John 13

Hi, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Before I dive into the sermon, a couple things about worship. First of all, Carly B. killed it on that last song. That was great. Yeah, I don't know where she is, but good job, Carly. Her last name is Buchanan, so we call her Carly B. around here. And then the second thing, I just want to let you in on something. And I feel like this is an important matter to bring to the church. Aaron's back there. He knows what I'm about to talk about. I don't know if you noticed during the second song that Carly and Aaron were smiling and looking at me, and I was laughing. Here's why, and I feel like we should all weigh in on this as partners. If you're not from the South, I don't care what you think about this. One of my favorite things about hymns, I'm just totally, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just telling you a story. One of my favorite things about hymns is how liberal the writers are with apostrophes. In hymns, they'll apostrophe anything, right? And one of my favorite ones is victory. Not victory like an obnoxious carpetbagger. Victory like a southerner. You know what I'm saying? Like victory. It's best in Victory in Jesus, that old hymn. So anyways, last week we're singing that song that we sang, the second one. What's that called, Aaron? I'm not telling. And there's victory in there. There's the word victory in there, but you sing it victory. You know, you sing it like that, but it's not apostrophe. Now it's bummed out. And then like two slides down, we apostrophed flowers, the E in flowers. How do you even, flowers, how do you even say that? That's not a thing. How are we going to apostrophe flowers and not victory? So it just made me mad. And I told Aaron and Carly last week, and I didn't know we were singing it this week. So it comes up and they're both giggling at me and I'm grinning at them. Anyways, now you know too, and we can together peer pressure him to fix the lyrics. So there is an apostrophe and victory as the Lord intended. Okay, let's get started. Actually, these words don't mean anything to you because I know that I'm the boy that cries excited. I know that. I'm excited about everything that I get to preach. I know that I say that to you. I'm really excited about this. This is a sermon that I knew I was going to preach as soon as we planned the series. I knew that we would arrive at this passage, and I've been very much looking forward to diving into it with you. So if you have a Bible with you, and I hope you do, go ahead and turn it to John chapter 13. This is the beginning of the Upper Room Discourse. You'll remember that this is a series called Final Thoughts. These are the final things that Jesus shared with the disciples before he was arrested and tried and crucified. And so it's just Jesus and the disciples in the upper room, and he has some final thoughts for them, and they're in John chapters 13 through 17. So the back half of John chapter 13, after washing their feet, Jesus starts to share with them. And if you look at verses 34 and 35, I'm not sure that you could definitively say what the most important and profound words of Christ are in his whole life. I don't know that there would be an agreement among scholars or pastors or believers as to what are the most important, most profound words Jesus ever spoke. But I know that you couldn't have that conversation without talking about what we find in those verses. I believe that what Jesus says here is so profound and powerful that hyperbole is lost on the import of these verses. So I want to look at them and read them with you. If you're a believer, I hope these are well-trodden verses for you. I hope you already almost know them before I even say them. And I hope, if you have your Bible with you, that you'll grab a pen and that you'll underline these verses. And that you'll highlight some of the phrases. We're going to spend the whole morning in these two verses, and we're going to look at three profound statements that Jesus makes in this compact section of text. And I hope that you'll take a pen and you'll underline and you'll mark. I hope that you'll make notes for yourself in your Bible. I've learned from a young age that if you show me a Bible that's falling apart, then I'll show you a person who isn't. So let's beat up our Bibles. Let's mark in them. Let's scratch in them. And let's note this passage together. John chapter 13, verses 34 and 35. This is Jesus speaking. A new command I give you. Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. That's a well-worn passage. This is a passage we ought to be familiar with. This is a passage of which the profundity cannot be overstated. It's so profound and stuck with the disciples so much in their memory that 30 years later, when two people who were in the room, Peter and John, when they write their epistles, when they write their letters to the church to be spread throughout the church and read throughout the church, they both included this maxim in their instructions, in their brief instructions to the church. In 1 Peter 4, 8, Peter says, above all else, love one another dearly. After everything's said and done, love one another dearly. John, in his three letters, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John, over and over and over again, if you say you believe in God and you do not love your brother, then you are a liar and the truth is not in you. He brings it back to love, back to love, back to love. Even Paul, who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament, was not in this room, did not hear this teaching personally, but heard it proclaimed by the disciples after him. When Paul writes his letter to Corinth, he ends it with that famous love passage. And he says, now after everything is said and done, in eternity, these three things remain, faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these? Love. We cannot overstate the importance, the efficacy, and the power of love. And this is what Jesus commands us here. It's how he opens his closing remarks. And so if it's so powerful and effective that everyone who's ever followed Jesus has reminded the people that they lead of this command, then we ought to look at the command and examine it and pick it apart and seek to understand it. And, I think, let the power of it wash over us. So the first portion of the text I want to point you to, a profound statement, is when he says this, a new command I give you. A new command I give you. Underline that in your Bible. Here's why this is profound. We know, because we have the benefit of hindsight, that Jesus is God. We understand the deity of Christ. They did not. They did not yet understand the deity of Christ. Certainly not the way that we do. You remember that when they're on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus is sleeping in the hull of the ship and the wind and the waves are crashing, that they go down and they wake Jesus up. And he says, peace be still. And the storm calms. And he goes back to sleep, a little bit annoyed that his nap got interrupted. And the disciples looked at each other. And they said, it's in the text. And they said, who is this that even the wind and the waves would obey him? They still do not understand the deity of Christ. In this moment, they understand loosely the deity of Christ, but not like we do. And so when Jesus says this new command I give you, he is placing himself solidly in the Trinity. He is placing himself as God because a new command has not been given for 4,000 years. 4,000 years ago, Moses walked down the mountain with two tablets of stone with a lot more than 10 commandments written on them. If you read the text, you find it was the 10, but then they were covered front and back. There's 630 some odd laws in the Old Testament based on Mosaic law. Nobody in Israel since then had given a new commandment because nobody had the authority to do it. Moses gave the commandments from God himself. God himself wrote on those tablets and gave them to Moses, and no one had questioned it since then. No one gives new commandments. That's not a thing that you can do unless you're God. So when Jesus says this, he's claiming that he is God. And I don't know how to help us understand how radical what he's doing is, but the only thing I can equate it to is our Bill of Rights, our Constitution. No citizen can just decide, I'm going to add an amendment. I hereby declare, and then add an amendment. As a matter of fact, we'll test this out. I'd like to add one right now. I hereby declare as an amendment to the United States Constitution that daylight savings time is stupid and abolished. I woke up an hour and a half late this morning. I should have only been a half hour late. But daylight savings time. It's stupid. And likes it. And nobody needs it. We're long since agrarian. All right. Nebraska can keep it if they want it. We're squared away. Thanks. But that doesn't do anything. I don't just get to add amendments willy-nilly. There's a whole process. If we can't add amendments to a document that some guys wrote 200 years ago, you definitely can't start adding commandments that God wrote 4,000 years ago. But Jesus does. And he says it's a new one. And this commandment, one of the things that makes it so radical, is that this commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. This commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. It's not that Jesus is saying, you don't have to worry about any of the stuff that you've been commanded previously. Go be adulterers. Go murder people. Knock yourselves out as long as you're loving people on the way. You're good. That's not the idea. We get a glimpse of the idea earlier in Christ's life when someone says, what's the greatest commandment? And the response is, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the greatest commandments with promise. On these hang the law and the prophets, meaning the entire Old Testament. And so what Jesus says in that statement is, basically, if you'll focus on loving God and loving others, the commandments will take care of themselves. It's not that you won't be walking in obedience or you'll be walking in disobedience to them. It's that you will automatically obey them by default. And so Jesus is being even more succinct here with this new commandment to love others as I have loved you and saying, as a matter of fact, just love others as I have loved you. Because if you're doing that, if you are loving the people in your life as Jesus loves us, you will by default be loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Because you cannot love as Jesus loved if you're not fueled by Jesus. You will by default. you're not going to have an affair. You're not going to go around murdering. You're not going to steal. You're not going to say unkind words. You're going to outdo one another in hospitality. You're going to be generous. You're going to be humble. You're not going to be greedy if we simply love other people as Christ loved us. It's the command that summarizes all the other commands, which makes it such an impactful command. And here's why it takes walking with Jesus to love like Jesus. Because Jesus loved in superhuman ways. That's the second big one I want you to underline. Let me just say it real quick. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. That's the new command. Now here's why this is so radical. Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever let someone into your life? Made yourself vulnerable to them? Given them the power to hurt you? And they have? Which, by the way, I think is vitally important to live vulnerable lives and have people invited into our life who do have the power and the capacity to hurt us because they know us that well and we love them that much. That's okay. That's a good thing. But have you ever done that with somebody who then betrayed you? Who used that exposure to hurt you? I know I've not experienced terrible betrayal, but I've tasted it. I've let people in, shared things, been vulnerable with them, and then that ended up getting used against me. That ended up getting turned towards me. That ended up with them judging me and not loving me. And that's hard. I shared years ago about when I did a sermon on forgiveness about a dear friend of mine whose husband had been having multiple affairs and it all blew up in their face one day. She had five kids under the age of 10. That's betrayal. I've never experienced betrayal like that. But I've tasted what it is to let someone in and then watch them hurt me. And if you've experienced betrayal too, let me ask you a question. If you could go back to when that person who hurt you entered into your life, and there was some sort of divine whisper that came to you and said, hey, just so you know, if you let this person in, they will hurt you. They are going to betray you. They're going to let you down and betray your confidence. If you somehow knew that at the very beginning of the relationship where they entered your life, if you knew it, how differently would you treat them? How much would you let them in? Would you let them in at all? When I think of the people who've hurt me, I go back to those places. If you were to ask me that question, hey, if you knew at the beginning that they were going to hurt you if you let them in, what would you do? I wouldn't be their friend. I wouldn't let them in. If my life forced me to be around them, I would be very guarded. I would have treated them completely differently. How would you treat the people in your life who have hurt you if you knew at the onset that they were going to do that? Would you have loved them differently? Would you have not let them in? Would that relationship have looked different? Something occurred to me as I was thinking through this passage. Immediately before Jesus starts this teaching, do you know what happened? He washed the feet of the disciples. And then he said, one of you is going to betray me. And then it comes that it was Judas. And he looked at Judas and he says one of the coolest lines in the Bible, what you're about to do, go and do it quickly. And Judas goes to betray him. Don't miss this. Jesus knew. He knew when he invited him in. When he called Judas to be his disciple. He knew. He knew he was going to get betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. He knew that. He knew who Jesus was when he walked up to him and he tapped his shoulder and he said, I want to invite you into my life for three years. I want you to spend every day with me. And I know what you're going to do at the end of those three years and you don't even know it yet. Jesus knew, man. And here's what's amazing. Nobody else did. We have no indication whatsoever from the text that Jesus treated Judas any differently than any of the other disciples. When they're sitting around the table, and Jesus says, one of you is going to betray me, nobody went, it's Judas, isn't it? I knew. I could tell. Nobody did that. Because Jesus treated them all the same. You understand that? He loved them all the same. For three years, he loved Judas with the same consistency and compassion and tenderness that he loved John. Polar opposite of a disciple. Is that not remarkable? How could you do that? How could you walk every day with someone who was going to betray you to be killed? Not just hurt your feelings like a little sissy, but betray you to be killed. Was gonna be the one who kissed you on the cheek to identify you to the guard of the high priest so that they could arrest you and beat you and kill you. And you love them the exact same as all their peers. Right before Jesus was betrayed, he washed Judas' feet. His grimy, sandaled, third world feet. So that he could go collect his betrayal money with clean toes. He had the freshly minted, humble love of Christ on his feet when he went to cash his check. And that's how Jesus loves Judas. Now here's what's important. You are Judas. I am Judas. We have, all of us, betrayed Christ in word and thought and deed. All of us have trampled on the grace of Christ. All of us have presumed upon his mercy. All of us have cheapened the blood of his sacrifice with our actions and our attitudes and our words. All of us. We are Judas. And yet, knowing the betrayal that you would bring, Jesus loves you anyways. That's the reckless nature of the love that we just sang about a few minutes ago. He continues to pursue us. He continues to come after us. He knows you're going to betray him in word and deed. He knows that you're going to trample on his death. He knows that you're going to cheapen his blood. He knows that and he loves you anyways. And you push him away and you betray him and you act in a way during the week that you won't act on a Sunday morning or you won't act on small group or you'll watch things that you're not supposed to watch. You'll take in things that you're not supposed to take in. You'll foster attitudes that you know he doesn't love and that he doesn't approve of. But he died for those anyways. He knew that you were going to betray him over and over and over again and he died for you anyways. He went anyways. He washed your feet anyways. He loved you anyways. That's how Jesus loves. So when Jesus says, go and love as I have loved you, that's what he means. Go love other people like I love Judas. It's not fair. They're going to hurt you. Okay, that's how I loved. They're not going to reciprocate. You're going to feel foolish. Okay. That's how I loved. It's going to cost something from me that I'm not going to get back. Okay. That's how I loved. That love is so powerful and profound that loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. Loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. We just spent two weeks on abiding in Christ. Two weeks on what it means to abide in him. If we are not abiding in Christ, there is no possible way we can love like Jesus loved. And what's interesting is the promise of abiding is abide in me and I in you and you will bear much fruit. What's the fruit of abiding in Christ? This kind of love. Sacrificial, reckless love that overcomes betrayal and humanity and hardship. This is the fruit of abiding in Christ. And here's what's remarkable about this fruit. Here's, not only does loving others as Christ loved us keep us in line with all the commandments, not only does it keep us attached to him and abiding in him because it's the only possible way to love like that, but it also becomes our defining marker. This is the third remarkable statement that we find in these verses. The third one, underline this. By this, everyone will know you are my disciples. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples. Love, we are told, church, is to be our defining marker to the world. And it's interesting to me how off the mark we can get. I remember one time when I missed the mark really, really badly. I was 15 years old, and we were hosting at our house Thanksgiving or Christmas for my mom's family that year. And we were a teetotaling house. No alcohol at all, ever. It was demon's liquor. And my aunt came over with, at the time, her roommate, Molly. And they brought with them a bottle of wine. And we didn't have a corkscrew in the house. We didn't have a wine opener. And so my mom said, son, will you go next door and borrow a corkscrew from our neighbor? And I, in my misguided 15-year-old piety, said, absolutely not. We don't drink alcohol in this house. And we're not starting today. Not doing it. God help my parents. I must have been impossible. Don't worry. Have you met Lily? I've got it coming. I'm going to walk the path. I refused to go. And my mom, I think probably a little misguidedly proud of me then, and now she's as ashamed of this as I am, didn't make me. I just said, well, looks like we're not doing it today, Indiana. And they put their bottle of wine back in the car. Now, Deanna and Molly had walked away from the church at that point. And as I reflect back on my actions that day, I'm so ashamed that I thought that the defining marker for my faith that day needed to be my piety and my holiness and the rules that I followed and the things that I did and didn't do. And we get really misguided at church that the best Christians are the ones who have the best grasp on their behavior, who do the things they're supposed to do and don't do the things they're not supposed to do, and the best knowledge of Scripture. We tend to judge someone's faith not by how well they love, which is what Jesus says the defining marker should be, but we judge the faith of others by how well they've reined in their behavior and how much they've learned about scripture. And don't get me wrong, those things are important. God is a God of holiness. He does want us to press towards piety, but the press towards piety, the press towards holiness, the press towards righteousness, the press towards having a guilt-free conscience should be in a desire to love as Jesus loved, not in a desire to prove ourselves and our holiness to others. And what kind of damage, what message did it send to my aunt that day? Rejection? Judgment? Holier than thou? It was a singularly unloving act to not just go get the stupid corkscrew. And instead, they felt judged. There's no way my actions turned them on to the church. There's no possible way I did that and they're like, you know what? I see Jesus in that boy. I want to know that Jesus because I want to start telling other people where they're screwing up. But isn't that historically what we look to to define spirituality. When Jesus says, the defining marker of your faith, how I want the world to know you, is by your love for other people. It ought to be our defining characteristic. And I'm not going to wade too deeply into these waters this morning because I don't have time and it's messy. But I would simply ask you, as you think about where church sits in the culture of America, is that our defining characteristic? Is that what the outside world would say that we are known for? It is, however, one of the things I am proud of grace for. Because I do think there are spots and moments where we do this really, really well. And what we see when we love really well is that love is actually the greatest apologetic. Love is the most compelling argument for Christ, especially in a culture saturated with church. If there's somebody in your neighborhood, if there's somebody you work with, if there's a friend that you have on your tennis team or wherever you go, and they don't go to church, let me tell you something. It's not because they haven't heard about it. It's not because they don't know. It's not because they haven't heard the name of Jesus and they're just waiting to be told. They know. And let me tell you something. The people that you know who don't go to church, can I just tell you, they have a reason. And can I tell you this? It's probably a good one. So the greatest apologetic to a culture of people who have on purpose turned away from the church is to love them well. It's more convincing than any book. It's more convincing than A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, although that's a great one. It's more convincing than any argument or TV show. Showing them the love of Christ compels them towards Christ. I think this is the way I put it. Loving someone in the name of Jesus compels them towards Jesus. Loving someone in the name of Christ like Christ loves compels them towards Christ. And here's why I think it can be so effective and so contagious. I heard this story a couple of weeks ago, and I was so proud when I heard it. In the fall, we had the Addis Jamari, one of our great ministry partners doing great work with the orphans in Ethiopia, had an event last fall. And whenever there's an AJ event, Addis Jamari, it's like 75% grace people, at least, right? And so one of our partners invited some friends that they used to work with to come to the event and see what AJ does. And the friends that they invited are a part of a church in the kind of way that there's a church where you're on their membership role, which is, and you have to remove your letter and stuff like that, which is, I don't understand. I don't understand it. I got a, germane to nothing, I got a letter early on in my tenure here that someone who I had never met was requesting removal of their letter from this church to this other church down the road. And I just wrote them back and I was like, consider all letters moved, ever. You don't have to ever ask me this again. I don't know what this means. So some churches had their letter for like 20 years, but they don't really go. I haven't been since their kids went around. They're kind of cold to church. But they came to this AJ event. And after spending an evening around grace people, they pulled my friend aside and they said, there's something different here. You guys actually like, you like each other. You guys see, everyone knows everyone's name. You seem to get along. This is not like churches we've been around. We want to find out more about your church. So they did. They went to dinner. They told them a little bit more. And I've gotten to spend some time around them. And they say that they're wanting to start coming. They may be watching online. Hey. But it wasn't an argument. It wasn't an invitation. It wasn't a book. It wasn't a moment of conviction. It was an exposure to a group of people who want to connect people to Jesus and connect people to people. It was an exposure to the love and the community shared in the church. And they said, I want to be a part of that. That is a compelling love. The challenge, church, is not simply to love each other that way, but to love everyone that way and to be obedient to this new command. Can you imagine with me the power and efficacy of a church that is zealous about loving as Christ loves. Can you imagine how contagious that faith would be? Can you imagine how exuberant our worship would be every Sunday? Can you imagine how much better I'm going to have to step it up to preach to you because you've been preaching to yourself the love of Christ every day and loving everybody in your neighborhood? Can you imagine the power of a group of people who comes together and takes seriously this new command that Jesus gives us and says, you know what? Everything else is fine. It'll take care of itself. I'm going to focus on the loving. And we took steps to abide in Christ, to walk with him, and we let him produce the fruit in our lives, which is this love. And we love everybody the way that Jesus loves Judas and loves us. Can you imagine what God could do with a church of people like that? I asked you earlier, what do you think the Big C Church is known for? What's our defining characteristic? And I don't know where you went and I don't know what you thought, but here's what I do know. We don't have any say over what other churches do, nor should we, by the way. We barely deserve say here, I question it. But we have say over who we are and over what we do. And wouldn't it be amazing if when people heard the name Grace Raleigh in our community, if the first thing they thought was, that church loves well. What if that were our defining characteristic? Let's make it so, Grace. Let's be Christians who love well. Let's be Christians who make that our identifying trait over and above all the other elements of our faith. And let's watch what God can do with a church of people who love like him. Let's pray. Father, we love you because you love us. We can never hope to love like you without you. We thank you for your reckless, sacrificial love. For watching your son suffer and die the way that he did. So that you could claim souls to heaven that would betray you and trample on you over and over again on our way there. God, if nothing else, would we sit humbly and graciously in the reality of your love for us? And as we do that, Father, would it please compel us to go love others in your name? We ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Hi, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Before I dive into the sermon, a couple things about worship. First of all, Carly B. killed it on that last song. That was great. Yeah, I don't know where she is, but good job, Carly. Her last name is Buchanan, so we call her Carly B. around here. And then the second thing, I just want to let you in on something. And I feel like this is an important matter to bring to the church. Aaron's back there. He knows what I'm about to talk about. I don't know if you noticed during the second song that Carly and Aaron were smiling and looking at me, and I was laughing. Here's why, and I feel like we should all weigh in on this as partners. If you're not from the South, I don't care what you think about this. One of my favorite things about hymns, I'm just totally, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just telling you a story. One of my favorite things about hymns is how liberal the writers are with apostrophes. In hymns, they'll apostrophe anything, right? And one of my favorite ones is victory. Not victory like an obnoxious carpetbagger. Victory like a southerner. You know what I'm saying? Like victory. It's best in Victory in Jesus, that old hymn. So anyways, last week we're singing that song that we sang, the second one. What's that called, Aaron? I'm not telling. And there's victory in there. There's the word victory in there, but you sing it victory. You know, you sing it like that, but it's not apostrophe. Now it's bummed out. And then like two slides down, we apostrophed flowers, the E in flowers. How do you even, flowers, how do you even say that? That's not a thing. How are we going to apostrophe flowers and not victory? So it just made me mad. And I told Aaron and Carly last week, and I didn't know we were singing it this week. So it comes up and they're both giggling at me and I'm grinning at them. Anyways, now you know too, and we can together peer pressure him to fix the lyrics. So there is an apostrophe and victory as the Lord intended. Okay, let's get started. Actually, these words don't mean anything to you because I know that I'm the boy that cries excited. I know that. I'm excited about everything that I get to preach. I know that I say that to you. I'm really excited about this. This is a sermon that I knew I was going to preach as soon as we planned the series. I knew that we would arrive at this passage, and I've been very much looking forward to diving into it with you. So if you have a Bible with you, and I hope you do, go ahead and turn it to John chapter 13. This is the beginning of the Upper Room Discourse. You'll remember that this is a series called Final Thoughts. These are the final things that Jesus shared with the disciples before he was arrested and tried and crucified. And so it's just Jesus and the disciples in the upper room, and he has some final thoughts for them, and they're in John chapters 13 through 17. So the back half of John chapter 13, after washing their feet, Jesus starts to share with them. And if you look at verses 34 and 35, I'm not sure that you could definitively say what the most important and profound words of Christ are in his whole life. I don't know that there would be an agreement among scholars or pastors or believers as to what are the most important, most profound words Jesus ever spoke. But I know that you couldn't have that conversation without talking about what we find in those verses. I believe that what Jesus says here is so profound and powerful that hyperbole is lost on the import of these verses. So I want to look at them and read them with you. If you're a believer, I hope these are well-trodden verses for you. I hope you already almost know them before I even say them. And I hope, if you have your Bible with you, that you'll grab a pen and that you'll underline these verses. And that you'll highlight some of the phrases. We're going to spend the whole morning in these two verses, and we're going to look at three profound statements that Jesus makes in this compact section of text. And I hope that you'll take a pen and you'll underline and you'll mark. I hope that you'll make notes for yourself in your Bible. I've learned from a young age that if you show me a Bible that's falling apart, then I'll show you a person who isn't. So let's beat up our Bibles. Let's mark in them. Let's scratch in them. And let's note this passage together. John chapter 13, verses 34 and 35. This is Jesus speaking. A new command I give you. Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. That's a well-worn passage. This is a passage we ought to be familiar with. This is a passage of which the profundity cannot be overstated. It's so profound and stuck with the disciples so much in their memory that 30 years later, when two people who were in the room, Peter and John, when they write their epistles, when they write their letters to the church to be spread throughout the church and read throughout the church, they both included this maxim in their instructions, in their brief instructions to the church. In 1 Peter 4, 8, Peter says, above all else, love one another dearly. After everything's said and done, love one another dearly. John, in his three letters, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John, over and over and over again, if you say you believe in God and you do not love your brother, then you are a liar and the truth is not in you. He brings it back to love, back to love, back to love. Even Paul, who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament, was not in this room, did not hear this teaching personally, but heard it proclaimed by the disciples after him. When Paul writes his letter to Corinth, he ends it with that famous love passage. And he says, now after everything is said and done, in eternity, these three things remain, faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these? Love. We cannot overstate the importance, the efficacy, and the power of love. And this is what Jesus commands us here. It's how he opens his closing remarks. And so if it's so powerful and effective that everyone who's ever followed Jesus has reminded the people that they lead of this command, then we ought to look at the command and examine it and pick it apart and seek to understand it. And, I think, let the power of it wash over us. So the first portion of the text I want to point you to, a profound statement, is when he says this, a new command I give you. A new command I give you. Underline that in your Bible. Here's why this is profound. We know, because we have the benefit of hindsight, that Jesus is God. We understand the deity of Christ. They did not. They did not yet understand the deity of Christ. Certainly not the way that we do. You remember that when they're on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus is sleeping in the hull of the ship and the wind and the waves are crashing, that they go down and they wake Jesus up. And he says, peace be still. And the storm calms. And he goes back to sleep, a little bit annoyed that his nap got interrupted. And the disciples looked at each other. And they said, it's in the text. And they said, who is this that even the wind and the waves would obey him? They still do not understand the deity of Christ. In this moment, they understand loosely the deity of Christ, but not like we do. And so when Jesus says this new command I give you, he is placing himself solidly in the Trinity. He is placing himself as God because a new command has not been given for 4,000 years. 4,000 years ago, Moses walked down the mountain with two tablets of stone with a lot more than 10 commandments written on them. If you read the text, you find it was the 10, but then they were covered front and back. There's 630 some odd laws in the Old Testament based on Mosaic law. Nobody in Israel since then had given a new commandment because nobody had the authority to do it. Moses gave the commandments from God himself. God himself wrote on those tablets and gave them to Moses, and no one had questioned it since then. No one gives new commandments. That's not a thing that you can do unless you're God. So when Jesus says this, he's claiming that he is God. And I don't know how to help us understand how radical what he's doing is, but the only thing I can equate it to is our Bill of Rights, our Constitution. No citizen can just decide, I'm going to add an amendment. I hereby declare, and then add an amendment. As a matter of fact, we'll test this out. I'd like to add one right now. I hereby declare as an amendment to the United States Constitution that daylight savings time is stupid and abolished. I woke up an hour and a half late this morning. I should have only been a half hour late. But daylight savings time. It's stupid. And likes it. And nobody needs it. We're long since agrarian. All right. Nebraska can keep it if they want it. We're squared away. Thanks. But that doesn't do anything. I don't just get to add amendments willy-nilly. There's a whole process. If we can't add amendments to a document that some guys wrote 200 years ago, you definitely can't start adding commandments that God wrote 4,000 years ago. But Jesus does. And he says it's a new one. And this commandment, one of the things that makes it so radical, is that this commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. This commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. It's not that Jesus is saying, you don't have to worry about any of the stuff that you've been commanded previously. Go be adulterers. Go murder people. Knock yourselves out as long as you're loving people on the way. You're good. That's not the idea. We get a glimpse of the idea earlier in Christ's life when someone says, what's the greatest commandment? And the response is, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the greatest commandments with promise. On these hang the law and the prophets, meaning the entire Old Testament. And so what Jesus says in that statement is, basically, if you'll focus on loving God and loving others, the commandments will take care of themselves. It's not that you won't be walking in obedience or you'll be walking in disobedience to them. It's that you will automatically obey them by default. And so Jesus is being even more succinct here with this new commandment to love others as I have loved you and saying, as a matter of fact, just love others as I have loved you. Because if you're doing that, if you are loving the people in your life as Jesus loves us, you will by default be loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Because you cannot love as Jesus loved if you're not fueled by Jesus. You will by default. you're not going to have an affair. You're not going to go around murdering. You're not going to steal. You're not going to say unkind words. You're going to outdo one another in hospitality. You're going to be generous. You're going to be humble. You're not going to be greedy if we simply love other people as Christ loved us. It's the command that summarizes all the other commands, which makes it such an impactful command. And here's why it takes walking with Jesus to love like Jesus. Because Jesus loved in superhuman ways. That's the second big one I want you to underline. Let me just say it real quick. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. That's the new command. Now here's why this is so radical. Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever let someone into your life? Made yourself vulnerable to them? Given them the power to hurt you? And they have? Which, by the way, I think is vitally important to live vulnerable lives and have people invited into our life who do have the power and the capacity to hurt us because they know us that well and we love them that much. That's okay. That's a good thing. But have you ever done that with somebody who then betrayed you? Who used that exposure to hurt you? I know I've not experienced terrible betrayal, but I've tasted it. I've let people in, shared things, been vulnerable with them, and then that ended up getting used against me. That ended up getting turned towards me. That ended up with them judging me and not loving me. And that's hard. I shared years ago about when I did a sermon on forgiveness about a dear friend of mine whose husband had been having multiple affairs and it all blew up in their face one day. She had five kids under the age of 10. That's betrayal. I've never experienced betrayal like that. But I've tasted what it is to let someone in and then watch them hurt me. And if you've experienced betrayal too, let me ask you a question. If you could go back to when that person who hurt you entered into your life, and there was some sort of divine whisper that came to you and said, hey, just so you know, if you let this person in, they will hurt you. They are going to betray you. They're going to let you down and betray your confidence. If you somehow knew that at the very beginning of the relationship where they entered your life, if you knew it, how differently would you treat them? How much would you let them in? Would you let them in at all? When I think of the people who've hurt me, I go back to those places. If you were to ask me that question, hey, if you knew at the beginning that they were going to hurt you if you let them in, what would you do? I wouldn't be their friend. I wouldn't let them in. If my life forced me to be around them, I would be very guarded. I would have treated them completely differently. How would you treat the people in your life who have hurt you if you knew at the onset that they were going to do that? Would you have loved them differently? Would you have not let them in? Would that relationship have looked different? Something occurred to me as I was thinking through this passage. Immediately before Jesus starts this teaching, do you know what happened? He washed the feet of the disciples. And then he said, one of you is going to betray me. And then it comes that it was Judas. And he looked at Judas and he says one of the coolest lines in the Bible, what you're about to do, go and do it quickly. And Judas goes to betray him. Don't miss this. Jesus knew. He knew when he invited him in. When he called Judas to be his disciple. He knew. He knew he was going to get betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. He knew that. He knew who Jesus was when he walked up to him and he tapped his shoulder and he said, I want to invite you into my life for three years. I want you to spend every day with me. And I know what you're going to do at the end of those three years and you don't even know it yet. Jesus knew, man. And here's what's amazing. Nobody else did. We have no indication whatsoever from the text that Jesus treated Judas any differently than any of the other disciples. When they're sitting around the table, and Jesus says, one of you is going to betray me, nobody went, it's Judas, isn't it? I knew. I could tell. Nobody did that. Because Jesus treated them all the same. You understand that? He loved them all the same. For three years, he loved Judas with the same consistency and compassion and tenderness that he loved John. Polar opposite of a disciple. Is that not remarkable? How could you do that? How could you walk every day with someone who was going to betray you to be killed? Not just hurt your feelings like a little sissy, but betray you to be killed. Was gonna be the one who kissed you on the cheek to identify you to the guard of the high priest so that they could arrest you and beat you and kill you. And you love them the exact same as all their peers. Right before Jesus was betrayed, he washed Judas' feet. His grimy, sandaled, third world feet. So that he could go collect his betrayal money with clean toes. He had the freshly minted, humble love of Christ on his feet when he went to cash his check. And that's how Jesus loves Judas. Now here's what's important. You are Judas. I am Judas. We have, all of us, betrayed Christ in word and thought and deed. All of us have trampled on the grace of Christ. All of us have presumed upon his mercy. All of us have cheapened the blood of his sacrifice with our actions and our attitudes and our words. All of us. We are Judas. And yet, knowing the betrayal that you would bring, Jesus loves you anyways. That's the reckless nature of the love that we just sang about a few minutes ago. He continues to pursue us. He continues to come after us. He knows you're going to betray him in word and deed. He knows that you're going to trample on his death. He knows that you're going to cheapen his blood. He knows that and he loves you anyways. And you push him away and you betray him and you act in a way during the week that you won't act on a Sunday morning or you won't act on small group or you'll watch things that you're not supposed to watch. You'll take in things that you're not supposed to take in. You'll foster attitudes that you know he doesn't love and that he doesn't approve of. But he died for those anyways. He knew that you were going to betray him over and over and over again and he died for you anyways. He went anyways. He washed your feet anyways. He loved you anyways. That's how Jesus loves. So when Jesus says, go and love as I have loved you, that's what he means. Go love other people like I love Judas. It's not fair. They're going to hurt you. Okay, that's how I loved. They're not going to reciprocate. You're going to feel foolish. Okay. That's how I loved. It's going to cost something from me that I'm not going to get back. Okay. That's how I loved. That love is so powerful and profound that loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. Loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. We just spent two weeks on abiding in Christ. Two weeks on what it means to abide in him. If we are not abiding in Christ, there is no possible way we can love like Jesus loved. And what's interesting is the promise of abiding is abide in me and I in you and you will bear much fruit. What's the fruit of abiding in Christ? This kind of love. Sacrificial, reckless love that overcomes betrayal and humanity and hardship. This is the fruit of abiding in Christ. And here's what's remarkable about this fruit. Here's, not only does loving others as Christ loved us keep us in line with all the commandments, not only does it keep us attached to him and abiding in him because it's the only possible way to love like that, but it also becomes our defining marker. This is the third remarkable statement that we find in these verses. The third one, underline this. By this, everyone will know you are my disciples. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples. Love, we are told, church, is to be our defining marker to the world. And it's interesting to me how off the mark we can get. I remember one time when I missed the mark really, really badly. I was 15 years old, and we were hosting at our house Thanksgiving or Christmas for my mom's family that year. And we were a teetotaling house. No alcohol at all, ever. It was demon's liquor. And my aunt came over with, at the time, her roommate, Molly. And they brought with them a bottle of wine. And we didn't have a corkscrew in the house. We didn't have a wine opener. And so my mom said, son, will you go next door and borrow a corkscrew from our neighbor? And I, in my misguided 15-year-old piety, said, absolutely not. We don't drink alcohol in this house. And we're not starting today. Not doing it. God help my parents. I must have been impossible. Don't worry. Have you met Lily? I've got it coming. I'm going to walk the path. I refused to go. And my mom, I think probably a little misguidedly proud of me then, and now she's as ashamed of this as I am, didn't make me. I just said, well, looks like we're not doing it today, Indiana. And they put their bottle of wine back in the car. Now, Deanna and Molly had walked away from the church at that point. And as I reflect back on my actions that day, I'm so ashamed that I thought that the defining marker for my faith that day needed to be my piety and my holiness and the rules that I followed and the things that I did and didn't do. And we get really misguided at church that the best Christians are the ones who have the best grasp on their behavior, who do the things they're supposed to do and don't do the things they're not supposed to do, and the best knowledge of Scripture. We tend to judge someone's faith not by how well they love, which is what Jesus says the defining marker should be, but we judge the faith of others by how well they've reined in their behavior and how much they've learned about scripture. And don't get me wrong, those things are important. God is a God of holiness. He does want us to press towards piety, but the press towards piety, the press towards holiness, the press towards righteousness, the press towards having a guilt-free conscience should be in a desire to love as Jesus loved, not in a desire to prove ourselves and our holiness to others. And what kind of damage, what message did it send to my aunt that day? Rejection? Judgment? Holier than thou? It was a singularly unloving act to not just go get the stupid corkscrew. And instead, they felt judged. There's no way my actions turned them on to the church. There's no possible way I did that and they're like, you know what? I see Jesus in that boy. I want to know that Jesus because I want to start telling other people where they're screwing up. But isn't that historically what we look to to define spirituality. When Jesus says, the defining marker of your faith, how I want the world to know you, is by your love for other people. It ought to be our defining characteristic. And I'm not going to wade too deeply into these waters this morning because I don't have time and it's messy. But I would simply ask you, as you think about where church sits in the culture of America, is that our defining characteristic? Is that what the outside world would say that we are known for? It is, however, one of the things I am proud of grace for. Because I do think there are spots and moments where we do this really, really well. And what we see when we love really well is that love is actually the greatest apologetic. Love is the most compelling argument for Christ, especially in a culture saturated with church. If there's somebody in your neighborhood, if there's somebody you work with, if there's a friend that you have on your tennis team or wherever you go, and they don't go to church, let me tell you something. It's not because they haven't heard about it. It's not because they don't know. It's not because they haven't heard the name of Jesus and they're just waiting to be told. They know. And let me tell you something. The people that you know who don't go to church, can I just tell you, they have a reason. And can I tell you this? It's probably a good one. So the greatest apologetic to a culture of people who have on purpose turned away from the church is to love them well. It's more convincing than any book. It's more convincing than A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, although that's a great one. It's more convincing than any argument or TV show. Showing them the love of Christ compels them towards Christ. I think this is the way I put it. Loving someone in the name of Jesus compels them towards Jesus. Loving someone in the name of Christ like Christ loves compels them towards Christ. And here's why I think it can be so effective and so contagious. I heard this story a couple of weeks ago, and I was so proud when I heard it. In the fall, we had the Addis Jamari, one of our great ministry partners doing great work with the orphans in Ethiopia, had an event last fall. And whenever there's an AJ event, Addis Jamari, it's like 75% grace people, at least, right? And so one of our partners invited some friends that they used to work with to come to the event and see what AJ does. And the friends that they invited are a part of a church in the kind of way that there's a church where you're on their membership role, which is, and you have to remove your letter and stuff like that, which is, I don't understand. I don't understand it. I got a, germane to nothing, I got a letter early on in my tenure here that someone who I had never met was requesting removal of their letter from this church to this other church down the road. And I just wrote them back and I was like, consider all letters moved, ever. You don't have to ever ask me this again. I don't know what this means. So some churches had their letter for like 20 years, but they don't really go. I haven't been since their kids went around. They're kind of cold to church. But they came to this AJ event. And after spending an evening around grace people, they pulled my friend aside and they said, there's something different here. You guys actually like, you like each other. You guys see, everyone knows everyone's name. You seem to get along. This is not like churches we've been around. We want to find out more about your church. So they did. They went to dinner. They told them a little bit more. And I've gotten to spend some time around them. And they say that they're wanting to start coming. They may be watching online. Hey. But it wasn't an argument. It wasn't an invitation. It wasn't a book. It wasn't a moment of conviction. It was an exposure to a group of people who want to connect people to Jesus and connect people to people. It was an exposure to the love and the community shared in the church. And they said, I want to be a part of that. That is a compelling love. The challenge, church, is not simply to love each other that way, but to love everyone that way and to be obedient to this new command. Can you imagine with me the power and efficacy of a church that is zealous about loving as Christ loves. Can you imagine how contagious that faith would be? Can you imagine how exuberant our worship would be every Sunday? Can you imagine how much better I'm going to have to step it up to preach to you because you've been preaching to yourself the love of Christ every day and loving everybody in your neighborhood? Can you imagine the power of a group of people who comes together and takes seriously this new command that Jesus gives us and says, you know what? Everything else is fine. It'll take care of itself. I'm going to focus on the loving. And we took steps to abide in Christ, to walk with him, and we let him produce the fruit in our lives, which is this love. And we love everybody the way that Jesus loves Judas and loves us. Can you imagine what God could do with a church of people like that? I asked you earlier, what do you think the Big C Church is known for? What's our defining characteristic? And I don't know where you went and I don't know what you thought, but here's what I do know. We don't have any say over what other churches do, nor should we, by the way. We barely deserve say here, I question it. But we have say over who we are and over what we do. And wouldn't it be amazing if when people heard the name Grace Raleigh in our community, if the first thing they thought was, that church loves well. What if that were our defining characteristic? Let's make it so, Grace. Let's be Christians who love well. Let's be Christians who make that our identifying trait over and above all the other elements of our faith. And let's watch what God can do with a church of people who love like him. Let's pray. Father, we love you because you love us. We can never hope to love like you without you. We thank you for your reckless, sacrificial love. For watching your son suffer and die the way that he did. So that you could claim souls to heaven that would betray you and trample on you over and over again on our way there. God, if nothing else, would we sit humbly and graciously in the reality of your love for us? And as we do that, Father, would it please compel us to go love others in your name? We ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Hi, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Before I dive into the sermon, a couple things about worship. First of all, Carly B. killed it on that last song. That was great. Yeah, I don't know where she is, but good job, Carly. Her last name is Buchanan, so we call her Carly B. around here. And then the second thing, I just want to let you in on something. And I feel like this is an important matter to bring to the church. Aaron's back there. He knows what I'm about to talk about. I don't know if you noticed during the second song that Carly and Aaron were smiling and looking at me, and I was laughing. Here's why, and I feel like we should all weigh in on this as partners. If you're not from the South, I don't care what you think about this. One of my favorite things about hymns, I'm just totally, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just telling you a story. One of my favorite things about hymns is how liberal the writers are with apostrophes. In hymns, they'll apostrophe anything, right? And one of my favorite ones is victory. Not victory like an obnoxious carpetbagger. Victory like a southerner. You know what I'm saying? Like victory. It's best in Victory in Jesus, that old hymn. So anyways, last week we're singing that song that we sang, the second one. What's that called, Aaron? I'm not telling. And there's victory in there. There's the word victory in there, but you sing it victory. You know, you sing it like that, but it's not apostrophe. Now it's bummed out. And then like two slides down, we apostrophed flowers, the E in flowers. How do you even, flowers, how do you even say that? That's not a thing. How are we going to apostrophe flowers and not victory? So it just made me mad. And I told Aaron and Carly last week, and I didn't know we were singing it this week. So it comes up and they're both giggling at me and I'm grinning at them. Anyways, now you know too, and we can together peer pressure him to fix the lyrics. So there is an apostrophe and victory as the Lord intended. Okay, let's get started. Actually, these words don't mean anything to you because I know that I'm the boy that cries excited. I know that. I'm excited about everything that I get to preach. I know that I say that to you. I'm really excited about this. This is a sermon that I knew I was going to preach as soon as we planned the series. I knew that we would arrive at this passage, and I've been very much looking forward to diving into it with you. So if you have a Bible with you, and I hope you do, go ahead and turn it to John chapter 13. This is the beginning of the Upper Room Discourse. You'll remember that this is a series called Final Thoughts. These are the final things that Jesus shared with the disciples before he was arrested and tried and crucified. And so it's just Jesus and the disciples in the upper room, and he has some final thoughts for them, and they're in John chapters 13 through 17. So the back half of John chapter 13, after washing their feet, Jesus starts to share with them. And if you look at verses 34 and 35, I'm not sure that you could definitively say what the most important and profound words of Christ are in his whole life. I don't know that there would be an agreement among scholars or pastors or believers as to what are the most important, most profound words Jesus ever spoke. But I know that you couldn't have that conversation without talking about what we find in those verses. I believe that what Jesus says here is so profound and powerful that hyperbole is lost on the import of these verses. So I want to look at them and read them with you. If you're a believer, I hope these are well-trodden verses for you. I hope you already almost know them before I even say them. And I hope, if you have your Bible with you, that you'll grab a pen and that you'll underline these verses. And that you'll highlight some of the phrases. We're going to spend the whole morning in these two verses, and we're going to look at three profound statements that Jesus makes in this compact section of text. And I hope that you'll take a pen and you'll underline and you'll mark. I hope that you'll make notes for yourself in your Bible. I've learned from a young age that if you show me a Bible that's falling apart, then I'll show you a person who isn't. So let's beat up our Bibles. Let's mark in them. Let's scratch in them. And let's note this passage together. John chapter 13, verses 34 and 35. This is Jesus speaking. A new command I give you. Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. That's a well-worn passage. This is a passage we ought to be familiar with. This is a passage of which the profundity cannot be overstated. It's so profound and stuck with the disciples so much in their memory that 30 years later, when two people who were in the room, Peter and John, when they write their epistles, when they write their letters to the church to be spread throughout the church and read throughout the church, they both included this maxim in their instructions, in their brief instructions to the church. In 1 Peter 4, 8, Peter says, above all else, love one another dearly. After everything's said and done, love one another dearly. John, in his three letters, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John, over and over and over again, if you say you believe in God and you do not love your brother, then you are a liar and the truth is not in you. He brings it back to love, back to love, back to love. Even Paul, who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament, was not in this room, did not hear this teaching personally, but heard it proclaimed by the disciples after him. When Paul writes his letter to Corinth, he ends it with that famous love passage. And he says, now after everything is said and done, in eternity, these three things remain, faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these? Love. We cannot overstate the importance, the efficacy, and the power of love. And this is what Jesus commands us here. It's how he opens his closing remarks. And so if it's so powerful and effective that everyone who's ever followed Jesus has reminded the people that they lead of this command, then we ought to look at the command and examine it and pick it apart and seek to understand it. And, I think, let the power of it wash over us. So the first portion of the text I want to point you to, a profound statement, is when he says this, a new command I give you. A new command I give you. Underline that in your Bible. Here's why this is profound. We know, because we have the benefit of hindsight, that Jesus is God. We understand the deity of Christ. They did not. They did not yet understand the deity of Christ. Certainly not the way that we do. You remember that when they're on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus is sleeping in the hull of the ship and the wind and the waves are crashing, that they go down and they wake Jesus up. And he says, peace be still. And the storm calms. And he goes back to sleep, a little bit annoyed that his nap got interrupted. And the disciples looked at each other. And they said, it's in the text. And they said, who is this that even the wind and the waves would obey him? They still do not understand the deity of Christ. In this moment, they understand loosely the deity of Christ, but not like we do. And so when Jesus says this new command I give you, he is placing himself solidly in the Trinity. He is placing himself as God because a new command has not been given for 4,000 years. 4,000 years ago, Moses walked down the mountain with two tablets of stone with a lot more than 10 commandments written on them. If you read the text, you find it was the 10, but then they were covered front and back. There's 630 some odd laws in the Old Testament based on Mosaic law. Nobody in Israel since then had given a new commandment because nobody had the authority to do it. Moses gave the commandments from God himself. God himself wrote on those tablets and gave them to Moses, and no one had questioned it since then. No one gives new commandments. That's not a thing that you can do unless you're God. So when Jesus says this, he's claiming that he is God. And I don't know how to help us understand how radical what he's doing is, but the only thing I can equate it to is our Bill of Rights, our Constitution. No citizen can just decide, I'm going to add an amendment. I hereby declare, and then add an amendment. As a matter of fact, we'll test this out. I'd like to add one right now. I hereby declare as an amendment to the United States Constitution that daylight savings time is stupid and abolished. I woke up an hour and a half late this morning. I should have only been a half hour late. But daylight savings time. It's stupid. And likes it. And nobody needs it. We're long since agrarian. All right. Nebraska can keep it if they want it. We're squared away. Thanks. But that doesn't do anything. I don't just get to add amendments willy-nilly. There's a whole process. If we can't add amendments to a document that some guys wrote 200 years ago, you definitely can't start adding commandments that God wrote 4,000 years ago. But Jesus does. And he says it's a new one. And this commandment, one of the things that makes it so radical, is that this commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. This commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. It's not that Jesus is saying, you don't have to worry about any of the stuff that you've been commanded previously. Go be adulterers. Go murder people. Knock yourselves out as long as you're loving people on the way. You're good. That's not the idea. We get a glimpse of the idea earlier in Christ's life when someone says, what's the greatest commandment? And the response is, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the greatest commandments with promise. On these hang the law and the prophets, meaning the entire Old Testament. And so what Jesus says in that statement is, basically, if you'll focus on loving God and loving others, the commandments will take care of themselves. It's not that you won't be walking in obedience or you'll be walking in disobedience to them. It's that you will automatically obey them by default. And so Jesus is being even more succinct here with this new commandment to love others as I have loved you and saying, as a matter of fact, just love others as I have loved you. Because if you're doing that, if you are loving the people in your life as Jesus loves us, you will by default be loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Because you cannot love as Jesus loved if you're not fueled by Jesus. You will by default. you're not going to have an affair. You're not going to go around murdering. You're not going to steal. You're not going to say unkind words. You're going to outdo one another in hospitality. You're going to be generous. You're going to be humble. You're not going to be greedy if we simply love other people as Christ loved us. It's the command that summarizes all the other commands, which makes it such an impactful command. And here's why it takes walking with Jesus to love like Jesus. Because Jesus loved in superhuman ways. That's the second big one I want you to underline. Let me just say it real quick. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. That's the new command. Now here's why this is so radical. Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever let someone into your life? Made yourself vulnerable to them? Given them the power to hurt you? And they have? Which, by the way, I think is vitally important to live vulnerable lives and have people invited into our life who do have the power and the capacity to hurt us because they know us that well and we love them that much. That's okay. That's a good thing. But have you ever done that with somebody who then betrayed you? Who used that exposure to hurt you? I know I've not experienced terrible betrayal, but I've tasted it. I've let people in, shared things, been vulnerable with them, and then that ended up getting used against me. That ended up getting turned towards me. That ended up with them judging me and not loving me. And that's hard. I shared years ago about when I did a sermon on forgiveness about a dear friend of mine whose husband had been having multiple affairs and it all blew up in their face one day. She had five kids under the age of 10. That's betrayal. I've never experienced betrayal like that. But I've tasted what it is to let someone in and then watch them hurt me. And if you've experienced betrayal too, let me ask you a question. If you could go back to when that person who hurt you entered into your life, and there was some sort of divine whisper that came to you and said, hey, just so you know, if you let this person in, they will hurt you. They are going to betray you. They're going to let you down and betray your confidence. If you somehow knew that at the very beginning of the relationship where they entered your life, if you knew it, how differently would you treat them? How much would you let them in? Would you let them in at all? When I think of the people who've hurt me, I go back to those places. If you were to ask me that question, hey, if you knew at the beginning that they were going to hurt you if you let them in, what would you do? I wouldn't be their friend. I wouldn't let them in. If my life forced me to be around them, I would be very guarded. I would have treated them completely differently. How would you treat the people in your life who have hurt you if you knew at the onset that they were going to do that? Would you have loved them differently? Would you have not let them in? Would that relationship have looked different? Something occurred to me as I was thinking through this passage. Immediately before Jesus starts this teaching, do you know what happened? He washed the feet of the disciples. And then he said, one of you is going to betray me. And then it comes that it was Judas. And he looked at Judas and he says one of the coolest lines in the Bible, what you're about to do, go and do it quickly. And Judas goes to betray him. Don't miss this. Jesus knew. He knew when he invited him in. When he called Judas to be his disciple. He knew. He knew he was going to get betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. He knew that. He knew who Jesus was when he walked up to him and he tapped his shoulder and he said, I want to invite you into my life for three years. I want you to spend every day with me. And I know what you're going to do at the end of those three years and you don't even know it yet. Jesus knew, man. And here's what's amazing. Nobody else did. We have no indication whatsoever from the text that Jesus treated Judas any differently than any of the other disciples. When they're sitting around the table, and Jesus says, one of you is going to betray me, nobody went, it's Judas, isn't it? I knew. I could tell. Nobody did that. Because Jesus treated them all the same. You understand that? He loved them all the same. For three years, he loved Judas with the same consistency and compassion and tenderness that he loved John. Polar opposite of a disciple. Is that not remarkable? How could you do that? How could you walk every day with someone who was going to betray you to be killed? Not just hurt your feelings like a little sissy, but betray you to be killed. Was gonna be the one who kissed you on the cheek to identify you to the guard of the high priest so that they could arrest you and beat you and kill you. And you love them the exact same as all their peers. Right before Jesus was betrayed, he washed Judas' feet. His grimy, sandaled, third world feet. So that he could go collect his betrayal money with clean toes. He had the freshly minted, humble love of Christ on his feet when he went to cash his check. And that's how Jesus loves Judas. Now here's what's important. You are Judas. I am Judas. We have, all of us, betrayed Christ in word and thought and deed. All of us have trampled on the grace of Christ. All of us have presumed upon his mercy. All of us have cheapened the blood of his sacrifice with our actions and our attitudes and our words. All of us. We are Judas. And yet, knowing the betrayal that you would bring, Jesus loves you anyways. That's the reckless nature of the love that we just sang about a few minutes ago. He continues to pursue us. He continues to come after us. He knows you're going to betray him in word and deed. He knows that you're going to trample on his death. He knows that you're going to cheapen his blood. He knows that and he loves you anyways. And you push him away and you betray him and you act in a way during the week that you won't act on a Sunday morning or you won't act on small group or you'll watch things that you're not supposed to watch. You'll take in things that you're not supposed to take in. You'll foster attitudes that you know he doesn't love and that he doesn't approve of. But he died for those anyways. He knew that you were going to betray him over and over and over again and he died for you anyways. He went anyways. He washed your feet anyways. He loved you anyways. That's how Jesus loves. So when Jesus says, go and love as I have loved you, that's what he means. Go love other people like I love Judas. It's not fair. They're going to hurt you. Okay, that's how I loved. They're not going to reciprocate. You're going to feel foolish. Okay. That's how I loved. It's going to cost something from me that I'm not going to get back. Okay. That's how I loved. That love is so powerful and profound that loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. Loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. We just spent two weeks on abiding in Christ. Two weeks on what it means to abide in him. If we are not abiding in Christ, there is no possible way we can love like Jesus loved. And what's interesting is the promise of abiding is abide in me and I in you and you will bear much fruit. What's the fruit of abiding in Christ? This kind of love. Sacrificial, reckless love that overcomes betrayal and humanity and hardship. This is the fruit of abiding in Christ. And here's what's remarkable about this fruit. Here's, not only does loving others as Christ loved us keep us in line with all the commandments, not only does it keep us attached to him and abiding in him because it's the only possible way to love like that, but it also becomes our defining marker. This is the third remarkable statement that we find in these verses. The third one, underline this. By this, everyone will know you are my disciples. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples. Love, we are told, church, is to be our defining marker to the world. And it's interesting to me how off the mark we can get. I remember one time when I missed the mark really, really badly. I was 15 years old, and we were hosting at our house Thanksgiving or Christmas for my mom's family that year. And we were a teetotaling house. No alcohol at all, ever. It was demon's liquor. And my aunt came over with, at the time, her roommate, Molly. And they brought with them a bottle of wine. And we didn't have a corkscrew in the house. We didn't have a wine opener. And so my mom said, son, will you go next door and borrow a corkscrew from our neighbor? And I, in my misguided 15-year-old piety, said, absolutely not. We don't drink alcohol in this house. And we're not starting today. Not doing it. God help my parents. I must have been impossible. Don't worry. Have you met Lily? I've got it coming. I'm going to walk the path. I refused to go. And my mom, I think probably a little misguidedly proud of me then, and now she's as ashamed of this as I am, didn't make me. I just said, well, looks like we're not doing it today, Indiana. And they put their bottle of wine back in the car. Now, Deanna and Molly had walked away from the church at that point. And as I reflect back on my actions that day, I'm so ashamed that I thought that the defining marker for my faith that day needed to be my piety and my holiness and the rules that I followed and the things that I did and didn't do. And we get really misguided at church that the best Christians are the ones who have the best grasp on their behavior, who do the things they're supposed to do and don't do the things they're not supposed to do, and the best knowledge of Scripture. We tend to judge someone's faith not by how well they love, which is what Jesus says the defining marker should be, but we judge the faith of others by how well they've reined in their behavior and how much they've learned about scripture. And don't get me wrong, those things are important. God is a God of holiness. He does want us to press towards piety, but the press towards piety, the press towards holiness, the press towards righteousness, the press towards having a guilt-free conscience should be in a desire to love as Jesus loved, not in a desire to prove ourselves and our holiness to others. And what kind of damage, what message did it send to my aunt that day? Rejection? Judgment? Holier than thou? It was a singularly unloving act to not just go get the stupid corkscrew. And instead, they felt judged. There's no way my actions turned them on to the church. There's no possible way I did that and they're like, you know what? I see Jesus in that boy. I want to know that Jesus because I want to start telling other people where they're screwing up. But isn't that historically what we look to to define spirituality. When Jesus says, the defining marker of your faith, how I want the world to know you, is by your love for other people. It ought to be our defining characteristic. And I'm not going to wade too deeply into these waters this morning because I don't have time and it's messy. But I would simply ask you, as you think about where church sits in the culture of America, is that our defining characteristic? Is that what the outside world would say that we are known for? It is, however, one of the things I am proud of grace for. Because I do think there are spots and moments where we do this really, really well. And what we see when we love really well is that love is actually the greatest apologetic. Love is the most compelling argument for Christ, especially in a culture saturated with church. If there's somebody in your neighborhood, if there's somebody you work with, if there's a friend that you have on your tennis team or wherever you go, and they don't go to church, let me tell you something. It's not because they haven't heard about it. It's not because they don't know. It's not because they haven't heard the name of Jesus and they're just waiting to be told. They know. And let me tell you something. The people that you know who don't go to church, can I just tell you, they have a reason. And can I tell you this? It's probably a good one. So the greatest apologetic to a culture of people who have on purpose turned away from the church is to love them well. It's more convincing than any book. It's more convincing than A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, although that's a great one. It's more convincing than any argument or TV show. Showing them the love of Christ compels them towards Christ. I think this is the way I put it. Loving someone in the name of Jesus compels them towards Jesus. Loving someone in the name of Christ like Christ loves compels them towards Christ. And here's why I think it can be so effective and so contagious. I heard this story a couple of weeks ago, and I was so proud when I heard it. In the fall, we had the Addis Jamari, one of our great ministry partners doing great work with the orphans in Ethiopia, had an event last fall. And whenever there's an AJ event, Addis Jamari, it's like 75% grace people, at least, right? And so one of our partners invited some friends that they used to work with to come to the event and see what AJ does. And the friends that they invited are a part of a church in the kind of way that there's a church where you're on their membership role, which is, and you have to remove your letter and stuff like that, which is, I don't understand. I don't understand it. I got a, germane to nothing, I got a letter early on in my tenure here that someone who I had never met was requesting removal of their letter from this church to this other church down the road. And I just wrote them back and I was like, consider all letters moved, ever. You don't have to ever ask me this again. I don't know what this means. So some churches had their letter for like 20 years, but they don't really go. I haven't been since their kids went around. They're kind of cold to church. But they came to this AJ event. And after spending an evening around grace people, they pulled my friend aside and they said, there's something different here. You guys actually like, you like each other. You guys see, everyone knows everyone's name. You seem to get along. This is not like churches we've been around. We want to find out more about your church. So they did. They went to dinner. They told them a little bit more. And I've gotten to spend some time around them. And they say that they're wanting to start coming. They may be watching online. Hey. But it wasn't an argument. It wasn't an invitation. It wasn't a book. It wasn't a moment of conviction. It was an exposure to a group of people who want to connect people to Jesus and connect people to people. It was an exposure to the love and the community shared in the church. And they said, I want to be a part of that. That is a compelling love. The challenge, church, is not simply to love each other that way, but to love everyone that way and to be obedient to this new command. Can you imagine with me the power and efficacy of a church that is zealous about loving as Christ loves. Can you imagine how contagious that faith would be? Can you imagine how exuberant our worship would be every Sunday? Can you imagine how much better I'm going to have to step it up to preach to you because you've been preaching to yourself the love of Christ every day and loving everybody in your neighborhood? Can you imagine the power of a group of people who comes together and takes seriously this new command that Jesus gives us and says, you know what? Everything else is fine. It'll take care of itself. I'm going to focus on the loving. And we took steps to abide in Christ, to walk with him, and we let him produce the fruit in our lives, which is this love. And we love everybody the way that Jesus loves Judas and loves us. Can you imagine what God could do with a church of people like that? I asked you earlier, what do you think the Big C Church is known for? What's our defining characteristic? And I don't know where you went and I don't know what you thought, but here's what I do know. We don't have any say over what other churches do, nor should we, by the way. We barely deserve say here, I question it. But we have say over who we are and over what we do. And wouldn't it be amazing if when people heard the name Grace Raleigh in our community, if the first thing they thought was, that church loves well. What if that were our defining characteristic? Let's make it so, Grace. Let's be Christians who love well. Let's be Christians who make that our identifying trait over and above all the other elements of our faith. And let's watch what God can do with a church of people who love like him. Let's pray. Father, we love you because you love us. We can never hope to love like you without you. We thank you for your reckless, sacrificial love. For watching your son suffer and die the way that he did. So that you could claim souls to heaven that would betray you and trample on you over and over again on our way there. God, if nothing else, would we sit humbly and graciously in the reality of your love for us? And as we do that, Father, would it please compel us to go love others in your name? We ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Hi, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Before I dive into the sermon, a couple things about worship. First of all, Carly B. killed it on that last song. That was great. Yeah, I don't know where she is, but good job, Carly. Her last name is Buchanan, so we call her Carly B. around here. And then the second thing, I just want to let you in on something. And I feel like this is an important matter to bring to the church. Aaron's back there. He knows what I'm about to talk about. I don't know if you noticed during the second song that Carly and Aaron were smiling and looking at me, and I was laughing. Here's why, and I feel like we should all weigh in on this as partners. If you're not from the South, I don't care what you think about this. One of my favorite things about hymns, I'm just totally, this has nothing to do with anything. I'm just telling you a story. One of my favorite things about hymns is how liberal the writers are with apostrophes. In hymns, they'll apostrophe anything, right? And one of my favorite ones is victory. Not victory like an obnoxious carpetbagger. Victory like a southerner. You know what I'm saying? Like victory. It's best in Victory in Jesus, that old hymn. So anyways, last week we're singing that song that we sang, the second one. What's that called, Aaron? I'm not telling. And there's victory in there. There's the word victory in there, but you sing it victory. You know, you sing it like that, but it's not apostrophe. Now it's bummed out. And then like two slides down, we apostrophed flowers, the E in flowers. How do you even, flowers, how do you even say that? That's not a thing. How are we going to apostrophe flowers and not victory? So it just made me mad. And I told Aaron and Carly last week, and I didn't know we were singing it this week. So it comes up and they're both giggling at me and I'm grinning at them. Anyways, now you know too, and we can together peer pressure him to fix the lyrics. So there is an apostrophe and victory as the Lord intended. Okay, let's get started. Actually, these words don't mean anything to you because I know that I'm the boy that cries excited. I know that. I'm excited about everything that I get to preach. I know that I say that to you. I'm really excited about this. This is a sermon that I knew I was going to preach as soon as we planned the series. I knew that we would arrive at this passage, and I've been very much looking forward to diving into it with you. So if you have a Bible with you, and I hope you do, go ahead and turn it to John chapter 13. This is the beginning of the Upper Room Discourse. You'll remember that this is a series called Final Thoughts. These are the final things that Jesus shared with the disciples before he was arrested and tried and crucified. And so it's just Jesus and the disciples in the upper room, and he has some final thoughts for them, and they're in John chapters 13 through 17. So the back half of John chapter 13, after washing their feet, Jesus starts to share with them. And if you look at verses 34 and 35, I'm not sure that you could definitively say what the most important and profound words of Christ are in his whole life. I don't know that there would be an agreement among scholars or pastors or believers as to what are the most important, most profound words Jesus ever spoke. But I know that you couldn't have that conversation without talking about what we find in those verses. I believe that what Jesus says here is so profound and powerful that hyperbole is lost on the import of these verses. So I want to look at them and read them with you. If you're a believer, I hope these are well-trodden verses for you. I hope you already almost know them before I even say them. And I hope, if you have your Bible with you, that you'll grab a pen and that you'll underline these verses. And that you'll highlight some of the phrases. We're going to spend the whole morning in these two verses, and we're going to look at three profound statements that Jesus makes in this compact section of text. And I hope that you'll take a pen and you'll underline and you'll mark. I hope that you'll make notes for yourself in your Bible. I've learned from a young age that if you show me a Bible that's falling apart, then I'll show you a person who isn't. So let's beat up our Bibles. Let's mark in them. Let's scratch in them. And let's note this passage together. John chapter 13, verses 34 and 35. This is Jesus speaking. A new command I give you. Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. That's a well-worn passage. This is a passage we ought to be familiar with. This is a passage of which the profundity cannot be overstated. It's so profound and stuck with the disciples so much in their memory that 30 years later, when two people who were in the room, Peter and John, when they write their epistles, when they write their letters to the church to be spread throughout the church and read throughout the church, they both included this maxim in their instructions, in their brief instructions to the church. In 1 Peter 4, 8, Peter says, above all else, love one another dearly. After everything's said and done, love one another dearly. John, in his three letters, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John, over and over and over again, if you say you believe in God and you do not love your brother, then you are a liar and the truth is not in you. He brings it back to love, back to love, back to love. Even Paul, who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament, was not in this room, did not hear this teaching personally, but heard it proclaimed by the disciples after him. When Paul writes his letter to Corinth, he ends it with that famous love passage. And he says, now after everything is said and done, in eternity, these three things remain, faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these? Love. We cannot overstate the importance, the efficacy, and the power of love. And this is what Jesus commands us here. It's how he opens his closing remarks. And so if it's so powerful and effective that everyone who's ever followed Jesus has reminded the people that they lead of this command, then we ought to look at the command and examine it and pick it apart and seek to understand it. And, I think, let the power of it wash over us. So the first portion of the text I want to point you to, a profound statement, is when he says this, a new command I give you. A new command I give you. Underline that in your Bible. Here's why this is profound. We know, because we have the benefit of hindsight, that Jesus is God. We understand the deity of Christ. They did not. They did not yet understand the deity of Christ. Certainly not the way that we do. You remember that when they're on the Sea of Galilee and Jesus is sleeping in the hull of the ship and the wind and the waves are crashing, that they go down and they wake Jesus up. And he says, peace be still. And the storm calms. And he goes back to sleep, a little bit annoyed that his nap got interrupted. And the disciples looked at each other. And they said, it's in the text. And they said, who is this that even the wind and the waves would obey him? They still do not understand the deity of Christ. In this moment, they understand loosely the deity of Christ, but not like we do. And so when Jesus says this new command I give you, he is placing himself solidly in the Trinity. He is placing himself as God because a new command has not been given for 4,000 years. 4,000 years ago, Moses walked down the mountain with two tablets of stone with a lot more than 10 commandments written on them. If you read the text, you find it was the 10, but then they were covered front and back. There's 630 some odd laws in the Old Testament based on Mosaic law. Nobody in Israel since then had given a new commandment because nobody had the authority to do it. Moses gave the commandments from God himself. God himself wrote on those tablets and gave them to Moses, and no one had questioned it since then. No one gives new commandments. That's not a thing that you can do unless you're God. So when Jesus says this, he's claiming that he is God. And I don't know how to help us understand how radical what he's doing is, but the only thing I can equate it to is our Bill of Rights, our Constitution. No citizen can just decide, I'm going to add an amendment. I hereby declare, and then add an amendment. As a matter of fact, we'll test this out. I'd like to add one right now. I hereby declare as an amendment to the United States Constitution that daylight savings time is stupid and abolished. I woke up an hour and a half late this morning. I should have only been a half hour late. But daylight savings time. It's stupid. And likes it. And nobody needs it. We're long since agrarian. All right. Nebraska can keep it if they want it. We're squared away. Thanks. But that doesn't do anything. I don't just get to add amendments willy-nilly. There's a whole process. If we can't add amendments to a document that some guys wrote 200 years ago, you definitely can't start adding commandments that God wrote 4,000 years ago. But Jesus does. And he says it's a new one. And this commandment, one of the things that makes it so radical, is that this commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. This commandment serves as a summary for all the commandments. It's not that Jesus is saying, you don't have to worry about any of the stuff that you've been commanded previously. Go be adulterers. Go murder people. Knock yourselves out as long as you're loving people on the way. You're good. That's not the idea. We get a glimpse of the idea earlier in Christ's life when someone says, what's the greatest commandment? And the response is, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the greatest commandments with promise. On these hang the law and the prophets, meaning the entire Old Testament. And so what Jesus says in that statement is, basically, if you'll focus on loving God and loving others, the commandments will take care of themselves. It's not that you won't be walking in obedience or you'll be walking in disobedience to them. It's that you will automatically obey them by default. And so Jesus is being even more succinct here with this new commandment to love others as I have loved you and saying, as a matter of fact, just love others as I have loved you. Because if you're doing that, if you are loving the people in your life as Jesus loves us, you will by default be loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Because you cannot love as Jesus loved if you're not fueled by Jesus. You will by default. you're not going to have an affair. You're not going to go around murdering. You're not going to steal. You're not going to say unkind words. You're going to outdo one another in hospitality. You're going to be generous. You're going to be humble. You're not going to be greedy if we simply love other people as Christ loved us. It's the command that summarizes all the other commands, which makes it such an impactful command. And here's why it takes walking with Jesus to love like Jesus. Because Jesus loved in superhuman ways. That's the second big one I want you to underline. Let me just say it real quick. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. That's the new command. Now here's why this is so radical. Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever let someone into your life? Made yourself vulnerable to them? Given them the power to hurt you? And they have? Which, by the way, I think is vitally important to live vulnerable lives and have people invited into our life who do have the power and the capacity to hurt us because they know us that well and we love them that much. That's okay. That's a good thing. But have you ever done that with somebody who then betrayed you? Who used that exposure to hurt you? I know I've not experienced terrible betrayal, but I've tasted it. I've let people in, shared things, been vulnerable with them, and then that ended up getting used against me. That ended up getting turned towards me. That ended up with them judging me and not loving me. And that's hard. I shared years ago about when I did a sermon on forgiveness about a dear friend of mine whose husband had been having multiple affairs and it all blew up in their face one day. She had five kids under the age of 10. That's betrayal. I've never experienced betrayal like that. But I've tasted what it is to let someone in and then watch them hurt me. And if you've experienced betrayal too, let me ask you a question. If you could go back to when that person who hurt you entered into your life, and there was some sort of divine whisper that came to you and said, hey, just so you know, if you let this person in, they will hurt you. They are going to betray you. They're going to let you down and betray your confidence. If you somehow knew that at the very beginning of the relationship where they entered your life, if you knew it, how differently would you treat them? How much would you let them in? Would you let them in at all? When I think of the people who've hurt me, I go back to those places. If you were to ask me that question, hey, if you knew at the beginning that they were going to hurt you if you let them in, what would you do? I wouldn't be their friend. I wouldn't let them in. If my life forced me to be around them, I would be very guarded. I would have treated them completely differently. How would you treat the people in your life who have hurt you if you knew at the onset that they were going to do that? Would you have loved them differently? Would you have not let them in? Would that relationship have looked different? Something occurred to me as I was thinking through this passage. Immediately before Jesus starts this teaching, do you know what happened? He washed the feet of the disciples. And then he said, one of you is going to betray me. And then it comes that it was Judas. And he looked at Judas and he says one of the coolest lines in the Bible, what you're about to do, go and do it quickly. And Judas goes to betray him. Don't miss this. Jesus knew. He knew when he invited him in. When he called Judas to be his disciple. He knew. He knew he was going to get betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. He knew that. He knew who Jesus was when he walked up to him and he tapped his shoulder and he said, I want to invite you into my life for three years. I want you to spend every day with me. And I know what you're going to do at the end of those three years and you don't even know it yet. Jesus knew, man. And here's what's amazing. Nobody else did. We have no indication whatsoever from the text that Jesus treated Judas any differently than any of the other disciples. When they're sitting around the table, and Jesus says, one of you is going to betray me, nobody went, it's Judas, isn't it? I knew. I could tell. Nobody did that. Because Jesus treated them all the same. You understand that? He loved them all the same. For three years, he loved Judas with the same consistency and compassion and tenderness that he loved John. Polar opposite of a disciple. Is that not remarkable? How could you do that? How could you walk every day with someone who was going to betray you to be killed? Not just hurt your feelings like a little sissy, but betray you to be killed. Was gonna be the one who kissed you on the cheek to identify you to the guard of the high priest so that they could arrest you and beat you and kill you. And you love them the exact same as all their peers. Right before Jesus was betrayed, he washed Judas' feet. His grimy, sandaled, third world feet. So that he could go collect his betrayal money with clean toes. He had the freshly minted, humble love of Christ on his feet when he went to cash his check. And that's how Jesus loves Judas. Now here's what's important. You are Judas. I am Judas. We have, all of us, betrayed Christ in word and thought and deed. All of us have trampled on the grace of Christ. All of us have presumed upon his mercy. All of us have cheapened the blood of his sacrifice with our actions and our attitudes and our words. All of us. We are Judas. And yet, knowing the betrayal that you would bring, Jesus loves you anyways. That's the reckless nature of the love that we just sang about a few minutes ago. He continues to pursue us. He continues to come after us. He knows you're going to betray him in word and deed. He knows that you're going to trample on his death. He knows that you're going to cheapen his blood. He knows that and he loves you anyways. And you push him away and you betray him and you act in a way during the week that you won't act on a Sunday morning or you won't act on small group or you'll watch things that you're not supposed to watch. You'll take in things that you're not supposed to take in. You'll foster attitudes that you know he doesn't love and that he doesn't approve of. But he died for those anyways. He knew that you were going to betray him over and over and over again and he died for you anyways. He went anyways. He washed your feet anyways. He loved you anyways. That's how Jesus loves. So when Jesus says, go and love as I have loved you, that's what he means. Go love other people like I love Judas. It's not fair. They're going to hurt you. Okay, that's how I loved. They're not going to reciprocate. You're going to feel foolish. Okay. That's how I loved. It's going to cost something from me that I'm not going to get back. Okay. That's how I loved. That love is so powerful and profound that loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. Loving like Jesus is only made possible by walking with Jesus. We just spent two weeks on abiding in Christ. Two weeks on what it means to abide in him. If we are not abiding in Christ, there is no possible way we can love like Jesus loved. And what's interesting is the promise of abiding is abide in me and I in you and you will bear much fruit. What's the fruit of abiding in Christ? This kind of love. Sacrificial, reckless love that overcomes betrayal and humanity and hardship. This is the fruit of abiding in Christ. And here's what's remarkable about this fruit. Here's, not only does loving others as Christ loved us keep us in line with all the commandments, not only does it keep us attached to him and abiding in him because it's the only possible way to love like that, but it also becomes our defining marker. This is the third remarkable statement that we find in these verses. The third one, underline this. By this, everyone will know you are my disciples. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples. Love, we are told, church, is to be our defining marker to the world. And it's interesting to me how off the mark we can get. I remember one time when I missed the mark really, really badly. I was 15 years old, and we were hosting at our house Thanksgiving or Christmas for my mom's family that year. And we were a teetotaling house. No alcohol at all, ever. It was demon's liquor. And my aunt came over with, at the time, her roommate, Molly. And they brought with them a bottle of wine. And we didn't have a corkscrew in the house. We didn't have a wine opener. And so my mom said, son, will you go next door and borrow a corkscrew from our neighbor? And I, in my misguided 15-year-old piety, said, absolutely not. We don't drink alcohol in this house. And we're not starting today. Not doing it. God help my parents. I must have been impossible. Don't worry. Have you met Lily? I've got it coming. I'm going to walk the path. I refused to go. And my mom, I think probably a little misguidedly proud of me then, and now she's as ashamed of this as I am, didn't make me. I just said, well, looks like we're not doing it today, Indiana. And they put their bottle of wine back in the car. Now, Deanna and Molly had walked away from the church at that point. And as I reflect back on my actions that day, I'm so ashamed that I thought that the defining marker for my faith that day needed to be my piety and my holiness and the rules that I followed and the things that I did and didn't do. And we get really misguided at church that the best Christians are the ones who have the best grasp on their behavior, who do the things they're supposed to do and don't do the things they're not supposed to do, and the best knowledge of Scripture. We tend to judge someone's faith not by how well they love, which is what Jesus says the defining marker should be, but we judge the faith of others by how well they've reined in their behavior and how much they've learned about scripture. And don't get me wrong, those things are important. God is a God of holiness. He does want us to press towards piety, but the press towards piety, the press towards holiness, the press towards righteousness, the press towards having a guilt-free conscience should be in a desire to love as Jesus loved, not in a desire to prove ourselves and our holiness to others. And what kind of damage, what message did it send to my aunt that day? Rejection? Judgment? Holier than thou? It was a singularly unloving act to not just go get the stupid corkscrew. And instead, they felt judged. There's no way my actions turned them on to the church. There's no possible way I did that and they're like, you know what? I see Jesus in that boy. I want to know that Jesus because I want to start telling other people where they're screwing up. But isn't that historically what we look to to define spirituality. When Jesus says, the defining marker of your faith, how I want the world to know you, is by your love for other people. It ought to be our defining characteristic. And I'm not going to wade too deeply into these waters this morning because I don't have time and it's messy. But I would simply ask you, as you think about where church sits in the culture of America, is that our defining characteristic? Is that what the outside world would say that we are known for? It is, however, one of the things I am proud of grace for. Because I do think there are spots and moments where we do this really, really well. And what we see when we love really well is that love is actually the greatest apologetic. Love is the most compelling argument for Christ, especially in a culture saturated with church. If there's somebody in your neighborhood, if there's somebody you work with, if there's a friend that you have on your tennis team or wherever you go, and they don't go to church, let me tell you something. It's not because they haven't heard about it. It's not because they don't know. It's not because they haven't heard the name of Jesus and they're just waiting to be told. They know. And let me tell you something. The people that you know who don't go to church, can I just tell you, they have a reason. And can I tell you this? It's probably a good one. So the greatest apologetic to a culture of people who have on purpose turned away from the church is to love them well. It's more convincing than any book. It's more convincing than A Case for Faith by Lee Strobel, although that's a great one. It's more convincing than any argument or TV show. Showing them the love of Christ compels them towards Christ. I think this is the way I put it. Loving someone in the name of Jesus compels them towards Jesus. Loving someone in the name of Christ like Christ loves compels them towards Christ. And here's why I think it can be so effective and so contagious. I heard this story a couple of weeks ago, and I was so proud when I heard it. In the fall, we had the Addis Jamari, one of our great ministry partners doing great work with the orphans in Ethiopia, had an event last fall. And whenever there's an AJ event, Addis Jamari, it's like 75% grace people, at least, right? And so one of our partners invited some friends that they used to work with to come to the event and see what AJ does. And the friends that they invited are a part of a church in the kind of way that there's a church where you're on their membership role, which is, and you have to remove your letter and stuff like that, which is, I don't understand. I don't understand it. I got a, germane to nothing, I got a letter early on in my tenure here that someone who I had never met was requesting removal of their letter from this church to this other church down the road. And I just wrote them back and I was like, consider all letters moved, ever. You don't have to ever ask me this again. I don't know what this means. So some churches had their letter for like 20 years, but they don't really go. I haven't been since their kids went around. They're kind of cold to church. But they came to this AJ event. And after spending an evening around grace people, they pulled my friend aside and they said, there's something different here. You guys actually like, you like each other. You guys see, everyone knows everyone's name. You seem to get along. This is not like churches we've been around. We want to find out more about your church. So they did. They went to dinner. They told them a little bit more. And I've gotten to spend some time around them. And they say that they're wanting to start coming. They may be watching online. Hey. But it wasn't an argument. It wasn't an invitation. It wasn't a book. It wasn't a moment of conviction. It was an exposure to a group of people who want to connect people to Jesus and connect people to people. It was an exposure to the love and the community shared in the church. And they said, I want to be a part of that. That is a compelling love. The challenge, church, is not simply to love each other that way, but to love everyone that way and to be obedient to this new command. Can you imagine with me the power and efficacy of a church that is zealous about loving as Christ loves. Can you imagine how contagious that faith would be? Can you imagine how exuberant our worship would be every Sunday? Can you imagine how much better I'm going to have to step it up to preach to you because you've been preaching to yourself the love of Christ every day and loving everybody in your neighborhood? Can you imagine the power of a group of people who comes together and takes seriously this new command that Jesus gives us and says, you know what? Everything else is fine. It'll take care of itself. I'm going to focus on the loving. And we took steps to abide in Christ, to walk with him, and we let him produce the fruit in our lives, which is this love. And we love everybody the way that Jesus loves Judas and loves us. Can you imagine what God could do with a church of people like that? I asked you earlier, what do you think the Big C Church is known for? What's our defining characteristic? And I don't know where you went and I don't know what you thought, but here's what I do know. We don't have any say over what other churches do, nor should we, by the way. We barely deserve say here, I question it. But we have say over who we are and over what we do. And wouldn't it be amazing if when people heard the name Grace Raleigh in our community, if the first thing they thought was, that church loves well. What if that were our defining characteristic? Let's make it so, Grace. Let's be Christians who love well. Let's be Christians who make that our identifying trait over and above all the other elements of our faith. And let's watch what God can do with a church of people who love like him. Let's pray. Father, we love you because you love us. We can never hope to love like you without you. We thank you for your reckless, sacrificial love. For watching your son suffer and die the way that he did. So that you could claim souls to heaven that would betray you and trample on you over and over again on our way there. God, if nothing else, would we sit humbly and graciously in the reality of your love for us? And as we do that, Father, would it please compel us to go love others in your name? We ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Well, good morning, Grace. I am Erin. I get the joy and privilege of being one of the pastors here, and I'm excited to be here this morning. And I'm very grateful that you all chose to join us this morning as well, whether it's here in person, whether you're joining us online, or maybe catching up later this week. Thanks for taking just a little bit of time out of your morning to come hang out with us. And before I jump in to where we're headed this morning, I felt like I needed to make a confession just to be completely transparent with y'all. And that is, is that as Nate mentioned up here, Exodus 18 is about leadership. And I don't feel at all qualified to stand up here and talk to y'all about leadership. None. Zero. And I know that is a fantastic way to earn your trust this morning. But yeah, so as I sat down and I started to read over this chapter, and you will see it later today, it's blaringly obvious that the chapter is very much about leadership. And I, in my stubborn existence, said, no, I'm not preaching on leadership. So let's see what else, Lord, that you can teach me that I could possibly bring on Sunday morning. And so I did, and I went through it, and I found a couple things. And then I had some conversations with some of my trusty advisors, namely Aaron, Nate, and my sweet husband, Harris. And all three of those conversations, each one of them said, sure, those are great things that you could talk about, but whatever you do, don't discount leadership as something that you may actually have something about which to say. And I was like, really? Because here now we stand in this place where, as Nate always says, if you start to hear things in stereo, you need to pay attention. And so, all right, Lord, let's do this. So I went back to Exodus 18 and I sat down with it and I read over it again and I'm like, okay, so how am I supposed to approach this? And so like, here we go. Like every modern day person does. I Googled Exodus 18 just to be curious, right? What do all these other people say about leadership? And so what hit me in this, this blaring, I don't know. It was just, it was so very obvious is all of these take charge individuals that had really, really strong opinions about what leadership looks like and I know that those of you all that know me would not exactly say that take charge type of leadership is how you would describe me I'm not Nate ish and so let me let me give you a kind of an example a little bit of an example about the difference between my leadership style, possibly, and Nate's leadership style. When Nate first got here, post-Summer Extreme, I had a meeting with the leadership team to kind of debrief all that we had been doing. And he was like, can I sit in? I'd really like to kind of just hear what you guys have to say. And I may have a question or two. Come on, we'd love to have you. And so he joins our meeting. And I promised you within about 10 minutes, he had taken over the whole meeting. He's standing at the whiteboard. He's got stuff happening. And I just kind of sat there and I let it all happen. But I also knew in my heart that that's not how it had to stay. So the minute the meeting ended and then the very, like the next day I walked in and mind you, remember we hadn't been working together, but a few months and I had to walk in and on his office door. And I'm like, can we have a conversation just, just briefly? And could I ask you to please, sir, never cut my feet out from underneath me in front of my team again? And he just looked at me. He's like, Aaron, I'm so sorry. And he was absolutely leveled in that moment. And he now, we laugh about it now, but he will also tell you that as a brand new senior pastor, that was an amazing lesson in leadership for him. And in turn, it was for me too, because I realized that like, I let him take over the meeting. I let him do it. But I also knew that I had to do something later to kind of figure all of this out and make it right somehow. So maybe now that you've seen the two different styles of leadership that we kind of have, maybe I should change my confession just a little bit. I am going to talk about leadership today and I don't feel qualified to talk to you all about the traditional type of leadership that we think of. One that is take charge, one that is bold, one that is pretty upfront and very directive. But I do feel like I have a different perspective on leadership. And it's a perspective that maybe somebody else in this room might find helpful. Because as you look at me, I'm one that people would look at and go, yeah, she's not exactly what I would call like a natural born leader. And I think that's how a lot of us think of ourselves also. And you know what? That's okay. And I think though Exodus 18 has lots to teach us as we slow down and as we actually look at it and as we peel it out. Because what we're going to see is there is a strategy for strong leadership, but it's a reflection of a servant-hearted posture. And so that's kind of where I landed for our day today is that leadership is not about position. It's not about a title that you hold. But it is all about your posture. And I'm hoping that as we end our day today, what we see is this beautiful picture of a leadership that God has outlined, one that starts low and raises us up. And so just to kind of, before we hit 18, a little background for you where we have been. We are in the middle of our summer series on the life of Moses. And in the journey of the Israelites, we're really only about two to three months out of their captivity from Egypt. I'm not 100% sure, but I felt like we should have been further along in this journey, seeing as we've been hanging, like it's been at least eight weeks, right? We should have been further along, but we're not. And last week, Kyle talked to you all about a battle with the Amalekites. So it was all this great excitement. And then next week, we're actually going to, or two weeks from now, when Nate gets back up, we're going to start to see Moses and God and the Mount Sinai and all that happens with the Ten Commandments. And it gets super exciting and adventurous again. But Exodus 18 is going to possibly feel a little underwhelming. And only because it's quiet. But the part in here that's so cool, as we peel back the layers to see, is that what's happening underneath the surface is God is taking and molding his chosen leader. And he's showing the Israelites as well what it is to be this strong, humble leader who is focused on his posture and not his position. And so if y'all want to follow along, I am going to read certain verses. I am not reading the whole passage. But we are in Exodus 18. We're going to start in very first verse where it says, Jethro was the priest of Midian and the father-in-law of Moses, and he heard of everything that God had done. And so here you have the father-in-law. He's in Midian. He's out here listening and hearing about everything that's been happening to the Israelite people with Moses in the lead. And I promise you what's going on in his head is he really and truly wants to hear it for himself. And he has a great excuse because he has Moses's wife and kids with him. Most likely they were sent there for safekeeping during all the things that have been happening in Egypt, et cetera. And so Jethro's like, you know what? I'm going to take them home and I'm going to get to hear firsthand about everything that's happening because he was just super curious. And so that's what he does is he packs up everybody. He heads that way and he sends ahead a message to Moses that he's coming and he's bringing his wife and his kids and they're coming for a visit. And in verse 7, you see Moses. It states, Moses went out to meet his father-in-law and he bowed down and he kissed him. And they greeted each other and they went into the tent. So remember who Moses is at this moment. Moses has just led a nation out of slavery. Moses has just stood toe to toe with Pharaoh. Moses has gotten to partake in the parting of a sea. You could say that like he's got miracles and momentum on his side at this moment. But when Jethro shows up, he doesn't walk out of his tent in some sort of like kingly robes. He doesn't walk out or have somebody else go out to meet his father-in-law. No, no, no, no. Moses walks out and what does he do? Moses bows and Moses honors. And I bet that's exactly how all of y'all greet your in-laws, right? Just saying. I wish it was, but moving on. So he bows and he honors his father-in-law. And then they go inside this tent and he tells them of all of the things that have happened over the last two to three months. All of the journeys, all of the hardships, all of the things. But then he keeps pointing back to all that God has done and how faithful God has been in the moments and how totally great God has been and that he's shown up exactly when they needed him to. And in turn, you see how Jethro responds to these stories from Moses. Because all of a sudden, you see Jethro rejoicing, you see Jethro worshiping, and you see Jethro offering sacrifice to Moses' God. And it's all because in here somewhere, Moses hasn't asked him to do this, but Moses' testimony has inspired him to do this. The person of Moses and all that he just went through, et cetera, has inspired Jethro's response. That is posture. There's a beautiful example of Jesus and his modeling of posture as well. If you go to John 13, you see Jesus and his disciples in the upper room. It's the last supper. It's that moment before he knows he's headed to the cross. They're having dinner together. Jesus has all the power. Jesus has all the authority. And you could even say, like Moses, he has the miracles and the momentum, right? He has all of those things. He could have demanded something from his disciples. But instead, he stands up. He takes off his tunic. He wraps a towel around his waist. He kneels down and he washes the feet of his disciples. And then he says to them, I have set an example for you that you should do as I have done for you. This is what leadership looks like. This is what leadership, especially in the kingdom of God, looks like. It's not about where you sit at the table, but it is about how you serve at it. Your posture is about your heart's orientation. And that's what God, you know, God is always so focused on our heart. That's where our posture is. It's our orientation toward God and toward our people. It's humility, it's consistency, and it's how we serve both in the seen and in the unseen. And I know right now there are plenty of you in this room that are looking at me and going, I am not a leader. This sermon doesn't apply to me at all. And I'm going to call you out on that. Because here's the thing. If you have kids in your home, you're a leader. If you have kids and they're adults, you're still a leader. If you serve anywhere in your community, you're a leader. You serve at your kids' schools, you are a leader. You serve in grace, any one of our number of positions, you are a leader. And for those in here that are in high school or middle school, you are leaders as well. You play on sports teams or you are dancers or whatever it may be. You are leaders. People are watching. They're looking to see what it is that you're doing. And I will also put one out there and I'm going to put an asterisk by it, and I'll clarify it later. But if you stand and sitting here today or other, if you profess to be a Christ follower, you are a leader. So hold on to that thought. We're going to come back to that one. So let's keep reading. So you've had Moses and Jethro. They've had this meeting. They've now had dinner. And the next morning, Moses gets up. Then verse 13, it states that he took his seat to serve as judge for the people. And they stood around him from morning until evening. So he's dusted himself off. Hey, great. I'm so glad you came to visit, but I got work to do. Because, you know, Moses loves his people. And so Moses is the, and remember I said the Ten Commandments haven't happened yet. And so Moses is the one that right now knows all the things. He knows all of God's rules. He knows all of God's decrees. They have this one-on-one communication happening. The people don't. They're relying on Moses. And so every bit of little squabble or problem that they have, they're taking it to Moses to solve. It is ancient Israel's version of Judge Judy. Can you imagine spending all day hearing all of these people come to you and just gripe about their problems? And so it's got to be exhausting. I know if I was Moses, I would tune out somewhere in like hour two and be like, yeah, and say, okay, and move on. But so Moses's heart though, y'all, he loves his people. He wants to make sure that they have what they need. And he doesn't know any other way to do this at this moment, right? This is what I'm supposed to be doing. And so he's doing that. And Jethro, his father-in-law kind of is standing outside this tent watching all of this happen. And finally, Jethro, his father-in-law, kind of is standing outside this tent watching all of this happen. And finally, Jethro, in verse 17, it states that Jethro basically looks at Moses and he says, hey, what you're doing is not good. Now, he's not attacking Moses' motives here. He knows Moses' heart is in the right place. And he knows why he's doing what he's doing. But he's like, you can't sustain this. You can't keep doing this day in and day out all by yourself. You're going to collapse at some point in time. And so he says to him, what you're doing is not good. And again, we do this too, don't we? Like our good intentions get to us sometimes, but your good intentions can lead to burnout as well. You got the big heart. You can do too much sometimes. And so here Jethro has this moment of courage to be able to say to Moses, like, hey, it's not working. And why I state that about courage is stop and think about this for just a second. First of all, Jethro is his father-in-law. How often do you all listen to your in-laws? But then on top of that, Jethro is an outsider. He's a Midianite. He's not an Israelite. And Moses is who? He's the handpicked leader of the Israelites who are God's chosen people. And it was God that picked Moses for this position. And so like in this moment, Moses had a lot of different ways he could have responded because of his position, right? I have a one-on-one relationship with God. And guess what? From this point, like we've been talking, he's been telling me exactly what it is I need to do. Thank you for the advice, but I don't need to hear it. That's just one way. He could have shut Jethro down. There's just a lot of different ways that because of the position that Moses held, he could have chosen to respond. But because of the fact that Moses leads from his posture, that didn't happen. Instead, he doesn't shut Jethro down. He turns to Jethro and he focuses in and listens to the words that he has to say. The other thing that's probably interesting to note in this moment between Moses and Jethro is that the Israelite camp is watching everything that's happening. Moses is their leader. So their eyes are always on him anyway. But they're learning so much about how to live their lives as well by watching how Moses chooses to lead his. And so when you call yourself a leader, the other thing you do really and truly have to remember is that people are not just listening to your words or to'all, but I distinctly remember this a lot when I had children. You heard the phrase, often more is caught than taught. And that's exactly what we're talking about here. How Moses responded wasn't some place of haughty attitude. It wasn't pride. It wasn't ego. It was none of that which spoke. But what spoke is he humbled himself and he stopped and he turned and he listened directly to what it was that Jethro had to say. And so as Christians, this is the asterisk that I was going to come back to. If we call ourselves Christians, we have a whole lot of eyes that are looking straight at us, whether we want them or not. People are looking to see how you're going to respond to pressure. They're looking to see how you treat others who aren't like you. They're looking to see how you choose to treat others who might be in positions below you. They're looking also to see how you respond and react and how you do things when you think no one is watching. Because I promise you, there's some out there that are wanting to catch us in a trap. And it's just so important for us to remember that our message and our walk need to come in a line together and the thing to remember too is is that holding a position without posture is super fragile there was a recent example of this and most of you all have probably heard about it, but for those that haven't, there was a concert that happened recently, and in this concert there was a kiss cam. And they went around and they were picking up various people in the audience, and the kiss cam, big jumbotron, landed on this very attractive couple standing. Man's got his arms around this woman. Well, when they realized that they were the ones on the jumbotron, the woman like ducks this way. The guy literally dives out of the camera's view and the lead singer of the band makes the comment of, oh goes they're either having an affair or they're just really shy well come to find out because you know social media is so quick on figuring out who these people were come to find out he was the CEO of a company she was the head of people is what they called it so basically human resources and they were but not to each other. And so now their affair has been exposed and is blasted all over from millions of people to see. And needless to say, he is no longer the CEO, and she is no longer in charge of human resources. And so here's the thing, position or yes, position without posture is super fragile and it will crumble. Give it time and give it just a little bit of correction or otherwise it will crumble. But the thing is, is that if you have your posture, then you actually are making space for growth to happen in yourself as well as in those people whom you lead. And so if we go back to Jethro and Moses and where they are in this story, Jethro has given Moses this, you can't do this alone. But then in turn, because Moses is listening, Jethro feels called to say, hey, I have a solution for you though. Let's talk about what this might look like. He tells him to go and select capable godly men. He says to teach them all about God's decrees and to appoint them as officials and then to delegate. It's time to let them have some of this work. And so he's telling him basically it's time for you to build a healthy, sustainable, multiplying community slash let's multiply yourself. This is what it looks like. This is a beautiful picture also of spiritual maturity. Because inside of this moment, you don't ever see fear. You don't ever see insecurity on Moses's part. You don't ever see power grabs either. You just see Moses as a humble leader saying, I like this. Let's put this in place. Let's raise up other leaders. And y'all, that's Jesus's way of doing it too. It's called discipleship. It happens in both places. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a dad who was one of those beautiful natural born leaders. And so I got to watch his life. And I have all kinds of what we used to call Sawyerisms about leadership and management and all the things. But one of the things that my dad did exceptionally well was something that he called successor planning. And so to him, it was his years of management, the people that he managed, part of your performance appraisals always included a section that said, who is it that's taking over your job when either you leave or you get promoted? Who is it that you've identified? And how is it that you're empowering them and equipping them and training them up to be able to get there. It was part of what they did. They checked in on it periodically as well. And so this is that picture of you've got these people reaching down, right? And then he says, you're hoping that there's somebody up here that's targeted you as their successor as well. So now you have another pipeline of somebody who's speaking into your life and who's training you and who's giving you the tools and all that you need and equipping you and empowering you and saying, go, go, go, go. So you've got this beautiful picture of reaching down to help somebody else up. In turn, somebody's doing the same thing for you. It's discipleship in action. In the corporate world, like my dad called it, it was successor planning. But it's the same concept. But it's not about fear and it's not about insecurity. Because see, the thing is with all of us, we like control, right? We like control. We like to hold on to the power. And somewhere in there, we're afraid that if we train and coach and give it away, that it's not going to get done the way we want it to get done. I had an example of this one, and y'all can laugh at me later, but I'm going to tell it anyway. I was talking to my brother, and he was discussing the idea of loading the dishwasher. And you all do not know my brother nor my sister-in-law, but it's an interesting dynamic in their house. And needless to say, Zach knows them. Can you tell? So needless to say, my brother will load the dishwasher. My sister-in-law comes behind him and rearranges it and puts it the way that she feels that it's supposed to be. Okay, can I ask a question? Is it still going to get clean, whether it's loaded my brother's way or my sister-in-law's way? It's still, in the end, the product is, it's still going to come out clean dishes. But somewhere in there, my sister-in-law is not ready to release that control. And so for those of y'all that have kids in the house and you're exhausted, give them a vacuum. Tell them to go vacuum. It's not going to be perfect. It's not going to be pretty. You're not going to have those beautiful lines like you might like, etc. But you've released it. You've let go of the control. And somewhere in there too, those little people are now very excited because they got to help. You're starting to empower them and equip them. Those are the things we have to remember to release the control because the thing is is that leadership that doesn't release can't reproduce. We are all expendable. There's somebody else that could easily take my job. As a matter of fact, Kyle's getting ready to do it. I just thought about that. But hey, there's somebody else that can always take your job. So the thing is, is that you're expendable. So what is it then that, why can't we all just let go of that control? And why can't we speak into the lives of other people around us and raise them up so that they can in turn help us to multiply our influence? So I think, yeah, let's just land this. I got Kyle in my head now, so let's just land this. Here's the thing, though, about leadership. Leadership is something straight up that is not something, I say. It's not something that we're appointed to. It's actually something that we live. As you look at especially leadership in the kingdom of God, it's not about the position, right? It's not something we're appointed to. It's about how we live. It's not about power because there's nothing in the story of Moses and Jethro that shows you any kind of power. It's all about your posture, that of having your heart directly in line with that of Christ and that of the people that you serve. It's not about commanding any kind of attention. The spotlight's not on you, but we're hoping it's about inspiring worship, inspiring a response from those people. And it's not about being the hero, but it's actually about raising up the heroes. So are you in your space where you lead? Things to think about is, are you leading from a place of posture or position? Are you holding on tight? Or are you lifting others up? And are you preaching with your words? Or are you preaching with your life? Because this world, y'all, it doesn't need any more loud leaders. It just needs humble ones. It needs ones that want to be present. It needs ones that have a servant heart. And you know, here at Grace, inside of our teams, we have some amazing leaders. We have lots of people who like to help out, like Aaron and Er in the story last week. We have people who lead from up front. But I will also tell you, we can always use more leaders, especially ones that are more like Moses, who are actually willing to lead like they live. And so maybe that's what God's calling you to today, that you take a step out to step into more of a leadership type role. That tomorrow morning you call Kyle and say, hey, Kyle, guess what? I think it's time for me to go speak into the lives of some of the kids at Grace, whether it's in Grace Kids or Grace Students. But I think it's time for me to do that, to reach down to lift somebody else up. Or maybe it's time that you call me on Monday and say, hey, I think it's time for me to lead a small group. I think it's time. I've got something that I can do. Because I want to be able to speak into the lives of those around us. So think about what your next steps are. Because the thing is, is that to serve in God's kingdom, you don't have to be perfect by no means. You just need to be willing. You just need to be humble. You just need to have your heart aligned with Christ. Because again, influence doesn't come from your position, but it comes from your posture. So today, I hope that as we walk out these doors, we let our lives preach more than our words do. Will you all pray with me? Lord, thank you. Thank you for this beautiful example that you give us of what it is to be a humble, servant-hearted leader. One who looks at you before speaking, one that seeks your heart for your people. We just ask that as we walk out of here today that we remind ourselves of the places where we lead because we do. We all lead someplace. So remind us of those places and give us what we need to be able to begin the process of empowering and equipping and raising up those that are coming behind us. And Lord, thank you for loving us. And we love you. Amen.

Well, good morning, Grace. I am Erin. I get the joy and privilege of being one of the pastors here, and I'm excited to be here this morning. And I'm very grateful that you all chose to join us this morning as well, whether it's here in person, whether you're joining us online, or maybe catching up later this week. Thanks for taking just a little bit of time out of your morning to come hang out with us. And before I jump in to where we're headed this morning, I felt like I needed to make a confession just to be completely transparent with y'all. And that is, is that as Nate mentioned up here, Exodus 18 is about leadership. And I don't feel at all qualified to stand up here and talk to y'all about leadership. None. Zero. And I know that is a fantastic way to earn your trust this morning. But yeah, so as I sat down and I started to read over this chapter, and you will see it later today, it's blaringly obvious that the chapter is very much about leadership. And I, in my stubborn existence, said, no, I'm not preaching on leadership. So let's see what else, Lord, that you can teach me that I could possibly bring on Sunday morning. And so I did, and I went through it, and I found a couple things. And then I had some conversations with some of my trusty advisors, namely Aaron, Nate, and my sweet husband, Harris. And all three of those conversations, each one of them said, sure, those are great things that you could talk about, but whatever you do, don't discount leadership as something that you may actually have something about which to say. And I was like, really? Because here now we stand in this place where, as Nate always says, if you start to hear things in stereo, you need to pay attention. And so, all right, Lord, let's do this. So I went back to Exodus 18 and I sat down with it and I read over it again and I'm like, okay, so how am I supposed to approach this? And so like, here we go. Like every modern day person does. I Googled Exodus 18 just to be curious, right? What do all these other people say about leadership? And so what hit me in this, this blaring, I don't know. It was just, it was so very obvious is all of these take charge individuals that had really, really strong opinions about what leadership looks like and I know that those of you all that know me would not exactly say that take charge type of leadership is how you would describe me I'm not Nate ish and so let me let me give you a kind of an example a little bit of an example about the difference between my leadership style, possibly, and Nate's leadership style. When Nate first got here, post-Summer Extreme, I had a meeting with the leadership team to kind of debrief all that we had been doing. And he was like, can I sit in? I'd really like to kind of just hear what you guys have to say. And I may have a question or two. Come on, we'd love to have you. And so he joins our meeting. And I promised you within about 10 minutes, he had taken over the whole meeting. He's standing at the whiteboard. He's got stuff happening. And I just kind of sat there and I let it all happen. But I also knew in my heart that that's not how it had to stay. So the minute the meeting ended and then the very, like the next day I walked in and mind you, remember we hadn't been working together, but a few months and I had to walk in and on his office door. And I'm like, can we have a conversation just, just briefly? And could I ask you to please, sir, never cut my feet out from underneath me in front of my team again? And he just looked at me. He's like, Aaron, I'm so sorry. And he was absolutely leveled in that moment. And he now, we laugh about it now, but he will also tell you that as a brand new senior pastor, that was an amazing lesson in leadership for him. And in turn, it was for me too, because I realized that like, I let him take over the meeting. I let him do it. But I also knew that I had to do something later to kind of figure all of this out and make it right somehow. So maybe now that you've seen the two different styles of leadership that we kind of have, maybe I should change my confession just a little bit. I am going to talk about leadership today and I don't feel qualified to talk to you all about the traditional type of leadership that we think of. One that is take charge, one that is bold, one that is pretty upfront and very directive. But I do feel like I have a different perspective on leadership. And it's a perspective that maybe somebody else in this room might find helpful. Because as you look at me, I'm one that people would look at and go, yeah, she's not exactly what I would call like a natural born leader. And I think that's how a lot of us think of ourselves also. And you know what? That's okay. And I think though Exodus 18 has lots to teach us as we slow down and as we actually look at it and as we peel it out. Because what we're going to see is there is a strategy for strong leadership, but it's a reflection of a servant-hearted posture. And so that's kind of where I landed for our day today is that leadership is not about position. It's not about a title that you hold. But it is all about your posture. And I'm hoping that as we end our day today, what we see is this beautiful picture of a leadership that God has outlined, one that starts low and raises us up. And so just to kind of, before we hit 18, a little background for you where we have been. We are in the middle of our summer series on the life of Moses. And in the journey of the Israelites, we're really only about two to three months out of their captivity from Egypt. I'm not 100% sure, but I felt like we should have been further along in this journey, seeing as we've been hanging, like it's been at least eight weeks, right? We should have been further along, but we're not. And last week, Kyle talked to you all about a battle with the Amalekites. So it was all this great excitement. And then next week, we're actually going to, or two weeks from now, when Nate gets back up, we're going to start to see Moses and God and the Mount Sinai and all that happens with the Ten Commandments. And it gets super exciting and adventurous again. But Exodus 18 is going to possibly feel a little underwhelming. And only because it's quiet. But the part in here that's so cool, as we peel back the layers to see, is that what's happening underneath the surface is God is taking and molding his chosen leader. And he's showing the Israelites as well what it is to be this strong, humble leader who is focused on his posture and not his position. And so if y'all want to follow along, I am going to read certain verses. I am not reading the whole passage. But we are in Exodus 18. We're going to start in very first verse where it says, Jethro was the priest of Midian and the father-in-law of Moses, and he heard of everything that God had done. And so here you have the father-in-law. He's in Midian. He's out here listening and hearing about everything that's been happening to the Israelite people with Moses in the lead. And I promise you what's going on in his head is he really and truly wants to hear it for himself. And he has a great excuse because he has Moses's wife and kids with him. Most likely they were sent there for safekeeping during all the things that have been happening in Egypt, et cetera. And so Jethro's like, you know what? I'm going to take them home and I'm going to get to hear firsthand about everything that's happening because he was just super curious. And so that's what he does is he packs up everybody. He heads that way and he sends ahead a message to Moses that he's coming and he's bringing his wife and his kids and they're coming for a visit. And in verse 7, you see Moses. It states, Moses went out to meet his father-in-law and he bowed down and he kissed him. And they greeted each other and they went into the tent. So remember who Moses is at this moment. Moses has just led a nation out of slavery. Moses has just stood toe to toe with Pharaoh. Moses has gotten to partake in the parting of a sea. You could say that like he's got miracles and momentum on his side at this moment. But when Jethro shows up, he doesn't walk out of his tent in some sort of like kingly robes. He doesn't walk out or have somebody else go out to meet his father-in-law. No, no, no, no. Moses walks out and what does he do? Moses bows and Moses honors. And I bet that's exactly how all of y'all greet your in-laws, right? Just saying. I wish it was, but moving on. So he bows and he honors his father-in-law. And then they go inside this tent and he tells them of all of the things that have happened over the last two to three months. All of the journeys, all of the hardships, all of the things. But then he keeps pointing back to all that God has done and how faithful God has been in the moments and how totally great God has been and that he's shown up exactly when they needed him to. And in turn, you see how Jethro responds to these stories from Moses. Because all of a sudden, you see Jethro rejoicing, you see Jethro worshiping, and you see Jethro offering sacrifice to Moses' God. And it's all because in here somewhere, Moses hasn't asked him to do this, but Moses' testimony has inspired him to do this. The person of Moses and all that he just went through, et cetera, has inspired Jethro's response. That is posture. There's a beautiful example of Jesus and his modeling of posture as well. If you go to John 13, you see Jesus and his disciples in the upper room. It's the last supper. It's that moment before he knows he's headed to the cross. They're having dinner together. Jesus has all the power. Jesus has all the authority. And you could even say, like Moses, he has the miracles and the momentum, right? He has all of those things. He could have demanded something from his disciples. But instead, he stands up. He takes off his tunic. He wraps a towel around his waist. He kneels down and he washes the feet of his disciples. And then he says to them, I have set an example for you that you should do as I have done for you. This is what leadership looks like. This is what leadership, especially in the kingdom of God, looks like. It's not about where you sit at the table, but it is about how you serve at it. Your posture is about your heart's orientation. And that's what God, you know, God is always so focused on our heart. That's where our posture is. It's our orientation toward God and toward our people. It's humility, it's consistency, and it's how we serve both in the seen and in the unseen. And I know right now there are plenty of you in this room that are looking at me and going, I am not a leader. This sermon doesn't apply to me at all. And I'm going to call you out on that. Because here's the thing. If you have kids in your home, you're a leader. If you have kids and they're adults, you're still a leader. If you serve anywhere in your community, you're a leader. You serve at your kids' schools, you are a leader. You serve in grace, any one of our number of positions, you are a leader. And for those in here that are in high school or middle school, you are leaders as well. You play on sports teams or you are dancers or whatever it may be. You are leaders. People are watching. They're looking to see what it is that you're doing. And I will also put one out there and I'm going to put an asterisk by it, and I'll clarify it later. But if you stand and sitting here today or other, if you profess to be a Christ follower, you are a leader. So hold on to that thought. We're going to come back to that one. So let's keep reading. So you've had Moses and Jethro. They've had this meeting. They've now had dinner. And the next morning, Moses gets up. Then verse 13, it states that he took his seat to serve as judge for the people. And they stood around him from morning until evening. So he's dusted himself off. Hey, great. I'm so glad you came to visit, but I got work to do. Because, you know, Moses loves his people. And so Moses is the, and remember I said the Ten Commandments haven't happened yet. And so Moses is the one that right now knows all the things. He knows all of God's rules. He knows all of God's decrees. They have this one-on-one communication happening. The people don't. They're relying on Moses. And so every bit of little squabble or problem that they have, they're taking it to Moses to solve. It is ancient Israel's version of Judge Judy. Can you imagine spending all day hearing all of these people come to you and just gripe about their problems? And so it's got to be exhausting. I know if I was Moses, I would tune out somewhere in like hour two and be like, yeah, and say, okay, and move on. But so Moses's heart though, y'all, he loves his people. He wants to make sure that they have what they need. And he doesn't know any other way to do this at this moment, right? This is what I'm supposed to be doing. And so he's doing that. And Jethro, his father-in-law kind of is standing outside this tent watching all of this happen. And finally, Jethro, his father-in-law, kind of is standing outside this tent watching all of this happen. And finally, Jethro, in verse 17, it states that Jethro basically looks at Moses and he says, hey, what you're doing is not good. Now, he's not attacking Moses' motives here. He knows Moses' heart is in the right place. And he knows why he's doing what he's doing. But he's like, you can't sustain this. You can't keep doing this day in and day out all by yourself. You're going to collapse at some point in time. And so he says to him, what you're doing is not good. And again, we do this too, don't we? Like our good intentions get to us sometimes, but your good intentions can lead to burnout as well. You got the big heart. You can do too much sometimes. And so here Jethro has this moment of courage to be able to say to Moses, like, hey, it's not working. And why I state that about courage is stop and think about this for just a second. First of all, Jethro is his father-in-law. How often do you all listen to your in-laws? But then on top of that, Jethro is an outsider. He's a Midianite. He's not an Israelite. And Moses is who? He's the handpicked leader of the Israelites who are God's chosen people. And it was God that picked Moses for this position. And so like in this moment, Moses had a lot of different ways he could have responded because of his position, right? I have a one-on-one relationship with God. And guess what? From this point, like we've been talking, he's been telling me exactly what it is I need to do. Thank you for the advice, but I don't need to hear it. That's just one way. He could have shut Jethro down. There's just a lot of different ways that because of the position that Moses held, he could have chosen to respond. But because of the fact that Moses leads from his posture, that didn't happen. Instead, he doesn't shut Jethro down. He turns to Jethro and he focuses in and listens to the words that he has to say. The other thing that's probably interesting to note in this moment between Moses and Jethro is that the Israelite camp is watching everything that's happening. Moses is their leader. So their eyes are always on him anyway. But they're learning so much about how to live their lives as well by watching how Moses chooses to lead his. And so when you call yourself a leader, the other thing you do really and truly have to remember is that people are not just listening to your words or to'all, but I distinctly remember this a lot when I had children. You heard the phrase, often more is caught than taught. And that's exactly what we're talking about here. How Moses responded wasn't some place of haughty attitude. It wasn't pride. It wasn't ego. It was none of that which spoke. But what spoke is he humbled himself and he stopped and he turned and he listened directly to what it was that Jethro had to say. And so as Christians, this is the asterisk that I was going to come back to. If we call ourselves Christians, we have a whole lot of eyes that are looking straight at us, whether we want them or not. People are looking to see how you're going to respond to pressure. They're looking to see how you treat others who aren't like you. They're looking to see how you choose to treat others who might be in positions below you. They're looking also to see how you respond and react and how you do things when you think no one is watching. Because I promise you, there's some out there that are wanting to catch us in a trap. And it's just so important for us to remember that our message and our walk need to come in a line together and the thing to remember too is is that holding a position without posture is super fragile there was a recent example of this and most of you all have probably heard about it, but for those that haven't, there was a concert that happened recently, and in this concert there was a kiss cam. And they went around and they were picking up various people in the audience, and the kiss cam, big jumbotron, landed on this very attractive couple standing. Man's got his arms around this woman. Well, when they realized that they were the ones on the jumbotron, the woman like ducks this way. The guy literally dives out of the camera's view and the lead singer of the band makes the comment of, oh goes they're either having an affair or they're just really shy well come to find out because you know social media is so quick on figuring out who these people were come to find out he was the CEO of a company she was the head of people is what they called it so basically human resources and they were but not to each other. And so now their affair has been exposed and is blasted all over from millions of people to see. And needless to say, he is no longer the CEO, and she is no longer in charge of human resources. And so here's the thing, position or yes, position without posture is super fragile and it will crumble. Give it time and give it just a little bit of correction or otherwise it will crumble. But the thing is, is that if you have your posture, then you actually are making space for growth to happen in yourself as well as in those people whom you lead. And so if we go back to Jethro and Moses and where they are in this story, Jethro has given Moses this, you can't do this alone. But then in turn, because Moses is listening, Jethro feels called to say, hey, I have a solution for you though. Let's talk about what this might look like. He tells him to go and select capable godly men. He says to teach them all about God's decrees and to appoint them as officials and then to delegate. It's time to let them have some of this work. And so he's telling him basically it's time for you to build a healthy, sustainable, multiplying community slash let's multiply yourself. This is what it looks like. This is a beautiful picture also of spiritual maturity. Because inside of this moment, you don't ever see fear. You don't ever see insecurity on Moses's part. You don't ever see power grabs either. You just see Moses as a humble leader saying, I like this. Let's put this in place. Let's raise up other leaders. And y'all, that's Jesus's way of doing it too. It's called discipleship. It happens in both places. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a dad who was one of those beautiful natural born leaders. And so I got to watch his life. And I have all kinds of what we used to call Sawyerisms about leadership and management and all the things. But one of the things that my dad did exceptionally well was something that he called successor planning. And so to him, it was his years of management, the people that he managed, part of your performance appraisals always included a section that said, who is it that's taking over your job when either you leave or you get promoted? Who is it that you've identified? And how is it that you're empowering them and equipping them and training them up to be able to get there. It was part of what they did. They checked in on it periodically as well. And so this is that picture of you've got these people reaching down, right? And then he says, you're hoping that there's somebody up here that's targeted you as their successor as well. So now you have another pipeline of somebody who's speaking into your life and who's training you and who's giving you the tools and all that you need and equipping you and empowering you and saying, go, go, go, go. So you've got this beautiful picture of reaching down to help somebody else up. In turn, somebody's doing the same thing for you. It's discipleship in action. In the corporate world, like my dad called it, it was successor planning. But it's the same concept. But it's not about fear and it's not about insecurity. Because see, the thing is with all of us, we like control, right? We like control. We like to hold on to the power. And somewhere in there, we're afraid that if we train and coach and give it away, that it's not going to get done the way we want it to get done. I had an example of this one, and y'all can laugh at me later, but I'm going to tell it anyway. I was talking to my brother, and he was discussing the idea of loading the dishwasher. And you all do not know my brother nor my sister-in-law, but it's an interesting dynamic in their house. And needless to say, Zach knows them. Can you tell? So needless to say, my brother will load the dishwasher. My sister-in-law comes behind him and rearranges it and puts it the way that she feels that it's supposed to be. Okay, can I ask a question? Is it still going to get clean, whether it's loaded my brother's way or my sister-in-law's way? It's still, in the end, the product is, it's still going to come out clean dishes. But somewhere in there, my sister-in-law is not ready to release that control. And so for those of y'all that have kids in the house and you're exhausted, give them a vacuum. Tell them to go vacuum. It's not going to be perfect. It's not going to be pretty. You're not going to have those beautiful lines like you might like, etc. But you've released it. You've let go of the control. And somewhere in there too, those little people are now very excited because they got to help. You're starting to empower them and equip them. Those are the things we have to remember to release the control because the thing is is that leadership that doesn't release can't reproduce. We are all expendable. There's somebody else that could easily take my job. As a matter of fact, Kyle's getting ready to do it. I just thought about that. But hey, there's somebody else that can always take your job. So the thing is, is that you're expendable. So what is it then that, why can't we all just let go of that control? And why can't we speak into the lives of other people around us and raise them up so that they can in turn help us to multiply our influence? So I think, yeah, let's just land this. I got Kyle in my head now, so let's just land this. Here's the thing, though, about leadership. Leadership is something straight up that is not something, I say. It's not something that we're appointed to. It's actually something that we live. As you look at especially leadership in the kingdom of God, it's not about the position, right? It's not something we're appointed to. It's about how we live. It's not about power because there's nothing in the story of Moses and Jethro that shows you any kind of power. It's all about your posture, that of having your heart directly in line with that of Christ and that of the people that you serve. It's not about commanding any kind of attention. The spotlight's not on you, but we're hoping it's about inspiring worship, inspiring a response from those people. And it's not about being the hero, but it's actually about raising up the heroes. So are you in your space where you lead? Things to think about is, are you leading from a place of posture or position? Are you holding on tight? Or are you lifting others up? And are you preaching with your words? Or are you preaching with your life? Because this world, y'all, it doesn't need any more loud leaders. It just needs humble ones. It needs ones that want to be present. It needs ones that have a servant heart. And you know, here at Grace, inside of our teams, we have some amazing leaders. We have lots of people who like to help out, like Aaron and Er in the story last week. We have people who lead from up front. But I will also tell you, we can always use more leaders, especially ones that are more like Moses, who are actually willing to lead like they live. And so maybe that's what God's calling you to today, that you take a step out to step into more of a leadership type role. That tomorrow morning you call Kyle and say, hey, Kyle, guess what? I think it's time for me to go speak into the lives of some of the kids at Grace, whether it's in Grace Kids or Grace Students. But I think it's time for me to do that, to reach down to lift somebody else up. Or maybe it's time that you call me on Monday and say, hey, I think it's time for me to lead a small group. I think it's time. I've got something that I can do. Because I want to be able to speak into the lives of those around us. So think about what your next steps are. Because the thing is, is that to serve in God's kingdom, you don't have to be perfect by no means. You just need to be willing. You just need to be humble. You just need to have your heart aligned with Christ. Because again, influence doesn't come from your position, but it comes from your posture. So today, I hope that as we walk out these doors, we let our lives preach more than our words do. Will you all pray with me? Lord, thank you. Thank you for this beautiful example that you give us of what it is to be a humble, servant-hearted leader. One who looks at you before speaking, one that seeks your heart for your people. We just ask that as we walk out of here today that we remind ourselves of the places where we lead because we do. We all lead someplace. So remind us of those places and give us what we need to be able to begin the process of empowering and equipping and raising up those that are coming behind us. And Lord, thank you for loving us. And we love you. Amen.

Well, good morning, Grace. My name is Erin, and I get the privilege of being one of the pastors here. And thank you for being here this morning, whether you're joining us online or whether you're here in person. We are just grateful that you chose to carve a little bit of your Sunday out to spend it with us. This morning, we are actually continuing in our series, as Mikey kind of reminded us, in Gentle and Lowly, where we've actually been looking at the character of Christ. We've looked at his compassion. We've looked at his humanity. We've looked at him as our gentle priest. And last week, we looked how he is our intercessor, as well as our advocate before the Father. And this week, we're going to jump ahead. We're now in chapter 18, and today we're actually looking at his yearning bowels. That one took a minute to sink in, didn't it? For those of you all that giggled and or wanted to laugh but chose not to, may that middle school boy that lives inside of you remain there forever because they bring such joy and interest to life. And for those of you that the yearning bowels may have brought up unfortunate thoughts of explosive bowels, I apologize on that front as well. And I hope that in this morning I can erase those visions from your head. And you can't blame me for today's topic. Nate holds that one firmly on his shoulders because he's the one that picked up the book and went through chapter by chapter and decided what he felt is what Grace needed to hear. So he's the one that chose that y'all needed to hear about yearning bowels today. But in actuality, if you dig into the chapter, what the chapter is about is about God's yearning love for us, about his tender and his compassionate heart that reaches in and grabs us in the depths of our sin and wants to pull us out. And as I read this and I continue to read over this, I have to admit, and I stand before you very transparent as one of the pastors and say, I struggle with this. And I struggle with what this says. I know it to be theologically the truth but I have moments when I look at it and say hmm there's a God that loves me down to the depths of his being to his core. He loves me that much and I struggle with And I ask sometimes, how is that truly possible? For those of you that know me, this next statement will not come as a shock, but I am a people pleaser by nature. And for as long as I can remember, I've sought the approval of others. It's just who I am. It is part of my wiring, I truly believe. If you go into all the personality tests and you look at all the things, like I'm a helper. I don't know all the numbers and letters. I just don't. But that's just who I am. That's how I'm wired. I also think environmentally there was an impact. My dad was in food retail. We moved a ton when I was a kid. I was in four different elementary schools before I hit fifth grade. So I spent a lot of time trying to fit in, trying to find new friends, trying not to be labeled as, you know, the new girl. That's not something I wanted to carry. I just wanted to fit in and be part of a group or like just a little cluster. The other thing is, is that I didn't in those elementary years have a foundation in God's love for me. I grew up with parents who were believers, but we were also a family that were Christers. For those of you that don't understand that terminology, we went to church on Christmas and Easter. That was my exposure to the church. Good or bad, again, that's just what it was. I also had a brother who played travel hockey, so we were always on the road. These were choices that my parents made, and I don't hold any of it against them by any means, but I think it helped to form who I am and how I continue to do. Because from childhood and even into adulthood, my world's been marked by a lot of striving. This striving to be accepted, this striving to prove myself, to somehow earn a place. And then after I became a Christian, that striving also fell into, I think, and shaped how I viewed God. I knew that I loved him. I knew I believed in who he is and who he says he was. I knew that what scripture said about him was 100% true, but I still doubted sometimes that he could love me the way that he said he did in scripture. Because y'all, I knew I'm messy, I'm stinky, I carry lots of baggage. I carry lots of shame, lots of regret for my past. And so for me to think about that kind of love hitting home for me is hard sometimes to wrap my head around. And so as I was continuing to prepare, Nate and I have met a few times. And again, this might be shocking to you all. He came to me a couple times and said, you have too many words. You need to parse it down just a little bit. But he challenged me to find one thing, just one thing that out of this chapter and out of what I've studied, that I would hope that you guys would walk away with. And so, Nate, I apologize ahead of time because in looking for my one thing, I may have veered off course from what we had talked about originally. So this is what we've got, though. But he challenged me to think about one thing for you all to walk out of here with today as we talk about God's love for us. And the thing that hit me somewhere in all of this was from John chapter 13, verses 34 and 35. And what that says is, a new commandment I give you, love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. And by this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. Y'all, when I read that, when I went back to it and I read over it and I read over it again, and it hit me right in the face. How is it that we can love others if we don't believe that he loves us? He states in that commandment, he wants us to love others like he's loved us. But if I doubt or if I don't believe in the love that he's given me, how then in turn can I give that love out to others? And I think that's why our world today is starving. It's starving for the kind of love that Jesus offers to us. This love that's real. It's not a political correctness or tolerance. It's not a kind of love that is social niceties, but it's the kind of love that is rooted in stays, forgives, it heals. So when he says for us to love others the way he's loved us, he's not asking us to try to do better. I think what he's doing is he's inviting us to be transformed. Transformed by the love that he has for us first. Because see, we can't love others like Jesus until we trust that we're loved by Jesus. This is it. If you hear nothing else I say today, this is it. That we ourselves can't love like he asks us to love others until we trust that we're truly loved by him. And this love that he has for us and is asking us to give out to others, it's not a cautious love. It's not a distant love. But it's a love that is actually drawn into our need and our messy. Which that's the part that I think for a lot of us is scary, right? So when we're at those places down deep, and this is where I said before, I have messy, I have lots of background baggage, right? But that's the place that Jesus wants to meet us and dig in, in that place of sin and love us all the more. So in those places where we feel the most unworthy or the most unlovable, the most ashamed, he wants to meet us there. We have to learn how to wrap our heads around that. And I think that there's a lot of us in this room that may be like, yeah, well, he extends that to others around us. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen that love extended to other people, but he's not going to give that to me because, you know, not after what I've done, not after the fact that I have yelled at my children for the 10,000th time, not after I have attempted and yet failed one more time to quit alcohol or drugs or pornography. Or after I have had the abuse that I have in my past. He can't love me there. He can't. And so instead of resting in his love, what we do when we put up that wall that says he can't get into those down, dark, dirty places with us is we start striving to earn love in other places. We have somehow to prove to others around us that we're lovable, that we're worthy of the love that he has or that somebody else has. I'm lovable. If I just keep doing, if I keep striving, if I keep somehow, somebody's going to think that I'm worthy. But when we doubt, when we doubt, when we strive, it doesn't do us any good. And in actuality, it makes us poor lovers of the people around us. He calls us to love others the way that he's loved us. But if we're striving to get that love from other people and from other places, then we are in a place where we have no capacity to give love if we're always striving to try to grab it from something. And when we doubt that we're loved, we tend to withhold our love from those around us. Because you know what? It took me an awful lot to feel this little bit of love that I've got right now. I'm not ready to give that up. And so we hold on and we're not doing a good job in loving other people. And so when you look at how Christ loved, we go back to where he was when he gave this commandment. He's in the upper room. It's the night before he's to go to the cross. The night before he makes the sacrifice of his life where he takes on your sin, my sin, your neighbor's sin, past, present, and future. So that we can have a relationship with him and that we can in turn be with him forever. So it's the night before he's getting ready to do that for us. He's sitting in a room with his 12 best friends and he knows already that Judas is about to betray him. He knows that Peter will deny him and he knows that by the time that the sun rises, all of the disciples will have scattered. He knows that. And yet he makes a very conscious choice to kneel down and to wash their feet. Y'all, if that was me and my humanness, that would not have been my response. Think about it. I might've been angry. I could have been, you know, or like, like, just not going to talk about this. You're going to be hateful, ugly people to me here in about 12 hours. I'm done with you. But that's not how he chooses to respond. He chooses with love and action. He chooses to serve when it is the least deserved. And he chooses to move towards those who are failing him. He knows it. And that's what he does for us too, right? He moves towards us in those places where he knows we're going to fail him, where we're not doing what we feel or what we should be doing. And then he continues on and he says to them, as I have loved you, so you must love one another. So he's just knelt down. He's just given them that love that they didn't deserve, that love that met them in this place of complete and total failure. And he says, have to receive it before you can give it because love starts with receiving before it becomes doing. We get that backward all the time in our humanness. We get that backward all the time. When we're not anchored in his love for us, all we end up doing is making ourselves exhausted making ourselves defensive and disappointed I said before that I am a people pleaser and one of the things that people pleasers do so beautifully is they put others before themselves quite often to your detriment. Many of you guys know that my parents passed away within 17 months of each other, and sandwiched in between there, there was lots of running back and forth to Pinehurst, lots of hospital visits, lots of taking on responsibility and helping my dad and aunt. There was a whole litany of things that I could add in there. In there also, I was trying to be a good wife. I was trying to be a good mom. I was trying to be a good pastor here at Grace. And I can stand before you and tell you I failed miserably at all of that during that period of time. It wasn't pretty. I was short with my family. I know I let people here down. I let my coworkers down. It wasn't pretty. And I know it. And I was constantly running. I had my kids later admit to me that there were things that they didn't tell me during that time because they didn't want to add anything else to my plate. And as a mama, for those of the other mamas in the room, you know that just breaks your heart to think that they just can't come to you. I just was not a good human at that moment or during this time. And I can also admit to the fact that I would get phone calls periodically from my dad after my mom had passed. And I remember seeing his name pop up on the screen and literally just staring at the phone and in moments dreading answering it. I love my dad to my core, but I knew to answer it there would be questions and he was very needy at those moments and I didn't have anything left to give. I was done. I was exhausted. I did answer it, by the way. But still, in that moment, there was always that thought and that hesitation as I looked at the screen because I was like, oh, no. And the thing is, I neglected myself, and I realize now that we can't, you can't pour out what you haven't first received. I was working from an empty cup, a very empty shell, because I was running myself absolutely ragged. And this goes back to the fact that we can't love like Jesus if we don't trust that we're loved by Jesus. If I'm not filled up by Jesus because I trust that he loves me, I am not loving others well. And I think that there's a lot of us in the world like this today. And I think that this emptiness or this constant striving and this constant motion trying to earn something, trying to pour ourselves out from empty cups is why the world can feel like it does sometimes, where we're living in this place where we're quick to divide and quick to assume things and slow to forgive. And we see that often sliding into the church as well because the church is made up of a lot of humans, right? And it slides into the church as well. You don't need me to tell you that. You all have seen it at some point in time. All you have to do is look online. And it makes you sad. And I think back to what Jesus said about his disciples loving others. And I wonder to us too, if we classify our followers, ourselves as followers of Jesus, what would it be like if the people of Jesus were known not for being right or righteous or all the things you could add there, but for being rooted. Being so secure in his love that we freely give out our love to others. That we are so rooted in his love that we no longer compete, but we serve, that we're so rooted in his love that we no longer compare ourselves to others, but we celebrate each other, and that somehow when we're so rooted that we no longer condemn, but we just choose to forgive and to offer grace. Because I think then the world will start to take notice. And the world's going to recognize us as Jesus followers by our love for one another. Our love, this love that is so rooted deep inside of us, is meant to be living evidence of who he is. It's meant to be that living evidence to the rest of the world that he is real and he is love. Not our striving love, not our performing love. That's not the kind of love that we need here. What we need here is that secure love, the love that is flowing from a heart that is rooted and anchored in grace. And I know some of you all are now looking at me going, okay, that sounds really good. And you've not met my mother-in-law or my father-in-law or whoever it may be, my coworker, my brother, my sister, whoever it may be that says, and you're going, but loving like Jesus is going to be really hard in those circumstances. Yeah, it is because we're human and we run out of patience and we run out of kindness and we run out of, in a lot of cases, just run out of ourselves. But I go back to that commandment that he gave us. And I don't think he gave it to us to be impossible. I think he gave it to us as a reminder and an invitation to draw us back to him and to remind us that that same love that he gives and that same love that saved us is now going to be the love that empowers us to love others. And that that love and that grace that he met us with in the middle of our messy, stinky mess is now going to be the love and grace that helps us to meet others in their mess. It's an invitation and a reminder that even with those that are super hard to love, we can't work it up sometimes. We can't just walk into the situation going, I'm going to love them better today. I am. I'm going to love them better today. It doesn't always work that way because our ability to love doesn't come from some sort of willpower. I truly believe that it comes from being willing to be loved. I had the opportunity last week to hang out with some sorority sisters. We did this the year before. It's just a sweet time. We get to reconnect. This year, my old roommate got to join us, and I was so excited. I had not seen her in probably seven or eight years. And Shelly and I got to actually room together again on this trip, and we spent many nights just chatting and talking and catching up. And I asked her about her sister and how things were going. Shelly had a sister who about 15 years ago had a brain tumor, multiple surgeries, etc. Left her sister with basically some traumatic brain injury. She had short-term memory issues. Long-term memory was very much intact. Her physical ability is very much intact. So she could live somewhat independently. It was always nice just to have some people around to check on her. And about seven years ago, she moved up to be close to Shelly and her family. Lived a couple houses away, so very involved in her life, constantly looking after, checking in on her, and all the things. In 2022, her sister caught COVID, and because of her compromised health, landed her in the hospital for a great deal of time. It accelerated some of her decline. And because of that, she ended up in a rehab facility. And Shelly's comment in all of this to me was, I don't understand why it's her and it's not me. There was a lot of guilt in that respect. And, you know, we talked about it, and she's a believer as well. And I'm like, I don't have an answer for you on that one. There isn't an answer for why it's her and not you. And then she went on to say that one of the things recently that Amy has started to do is that every time they go to visit, Amy just looks at her and says, God has been so good to me. And it's at every visit. And Shelly looked at me and she said, I don't know how she can say that. After 15 years and all she's gone through and all the struggles and all the things, I don't know sometimes how she can say that. But this time I knew I could look at Shelly right in the face and go, I know exactly why she says that. Because of you. You are her personal representative of God's love. You who shows up and loves on her unconditionally. You who takes her out. You who does all the things for her and with her. To her, you represent God's love. So when she says, God has been so good to me, she can say it because of the way that you love her. And I hope, Grace, that we can be that to other people as well. Nate often states that we can't be the big C church, but we can be Grace. And we as individual people can impact, we can work on ourselves, we can impact our families, we can also then impact this body and the communities around us. And so when you think about Shelly and you think about her willingness to love so unconditionally the way she did. I think about us and myself. This is me talking to myself too. But what would it be like if we chose to believe the best about one another because we know that that's what love does? What would it be like if we showed up for people who were hurting? Even when we didn't want to because their hurting is hard. But we did it because we know that that's what Jesus would do. What would it look like if we were forgiving before it's earned? Because we know that that's what grace would do. And what would it be like if we had all the patience with those that are just new or learning? Because again, we know what grace and love would do. Because I think every act of love then becomes this small reflection of the greater love that we've received. Because we can only do that, however, when we're sure of his love for us. And when we're secure in his love, we stop striving to earn it and we start living to spread it. And so today, I don't believe in my being that this is an invitation for us to walk out these doors and try to love better. I don't think that that's what this is. I think what this is is an invitation to us to let ourselves be loved deeper. To receive his love for us. All that Aaron and the team sang about. How much he loves us. That's what we have to receive first. And when we truly trust that we're loved by him. Freely, fully, without any condition. That will be the moment that we will turn and love others like he loves us. So we can't love others like Jesus until we trust that we're loved by Jesus. And so what is it, Grace, that you guys can do this week as you walk out these doors to root yourself deeper in the love that he has for you today? And will y'all pray with me? Thank you. Thank you, Lord, that you love us. Thank you, Lord, that you give so freely of your love. We just ask that we are willing to receive that, that we put down ourselves, that we quit striving to earn our love from someplace else and quit striving to earn your love. But somehow, by staying rooted in you, that we learn how very deeply you love us. That down deep in our core and our soul, that you love us that down deep in our core and our soul that you love us that much and by doing so challenging us to then take that love and spread it to those around us thank you Lord for your love thank for your son. And it's in your name we pray. Amen.

All right. Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thank you for joining us on this October Sunday. If you're joining us online, Alan Morgan is working the camera. He's an expert at it. So you're in for a great experience this morning. Thank you for joining us in that way. This morning, we get to wrap up our series, Gentle and Lowly, where we've been going kind of through the book by a pastor named Dane Ortlund called Gentle and Lowly. I hope that it has been a good experience for you. I hope that you exit this series more desirous of Jesus than you were when it started. The whole idea has been to acquaint us with Jesus and to acquaint us with our Savior and his heart for us. And so it's very appropriate that we would wrap up the series this morning talking about God's unfailing, unending, unyielding, unwavering love for us. A few weeks ago, Erin Winston, who I affectionately refer to as Winnie the Boo, and I would invite you all to call her that. She loves that name and has never asked me not to call her that, especially publicly. She preached and did a great job. And she talked about God's yearning for us, how he yearns deeply for us with a love that we cannot comprehend. And I had small group after that and talked with my small group after that. And, you know, we were trying to process this idea of God's love for us and why it's so difficult for us to simply accept that God loves us. And so as we close this morning, that's where I want to land the plane in gentle and lowly is talking about God's love for us in this chapter. I believe it's 19 in the book. He loves us to the end. He loves us forever. He loves us unyieldingly. And I think, and this is where I want to sink into this morning, we have a hard time as people processing the type of love that God offers us. Because in our lives, as we interact with others, as we have loving relationships, excuse me, as we have loving relationships, we enter into and out of love. And there's things that we learn about love and about relationships in our life that operate counterintuitive to how we experience God, because his love is unique. What he offers us is different than anything we've ever experienced in life. And so to get us on the same page, as we approach this thought process about God's love, I want us to understand how we experience human love in our lives, right? So one of the principles that we understand in our life about love is because it has to be earned, it can be lost, right? Isn't that our experience? Because love has to be earned, it can be lost. Very few of us experience anything in our lives that's unearned love. I'm married. I don't know if you guys knew that about me, but I am. And next year in July will be 20 years for Jen and I. Right. I'm old. Like I can't even, I'm in a young couple small group that I'll talk about here in a minute. I'm just young couples adjacent. I just have young kids, but I'm old now. We will have been married for 20 years. And here's the reality about us and about you if you're married. Love at first sight's not a thing. Hollywood made that up. That doesn't happen to anyone. If it happened to you, you got duped, okay? You thought it was love at first sight. It wasn't. And they didn't love you back, all right? And you just stumbled into that. Good for you. I'm happy that you're experienced. That's not a real thing. You earn it over time, right? We show up and we're consistent. And over time, we deserve that love. We reciprocate that love. I have a really good friend in my life, a guy named Trip. And I would say unabashedly that Trip and I love each other very much. We care about each other a lot. We talk every week. Sometimes Jen will tell me, if you'd quit talking to Trip so much, you could write more sermons. So we talk a lot and we check in on each other's marriages and I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and we care about each other deeply. And this is beside the point, but I hesitate to say this publicly, but I think I've got a book in me and I want to write about friendship, about adult male friendship, because men are bad at being friends and we need better friends and we need to be better friends. This is something to me that cuts very deep. I love my friends. I treasure them. They're some of the greatest privileges in my life. But here's what I know. I have this friendship with Tripp because I've shown up over the years. Because when he calls, I answer. When you call during the afternoon, voicemail. Voicemail. We'll just see. How important is this to Emil really? Let's see if he's willing to text me about it before I just stop what I'm doing. When my buddy calls, 3 o'clock, I'm going to answer because that's not usual. What's going on? Is everything okay? There are those people in our life that we love that much that we show up for them. But here's my point. That love is earned over time, showing up for them, answering the phone, being there. And here's what I know. If I stopped doing that, if I went absent on my friendships, if I stopped answering the phone and I stopped participating and I stopped engaging, it might take months or years, but eventually I would lose that friend. Because our experience in life is that love is earned over time, over consistency, over showing up, right? And if you stop showing up, what happens to that love and that friendship and that affection? It fades as our attendance does. So here's what we know about love in our life and our human experience. Because it has to be earned, it can also be lost. I had someone explain to me years ago this idea that when we're in a relationship with someone, there are boundaries around their love. They love you within these boundaries. And here's how I know this is true. I wouldn't ascribe to you a love for me, okay? I'm not saying that you're here this morning because you love Nate, but some of you have some sort of affection for me and you trust me as your pastor, but you do that within boundaries, right? If I show up next week and I preach about politics, now I'm outside your boundaries. You don't have that affection for me anymore. Yeah, right. So there's boundaries that I have to stay in to continue to earn your affection. This is true in all of our lives. In our marriages, there are boundaries. I love you unendingly. But if you adopt these behaviors, those are outside the bounds of love. In friendship, I love you. But if you go outside the bounds of love, that's done. And so that's how we understand what love is and what relationships are. First of all, it's earned. Second of all, if it can be earned, it can be lost. And if that's true, once love is lost, it must be regained. We have to earn it back, right? We have to rebuild trust. We have to rebuild love. We have to rebuild the relationship. And here's the other thing that we know about this. Regaining love takes longer than establishing it. Rebuilding trust takes longer than it did to establish it in the first place. I don't know how long it took me to convince Jen to fall in love with me. It's probably a couple of days. I mean, I imagine I was pretty cool at Toccoa, you know, like I imagine it's pretty quick. But if I did something to break her trust, it would take me longer to reestablish that trust with her than it did to get her to fall in love with me in the first place. I've heard from therapists that it takes an average of two years for a spouse who has cheated and broken trust to regain trust with their spouse. So in a marriage, which we would describe as the most loving environment possible for us outside of a parent and child, it takes on average two years to regain trust once it's broken. So what we know and what we experience about love in our lives is it takes longer to regain it than it did to establish it in the first place. You follow? So here's what we do and here's why I make these points. And I think these three points are important. If I have to earn love, then I can lose it. If I lose it, I have to regain it. And if I'm going to regain it, I have to engage myself in a long, slow process of rebuilding trust that takes longer than it did to establish this love in the first place. This is our experience with human relationships. But God's love flies in the face of that. God's love does not operate that way, which is why we have such a hard time processing and receiving it. So to those principles, let me show you what God's love says. So first we start, I must have to earn it. Nope. 1 John 4, 19. I have a lot of notes and I also have my favorite point that I've ever made in a sermon here at the end. You'll know when I get there. I won't have to point it out to you. No, we don't have to earn it. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4, 19. Last week, I talked about the love that I experienced when my children were born. And they were laid on the chest of my wife. And I looked at that greasy space alien and loved them with my whole heart immediately. This is how God loves us. And here's what's tricky about this. We have parents. And if you have good parents, they love you no matter what. I have great parents. They love me no matter what. But there's been times when they've been disappointed in me. There's been times when I've stressed that love. There's been times when I've wondered about that love. Have I pushed it too far? And so even if we have wonderful parents who love us very much, we still don't have an experience in this life to equivocate God's love for us, which is an unyielding, unbuilding, unwavering love for us. We are still loved like a newborn baby placed on our mother's chest. We love God because he first loved us. What that means is before you were born, God loved you. As you were introduced into the world, God has loved you. As you've meandered your way through life and stubbed your toe and sinned and rejected him, God has loved you. As you've embraced him, God has loved you. As you've wondered, God has loved you. As you've clung to him, God has loved you. In such a way that's unwavering and unchanging. There is nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you are right now. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you were yesterday. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God tomorrow. Because he loves you and we reciprocate that by loving him back because he first loved us. So this idea that love has to be earned, which is our human experience, is not true of God. We do not earn it. We do not deserve it. He just does. And so then we take the next step. I can lose this love like I've lost others. Nope. John 13 one, because I can lose other loves because if I go absentee on my buddy trip, because if I operate outside the bounds of love within my marriage, I can lose that too. Because I can operate outside the bounds of what you guys prescribed for me as your pastor, I can lose that affection. Because I can lose love in my life, it must be true that I can lose God's love. Because that's how love operates. No. John 13, 1, on which this entire chapter is based. It was just before the Passover festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, listen, he loved them to the end. That's the sentence on which this entire chapter is based. He loved them to the end. He loved them forever. He loved them despite everything. Do you understand there are no boundaries on God's love for you? There's no behavior in which you can engage that would stop him from loving you. There's no dark night of the soul that would cause him to withdraw his affection for you. This is how Jesus loves. He loves us to the end. So this human experience that we have where love has to be earned and then it can be lost. And when it's lost, it has to be regained. That's not true of God. That's not how he operates. He's not waiting for you to qualify for his love again. He just loves you. He loves you with no bounds. This idea for me really hits home when we think about the boundaries around the love in our life. You love me as long as I stay within these borders. As long as I don't make those mistakes. As long as I don't disappoint you in this way. You love me. And this is true of all of our relationships. Because it's not unfair to draw those borders. We can't love a spouse who consistently betrays our trust. Who consistently hurts themselves and harms the family. We can't love a spouse that puts our children in danger. We can't love a spouse that betrays us consistently. So we have to have those borders for self-protection, right? God doesn't have any borders. He's willing to be hurt by your rebellion over and over and over and over again and still love you boundlessly. So even though our experience in life is once I earn love, I can lose it. Not with God. We can't lose that love. And then here's the other thing we do because we think we can lose that love is we assume that we have to earn it back. I must now, because I've acted in a way that God would reject and I've disappointed him, he must have withdrawn his love from me. So surely, like every other relationship in my life, I have to re-earn it. I must now slowly earn it back. Nope. Luke 15, 20. The prodigal son. This is a wildly amazing story that we wax over far too easily. For those not familiar with the prodigal son, or maybe you can't tell it off the top of your head. I'll go fast. There's a young man. His dad's very rich. And he goes to his dad and he says, I'd rather have your money than your presence. So can you go ahead and give me my inheritance so that I can enjoy it now while I'm young and I can leave this place? It's a very disrespectful request. And the dad, in his love and graciousness, says, yeah, sure, here. Gives him his inheritance. And he goes off into the city and he spins it on exactly what you think he spins it on. Indulgences of any kind you can imagine. And he comes to the end of his rope. He has no money left. And he's laying in a pigsty and he remembers how his dad's servants are treated. And I love this part of the story. He conjures up within himself a speech. He's going to go back to his dad, but he's going to re-earn his dad's love. And he's going to admit to his dad, I don't deserve to be your son anymore, but if I could just be a servant, I would be happy because they're treated better than I am now. Can I just be your servant? I don't need to be reconstituted to love. I don't need to be restored. I don't deserve that. I've broken your trust and you couldn't possibly give that to me. Can I just be your servant? It's a speech he prepares. And then he gets up the next day and he goes. And as he's approaching his father, this is what happens. Look at the verse. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son. He threw his arms around him and he kissed him. The dad that had every right to accept that speech. Yeah, you're right. You don't deserve to be my son. Yeah, you're right. Like maybe you can be my servant. We'll see. I'll put you in the charge of so-and-so and let's see how it goes. Isn't that our human experience with love? Don't we agree with the son that he needed to earn his way back? That's not what the father did. He ran. He threw his arms around him. He demanded no apology. He demanded no repentance. He demanded no reconstitution. Instantly threw his arms around his son and kissed him and gave him a robe and gave him slippers and threw a party for him. Instantly. And that's a picture of how our God loves us, but because of our human experience with love, we refuse to accept it. We can't comprehend it. That that's not a story about some guy that lived thousands of years ago. That's a story about you. And every time you go to the Father, it's a story about how he receives you. But because of our experience with love, we can't comprehend it. And we kind of treat embracing love from God like my children treat getting into the pool. I have one child who's very hesitant to get into the pool. Toe in. Maybe that's good. Then they hold the rail. Then they're up to their ankles. And I'm at the bottom of the stairs, annoyed. Come on. Get in. I'm in. It's fine. You have a higher tolerance for this than I do. Let's go. And then they're just inch by inch. Right? I've got another child who at the Lifetime Pool back when we were rich and I had a fancy gym membership. I don't have that anymore. When I were members at the Y. They would jump in before I was ready. Like I would be, this is the edge of the pool. I'm over here just being in the pool. And I look over and they're just jumping off the ledge. And I would dive under the water. This happened multiple times. I dive under the water and look at them under the water where they can't breathe and their mouth is open. And they're smiling, laughing. This is fun. And it's like, do you not understand? You're, if I don't, you're going to die. Like if I don't dive in and get you, this is the end of your life. You only get to be three years old. That's it. And I picked them up and they're laughing. Some of us re-engage with God's love like a child that's scared of cold water. And we assume that we just have to tow our way into it and gradually walk back in. When God's love actually invites us to jump in before he's even ready. Because here's the thing, and this is why that illustration resonates with me. Dad's in the pool either way. You want to tow your way back in? You don't have to, but he's right there saying, come on, I got you. You want to jump in two feet? You want to dive in? Dad's in the pool. Come on. I got you. You can jump in. God's love for us is different than any other relationship we've ever experienced. It's so different and it so blows us away that what I would assert to you this morning, and this is one of my favorite points I've ever gotten to make, is that God's love is a Brazilian steakhouse. Write it down. And there it is. I sent the notes off to Carly, and I said, because Carly's doing the notes this week because Gibby's not here, and she was like, please make them short. And I sent them to her, and I said, they're neither short nor uncomplicated. I'm very sorry. And she goes, I don't care. I just want to know what this Brazilian steakhouse thing is. At my last church, periodically, when we would achieve certain goals, we would do celebratory lunches at this restaurant called Fogo do Chão. Raise your hand if you've been to Fogo do Chão. You're my friends. You're my friends. Fogo do Chão is the most magical place on earth. Nothing will ever exist that's better than Fogo do Chão. It's a Brazilian steakhouse. Brazilian steakhouses do this. I've actually gone to Brazil to work with an orphanage, not to go to a steakhouse. But as an ancillary benefit, I did go to a steakhouse. And they're replete throughout Brazil. This is how they work. And at Fogo, you have this thing that looks like a coaster. And on one side, it's red. And on one side, it's green. And when it's green, listen to me, they just bring you meat. Just more of it. And they don't stop. I don't know if you're comprehending what I'm saying right now, but it's unbelievable. And the first time I went, I had this coaster and I was like, do you mean if I just go like this? They just keep bringing me the meat. And they're like, yes, sir, we will keep bringing you the meat. And do you know what they did? They kept bringing me the meat. And if you don't leave Fogo to chow with a headache and the meat sweats, you're doing it wrong. Don't go to the salad bar. Don't eat a single bite of cheese or a vegetable at all. Just sit down with bread and your green card. I went with somebody one time who licked it and stuck it on his head. Just green. And he made such a display of himself that the waiters were taking notice of what happened there. And at the end, he had eaten so much that the waitress said, Sir, I don't think you could possibly be interested in a dessert, could you? And his response to her was, ma'am, do I look like a quitter to you? One of the best lines ever. But I just remember going to Fogo de Chão, and I couldn't believe, I love steak, and I couldn't believe that they just keep bringing me filet mignon or picante or top sirloin or whatever. They just keep, it just keeps coming. Would you serve? There's skewers that they carry. Sir, would you like some of this? Yes, I would. Thank you. It seems like you're out of space on a plate. Bring me another plate. Just keep serving the meat. I couldn't believe that this was a real place. Here's my point. God's love is so extravagant and so counterintuitive to anything else that we've experienced in life that I believe we have a hard time comprehending and appreciating it. In every other experience in life, I go to a steakhouse, I give you $55, you bring me a steak, that's the portion that I get, I'm done, that's the exchange. Not at FOGO. It's all that you want for as long as you want it. And that's our experience with God's love. In every other relationship in our life, for sometimes necessary reasons, there are boundaries around the love that we experience. There are limits on how many times we can be forgiven. There are expectations of our behavior to earn that love. And for the most part, rightly so. But God's love for us is so different and so unique that it defies every other experience of love that we have in our lives and is wholly overwhelming and is unfathomable. And if there's nothing else that we take away from this series, I want it to be this. God's love for you is unlimited. It is unyielding. It is unwavering. It is unrelenting. It is unstoppable. He loves you fiercely. So this morning, here's the invitation. His arms are open wide, inviting you to jump in. Let me ask you this. What would your life be like? Bless you. What would your life be like if you truly believed that God loved you? What would your life be like if you truly believed that the creator of the universe has an unbounded affection for you that you can never interrupt? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning knowing that you were as loved and as affirmed as a son or daughter of the king as you ever were? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't need anyone else's affection? You didn't need anyone else's approval. You didn't need anyone else to tell you that you were good enough because you knew that you knew that you knew that God loves you, that he affirmed you, that he has purposed you, that he has destined you. That he has assigned you these children to love. That he has assigned you this wife or this husband to love. That he has assigned you this workplace to go to and to be a minister in. That he has assigned you these things and he did that because he loves you. And you don't have to go earn it. He just does. What would tomorrow morning be like if you woke up and jumped two feet in into the pool with your heavenly father who loves you deeply and unyieldingly? Let's pray. Father, please convince us of this. Please show us this. Please help us rest in the reality of your love. Please help us accept what is so counterintuitive to us. That we do not have to perform for you that we do not have to put on for you or execute for you that we can even disappoint you and your arms are still open you still run to greet us you still love uscely. Would we this morning as we leave and as we sing and as we go experience just a little tinge of that relentless love that you have for us? Help us to accept it, to appreciate it, to embrace it, and to live in the reality of your love. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right. Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thank you for joining us on this October Sunday. If you're joining us online, Alan Morgan is working the camera. He's an expert at it. So you're in for a great experience this morning. Thank you for joining us in that way. This morning, we get to wrap up our series, Gentle and Lowly, where we've been going kind of through the book by a pastor named Dane Ortlund called Gentle and Lowly. I hope that it has been a good experience for you. I hope that you exit this series more desirous of Jesus than you were when it started. The whole idea has been to acquaint us with Jesus and to acquaint us with our Savior and his heart for us. And so it's very appropriate that we would wrap up the series this morning talking about God's unfailing, unending, unyielding, unwavering love for us. A few weeks ago, Erin Winston, who I affectionately refer to as Winnie the Boo, and I would invite you all to call her that. She loves that name and has never asked me not to call her that, especially publicly. She preached and did a great job. And she talked about God's yearning for us, how he yearns deeply for us with a love that we cannot comprehend. And I had small group after that and talked with my small group after that. And, you know, we were trying to process this idea of God's love for us and why it's so difficult for us to simply accept that God loves us. And so as we close this morning, that's where I want to land the plane in gentle and lowly is talking about God's love for us in this chapter. I believe it's 19 in the book. He loves us to the end. He loves us forever. He loves us unyieldingly. And I think, and this is where I want to sink into this morning, we have a hard time as people processing the type of love that God offers us. Because in our lives, as we interact with others, as we have loving relationships, excuse me, as we have loving relationships, we enter into and out of love. And there's things that we learn about love and about relationships in our life that operate counterintuitive to how we experience God, because his love is unique. What he offers us is different than anything we've ever experienced in life. And so to get us on the same page, as we approach this thought process about God's love, I want us to understand how we experience human love in our lives, right? So one of the principles that we understand in our life about love is because it has to be earned, it can be lost, right? Isn't that our experience? Because love has to be earned, it can be lost. Very few of us experience anything in our lives that's unearned love. I'm married. I don't know if you guys knew that about me, but I am. And next year in July will be 20 years for Jen and I. Right. I'm old. Like I can't even, I'm in a young couple small group that I'll talk about here in a minute. I'm just young couples adjacent. I just have young kids, but I'm old now. We will have been married for 20 years. And here's the reality about us and about you if you're married. Love at first sight's not a thing. Hollywood made that up. That doesn't happen to anyone. If it happened to you, you got duped, okay? You thought it was love at first sight. It wasn't. And they didn't love you back, all right? And you just stumbled into that. Good for you. I'm happy that you're experienced. That's not a real thing. You earn it over time, right? We show up and we're consistent. And over time, we deserve that love. We reciprocate that love. I have a really good friend in my life, a guy named Trip. And I would say unabashedly that Trip and I love each other very much. We care about each other a lot. We talk every week. Sometimes Jen will tell me, if you'd quit talking to Trip so much, you could write more sermons. So we talk a lot and we check in on each other's marriages and I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and we care about each other deeply. And this is beside the point, but I hesitate to say this publicly, but I think I've got a book in me and I want to write about friendship, about adult male friendship, because men are bad at being friends and we need better friends and we need to be better friends. This is something to me that cuts very deep. I love my friends. I treasure them. They're some of the greatest privileges in my life. But here's what I know. I have this friendship with Tripp because I've shown up over the years. Because when he calls, I answer. When you call during the afternoon, voicemail. Voicemail. We'll just see. How important is this to Emil really? Let's see if he's willing to text me about it before I just stop what I'm doing. When my buddy calls, 3 o'clock, I'm going to answer because that's not usual. What's going on? Is everything okay? There are those people in our life that we love that much that we show up for them. But here's my point. That love is earned over time, showing up for them, answering the phone, being there. And here's what I know. If I stopped doing that, if I went absent on my friendships, if I stopped answering the phone and I stopped participating and I stopped engaging, it might take months or years, but eventually I would lose that friend. Because our experience in life is that love is earned over time, over consistency, over showing up, right? And if you stop showing up, what happens to that love and that friendship and that affection? It fades as our attendance does. So here's what we know about love in our life and our human experience. Because it has to be earned, it can also be lost. I had someone explain to me years ago this idea that when we're in a relationship with someone, there are boundaries around their love. They love you within these boundaries. And here's how I know this is true. I wouldn't ascribe to you a love for me, okay? I'm not saying that you're here this morning because you love Nate, but some of you have some sort of affection for me and you trust me as your pastor, but you do that within boundaries, right? If I show up next week and I preach about politics, now I'm outside your boundaries. You don't have that affection for me anymore. Yeah, right. So there's boundaries that I have to stay in to continue to earn your affection. This is true in all of our lives. In our marriages, there are boundaries. I love you unendingly. But if you adopt these behaviors, those are outside the bounds of love. In friendship, I love you. But if you go outside the bounds of love, that's done. And so that's how we understand what love is and what relationships are. First of all, it's earned. Second of all, if it can be earned, it can be lost. And if that's true, once love is lost, it must be regained. We have to earn it back, right? We have to rebuild trust. We have to rebuild love. We have to rebuild the relationship. And here's the other thing that we know about this. Regaining love takes longer than establishing it. Rebuilding trust takes longer than it did to establish it in the first place. I don't know how long it took me to convince Jen to fall in love with me. It's probably a couple of days. I mean, I imagine I was pretty cool at Toccoa, you know, like I imagine it's pretty quick. But if I did something to break her trust, it would take me longer to reestablish that trust with her than it did to get her to fall in love with me in the first place. I've heard from therapists that it takes an average of two years for a spouse who has cheated and broken trust to regain trust with their spouse. So in a marriage, which we would describe as the most loving environment possible for us outside of a parent and child, it takes on average two years to regain trust once it's broken. So what we know and what we experience about love in our lives is it takes longer to regain it than it did to establish it in the first place. You follow? So here's what we do and here's why I make these points. And I think these three points are important. If I have to earn love, then I can lose it. If I lose it, I have to regain it. And if I'm going to regain it, I have to engage myself in a long, slow process of rebuilding trust that takes longer than it did to establish this love in the first place. This is our experience with human relationships. But God's love flies in the face of that. God's love does not operate that way, which is why we have such a hard time processing and receiving it. So to those principles, let me show you what God's love says. So first we start, I must have to earn it. Nope. 1 John 4, 19. I have a lot of notes and I also have my favorite point that I've ever made in a sermon here at the end. You'll know when I get there. I won't have to point it out to you. No, we don't have to earn it. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4, 19. Last week, I talked about the love that I experienced when my children were born. And they were laid on the chest of my wife. And I looked at that greasy space alien and loved them with my whole heart immediately. This is how God loves us. And here's what's tricky about this. We have parents. And if you have good parents, they love you no matter what. I have great parents. They love me no matter what. But there's been times when they've been disappointed in me. There's been times when I've stressed that love. There's been times when I've wondered about that love. Have I pushed it too far? And so even if we have wonderful parents who love us very much, we still don't have an experience in this life to equivocate God's love for us, which is an unyielding, unbuilding, unwavering love for us. We are still loved like a newborn baby placed on our mother's chest. We love God because he first loved us. What that means is before you were born, God loved you. As you were introduced into the world, God has loved you. As you've meandered your way through life and stubbed your toe and sinned and rejected him, God has loved you. As you've embraced him, God has loved you. As you've wondered, God has loved you. As you've clung to him, God has loved you. In such a way that's unwavering and unchanging. There is nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you are right now. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you were yesterday. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God tomorrow. Because he loves you and we reciprocate that by loving him back because he first loved us. So this idea that love has to be earned, which is our human experience, is not true of God. We do not earn it. We do not deserve it. He just does. And so then we take the next step. I can lose this love like I've lost others. Nope. John 13 one, because I can lose other loves because if I go absentee on my buddy trip, because if I operate outside the bounds of love within my marriage, I can lose that too. Because I can operate outside the bounds of what you guys prescribed for me as your pastor, I can lose that affection. Because I can lose love in my life, it must be true that I can lose God's love. Because that's how love operates. No. John 13, 1, on which this entire chapter is based. It was just before the Passover festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, listen, he loved them to the end. That's the sentence on which this entire chapter is based. He loved them to the end. He loved them forever. He loved them despite everything. Do you understand there are no boundaries on God's love for you? There's no behavior in which you can engage that would stop him from loving you. There's no dark night of the soul that would cause him to withdraw his affection for you. This is how Jesus loves. He loves us to the end. So this human experience that we have where love has to be earned and then it can be lost. And when it's lost, it has to be regained. That's not true of God. That's not how he operates. He's not waiting for you to qualify for his love again. He just loves you. He loves you with no bounds. This idea for me really hits home when we think about the boundaries around the love in our life. You love me as long as I stay within these borders. As long as I don't make those mistakes. As long as I don't disappoint you in this way. You love me. And this is true of all of our relationships. Because it's not unfair to draw those borders. We can't love a spouse who consistently betrays our trust. Who consistently hurts themselves and harms the family. We can't love a spouse that puts our children in danger. We can't love a spouse that betrays us consistently. So we have to have those borders for self-protection, right? God doesn't have any borders. He's willing to be hurt by your rebellion over and over and over and over again and still love you boundlessly. So even though our experience in life is once I earn love, I can lose it. Not with God. We can't lose that love. And then here's the other thing we do because we think we can lose that love is we assume that we have to earn it back. I must now, because I've acted in a way that God would reject and I've disappointed him, he must have withdrawn his love from me. So surely, like every other relationship in my life, I have to re-earn it. I must now slowly earn it back. Nope. Luke 15, 20. The prodigal son. This is a wildly amazing story that we wax over far too easily. For those not familiar with the prodigal son, or maybe you can't tell it off the top of your head. I'll go fast. There's a young man. His dad's very rich. And he goes to his dad and he says, I'd rather have your money than your presence. So can you go ahead and give me my inheritance so that I can enjoy it now while I'm young and I can leave this place? It's a very disrespectful request. And the dad, in his love and graciousness, says, yeah, sure, here. Gives him his inheritance. And he goes off into the city and he spins it on exactly what you think he spins it on. Indulgences of any kind you can imagine. And he comes to the end of his rope. He has no money left. And he's laying in a pigsty and he remembers how his dad's servants are treated. And I love this part of the story. He conjures up within himself a speech. He's going to go back to his dad, but he's going to re-earn his dad's love. And he's going to admit to his dad, I don't deserve to be your son anymore, but if I could just be a servant, I would be happy because they're treated better than I am now. Can I just be your servant? I don't need to be reconstituted to love. I don't need to be restored. I don't deserve that. I've broken your trust and you couldn't possibly give that to me. Can I just be your servant? It's a speech he prepares. And then he gets up the next day and he goes. And as he's approaching his father, this is what happens. Look at the verse. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son. He threw his arms around him and he kissed him. The dad that had every right to accept that speech. Yeah, you're right. You don't deserve to be my son. Yeah, you're right. Like maybe you can be my servant. We'll see. I'll put you in the charge of so-and-so and let's see how it goes. Isn't that our human experience with love? Don't we agree with the son that he needed to earn his way back? That's not what the father did. He ran. He threw his arms around him. He demanded no apology. He demanded no repentance. He demanded no reconstitution. Instantly threw his arms around his son and kissed him and gave him a robe and gave him slippers and threw a party for him. Instantly. And that's a picture of how our God loves us, but because of our human experience with love, we refuse to accept it. We can't comprehend it. That that's not a story about some guy that lived thousands of years ago. That's a story about you. And every time you go to the Father, it's a story about how he receives you. But because of our experience with love, we can't comprehend it. And we kind of treat embracing love from God like my children treat getting into the pool. I have one child who's very hesitant to get into the pool. Toe in. Maybe that's good. Then they hold the rail. Then they're up to their ankles. And I'm at the bottom of the stairs, annoyed. Come on. Get in. I'm in. It's fine. You have a higher tolerance for this than I do. Let's go. And then they're just inch by inch. Right? I've got another child who at the Lifetime Pool back when we were rich and I had a fancy gym membership. I don't have that anymore. When I were members at the Y. They would jump in before I was ready. Like I would be, this is the edge of the pool. I'm over here just being in the pool. And I look over and they're just jumping off the ledge. And I would dive under the water. This happened multiple times. I dive under the water and look at them under the water where they can't breathe and their mouth is open. And they're smiling, laughing. This is fun. And it's like, do you not understand? You're, if I don't, you're going to die. Like if I don't dive in and get you, this is the end of your life. You only get to be three years old. That's it. And I picked them up and they're laughing. Some of us re-engage with God's love like a child that's scared of cold water. And we assume that we just have to tow our way into it and gradually walk back in. When God's love actually invites us to jump in before he's even ready. Because here's the thing, and this is why that illustration resonates with me. Dad's in the pool either way. You want to tow your way back in? You don't have to, but he's right there saying, come on, I got you. You want to jump in two feet? You want to dive in? Dad's in the pool. Come on. I got you. You can jump in. God's love for us is different than any other relationship we've ever experienced. It's so different and it so blows us away that what I would assert to you this morning, and this is one of my favorite points I've ever gotten to make, is that God's love is a Brazilian steakhouse. Write it down. And there it is. I sent the notes off to Carly, and I said, because Carly's doing the notes this week because Gibby's not here, and she was like, please make them short. And I sent them to her, and I said, they're neither short nor uncomplicated. I'm very sorry. And she goes, I don't care. I just want to know what this Brazilian steakhouse thing is. At my last church, periodically, when we would achieve certain goals, we would do celebratory lunches at this restaurant called Fogo do Chão. Raise your hand if you've been to Fogo do Chão. You're my friends. You're my friends. Fogo do Chão is the most magical place on earth. Nothing will ever exist that's better than Fogo do Chão. It's a Brazilian steakhouse. Brazilian steakhouses do this. I've actually gone to Brazil to work with an orphanage, not to go to a steakhouse. But as an ancillary benefit, I did go to a steakhouse. And they're replete throughout Brazil. This is how they work. And at Fogo, you have this thing that looks like a coaster. And on one side, it's red. And on one side, it's green. And when it's green, listen to me, they just bring you meat. Just more of it. And they don't stop. I don't know if you're comprehending what I'm saying right now, but it's unbelievable. And the first time I went, I had this coaster and I was like, do you mean if I just go like this? They just keep bringing me the meat. And they're like, yes, sir, we will keep bringing you the meat. And do you know what they did? They kept bringing me the meat. And if you don't leave Fogo to chow with a headache and the meat sweats, you're doing it wrong. Don't go to the salad bar. Don't eat a single bite of cheese or a vegetable at all. Just sit down with bread and your green card. I went with somebody one time who licked it and stuck it on his head. Just green. And he made such a display of himself that the waiters were taking notice of what happened there. And at the end, he had eaten so much that the waitress said, Sir, I don't think you could possibly be interested in a dessert, could you? And his response to her was, ma'am, do I look like a quitter to you? One of the best lines ever. But I just remember going to Fogo de Chão, and I couldn't believe, I love steak, and I couldn't believe that they just keep bringing me filet mignon or picante or top sirloin or whatever. They just keep, it just keeps coming. Would you serve? There's skewers that they carry. Sir, would you like some of this? Yes, I would. Thank you. It seems like you're out of space on a plate. Bring me another plate. Just keep serving the meat. I couldn't believe that this was a real place. Here's my point. God's love is so extravagant and so counterintuitive to anything else that we've experienced in life that I believe we have a hard time comprehending and appreciating it. In every other experience in life, I go to a steakhouse, I give you $55, you bring me a steak, that's the portion that I get, I'm done, that's the exchange. Not at FOGO. It's all that you want for as long as you want it. And that's our experience with God's love. In every other relationship in our life, for sometimes necessary reasons, there are boundaries around the love that we experience. There are limits on how many times we can be forgiven. There are expectations of our behavior to earn that love. And for the most part, rightly so. But God's love for us is so different and so unique that it defies every other experience of love that we have in our lives and is wholly overwhelming and is unfathomable. And if there's nothing else that we take away from this series, I want it to be this. God's love for you is unlimited. It is unyielding. It is unwavering. It is unrelenting. It is unstoppable. He loves you fiercely. So this morning, here's the invitation. His arms are open wide, inviting you to jump in. Let me ask you this. What would your life be like? Bless you. What would your life be like if you truly believed that God loved you? What would your life be like if you truly believed that the creator of the universe has an unbounded affection for you that you can never interrupt? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning knowing that you were as loved and as affirmed as a son or daughter of the king as you ever were? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't need anyone else's affection? You didn't need anyone else's approval. You didn't need anyone else to tell you that you were good enough because you knew that you knew that you knew that God loves you, that he affirmed you, that he has purposed you, that he has destined you. That he has assigned you these children to love. That he has assigned you this wife or this husband to love. That he has assigned you this workplace to go to and to be a minister in. That he has assigned you these things and he did that because he loves you. And you don't have to go earn it. He just does. What would tomorrow morning be like if you woke up and jumped two feet in into the pool with your heavenly father who loves you deeply and unyieldingly? Let's pray. Father, please convince us of this. Please show us this. Please help us rest in the reality of your love. Please help us accept what is so counterintuitive to us. That we do not have to perform for you that we do not have to put on for you or execute for you that we can even disappoint you and your arms are still open you still run to greet us you still love uscely. Would we this morning as we leave and as we sing and as we go experience just a little tinge of that relentless love that you have for us? Help us to accept it, to appreciate it, to embrace it, and to live in the reality of your love. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right. Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thank you for joining us on this October Sunday. If you're joining us online, Alan Morgan is working the camera. He's an expert at it. So you're in for a great experience this morning. Thank you for joining us in that way. This morning, we get to wrap up our series, Gentle and Lowly, where we've been going kind of through the book by a pastor named Dane Ortlund called Gentle and Lowly. I hope that it has been a good experience for you. I hope that you exit this series more desirous of Jesus than you were when it started. The whole idea has been to acquaint us with Jesus and to acquaint us with our Savior and his heart for us. And so it's very appropriate that we would wrap up the series this morning talking about God's unfailing, unending, unyielding, unwavering love for us. A few weeks ago, Erin Winston, who I affectionately refer to as Winnie the Boo, and I would invite you all to call her that. She loves that name and has never asked me not to call her that, especially publicly. She preached and did a great job. And she talked about God's yearning for us, how he yearns deeply for us with a love that we cannot comprehend. And I had small group after that and talked with my small group after that. And, you know, we were trying to process this idea of God's love for us and why it's so difficult for us to simply accept that God loves us. And so as we close this morning, that's where I want to land the plane in gentle and lowly is talking about God's love for us in this chapter. I believe it's 19 in the book. He loves us to the end. He loves us forever. He loves us unyieldingly. And I think, and this is where I want to sink into this morning, we have a hard time as people processing the type of love that God offers us. Because in our lives, as we interact with others, as we have loving relationships, excuse me, as we have loving relationships, we enter into and out of love. And there's things that we learn about love and about relationships in our life that operate counterintuitive to how we experience God, because his love is unique. What he offers us is different than anything we've ever experienced in life. And so to get us on the same page, as we approach this thought process about God's love, I want us to understand how we experience human love in our lives, right? So one of the principles that we understand in our life about love is because it has to be earned, it can be lost, right? Isn't that our experience? Because love has to be earned, it can be lost. Very few of us experience anything in our lives that's unearned love. I'm married. I don't know if you guys knew that about me, but I am. And next year in July will be 20 years for Jen and I. Right. I'm old. Like I can't even, I'm in a young couple small group that I'll talk about here in a minute. I'm just young couples adjacent. I just have young kids, but I'm old now. We will have been married for 20 years. And here's the reality about us and about you if you're married. Love at first sight's not a thing. Hollywood made that up. That doesn't happen to anyone. If it happened to you, you got duped, okay? You thought it was love at first sight. It wasn't. And they didn't love you back, all right? And you just stumbled into that. Good for you. I'm happy that you're experienced. That's not a real thing. You earn it over time, right? We show up and we're consistent. And over time, we deserve that love. We reciprocate that love. I have a really good friend in my life, a guy named Trip. And I would say unabashedly that Trip and I love each other very much. We care about each other a lot. We talk every week. Sometimes Jen will tell me, if you'd quit talking to Trip so much, you could write more sermons. So we talk a lot and we check in on each other's marriages and I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and we care about each other deeply. And this is beside the point, but I hesitate to say this publicly, but I think I've got a book in me and I want to write about friendship, about adult male friendship, because men are bad at being friends and we need better friends and we need to be better friends. This is something to me that cuts very deep. I love my friends. I treasure them. They're some of the greatest privileges in my life. But here's what I know. I have this friendship with Tripp because I've shown up over the years. Because when he calls, I answer. When you call during the afternoon, voicemail. Voicemail. We'll just see. How important is this to Emil really? Let's see if he's willing to text me about it before I just stop what I'm doing. When my buddy calls, 3 o'clock, I'm going to answer because that's not usual. What's going on? Is everything okay? There are those people in our life that we love that much that we show up for them. But here's my point. That love is earned over time, showing up for them, answering the phone, being there. And here's what I know. If I stopped doing that, if I went absent on my friendships, if I stopped answering the phone and I stopped participating and I stopped engaging, it might take months or years, but eventually I would lose that friend. Because our experience in life is that love is earned over time, over consistency, over showing up, right? And if you stop showing up, what happens to that love and that friendship and that affection? It fades as our attendance does. So here's what we know about love in our life and our human experience. Because it has to be earned, it can also be lost. I had someone explain to me years ago this idea that when we're in a relationship with someone, there are boundaries around their love. They love you within these boundaries. And here's how I know this is true. I wouldn't ascribe to you a love for me, okay? I'm not saying that you're here this morning because you love Nate, but some of you have some sort of affection for me and you trust me as your pastor, but you do that within boundaries, right? If I show up next week and I preach about politics, now I'm outside your boundaries. You don't have that affection for me anymore. Yeah, right. So there's boundaries that I have to stay in to continue to earn your affection. This is true in all of our lives. In our marriages, there are boundaries. I love you unendingly. But if you adopt these behaviors, those are outside the bounds of love. In friendship, I love you. But if you go outside the bounds of love, that's done. And so that's how we understand what love is and what relationships are. First of all, it's earned. Second of all, if it can be earned, it can be lost. And if that's true, once love is lost, it must be regained. We have to earn it back, right? We have to rebuild trust. We have to rebuild love. We have to rebuild the relationship. And here's the other thing that we know about this. Regaining love takes longer than establishing it. Rebuilding trust takes longer than it did to establish it in the first place. I don't know how long it took me to convince Jen to fall in love with me. It's probably a couple of days. I mean, I imagine I was pretty cool at Toccoa, you know, like I imagine it's pretty quick. But if I did something to break her trust, it would take me longer to reestablish that trust with her than it did to get her to fall in love with me in the first place. I've heard from therapists that it takes an average of two years for a spouse who has cheated and broken trust to regain trust with their spouse. So in a marriage, which we would describe as the most loving environment possible for us outside of a parent and child, it takes on average two years to regain trust once it's broken. So what we know and what we experience about love in our lives is it takes longer to regain it than it did to establish it in the first place. You follow? So here's what we do and here's why I make these points. And I think these three points are important. If I have to earn love, then I can lose it. If I lose it, I have to regain it. And if I'm going to regain it, I have to engage myself in a long, slow process of rebuilding trust that takes longer than it did to establish this love in the first place. This is our experience with human relationships. But God's love flies in the face of that. God's love does not operate that way, which is why we have such a hard time processing and receiving it. So to those principles, let me show you what God's love says. So first we start, I must have to earn it. Nope. 1 John 4, 19. I have a lot of notes and I also have my favorite point that I've ever made in a sermon here at the end. You'll know when I get there. I won't have to point it out to you. No, we don't have to earn it. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4, 19. Last week, I talked about the love that I experienced when my children were born. And they were laid on the chest of my wife. And I looked at that greasy space alien and loved them with my whole heart immediately. This is how God loves us. And here's what's tricky about this. We have parents. And if you have good parents, they love you no matter what. I have great parents. They love me no matter what. But there's been times when they've been disappointed in me. There's been times when I've stressed that love. There's been times when I've wondered about that love. Have I pushed it too far? And so even if we have wonderful parents who love us very much, we still don't have an experience in this life to equivocate God's love for us, which is an unyielding, unbuilding, unwavering love for us. We are still loved like a newborn baby placed on our mother's chest. We love God because he first loved us. What that means is before you were born, God loved you. As you were introduced into the world, God has loved you. As you've meandered your way through life and stubbed your toe and sinned and rejected him, God has loved you. As you've embraced him, God has loved you. As you've wondered, God has loved you. As you've clung to him, God has loved you. In such a way that's unwavering and unchanging. There is nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you are right now. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you were yesterday. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God tomorrow. Because he loves you and we reciprocate that by loving him back because he first loved us. So this idea that love has to be earned, which is our human experience, is not true of God. We do not earn it. We do not deserve it. He just does. And so then we take the next step. I can lose this love like I've lost others. Nope. John 13 one, because I can lose other loves because if I go absentee on my buddy trip, because if I operate outside the bounds of love within my marriage, I can lose that too. Because I can operate outside the bounds of what you guys prescribed for me as your pastor, I can lose that affection. Because I can lose love in my life, it must be true that I can lose God's love. Because that's how love operates. No. John 13, 1, on which this entire chapter is based. It was just before the Passover festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, listen, he loved them to the end. That's the sentence on which this entire chapter is based. He loved them to the end. He loved them forever. He loved them despite everything. Do you understand there are no boundaries on God's love for you? There's no behavior in which you can engage that would stop him from loving you. There's no dark night of the soul that would cause him to withdraw his affection for you. This is how Jesus loves. He loves us to the end. So this human experience that we have where love has to be earned and then it can be lost. And when it's lost, it has to be regained. That's not true of God. That's not how he operates. He's not waiting for you to qualify for his love again. He just loves you. He loves you with no bounds. This idea for me really hits home when we think about the boundaries around the love in our life. You love me as long as I stay within these borders. As long as I don't make those mistakes. As long as I don't disappoint you in this way. You love me. And this is true of all of our relationships. Because it's not unfair to draw those borders. We can't love a spouse who consistently betrays our trust. Who consistently hurts themselves and harms the family. We can't love a spouse that puts our children in danger. We can't love a spouse that betrays us consistently. So we have to have those borders for self-protection, right? God doesn't have any borders. He's willing to be hurt by your rebellion over and over and over and over again and still love you boundlessly. So even though our experience in life is once I earn love, I can lose it. Not with God. We can't lose that love. And then here's the other thing we do because we think we can lose that love is we assume that we have to earn it back. I must now, because I've acted in a way that God would reject and I've disappointed him, he must have withdrawn his love from me. So surely, like every other relationship in my life, I have to re-earn it. I must now slowly earn it back. Nope. Luke 15, 20. The prodigal son. This is a wildly amazing story that we wax over far too easily. For those not familiar with the prodigal son, or maybe you can't tell it off the top of your head. I'll go fast. There's a young man. His dad's very rich. And he goes to his dad and he says, I'd rather have your money than your presence. So can you go ahead and give me my inheritance so that I can enjoy it now while I'm young and I can leave this place? It's a very disrespectful request. And the dad, in his love and graciousness, says, yeah, sure, here. Gives him his inheritance. And he goes off into the city and he spins it on exactly what you think he spins it on. Indulgences of any kind you can imagine. And he comes to the end of his rope. He has no money left. And he's laying in a pigsty and he remembers how his dad's servants are treated. And I love this part of the story. He conjures up within himself a speech. He's going to go back to his dad, but he's going to re-earn his dad's love. And he's going to admit to his dad, I don't deserve to be your son anymore, but if I could just be a servant, I would be happy because they're treated better than I am now. Can I just be your servant? I don't need to be reconstituted to love. I don't need to be restored. I don't deserve that. I've broken your trust and you couldn't possibly give that to me. Can I just be your servant? It's a speech he prepares. And then he gets up the next day and he goes. And as he's approaching his father, this is what happens. Look at the verse. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son. He threw his arms around him and he kissed him. The dad that had every right to accept that speech. Yeah, you're right. You don't deserve to be my son. Yeah, you're right. Like maybe you can be my servant. We'll see. I'll put you in the charge of so-and-so and let's see how it goes. Isn't that our human experience with love? Don't we agree with the son that he needed to earn his way back? That's not what the father did. He ran. He threw his arms around him. He demanded no apology. He demanded no repentance. He demanded no reconstitution. Instantly threw his arms around his son and kissed him and gave him a robe and gave him slippers and threw a party for him. Instantly. And that's a picture of how our God loves us, but because of our human experience with love, we refuse to accept it. We can't comprehend it. That that's not a story about some guy that lived thousands of years ago. That's a story about you. And every time you go to the Father, it's a story about how he receives you. But because of our experience with love, we can't comprehend it. And we kind of treat embracing love from God like my children treat getting into the pool. I have one child who's very hesitant to get into the pool. Toe in. Maybe that's good. Then they hold the rail. Then they're up to their ankles. And I'm at the bottom of the stairs, annoyed. Come on. Get in. I'm in. It's fine. You have a higher tolerance for this than I do. Let's go. And then they're just inch by inch. Right? I've got another child who at the Lifetime Pool back when we were rich and I had a fancy gym membership. I don't have that anymore. When I were members at the Y. They would jump in before I was ready. Like I would be, this is the edge of the pool. I'm over here just being in the pool. And I look over and they're just jumping off the ledge. And I would dive under the water. This happened multiple times. I dive under the water and look at them under the water where they can't breathe and their mouth is open. And they're smiling, laughing. This is fun. And it's like, do you not understand? You're, if I don't, you're going to die. Like if I don't dive in and get you, this is the end of your life. You only get to be three years old. That's it. And I picked them up and they're laughing. Some of us re-engage with God's love like a child that's scared of cold water. And we assume that we just have to tow our way into it and gradually walk back in. When God's love actually invites us to jump in before he's even ready. Because here's the thing, and this is why that illustration resonates with me. Dad's in the pool either way. You want to tow your way back in? You don't have to, but he's right there saying, come on, I got you. You want to jump in two feet? You want to dive in? Dad's in the pool. Come on. I got you. You can jump in. God's love for us is different than any other relationship we've ever experienced. It's so different and it so blows us away that what I would assert to you this morning, and this is one of my favorite points I've ever gotten to make, is that God's love is a Brazilian steakhouse. Write it down. And there it is. I sent the notes off to Carly, and I said, because Carly's doing the notes this week because Gibby's not here, and she was like, please make them short. And I sent them to her, and I said, they're neither short nor uncomplicated. I'm very sorry. And she goes, I don't care. I just want to know what this Brazilian steakhouse thing is. At my last church, periodically, when we would achieve certain goals, we would do celebratory lunches at this restaurant called Fogo do Chão. Raise your hand if you've been to Fogo do Chão. You're my friends. You're my friends. Fogo do Chão is the most magical place on earth. Nothing will ever exist that's better than Fogo do Chão. It's a Brazilian steakhouse. Brazilian steakhouses do this. I've actually gone to Brazil to work with an orphanage, not to go to a steakhouse. But as an ancillary benefit, I did go to a steakhouse. And they're replete throughout Brazil. This is how they work. And at Fogo, you have this thing that looks like a coaster. And on one side, it's red. And on one side, it's green. And when it's green, listen to me, they just bring you meat. Just more of it. And they don't stop. I don't know if you're comprehending what I'm saying right now, but it's unbelievable. And the first time I went, I had this coaster and I was like, do you mean if I just go like this? They just keep bringing me the meat. And they're like, yes, sir, we will keep bringing you the meat. And do you know what they did? They kept bringing me the meat. And if you don't leave Fogo to chow with a headache and the meat sweats, you're doing it wrong. Don't go to the salad bar. Don't eat a single bite of cheese or a vegetable at all. Just sit down with bread and your green card. I went with somebody one time who licked it and stuck it on his head. Just green. And he made such a display of himself that the waiters were taking notice of what happened there. And at the end, he had eaten so much that the waitress said, Sir, I don't think you could possibly be interested in a dessert, could you? And his response to her was, ma'am, do I look like a quitter to you? One of the best lines ever. But I just remember going to Fogo de Chão, and I couldn't believe, I love steak, and I couldn't believe that they just keep bringing me filet mignon or picante or top sirloin or whatever. They just keep, it just keeps coming. Would you serve? There's skewers that they carry. Sir, would you like some of this? Yes, I would. Thank you. It seems like you're out of space on a plate. Bring me another plate. Just keep serving the meat. I couldn't believe that this was a real place. Here's my point. God's love is so extravagant and so counterintuitive to anything else that we've experienced in life that I believe we have a hard time comprehending and appreciating it. In every other experience in life, I go to a steakhouse, I give you $55, you bring me a steak, that's the portion that I get, I'm done, that's the exchange. Not at FOGO. It's all that you want for as long as you want it. And that's our experience with God's love. In every other relationship in our life, for sometimes necessary reasons, there are boundaries around the love that we experience. There are limits on how many times we can be forgiven. There are expectations of our behavior to earn that love. And for the most part, rightly so. But God's love for us is so different and so unique that it defies every other experience of love that we have in our lives and is wholly overwhelming and is unfathomable. And if there's nothing else that we take away from this series, I want it to be this. God's love for you is unlimited. It is unyielding. It is unwavering. It is unrelenting. It is unstoppable. He loves you fiercely. So this morning, here's the invitation. His arms are open wide, inviting you to jump in. Let me ask you this. What would your life be like? Bless you. What would your life be like if you truly believed that God loved you? What would your life be like if you truly believed that the creator of the universe has an unbounded affection for you that you can never interrupt? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning knowing that you were as loved and as affirmed as a son or daughter of the king as you ever were? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't need anyone else's affection? You didn't need anyone else's approval. You didn't need anyone else to tell you that you were good enough because you knew that you knew that you knew that God loves you, that he affirmed you, that he has purposed you, that he has destined you. That he has assigned you these children to love. That he has assigned you this wife or this husband to love. That he has assigned you this workplace to go to and to be a minister in. That he has assigned you these things and he did that because he loves you. And you don't have to go earn it. He just does. What would tomorrow morning be like if you woke up and jumped two feet in into the pool with your heavenly father who loves you deeply and unyieldingly? Let's pray. Father, please convince us of this. Please show us this. Please help us rest in the reality of your love. Please help us accept what is so counterintuitive to us. That we do not have to perform for you that we do not have to put on for you or execute for you that we can even disappoint you and your arms are still open you still run to greet us you still love uscely. Would we this morning as we leave and as we sing and as we go experience just a little tinge of that relentless love that you have for us? Help us to accept it, to appreciate it, to embrace it, and to live in the reality of your love. In Jesus' name, amen.