Grace Raleigh Logo
Sign In

God loves us with a unique and unending love, but why do we struggle so mightily to accept this?

Transcript
All right. Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thank you for joining us on this October Sunday. If you're joining us online, Alan Morgan is working the camera. He's an expert at it. So you're in for a great experience this morning. Thank you for joining us in that way. This morning, we get to wrap up our series, Gentle and Lowly, where we've been going kind of through the book by a pastor named Dane Ortlund called Gentle and Lowly. I hope that it has been a good experience for you. I hope that you exit this series more desirous of Jesus than you were when it started. The whole idea has been to acquaint us with Jesus and to acquaint us with our Savior and his heart for us. And so it's very appropriate that we would wrap up the series this morning talking about God's unfailing, unending, unyielding, unwavering love for us. A few weeks ago, Erin Winston, who I affectionately refer to as Winnie the Boo, and I would invite you all to call her that. She loves that name and has never asked me not to call her that, especially publicly. She preached and did a great job. And she talked about God's yearning for us, how he yearns deeply for us with a love that we cannot comprehend. And I had small group after that and talked with my small group after that. And, you know, we were trying to process this idea of God's love for us and why it's so difficult for us to simply accept that God loves us. And so as we close this morning, that's where I want to land the plane in gentle and lowly is talking about God's love for us in this chapter. I believe it's 19 in the book. He loves us to the end. He loves us forever. He loves us unyieldingly. And I think, and this is where I want to sink into this morning, we have a hard time as people processing the type of love that God offers us. Because in our lives, as we interact with others, as we have loving relationships, excuse me, as we have loving relationships, we enter into and out of love. And there's things that we learn about love and about relationships in our life that operate counterintuitive to how we experience God, because his love is unique. What he offers us is different than anything we've ever experienced in life. And so to get us on the same page, as we approach this thought process about God's love, I want us to understand how we experience human love in our lives, right? So one of the principles that we understand in our life about love is because it has to be earned, it can be lost, right? Isn't that our experience? Because love has to be earned, it can be lost. Very few of us experience anything in our lives that's unearned love. I'm married. I don't know if you guys knew that about me, but I am. And next year in July will be 20 years for Jen and I. Right. I'm old. Like I can't even, I'm in a young couple small group that I'll talk about here in a minute. I'm just young couples adjacent. I just have young kids, but I'm old now. We will have been married for 20 years. And here's the reality about us and about you if you're married. Love at first sight's not a thing. Hollywood made that up. That doesn't happen to anyone. If it happened to you, you got duped, okay? You thought it was love at first sight. It wasn't. And they didn't love you back, all right? And you just stumbled into that. Good for you. I'm happy that you're experienced. That's not a real thing. You earn it over time, right? We show up and we're consistent. And over time, we deserve that love. We reciprocate that love. I have a really good friend in my life, a guy named Trip. And I would say unabashedly that Trip and I love each other very much. We care about each other a lot. We talk every week. Sometimes Jen will tell me, if you'd quit talking to Trip so much, you could write more sermons. So we talk a lot and we check in on each other's marriages and I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and we care about each other deeply. And this is beside the point, but I hesitate to say this publicly, but I think I've got a book in me and I want to write about friendship, about adult male friendship, because men are bad at being friends and we need better friends and we need to be better friends. This is something to me that cuts very deep. I love my friends. I treasure them. They're some of the greatest privileges in my life. But here's what I know. I have this friendship with Tripp because I've shown up over the years. Because when he calls, I answer. When you call during the afternoon, voicemail. Voicemail. We'll just see. How important is this to Emil really? Let's see if he's willing to text me about it before I just stop what I'm doing. When my buddy calls, 3 o'clock, I'm going to answer because that's not usual. What's going on? Is everything okay? There are those people in our life that we love that much that we show up for them. But here's my point. That love is earned over time, showing up for them, answering the phone, being there. And here's what I know. If I stopped doing that, if I went absent on my friendships, if I stopped answering the phone and I stopped participating and I stopped engaging, it might take months or years, but eventually I would lose that friend. Because our experience in life is that love is earned over time, over consistency, over showing up, right? And if you stop showing up, what happens to that love and that friendship and that affection? It fades as our attendance does. So here's what we know about love in our life and our human experience. Because it has to be earned, it can also be lost. I had someone explain to me years ago this idea that when we're in a relationship with someone, there are boundaries around their love. They love you within these boundaries. And here's how I know this is true. I wouldn't ascribe to you a love for me, okay? I'm not saying that you're here this morning because you love Nate, but some of you have some sort of affection for me and you trust me as your pastor, but you do that within boundaries, right? If I show up next week and I preach about politics, now I'm outside your boundaries. You don't have that affection for me anymore. Yeah, right. So there's boundaries that I have to stay in to continue to earn your affection. This is true in all of our lives. In our marriages, there are boundaries. I love you unendingly. But if you adopt these behaviors, those are outside the bounds of love. In friendship, I love you. But if you go outside the bounds of love, that's done. And so that's how we understand what love is and what relationships are. First of all, it's earned. Second of all, if it can be earned, it can be lost. And if that's true, once love is lost, it must be regained. We have to earn it back, right? We have to rebuild trust. We have to rebuild love. We have to rebuild the relationship. And here's the other thing that we know about this. Regaining love takes longer than establishing it. Rebuilding trust takes longer than it did to establish it in the first place. I don't know how long it took me to convince Jen to fall in love with me. It's probably a couple of days. I mean, I imagine I was pretty cool at Toccoa, you know, like I imagine it's pretty quick. But if I did something to break her trust, it would take me longer to reestablish that trust with her than it did to get her to fall in love with me in the first place. I've heard from therapists that it takes an average of two years for a spouse who has cheated and broken trust to regain trust with their spouse. So in a marriage, which we would describe as the most loving environment possible for us outside of a parent and child, it takes on average two years to regain trust once it's broken. So what we know and what we experience about love in our lives is it takes longer to regain it than it did to establish it in the first place. You follow? So here's what we do and here's why I make these points. And I think these three points are important. If I have to earn love, then I can lose it. If I lose it, I have to regain it. And if I'm going to regain it, I have to engage myself in a long, slow process of rebuilding trust that takes longer than it did to establish this love in the first place. This is our experience with human relationships. But God's love flies in the face of that. God's love does not operate that way, which is why we have such a hard time processing and receiving it. So to those principles, let me show you what God's love says. So first we start, I must have to earn it. Nope. 1 John 4, 19. I have a lot of notes and I also have my favorite point that I've ever made in a sermon here at the end. You'll know when I get there. I won't have to point it out to you. No, we don't have to earn it. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4, 19. Last week, I talked about the love that I experienced when my children were born. And they were laid on the chest of my wife. And I looked at that greasy space alien and loved them with my whole heart immediately. This is how God loves us. And here's what's tricky about this. We have parents. And if you have good parents, they love you no matter what. I have great parents. They love me no matter what. But there's been times when they've been disappointed in me. There's been times when I've stressed that love. There's been times when I've wondered about that love. Have I pushed it too far? And so even if we have wonderful parents who love us very much, we still don't have an experience in this life to equivocate God's love for us, which is an unyielding, unbuilding, unwavering love for us. We are still loved like a newborn baby placed on our mother's chest. We love God because he first loved us. What that means is before you were born, God loved you. As you were introduced into the world, God has loved you. As you've meandered your way through life and stubbed your toe and sinned and rejected him, God has loved you. As you've embraced him, God has loved you. As you've wondered, God has loved you. As you've clung to him, God has loved you. In such a way that's unwavering and unchanging. There is nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you are right now. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God than you were yesterday. There's nothing you can do to be more loved by God tomorrow. Because he loves you and we reciprocate that by loving him back because he first loved us. So this idea that love has to be earned, which is our human experience, is not true of God. We do not earn it. We do not deserve it. He just does. And so then we take the next step. I can lose this love like I've lost others. Nope. John 13 one, because I can lose other loves because if I go absentee on my buddy trip, because if I operate outside the bounds of love within my marriage, I can lose that too. Because I can operate outside the bounds of what you guys prescribed for me as your pastor, I can lose that affection. Because I can lose love in my life, it must be true that I can lose God's love. Because that's how love operates. No. John 13, 1, on which this entire chapter is based. It was just before the Passover festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, listen, he loved them to the end. That's the sentence on which this entire chapter is based. He loved them to the end. He loved them forever. He loved them despite everything. Do you understand there are no boundaries on God's love for you? There's no behavior in which you can engage that would stop him from loving you. There's no dark night of the soul that would cause him to withdraw his affection for you. This is how Jesus loves. He loves us to the end. So this human experience that we have where love has to be earned and then it can be lost. And when it's lost, it has to be regained. That's not true of God. That's not how he operates. He's not waiting for you to qualify for his love again. He just loves you. He loves you with no bounds. This idea for me really hits home when we think about the boundaries around the love in our life. You love me as long as I stay within these borders. As long as I don't make those mistakes. As long as I don't disappoint you in this way. You love me. And this is true of all of our relationships. Because it's not unfair to draw those borders. We can't love a spouse who consistently betrays our trust. Who consistently hurts themselves and harms the family. We can't love a spouse that puts our children in danger. We can't love a spouse that betrays us consistently. So we have to have those borders for self-protection, right? God doesn't have any borders. He's willing to be hurt by your rebellion over and over and over and over again and still love you boundlessly. So even though our experience in life is once I earn love, I can lose it. Not with God. We can't lose that love. And then here's the other thing we do because we think we can lose that love is we assume that we have to earn it back. I must now, because I've acted in a way that God would reject and I've disappointed him, he must have withdrawn his love from me. So surely, like every other relationship in my life, I have to re-earn it. I must now slowly earn it back. Nope. Luke 15, 20. The prodigal son. This is a wildly amazing story that we wax over far too easily. For those not familiar with the prodigal son, or maybe you can't tell it off the top of your head. I'll go fast. There's a young man. His dad's very rich. And he goes to his dad and he says, I'd rather have your money than your presence. So can you go ahead and give me my inheritance so that I can enjoy it now while I'm young and I can leave this place? It's a very disrespectful request. And the dad, in his love and graciousness, says, yeah, sure, here. Gives him his inheritance. And he goes off into the city and he spins it on exactly what you think he spins it on. Indulgences of any kind you can imagine. And he comes to the end of his rope. He has no money left. And he's laying in a pigsty and he remembers how his dad's servants are treated. And I love this part of the story. He conjures up within himself a speech. He's going to go back to his dad, but he's going to re-earn his dad's love. And he's going to admit to his dad, I don't deserve to be your son anymore, but if I could just be a servant, I would be happy because they're treated better than I am now. Can I just be your servant? I don't need to be reconstituted to love. I don't need to be restored. I don't deserve that. I've broken your trust and you couldn't possibly give that to me. Can I just be your servant? It's a speech he prepares. And then he gets up the next day and he goes. And as he's approaching his father, this is what happens. Look at the verse. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son. He threw his arms around him and he kissed him. The dad that had every right to accept that speech. Yeah, you're right. You don't deserve to be my son. Yeah, you're right. Like maybe you can be my servant. We'll see. I'll put you in the charge of so-and-so and let's see how it goes. Isn't that our human experience with love? Don't we agree with the son that he needed to earn his way back? That's not what the father did. He ran. He threw his arms around him. He demanded no apology. He demanded no repentance. He demanded no reconstitution. Instantly threw his arms around his son and kissed him and gave him a robe and gave him slippers and threw a party for him. Instantly. And that's a picture of how our God loves us, but because of our human experience with love, we refuse to accept it. We can't comprehend it. That that's not a story about some guy that lived thousands of years ago. That's a story about you. And every time you go to the Father, it's a story about how he receives you. But because of our experience with love, we can't comprehend it. And we kind of treat embracing love from God like my children treat getting into the pool. I have one child who's very hesitant to get into the pool. Toe in. Maybe that's good. Then they hold the rail. Then they're up to their ankles. And I'm at the bottom of the stairs, annoyed. Come on. Get in. I'm in. It's fine. You have a higher tolerance for this than I do. Let's go. And then they're just inch by inch. Right? I've got another child who at the Lifetime Pool back when we were rich and I had a fancy gym membership. I don't have that anymore. When I were members at the Y. They would jump in before I was ready. Like I would be, this is the edge of the pool. I'm over here just being in the pool. And I look over and they're just jumping off the ledge. And I would dive under the water. This happened multiple times. I dive under the water and look at them under the water where they can't breathe and their mouth is open. And they're smiling, laughing. This is fun. And it's like, do you not understand? You're, if I don't, you're going to die. Like if I don't dive in and get you, this is the end of your life. You only get to be three years old. That's it. And I picked them up and they're laughing. Some of us re-engage with God's love like a child that's scared of cold water. And we assume that we just have to tow our way into it and gradually walk back in. When God's love actually invites us to jump in before he's even ready. Because here's the thing, and this is why that illustration resonates with me. Dad's in the pool either way. You want to tow your way back in? You don't have to, but he's right there saying, come on, I got you. You want to jump in two feet? You want to dive in? Dad's in the pool. Come on. I got you. You can jump in. God's love for us is different than any other relationship we've ever experienced. It's so different and it so blows us away that what I would assert to you this morning, and this is one of my favorite points I've ever gotten to make, is that God's love is a Brazilian steakhouse. Write it down. And there it is. I sent the notes off to Carly, and I said, because Carly's doing the notes this week because Gibby's not here, and she was like, please make them short. And I sent them to her, and I said, they're neither short nor uncomplicated. I'm very sorry. And she goes, I don't care. I just want to know what this Brazilian steakhouse thing is. At my last church, periodically, when we would achieve certain goals, we would do celebratory lunches at this restaurant called Fogo do Chão. Raise your hand if you've been to Fogo do Chão. You're my friends. You're my friends. Fogo do Chão is the most magical place on earth. Nothing will ever exist that's better than Fogo do Chão. It's a Brazilian steakhouse. Brazilian steakhouses do this. I've actually gone to Brazil to work with an orphanage, not to go to a steakhouse. But as an ancillary benefit, I did go to a steakhouse. And they're replete throughout Brazil. This is how they work. And at Fogo, you have this thing that looks like a coaster. And on one side, it's red. And on one side, it's green. And when it's green, listen to me, they just bring you meat. Just more of it. And they don't stop. I don't know if you're comprehending what I'm saying right now, but it's unbelievable. And the first time I went, I had this coaster and I was like, do you mean if I just go like this? They just keep bringing me the meat. And they're like, yes, sir, we will keep bringing you the meat. And do you know what they did? They kept bringing me the meat. And if you don't leave Fogo to chow with a headache and the meat sweats, you're doing it wrong. Don't go to the salad bar. Don't eat a single bite of cheese or a vegetable at all. Just sit down with bread and your green card. I went with somebody one time who licked it and stuck it on his head. Just green. And he made such a display of himself that the waiters were taking notice of what happened there. And at the end, he had eaten so much that the waitress said, Sir, I don't think you could possibly be interested in a dessert, could you? And his response to her was, ma'am, do I look like a quitter to you? One of the best lines ever. But I just remember going to Fogo de Chão, and I couldn't believe, I love steak, and I couldn't believe that they just keep bringing me filet mignon or picante or top sirloin or whatever. They just keep, it just keeps coming. Would you serve? There's skewers that they carry. Sir, would you like some of this? Yes, I would. Thank you. It seems like you're out of space on a plate. Bring me another plate. Just keep serving the meat. I couldn't believe that this was a real place. Here's my point. God's love is so extravagant and so counterintuitive to anything else that we've experienced in life that I believe we have a hard time comprehending and appreciating it. In every other experience in life, I go to a steakhouse, I give you $55, you bring me a steak, that's the portion that I get, I'm done, that's the exchange. Not at FOGO. It's all that you want for as long as you want it. And that's our experience with God's love. In every other relationship in our life, for sometimes necessary reasons, there are boundaries around the love that we experience. There are limits on how many times we can be forgiven. There are expectations of our behavior to earn that love. And for the most part, rightly so. But God's love for us is so different and so unique that it defies every other experience of love that we have in our lives and is wholly overwhelming and is unfathomable. And if there's nothing else that we take away from this series, I want it to be this. God's love for you is unlimited. It is unyielding. It is unwavering. It is unrelenting. It is unstoppable. He loves you fiercely. So this morning, here's the invitation. His arms are open wide, inviting you to jump in. Let me ask you this. What would your life be like? Bless you. What would your life be like if you truly believed that God loved you? What would your life be like if you truly believed that the creator of the universe has an unbounded affection for you that you can never interrupt? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning knowing that you were as loved and as affirmed as a son or daughter of the king as you ever were? What would it be like if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't need anyone else's affection? You didn't need anyone else's approval. You didn't need anyone else to tell you that you were good enough because you knew that you knew that you knew that God loves you, that he affirmed you, that he has purposed you, that he has destined you. That he has assigned you these children to love. That he has assigned you this wife or this husband to love. That he has assigned you this workplace to go to and to be a minister in. That he has assigned you these things and he did that because he loves you. And you don't have to go earn it. He just does. What would tomorrow morning be like if you woke up and jumped two feet in into the pool with your heavenly father who loves you deeply and unyieldingly? Let's pray. Father, please convince us of this. Please show us this. Please help us rest in the reality of your love. Please help us accept what is so counterintuitive to us. That we do not have to perform for you that we do not have to put on for you or execute for you that we can even disappoint you and your arms are still open you still run to greet us you still love uscely. Would we this morning as we leave and as we sing and as we go experience just a little tinge of that relentless love that you have for us? Help us to accept it, to appreciate it, to embrace it, and to live in the reality of your love. In Jesus' name, amen.

© 2026 Grace Raleigh

Powered by Branchcast Logo