Well, good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks so much for making grace a part of your Sunday morning, a part of your January. I've enjoyed diving into this Ephesians prayer with you this month. This is the third part in our series called Rooted, where we're looking at a prayer by Paul over the church in Ephesus that we find in Ephesians chapter 3 verses 14 through 19. In the first week we looked at the act of salvation and how that's Paul's first priority in prayer for everyone that he encounters. And we talked about shaping our year around a similar priority for everyone that we would encounter. Last week we talked about the importance of going deep and developing deep roots in Christ. And this week, I want to give you what I believe is one of the most important ways that we can do that. One of the most important steps we can take in our life to intentionally develop deep roots. And I'll just say up front that this sermon is, I'm not sure that it's a sermon. Next week is a sermon. Next week, I'm going to light your faces on fire. Next week, I'm preaching. This week, I'm talking. This week, it's as if I can't sit down with every one of you over lunch or a drink and just casually discuss our faith and our journey and spirituality. But I have been able to do that with some of us and some friends outside of church. And we've had some frank discussions about small group, about conversations, about what really helps and what really drives growth. About what moves us and stirs our souls and about how we can connect ourselves to things that do that more so that we can pursue God with more fervor and more earnesty and with more depth. And so what I want to do this morning is kind of share with you a thought that I've been having for probably the last three or four months about something that I think everyone who's a Christian needs to do. And I honestly think, I know that this is, well, I was going to say this is kind of optimistic, but only if you think my other sermons are impactful. So maybe it's not optimistic at all, but I think that this could be the single most impactful one for you this year if you hear what I say and you agree with me and we take steps to do what we're going to talk about. So with that preamble, let's look at the prayer. Now this week is a little bit of a departure from the prayer because I believe in the middle of the prayer there's this almost parenthetical phrase, this parenthetical claim or reminder that Paul makes who writes the prayer. And so we're going to look inside that parenthesis today and wonder why does he say that and what does it mean? What are the implications for us? See if you can find it with me as we read Ephesians chapter 3 verses 14 through 19. established in love may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know the love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. That's the prayer. Next week we get to the climax of the prayer. What does it mean when Paul prays that we would know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that we would be filled with the fullness of God? I've spent two solid weeks trying to wrestle those phrases to the ground, and I'm excited to share with you next week. But before we get there, in the middle of this prayer, there's almost this just parenthetical reminder. And I know on the screen it says something different, but it says all the Lord's holy people. But in this NIV, apparently NIVs are different too. Who knows? I can't win for losing. But this, it says along together that you would have the strength to comprehend. And then here's a comma together with all the saints. What is the love of Christ that He doesn't have to include that little along with all the saints in the prayer. You can read the prayer without that. And it still means the same thing. He's still hoping for the same thing. He still wants the same thing for the church in Ephesus. He still wants the same thing for you and for me. Nevertheless, he pauses in the middle of it to almost remind them that there is a big C church. There are other believers going on. It's not just in Ephesus. It's not just about you. He pauses to remind them parenthetically, I believe, in the prayer, along with all the saints. He pauses to remind them that Christianity is inherently communal. This faith, if you're here and you call Christ your Savior, then the faith that you and I share together is inherently communal. It was always, always, always intended to be lived out in community. And I know that this is true because the communal nature of the Bible jumps off the page when you read the New Testament. I want to take you to Acts chapter 2. If you have a Bible with you, turn to Acts chapter 2. We're going to be looking at verses 42 through 47 for just a little bit of context of what's happening when we read these verses. This is the very beginning of the church. This is the genesis of what you and I understand as the church. This is when worship in the Jewish culture and this culture moved away. They departed from the synagogue. They departed from the sacrifices. They departed from the old ways and they started figuring out a new way to meet and to gather and to be the church. The context in Acts chapter 2 is that Jesus has come to earth. He's lived a perfect life and he's died a perfect death. He resurrects himself from the dead. He spends 40 days with the disciples and then he ascends heaven, and he says, I want you to go hang out in this room until you feel like you know what to do. And so they're hanging out in this room going, gosh, I don't know what to do. Do you know what to do? They're like going, I don't know what to do at all. So then they just hang out in the room, and then the Holy Spirit descends on them in tongues of fire. This is the event of Pentecost. Now they feel like they know what to do. They go out on the front porch. They preach the Word of God. They tell the story of who this Jesus was that we just saw killed and then resurrected. They tell his story. And everyone present hears it in their native tongue. This is the gift of tongues that we see in the New Testament. And thousands of people are saved. They say, what do we need to do to be saved? We agree with you. And Peter says, repent and be baptized. The fundamental repentance of Christianity. Repent of who you thought Jesus was. Acknowledge who he is. He's the Lord and Savior of the universe. And be baptized. And then they did that. They were added to the church. So now the church is a couple thousand people strong. And they're going, what do we do? In verses 42 through 47 of Acts chapter 2, we see what characterizes the early church. We need to know that what we have, what we see in here is called descriptive, not prescriptive. It describes the early church. It does not prescribe for us everything that we are to do. One of the things you'll see in here is that they sold everything they had and they shared it in common. They lived literally communally like that. The reason they did that is because the church in Jerusalem was in a time of significant poverty. There was a huge disparity between some of the people in the church. And so they helped those who were in need. The church in Jerusalem was in such a tight spot that if you carefully read Acts and you study the life of Paul, what you'll find is that as he was going from place to place, he was also asking these churches in Ephesus and Galatia and Thessalonica for money so that he could take that money back to Jerusalem to support the saints there. So just keep in mind that what we see is not prescriptive. We should do everything here. It is descriptive. We should take the principles from here and apply them to our church. So if you want to know, is grace doing the right thing? Is grace the kind of church that Jesus would recognize if he were to show up here? What you do is you go back to the litmus test in Acts chapter 2, verses 42 through 47, and you read it. So we're going to read it together, all the verses, and then we're going to look at, to me, what jumps off the page of my head. Those who were being saved. Here's what jumps off the page to me when I read that. There's lots there. I could do a whole series on those verses. I just might one day. I've preached out of this passage a bunch of different times at this church and my previous church. This is home base for community in the church. But whenever I read this passage, what jumps off the page to me is that Christianity was never intended to be a solo exercise. Christianity was never, ever intended to be a solo exercise that we do on our own. It was never, listen to me, it was never intended to be a private faith. This idea that we don't talk about our faith or that we don't talk about our spirituality because my spirituality is between me and God. No, it is not. It was never intended to be just between you and God. And if you say that, how do I say this nicely? You're wrong. You're wrong. Our faith was always intended to be communal. It was never supposed to be a stoic solo exercise. That's private between me and Jesus. You won't find that kind of faith anywhere in the Bible. I'm not saying that the occasional solitude isn't important. We see all the time where Jesus goes off by himself to pray. But he prays so that he might come back and be ministered to and minister to. The times of solitude are to improve us for our times of community. Christianity was never intended to be a solo exercise. If you read the New Testament, you can't help but conclude that that's true. I would defy you to read the New Testament and not come away with the distinct impression that my faith is to be lived out in community with others. At Grace, we ardently believe this. That's why our mission statement is connecting people to Jesus and connecting people to people. Because we simply don't believe that you can become everything that you are in Christ. That you can grow to the fullness of what he wants for you. Developing your gifts, walking in maturity, being rooted and grounded in love. Oh. Who was going to tell me? I saw you two laughing and I was like, oh, were you doing it? Oh, geez, old Pete. How long? How long was that there? Since the lights came on? Okay. Well, listen, you guys have been paying attention great. So good job. And that also makes me feel better because I saw Taylor and Wes laughing, and I thought, oh, no. I know I checked my fly before I came up here. What was I talking? Solo. That's where I'm at? Thank you. Let's pray. Let's go home. We're having BLTs today. I'm excited. You can't read the New Testament. That's so great. No one's going to remember anything I say. That was the bug sermon. Yeah, it was the bug sermon. All right. All right. Let's get ourselves together. Christianity was never intended to be a solo exercise. We cannot read the New Testament and not see the communal nature of our faith jumping off the page. One of the places that we see it show up over and over and over and over again in different ways is in the one and others. I know that if you've spent any time in the New Testament, you've seen the one another commands. We should love one another. We should forgive one another. We should encourage one another. We should outdo one another in honor. We should show humility to one another. We should show hospitality to one another. We should be welcoming to one another. We should confess our sins to one another. Over and over and on and on, we see these all through, especially the New Testament. Jesus has some commands for us. Paul has some commands for us. And the other general epistles have some commands for us. The other authors, it's all over. It's universal. There are these one another commands. And I've spent a lot of time in the last several months thinking about these one another's and the implications in the church. One of the studies that I've written for us for our discipleship pathway that we're going to start to use and deploy in August of this year. That's the goal as we try to build some other stuff up. There's a whole eight-week study that I've written on the one and others and how we can be obedient to them. If you Google it, depending on which list you click on, there's 56 or there's 72 or there's however many, but there's more than 50 one another commands in the New Testament, showing us that Christianity is inherently communal. And as I look at the one another commands, I see them in concentric circles of possibility. I see some that you can do for everybody, some that you can do for a few, and some that you can do for a core. And so I want to look at those today and talk about the implications of this as we ask, how can we leverage Christ's community for our personal growth and for the growth of others as we seek to be obedient to the one another's admitting that our faith is inherently communal? And I promise that all of this will make sense as we move through it. So if we look at the one another's as concentric circles in which we can be obedient to them. The first set that I want to look at I'm calling church one another's. Church one another's. These are one another's that we can do for everyone at the church. Anyone that walks through the doors, we can be obedient to these one another commands for everyone in the whole church. If you have your notes, if you have a bulletin, today was a really great day to have a bulletin because I have all of these detailed in your bulletin for you so that you can have the examples and so that you can know I'm not making these up. I even gave you some references. In the church one another's, I put love one another, honor one another, welcome one another, and then just a few more, show hospitality, have fellowship, live in harmony. To love somebody, now certainly that's an intimate thing, but to love someone the way that Christ loves us, we love them sacrificially, we love them wanting what's best for them. I can love everybody who walks through these doors. I can love anybody in the way that I want what's best for you. I can try to love you sacrificially if I need to. I park far away. I don't know if that counts. We can love everybody here on a Sunday. We can welcome everybody here on a Sunday. We can all do that. We can show hospitality to anyone who walks in these doors. There's some one another's that we can do with everybody. But there's some that if we're being honest, we really can't do them for, we can't be obedient to those one another commands for everybody in the whole church, especially not in an effective way. And for those, I'm thinking of those as small group one another's. Small group one another's. That's the next concentric circle. I think of things like forgiving one another and bearing with one another, comforting one another, caring for, encouraging, instructing. If we look at those and we think about what they require, this admonition to forgive one another. Certainly, we can forgive people at the church community level if they've done something wrong or committed a sin or made a misstep or whatever. We can forgive. But I would just mention that that sort of forgiveness isn't really challenging. If you did something over there to offend your kids or your spouse or your friends, and I don't really know about it, I just heard about it, it's really easy for me, being separated from that situation, to go, I forgive you. God restore you. At the small group level, these families that we do life with, when they do something boneheaded and we have to forgive them, that's a little bit more challenging. So that one another and the challenge to that one another shows up, I think, at a more intimate small group level than it does at the whole church level. I love this one, bearing with one another. That literally means putting up with one another. You don't have to bear with somebody until you spend one night a week with them and their picadillos and their quirks and their questions and the way they go about their things, right? You guys who are in small groups, which is most of you, you know there's people in your group you have to put up with. If you can't think of anyone, someone's thinking of you. They just have quirks. They just have ways about them. But we love each other and we offer each other grace. And those things are okay here. We have to bear with one another in those small groups in ways differently than the general mill you. I put comfort one another there because it's one thing when someone offers an impersonal, I'm praying for you. When someone just gives you a hug and says, looks like you needed that. When someone says, I hope this works out well for you. That's fine. But when it comes from a friend, it means more. When it comes from someone who actually knows what you're walking through, it means more. And all of these reasons are reasons why we need small groups. They're reasons why we say, if you're not in a small group, you're not experiencing everything God has for you. We need to be in those groups. If you're here and you're not a part of a small group, I know that Kyle gave a pitch beforehand. It was very good. I would really love for you to prayerfully consider joining a small group. I just, I've been doing ministry now for 20 years. I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone flourish spiritually who never walked alongside other people in their church. I know I've never seen anyone get connected and stay connected to a church without a group of friends at that church. And we need the connectivity of small groups. We need these groups. We need them to connect us. And so if you're not a part of one, I really hope you'll prayerfully consider being a part of one. The other thing I would mention is if you look through the catalog at the information table, and you can call that table whatever you want. There's two tables out there. One has coffee, one has paper. Go to them. But if you look through that and you don't see one that works for you, would you email Erin Winston? She's essentially our associate pastor. Pastor in charge of small groups as well. Will you email her? Because she might know about some that aren't on there that would be a good fit for you. We'd love for you to join a small group because we can't be obedient to all the one another's on the church level. But even as I say we'd love for you to join a small group, I would also admit that there are some one another commands for which small groups are simply inadequate. And those one another's, the deepest core of one another's, I'm calling intimate one another's. Intimate one another's. These are one another's that cannot be done at the small group level. And I think, I think one of the great sins, and this is where I'm just kind of talking with friends now, I think one of the great sins and errors of the church over the last two decades is insisting over and over again that the small group provide for these kinds of one another's when it is simply not equipped to do it. I think one of the great sins of the evangelical church in the last 20 years, and there's a lot, so I'm going to say one of the great mistakes, not one of the great sins, because I'm not going to put this on par with other ways that we've screwed up. One of the great errors we've made is putting all this pressure on small groups to help with these one another's for which not only are they not equipped to help, but it would be wrong if they did. One another's like confess your sins to one another. Not bear with one another, but bear one another's burdens. When's the last time in your small group that someone just kind of lowered their head and shared in a moment of weakness, hey, I'm angry. I'm angry all the time. And I don't know why. But I do know that it's causing me to treat my family in ways that I regret. I do know that my kids don't get to see who I want them to see. I know that I'm not the husband for my wife that I need to be. And I don't know what's making me so angry. But I'm pretty sure I should go see a therapist about it. Will you pray for me and walk with me in this journey? Will you help me and come alongside me? When's the last time in your couples group, in your men's group or your women's group, somebody said something that vulnerable? What space do you have in your life for a conversation like that? When's the last time in a small group somebody confessed their sin by saying, you know, I have a co-worker that I'm attracted to. And I know that I shouldn't be. And I know that I shouldn't indulge it. And I haven't. But I'm skirting the line. And I just want to say it out loud here so that you guys can help me. Anyone saying that in your couples group? No. And here's the thing. If you say that kind of stuff in your couples group, stop it. You're making people uncomfortable. Don't do that. That's not the place. That's not the place. But do you see what I'm saying? You can't truly confess your sins in a small group. You need a different space for that. Here's what else you can't really do in a small group. We're told that we should bear one another's burdens. Well, do you know what I know? I can't bear your burdens until you tell me what they are. And nobody's telling each other what they really are in small group. And I'm not sure that we should. That's not a condemnation of small groups. But no one in small group is saying, you know what my burden is? I feel alone. I feel like I don't have anybody who knows me. I don't know what to do. I need friends. I need people that I connect with, who see me for me. You're not going to share that in a couples group. But we can't be obedient to the one another of bearing one another's burdens unless you trust me enough to tell me what they really are. Unless you trust me enough to say, man, I'm struggling. I am depressed. My life is a dark cloud. I have thoughts that I shouldn't. I'm not sure what to do or where to go. Sometimes I don't want to be here. Listen, there's a reason that the room is so quiet right now. It's because everyone in here knows that our souls need spaces like that where we can talk about those things. And we also know, those of us in small group, that it is not adequate for that. So my suggestion to you, what I want you to do in light of that truth, is to understand this. Everyone needs a second place. A sacred space. Everyone needs a sacred space. And I call it a second place because to me, I think everybody needs to be in two groups. Everybody should be in two small groups, especially, and listen to me, leaders and elders, especially leaders and elders. Because if anyone's going to start confessing junk in your small groups, it's not going to be you. Because Tom Hanks taught us in Band of Brothers that crap goes downhill, not up, right? You leaders, you elders, you can't share in your groups what you need to share sometimes. You more than anybody need two groups. But we all need two groups. And I know that that feels audacious for me to tell you that you need to be in two small groups. Like, Nate, I'm barely holding it together. I can barely get to my one small group on time. And a lot of times we just pretend that the kids are sick so we don't have to go. Like, it's a lot. If you're laughing, you've done it. I heard Liz Roberg very loudly. I know it sounds like a lot, so here's what I want to offer you. That second small group, that sacred space, it can and should look unconventional. If you get together once a week trying to have that level of depth of conversation, it's going to exhaust you so much that you're going to quit very quickly. It needs to look unconventional. It needs to be a small group of people. As I was preparing the sermon, I realized that I have one, which is really nice. So I don't have to feel convicted like you. I'm doing it. Yay. The last Thursday of every month, I meet with a current elder and a former elder. We get together at somebody's house. And when we walk into that space, we take off all of our hats. I'm not a pastor there. They're not elders. We are men who want to grow spiritually. We are men who want to encourage one another onto good works. We are men who want to create safe spaces for confession. We are men who want to bear with one another and open that up to one another. And in that group, once a month, we ask two questions. What's God showing you? What's he teaching you? This is a good spiritual check-in question because in that is the implication of, I'm assuming you're reading your Bible. I'm assuming you're praying. I'm assuming you're listening. What's God teaching you? And sometimes the answer to that question needs to be nothing. I haven't been pursuing him, but I'm here. Great. There's space for that. But we ask, what's God been showing you? What's he been teaching you? And then we ask, where are you struggling? What's been harder for you? That's a space to say I'm angry. That's a space to say my marriage is really on its last leg. That's a space to say I feel really underappreciated in work or in my relationships or in my marriage. It's a safe space to do that. And here's what I've learned about those spaces. That all that they require is trust and respect. All they require is trust and respect. I think we're wired to think that spaces like that, that allow conversations like that to confess sin and to bear our burdens and to show what we're actually carrying and to actually be vulnerable and go deep, that those require deep friendships. And I don't think that's true. I was in an environment a month or two ago where there was just different people in the church, different guys in the church that I had had some really interesting conversations with. And I wanted them to be able to talk to each other. And so we found a night that worked for us. We got together at somebody's house and everybody had, the job was for everyone had to come with one question, one question that you want to hear an answer from, from everybody. And two of the guys had never even met each other. All three of them, I knew all three of them better than they knew each other. And two of them had never even met before. But because there was respect there and because there was trust there that you want what's best for me, once we started answering questions, they started ripping each other apart. The very first answer. The very first answer, I asked a question, somebody answered it, and somebody else looked at them and went, what does that even mean, man? That's just a platitude. Let's get to the bottom of that. They were not best friends, but there was trust and respect, and so we were able to go to levels that were deeper than normal conversations can go. You need a second space. That second space requires people you trust and respect. And now, here's a little bit of pushback that I think you could be offering in your head. If we were talking, I think these are the things you would say to me. First of all, you'd say, Nate, this feels a little like a one-sided conversation. I'd say, yeah, I'm sorry. But you would, there are some who think, I have that. I have that. I have my friends that I can call and I can have those conversations with when I need them. That's great. I'm so glad that you do. One of the big mistakes we make with those kinds of friendships is that we are not intentional enough with them. We wait until the warning light is on to pick up the phone instead of having those conversations regularly for maintenance. You follow me? I heard one pastor say that the reason to work on our marriage and talk about our marriage consistently is because we have a tendency to not want to talk about it until it's shattered on the floor in front of us. If you have those friendships in your life, men or women, that you can pick up the phone and you can have an intimate conversation with and say, hey, here's why I need prayer. Here's why I'm struggling. Here's what's going on. That's great. Just become more intentional with them. Talk with those two or three or four people. Pick a space monthly or quarterly where you can ask those two questions. What are you struggling with? What's God teaching you? Don't just let them idle and not take advantage of them. We need them in our lives. And I see good Christian friendships. Grace is really, really good at developing connections. I see friendships here abounding. You know what I'll tell you? After seven years of being your pastor, I do not see grace excelling at strategically using those friendships to leverage us towards spiritual growth. I see those friends existing as mechanics in our life that we call when the light comes on. But I don't see us very good at regular maintenance. So the assignment for some of you is to reach out to the friends that you have, the acquaintances that you have that you trust and respect, and get something on the calendar. Pick a rhythm, monthly or quarterly. Find a time to do it. Spouses prioritize it for one another, and it shouldn't be your spouse for obvious reasons that I will not go into. You need a sacred space this year where you can be obedient to all the one another's. You need small group. We should stay in small group. Some of you who've been coming here the last three to five years, you started coming to Grace. You got connected in a small group. Your kids now look forward to coming to church because their friends go to church. You look forward to coming to church because your friends go to church. It's what's kept you connected and rooted at Grace, and that's wonderful. So we need small groups. We can't just all go into our own inclusive, intimate groups of three or four that we never invite anyone into ever. So we need both things. So for some of you, you have rich, deep friendships where there's trust and love and respect. Please begin to intentionally leverage those for your spiritual growth rather than letting them idle by. For others, you're thinking to yourself, perhaps, yeah, man, I want exactly that. That sounds great. My closest friends are not believers. I don't know where I'm going to find that. First, start praying for it. I bet there's more opportunities than you think. Second, and I mean this sincerely, email me. Email me and say, hey, I want what you were talking about. I don't know where to look. And here's what I'll do. If I get two or three of y'all that email me in, I'll email y'all as a group and go, why don't y'all get coffee? And we'll figure this thing out. If you want that, you don't have it, you don't know where to go, pray about it. Let me know or somebody and let's start pursuing this together. If you do this, if you begin to leverage your friendships with the people that you trust and respect for your spiritual growth and for their spiritual growth, I believe that 2024 will be a hugely spiritually impactful year for you. And that's why I think this may be the most important thing I say to you this year. As a pastor, as someone who cares about your spiritual health, find those places where you can go deep. Don't leave your small groups. We need small groups. But find a sacred space. And when you find it, be consistent in it. And if you find those and you start doing this, would you let me know? I want to hear the good stuff that happens in there. I hope you'll do it. Next week we're going to come back and wrap up this prayer and I'm very excited to share with you what's there. Let's pray and then Kyle's going to come up. Father, I thank you for friendships. I thank you for community. I thank you for the power of what it is, what it can do, what it means. Lord, we are adept here at making friends and connections. But God, would you convict us to take those deeper? Would you convict us to go further? Would you give us spaces where we can bear one another's burdens and we're willing to share what we are bearing? Would you create spaces where we can confess the sin that we struggle with, where we can shine light on the dark shadows and the corners of our life? Father, would you give us these spaces where we can flourish, we can know you, grow closer to you, be deeply rooted in you. So that we might know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge and that we might be filled with all of your fullness, Father. Give us a sacred space. In Jesus' name, amen.