Grace Raleigh Logo
Sign In
The tongue has the capability to do both great harm and tremendous good, which raises the question, How am I able to control what comes out of my mouth? In this weeks sermon we will be focusing on taming the tongue, and how the only answer is through our hearts.
Transcript
All right, good morning, everyone. As Steve said, my name is Kyle. I'm the student pastor here at Grace. And before I get started, not for nothing, when Aaron announced that we're starting kids back, your woos were very weak. So, I mean, I was just like, just sitting and just listening to a lot of weak woos. So you owe Aaron a much more hearty woo after the service is over. That's all I have to say. But I'm thrilled to be able to be up here this morning. I'm thrilled to be able to go through James as we are doing so as a church. I'm thankful to Nate who, you know, since I'm the student pastor, kind of tossed up the softball of being able to have the opportunity to talk about taming the tongue. I mean, certainly a very easy thing to be discussing and going through. Obviously, I'm kidding. But that's kind of as is the way of James. This morning, we're going to be going through James 3, mostly focusing on verses 3 through 8. If you have your Bible or if there's a Bible in front of you, I would love for you to grab that. I would love for you to go ahead and open up to that section as that is where we are going to be parked for this morning. As the video talked about last weekend that we watched in our introduction to James, the Bible Project put it as, James is a beautifully crafted punch to the gut. And I hate to tell you, but this is certainly no different. As we get into this, it's going to be pretty overwhelming to read, but I think we're going to get through it. So hopefully we can get through it together. Let me see some thumbs up. Yeah, good, good. Glad to hear it. Glad to hear you're with me. Let's go ahead and jump in. We're going to start with verse 3. Go all the way through verse 8 of James chapter 3. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. So I'm just going to let us all take a quick collective breath as we just read all of those verses together. That is certainly strong language. Those are certainly incredibly powerful images basically saying that the tongue is like the small bit inside of a horse that steers the horse and makes it turn anywhere you want it to go. That it's the rudder, the tiny rudder on a ship that regardless of wind, regardless of sea, you can change the direction of an entire ship with this small rudder. It's like a small spark that creates a giant forest fire that it can corrupt every part of us and it can corrupt anyone else who's around to get burned. And it's funny because these are beautiful illustrations, but they're pretty heightened. They're pretty strong, but as I read them, and the first time that I read through this, my response wasn't, man, James is wilding out right now. My response was, yes, certainly this is a lot, but I don't see any hyperbole here. As I read that, I kind of just shrugged, nodded my head and said, yeah, he's right. The tongue has immense and incredible power to do evil. I imagine that you guys probably feel the same way as I just got done reading and as you just got done reading along with me. I bet that none of you were like, okay, that seems a little bit intense. I can almost guarantee you everyone in here fully agrees with everything he just said. Why? Because we've experienced it. We've experienced someone using just a few words to completely light us on fire. We've experienced being completely broken down to our core because of a simple phrase uttered to us. Even more of a bummer, we know we've done it to other people. That in a moment of frustration, in a moment of a lack of willpower, whatever it may be, we slip up, we say something that you probably have those things that ring back in your mind right now that you still regret that you said five years ago. The author William Barclay, who wrote a commentary on James, puts it this way. He says, Once again, that's a big and that's a bold claim, but I don't see any lies there. The sin that comes out of our mouth is something that can have dire consequences, not only in that moment, but for years to come. And as he starts it, and as I think is so beautifully put, there is no sin into which is easier to fall, right? Because when we're wronged, when we're angry, when we're upset, when something happens to us, we want, and so often our knee-jerk reaction is to respond. Setting ablaze a large fire by a small spark. So what do we do? I mean, with how heightened this language, with how heightened this diction is, it feels like the only thing that we could possibly do is just stop talking altogether, right? The classic, if my tongue causes me to sin, let me cut it off. And I'm going to walk over here, as Nate has taught me, I'm going to go over here to say that while this is certainly not the purpose and the point of what I'm talking about, I do believe and I do think that there is very distinct and very clear merit and wisdom that comes from all human beings, but especially believers, knowing when to respond in silence, when to simply be quiet, when to simply hold their tongue and respond in listening as opposed to responding with being the first to say something. I don't say that to put you guys on blast. I say that to put myself on blast. If you look around and find anyone who I've ever been in a small group with or who's ever sat in a staff meeting with me, you will see emphatic nodding because Kyle is at the top of that list of people slash believers who needs to learn sometimes how to just be quiet. Thank you for that amen in the back. I love being made to feel great by my fellow staff members. But obviously we can't do that, right? Obviously we can't stop talking, we can't just cut out our tongues because that would hurt. But obvious issues of practicality aside, there's other issues with that. There's other issues with simply stopping and abstaining from talking. The main one is that the tongue's immense power isn't limited to evil, but also to do substantial good. Paul reminds us of this in Ephesians 4.29 as he writes, What Paul encourages us to do here and is all through Scripture. Every writer and the Lord himself and Jesus, they are encouraging us not simply to give up our evil discussions and our evil talking, but instead to replace those with good. Instead to replace those with speaking life and speaking love and speaking encouragement to any and every one of us around, and that doesn't happen if we just stop talking. The same commentator, William Barclay, puts it this way. He says, I'll say that again. Abstention from anything is never a complete substitute for control in its use. Simply abstaining from speaking isn't enough. The goal is not to be quiet. The goal is to be able to control the things that come out of our mouth so that not only are we getting rid of the evil that comes out of our mouths, but we are replacing it with good and with love and with all great things. So the question obviously is how? Because I know, I'm 100% certain that every person in this room, every person watching at home, every person wherever you are, has done just as I've tried to do in trying to do it, in trying to tame the tongue, in trying my very hardest to hold back the things that I'm feeling and instead to change those and to still show love to people, still encouraging people even when I don't want to. Trying my best to speak humility even though I feel a sense of arrogance or ego. Trying my best to live by the old saying of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. But what happens? We try to be silent or we try to replace our speech. We try to replace and hold back how we actually feel to instead be uplifting and encouraging, instead being loving. And that just builds up and it erodes our insides, it erodes our heart. And then at some point, whether it be the person who's actually causing you anger and frustration, or whether it just be the first person to look at you wrong that you just blow up on, right? Small words, huge fires. So what do we do? James in verse 8 literally says, no human being can tame the tongue. It would be incredibly unwise for me to stand up here and try to argue to you guys that he's wrong. It'd be unwise for me to say, yeah, you're the half-brother of Jesus, you wrote James, which is in the Bible, but I think, you know, like, I'm Kyle, I know more. But, what I will argue is I think that this statement, this claim that he makes is a bit more nuanced than how it sounds by simply reading it once. Growing up, if me, if myself, my brother, and my dad were all riding together in my dad's car, we were almost always listening to one of two cassette tapes. The first, License to Ill by the Beastie Boys. I think it probably won't surprise you that that's not the one that we're going to focus on this morning. We can talk about that afterwards. I'll pass you the mic and you can show me what you got. The other, probably the exact opposite, I guess, was this old sermon from 1995 by this pastor named Tony Evans that he gave at some men's conference. I'm sure anyone who's sitting here listening to me run my mouth, especially if you've never heard a sermon before today or like why in the world would anyone ever want to re-listen to a sermon? But I can assure you that this is a sermon to be listened to. This is a sermon to get excited about. Tony Evans has a way with illustrations and a way with both telling stories and connecting stories to this greater and larger point that I think is unparalleled and unmatched. This sermon is as entertaining as it is powerful. And as a three-year-old child, I'm sitting in this car just quoting along with Tony Evans this sermon. I'm hyping it up a lot. Reach out to me and I'll send it to you because I promise you I will not do this justice. But as I went through this and as I was preparing, I kept coming back to this story that Tony Evans opens his sermon by telling. The story starts off by him having a problem in his bedroom because he's got a crack in the wall of his bedroom. Can I get an aww? Yeah, that's a bummer, right? But hey, you know, easy fix. He reaches out to a painter. The painter comes. He says, my man, I've got a crack in the bedroom. Can you fix it? He said, yeah, of course. He does what he does to fix a crack in the wall. He replasters it. He paints it. It's all good. Beautiful wall. Zero cracks available. Everything's great. Pays him along the way. A month later, guess who's back? The crack. The crack is back. And so as he so eloquently puts it, somewhat evangelically ticked off, he calls the painter back. He says, sir, the crack is back. Can you please come fix it? So he apologizes. I'm sorry. I'll come and fix it. He goes, does his thing, replasters, paints it. Good to go. Month and a half goes by and the crack reappears. As he says, this time, this crack that is in the wall has been visited by all of its nieces and nephews. There are now a family of cracks living on his walls. So out of frustration, he goes, okay, clearly this painter has no clue what he's doing. Let me get another one. Calls another one. He's like, I've got cracks in my walls. Can you please come and fix it? The guy comes. He takes a look at the wall. He looks at him. He says, I can't help you. And he's like, sir, what do you mean you can't help me? You're a painter. He goes, yeah, but the problem is you don't have a problem with cracks in your wall. And to which Tony replies, to which Tony looks up quietly at the cracks in his walls. And as he says, he looks back at the crack standing in front of him, telling him he doesn't have a problem with cracks in his walls. And he says, sir, you see cracks. I see cracks. All God's children see cracks. How are you going to tell me I don't have a problem with cracks on my walls? And he says, I can fix this. I can replaster your wall. I can make it to where you don't have any cracks on your wall, but the problem is not with your walls. The problem is not with cracks. The problem is you have a shifting foundation. And until you fix your foundation, you will always be fixing cracks in your walls. Until you fix your foundation, you will always be fixing cracks in your walls. When it comes to our tongue, we try so hard. We try to edit our language. We try to replace how we feel with what we say. We try so hard to bury all of that down so that we can be as kind and as godly as possible when we have interactions and when we have conversations. We hold back our actual thoughts and our feelings. But the problem is that we don't have a problem with our tongue. And when we think we do, it's never going to be eradicated. You see, taming the tongue has nothing to do with the tongue. The tongue is simply a vehicle for the heart to speak. We attempt to tame our tongue through our own willpower and we focus so much on what comes out. We focus on the outside. We focus on the words that leave our mouths when our foundation, our hearts, are corrupted. If our hearts are harboring ill will, if they're harboring hatred, helplessness, negativity, arrogance, impatience, curses, and or doubts, we don't have a willpower that is strong enough to prevent the tongue from slipping up and expressing these things. If that evil rests inside of our hearts, at some point it's going to make its way out of our mouths. And until our hearts begin to reflect God's heart, we will never be able to control our tongues. And so the goal becomes our hearts. We have to fix our hearts or we can never fix our tongues. Taming the tongue is no longer about our speech. It's not about changing your speech. It's about allowing God to change our hearts. It's about allowing God to mold our hearts. It's about allowing Christ to come and to shape our hearts into what it should be. We give our hearts to Christ. We learn, we realize, and we continue to grow in our joyful understanding of the fact that God created every one of us. And even though we sin, even though we deserve hell, we deserve eternity in hell, God sends his perfect son to live and then to die in our place. All so that we can live forever with him in a relationship with him, our hearts are changed. And as our hearts are changed, they continue to be molded as we realize that this gospel truth that God created us, that God sent his son to die for me. That same gospel truth is also true of literally every single person you will ever make contact with. In the same way God created you, in the same way God loves you, in the same way that Christ died for you, he also did all of those things for every single person you will ever interact with. And when we start to look at people that way, as God's children, as our hearts are being molded into seeing people the way that God sees them, our tongues are going to respond in kind. No pun intended, because I think our tongues are going to also respond with much more kindness. And as we continue to read through the Gospels and read through Jesus's life and with the memory and with the knowledge that Jesus not only died for us, but he lived on earth to give us a measure of this is what it should look like for you to live. This is how you glorify God through your language. This is how you glorify God with the way that you see and the way that you treat people with the openness and with the grace that you show people and the love that you show each and every person. And our goal becomes just trying to be more Christ-like. And that starts at the heart. And it all culminates with constant prayer. As Nate talked about, what, two or three weeks ago, that we continue to keep God at the center of our hearts and we continue to think through and pray with him and have him on our minds, meditating in scripture and meditating in prayer so that God is always at the forefront because if God is at the forefront of our hearts and if he is at the forefront of our minds, I think it means we are going to speak differently. And when we allow God to change and to mold and to shape our hearts in this way, we are able to replace both in our hearts and in our speech, ill will and hatred with love, helplessness with hope, negativity with positivity, arrogance with humility, impatience with patience, curses with blessings, and doubt with faith. And most importantly, when our hearts have been transformed by the gospel of Christ, our tongues have no choice but to rejoice and to proclaim that gospel. Will you pray with me? Lord, I pray that as we try to glorify you in our words, in our actions, as we try to glorify you through our prayers to you, but God, also our words and our prayers, our words and just the way that we interact with any and everyone. The way we talk to people, the way that we talk about people, the way that we talk about ourselves. Lord, I pray that we put aside and we stop worrying about and we stop trying to fix our tongues by simply our own power and our own willpower because, God, we know it's never going to work. God, instead, allow us to come to you. Allow your heart to shape, mold, impact our hearts, God. Allow our hearts to look more like yours so that our speech can do the same. We love you. Amen.

© 2026 Grace Raleigh

Powered by Branchcast Logo