All right. Well, good morning, everyone. It's good to see you. Thanks for being here. Happy New Year's. I'm so grateful that you've chosen to make grace not just a part of your Sunday, but by being here the first Sunday of the year, you're at least, some of us are going, and you know, I didn't go to church enough last year, so I'm going to come more this year. Great. Go Bills back there, by the way. Go Bills up here. By the way, who do you all play in today? The other team. I hope you beat the other team. That's great. And today's a fun day for me as a Falcons fan because all you jerk Panthers fans that cheer for an Arena League team now have to cheer for my team so you can make the playoffs. So go Falcons today. Yeah, we can get behind it. Yes. All right. Good deal. Well, listen, thanks for making church a part of your year and a part of your Sunday. I hope we don't let you down. If you're watching online, wherever you are, whatever you may be doing, thank you for doing that. This is the time of year where everybody, for the most part, assesses the person that they are and thinks about the kind of person that they'd like to become or that they'd like to be. And so this is the time of year when we tend to set goals for ourselves, whether you're comfortable with the idea of New Year's resolutions or just in general setting goals that we have for ourselves, this is the time of year when we do that. If you haven't thought about that, if you're not doing that, if this has not occurred to you, then I can only assume about you that either you think you're nailing it, like you're just so good at life, no notes, no changes. I hope the next year is just as good as the last four years. And if that's you, you're a jerk. All right. There's some notes for you. Or you've given up, which I wouldn't blame you for. But maybe let's try to log in and set some goals and think about the kind of people that we want to be in the new year. We've done that in our house. We've set some goals. Jen wants to be a more supportive and loving wife, and I'm so grateful that she has set that goal for us this year. I'm trying to be a more accepting husband of her faults. And so in that way, we're hoping for a better marriage in 20... I'm so sorry, Jen. I'm sorry for all of that. So in that vein, in thinking about how we want to be in the new year, the series that we're going to be in for the next four weeks is simply called You'll Be Glad You Did. And what we're going to do is look at some proverbial wisdom from the book of Proverbs written by King Solomon, who is, we are told, the wisest man to ever live. And just look at his wisdom and with the premise of if we'll simply listen to him and take his advice this year, we'll be glad we did. And one of the reasons I wanted to open the year with it is simply this. I don't know where you are spiritually. I don't know where you are on that journey. I don't know how much of what we're selling you're buying, I don't know. Many of you who are here are Christians. You would call yourself a Christian. God is your Father. Jesus is your Savior. Wonderful. Some of you may be kicking the tires going, is church worth it? When I get to talk to those people, I used to lead high school Bible studies. I was close with the high school football coaches at my last church, and I would go lead Bible studies for the football teams, optional, after practice on a certain day of the week. And I would always start with them with Proverbs. Because in Proverbs, you don't have to believe in everything to follow the advice that we find there. But here's what I will posit to you. If you listen to the wisdom of Solomon in Proverbs, you'll be glad you did. I hope that you'll listen to that wisdom. And for those of you who don't yet know Jesus, I hope that by listening to that wisdom, it gives you more trust in the other words in this book, and you come to faith in Jesus, and you come to call yourself a Christian and believe in God as your Father and Jesus as your Savior, because you entered in from this perspective of Proverbs, which is simply, if we listen to the wisest man who's ever lived, who points us towards Jesus, we will be glad we did. So that's all I'm inviting you to do today. And this morning, I'm particularly excited about the topic, because it's one that is very dear to me. And so I'll just say this up front. Here's my goal this morning. I'm going to say this and then preach to it. And we'll return to it in 25 minutes or so. But here's my goal for you this year. Set some friend goals this year. We all have goals that we're setting. I hope you do. I hope there are things that you want to accomplish in your life. I hope there's some goals that you're setting for yourself. I'm going to exercise. I'm not going to eat sugar. I'm not going to drink this. I'm not going to ingest that. I'm going to show up at work and actually care about what I'm doing. Whatever it is that might be your goal, I hope you're setting some goals this year. But what I would like to encourage you to do is to set some friend goals this year. And this is something that means so much to me. I never, and you guys who have been here a long time, you know this to be true. I never ever establish myself as moral exemplar. I'm the pastor. Don't giggle, Zach. I'm making a point. This is important. Shut up. I never approach talking to you as if I am on some moral high ground and I'm trying to help you get on my level. Ever. I think that's disrespectful. I've actually said that I live my life the way that I do as a favor to you so it's easy to not put me on a pedestal. I'm helping you in that way. That's why I cuss. Just not on stage. But here's what I would say about this one this week. I know how to be a good friend. I know how to be a friend. Friendship is one of the most important things to me in my life. As a matter of fact, I've told Jen, you can ask her afterwards, because the other thing I said about her is absolutely not true, but this is true. I've told her, in the case of my untimely demise, the only thing I want on my headstone, if we can afford one, is Nate was a friend. That's what I want. Nate was a friend to his wife, to his church, to his co-workers, to his children, to his parents, to his friends. Nate was a friend. It's deeply important to me. And I hope that friendship is deeply important to you. And here's what I would say as a person who is fortunate enough to have some good, deep friendships. As a matter of fact, Jen and I were driving back this Christmas. Excuse me. We were driving back home. When you come from Atlanta, really it's from Athens, there's two ways to come home. The fast way is to come just straight 85, and we do that every time. But this time, judge me if you'd like, and you probably should, but we chose to go the long way, 20 to Florence and then 95 north. Do you know why? Who knows why? Who knows why we went that way? Does anybody know? Buc-ee's. Yes, ma'am. Buc-ee's. That's why. We wasted 30 minutes of our lives so that we could take our children to Buc-ee's and buy beef jerky that I still have at the house. No, I will not share it because it was hard-earned. It was a stupid decision. I'll never make it again. But as I was driving, I had set my cruise at 8 over. That's just what I do. I set it at 78. I don't know if our resident highway patrol officer is in the crowd, but I don't think he would pull me over for that. I set it at 78. So I'm going, and I'm speeding. I know I'm speeding, but I'm not speeding by a lot. Like, come on, get over it. It's fine. I'm just trying to get home. And I pass a cop. And, of course, I'm in my rearview mirror. Is this cop following me? Am I about to get pulled over? And so then I start the doom spiral. If he pulls me over, I don't have a license. Okay? I have a license. I'm a licensed driver. Don't worry about that. I just lost it. And I lost it weeks ago. And I went online. Get this. This is just my personal complaint. This doesn't need to be in a sermon. I'm just telling you. I went online to try to replace my lost license. And as a part of that, they asked me for my license number. How am I going to know that? I lost it. Do any of you take a picture of your license and save it just in case? Like, no. So I don't have a license right now. Okay. And I'm like, if I get pulled over, he's going to ask for my license and I'm going to have to say, I don't, I don't have one officer. And then he's going to say, and this is further judgment, I understand. Then he's going to say, well, do you have a proof of insurance? I'm going to say, no, I don't carry that around. I assume you have a database you can look it up in. And then at that point, he's going to arrest me in front of my family. He's going to pull me out of the car and he's going to put handcuffs on me and arrest me in front of my family. At this point, I'm about in Goldsboro, North Carolina, just past Fort Bragg. I have no idea how Fort Bragg and Fayetteville has that many exits on 95. Jen and I felt like we were in a Twilight Zone doom loop coming home trying to get through Fort Bragg. But we had just gotten through and I'm like, I'm going to get arrested and they're going to take me to jail and I'm going to look at Jen and I'm going to say, let's just be calm, just take it easy, just get the kids home. We don't need to upset them for this. I'm going to be fine. They're going to take me to jail. And I thought to myself, who am I going to call? And I thought, I'm going to call Harris Winston. I'm going to call Harris. Because I know if I call Harris, I'm going to say, hey, dude, I'm in jail in Goldsboro. I need you to come bail me out. And Harris, at 9 o'clock at night, is going to go, and I would have called Chris, except I knew he'd be asleep. That's useless. I knew that Harris would be like, all right, dude, I'll see you in 45 minutes. And come down there and bail me out, no questions asked. And then in the car, as we're driving home, he would go, what did you do? I know I have those kinds of friends. Everybody needs those kinds of friends. The people you can call at any hour of the night who will show up and help you. There's this great line from a movie, and I don't remember the movie or the actors, but I just know that the main character walks into a room and says something to the effect of, hey, I need you to come with me. We're going to hurt some people and do illegal things, and you can't ask any questions about it, or you enter out. And the person that he's speaking to says, whose car do you want to take? Those are the kinds of friends we need. I'm not standing here supporting your illegal activities. I'm just hypothetically saying if you wanted to engage in them, you need some friends who will without asking questions. We need those kinds of friends in our life. But here's what I know. And I have those and I'm so grateful for them. But here's what I know about friends. Okay? Friends are like children. They are fundamentally inconvenient. Okay? Friends are like children. They are fundamentally inconvenient. You'll hear this side isn't laughing because you think it's inappropriate. This side that has young children is they're all giggling because they know it's true. I heard a comedian in an interview on a podcast say that children are fundamentally inconvenient, and I thought, well, that's absolutely true. John and Lily, my two children, they inconvenience me every day. They're looking forward to inconveniencing me when I'm done doing this. But friends are like that. They're fundamentally inconvenient. Just this last weekend, John and Lily had some friends over. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call them Chandler and Jackson Johnson. And they were over, and John comes downstairs crying. Jen had absconded and gone to the grocery store, leaving me with the children by myself. And I was watching them diligently. And John comes downstairs and is upset and he's crying. And I said, what's wrong, buddy? John's four and a half, so when you're four and a half, you cry about anything with no regard to reality. And I said, what's wrong, buddy? And he said that he was upset and I got it out of him. He was upset because Jackson wasn't playing right. Because John got a castle for Christmas that had knights and a wizard and a king and a queen and a dragon, and they all have certain roles to play. And in John's mind, clearly the dragon's the enemy attacking the castle. But he had decided that the wizard was team dragon instead of team castle. And Jackson really was ardent in his belief that the wizard was pro-castle and anti-dragon, which I've got to say, I think Jackson's right on this one. But he wasn't playing right. Meaning, he's not playing the way I want him to play. He's not listening to me and letting me boss him around. And I told him, yeah, son, that's what friends are. They don't always play right. But if you want to be a good friend, then you have to learn to play the way that they want to play. And this doesn't change as adults. Our friends don't always play right. If you go golfing with your friend, they might reach a level of anger that is unwarranted based on their level of practice. But you have to deal with it because they may not know how to play right. They may play too fast or too slow. I say, when you golf and you address the ball, the longer it takes you to hit it, the better that shot needs to be. Otherwise, just be bad quickly and let's move forward. Some of our friends don't gossip enough for our tastes. All right? We like to get some more deets. Some gossip too much, and we're like, that's enough, and I don't trust you. Some friends show up late. Some friends, like Keith Cathcart, when he texts you, will text you 95 times in a row until you have to silence the messages because I'm doing other stuff, Keith, and I don't care about the Steelers right now. Thank you, Jeff. Our friends don't play right, but it's still worth it to invest in them. It's still worth it to have them. And we still need to consider who our friends are. And that's not something that I just think from living life. That's something that has been ingrained in me since I was a child. And it starts with this verse in Proverbs 13, verse 20, which says, Now, when I memorized it, I memorized it this way. The companion of the wise will become wise, and the companion of fools will suffer harm. Growing up in my house, what was told to me over and over again is this simple thought, which is simply, show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. Statistically speaking, it's true empirically that we become the average of the five people that we spend the most time around. And so this morning, as we begin the year, I want to ask you, who are your closest friends? Who's the person you would call if you got arrested in Goldsboro? Who's the person that you could call in the middle of the night that would answer their phone and show up where you needed them to be? Who are the people that when your spouse goes out of town and you want to have a fun hang, you go, hey, and you text, let's do steaks, let's go out, let's play golf, let's go watch a movie. Let's go, I don't know what girls do. Let's brush each other's hair for fun. Whatever it is. Who are the people that you call and say, I've got some free time. Let's hang. Who are those folks? Who are the people that on Christmas you texted? Said, hey, I'm grateful for you. Merry Christmas. Who are the people on January 1st you texted? Hey, I'm grateful for you. Happy New Year. Who are your friends? Not your acquaintances. We all have acquaintances. Who are your friends? Who are the people that show up for you no matter what? Who are the people that you love? And here's this. This is going to be harder for the men than the women. And you may reject it on its face. That's fine. That's your issue to deal with in therapy. Who are the people that you have told them, I love you? I love you. I'm grateful for you. Men, men, be man enough to tell the people in your life that you love that you love them. Make sure they know. And make sure you show it. And so this morning I'm asking you, men and women, who are the five people that you spend the most time with? Who are you becoming like? Who is shaping you inexorably into the person that you are becoming? Because I remind you, and I'm asking you that question here at the top of the year, so you can think about it as you go through 2026. Who are the people that you spend the most time around who are shaping the person that you are becoming? Here's why I ask this and why I think it's important and worth talking about on Sunday. I say to you often, I quote this verse all the time. It's one of my favorite ones, Ephesians 2.10. You are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works before time that you might walk in them. Parents. Phil, nodding your head. Your son Wyatt is 10. Is he 10 yet? A couple weeks. Lily, too. Do you know what my job is and your job is? It's not to get them to behave as a 10-year-old, although you're doing great at that. No thanks to faith. It is your job and my job to help Wyatt and Lily identify their good works and empower them to walk in those. Man to man, I'm emotional as I say it. You guys too. That's our job. How do we help our children identify their good works and walk in them? That's the job of parents. Your job as adults, what are your good works? What did God create you to do? And how might you walk in them? Whatever those are. And I'm not here today to expound on that or articulate upon those. But I want us to capture that idea. Because as we think about our friends, I think this question is important. Who can I surround myself with that will help me become the person God created me to be? Who can I surround myself with that will help me become the person that God created me to be. Now I was talking to Jen about this sermon this week and she made a great point to me to answer this question. Who can I surround myself with that will help me become the person that God created me to be? If it is true that I become the average of the five people that I spend the most time with, then who should I be spending my time with? And here's what she says is the mark of a good friend. A good friend listens to everything you have to say. You go get dinner, you call on the phone, whatever it is, you go grab a drink and you're talking and you say everything you need to say. Here's what's happening at work. Here's what's happening in my marriage. Here's where I don't like my kids. Here's what's going on with other people in my life. Here's all the things. And you just kind of unload, right, on your friend because that's what friends do. Friends listen. But here's the mark of a good friend. They don't just listen to you, but they hear you and then they take you and they point you back to Jesus. I hear all of that. I'm so sorry for what's happening at your work. I'm so sorry that your husband or your wife is disappointing you in that way. I'm so sorry that your kids are so difficult in this season of life. I'm so sorry that that amount of stress is on you right now. That's a big decision that you have to make, and I'm not sure I can correctly advise you on how to make it. But where do we see Jesus in this? Where do we see him talking to us? Where is he guiding you spiritually? What do you think God's plan is in this? What do you think God's purpose is in allowing this to go on in your life? Let me tell you something. That's another level of friend. And that's what I want you to have. Is the people that you go to and you say all the things you need to say and they hear you and they listen and then they love you enough to grab your face. Theoretically. Hopefully they're not grabbing your face. That's weird. But they love you enough to grab your face and orient it towards Christ. And say, what is he teaching you through this? Those are your true friends. Those are the ones that you can walk through fire with. Those are the ones that you need. So who do you have in your life who can grab you and hear you, who will answer the call at 3 a.m., who will come bail you out of jail if you need it, who will engage in illegal activities if they benefit you, but at the end of all of that will grab your face and point you towards Jesus. Who do you have in your life that will do that? And here's what I would say before moving on. The only thing worse than having bad friends is having no friends. The only thing worse than having bad friends is having no friends. Maybe you're sitting here this morning and I'm asking you to do a friend inventory. And you're thinking about the people in your life that you could call, the people in your life that you talk to. And you're like, man, they don't point me towards Jesus. If anything, they point me away from Jesus. They don't help me spiritually at all. I don't have good friends in my life. My friends don't point me towards him. They're not good friends. They're bad friends. They discourage me. But here's what I would tell you. At least you have some. The only thing worse than having bad friends is having no friends. I came across a statistic recently and I double checked it because it sounded absurd. But there are more people every year that die due to loneliness than people who die due to lung issues dealing with smoking. Meaning, it is statistically true that it is more dangerous to not have any friends than it is to smoke a pack a day. By being lonely, you are more at risk for mortality than you are if you smoke a pack a day. Which brings me back to this idea of needing friends. This is the whole ethic of grace, by the way. Every week we say from stage, at Grace we exist to connect people to Jesus and connect people to? Yes. This is the whole ethic of grace. I tell my non-believing friends, even if you don't buy what we are selling, it's best for you and your family to come because of the benefits you get from the community, of people investing in you and you investing in them. And I hope, as I say that, that eventually they'll believe what we believe. But even if you don't, it's better for you and your family to be a part of a church so that you're engaged in friendships, so that people look out for you, people care about you and point you towards Christ. So two thoughts quickly there. If you are someone who would say, and this is, I've done some research on it, this is largely, this is more prevalent in the male community than the female community. There's a preponderance of men in their 60s who report, I have no one that I would call a close friend. It's so sad. There's even more men that would say, I've made no new friends since my 20s. Men are bad at being friends. Do you know why? Because other people don't play right. Because you're five. That's why. You're a dope. Sorry, I don't mean that. I don't mean that. Men have a hard time making friends because to be a true friend requires some emotional vulnerability. We have to put ourselves out there. We have to share our weaknesses. And we have to trust that we're going to be met with kindness. Men are taught not to show weakness, not to show need, to be self-sufficient, to take care of ourselves. And those things are not conducive to real friendship. To be a friend, Proverbs says, to be a friend, you must show thyself friendly. We have to do that. And so, men, here's what I would tell you. Leaders lead in vulnerability. You want friends? 2026? Go make some. Put yourself out there. Invite somebody to lunch. Dude, that's going to be weird. What if they tell me that they don't want to eat lunch with me? Well, then they're not going to be your friend. Be a grown-up. Invite the next person. We need these people in our lives. And here's the other place where I would challenge you, men and women alike. I'd be willing to bet that you have people in your life that you know and you care for and you respect and you wish you were better friends with them. I bet that's true. I know that's true for us because yesterday, out of conviction, I texted another couple in the church and I said I said hey tomorrow I'm going to be preaching about friend goals and you guys are ours we love you and don't spend enough time with you or your family can you come over and hang out the only thing I'm going to ask is that you not wear Panthers gear when you come and they wouldn't even agree to that So I don't know if we're off to a great start. But I bet you have people in your life that you respect and you know would point you towards Jesus and would listen to your things. But because of your own insecurities, because of your own uncertainties, because friends are fundamentally inconvenient. I mean, listen, listen, listen. Sometimes Tuesday Nate makes plans for Friday Nate. And when Friday Nate wakes up and is reminded of Tuesday Nate's commitment, he's ticked. Because I don't want to get, like I don't want to shower and go see you people. I don't want you to come over to the house that I now have to clean maniacally. I don't want to do that. Until you get there and then Friday Nate's happy again because now I'm with my friends. It's hard to spend the time that we should spend investing in relationships with other people, but it's absolutely worth it. And so this year I started out, set some friend goals. I bet you know people who you respect, who you care for, who would point you towards Christ, and maybe you're not as close with them as you'd like to be. Let me challenge you to take steps this year. Let me challenge you to engage in more new friendships. My friends who are over 50, okay? Just talking to my over 50 crowd here. When's the last time you made a new friend? Do you have some friendships in your life that are dear to you that have slipped away? That you could re-engage? Statistics tell me that that's very likely. Who are the people that you know already that you can engage with who will point you towards Jesus and be there for you? It's worth the investment and here's one of the big reasons why. Proverbs 24 6. Surely you need guidance to wage war and victory is won through many advisors. Now I'm not espousing that any of us are about to declare war. If I were preaching at a church in Washington, D.C., I might have to couch this a little bit differently, but in Raleigh, none of us have that capacity. But the point of the verse is not really about waging war. It's about doing the wise thing in the challenge that we're facing. And Solomon's point is, the more counsel that we have, the wiser choices that we will make. And when you have friends in your life who point you towards Jesus, they will offer you wise counsel, and that counsel is invaluable. It cannot be quantified. Just in 2025, and I'm not saying this to aggrandize myself and my friendships. I'm just saying it to be a real human. In 2025, I have friends that I texted at 7.30 in the morning and I said, I need to come over. I need to talk. And when I got there, they hugged me and we all cried because of stuff that was happening in my life. They were there for me, drop of a hat, in the morning. Those are friends. I have friends that I texted. I said, I just need to process some things. Can we do dinner soon? And within a night or two, I was having beef bourbignon at La Coquette, crying over our issues with a friend that made time for me. I have a friend in my life named Trip that when I call, he answers. And when he calls, I answer. No questions asked. He called yesterday. I was working. I said, hey, man, what's up? And he goes, nothing, I'm just bored. And I said, well, then I don't have any time for you. And I hung up on him. We have not talked since. I don't care to until there's a good reason for it. But if he calls today, I will answer. And so will he. We need those friends. So the simple message for you today, who are you getting counsel from? Who is loving you? Who is pointing you towards Jesus? And most importantly, what friends do you have that will take everything from you and at the end of the conversation say, yes, I hear you. What is Jesus saying to you in this moment? What people do you have in your life that you can turn to who will turn your face towards Christ? And what kinds of people should you be pursuing in 2026? Here's the question. Who should I be friends with in 2026? And here's my point. If you think about that critically and meaningfully and act on those decisions, you'll be glad you did. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for this church family, for bringing us together and allowing us to enjoy one another. God, thank you for friends and the gift that they are. Thank you for connecting us and giving us the capacity for love and relationship and friendship. Father, I ask that everybody here would have a friend that loves them dearly, that accepts them completely, and that points them towards Christ. May we all enjoy those kinds of friendships. And God, for those of us in this room who feel lonely, I pray that that would be solved this year and that would not be a thing that we need to carry forward. And for those of us who have put up walls and maybe don't have the depth of friends that we know that we need, God, would you help us to have the courage to tear those down and invite people into our lives who point us towards you so that we might become the version of ourselves that you intended us to be. In Jesus' name, amen.