Genesis 2

11 years ago, I revealed to my wife that I had been having an affair for a year and a half. She calmly responded, I love you. We can make it through this. Today we're going to be talking about marriage. My name is Steve Goldberg. I'm the worship pastor here at Grace Raleigh, and it's an honor to bring the third message in our series, I Want a Better Life, entitled I Want a Better Marriage. For those of you who are first-time guests with us today, or maybe you're not familiar with my story. Surprise! In addition to being the worship pastor here at Grace, my wife and I also started a non-profit called Side-by-Side Ministry about five years ago, where we share our testimony, our story, our journey from hurt to hope. And it's our mission to inspire and encourage hurting couples to value, nurture, and restore their marriages. Now, to give you a little background, when my wife and I got married, neither one of us was following our childhood religions. I was raised Jewish in Massachusetts, hence the name Goldberg. My wife was raised Lutheran in Wisconsin. Both of us came from broken homes. Lisa's parents divorced when she was two years old. My parents divorced when I was three years old. We did not have good role models for marriage in our lives. And so for me, I just thought that marriage was kind of the next stage in the relationship. And if it worked out, great. If it didn't, well, okay. So it's no surprise that when our marriage started deteriorating after the first few years, I wasn't all that committed. During that time, there was a big void in our marriage. Lisa chose to fill that void by going back to church. She joined an in-depth Bible study. She surrounded herself with Christian women. She rededicated her life to Christ. I, on the other hand, decided to spend as much time away from my marriage and my wife as possible. I filled my life with my friends, my band, and ended up having an affair for a year and a half. During that time when our marriage was not going well at all, before the reveal of my affair, we took a trip to Mexico. Now, to be a little bit more forthright, my wife actually begged me to go to Mexico. I did not want to go. Our friends were getting married at a destination wedding there, and I didn't want to do it. But she begged me, and I said, you know what? Okay, fine. I'll go. So here's a picture from that trip. Now, side note, this was taken a long time ago, okay? I mean, look at that hair. I mean, you know, like, look at the smiles there. Like, this was taken with a digital camera, like a legit digital camera. Like, I'm not saying that we invented the selfie, but like, we were definitely early promoters of it. So, you know, a little credit. So, but this trip was tough. It was very stressful for us. You would never know that this couple in this picture was barely talking to each other, and that in less than six months' time, they would be separated. The truth is that when you look at this picture, it reminds me that not everything is as it seems. And I'd be willing to bet that behind the smiles and the small talk here this morning, there are hurting marriages. Divorce is very common in our society. We know the statistic, half of all marriages end in divorce. People don't have the, they don't put the importance on marriage anymore. It's very much an individualistic society about your own happiness, your own pleasure. But the truth is, is that the fastest growing demographic of divorce is empty nesters, which is shocking. These people have spent their whole marriages, 20, 30 years, focusing on things other than each other. Maybe it's the kids, maybe it's the career, maybe it's something else. And when they get to the point where the kids are out of the house, they say, who are you? They don't have that connection anymore. You know, when Lisa and I went to a marriage intensive, it was run by a Christian ministry called Retrovive, went to this marriage intensive shortly after the reveal of the affair. We were shocked that we were among the youngest people there. Most of the people were in their 50s and 60s. In fact, check this out. There was one couple there that actually, this guy, this guy brought the divorce papers with him to the marriage intensive. And I can only figure that he was like, well, this way I can say I've tried everything, okay? But at the end of the intensive, we rejoiced with them as they tore up the divorce papers. It was an amazing moment, God working through that marriage. But sadly, that's not the case for all marriages. One of the things that we learned during this intensive was that there are four stages of a relationship. This was eye-opening for me. It's been eye-opening for couples that we've talked to over the years, and I think it'll be eye-opening for you today. In a relationship, there are four stages. The first stage is called romance. This otherwise known as the attraction stage, or my personal favorite, the euphoric stage. Okay, you know this stage. This is the stage where you meet someone, you fall in love, everything is perfect. I mean, the birds are singing, the sun's out. You know, this person can't do anything wrong. You can't wait to see them. You have butterflies in your stomach every time you think of them. When Lisa and I met, I was living in Boston, she was living in New York at the time. We met in Orlando at a wedding that was kind of like an extended vacation. I mean, most of the people in our age bracket that went down to this wedding stayed there for three, four days. I will never forget, on the first day, I walked into the room, and there she was, Lisa, right over here. And I remember when I saw her, my stomach sank. I mean, I think I lost my breath. My eyes opened. I just said, wow. Her recount of the situation is a little bit different, but you'll have to ask her about that. We know this stage. We know this stage. This is when you fall in love. This is great. During that stage, there are special hormones, chemicals that are released in our bodies that only happens during that time of that relationship. It will never happen again. And it only lasts for about 18 months to two years. The next stage of marriage, disillusionment. Disillusionment. This got sad quick, didn't it? Disillusionment. This is when our eyes are opened. It's like, wait a second, who is this person? All the things that were cute aren't necessarily cute anymore, right? They start to get on your nerves a little bit. All those things your parents were telling you the whole time, you're just like, oh, okay, I get it. This is disillusionment. Sadly, lots of relationships end in this stage. They're missing that euphoric part of the relationship. It ends. My buddy Dane Joneshill, he's a brilliant songwriter. He wrote a song called We Lie Together about a couple in this stage. And listen to these lyrics. It used to be you thought my faults were funny. We'd laugh at how forgetful I could be. But the last time I forgot about your birthday, you lost the humor for that sort of thing. Sad. That's a couple in the disillusionment stage. If the couple stays together, they move on to misery. The misery stage, also known as the numbness stage. Now, this stage can last a very short time, or it can last years. This is the stage where the couple, where the marriage, is basically like a partnership. Kind of two ships in the night, roommates together. There's no real intimacy in the relationship anymore. In fact, a lot of people say that it's in this stage that they're not sure whether it's better to get a divorce or to stay married. But a lot of people choose on their own convictions to stay married, stick it out until the kids are out of school. Hence the rise in divorce among empty nesters. In this stage, it's very common for people to try to escape their marriage. They can escape their marriage in all kinds of ways. They can focus more on work, focus on the kids, their family, drugs, drinking, gambling. I mean, really, house projects. I had a neighbor once who would do house projects. I mean, like you've never seen. This guy was constantly working on his house. It was exhausting watching him avoid his wife. But listen, this is the stage. It's a fertile ground for affairs to happen. Because what happens when you're in that misery stage or numbness stage? You have no connection with your spouse or very little connection at all. And somebody else comes into the picture. You have that spark again. Remember the euphoric phase, those chemical reactions that only happen with somebody, with that relationship once, that happens. And then all of a sudden we're blinded. We think that, oh, this is the one. This is the one I should be married with. I feel happy again. Affairs can happen. That's what happened to me. And just so we're clear about affairs, an affair doesn't have to be physical. An affair occurs whenever a person other than your spouse is fulfilling a marital need or duty. So affairs can be emotional as well. In fact, I would argue that they're just as common, if not more common, and just as damaging as physical affairs. Sounds pretty bad so far, doesn't it? Well, the next stage, this is the goal to get to. This is the awakening stage. This is when our eyes are open to the reality of what a long-term relationship in marriage looks like. This is the stage when true intimacy and depth can occur. This is the stage when love changes from being just a feeling to being an action and a choice. But listen, no matter what stage your marriage is in, there's good news. It can be better. No matter what stage your marriage is in, it can be better. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. So if we're going to look at marriage with God at the center, I think it's a good idea that we open up the Bible and take a look at that. If you have a Bible, take it out. We're going to be starting in Genesis 2. If you don't have a Bible, there's probably one on your device, on your phone. You can pull that up. If you'd like to grab the Bible in front of you, there's one in the seat back pocket. Listen, if you don't have a paper Bible at home, take this Bible with you. It's our gift to you. We believe that every home should have a legitimate Bible. Okay. Genesis 2. So God has just created the world, everything in it, right? The heavens, the earth. He's created the oceans, the land, the animals. As our four-year-old Ford said in the Christmas video, the two little donkeys and that big bird. Okay? He's created everything. All right. But he hasn't created a woman yet. So in verse 18, he says, Now before we get caught up on the word helper, a more accurate translation would be companion. I just want to make it, put it out there that in God's eyes, man, woman, completely equal in God's eyes, of equal value. Now in a marriage, we have different strengths, different weaknesses, both of us in different roles. But as far as having value in God's eyes and in the marriage, equally valuable. So God makes a woman. He puts Adam to sleep, makes Eve, and I can picture it, right? Like if this were a movie that we're jumping down to verse 29. If this were a movie, I could see Adam opening his eyes. The song At Last by Etta James is rolling in the background. He his partner for the first time. He's excited. He's excited about this. Of course, this is before the fall. They were naked and unashamed, so that probably helped as well. It goes on to say, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. They shall become one flesh. Now, when this was written, the term shall leave his father and mother, I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Because at the time, families would have family businesses. And so a son who is of marrying age would be married, and they would go live and work on the family business, whether a farmer or something else. So really what this is saying here is that the man shall prioritize his spouse. Prioritize. So the first thing, if we want a God-centered marriage, prioritize your spouse. This is something that I struggled with early on, especially in our marriage, but continue to struggle with it. I would prioritize my parents over my wife. I wouldn't even know I was doing it. My wife knew, but I did not know that I was doing it. But it's important to prioritize your spouse over your parents. This can be incredibly hard for younger people. They've just grown up in the house with their parents. Their parents have been the ones guiding them, leading them, telling them right from wrong, supporting them. And then all of a sudden, they're on a team with someone their own age who barely knows as much as they do. And they're supposed to be the team, the unit together. It's hard. It's hard to prioritize your spouse. But it's a good thing to do if you want a God-centered marriage. I had a friend once who was telling me about how when she was newly married in her younger 20s, she sat down at the table with her new husband and her father, and her father said, let's say your new husband and I have a disagreement. Whose side are you going to be on? And she said, well, my husband's. He said, good. And he said, okay, let's say your husband and I have a disagreement and you know I'm right. Now whose side are you on? And she grabbed her husband's hand and said, my husband's. You guys are a team. You're a unit together. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse. Love your spouse. If we want to know what love looks like, we're its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse unconditionally. During the time when our marriage was in a really dark place, I was leading a secret life. Lisa had gone back to church. She loved me unconditionally. And it's funny sometimes when we talk to couples and we say, okay, you know, you guys got to try. You got to, you know, put in your best. You got to love them as if they're doing the right things. And somebody, one of the people will say, all right, I'll do everything I can for six months. That's a condition. You're putting a condition on your love. God loves us unconditionally. Now, I should mention, or I want to mention, that abuse has no business being in marriage at all. If you're in an abusive relationship, seek professional help and guidance and get to a safe place. There's no reason that abuse should be there. If you want to have a God-centered marriage, you need to serve your spouse. Serve your can be a tough thing to do. Aaron Keyes, who's the founder of the 10,000 Fathers Worship School that I attended, has a great quote. And he says, everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. And it's true. Everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. Servants are not treated well. Jesus is washing feet. Like, do you know how nasty feet were? Like, they're nasty now. Like, think about how nasty they were like back then. Like, disgusting. Dirt, grime, everything on their feet. So to wash someone's feet was really a humbling thing. And for Jesus, our Lord and Savior, to do it, set a good example. While I was being terrible to my wife during that time, she would serve me by literally choosing to wake up early in the morning and make me an omelet before work, which is not the sort of thing that she would necessarily do earlier in our marriage. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. Forgive your spouse. Ephesians 4, verse 32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. If you fully understand the amount of what you've been forgiven of, you need to turn around and do that to your spouse. And it's a constant thing, forgiveness. It's not a one-time thing. I felt forgiveness almost immediately or a part of it when my wife said, I love you, we can make it through this. I later went to church with her and three months later gave my life to Christ. We have a thing in our home that helps us is that we actually ask for each other's forgiveness. Not just say, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. But we say, will you forgive me? If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. And the last one on the list here, if you want a God-centered marriage, you need to grow with your spouse. Grow with your spouse. 1 Thessalonians 5.11. not tend to it, and expect great results. Nobody would build a house, never maintain it, and expect it to stay in new condition. Just like a garden or a house, we need to constantly work on our marriages and grow in our marriages. If you notice at all there today, I did not mention a passage in Ephesians, which is Ephesians 5, which is the longest passage of Scripture on marriage in the Bible. The reason I didn't mention it today is because my wife and I are starting a marriage small group here at Grace. We're starting on February 9th, and four o'clock in the afternoon, childcare provided, and it's free to attend, the more the merrier. That study that we're going to do is called Love and Respect. We've gone through it four times. We've taught it once, and it's been incredibly beneficial each time. And so I have a little promo for you or significant other, you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected. 83% of the men say they feel disrespected. 72% of the women say they feel unloved. Now, it's very important that I say this. We all need love and respect equally. But the felt need during conflict is as different as pink is from blue, night is from day, male is from female. If you were to ask us to pinpoint one moment where your relationship with one another did a 180, it's absolutely when we did the love and respect. If we knew ahead of time that there was something available like this, it would have made those first 12, 13 years of our marriage so much smoother I think. a workbook for you. The workbook provides additional information that will enable you to apply this simple message. We include discussion questions, stories to read and discuss. There's a couple called Missy and Stu. A devotional for each session and then there's the pertinent information that will be available to you for quick review and reference. Love and Respect really gives you a lot of insight into this is what men think and this is what women think and this is how they thrive. And that perspective had never been explained to us before, especially in such a comical and easy to understand way. It took a biblical approach to a lot of problems that we have. And when you can apply the Bible to marital problems, it always helps. You get a chance to learn how you think as a male and how your spouse thinks as a female and to understand that those differences in thinking are just that. It's not wrong or right, it's just different. It really helped us to decode who we're married to and that's something that I want to share with everybody. They're gonna give you you the tools. They're going to give you what you need. Now what you do with it is up to you. You can walk out the door and you can throw it all away if you want to, or you can take it and you can make it become a part of who you are and begin to have the marriage that you deserve and the marriage that God wants you to have. The last time we led this study, there were 80 people that showed up to it at our last church. There were some young, some old, some newly married, some that were in hurting situations, but most of the people that came to it were in this awakening stage. The thing is, is that those people knew that it's a strength to work on your marriage, not a weakness. It shows strength, not weakness. So as we close up today, we've been talking about marriage is better with God at the center. Marriage is better with God at the center. One last thought. Make no mistake. God doesn't exist to make your marriage good. Your marriage exists to express the goodness of God. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, what an honor it is to be here today to speak about marriage. God, I'm living proof of how miraculous your love is, how you can change us, how the old is gone and the new has come with Jesus at the center of our lives. God, I pray especially for all the marriages here today. Lord, come into them in a powerful way. And God, let us see our spouses as beautiful as you see us. We pray all of this in the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.

11 years ago, I revealed to my wife that I had been having an affair for a year and a half. She calmly responded, I love you. We can make it through this. Today we're going to be talking about marriage. My name is Steve Goldberg. I'm the worship pastor here at Grace Raleigh, and it's an honor to bring the third message in our series, I Want a Better Life, entitled I Want a Better Marriage. For those of you who are first-time guests with us today, or maybe you're not familiar with my story. Surprise! In addition to being the worship pastor here at Grace, my wife and I also started a non-profit called Side-by-Side Ministry about five years ago, where we share our testimony, our story, our journey from hurt to hope. And it's our mission to inspire and encourage hurting couples to value, nurture, and restore their marriages. Now, to give you a little background, when my wife and I got married, neither one of us was following our childhood religions. I was raised Jewish in Massachusetts, hence the name Goldberg. My wife was raised Lutheran in Wisconsin. Both of us came from broken homes. Lisa's parents divorced when she was two years old. My parents divorced when I was three years old. We did not have good role models for marriage in our lives. And so for me, I just thought that marriage was kind of the next stage in the relationship. And if it worked out, great. If it didn't, well, okay. So it's no surprise that when our marriage started deteriorating after the first few years, I wasn't all that committed. During that time, there was a big void in our marriage. Lisa chose to fill that void by going back to church. She joined an in-depth Bible study. She surrounded herself with Christian women. She rededicated her life to Christ. I, on the other hand, decided to spend as much time away from my marriage and my wife as possible. I filled my life with my friends, my band, and ended up having an affair for a year and a half. During that time when our marriage was not going well at all, before the reveal of my affair, we took a trip to Mexico. Now, to be a little bit more forthright, my wife actually begged me to go to Mexico. I did not want to go. Our friends were getting married at a destination wedding there, and I didn't want to do it. But she begged me, and I said, you know what? Okay, fine. I'll go. So here's a picture from that trip. Now, side note, this was taken a long time ago, okay? I mean, look at that hair. I mean, you know, like, look at the smiles there. Like, this was taken with a digital camera, like a legit digital camera. Like, I'm not saying that we invented the selfie, but like, we were definitely early promoters of it. So, you know, a little credit. So, but this trip was tough. It was very stressful for us. You would never know that this couple in this picture was barely talking to each other, and that in less than six months' time, they would be separated. The truth is that when you look at this picture, it reminds me that not everything is as it seems. And I'd be willing to bet that behind the smiles and the small talk here this morning, there are hurting marriages. Divorce is very common in our society. We know the statistic, half of all marriages end in divorce. People don't have the, they don't put the importance on marriage anymore. It's very much an individualistic society about your own happiness, your own pleasure. But the truth is, is that the fastest growing demographic of divorce is empty nesters, which is shocking. These people have spent their whole marriages, 20, 30 years, focusing on things other than each other. Maybe it's the kids, maybe it's the career, maybe it's something else. And when they get to the point where the kids are out of the house, they say, who are you? They don't have that connection anymore. You know, when Lisa and I went to a marriage intensive, it was run by a Christian ministry called Retrovive, went to this marriage intensive shortly after the reveal of the affair. We were shocked that we were among the youngest people there. Most of the people were in their 50s and 60s. In fact, check this out. There was one couple there that actually, this guy, this guy brought the divorce papers with him to the marriage intensive. And I can only figure that he was like, well, this way I can say I've tried everything, okay? But at the end of the intensive, we rejoiced with them as they tore up the divorce papers. It was an amazing moment, God working through that marriage. But sadly, that's not the case for all marriages. One of the things that we learned during this intensive was that there are four stages of a relationship. This was eye-opening for me. It's been eye-opening for couples that we've talked to over the years, and I think it'll be eye-opening for you today. In a relationship, there are four stages. The first stage is called romance. This otherwise known as the attraction stage, or my personal favorite, the euphoric stage. Okay, you know this stage. This is the stage where you meet someone, you fall in love, everything is perfect. I mean, the birds are singing, the sun's out. You know, this person can't do anything wrong. You can't wait to see them. You have butterflies in your stomach every time you think of them. When Lisa and I met, I was living in Boston, she was living in New York at the time. We met in Orlando at a wedding that was kind of like an extended vacation. I mean, most of the people in our age bracket that went down to this wedding stayed there for three, four days. I will never forget, on the first day, I walked into the room, and there she was, Lisa, right over here. And I remember when I saw her, my stomach sank. I mean, I think I lost my breath. My eyes opened. I just said, wow. Her recount of the situation is a little bit different, but you'll have to ask her about that. We know this stage. We know this stage. This is when you fall in love. This is great. During that stage, there are special hormones, chemicals that are released in our bodies that only happens during that time of that relationship. It will never happen again. And it only lasts for about 18 months to two years. The next stage of marriage, disillusionment. Disillusionment. This got sad quick, didn't it? Disillusionment. This is when our eyes are opened. It's like, wait a second, who is this person? All the things that were cute aren't necessarily cute anymore, right? They start to get on your nerves a little bit. All those things your parents were telling you the whole time, you're just like, oh, okay, I get it. This is disillusionment. Sadly, lots of relationships end in this stage. They're missing that euphoric part of the relationship. It ends. My buddy Dane Joneshill, he's a brilliant songwriter. He wrote a song called We Lie Together about a couple in this stage. And listen to these lyrics. It used to be you thought my faults were funny. We'd laugh at how forgetful I could be. But the last time I forgot about your birthday, you lost the humor for that sort of thing. Sad. That's a couple in the disillusionment stage. If the couple stays together, they move on to misery. The misery stage, also known as the numbness stage. Now, this stage can last a very short time, or it can last years. This is the stage where the couple, where the marriage, is basically like a partnership. Kind of two ships in the night, roommates together. There's no real intimacy in the relationship anymore. In fact, a lot of people say that it's in this stage that they're not sure whether it's better to get a divorce or to stay married. But a lot of people choose on their own convictions to stay married, stick it out until the kids are out of school. Hence the rise in divorce among empty nesters. In this stage, it's very common for people to try to escape their marriage. They can escape their marriage in all kinds of ways. They can focus more on work, focus on the kids, their family, drugs, drinking, gambling. I mean, really, house projects. I had a neighbor once who would do house projects. I mean, like you've never seen. This guy was constantly working on his house. It was exhausting watching him avoid his wife. But listen, this is the stage. It's a fertile ground for affairs to happen. Because what happens when you're in that misery stage or numbness stage? You have no connection with your spouse or very little connection at all. And somebody else comes into the picture. You have that spark again. Remember the euphoric phase, those chemical reactions that only happen with somebody, with that relationship once, that happens. And then all of a sudden we're blinded. We think that, oh, this is the one. This is the one I should be married with. I feel happy again. Affairs can happen. That's what happened to me. And just so we're clear about affairs, an affair doesn't have to be physical. An affair occurs whenever a person other than your spouse is fulfilling a marital need or duty. So affairs can be emotional as well. In fact, I would argue that they're just as common, if not more common, and just as damaging as physical affairs. Sounds pretty bad so far, doesn't it? Well, the next stage, this is the goal to get to. This is the awakening stage. This is when our eyes are open to the reality of what a long-term relationship in marriage looks like. This is the stage when true intimacy and depth can occur. This is the stage when love changes from being just a feeling to being an action and a choice. But listen, no matter what stage your marriage is in, there's good news. It can be better. No matter what stage your marriage is in, it can be better. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. So if we're going to look at marriage with God at the center, I think it's a good idea that we open up the Bible and take a look at that. If you have a Bible, take it out. We're going to be starting in Genesis 2. If you don't have a Bible, there's probably one on your device, on your phone. You can pull that up. If you'd like to grab the Bible in front of you, there's one in the seat back pocket. Listen, if you don't have a paper Bible at home, take this Bible with you. It's our gift to you. We believe that every home should have a legitimate Bible. Okay. Genesis 2. So God has just created the world, everything in it, right? The heavens, the earth. He's created the oceans, the land, the animals. As our four-year-old Ford said in the Christmas video, the two little donkeys and that big bird. Okay? He's created everything. All right. But he hasn't created a woman yet. So in verse 18, he says, Now before we get caught up on the word helper, a more accurate translation would be companion. I just want to make it, put it out there that in God's eyes, man, woman, completely equal in God's eyes, of equal value. Now in a marriage, we have different strengths, different weaknesses, both of us in different roles. But as far as having value in God's eyes and in the marriage, equally valuable. So God makes a woman. He puts Adam to sleep, makes Eve, and I can picture it, right? Like if this were a movie that we're jumping down to verse 29. If this were a movie, I could see Adam opening his eyes. The song At Last by Etta James is rolling in the background. He his partner for the first time. He's excited. He's excited about this. Of course, this is before the fall. They were naked and unashamed, so that probably helped as well. It goes on to say, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. They shall become one flesh. Now, when this was written, the term shall leave his father and mother, I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Because at the time, families would have family businesses. And so a son who is of marrying age would be married, and they would go live and work on the family business, whether a farmer or something else. So really what this is saying here is that the man shall prioritize his spouse. Prioritize. So the first thing, if we want a God-centered marriage, prioritize your spouse. This is something that I struggled with early on, especially in our marriage, but continue to struggle with it. I would prioritize my parents over my wife. I wouldn't even know I was doing it. My wife knew, but I did not know that I was doing it. But it's important to prioritize your spouse over your parents. This can be incredibly hard for younger people. They've just grown up in the house with their parents. Their parents have been the ones guiding them, leading them, telling them right from wrong, supporting them. And then all of a sudden, they're on a team with someone their own age who barely knows as much as they do. And they're supposed to be the team, the unit together. It's hard. It's hard to prioritize your spouse. But it's a good thing to do if you want a God-centered marriage. I had a friend once who was telling me about how when she was newly married in her younger 20s, she sat down at the table with her new husband and her father, and her father said, let's say your new husband and I have a disagreement. Whose side are you going to be on? And she said, well, my husband's. He said, good. And he said, okay, let's say your husband and I have a disagreement and you know I'm right. Now whose side are you on? And she grabbed her husband's hand and said, my husband's. You guys are a team. You're a unit together. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse. Love your spouse. If we want to know what love looks like, we're its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse unconditionally. During the time when our marriage was in a really dark place, I was leading a secret life. Lisa had gone back to church. She loved me unconditionally. And it's funny sometimes when we talk to couples and we say, okay, you know, you guys got to try. You got to, you know, put in your best. You got to love them as if they're doing the right things. And somebody, one of the people will say, all right, I'll do everything I can for six months. That's a condition. You're putting a condition on your love. God loves us unconditionally. Now, I should mention, or I want to mention, that abuse has no business being in marriage at all. If you're in an abusive relationship, seek professional help and guidance and get to a safe place. There's no reason that abuse should be there. If you want to have a God-centered marriage, you need to serve your spouse. Serve your can be a tough thing to do. Aaron Keyes, who's the founder of the 10,000 Fathers Worship School that I attended, has a great quote. And he says, everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. And it's true. Everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. Servants are not treated well. Jesus is washing feet. Like, do you know how nasty feet were? Like, they're nasty now. Like, think about how nasty they were like back then. Like, disgusting. Dirt, grime, everything on their feet. So to wash someone's feet was really a humbling thing. And for Jesus, our Lord and Savior, to do it, set a good example. While I was being terrible to my wife during that time, she would serve me by literally choosing to wake up early in the morning and make me an omelet before work, which is not the sort of thing that she would necessarily do earlier in our marriage. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. Forgive your spouse. Ephesians 4, verse 32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. If you fully understand the amount of what you've been forgiven of, you need to turn around and do that to your spouse. And it's a constant thing, forgiveness. It's not a one-time thing. I felt forgiveness almost immediately or a part of it when my wife said, I love you, we can make it through this. I later went to church with her and three months later gave my life to Christ. We have a thing in our home that helps us is that we actually ask for each other's forgiveness. Not just say, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. But we say, will you forgive me? If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. And the last one on the list here, if you want a God-centered marriage, you need to grow with your spouse. Grow with your spouse. 1 Thessalonians 5.11. not tend to it, and expect great results. Nobody would build a house, never maintain it, and expect it to stay in new condition. Just like a garden or a house, we need to constantly work on our marriages and grow in our marriages. If you notice at all there today, I did not mention a passage in Ephesians, which is Ephesians 5, which is the longest passage of Scripture on marriage in the Bible. The reason I didn't mention it today is because my wife and I are starting a marriage small group here at Grace. We're starting on February 9th, and four o'clock in the afternoon, childcare provided, and it's free to attend, the more the merrier. That study that we're going to do is called Love and Respect. We've gone through it four times. We've taught it once, and it's been incredibly beneficial each time. And so I have a little promo for you or significant other, you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected. 83% of the men say they feel disrespected. 72% of the women say they feel unloved. Now, it's very important that I say this. We all need love and respect equally. But the felt need during conflict is as different as pink is from blue, night is from day, male is from female. If you were to ask us to pinpoint one moment where your relationship with one another did a 180, it's absolutely when we did the love and respect. If we knew ahead of time that there was something available like this, it would have made those first 12, 13 years of our marriage so much smoother I think. a workbook for you. The workbook provides additional information that will enable you to apply this simple message. We include discussion questions, stories to read and discuss. There's a couple called Missy and Stu. A devotional for each session and then there's the pertinent information that will be available to you for quick review and reference. Love and Respect really gives you a lot of insight into this is what men think and this is what women think and this is how they thrive. And that perspective had never been explained to us before, especially in such a comical and easy to understand way. It took a biblical approach to a lot of problems that we have. And when you can apply the Bible to marital problems, it always helps. You get a chance to learn how you think as a male and how your spouse thinks as a female and to understand that those differences in thinking are just that. It's not wrong or right, it's just different. It really helped us to decode who we're married to and that's something that I want to share with everybody. They're gonna give you you the tools. They're going to give you what you need. Now what you do with it is up to you. You can walk out the door and you can throw it all away if you want to, or you can take it and you can make it become a part of who you are and begin to have the marriage that you deserve and the marriage that God wants you to have. The last time we led this study, there were 80 people that showed up to it at our last church. There were some young, some old, some newly married, some that were in hurting situations, but most of the people that came to it were in this awakening stage. The thing is, is that those people knew that it's a strength to work on your marriage, not a weakness. It shows strength, not weakness. So as we close up today, we've been talking about marriage is better with God at the center. Marriage is better with God at the center. One last thought. Make no mistake. God doesn't exist to make your marriage good. Your marriage exists to express the goodness of God. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, what an honor it is to be here today to speak about marriage. God, I'm living proof of how miraculous your love is, how you can change us, how the old is gone and the new has come with Jesus at the center of our lives. God, I pray especially for all the marriages here today. Lord, come into them in a powerful way. And God, let us see our spouses as beautiful as you see us. We pray all of this in the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.

11 years ago, I revealed to my wife that I had been having an affair for a year and a half. She calmly responded, I love you. We can make it through this. Today we're going to be talking about marriage. My name is Steve Goldberg. I'm the worship pastor here at Grace Raleigh, and it's an honor to bring the third message in our series, I Want a Better Life, entitled I Want a Better Marriage. For those of you who are first-time guests with us today, or maybe you're not familiar with my story. Surprise! In addition to being the worship pastor here at Grace, my wife and I also started a non-profit called Side-by-Side Ministry about five years ago, where we share our testimony, our story, our journey from hurt to hope. And it's our mission to inspire and encourage hurting couples to value, nurture, and restore their marriages. Now, to give you a little background, when my wife and I got married, neither one of us was following our childhood religions. I was raised Jewish in Massachusetts, hence the name Goldberg. My wife was raised Lutheran in Wisconsin. Both of us came from broken homes. Lisa's parents divorced when she was two years old. My parents divorced when I was three years old. We did not have good role models for marriage in our lives. And so for me, I just thought that marriage was kind of the next stage in the relationship. And if it worked out, great. If it didn't, well, okay. So it's no surprise that when our marriage started deteriorating after the first few years, I wasn't all that committed. During that time, there was a big void in our marriage. Lisa chose to fill that void by going back to church. She joined an in-depth Bible study. She surrounded herself with Christian women. She rededicated her life to Christ. I, on the other hand, decided to spend as much time away from my marriage and my wife as possible. I filled my life with my friends, my band, and ended up having an affair for a year and a half. During that time when our marriage was not going well at all, before the reveal of my affair, we took a trip to Mexico. Now, to be a little bit more forthright, my wife actually begged me to go to Mexico. I did not want to go. Our friends were getting married at a destination wedding there, and I didn't want to do it. But she begged me, and I said, you know what? Okay, fine. I'll go. So here's a picture from that trip. Now, side note, this was taken a long time ago, okay? I mean, look at that hair. I mean, you know, like, look at the smiles there. Like, this was taken with a digital camera, like a legit digital camera. Like, I'm not saying that we invented the selfie, but like, we were definitely early promoters of it. So, you know, a little credit. So, but this trip was tough. It was very stressful for us. You would never know that this couple in this picture was barely talking to each other, and that in less than six months' time, they would be separated. The truth is that when you look at this picture, it reminds me that not everything is as it seems. And I'd be willing to bet that behind the smiles and the small talk here this morning, there are hurting marriages. Divorce is very common in our society. We know the statistic, half of all marriages end in divorce. People don't have the, they don't put the importance on marriage anymore. It's very much an individualistic society about your own happiness, your own pleasure. But the truth is, is that the fastest growing demographic of divorce is empty nesters, which is shocking. These people have spent their whole marriages, 20, 30 years, focusing on things other than each other. Maybe it's the kids, maybe it's the career, maybe it's something else. And when they get to the point where the kids are out of the house, they say, who are you? They don't have that connection anymore. You know, when Lisa and I went to a marriage intensive, it was run by a Christian ministry called Retrovive, went to this marriage intensive shortly after the reveal of the affair. We were shocked that we were among the youngest people there. Most of the people were in their 50s and 60s. In fact, check this out. There was one couple there that actually, this guy, this guy brought the divorce papers with him to the marriage intensive. And I can only figure that he was like, well, this way I can say I've tried everything, okay? But at the end of the intensive, we rejoiced with them as they tore up the divorce papers. It was an amazing moment, God working through that marriage. But sadly, that's not the case for all marriages. One of the things that we learned during this intensive was that there are four stages of a relationship. This was eye-opening for me. It's been eye-opening for couples that we've talked to over the years, and I think it'll be eye-opening for you today. In a relationship, there are four stages. The first stage is called romance. This otherwise known as the attraction stage, or my personal favorite, the euphoric stage. Okay, you know this stage. This is the stage where you meet someone, you fall in love, everything is perfect. I mean, the birds are singing, the sun's out. You know, this person can't do anything wrong. You can't wait to see them. You have butterflies in your stomach every time you think of them. When Lisa and I met, I was living in Boston, she was living in New York at the time. We met in Orlando at a wedding that was kind of like an extended vacation. I mean, most of the people in our age bracket that went down to this wedding stayed there for three, four days. I will never forget, on the first day, I walked into the room, and there she was, Lisa, right over here. And I remember when I saw her, my stomach sank. I mean, I think I lost my breath. My eyes opened. I just said, wow. Her recount of the situation is a little bit different, but you'll have to ask her about that. We know this stage. We know this stage. This is when you fall in love. This is great. During that stage, there are special hormones, chemicals that are released in our bodies that only happens during that time of that relationship. It will never happen again. And it only lasts for about 18 months to two years. The next stage of marriage, disillusionment. Disillusionment. This got sad quick, didn't it? Disillusionment. This is when our eyes are opened. It's like, wait a second, who is this person? All the things that were cute aren't necessarily cute anymore, right? They start to get on your nerves a little bit. All those things your parents were telling you the whole time, you're just like, oh, okay, I get it. This is disillusionment. Sadly, lots of relationships end in this stage. They're missing that euphoric part of the relationship. It ends. My buddy Dane Joneshill, he's a brilliant songwriter. He wrote a song called We Lie Together about a couple in this stage. And listen to these lyrics. It used to be you thought my faults were funny. We'd laugh at how forgetful I could be. But the last time I forgot about your birthday, you lost the humor for that sort of thing. Sad. That's a couple in the disillusionment stage. If the couple stays together, they move on to misery. The misery stage, also known as the numbness stage. Now, this stage can last a very short time, or it can last years. This is the stage where the couple, where the marriage, is basically like a partnership. Kind of two ships in the night, roommates together. There's no real intimacy in the relationship anymore. In fact, a lot of people say that it's in this stage that they're not sure whether it's better to get a divorce or to stay married. But a lot of people choose on their own convictions to stay married, stick it out until the kids are out of school. Hence the rise in divorce among empty nesters. In this stage, it's very common for people to try to escape their marriage. They can escape their marriage in all kinds of ways. They can focus more on work, focus on the kids, their family, drugs, drinking, gambling. I mean, really, house projects. I had a neighbor once who would do house projects. I mean, like you've never seen. This guy was constantly working on his house. It was exhausting watching him avoid his wife. But listen, this is the stage. It's a fertile ground for affairs to happen. Because what happens when you're in that misery stage or numbness stage? You have no connection with your spouse or very little connection at all. And somebody else comes into the picture. You have that spark again. Remember the euphoric phase, those chemical reactions that only happen with somebody, with that relationship once, that happens. And then all of a sudden we're blinded. We think that, oh, this is the one. This is the one I should be married with. I feel happy again. Affairs can happen. That's what happened to me. And just so we're clear about affairs, an affair doesn't have to be physical. An affair occurs whenever a person other than your spouse is fulfilling a marital need or duty. So affairs can be emotional as well. In fact, I would argue that they're just as common, if not more common, and just as damaging as physical affairs. Sounds pretty bad so far, doesn't it? Well, the next stage, this is the goal to get to. This is the awakening stage. This is when our eyes are open to the reality of what a long-term relationship in marriage looks like. This is the stage when true intimacy and depth can occur. This is the stage when love changes from being just a feeling to being an action and a choice. But listen, no matter what stage your marriage is in, there's good news. It can be better. No matter what stage your marriage is in, it can be better. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. So if we're going to look at marriage with God at the center, I think it's a good idea that we open up the Bible and take a look at that. If you have a Bible, take it out. We're going to be starting in Genesis 2. If you don't have a Bible, there's probably one on your device, on your phone. You can pull that up. If you'd like to grab the Bible in front of you, there's one in the seat back pocket. Listen, if you don't have a paper Bible at home, take this Bible with you. It's our gift to you. We believe that every home should have a legitimate Bible. Okay. Genesis 2. So God has just created the world, everything in it, right? The heavens, the earth. He's created the oceans, the land, the animals. As our four-year-old Ford said in the Christmas video, the two little donkeys and that big bird. Okay? He's created everything. All right. But he hasn't created a woman yet. So in verse 18, he says, Now before we get caught up on the word helper, a more accurate translation would be companion. I just want to make it, put it out there that in God's eyes, man, woman, completely equal in God's eyes, of equal value. Now in a marriage, we have different strengths, different weaknesses, both of us in different roles. But as far as having value in God's eyes and in the marriage, equally valuable. So God makes a woman. He puts Adam to sleep, makes Eve, and I can picture it, right? Like if this were a movie that we're jumping down to verse 29. If this were a movie, I could see Adam opening his eyes. The song At Last by Etta James is rolling in the background. He his partner for the first time. He's excited. He's excited about this. Of course, this is before the fall. They were naked and unashamed, so that probably helped as well. It goes on to say, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. They shall become one flesh. Now, when this was written, the term shall leave his father and mother, I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Because at the time, families would have family businesses. And so a son who is of marrying age would be married, and they would go live and work on the family business, whether a farmer or something else. So really what this is saying here is that the man shall prioritize his spouse. Prioritize. So the first thing, if we want a God-centered marriage, prioritize your spouse. This is something that I struggled with early on, especially in our marriage, but continue to struggle with it. I would prioritize my parents over my wife. I wouldn't even know I was doing it. My wife knew, but I did not know that I was doing it. But it's important to prioritize your spouse over your parents. This can be incredibly hard for younger people. They've just grown up in the house with their parents. Their parents have been the ones guiding them, leading them, telling them right from wrong, supporting them. And then all of a sudden, they're on a team with someone their own age who barely knows as much as they do. And they're supposed to be the team, the unit together. It's hard. It's hard to prioritize your spouse. But it's a good thing to do if you want a God-centered marriage. I had a friend once who was telling me about how when she was newly married in her younger 20s, she sat down at the table with her new husband and her father, and her father said, let's say your new husband and I have a disagreement. Whose side are you going to be on? And she said, well, my husband's. He said, good. And he said, okay, let's say your husband and I have a disagreement and you know I'm right. Now whose side are you on? And she grabbed her husband's hand and said, my husband's. You guys are a team. You're a unit together. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse. Love your spouse. If we want to know what love looks like, we're its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse unconditionally. During the time when our marriage was in a really dark place, I was leading a secret life. Lisa had gone back to church. She loved me unconditionally. And it's funny sometimes when we talk to couples and we say, okay, you know, you guys got to try. You got to, you know, put in your best. You got to love them as if they're doing the right things. And somebody, one of the people will say, all right, I'll do everything I can for six months. That's a condition. You're putting a condition on your love. God loves us unconditionally. Now, I should mention, or I want to mention, that abuse has no business being in marriage at all. If you're in an abusive relationship, seek professional help and guidance and get to a safe place. There's no reason that abuse should be there. If you want to have a God-centered marriage, you need to serve your spouse. Serve your can be a tough thing to do. Aaron Keyes, who's the founder of the 10,000 Fathers Worship School that I attended, has a great quote. And he says, everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. And it's true. Everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. Servants are not treated well. Jesus is washing feet. Like, do you know how nasty feet were? Like, they're nasty now. Like, think about how nasty they were like back then. Like, disgusting. Dirt, grime, everything on their feet. So to wash someone's feet was really a humbling thing. And for Jesus, our Lord and Savior, to do it, set a good example. While I was being terrible to my wife during that time, she would serve me by literally choosing to wake up early in the morning and make me an omelet before work, which is not the sort of thing that she would necessarily do earlier in our marriage. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. Forgive your spouse. Ephesians 4, verse 32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. If you fully understand the amount of what you've been forgiven of, you need to turn around and do that to your spouse. And it's a constant thing, forgiveness. It's not a one-time thing. I felt forgiveness almost immediately or a part of it when my wife said, I love you, we can make it through this. I later went to church with her and three months later gave my life to Christ. We have a thing in our home that helps us is that we actually ask for each other's forgiveness. Not just say, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. But we say, will you forgive me? If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. And the last one on the list here, if you want a God-centered marriage, you need to grow with your spouse. Grow with your spouse. 1 Thessalonians 5.11. not tend to it, and expect great results. Nobody would build a house, never maintain it, and expect it to stay in new condition. Just like a garden or a house, we need to constantly work on our marriages and grow in our marriages. If you notice at all there today, I did not mention a passage in Ephesians, which is Ephesians 5, which is the longest passage of Scripture on marriage in the Bible. The reason I didn't mention it today is because my wife and I are starting a marriage small group here at Grace. We're starting on February 9th, and four o'clock in the afternoon, childcare provided, and it's free to attend, the more the merrier. That study that we're going to do is called Love and Respect. We've gone through it four times. We've taught it once, and it's been incredibly beneficial each time. And so I have a little promo for you or significant other, you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected. 83% of the men say they feel disrespected. 72% of the women say they feel unloved. Now, it's very important that I say this. We all need love and respect equally. But the felt need during conflict is as different as pink is from blue, night is from day, male is from female. If you were to ask us to pinpoint one moment where your relationship with one another did a 180, it's absolutely when we did the love and respect. If we knew ahead of time that there was something available like this, it would have made those first 12, 13 years of our marriage so much smoother I think. a workbook for you. The workbook provides additional information that will enable you to apply this simple message. We include discussion questions, stories to read and discuss. There's a couple called Missy and Stu. A devotional for each session and then there's the pertinent information that will be available to you for quick review and reference. Love and Respect really gives you a lot of insight into this is what men think and this is what women think and this is how they thrive. And that perspective had never been explained to us before, especially in such a comical and easy to understand way. It took a biblical approach to a lot of problems that we have. And when you can apply the Bible to marital problems, it always helps. You get a chance to learn how you think as a male and how your spouse thinks as a female and to understand that those differences in thinking are just that. It's not wrong or right, it's just different. It really helped us to decode who we're married to and that's something that I want to share with everybody. They're gonna give you you the tools. They're going to give you what you need. Now what you do with it is up to you. You can walk out the door and you can throw it all away if you want to, or you can take it and you can make it become a part of who you are and begin to have the marriage that you deserve and the marriage that God wants you to have. The last time we led this study, there were 80 people that showed up to it at our last church. There were some young, some old, some newly married, some that were in hurting situations, but most of the people that came to it were in this awakening stage. The thing is, is that those people knew that it's a strength to work on your marriage, not a weakness. It shows strength, not weakness. So as we close up today, we've been talking about marriage is better with God at the center. Marriage is better with God at the center. One last thought. Make no mistake. God doesn't exist to make your marriage good. Your marriage exists to express the goodness of God. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, what an honor it is to be here today to speak about marriage. God, I'm living proof of how miraculous your love is, how you can change us, how the old is gone and the new has come with Jesus at the center of our lives. God, I pray especially for all the marriages here today. Lord, come into them in a powerful way. And God, let us see our spouses as beautiful as you see us. We pray all of this in the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.

11 years ago, I revealed to my wife that I had been having an affair for a year and a half. She calmly responded, I love you. We can make it through this. Today we're going to be talking about marriage. My name is Steve Goldberg. I'm the worship pastor here at Grace Raleigh, and it's an honor to bring the third message in our series, I Want a Better Life, entitled I Want a Better Marriage. For those of you who are first-time guests with us today, or maybe you're not familiar with my story. Surprise! In addition to being the worship pastor here at Grace, my wife and I also started a non-profit called Side-by-Side Ministry about five years ago, where we share our testimony, our story, our journey from hurt to hope. And it's our mission to inspire and encourage hurting couples to value, nurture, and restore their marriages. Now, to give you a little background, when my wife and I got married, neither one of us was following our childhood religions. I was raised Jewish in Massachusetts, hence the name Goldberg. My wife was raised Lutheran in Wisconsin. Both of us came from broken homes. Lisa's parents divorced when she was two years old. My parents divorced when I was three years old. We did not have good role models for marriage in our lives. And so for me, I just thought that marriage was kind of the next stage in the relationship. And if it worked out, great. If it didn't, well, okay. So it's no surprise that when our marriage started deteriorating after the first few years, I wasn't all that committed. During that time, there was a big void in our marriage. Lisa chose to fill that void by going back to church. She joined an in-depth Bible study. She surrounded herself with Christian women. She rededicated her life to Christ. I, on the other hand, decided to spend as much time away from my marriage and my wife as possible. I filled my life with my friends, my band, and ended up having an affair for a year and a half. During that time when our marriage was not going well at all, before the reveal of my affair, we took a trip to Mexico. Now, to be a little bit more forthright, my wife actually begged me to go to Mexico. I did not want to go. Our friends were getting married at a destination wedding there, and I didn't want to do it. But she begged me, and I said, you know what? Okay, fine. I'll go. So here's a picture from that trip. Now, side note, this was taken a long time ago, okay? I mean, look at that hair. I mean, you know, like, look at the smiles there. Like, this was taken with a digital camera, like a legit digital camera. Like, I'm not saying that we invented the selfie, but like, we were definitely early promoters of it. So, you know, a little credit. So, but this trip was tough. It was very stressful for us. You would never know that this couple in this picture was barely talking to each other, and that in less than six months' time, they would be separated. The truth is that when you look at this picture, it reminds me that not everything is as it seems. And I'd be willing to bet that behind the smiles and the small talk here this morning, there are hurting marriages. Divorce is very common in our society. We know the statistic, half of all marriages end in divorce. People don't have the, they don't put the importance on marriage anymore. It's very much an individualistic society about your own happiness, your own pleasure. But the truth is, is that the fastest growing demographic of divorce is empty nesters, which is shocking. These people have spent their whole marriages, 20, 30 years, focusing on things other than each other. Maybe it's the kids, maybe it's the career, maybe it's something else. And when they get to the point where the kids are out of the house, they say, who are you? They don't have that connection anymore. You know, when Lisa and I went to a marriage intensive, it was run by a Christian ministry called Retrovive, went to this marriage intensive shortly after the reveal of the affair. We were shocked that we were among the youngest people there. Most of the people were in their 50s and 60s. In fact, check this out. There was one couple there that actually, this guy, this guy brought the divorce papers with him to the marriage intensive. And I can only figure that he was like, well, this way I can say I've tried everything, okay? But at the end of the intensive, we rejoiced with them as they tore up the divorce papers. It was an amazing moment, God working through that marriage. But sadly, that's not the case for all marriages. One of the things that we learned during this intensive was that there are four stages of a relationship. This was eye-opening for me. It's been eye-opening for couples that we've talked to over the years, and I think it'll be eye-opening for you today. In a relationship, there are four stages. The first stage is called romance. This otherwise known as the attraction stage, or my personal favorite, the euphoric stage. Okay, you know this stage. This is the stage where you meet someone, you fall in love, everything is perfect. I mean, the birds are singing, the sun's out. You know, this person can't do anything wrong. You can't wait to see them. You have butterflies in your stomach every time you think of them. When Lisa and I met, I was living in Boston, she was living in New York at the time. We met in Orlando at a wedding that was kind of like an extended vacation. I mean, most of the people in our age bracket that went down to this wedding stayed there for three, four days. I will never forget, on the first day, I walked into the room, and there she was, Lisa, right over here. And I remember when I saw her, my stomach sank. I mean, I think I lost my breath. My eyes opened. I just said, wow. Her recount of the situation is a little bit different, but you'll have to ask her about that. We know this stage. We know this stage. This is when you fall in love. This is great. During that stage, there are special hormones, chemicals that are released in our bodies that only happens during that time of that relationship. It will never happen again. And it only lasts for about 18 months to two years. The next stage of marriage, disillusionment. Disillusionment. This got sad quick, didn't it? Disillusionment. This is when our eyes are opened. It's like, wait a second, who is this person? All the things that were cute aren't necessarily cute anymore, right? They start to get on your nerves a little bit. All those things your parents were telling you the whole time, you're just like, oh, okay, I get it. This is disillusionment. Sadly, lots of relationships end in this stage. They're missing that euphoric part of the relationship. It ends. My buddy Dane Joneshill, he's a brilliant songwriter. He wrote a song called We Lie Together about a couple in this stage. And listen to these lyrics. It used to be you thought my faults were funny. We'd laugh at how forgetful I could be. But the last time I forgot about your birthday, you lost the humor for that sort of thing. Sad. That's a couple in the disillusionment stage. If the couple stays together, they move on to misery. The misery stage, also known as the numbness stage. Now, this stage can last a very short time, or it can last years. This is the stage where the couple, where the marriage, is basically like a partnership. Kind of two ships in the night, roommates together. There's no real intimacy in the relationship anymore. In fact, a lot of people say that it's in this stage that they're not sure whether it's better to get a divorce or to stay married. But a lot of people choose on their own convictions to stay married, stick it out until the kids are out of school. Hence the rise in divorce among empty nesters. In this stage, it's very common for people to try to escape their marriage. They can escape their marriage in all kinds of ways. They can focus more on work, focus on the kids, their family, drugs, drinking, gambling. I mean, really, house projects. I had a neighbor once who would do house projects. I mean, like you've never seen. This guy was constantly working on his house. It was exhausting watching him avoid his wife. But listen, this is the stage. It's a fertile ground for affairs to happen. Because what happens when you're in that misery stage or numbness stage? You have no connection with your spouse or very little connection at all. And somebody else comes into the picture. You have that spark again. Remember the euphoric phase, those chemical reactions that only happen with somebody, with that relationship once, that happens. And then all of a sudden we're blinded. We think that, oh, this is the one. This is the one I should be married with. I feel happy again. Affairs can happen. That's what happened to me. And just so we're clear about affairs, an affair doesn't have to be physical. An affair occurs whenever a person other than your spouse is fulfilling a marital need or duty. So affairs can be emotional as well. In fact, I would argue that they're just as common, if not more common, and just as damaging as physical affairs. Sounds pretty bad so far, doesn't it? Well, the next stage, this is the goal to get to. This is the awakening stage. This is when our eyes are open to the reality of what a long-term relationship in marriage looks like. This is the stage when true intimacy and depth can occur. This is the stage when love changes from being just a feeling to being an action and a choice. But listen, no matter what stage your marriage is in, there's good news. It can be better. No matter what stage your marriage is in, it can be better. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. A marriage is better with God at the center. So if we're going to look at marriage with God at the center, I think it's a good idea that we open up the Bible and take a look at that. If you have a Bible, take it out. We're going to be starting in Genesis 2. If you don't have a Bible, there's probably one on your device, on your phone. You can pull that up. If you'd like to grab the Bible in front of you, there's one in the seat back pocket. Listen, if you don't have a paper Bible at home, take this Bible with you. It's our gift to you. We believe that every home should have a legitimate Bible. Okay. Genesis 2. So God has just created the world, everything in it, right? The heavens, the earth. He's created the oceans, the land, the animals. As our four-year-old Ford said in the Christmas video, the two little donkeys and that big bird. Okay? He's created everything. All right. But he hasn't created a woman yet. So in verse 18, he says, Now before we get caught up on the word helper, a more accurate translation would be companion. I just want to make it, put it out there that in God's eyes, man, woman, completely equal in God's eyes, of equal value. Now in a marriage, we have different strengths, different weaknesses, both of us in different roles. But as far as having value in God's eyes and in the marriage, equally valuable. So God makes a woman. He puts Adam to sleep, makes Eve, and I can picture it, right? Like if this were a movie that we're jumping down to verse 29. If this were a movie, I could see Adam opening his eyes. The song At Last by Etta James is rolling in the background. He his partner for the first time. He's excited. He's excited about this. Of course, this is before the fall. They were naked and unashamed, so that probably helped as well. It goes on to say, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. They shall become one flesh. Now, when this was written, the term shall leave his father and mother, I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Because at the time, families would have family businesses. And so a son who is of marrying age would be married, and they would go live and work on the family business, whether a farmer or something else. So really what this is saying here is that the man shall prioritize his spouse. Prioritize. So the first thing, if we want a God-centered marriage, prioritize your spouse. This is something that I struggled with early on, especially in our marriage, but continue to struggle with it. I would prioritize my parents over my wife. I wouldn't even know I was doing it. My wife knew, but I did not know that I was doing it. But it's important to prioritize your spouse over your parents. This can be incredibly hard for younger people. They've just grown up in the house with their parents. Their parents have been the ones guiding them, leading them, telling them right from wrong, supporting them. And then all of a sudden, they're on a team with someone their own age who barely knows as much as they do. And they're supposed to be the team, the unit together. It's hard. It's hard to prioritize your spouse. But it's a good thing to do if you want a God-centered marriage. I had a friend once who was telling me about how when she was newly married in her younger 20s, she sat down at the table with her new husband and her father, and her father said, let's say your new husband and I have a disagreement. Whose side are you going to be on? And she said, well, my husband's. He said, good. And he said, okay, let's say your husband and I have a disagreement and you know I'm right. Now whose side are you on? And she grabbed her husband's hand and said, my husband's. You guys are a team. You're a unit together. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse. Love your spouse. If we want to know what love looks like, we're its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to love your spouse unconditionally. During the time when our marriage was in a really dark place, I was leading a secret life. Lisa had gone back to church. She loved me unconditionally. And it's funny sometimes when we talk to couples and we say, okay, you know, you guys got to try. You got to, you know, put in your best. You got to love them as if they're doing the right things. And somebody, one of the people will say, all right, I'll do everything I can for six months. That's a condition. You're putting a condition on your love. God loves us unconditionally. Now, I should mention, or I want to mention, that abuse has no business being in marriage at all. If you're in an abusive relationship, seek professional help and guidance and get to a safe place. There's no reason that abuse should be there. If you want to have a God-centered marriage, you need to serve your spouse. Serve your can be a tough thing to do. Aaron Keyes, who's the founder of the 10,000 Fathers Worship School that I attended, has a great quote. And he says, everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. And it's true. Everyone loves being a servant until they're treated like one. Servants are not treated well. Jesus is washing feet. Like, do you know how nasty feet were? Like, they're nasty now. Like, think about how nasty they were like back then. Like, disgusting. Dirt, grime, everything on their feet. So to wash someone's feet was really a humbling thing. And for Jesus, our Lord and Savior, to do it, set a good example. While I was being terrible to my wife during that time, she would serve me by literally choosing to wake up early in the morning and make me an omelet before work, which is not the sort of thing that she would necessarily do earlier in our marriage. If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. Forgive your spouse. Ephesians 4, verse 32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. If you fully understand the amount of what you've been forgiven of, you need to turn around and do that to your spouse. And it's a constant thing, forgiveness. It's not a one-time thing. I felt forgiveness almost immediately or a part of it when my wife said, I love you, we can make it through this. I later went to church with her and three months later gave my life to Christ. We have a thing in our home that helps us is that we actually ask for each other's forgiveness. Not just say, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. But we say, will you forgive me? If you want a God-centered marriage, you need to forgive your spouse. And the last one on the list here, if you want a God-centered marriage, you need to grow with your spouse. Grow with your spouse. 1 Thessalonians 5.11. not tend to it, and expect great results. Nobody would build a house, never maintain it, and expect it to stay in new condition. Just like a garden or a house, we need to constantly work on our marriages and grow in our marriages. If you notice at all there today, I did not mention a passage in Ephesians, which is Ephesians 5, which is the longest passage of Scripture on marriage in the Bible. The reason I didn't mention it today is because my wife and I are starting a marriage small group here at Grace. We're starting on February 9th, and four o'clock in the afternoon, childcare provided, and it's free to attend, the more the merrier. That study that we're going to do is called Love and Respect. We've gone through it four times. We've taught it once, and it's been incredibly beneficial each time. And so I have a little promo for you or significant other, you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected. 83% of the men say they feel disrespected. 72% of the women say they feel unloved. Now, it's very important that I say this. We all need love and respect equally. But the felt need during conflict is as different as pink is from blue, night is from day, male is from female. If you were to ask us to pinpoint one moment where your relationship with one another did a 180, it's absolutely when we did the love and respect. If we knew ahead of time that there was something available like this, it would have made those first 12, 13 years of our marriage so much smoother I think. a workbook for you. The workbook provides additional information that will enable you to apply this simple message. We include discussion questions, stories to read and discuss. There's a couple called Missy and Stu. A devotional for each session and then there's the pertinent information that will be available to you for quick review and reference. Love and Respect really gives you a lot of insight into this is what men think and this is what women think and this is how they thrive. And that perspective had never been explained to us before, especially in such a comical and easy to understand way. It took a biblical approach to a lot of problems that we have. And when you can apply the Bible to marital problems, it always helps. You get a chance to learn how you think as a male and how your spouse thinks as a female and to understand that those differences in thinking are just that. It's not wrong or right, it's just different. It really helped us to decode who we're married to and that's something that I want to share with everybody. They're gonna give you you the tools. They're going to give you what you need. Now what you do with it is up to you. You can walk out the door and you can throw it all away if you want to, or you can take it and you can make it become a part of who you are and begin to have the marriage that you deserve and the marriage that God wants you to have. The last time we led this study, there were 80 people that showed up to it at our last church. There were some young, some old, some newly married, some that were in hurting situations, but most of the people that came to it were in this awakening stage. The thing is, is that those people knew that it's a strength to work on your marriage, not a weakness. It shows strength, not weakness. So as we close up today, we've been talking about marriage is better with God at the center. Marriage is better with God at the center. One last thought. Make no mistake. God doesn't exist to make your marriage good. Your marriage exists to express the goodness of God. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, what an honor it is to be here today to speak about marriage. God, I'm living proof of how miraculous your love is, how you can change us, how the old is gone and the new has come with Jesus at the center of our lives. God, I pray especially for all the marriages here today. Lord, come into them in a powerful way. And God, let us see our spouses as beautiful as you see us. We pray all of this in the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.

Amen. And good morning, Grace. Thank you for watching online. I can't wait until we can be back together. Until then, I hope that you're getting into a good rhythm of watching church in your sweatpants. I'm jealous of that. This is the third part of our series called Things You Should Know. And the idea with this series is there's certain things in Christendom and in church world that we talk about or reference. And my suspicion is that sometimes we just kind of nod along with those things, not really knowing what they are, not really having a full grasp of them, and maybe too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions. And so we wanted to take a series where we ask the questions for you and hopefully give you some answers or some things that maybe we haven't thought about before. And so this week we arrive at what I think is the forgotten practice of the Sabbath. If you've been around church world at all before, you've probably heard at least Sabbath mentioned. You probably know that it was a thing that the Jewish people observed in the Old Testament. You might even know that it's a thing that Jewish people continue to observe. But I think in the church world, we've largely forgotten the Sabbath, right? I mean, I know for me, I can't remember the last time I intentionally observed a Sabbath. I'm a pastor. Most of the Christians that I know, I can't remember the last time I heard someone talk to me about the Sabbath discipline and what they do and how they do it and incorporating this in their lives. And so I really think that it's kind of this forgotten aspect of our faith. And what's more than that is, it's pretty important in the Old Testament. And so I was excited this week when we put this one on the schedule. I knew Sabbath was coming up, so I've been kind of thinking about it in the background for the past couple of weeks, and I was excited to get to it and talk about it. And I figured that when we got here, we would talk about this much-needed rest, this need to rest and to recharge and refuel. And I think we can all appreciate that. This idea that we weren't made just to be machines, we weren't made just to be productive, that we should stop and slow down and focus on the gifts that God gives us and what we have to be grateful for and try to ask our question, why are we working so hard anyways? So I figured we'd spend the morning talking about how God has designed us to rest sometimes, how God has designed schedules and rhythms so that we can rest. And so I started the week getting ready to preach the sermon and doing research on the Sabbath and started to kind of pull a thread. And I realized, oh my gosh, I've never pulled this thread before. I've never known this about the Sabbath and what it could mean. And honestly, I started to get pretty excited in my office. I darted over to Kyle's office and basically gave him the mini sermon because I was so excited about what I was learning and excited to share it with you guys. And what I learned is that the Sabbath is so much bigger than just rest. So I want to take you kind of on the journey that I had to discover what the Sabbath is. And hopefully when we get to the end of it, you will join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life. But we see this law, this idea of the Sabbath, come up in Exodus chapter 20. It's part of the Ten Commandments. You may know what those are. These are the ten on the tablets, two stone tablets. Moses comes down the mountain and he presents the rules to the Hebrew people. These are the top 10 rules that God has for us. the seventh day is a Sabbath day to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord to the fore. And it's interesting to me that it's in the Ten Commandments. To me, it's a really curious commandment. Because if you look at the other Ten Commandments, the first one is, you know, don't have any other gods before me. God says nothing should be more important to you in your whole life than I am. Which, that makes sense. And then it's like, well, don't commit adultery. Yeah, that's certainly, that's got to be in the top 10, right? No killing people. That's a big deal. Don't steal things. Don't lie. Honor your parents. Like, all those make sense to be in God's top ten rules, but the Sabbath? I mean, if I had to sit down, if you gave me the Bible and you said, make a list of the top ten things that Christians need to do, the Sabbath is not going to make the cut. I doubt it makes the cut in your list either. And if you're sitting at home saying, no, it does make my list, and you don't regularly observe the Sabbath, you're a hypocrite. Right? It wouldn't make our list, but yet it made God's. And I've always thought that it made God's because of where it came in history. Because if you'll think about the group of people receiving these laws, they're the Israelites, the Hebrew people, the descendants of Abraham. They've been enslaved for 400 years. For 400 years, they were production machines. Seven days a week, several hours a day, morning to night, you work, you produce. With the whip at your back, you produce. When they receive these commandments, they're in the desert. They're fleeing from the Egyptians. And God comes to them and he says, these are the big 10 things I want you to prioritize in your life. And it's easy to see that he's speaking to his children. These children who have sat under the burden of productivity for their entire life, for generation after generation, and God is telling them, you're not machines. You're more than your work. You're more than what you produce. There's good gifts that I've given you in life that I want you to focus on sometimes. It's okay to stop and rest. And while those things are certainly applicable to us in 2021, they were especially applicable then. And so I've always suspected that maybe God included the Sabbath commandment and the Ten Commandments because of where they were at culturally. But then look at what he does. Not only in Jewish law does he want them to observe the Sabbath every seven days, but then every seventh year is a year of the Sabbath. It's a sabbatical year. And in those years, they're supposed to give their fields rest. They're supposed to give the earth rest, which by the way, we understand scientifically now is actually best for those fields because the nutrients can build back up and they can produce year after year after year. That's why farmers rotate their fields and their crops. But they didn't know that back then. They just knew that God told them to let their fields rest every seven years. Every seven years was a year-long reminder of Sabbath. And then on the seventh, seventh year, so every 50 years, they had what was called the year of Jubilee. And in the year of Jubilee, all debts were canceled. All land was restored to rightful owners. Slaves were freed. It was like a huge societal reset button. Every year, every 50 years, the year of Jubilee is a year-long Sabbath, and it hits reset on all of culture and society, and then it starts again. Seems like a bigger deal than just rest. So as I'm thinking through Sabbath and this sermon and what we need to learn about it, I really started to wonder, why is rest such a big deal to God? Why is He so interested that I just take a load off every now and again? Why does God just seem to be such a nap fan on Sundays? Like there's got to be more to it than that. And so as I kind of pulled that thread a little more, I was reminded of the very first Sabbath that we see in Genesis after creation. And we may know the creation story. In the beginning, God was there and he created the heavens and the earth, right? And then each day he created a new thing. On day one, he created something. Day three, day four, day five, all the way through day six when he created man. And then on day seven, he rested. This is what we read about the Sabbath in Genesis chapter two, verses one through three. And listen, I've got a bunch of verses for you this morning. So if you have a Bible, get ready to jump around. But this is Genesis 2, 1 through 3. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day, God had finished his work that he had done. And he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it, God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. God himself modeled the Sabbath for us a couple thousand years before he instituted it as a law. And somebody else pointed out, I didn't notice this, but other people pointed it out and I thought it's fascinating. If you read through the creation story, if you have your Bible there, then you can look through Genesis chapter 1 and look at each day. Each day has an evening and a morning, or a morning and an evening. It'll say it was day two, God created these things, and it was morning and evening, the third day. It was day four, God created these things, then it was evening, then it was morning, the fifth day. But we get to day seven, and it's the only day without an evening and a morning. We get to day seven, which in Hebrew tradition is the number of completion. It's the number of perfection. It means we're done messing with this. That's over. It's finished. And so God did his work and then he rested. And what's interesting is there's no evening and there's morning. There's no eighth day. It doesn't say on the eighth day, God created more stuff. On the eighth day, God started working on the rest of the universe. No, he entered into rest. He was done. He had made it. His work was finished. And now God entered into rest on the day of perfection to an unending seventh day. And the interesting part is we were created to join him in that rest. Adam and Eve were created to participate in that rest with God. We're told that God walked with them in the cool of the evening. We're told we see evidence that they didn't have to work for their food. It just grew on trees and they grabbed it. They were born into eternal and perfect retirement. They did not carry the burden of productivity. They only carried the burden of praise, which is a really easy burden to carry when you're walking around with God in the cool of the evening every day. It's important that we understand that Adam and Eve, and therefore us, were created to join God in this perfect eternal rest. But sin disrupted that rest. Sin ruined that rest. And it's so fascinating to me that the curse for sin, the punishment for sin, if you look over in Genesis chapter 3, when God approaches Adam and Eve after they eat of the tree that they shouldn't have eaten of and they sinned, that God punishes them and he curses them. And what's the curse? Work. Productivity. Now you're going to have to work the field. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to fight against thorns. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to produce your own food. You didn't have to do that before. The curse in the garden is the curse of the burden of productivity. Do you understand that? Now you have to work. Now because of your sin, you can't rest. I created you for rest, but now because you broke that rest, you have to work and you can't exist in my rest. This to me was a profound thought that God created us to enter into his perfect and eternal rest that he began after creation. Just participate in that with him relationally. He did not design us to carry the burden of productivity. That's the curse of sin. And then it occurred to me that Jesus came to restore our perfect rest. Jesus himself came as a way to restore us back into the Father's rest so that we could have a way to enter back into his rest. And what I began to understand is that when we see rest in the Bible, we're not talking about just taking a load off for a day. We're really talking about eternity. We're talking about entering into heaven with God, re-entering into the rest for which we were designed. And it's interesting to me that I never caught it before, what Jesus says in Matthew. In Matthew chapter 11, he says this, I used to always think that that verse was for people who were living under the oppression of legalism, and it is. But we see here that he's talking about more than just rest. He's talking about more than just a day to recover. He says, I will give you rest for your souls. Your souls can rest in me. I believe Jesus is talking about a larger rest here. And then when we fast forward up to Hebrews chapter 4, we see the author in Hebrews talking in you can read it. It's all through chapters 3 and 4 of Hebrews, speaks of eternity in the terms of entering into the Lord's rest. He speaks of heaven, of being with God forever and ever. He speaks of that in terms of entering back into that rest that God designed us for, that Jesus won for us. And then at the end of the Bible in here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, write this, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. Blessed indeed, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them. I had never noticed it before or put together everything. I knew of each of these passages and each of these teachings in disparate parts, but never before had I seen this theme of rest woven through the scriptures. This idea from the very onset that God designed us to enter into his perfect eternal rest where our souls can be easy and all we carry is the burden of praise. And I had never thought about how Jesus came to restore us to that rest and piece together this passage in Hebrews and then even as the capstone in Scripture in Revelation 14, John describes hell as a place where there is no rest. Hell itself, eternal separation from our God, is to spend eternity restlessly. But salvation, heaven, is to spend eternity in the Lord's rest. I had never thought of these things in these terms before. Or thought how profoundly big rest was in Scripture. And it's funny because in December, many of you know if you've been following along with Grace, you know that recently my wife Jen lost her father John. And so in December, we had the profound privilege of being with him as he transitioned into his rest. And I can remember being in the room with him, just me and John, watching him, praying over him, thinking about life and all the things that come as you watch someone transition. And I wasn't thinking about this sermon, believe me. I wasn't thinking about grace at all. It was one of those fogs that all you can possibly think about is the day. So I didn't even know that this was coming. And I certainly hadn't pieced together these things in Scripture, but I can remember watching him and being viscerally jealous of the rest that he was about to enter into. Being jealous of the peace that was about to be his. Being envious of this place where he was about to go, where all the things that seemed to worry us so much just fade away. All the tensions and the squabbles and the misunderstandings, all of our insecurities and all of trying to prove ourself and have enough and all of the envy and all the strife and all the battling within yourself, the sin that exists. In heaven, all of that fades and And you just enjoy God and His goodness. And I was jealous of that rest. And then as I studied this week, I see that I was jealous of that rest because that's what God designed us to do. God designed us to be where John is now. He designed us to enter back into his rest. And so Sabbath is a big deal because it's a reminder of the eternity that Jesus won for us and that the Father designed for us. Sabbath is a big deal because it reminds us of the eternity that Jesus won for us and God the Father designed for us. It's so much bigger than physical rest, don't you see? Yes, it's about physical rest. Yes, it's about taking a break. Yes, we can't be productive for seven days a week. And when we do that, we tend to lose ourselves in that. Yes, we were designed for more than productivity. And it is about taking a load off. And it is about taking a good Sunday nap. It's about all of those things. But it's about so much more. It's a way to bring eternity down into your living room once a week, into your yard and on your hike and in your car and in your songs. Once a week, we bring eternity down here into this world as a temporary reminder that there is an eternal rest waiting on us. Our reality is that we have to get back to work. Monday's coming. We can't rest all the time. We still carry the burden of productivity. Matter of fact, Proverbs tells us, it says, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like an armed man. All right, so chill out on slacking off as a result of the sermon. But even though we know we have to get back to work, God commands us to stop once a week and observe a Sabbath and rest and recover. And yes, be reminded that we are more than productive machines. Yes, be reminded that we are more than what we do and that our life is about more than just what we produce. But also be reminded that there is an eternal rest that is waiting this little pocket where in Sabbath, the burden of production is replaced by the burden of praise. This burden of production that we carry every day of our lives for just a season, for just a day, we take that off and we set that aside and we say, that's not for me today. And we carry the burden of praise. What Jesus says is easy and light. And we carry the burden of praise because when we stop and when we slow down and when we say no to things and we don't go out of the house and we don't go work and we don't do projects, when we just sit, we see who we love. We're reminded of God's goodness in our lives. I love that song that we've started to sing about the evidence. I'm terrible at song titles, but it has that line that all around me there's evidence of your goodness. Sabbaths help us notice that evidence. Sabbaths help us see God's goodness. And so we slow down and we look at our spouse that's weathered some storms with us and we're grateful for them. We look at our kids and we see their joy and we're grateful for them. We reflect back on the years that got us there and we're grateful for them. We look forward to what's ahead and we're grateful for that. We talk with our friends and people who mean something to us and we're grateful for those. We think about our God and how good he is to us and how he's seen us through and been patient in our wanderings and continues to forgive us and we're grateful for that. And in Sabbath, the burden of productivity is replaced by the burden of praise because in gratitude, we turn and reflect and praise God for everything that he's given us. That's what we do when we observe the Sabbath. We realize it's so much bigger than this temporary rest, that it's a picture of the eternal rest that we cling to, that waits for us. And the good news is, if we've placed our faith in Jesus, if we call God our Father and Jesus our Savior and understand that because Jesus died on the cross for us, He has covered over our sins and we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, then we can be sure that that eternal rest waits for us. And I just think it's incredible that God instructs us once a week to stop producing, not just because we actually need rest, but more because he wants to remind us of the eternity that he has designed for us, that is waiting for us. And in slowing down, we can finally see it and notice it. I have been blown away this week by how big of a deal Sabbath really is. And so I want to invite you. Will you join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life? Will you join me this year in properly prioritizing a Sabbath rest every week? Will we replace the burden of productivity with the burden of praise? You know, it's possible that if you don't feel as close to God as you could, if your walk with God feels a little bit disjointed, if you feel like you're a little stagnant, it's possible that we feel that way because we haven't been observing Sabbaths. Because we haven't been stopping and reminding ourselves of these things. It's possible that it feels like we can't get much traction in our walk with God because we have forgotten the simple spiritual discipline of the Sabbath that was so important to God that he wrote it into the top ten rules. He has a year every seven years to remind us of it and then one big year every 50 years to remind us of that seventh year, and he stopped creation on the Sabbath and invites us to enter into that with him. I don't know how we lost track of this day. I don't know how we as Christians just decided this wasn't a big deal anymore. More pointedly, I don't know how I lost track of that. But I don't want to lose track of it again. So I want to invite you to prioritize those Sabbaths this year. And let's just see what happens when once a week we stop our production and we focus on praise and we're reminded of the eternity that waits on us. Let's pray. Father, I always say that you are good when I pray because you are. But you are patient too. We know good and well that we should observe Sabbaths and we just don't do it. Would you convict us in that gentle way that only you can? Father, would you show us a path to prioritize this? And God, for the people who would do this, for those listening who are thinking, yeah, that's a thing that I want to do. I want to observe Sabbaths in my life. God, would you first give them the belief that they can actually do it, that they can actually stop for like 12 hours without the world spinning out of control? And then, God, when they do that, gosh, would your spirit just meet them there? Would they feel you in those moments? Would these become special times for us as we're reminded of the eternity that you have created for us? Father, it is in the name of the Lord of the Sabbath that we pray these things. Amen.

Amen. And good morning, Grace. Thank you for watching online. I can't wait until we can be back together. Until then, I hope that you're getting into a good rhythm of watching church in your sweatpants. I'm jealous of that. This is the third part of our series called Things You Should Know. And the idea with this series is there's certain things in Christendom and in church world that we talk about or reference. And my suspicion is that sometimes we just kind of nod along with those things, not really knowing what they are, not really having a full grasp of them, and maybe too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions. And so we wanted to take a series where we ask the questions for you and hopefully give you some answers or some things that maybe we haven't thought about before. And so this week we arrive at what I think is the forgotten practice of the Sabbath. If you've been around church world at all before, you've probably heard at least Sabbath mentioned. You probably know that it was a thing that the Jewish people observed in the Old Testament. You might even know that it's a thing that Jewish people continue to observe. But I think in the church world, we've largely forgotten the Sabbath, right? I mean, I know for me, I can't remember the last time I intentionally observed a Sabbath. I'm a pastor. Most of the Christians that I know, I can't remember the last time I heard someone talk to me about the Sabbath discipline and what they do and how they do it and incorporating this in their lives. And so I really think that it's kind of this forgotten aspect of our faith. And what's more than that is, it's pretty important in the Old Testament. And so I was excited this week when we put this one on the schedule. I knew Sabbath was coming up, so I've been kind of thinking about it in the background for the past couple of weeks, and I was excited to get to it and talk about it. And I figured that when we got here, we would talk about this much-needed rest, this need to rest and to recharge and refuel. And I think we can all appreciate that. This idea that we weren't made just to be machines, we weren't made just to be productive, that we should stop and slow down and focus on the gifts that God gives us and what we have to be grateful for and try to ask our question, why are we working so hard anyways? So I figured we'd spend the morning talking about how God has designed us to rest sometimes, how God has designed schedules and rhythms so that we can rest. And so I started the week getting ready to preach the sermon and doing research on the Sabbath and started to kind of pull a thread. And I realized, oh my gosh, I've never pulled this thread before. I've never known this about the Sabbath and what it could mean. And honestly, I started to get pretty excited in my office. I darted over to Kyle's office and basically gave him the mini sermon because I was so excited about what I was learning and excited to share it with you guys. And what I learned is that the Sabbath is so much bigger than just rest. So I want to take you kind of on the journey that I had to discover what the Sabbath is. And hopefully when we get to the end of it, you will join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life. But we see this law, this idea of the Sabbath, come up in Exodus chapter 20. It's part of the Ten Commandments. You may know what those are. These are the ten on the tablets, two stone tablets. Moses comes down the mountain and he presents the rules to the Hebrew people. These are the top 10 rules that God has for us. the seventh day is a Sabbath day to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord to the fore. And it's interesting to me that it's in the Ten Commandments. To me, it's a really curious commandment. Because if you look at the other Ten Commandments, the first one is, you know, don't have any other gods before me. God says nothing should be more important to you in your whole life than I am. Which, that makes sense. And then it's like, well, don't commit adultery. Yeah, that's certainly, that's got to be in the top 10, right? No killing people. That's a big deal. Don't steal things. Don't lie. Honor your parents. Like, all those make sense to be in God's top ten rules, but the Sabbath? I mean, if I had to sit down, if you gave me the Bible and you said, make a list of the top ten things that Christians need to do, the Sabbath is not going to make the cut. I doubt it makes the cut in your list either. And if you're sitting at home saying, no, it does make my list, and you don't regularly observe the Sabbath, you're a hypocrite. Right? It wouldn't make our list, but yet it made God's. And I've always thought that it made God's because of where it came in history. Because if you'll think about the group of people receiving these laws, they're the Israelites, the Hebrew people, the descendants of Abraham. They've been enslaved for 400 years. For 400 years, they were production machines. Seven days a week, several hours a day, morning to night, you work, you produce. With the whip at your back, you produce. When they receive these commandments, they're in the desert. They're fleeing from the Egyptians. And God comes to them and he says, these are the big 10 things I want you to prioritize in your life. And it's easy to see that he's speaking to his children. These children who have sat under the burden of productivity for their entire life, for generation after generation, and God is telling them, you're not machines. You're more than your work. You're more than what you produce. There's good gifts that I've given you in life that I want you to focus on sometimes. It's okay to stop and rest. And while those things are certainly applicable to us in 2021, they were especially applicable then. And so I've always suspected that maybe God included the Sabbath commandment and the Ten Commandments because of where they were at culturally. But then look at what he does. Not only in Jewish law does he want them to observe the Sabbath every seven days, but then every seventh year is a year of the Sabbath. It's a sabbatical year. And in those years, they're supposed to give their fields rest. They're supposed to give the earth rest, which by the way, we understand scientifically now is actually best for those fields because the nutrients can build back up and they can produce year after year after year. That's why farmers rotate their fields and their crops. But they didn't know that back then. They just knew that God told them to let their fields rest every seven years. Every seven years was a year-long reminder of Sabbath. And then on the seventh, seventh year, so every 50 years, they had what was called the year of Jubilee. And in the year of Jubilee, all debts were canceled. All land was restored to rightful owners. Slaves were freed. It was like a huge societal reset button. Every year, every 50 years, the year of Jubilee is a year-long Sabbath, and it hits reset on all of culture and society, and then it starts again. Seems like a bigger deal than just rest. So as I'm thinking through Sabbath and this sermon and what we need to learn about it, I really started to wonder, why is rest such a big deal to God? Why is He so interested that I just take a load off every now and again? Why does God just seem to be such a nap fan on Sundays? Like there's got to be more to it than that. And so as I kind of pulled that thread a little more, I was reminded of the very first Sabbath that we see in Genesis after creation. And we may know the creation story. In the beginning, God was there and he created the heavens and the earth, right? And then each day he created a new thing. On day one, he created something. Day three, day four, day five, all the way through day six when he created man. And then on day seven, he rested. This is what we read about the Sabbath in Genesis chapter two, verses one through three. And listen, I've got a bunch of verses for you this morning. So if you have a Bible, get ready to jump around. But this is Genesis 2, 1 through 3. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day, God had finished his work that he had done. And he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it, God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. God himself modeled the Sabbath for us a couple thousand years before he instituted it as a law. And somebody else pointed out, I didn't notice this, but other people pointed it out and I thought it's fascinating. If you read through the creation story, if you have your Bible there, then you can look through Genesis chapter 1 and look at each day. Each day has an evening and a morning, or a morning and an evening. It'll say it was day two, God created these things, and it was morning and evening, the third day. It was day four, God created these things, then it was evening, then it was morning, the fifth day. But we get to day seven, and it's the only day without an evening and a morning. We get to day seven, which in Hebrew tradition is the number of completion. It's the number of perfection. It means we're done messing with this. That's over. It's finished. And so God did his work and then he rested. And what's interesting is there's no evening and there's morning. There's no eighth day. It doesn't say on the eighth day, God created more stuff. On the eighth day, God started working on the rest of the universe. No, he entered into rest. He was done. He had made it. His work was finished. And now God entered into rest on the day of perfection to an unending seventh day. And the interesting part is we were created to join him in that rest. Adam and Eve were created to participate in that rest with God. We're told that God walked with them in the cool of the evening. We're told we see evidence that they didn't have to work for their food. It just grew on trees and they grabbed it. They were born into eternal and perfect retirement. They did not carry the burden of productivity. They only carried the burden of praise, which is a really easy burden to carry when you're walking around with God in the cool of the evening every day. It's important that we understand that Adam and Eve, and therefore us, were created to join God in this perfect eternal rest. But sin disrupted that rest. Sin ruined that rest. And it's so fascinating to me that the curse for sin, the punishment for sin, if you look over in Genesis chapter 3, when God approaches Adam and Eve after they eat of the tree that they shouldn't have eaten of and they sinned, that God punishes them and he curses them. And what's the curse? Work. Productivity. Now you're going to have to work the field. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to fight against thorns. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to produce your own food. You didn't have to do that before. The curse in the garden is the curse of the burden of productivity. Do you understand that? Now you have to work. Now because of your sin, you can't rest. I created you for rest, but now because you broke that rest, you have to work and you can't exist in my rest. This to me was a profound thought that God created us to enter into his perfect and eternal rest that he began after creation. Just participate in that with him relationally. He did not design us to carry the burden of productivity. That's the curse of sin. And then it occurred to me that Jesus came to restore our perfect rest. Jesus himself came as a way to restore us back into the Father's rest so that we could have a way to enter back into his rest. And what I began to understand is that when we see rest in the Bible, we're not talking about just taking a load off for a day. We're really talking about eternity. We're talking about entering into heaven with God, re-entering into the rest for which we were designed. And it's interesting to me that I never caught it before, what Jesus says in Matthew. In Matthew chapter 11, he says this, I used to always think that that verse was for people who were living under the oppression of legalism, and it is. But we see here that he's talking about more than just rest. He's talking about more than just a day to recover. He says, I will give you rest for your souls. Your souls can rest in me. I believe Jesus is talking about a larger rest here. And then when we fast forward up to Hebrews chapter 4, we see the author in Hebrews talking in you can read it. It's all through chapters 3 and 4 of Hebrews, speaks of eternity in the terms of entering into the Lord's rest. He speaks of heaven, of being with God forever and ever. He speaks of that in terms of entering back into that rest that God designed us for, that Jesus won for us. And then at the end of the Bible in here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, write this, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. Blessed indeed, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them. I had never noticed it before or put together everything. I knew of each of these passages and each of these teachings in disparate parts, but never before had I seen this theme of rest woven through the scriptures. This idea from the very onset that God designed us to enter into his perfect eternal rest where our souls can be easy and all we carry is the burden of praise. And I had never thought about how Jesus came to restore us to that rest and piece together this passage in Hebrews and then even as the capstone in Scripture in Revelation 14, John describes hell as a place where there is no rest. Hell itself, eternal separation from our God, is to spend eternity restlessly. But salvation, heaven, is to spend eternity in the Lord's rest. I had never thought of these things in these terms before. Or thought how profoundly big rest was in Scripture. And it's funny because in December, many of you know if you've been following along with Grace, you know that recently my wife Jen lost her father John. And so in December, we had the profound privilege of being with him as he transitioned into his rest. And I can remember being in the room with him, just me and John, watching him, praying over him, thinking about life and all the things that come as you watch someone transition. And I wasn't thinking about this sermon, believe me. I wasn't thinking about grace at all. It was one of those fogs that all you can possibly think about is the day. So I didn't even know that this was coming. And I certainly hadn't pieced together these things in Scripture, but I can remember watching him and being viscerally jealous of the rest that he was about to enter into. Being jealous of the peace that was about to be his. Being envious of this place where he was about to go, where all the things that seemed to worry us so much just fade away. All the tensions and the squabbles and the misunderstandings, all of our insecurities and all of trying to prove ourself and have enough and all of the envy and all the strife and all the battling within yourself, the sin that exists. In heaven, all of that fades and And you just enjoy God and His goodness. And I was jealous of that rest. And then as I studied this week, I see that I was jealous of that rest because that's what God designed us to do. God designed us to be where John is now. He designed us to enter back into his rest. And so Sabbath is a big deal because it's a reminder of the eternity that Jesus won for us and that the Father designed for us. Sabbath is a big deal because it reminds us of the eternity that Jesus won for us and God the Father designed for us. It's so much bigger than physical rest, don't you see? Yes, it's about physical rest. Yes, it's about taking a break. Yes, we can't be productive for seven days a week. And when we do that, we tend to lose ourselves in that. Yes, we were designed for more than productivity. And it is about taking a load off. And it is about taking a good Sunday nap. It's about all of those things. But it's about so much more. It's a way to bring eternity down into your living room once a week, into your yard and on your hike and in your car and in your songs. Once a week, we bring eternity down here into this world as a temporary reminder that there is an eternal rest waiting on us. Our reality is that we have to get back to work. Monday's coming. We can't rest all the time. We still carry the burden of productivity. Matter of fact, Proverbs tells us, it says, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like an armed man. All right, so chill out on slacking off as a result of the sermon. But even though we know we have to get back to work, God commands us to stop once a week and observe a Sabbath and rest and recover. And yes, be reminded that we are more than productive machines. Yes, be reminded that we are more than what we do and that our life is about more than just what we produce. But also be reminded that there is an eternal rest that is waiting this little pocket where in Sabbath, the burden of production is replaced by the burden of praise. This burden of production that we carry every day of our lives for just a season, for just a day, we take that off and we set that aside and we say, that's not for me today. And we carry the burden of praise. What Jesus says is easy and light. And we carry the burden of praise because when we stop and when we slow down and when we say no to things and we don't go out of the house and we don't go work and we don't do projects, when we just sit, we see who we love. We're reminded of God's goodness in our lives. I love that song that we've started to sing about the evidence. I'm terrible at song titles, but it has that line that all around me there's evidence of your goodness. Sabbaths help us notice that evidence. Sabbaths help us see God's goodness. And so we slow down and we look at our spouse that's weathered some storms with us and we're grateful for them. We look at our kids and we see their joy and we're grateful for them. We reflect back on the years that got us there and we're grateful for them. We look forward to what's ahead and we're grateful for that. We talk with our friends and people who mean something to us and we're grateful for those. We think about our God and how good he is to us and how he's seen us through and been patient in our wanderings and continues to forgive us and we're grateful for that. And in Sabbath, the burden of productivity is replaced by the burden of praise because in gratitude, we turn and reflect and praise God for everything that he's given us. That's what we do when we observe the Sabbath. We realize it's so much bigger than this temporary rest, that it's a picture of the eternal rest that we cling to, that waits for us. And the good news is, if we've placed our faith in Jesus, if we call God our Father and Jesus our Savior and understand that because Jesus died on the cross for us, He has covered over our sins and we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, then we can be sure that that eternal rest waits for us. And I just think it's incredible that God instructs us once a week to stop producing, not just because we actually need rest, but more because he wants to remind us of the eternity that he has designed for us, that is waiting for us. And in slowing down, we can finally see it and notice it. I have been blown away this week by how big of a deal Sabbath really is. And so I want to invite you. Will you join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life? Will you join me this year in properly prioritizing a Sabbath rest every week? Will we replace the burden of productivity with the burden of praise? You know, it's possible that if you don't feel as close to God as you could, if your walk with God feels a little bit disjointed, if you feel like you're a little stagnant, it's possible that we feel that way because we haven't been observing Sabbaths. Because we haven't been stopping and reminding ourselves of these things. It's possible that it feels like we can't get much traction in our walk with God because we have forgotten the simple spiritual discipline of the Sabbath that was so important to God that he wrote it into the top ten rules. He has a year every seven years to remind us of it and then one big year every 50 years to remind us of that seventh year, and he stopped creation on the Sabbath and invites us to enter into that with him. I don't know how we lost track of this day. I don't know how we as Christians just decided this wasn't a big deal anymore. More pointedly, I don't know how I lost track of that. But I don't want to lose track of it again. So I want to invite you to prioritize those Sabbaths this year. And let's just see what happens when once a week we stop our production and we focus on praise and we're reminded of the eternity that waits on us. Let's pray. Father, I always say that you are good when I pray because you are. But you are patient too. We know good and well that we should observe Sabbaths and we just don't do it. Would you convict us in that gentle way that only you can? Father, would you show us a path to prioritize this? And God, for the people who would do this, for those listening who are thinking, yeah, that's a thing that I want to do. I want to observe Sabbaths in my life. God, would you first give them the belief that they can actually do it, that they can actually stop for like 12 hours without the world spinning out of control? And then, God, when they do that, gosh, would your spirit just meet them there? Would they feel you in those moments? Would these become special times for us as we're reminded of the eternity that you have created for us? Father, it is in the name of the Lord of the Sabbath that we pray these things. Amen.

Amen. And good morning, Grace. Thank you for watching online. I can't wait until we can be back together. Until then, I hope that you're getting into a good rhythm of watching church in your sweatpants. I'm jealous of that. This is the third part of our series called Things You Should Know. And the idea with this series is there's certain things in Christendom and in church world that we talk about or reference. And my suspicion is that sometimes we just kind of nod along with those things, not really knowing what they are, not really having a full grasp of them, and maybe too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions. And so we wanted to take a series where we ask the questions for you and hopefully give you some answers or some things that maybe we haven't thought about before. And so this week we arrive at what I think is the forgotten practice of the Sabbath. If you've been around church world at all before, you've probably heard at least Sabbath mentioned. You probably know that it was a thing that the Jewish people observed in the Old Testament. You might even know that it's a thing that Jewish people continue to observe. But I think in the church world, we've largely forgotten the Sabbath, right? I mean, I know for me, I can't remember the last time I intentionally observed a Sabbath. I'm a pastor. Most of the Christians that I know, I can't remember the last time I heard someone talk to me about the Sabbath discipline and what they do and how they do it and incorporating this in their lives. And so I really think that it's kind of this forgotten aspect of our faith. And what's more than that is, it's pretty important in the Old Testament. And so I was excited this week when we put this one on the schedule. I knew Sabbath was coming up, so I've been kind of thinking about it in the background for the past couple of weeks, and I was excited to get to it and talk about it. And I figured that when we got here, we would talk about this much-needed rest, this need to rest and to recharge and refuel. And I think we can all appreciate that. This idea that we weren't made just to be machines, we weren't made just to be productive, that we should stop and slow down and focus on the gifts that God gives us and what we have to be grateful for and try to ask our question, why are we working so hard anyways? So I figured we'd spend the morning talking about how God has designed us to rest sometimes, how God has designed schedules and rhythms so that we can rest. And so I started the week getting ready to preach the sermon and doing research on the Sabbath and started to kind of pull a thread. And I realized, oh my gosh, I've never pulled this thread before. I've never known this about the Sabbath and what it could mean. And honestly, I started to get pretty excited in my office. I darted over to Kyle's office and basically gave him the mini sermon because I was so excited about what I was learning and excited to share it with you guys. And what I learned is that the Sabbath is so much bigger than just rest. So I want to take you kind of on the journey that I had to discover what the Sabbath is. And hopefully when we get to the end of it, you will join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life. But we see this law, this idea of the Sabbath, come up in Exodus chapter 20. It's part of the Ten Commandments. You may know what those are. These are the ten on the tablets, two stone tablets. Moses comes down the mountain and he presents the rules to the Hebrew people. These are the top 10 rules that God has for us. the seventh day is a Sabbath day to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord to the fore. And it's interesting to me that it's in the Ten Commandments. To me, it's a really curious commandment. Because if you look at the other Ten Commandments, the first one is, you know, don't have any other gods before me. God says nothing should be more important to you in your whole life than I am. Which, that makes sense. And then it's like, well, don't commit adultery. Yeah, that's certainly, that's got to be in the top 10, right? No killing people. That's a big deal. Don't steal things. Don't lie. Honor your parents. Like, all those make sense to be in God's top ten rules, but the Sabbath? I mean, if I had to sit down, if you gave me the Bible and you said, make a list of the top ten things that Christians need to do, the Sabbath is not going to make the cut. I doubt it makes the cut in your list either. And if you're sitting at home saying, no, it does make my list, and you don't regularly observe the Sabbath, you're a hypocrite. Right? It wouldn't make our list, but yet it made God's. And I've always thought that it made God's because of where it came in history. Because if you'll think about the group of people receiving these laws, they're the Israelites, the Hebrew people, the descendants of Abraham. They've been enslaved for 400 years. For 400 years, they were production machines. Seven days a week, several hours a day, morning to night, you work, you produce. With the whip at your back, you produce. When they receive these commandments, they're in the desert. They're fleeing from the Egyptians. And God comes to them and he says, these are the big 10 things I want you to prioritize in your life. And it's easy to see that he's speaking to his children. These children who have sat under the burden of productivity for their entire life, for generation after generation, and God is telling them, you're not machines. You're more than your work. You're more than what you produce. There's good gifts that I've given you in life that I want you to focus on sometimes. It's okay to stop and rest. And while those things are certainly applicable to us in 2021, they were especially applicable then. And so I've always suspected that maybe God included the Sabbath commandment and the Ten Commandments because of where they were at culturally. But then look at what he does. Not only in Jewish law does he want them to observe the Sabbath every seven days, but then every seventh year is a year of the Sabbath. It's a sabbatical year. And in those years, they're supposed to give their fields rest. They're supposed to give the earth rest, which by the way, we understand scientifically now is actually best for those fields because the nutrients can build back up and they can produce year after year after year. That's why farmers rotate their fields and their crops. But they didn't know that back then. They just knew that God told them to let their fields rest every seven years. Every seven years was a year-long reminder of Sabbath. And then on the seventh, seventh year, so every 50 years, they had what was called the year of Jubilee. And in the year of Jubilee, all debts were canceled. All land was restored to rightful owners. Slaves were freed. It was like a huge societal reset button. Every year, every 50 years, the year of Jubilee is a year-long Sabbath, and it hits reset on all of culture and society, and then it starts again. Seems like a bigger deal than just rest. So as I'm thinking through Sabbath and this sermon and what we need to learn about it, I really started to wonder, why is rest such a big deal to God? Why is He so interested that I just take a load off every now and again? Why does God just seem to be such a nap fan on Sundays? Like there's got to be more to it than that. And so as I kind of pulled that thread a little more, I was reminded of the very first Sabbath that we see in Genesis after creation. And we may know the creation story. In the beginning, God was there and he created the heavens and the earth, right? And then each day he created a new thing. On day one, he created something. Day three, day four, day five, all the way through day six when he created man. And then on day seven, he rested. This is what we read about the Sabbath in Genesis chapter two, verses one through three. And listen, I've got a bunch of verses for you this morning. So if you have a Bible, get ready to jump around. But this is Genesis 2, 1 through 3. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day, God had finished his work that he had done. And he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it, God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. God himself modeled the Sabbath for us a couple thousand years before he instituted it as a law. And somebody else pointed out, I didn't notice this, but other people pointed it out and I thought it's fascinating. If you read through the creation story, if you have your Bible there, then you can look through Genesis chapter 1 and look at each day. Each day has an evening and a morning, or a morning and an evening. It'll say it was day two, God created these things, and it was morning and evening, the third day. It was day four, God created these things, then it was evening, then it was morning, the fifth day. But we get to day seven, and it's the only day without an evening and a morning. We get to day seven, which in Hebrew tradition is the number of completion. It's the number of perfection. It means we're done messing with this. That's over. It's finished. And so God did his work and then he rested. And what's interesting is there's no evening and there's morning. There's no eighth day. It doesn't say on the eighth day, God created more stuff. On the eighth day, God started working on the rest of the universe. No, he entered into rest. He was done. He had made it. His work was finished. And now God entered into rest on the day of perfection to an unending seventh day. And the interesting part is we were created to join him in that rest. Adam and Eve were created to participate in that rest with God. We're told that God walked with them in the cool of the evening. We're told we see evidence that they didn't have to work for their food. It just grew on trees and they grabbed it. They were born into eternal and perfect retirement. They did not carry the burden of productivity. They only carried the burden of praise, which is a really easy burden to carry when you're walking around with God in the cool of the evening every day. It's important that we understand that Adam and Eve, and therefore us, were created to join God in this perfect eternal rest. But sin disrupted that rest. Sin ruined that rest. And it's so fascinating to me that the curse for sin, the punishment for sin, if you look over in Genesis chapter 3, when God approaches Adam and Eve after they eat of the tree that they shouldn't have eaten of and they sinned, that God punishes them and he curses them. And what's the curse? Work. Productivity. Now you're going to have to work the field. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to fight against thorns. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to produce your own food. You didn't have to do that before. The curse in the garden is the curse of the burden of productivity. Do you understand that? Now you have to work. Now because of your sin, you can't rest. I created you for rest, but now because you broke that rest, you have to work and you can't exist in my rest. This to me was a profound thought that God created us to enter into his perfect and eternal rest that he began after creation. Just participate in that with him relationally. He did not design us to carry the burden of productivity. That's the curse of sin. And then it occurred to me that Jesus came to restore our perfect rest. Jesus himself came as a way to restore us back into the Father's rest so that we could have a way to enter back into his rest. And what I began to understand is that when we see rest in the Bible, we're not talking about just taking a load off for a day. We're really talking about eternity. We're talking about entering into heaven with God, re-entering into the rest for which we were designed. And it's interesting to me that I never caught it before, what Jesus says in Matthew. In Matthew chapter 11, he says this, I used to always think that that verse was for people who were living under the oppression of legalism, and it is. But we see here that he's talking about more than just rest. He's talking about more than just a day to recover. He says, I will give you rest for your souls. Your souls can rest in me. I believe Jesus is talking about a larger rest here. And then when we fast forward up to Hebrews chapter 4, we see the author in Hebrews talking in you can read it. It's all through chapters 3 and 4 of Hebrews, speaks of eternity in the terms of entering into the Lord's rest. He speaks of heaven, of being with God forever and ever. He speaks of that in terms of entering back into that rest that God designed us for, that Jesus won for us. And then at the end of the Bible in here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, write this, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. Blessed indeed, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them. I had never noticed it before or put together everything. I knew of each of these passages and each of these teachings in disparate parts, but never before had I seen this theme of rest woven through the scriptures. This idea from the very onset that God designed us to enter into his perfect eternal rest where our souls can be easy and all we carry is the burden of praise. And I had never thought about how Jesus came to restore us to that rest and piece together this passage in Hebrews and then even as the capstone in Scripture in Revelation 14, John describes hell as a place where there is no rest. Hell itself, eternal separation from our God, is to spend eternity restlessly. But salvation, heaven, is to spend eternity in the Lord's rest. I had never thought of these things in these terms before. Or thought how profoundly big rest was in Scripture. And it's funny because in December, many of you know if you've been following along with Grace, you know that recently my wife Jen lost her father John. And so in December, we had the profound privilege of being with him as he transitioned into his rest. And I can remember being in the room with him, just me and John, watching him, praying over him, thinking about life and all the things that come as you watch someone transition. And I wasn't thinking about this sermon, believe me. I wasn't thinking about grace at all. It was one of those fogs that all you can possibly think about is the day. So I didn't even know that this was coming. And I certainly hadn't pieced together these things in Scripture, but I can remember watching him and being viscerally jealous of the rest that he was about to enter into. Being jealous of the peace that was about to be his. Being envious of this place where he was about to go, where all the things that seemed to worry us so much just fade away. All the tensions and the squabbles and the misunderstandings, all of our insecurities and all of trying to prove ourself and have enough and all of the envy and all the strife and all the battling within yourself, the sin that exists. In heaven, all of that fades and And you just enjoy God and His goodness. And I was jealous of that rest. And then as I studied this week, I see that I was jealous of that rest because that's what God designed us to do. God designed us to be where John is now. He designed us to enter back into his rest. And so Sabbath is a big deal because it's a reminder of the eternity that Jesus won for us and that the Father designed for us. Sabbath is a big deal because it reminds us of the eternity that Jesus won for us and God the Father designed for us. It's so much bigger than physical rest, don't you see? Yes, it's about physical rest. Yes, it's about taking a break. Yes, we can't be productive for seven days a week. And when we do that, we tend to lose ourselves in that. Yes, we were designed for more than productivity. And it is about taking a load off. And it is about taking a good Sunday nap. It's about all of those things. But it's about so much more. It's a way to bring eternity down into your living room once a week, into your yard and on your hike and in your car and in your songs. Once a week, we bring eternity down here into this world as a temporary reminder that there is an eternal rest waiting on us. Our reality is that we have to get back to work. Monday's coming. We can't rest all the time. We still carry the burden of productivity. Matter of fact, Proverbs tells us, it says, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like an armed man. All right, so chill out on slacking off as a result of the sermon. But even though we know we have to get back to work, God commands us to stop once a week and observe a Sabbath and rest and recover. And yes, be reminded that we are more than productive machines. Yes, be reminded that we are more than what we do and that our life is about more than just what we produce. But also be reminded that there is an eternal rest that is waiting this little pocket where in Sabbath, the burden of production is replaced by the burden of praise. This burden of production that we carry every day of our lives for just a season, for just a day, we take that off and we set that aside and we say, that's not for me today. And we carry the burden of praise. What Jesus says is easy and light. And we carry the burden of praise because when we stop and when we slow down and when we say no to things and we don't go out of the house and we don't go work and we don't do projects, when we just sit, we see who we love. We're reminded of God's goodness in our lives. I love that song that we've started to sing about the evidence. I'm terrible at song titles, but it has that line that all around me there's evidence of your goodness. Sabbaths help us notice that evidence. Sabbaths help us see God's goodness. And so we slow down and we look at our spouse that's weathered some storms with us and we're grateful for them. We look at our kids and we see their joy and we're grateful for them. We reflect back on the years that got us there and we're grateful for them. We look forward to what's ahead and we're grateful for that. We talk with our friends and people who mean something to us and we're grateful for those. We think about our God and how good he is to us and how he's seen us through and been patient in our wanderings and continues to forgive us and we're grateful for that. And in Sabbath, the burden of productivity is replaced by the burden of praise because in gratitude, we turn and reflect and praise God for everything that he's given us. That's what we do when we observe the Sabbath. We realize it's so much bigger than this temporary rest, that it's a picture of the eternal rest that we cling to, that waits for us. And the good news is, if we've placed our faith in Jesus, if we call God our Father and Jesus our Savior and understand that because Jesus died on the cross for us, He has covered over our sins and we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, then we can be sure that that eternal rest waits for us. And I just think it's incredible that God instructs us once a week to stop producing, not just because we actually need rest, but more because he wants to remind us of the eternity that he has designed for us, that is waiting for us. And in slowing down, we can finally see it and notice it. I have been blown away this week by how big of a deal Sabbath really is. And so I want to invite you. Will you join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life? Will you join me this year in properly prioritizing a Sabbath rest every week? Will we replace the burden of productivity with the burden of praise? You know, it's possible that if you don't feel as close to God as you could, if your walk with God feels a little bit disjointed, if you feel like you're a little stagnant, it's possible that we feel that way because we haven't been observing Sabbaths. Because we haven't been stopping and reminding ourselves of these things. It's possible that it feels like we can't get much traction in our walk with God because we have forgotten the simple spiritual discipline of the Sabbath that was so important to God that he wrote it into the top ten rules. He has a year every seven years to remind us of it and then one big year every 50 years to remind us of that seventh year, and he stopped creation on the Sabbath and invites us to enter into that with him. I don't know how we lost track of this day. I don't know how we as Christians just decided this wasn't a big deal anymore. More pointedly, I don't know how I lost track of that. But I don't want to lose track of it again. So I want to invite you to prioritize those Sabbaths this year. And let's just see what happens when once a week we stop our production and we focus on praise and we're reminded of the eternity that waits on us. Let's pray. Father, I always say that you are good when I pray because you are. But you are patient too. We know good and well that we should observe Sabbaths and we just don't do it. Would you convict us in that gentle way that only you can? Father, would you show us a path to prioritize this? And God, for the people who would do this, for those listening who are thinking, yeah, that's a thing that I want to do. I want to observe Sabbaths in my life. God, would you first give them the belief that they can actually do it, that they can actually stop for like 12 hours without the world spinning out of control? And then, God, when they do that, gosh, would your spirit just meet them there? Would they feel you in those moments? Would these become special times for us as we're reminded of the eternity that you have created for us? Father, it is in the name of the Lord of the Sabbath that we pray these things. Amen.

Amen. And good morning, Grace. Thank you for watching online. I can't wait until we can be back together. Until then, I hope that you're getting into a good rhythm of watching church in your sweatpants. I'm jealous of that. This is the third part of our series called Things You Should Know. And the idea with this series is there's certain things in Christendom and in church world that we talk about or reference. And my suspicion is that sometimes we just kind of nod along with those things, not really knowing what they are, not really having a full grasp of them, and maybe too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions. And so we wanted to take a series where we ask the questions for you and hopefully give you some answers or some things that maybe we haven't thought about before. And so this week we arrive at what I think is the forgotten practice of the Sabbath. If you've been around church world at all before, you've probably heard at least Sabbath mentioned. You probably know that it was a thing that the Jewish people observed in the Old Testament. You might even know that it's a thing that Jewish people continue to observe. But I think in the church world, we've largely forgotten the Sabbath, right? I mean, I know for me, I can't remember the last time I intentionally observed a Sabbath. I'm a pastor. Most of the Christians that I know, I can't remember the last time I heard someone talk to me about the Sabbath discipline and what they do and how they do it and incorporating this in their lives. And so I really think that it's kind of this forgotten aspect of our faith. And what's more than that is, it's pretty important in the Old Testament. And so I was excited this week when we put this one on the schedule. I knew Sabbath was coming up, so I've been kind of thinking about it in the background for the past couple of weeks, and I was excited to get to it and talk about it. And I figured that when we got here, we would talk about this much-needed rest, this need to rest and to recharge and refuel. And I think we can all appreciate that. This idea that we weren't made just to be machines, we weren't made just to be productive, that we should stop and slow down and focus on the gifts that God gives us and what we have to be grateful for and try to ask our question, why are we working so hard anyways? So I figured we'd spend the morning talking about how God has designed us to rest sometimes, how God has designed schedules and rhythms so that we can rest. And so I started the week getting ready to preach the sermon and doing research on the Sabbath and started to kind of pull a thread. And I realized, oh my gosh, I've never pulled this thread before. I've never known this about the Sabbath and what it could mean. And honestly, I started to get pretty excited in my office. I darted over to Kyle's office and basically gave him the mini sermon because I was so excited about what I was learning and excited to share it with you guys. And what I learned is that the Sabbath is so much bigger than just rest. So I want to take you kind of on the journey that I had to discover what the Sabbath is. And hopefully when we get to the end of it, you will join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life. But we see this law, this idea of the Sabbath, come up in Exodus chapter 20. It's part of the Ten Commandments. You may know what those are. These are the ten on the tablets, two stone tablets. Moses comes down the mountain and he presents the rules to the Hebrew people. These are the top 10 rules that God has for us. the seventh day is a Sabbath day to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord to the fore. And it's interesting to me that it's in the Ten Commandments. To me, it's a really curious commandment. Because if you look at the other Ten Commandments, the first one is, you know, don't have any other gods before me. God says nothing should be more important to you in your whole life than I am. Which, that makes sense. And then it's like, well, don't commit adultery. Yeah, that's certainly, that's got to be in the top 10, right? No killing people. That's a big deal. Don't steal things. Don't lie. Honor your parents. Like, all those make sense to be in God's top ten rules, but the Sabbath? I mean, if I had to sit down, if you gave me the Bible and you said, make a list of the top ten things that Christians need to do, the Sabbath is not going to make the cut. I doubt it makes the cut in your list either. And if you're sitting at home saying, no, it does make my list, and you don't regularly observe the Sabbath, you're a hypocrite. Right? It wouldn't make our list, but yet it made God's. And I've always thought that it made God's because of where it came in history. Because if you'll think about the group of people receiving these laws, they're the Israelites, the Hebrew people, the descendants of Abraham. They've been enslaved for 400 years. For 400 years, they were production machines. Seven days a week, several hours a day, morning to night, you work, you produce. With the whip at your back, you produce. When they receive these commandments, they're in the desert. They're fleeing from the Egyptians. And God comes to them and he says, these are the big 10 things I want you to prioritize in your life. And it's easy to see that he's speaking to his children. These children who have sat under the burden of productivity for their entire life, for generation after generation, and God is telling them, you're not machines. You're more than your work. You're more than what you produce. There's good gifts that I've given you in life that I want you to focus on sometimes. It's okay to stop and rest. And while those things are certainly applicable to us in 2021, they were especially applicable then. And so I've always suspected that maybe God included the Sabbath commandment and the Ten Commandments because of where they were at culturally. But then look at what he does. Not only in Jewish law does he want them to observe the Sabbath every seven days, but then every seventh year is a year of the Sabbath. It's a sabbatical year. And in those years, they're supposed to give their fields rest. They're supposed to give the earth rest, which by the way, we understand scientifically now is actually best for those fields because the nutrients can build back up and they can produce year after year after year. That's why farmers rotate their fields and their crops. But they didn't know that back then. They just knew that God told them to let their fields rest every seven years. Every seven years was a year-long reminder of Sabbath. And then on the seventh, seventh year, so every 50 years, they had what was called the year of Jubilee. And in the year of Jubilee, all debts were canceled. All land was restored to rightful owners. Slaves were freed. It was like a huge societal reset button. Every year, every 50 years, the year of Jubilee is a year-long Sabbath, and it hits reset on all of culture and society, and then it starts again. Seems like a bigger deal than just rest. So as I'm thinking through Sabbath and this sermon and what we need to learn about it, I really started to wonder, why is rest such a big deal to God? Why is He so interested that I just take a load off every now and again? Why does God just seem to be such a nap fan on Sundays? Like there's got to be more to it than that. And so as I kind of pulled that thread a little more, I was reminded of the very first Sabbath that we see in Genesis after creation. And we may know the creation story. In the beginning, God was there and he created the heavens and the earth, right? And then each day he created a new thing. On day one, he created something. Day three, day four, day five, all the way through day six when he created man. And then on day seven, he rested. This is what we read about the Sabbath in Genesis chapter two, verses one through three. And listen, I've got a bunch of verses for you this morning. So if you have a Bible, get ready to jump around. But this is Genesis 2, 1 through 3. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day, God had finished his work that he had done. And he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it, God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. God himself modeled the Sabbath for us a couple thousand years before he instituted it as a law. And somebody else pointed out, I didn't notice this, but other people pointed it out and I thought it's fascinating. If you read through the creation story, if you have your Bible there, then you can look through Genesis chapter 1 and look at each day. Each day has an evening and a morning, or a morning and an evening. It'll say it was day two, God created these things, and it was morning and evening, the third day. It was day four, God created these things, then it was evening, then it was morning, the fifth day. But we get to day seven, and it's the only day without an evening and a morning. We get to day seven, which in Hebrew tradition is the number of completion. It's the number of perfection. It means we're done messing with this. That's over. It's finished. And so God did his work and then he rested. And what's interesting is there's no evening and there's morning. There's no eighth day. It doesn't say on the eighth day, God created more stuff. On the eighth day, God started working on the rest of the universe. No, he entered into rest. He was done. He had made it. His work was finished. And now God entered into rest on the day of perfection to an unending seventh day. And the interesting part is we were created to join him in that rest. Adam and Eve were created to participate in that rest with God. We're told that God walked with them in the cool of the evening. We're told we see evidence that they didn't have to work for their food. It just grew on trees and they grabbed it. They were born into eternal and perfect retirement. They did not carry the burden of productivity. They only carried the burden of praise, which is a really easy burden to carry when you're walking around with God in the cool of the evening every day. It's important that we understand that Adam and Eve, and therefore us, were created to join God in this perfect eternal rest. But sin disrupted that rest. Sin ruined that rest. And it's so fascinating to me that the curse for sin, the punishment for sin, if you look over in Genesis chapter 3, when God approaches Adam and Eve after they eat of the tree that they shouldn't have eaten of and they sinned, that God punishes them and he curses them. And what's the curse? Work. Productivity. Now you're going to have to work the field. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to fight against thorns. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to produce your own food. You didn't have to do that before. The curse in the garden is the curse of the burden of productivity. Do you understand that? Now you have to work. Now because of your sin, you can't rest. I created you for rest, but now because you broke that rest, you have to work and you can't exist in my rest. This to me was a profound thought that God created us to enter into his perfect and eternal rest that he began after creation. Just participate in that with him relationally. He did not design us to carry the burden of productivity. That's the curse of sin. And then it occurred to me that Jesus came to restore our perfect rest. Jesus himself came as a way to restore us back into the Father's rest so that we could have a way to enter back into his rest. And what I began to understand is that when we see rest in the Bible, we're not talking about just taking a load off for a day. We're really talking about eternity. We're talking about entering into heaven with God, re-entering into the rest for which we were designed. And it's interesting to me that I never caught it before, what Jesus says in Matthew. In Matthew chapter 11, he says this, I used to always think that that verse was for people who were living under the oppression of legalism, and it is. But we see here that he's talking about more than just rest. He's talking about more than just a day to recover. He says, I will give you rest for your souls. Your souls can rest in me. I believe Jesus is talking about a larger rest here. And then when we fast forward up to Hebrews chapter 4, we see the author in Hebrews talking in you can read it. It's all through chapters 3 and 4 of Hebrews, speaks of eternity in the terms of entering into the Lord's rest. He speaks of heaven, of being with God forever and ever. He speaks of that in terms of entering back into that rest that God designed us for, that Jesus won for us. And then at the end of the Bible in here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, write this, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. Blessed indeed, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them. I had never noticed it before or put together everything. I knew of each of these passages and each of these teachings in disparate parts, but never before had I seen this theme of rest woven through the scriptures. This idea from the very onset that God designed us to enter into his perfect eternal rest where our souls can be easy and all we carry is the burden of praise. And I had never thought about how Jesus came to restore us to that rest and piece together this passage in Hebrews and then even as the capstone in Scripture in Revelation 14, John describes hell as a place where there is no rest. Hell itself, eternal separation from our God, is to spend eternity restlessly. But salvation, heaven, is to spend eternity in the Lord's rest. I had never thought of these things in these terms before. Or thought how profoundly big rest was in Scripture. And it's funny because in December, many of you know if you've been following along with Grace, you know that recently my wife Jen lost her father John. And so in December, we had the profound privilege of being with him as he transitioned into his rest. And I can remember being in the room with him, just me and John, watching him, praying over him, thinking about life and all the things that come as you watch someone transition. And I wasn't thinking about this sermon, believe me. I wasn't thinking about grace at all. It was one of those fogs that all you can possibly think about is the day. So I didn't even know that this was coming. And I certainly hadn't pieced together these things in Scripture, but I can remember watching him and being viscerally jealous of the rest that he was about to enter into. Being jealous of the peace that was about to be his. Being envious of this place where he was about to go, where all the things that seemed to worry us so much just fade away. All the tensions and the squabbles and the misunderstandings, all of our insecurities and all of trying to prove ourself and have enough and all of the envy and all the strife and all the battling within yourself, the sin that exists. In heaven, all of that fades and And you just enjoy God and His goodness. And I was jealous of that rest. And then as I studied this week, I see that I was jealous of that rest because that's what God designed us to do. God designed us to be where John is now. He designed us to enter back into his rest. And so Sabbath is a big deal because it's a reminder of the eternity that Jesus won for us and that the Father designed for us. Sabbath is a big deal because it reminds us of the eternity that Jesus won for us and God the Father designed for us. It's so much bigger than physical rest, don't you see? Yes, it's about physical rest. Yes, it's about taking a break. Yes, we can't be productive for seven days a week. And when we do that, we tend to lose ourselves in that. Yes, we were designed for more than productivity. And it is about taking a load off. And it is about taking a good Sunday nap. It's about all of those things. But it's about so much more. It's a way to bring eternity down into your living room once a week, into your yard and on your hike and in your car and in your songs. Once a week, we bring eternity down here into this world as a temporary reminder that there is an eternal rest waiting on us. Our reality is that we have to get back to work. Monday's coming. We can't rest all the time. We still carry the burden of productivity. Matter of fact, Proverbs tells us, it says, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like an armed man. All right, so chill out on slacking off as a result of the sermon. But even though we know we have to get back to work, God commands us to stop once a week and observe a Sabbath and rest and recover. And yes, be reminded that we are more than productive machines. Yes, be reminded that we are more than what we do and that our life is about more than just what we produce. But also be reminded that there is an eternal rest that is waiting this little pocket where in Sabbath, the burden of production is replaced by the burden of praise. This burden of production that we carry every day of our lives for just a season, for just a day, we take that off and we set that aside and we say, that's not for me today. And we carry the burden of praise. What Jesus says is easy and light. And we carry the burden of praise because when we stop and when we slow down and when we say no to things and we don't go out of the house and we don't go work and we don't do projects, when we just sit, we see who we love. We're reminded of God's goodness in our lives. I love that song that we've started to sing about the evidence. I'm terrible at song titles, but it has that line that all around me there's evidence of your goodness. Sabbaths help us notice that evidence. Sabbaths help us see God's goodness. And so we slow down and we look at our spouse that's weathered some storms with us and we're grateful for them. We look at our kids and we see their joy and we're grateful for them. We reflect back on the years that got us there and we're grateful for them. We look forward to what's ahead and we're grateful for that. We talk with our friends and people who mean something to us and we're grateful for those. We think about our God and how good he is to us and how he's seen us through and been patient in our wanderings and continues to forgive us and we're grateful for that. And in Sabbath, the burden of productivity is replaced by the burden of praise because in gratitude, we turn and reflect and praise God for everything that he's given us. That's what we do when we observe the Sabbath. We realize it's so much bigger than this temporary rest, that it's a picture of the eternal rest that we cling to, that waits for us. And the good news is, if we've placed our faith in Jesus, if we call God our Father and Jesus our Savior and understand that because Jesus died on the cross for us, He has covered over our sins and we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, then we can be sure that that eternal rest waits for us. And I just think it's incredible that God instructs us once a week to stop producing, not just because we actually need rest, but more because he wants to remind us of the eternity that he has designed for us, that is waiting for us. And in slowing down, we can finally see it and notice it. I have been blown away this week by how big of a deal Sabbath really is. And so I want to invite you. Will you join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life? Will you join me this year in properly prioritizing a Sabbath rest every week? Will we replace the burden of productivity with the burden of praise? You know, it's possible that if you don't feel as close to God as you could, if your walk with God feels a little bit disjointed, if you feel like you're a little stagnant, it's possible that we feel that way because we haven't been observing Sabbaths. Because we haven't been stopping and reminding ourselves of these things. It's possible that it feels like we can't get much traction in our walk with God because we have forgotten the simple spiritual discipline of the Sabbath that was so important to God that he wrote it into the top ten rules. He has a year every seven years to remind us of it and then one big year every 50 years to remind us of that seventh year, and he stopped creation on the Sabbath and invites us to enter into that with him. I don't know how we lost track of this day. I don't know how we as Christians just decided this wasn't a big deal anymore. More pointedly, I don't know how I lost track of that. But I don't want to lose track of it again. So I want to invite you to prioritize those Sabbaths this year. And let's just see what happens when once a week we stop our production and we focus on praise and we're reminded of the eternity that waits on us. Let's pray. Father, I always say that you are good when I pray because you are. But you are patient too. We know good and well that we should observe Sabbaths and we just don't do it. Would you convict us in that gentle way that only you can? Father, would you show us a path to prioritize this? And God, for the people who would do this, for those listening who are thinking, yeah, that's a thing that I want to do. I want to observe Sabbaths in my life. God, would you first give them the belief that they can actually do it, that they can actually stop for like 12 hours without the world spinning out of control? And then, God, when they do that, gosh, would your spirit just meet them there? Would they feel you in those moments? Would these become special times for us as we're reminded of the eternity that you have created for us? Father, it is in the name of the Lord of the Sabbath that we pray these things. Amen.

Amen. And good morning, Grace. Thank you for watching online. I can't wait until we can be back together. Until then, I hope that you're getting into a good rhythm of watching church in your sweatpants. I'm jealous of that. This is the third part of our series called Things You Should Know. And the idea with this series is there's certain things in Christendom and in church world that we talk about or reference. And my suspicion is that sometimes we just kind of nod along with those things, not really knowing what they are, not really having a full grasp of them, and maybe too afraid or embarrassed to ask these questions. And so we wanted to take a series where we ask the questions for you and hopefully give you some answers or some things that maybe we haven't thought about before. And so this week we arrive at what I think is the forgotten practice of the Sabbath. If you've been around church world at all before, you've probably heard at least Sabbath mentioned. You probably know that it was a thing that the Jewish people observed in the Old Testament. You might even know that it's a thing that Jewish people continue to observe. But I think in the church world, we've largely forgotten the Sabbath, right? I mean, I know for me, I can't remember the last time I intentionally observed a Sabbath. I'm a pastor. Most of the Christians that I know, I can't remember the last time I heard someone talk to me about the Sabbath discipline and what they do and how they do it and incorporating this in their lives. And so I really think that it's kind of this forgotten aspect of our faith. And what's more than that is, it's pretty important in the Old Testament. And so I was excited this week when we put this one on the schedule. I knew Sabbath was coming up, so I've been kind of thinking about it in the background for the past couple of weeks, and I was excited to get to it and talk about it. And I figured that when we got here, we would talk about this much-needed rest, this need to rest and to recharge and refuel. And I think we can all appreciate that. This idea that we weren't made just to be machines, we weren't made just to be productive, that we should stop and slow down and focus on the gifts that God gives us and what we have to be grateful for and try to ask our question, why are we working so hard anyways? So I figured we'd spend the morning talking about how God has designed us to rest sometimes, how God has designed schedules and rhythms so that we can rest. And so I started the week getting ready to preach the sermon and doing research on the Sabbath and started to kind of pull a thread. And I realized, oh my gosh, I've never pulled this thread before. I've never known this about the Sabbath and what it could mean. And honestly, I started to get pretty excited in my office. I darted over to Kyle's office and basically gave him the mini sermon because I was so excited about what I was learning and excited to share it with you guys. And what I learned is that the Sabbath is so much bigger than just rest. So I want to take you kind of on the journey that I had to discover what the Sabbath is. And hopefully when we get to the end of it, you will join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life. But we see this law, this idea of the Sabbath, come up in Exodus chapter 20. It's part of the Ten Commandments. You may know what those are. These are the ten on the tablets, two stone tablets. Moses comes down the mountain and he presents the rules to the Hebrew people. These are the top 10 rules that God has for us. the seventh day is a Sabbath day to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord to the fore. And it's interesting to me that it's in the Ten Commandments. To me, it's a really curious commandment. Because if you look at the other Ten Commandments, the first one is, you know, don't have any other gods before me. God says nothing should be more important to you in your whole life than I am. Which, that makes sense. And then it's like, well, don't commit adultery. Yeah, that's certainly, that's got to be in the top 10, right? No killing people. That's a big deal. Don't steal things. Don't lie. Honor your parents. Like, all those make sense to be in God's top ten rules, but the Sabbath? I mean, if I had to sit down, if you gave me the Bible and you said, make a list of the top ten things that Christians need to do, the Sabbath is not going to make the cut. I doubt it makes the cut in your list either. And if you're sitting at home saying, no, it does make my list, and you don't regularly observe the Sabbath, you're a hypocrite. Right? It wouldn't make our list, but yet it made God's. And I've always thought that it made God's because of where it came in history. Because if you'll think about the group of people receiving these laws, they're the Israelites, the Hebrew people, the descendants of Abraham. They've been enslaved for 400 years. For 400 years, they were production machines. Seven days a week, several hours a day, morning to night, you work, you produce. With the whip at your back, you produce. When they receive these commandments, they're in the desert. They're fleeing from the Egyptians. And God comes to them and he says, these are the big 10 things I want you to prioritize in your life. And it's easy to see that he's speaking to his children. These children who have sat under the burden of productivity for their entire life, for generation after generation, and God is telling them, you're not machines. You're more than your work. You're more than what you produce. There's good gifts that I've given you in life that I want you to focus on sometimes. It's okay to stop and rest. And while those things are certainly applicable to us in 2021, they were especially applicable then. And so I've always suspected that maybe God included the Sabbath commandment and the Ten Commandments because of where they were at culturally. But then look at what he does. Not only in Jewish law does he want them to observe the Sabbath every seven days, but then every seventh year is a year of the Sabbath. It's a sabbatical year. And in those years, they're supposed to give their fields rest. They're supposed to give the earth rest, which by the way, we understand scientifically now is actually best for those fields because the nutrients can build back up and they can produce year after year after year. That's why farmers rotate their fields and their crops. But they didn't know that back then. They just knew that God told them to let their fields rest every seven years. Every seven years was a year-long reminder of Sabbath. And then on the seventh, seventh year, so every 50 years, they had what was called the year of Jubilee. And in the year of Jubilee, all debts were canceled. All land was restored to rightful owners. Slaves were freed. It was like a huge societal reset button. Every year, every 50 years, the year of Jubilee is a year-long Sabbath, and it hits reset on all of culture and society, and then it starts again. Seems like a bigger deal than just rest. So as I'm thinking through Sabbath and this sermon and what we need to learn about it, I really started to wonder, why is rest such a big deal to God? Why is He so interested that I just take a load off every now and again? Why does God just seem to be such a nap fan on Sundays? Like there's got to be more to it than that. And so as I kind of pulled that thread a little more, I was reminded of the very first Sabbath that we see in Genesis after creation. And we may know the creation story. In the beginning, God was there and he created the heavens and the earth, right? And then each day he created a new thing. On day one, he created something. Day three, day four, day five, all the way through day six when he created man. And then on day seven, he rested. This is what we read about the Sabbath in Genesis chapter two, verses one through three. And listen, I've got a bunch of verses for you this morning. So if you have a Bible, get ready to jump around. But this is Genesis 2, 1 through 3. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished and all the host of them. And on the seventh day, God had finished his work that he had done. And he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it, God rested from all his work that he had done in creation. God himself modeled the Sabbath for us a couple thousand years before he instituted it as a law. And somebody else pointed out, I didn't notice this, but other people pointed it out and I thought it's fascinating. If you read through the creation story, if you have your Bible there, then you can look through Genesis chapter 1 and look at each day. Each day has an evening and a morning, or a morning and an evening. It'll say it was day two, God created these things, and it was morning and evening, the third day. It was day four, God created these things, then it was evening, then it was morning, the fifth day. But we get to day seven, and it's the only day without an evening and a morning. We get to day seven, which in Hebrew tradition is the number of completion. It's the number of perfection. It means we're done messing with this. That's over. It's finished. And so God did his work and then he rested. And what's interesting is there's no evening and there's morning. There's no eighth day. It doesn't say on the eighth day, God created more stuff. On the eighth day, God started working on the rest of the universe. No, he entered into rest. He was done. He had made it. His work was finished. And now God entered into rest on the day of perfection to an unending seventh day. And the interesting part is we were created to join him in that rest. Adam and Eve were created to participate in that rest with God. We're told that God walked with them in the cool of the evening. We're told we see evidence that they didn't have to work for their food. It just grew on trees and they grabbed it. They were born into eternal and perfect retirement. They did not carry the burden of productivity. They only carried the burden of praise, which is a really easy burden to carry when you're walking around with God in the cool of the evening every day. It's important that we understand that Adam and Eve, and therefore us, were created to join God in this perfect eternal rest. But sin disrupted that rest. Sin ruined that rest. And it's so fascinating to me that the curse for sin, the punishment for sin, if you look over in Genesis chapter 3, when God approaches Adam and Eve after they eat of the tree that they shouldn't have eaten of and they sinned, that God punishes them and he curses them. And what's the curse? Work. Productivity. Now you're going to have to work the field. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to fight against thorns. You didn't have to do that before. Now you have to produce your own food. You didn't have to do that before. The curse in the garden is the curse of the burden of productivity. Do you understand that? Now you have to work. Now because of your sin, you can't rest. I created you for rest, but now because you broke that rest, you have to work and you can't exist in my rest. This to me was a profound thought that God created us to enter into his perfect and eternal rest that he began after creation. Just participate in that with him relationally. He did not design us to carry the burden of productivity. That's the curse of sin. And then it occurred to me that Jesus came to restore our perfect rest. Jesus himself came as a way to restore us back into the Father's rest so that we could have a way to enter back into his rest. And what I began to understand is that when we see rest in the Bible, we're not talking about just taking a load off for a day. We're really talking about eternity. We're talking about entering into heaven with God, re-entering into the rest for which we were designed. And it's interesting to me that I never caught it before, what Jesus says in Matthew. In Matthew chapter 11, he says this, I used to always think that that verse was for people who were living under the oppression of legalism, and it is. But we see here that he's talking about more than just rest. He's talking about more than just a day to recover. He says, I will give you rest for your souls. Your souls can rest in me. I believe Jesus is talking about a larger rest here. And then when we fast forward up to Hebrews chapter 4, we see the author in Hebrews talking in you can read it. It's all through chapters 3 and 4 of Hebrews, speaks of eternity in the terms of entering into the Lord's rest. He speaks of heaven, of being with God forever and ever. He speaks of that in terms of entering back into that rest that God designed us for, that Jesus won for us. And then at the end of the Bible in here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. And I heard a voice from heaven saying, write this, Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. Blessed indeed, says the Spirit, that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them. I had never noticed it before or put together everything. I knew of each of these passages and each of these teachings in disparate parts, but never before had I seen this theme of rest woven through the scriptures. This idea from the very onset that God designed us to enter into his perfect eternal rest where our souls can be easy and all we carry is the burden of praise. And I had never thought about how Jesus came to restore us to that rest and piece together this passage in Hebrews and then even as the capstone in Scripture in Revelation 14, John describes hell as a place where there is no rest. Hell itself, eternal separation from our God, is to spend eternity restlessly. But salvation, heaven, is to spend eternity in the Lord's rest. I had never thought of these things in these terms before. Or thought how profoundly big rest was in Scripture. And it's funny because in December, many of you know if you've been following along with Grace, you know that recently my wife Jen lost her father John. And so in December, we had the profound privilege of being with him as he transitioned into his rest. And I can remember being in the room with him, just me and John, watching him, praying over him, thinking about life and all the things that come as you watch someone transition. And I wasn't thinking about this sermon, believe me. I wasn't thinking about grace at all. It was one of those fogs that all you can possibly think about is the day. So I didn't even know that this was coming. And I certainly hadn't pieced together these things in Scripture, but I can remember watching him and being viscerally jealous of the rest that he was about to enter into. Being jealous of the peace that was about to be his. Being envious of this place where he was about to go, where all the things that seemed to worry us so much just fade away. All the tensions and the squabbles and the misunderstandings, all of our insecurities and all of trying to prove ourself and have enough and all of the envy and all the strife and all the battling within yourself, the sin that exists. In heaven, all of that fades and And you just enjoy God and His goodness. And I was jealous of that rest. And then as I studied this week, I see that I was jealous of that rest because that's what God designed us to do. God designed us to be where John is now. He designed us to enter back into his rest. And so Sabbath is a big deal because it's a reminder of the eternity that Jesus won for us and that the Father designed for us. Sabbath is a big deal because it reminds us of the eternity that Jesus won for us and God the Father designed for us. It's so much bigger than physical rest, don't you see? Yes, it's about physical rest. Yes, it's about taking a break. Yes, we can't be productive for seven days a week. And when we do that, we tend to lose ourselves in that. Yes, we were designed for more than productivity. And it is about taking a load off. And it is about taking a good Sunday nap. It's about all of those things. But it's about so much more. It's a way to bring eternity down into your living room once a week, into your yard and on your hike and in your car and in your songs. Once a week, we bring eternity down here into this world as a temporary reminder that there is an eternal rest waiting on us. Our reality is that we have to get back to work. Monday's coming. We can't rest all the time. We still carry the burden of productivity. Matter of fact, Proverbs tells us, it says, a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like an armed man. All right, so chill out on slacking off as a result of the sermon. But even though we know we have to get back to work, God commands us to stop once a week and observe a Sabbath and rest and recover. And yes, be reminded that we are more than productive machines. Yes, be reminded that we are more than what we do and that our life is about more than just what we produce. But also be reminded that there is an eternal rest that is waiting this little pocket where in Sabbath, the burden of production is replaced by the burden of praise. This burden of production that we carry every day of our lives for just a season, for just a day, we take that off and we set that aside and we say, that's not for me today. And we carry the burden of praise. What Jesus says is easy and light. And we carry the burden of praise because when we stop and when we slow down and when we say no to things and we don't go out of the house and we don't go work and we don't do projects, when we just sit, we see who we love. We're reminded of God's goodness in our lives. I love that song that we've started to sing about the evidence. I'm terrible at song titles, but it has that line that all around me there's evidence of your goodness. Sabbaths help us notice that evidence. Sabbaths help us see God's goodness. And so we slow down and we look at our spouse that's weathered some storms with us and we're grateful for them. We look at our kids and we see their joy and we're grateful for them. We reflect back on the years that got us there and we're grateful for them. We look forward to what's ahead and we're grateful for that. We talk with our friends and people who mean something to us and we're grateful for those. We think about our God and how good he is to us and how he's seen us through and been patient in our wanderings and continues to forgive us and we're grateful for that. And in Sabbath, the burden of productivity is replaced by the burden of praise because in gratitude, we turn and reflect and praise God for everything that he's given us. That's what we do when we observe the Sabbath. We realize it's so much bigger than this temporary rest, that it's a picture of the eternal rest that we cling to, that waits for us. And the good news is, if we've placed our faith in Jesus, if we call God our Father and Jesus our Savior and understand that because Jesus died on the cross for us, He has covered over our sins and we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ, then we can be sure that that eternal rest waits for us. And I just think it's incredible that God instructs us once a week to stop producing, not just because we actually need rest, but more because he wants to remind us of the eternity that he has designed for us, that is waiting for us. And in slowing down, we can finally see it and notice it. I have been blown away this week by how big of a deal Sabbath really is. And so I want to invite you. Will you join me in properly prioritizing the Sabbath in your life? Will you join me this year in properly prioritizing a Sabbath rest every week? Will we replace the burden of productivity with the burden of praise? You know, it's possible that if you don't feel as close to God as you could, if your walk with God feels a little bit disjointed, if you feel like you're a little stagnant, it's possible that we feel that way because we haven't been observing Sabbaths. Because we haven't been stopping and reminding ourselves of these things. It's possible that it feels like we can't get much traction in our walk with God because we have forgotten the simple spiritual discipline of the Sabbath that was so important to God that he wrote it into the top ten rules. He has a year every seven years to remind us of it and then one big year every 50 years to remind us of that seventh year, and he stopped creation on the Sabbath and invites us to enter into that with him. I don't know how we lost track of this day. I don't know how we as Christians just decided this wasn't a big deal anymore. More pointedly, I don't know how I lost track of that. But I don't want to lose track of it again. So I want to invite you to prioritize those Sabbaths this year. And let's just see what happens when once a week we stop our production and we focus on praise and we're reminded of the eternity that waits on us. Let's pray. Father, I always say that you are good when I pray because you are. But you are patient too. We know good and well that we should observe Sabbaths and we just don't do it. Would you convict us in that gentle way that only you can? Father, would you show us a path to prioritize this? And God, for the people who would do this, for those listening who are thinking, yeah, that's a thing that I want to do. I want to observe Sabbaths in my life. God, would you first give them the belief that they can actually do it, that they can actually stop for like 12 hours without the world spinning out of control? And then, God, when they do that, gosh, would your spirit just meet them there? Would they feel you in those moments? Would these become special times for us as we're reminded of the eternity that you have created for us? Father, it is in the name of the Lord of the Sabbath that we pray these things. Amen.

My name is Nate. I am one of the pastors here. Thanks for being here on this very hot July Sunday. Hopefully it'll cool down and we can get back outside soon. This is the second part of our series called Obscure Heroes. To know the Bible, to be around church culture at all, is to know some of the main characters of the Bible, some of the people that are a little bit more prominent in the Bible. Even if you've not spent any time in church at all, we've heard of David and of Moses and of Paul, but there are some other people in the Bible that give us great examples of behavior or character that we should emulate that are worth exploring. And so we're investing our summer series in looking at some of these heroes that are a little bit lesser known in the Bible. Now, full disclosure, when I told Jen, my wife, what I was going to be preaching about this week and who I was going to be preaching about, a guy named Naaman in 2 Kings 5. So if you have a Bible, you can turn there. If you don't, there's one in front of you. But we're going to be in 2 Kings 5 today looking at the story of Naaman. And so she pointed out, and I should tell you, that he is not really a hero. Okay? Like he's not, what he does isn't really great. So I told her what I was going to be preaching about and she goes, well, he's not really like that heroic. And I said, well, nobody cares. It's just like, it's just obscure heroes, but this is an obscure story. What's it matter? She was like, it matters. So if it matters to you, I apologize. I beg your forgiveness. All right. But I'm just not going to, I'm not going to check that box today. So this is more like an obscure story. Nonetheless, I think we can learn a lot from the example of Naaman. So if you look in second Kings chapter five, there is a general by the name of Naaman. He's the head general in the Syrian army, which was a really powerful army at this point in history. They're far more powerful than Israel. Israel is like a third world country at this point in history. They're really not impactful on the geopolitical scale. The Syrian army is, and Naaman is the general of this army. And so you have to figure, if you just think about in the ancient world ways to get famous, that pretty much the king in general is it. They didn't have Instagram. They didn't have any influencers back then. So like Naaman, that was all you got. So he had risen to prominence. He was at least regionally famous. If not, at the time, world famous. He was a heavy hitter. He was an important dude. And Naaman comes down with leprosy. We see leprosy through the Bible. It's in the Old Testament and it's in the New Testament. Leprosy was a disease that you got in your skin. I think you can still get it now. It's just we've fixed it. But you can still get it in your skin, and it begins to eat away at your skin, slowly but surely, killing you from the outside in. And to get leprosy was to receive a death sentence. If you contracted leprosy, somehow it was eventually going to eat away at you enough that it was going to kill you. Leprosy was certain death. And it didn't happen a lot in the upper echelons of the socioeconomic scale, but somehow or another, Naaman, maybe from his time spent out on the battlefield in foreign countries and things like that, Naaman contracted leprosy. And of course he feels like he's going to die. But on their last conquest through Israel, they brought back a little Jewish girl to serve Naaman's wife. And she hears that Naaman has leprosy, and she says in 2 Kings 5, she says, Oh, that my Lord would go, my Lord Naaman would go to Israel. There's a prophet there who can heal him. Now, she's talking about a man named Elisha. In the books of 1 and 2 Kings, there's two incredible prophets. I've said there's some of the most underrated figures in the Bible, Elijah and Elisha. One day I want to do a series through their lives, maybe next summer. It's just phenomenal stories. They were tremendous men of faith that God entrusted with tremendous power for the miracles that they would do. And apparently he had cured people before, even of leprosy. And so this little girl that they took back from Israel says, oh, that my Lord would go back to Israel and find Elisha, he could heal her. He could heal him. And so Naaman's wife goes to Naaman and says, hey, there's a prophet back in Israel that can heal you. Like, you should go back there. And so he decides to go. And I wonder, and I try to do this as I read stories in the Bible, and I would encourage you guys to do it too. Sometimes if we read stories in the Bible, if you were to open up your Bible and read 1 and 2 Kings, the stories move so fast. The narrative moves so quickly. There's so little nuance. It's just this happened, this happened, this happened, and then this is the end of the story. So I like to try to slow down and read the humanity into things and figure out what would I be thinking, what would I be feeling if I were in that situation. And I think that when we do this, when you'll read it on your own and you'll put your humanity into what's happening there, I think what you'll get is that the story starts to come alive for you a little bit. And so Naaman hears the testimony of this Hebrew girl and decides that he's going to travel hundreds of miles away to a third world country that's going to take him several weeks to do to go see a faith healer in the backwoods of Israel. Now what would it take for you to do that? If you got a diagnosis that nobody wants, it was a death sentence, you're definitely going to pass away. This is going to claim your life. But if you travel to the Dominican, to the back of a mountain there, there's a faith healer and he's going to make you feel better. How desperate would you have to be to go? Naaman went. He's not a believer. He doesn't believe in the Hebrew God. It's just a weird faith healer in the backwoods of a third world country, and he goes. And before he goes, what does he do? Naaman is so very American. He packs up all of his stuff, and he puts together a small fortune, some changes of clothes, which apparently are a big deal. Like if you wanted to be wealthy, have two jackets. So he puts together some change of clothes to offer to the person that's going to heal him and to the people around that person. He gathers together some livestock and some gold, and he takes a small fortune with him. Because when you get sick, what do we do? If you're diagnosed with something tough, what do you do? You marshal all your resources, you pull everything together, and you go to the best place that's going to treat you, and then you compensate them for their treatment. That's what Naaman's going to do. So he loads everything up, heads to Israel. He gets to Israel, and he tells his king he's going to go. He asks permission from the king of Syria, hey, there's a prophet in Israel, can I go see him? King of Syria says, yeah, sure, go ahead. Gives gives him a letter to carry with him to present. So he goes to Israel. He goes and he sees the king. And listen, what kind of a dude do you have to be to get the audience of a king when you just wander into a country? You have to be a big deal. So the king hears Naaman's here. Oh no, what does the general of the Syrian army want? And Naaman presents him with a letter. And the letter's from the king of Syria, and it says, be pleased to heal my servant Naaman of leprosy. And the Bible says that the king went and tore his clothes, because at this time in history, that's how you express anguish and sadness and despair and anxiety. And I've always wondered if these people had like spare, like tearing clothes that they got from Walmart. Like when I got sad, I would be like, time out. And then I would put on those things and probably pre-snip them and then tear them and then put on my nice kingly garb and be like, okay, that's terrible for those clothes. I don't know what he did. Maybe he just, he could tear outfits all he wanted. But he goes and he tears his clothes and he expresses this great sadness. Why has the king of Syria put this on me that he expects me to provoke him for war? Because it's an impossible task. I can't heal somebody from leprosy, much less the general of the most powerful army in the region right now. There's nothing I can do about this. This is a death sentence for him too. It's an excuse when Naaman goes there and he eventually dies because the king doesn't cure him. Then the Syrians can get ticked off at Israel and go sweeping through there again. And so the king, he's anxious. He is worried. He is in anguish. And word gets to Elisha, the chief prophet, that the king has gotten this letter. So he sends word to the king and he says, I've heard that you've torn your clothes. I hope it was the cheap ones that you got from Walmart. If you would just send Naaman to me, I'll take care of it. Send Naaman to me, I'll heal him. So the king says, okay, here's Naaman's address. You go and, or here's Elisha's address. You go and you see him. And I love how Naaman arrives. He goes to Elisha's house and it says, he arrived on his horses and chariots. So he brings his whole entourage with him. He arrives on his chariots. Nobody in Israel can afford a chariot. Israel has zero chariots. And so this is a huge deal. This is like when they line the streets for some political figure and on the line of Tahos come through and you're like, I don't know where, but somewhere in there, there's somebody that's important. So Naaman creates his own processional and arrives at the gate of Elisha's house, almost with this sense of, I'm here, congratulations. And he tells them, I'm here. And what does Elisha do? I love what Elisha does. What would you do? What would you do if one of the most famous people in the country showed up at your house, showed up at your office, and whoever works the front desk came to you, and they're like, excuse me, Nate, Peyton Manning's here to see you. What would you do? I don't know. I thought all week about who do I say that everybody recognizes as famous? I don't know what to say. Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, whoever you want, Justin Timberlake, take your pick. Somebody shows up, they're super famous and they want to talk to you. What would you do? I would be like, Aaron, Steve, Kyle, which is, that's the staff here. Sorry, I'm out. I got to go talk to them. Like, I got to, I got to go see them. I would, hello, I'm the senior pastor. It's good to meet you. I'm glad that you're here to see me. Right? Of course, we would soak that up, wouldn't we? What's Elisha do? He grabs an intern. Hey, name is at the gate. Would you go tell him that if he'll dip in the Jordan River seven times that he'll be healed and he'll be good to go? Like, what's Elisha working on? Like a proposal? Like, I'm busy. But he just says, hey, go tell Naaman if he'll dip in the river seven times he'll be healed. And so the intern goes down and tells this to Naaman. And this is how Naaman receives it. If you have a Bible, you can look in 2 Kings 5. I love what he does. Verse 10 says, and Elisha sent a messenger to him saying, go and wash in the Jordan seven times and your flesh will be restored and you shall be clean. He doesn't even let him in. He's like, there's no reason for you to come in here and all that stuff. Just go to the Jordan River. You'll turned and went away in a rage. Naaman's ticked. He's ticked. I remember when I first got out of college, or when I was finishing up college, I sold cars. People don't know this about me, but I sold cars for like six months. And I was on the phone with a guy one day. He was a good old southern boy. And we were kind of going back and forth on the price of a truck. You know, he's got to ask for a price, and I've got to hang on. Let me go check with my manager, and I come back with the price. And it's a whole deal. It's real silly. And so we're going back and forth. And finally he goes, listen, son, am I talking to the man or am I talking to the boy? Because I need to be talking to the man. And I had to admit, I was not the man at Hayes Chrysler. Sir, you are talking to the boy. It was a very low moment in my life. If you know me well, you know that I need more of those and you do not feel sorry for me. And I had to admit, I'm not the decision maker here. That's what Naaman thought. Am I talking to the man or am I talking to the boy? He wanted to talk to the man. He wanted to be made over. He wanted to be fussed over. He wanted Elisha to come out and, oh, it's so great to have you. I'm honored to heal you. And then he wanted the chance after the healing to be able to offer his small fortune, right? He wanted to be able to offer a one-for-one exchange. None of us likes to get help without being able to reciprocate that help, without being able to feel like we in some way earned this or deserve this. He wanted to be able to compensate Elisha, and now he's robbed of that chance. He's not treated like he expects to be treated. Elisha is supposed to make this big scene and wave his hand over him, and I call on the name of the Lord and yada, yada. And he's like, no, just, you're good. Just see the water over there? Just go get in it. And he's going, I traveled hundreds of miles and brought all this stuff for this? You kidding me? I have rivers back home, and they're better than this backwoods river. And so he storms off. He takes his ball and goes home, and he sulks like a little kid. And a little while later, his servants go to him, and it's a loose paraphrase, but essentially they say, Naaman, what do you have to lose, man? You're out here. Just go do it. Just go do what he says. And I can imagine them saying, like, what's the worst that can happen? You get some Jordan River on you. You go home and you rinse off in the Farper. It'll be all right. Just do it. And so he goes after he's calmed down. He dips in the Jordan River, and he's healed of his leprosy. When he sees that he's healed of his leprosy, he's overjoyed. He rushes back to Elisha, and he tries to give him all the stuff. He tries to compensate him. Thank you. Here's this fortune that I brought. And Elisha's like, I don't need it. I didn't do that for your stuff, man. I just did that for you. God told me to heal you. I healed you. I don't need it. And he keeps trying to give it away to whoever will take it. And then a guy named Gehazi, one of Elisha's servants comes to him and he's like, actually, you know, on second thought, Elisha really does need the stuff. And Naaman gives him the stuff. And then Gehazi gets in trouble for taking the stuff. And that's a whole separate story if you keep reading on. But Naaman responds to this healing with a joyful and generous love. Here, here, take all my stuff. This was given to me. I want to be able to give this to you. And he leaves that space professing that there is one true God, and it is the God of Israel. We get a convert out of this interaction. Now, this is a good story, and it's a good one to unpack in the Old Testament. But how does it apply to us? I think we can begin to understand how it applies to us when we realize that leprosy in the Bible is always a picture of sin. We see leprosy in the Old Testament and the New Testament. When we see it in the New Testament, generally Jesus is interacting with them. If you contracted leprosy, you were sent to a colony. You were quarantined. You were no longer allowed to interact with general society. You were unclean. You were sent to a colony, and you were sent there to die. Can you imagine how depressing leper colonies would be? And Jesus walked into these places and he touched and he touched and he touched and he healed and he healed and he healed in the same way that Jesus walks through a sinful world and he heals and he heals and he restores. The picture of leprosy in the Bible is always a picture of sin. Leprosy was a disease that once you got it, it may have started small. In the story of Naaman, it says that he expected Elisha to come out and wave his hand over the place. So maybe leprosy was just starting to appear. Maybe it was on his arm and he could wrap it up. Maybe it was on his ribs and he could cover it up. Maybe it was in a place where if you looked at him, you didn't know that he had it, but he knew that he had it. And isn't that how sin works? When we have things in our lives that don't need to be there, sometimes we can cover it up. We can wrap it up. We can keep it from other people. And sin, just so we're clear, sometimes that word is misunderstood and it's used to make people feel guilty. But really, sin is anything that happens when we elevate our judgment in our life to equivocate God's judgment in our life. And when we say, no, God, I don't think that I want to do the thing that you want me to do. I'm going to do the thing that makes the most sense to me. That's sin. Whatever that is, whatever that looks like, whatever form that takes on. And when we get that, when we sin, just like leprosy, it is a disease that eats away at us and leads to certain death. Isn't this what Jesus, isn't this what God said in Genesis? He told Adam and Eve that if you eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, that you will surely die. And they ate of it and they didn't drop dead. So either God's a liar or he's not talking about physical death. He's talking about a spiritual death. And what he's saying is, if you elevate your judgment to mine and you throw off my lordship in your life and you become your own little God, then you have eternally separated yourself from me. That's a spiritual death. So sin, just like leprosy, leads to a certain death. Leprosy leads to a physical death. Sin leads to a spiritual death. But there's a parallel there. And in this story, Naaman is healed, but we should think about it as salvation. Naaman seeks salvation. And to be healed for his salvation, he had to accept the word of God and be obedient and humble himself and go dip in a river that didn't make any sense. For us to receive salvation, spiritual healing from God, we place our faith in what Jesus did on the cross for us. And in some ways, sometimes it doesn't make much sense. But we accept that free gift from Jesus. As we move through the Christian life and we understand salvation is, yes, an event when we place our faith in Christ, but it's also this ongoing process that the Bible calls sanctification, which just means becoming more like God in character. And that to be sanctified, to become more like God in character, it's every day this decision to trust on God rather than ourselves. It's every day to trust in God's way rather than our way. It's every day to trust in his lordship rather than our lordship. It's the same decision that Naaman had to make every day as we seek this salvation, as we fight off sin. And so what we see in the story of Naaman and what makes it relevant to us is that the physical healing of leprosy is a picture of our spiritual healing from sin. The physical healing of leprosy is a picture of our spiritual healing from sin. It works the same way. Naaman needed salvation for a disease that would lead to certain death. We need salvation from a disease that will lead to certain spiritual death or eternal separation from God. And what's interesting to me about this and where the rubber really meets the road in this story is, if I were to take you back to Damascus, back to Syria, when Naaman contracted leprosy, and he were to ask you, I need to be healed, what do you think my biggest obstacles are between health and unhealth? What do you think are the biggest things I need to overcome to be healed and to live? We would probably look at external factors, wouldn't we? We would look at the distance between he and Elisha. We would look at the cost. We would look at the probability of it actually working. We would look at all these other external factors. But what we see when we look at the story of Naaman is that Naaman's biggest obstacles for healing were his ego and his expectations. They were internal factors. His biggest obstacles to being healed, to salvation, were his ego and his expectations. He wanted to compensate. He wanted it to be a one-for-one exchange. He wanted to be able to look at Elisha and say, you are going to give me this, and I'm going to give you this. I earned this. I deserve this. It makes sense for you to heal me. We're going to both benefit from this exchange. His ego said that he needed to be able to contribute to it. And isn't that how we work too? I've been in church long enough to hear a line several times talking to people who are considering coming to faith. And they'll say something like, I do think that I want to become a Christian. I do think I want to get back into the church thing, but I just got some stuff I need to clean up first. Or I'll talk to somebody who wants to be baptized. We're going to do a baptism service in September, by the way, so start thinking about whether or not you might want to be a part of that. I've talked with so many people who are thinking about being baptized, but they'll say, yeah, I want to do that, but I've got some things that I need to get in order before I do that. When we say that, what are we doing? Our egos are saying, yeah, I'm going to take that step, but when I do, I'm going to deserve it. When I come to Jesus, it's going to be on my terms. When I come to Jesus, it's going to be because I'm worthy of it. It's going to be because I've gotten through white-knuckle discipline myself in line enough that I feel like I can approach him with a pure heart. When I get baptized, I'm going to earn the right to be baptized. I'm going to bring something to that exchange. It's going to feel like I deserve this gift from God of salvation. When we know that we bring nothing to that exchange. We don't pay God for it. We don't compensate him for his son. We just get our ego out of the way and we accept it. See, to get healed of leprosy, you have to first admit that you have it and that you desperately need to be healed. To get rid of the sin that's in our life, to be aligned with our Creator, to experience salvation, we have to first come to a place where we admit, I'm broken and I need healing. And that's a really hard thing for some of us. We have to come to a place where we admit, my lordship in my life is not working. I need your lordship. It's a hard place for some of us to get to. And what we see from the story of Naaman as we think about it in ourselves is that humility is a prerequisite for salvation. I would be willing to bet, and I don't know everybody enough to say this to you, and I'm sorry if this is too far, but I would be willing to bet that there are those of us who have kept kind of Christianity at arm's length for a while. We've considered it, it's there, and maybe we even think one day I will. Or maybe we think, I know that I should take it more seriously, but one day I will. I wonder if that obstacle between you and just a full bore faith is an ego. Is an, I want to do this on my terms. I'm not ready to accept that lordship all the way. I still think that I'm a pretty good authority in my life. And as long as that exists, as long as we think our rivers back home are good enough, we can't take the steps that God wants us to take. Humility, coming to him humbly, is a prerequisite for salvation. The other thing that got in Naaman's way were his expectations. He said, you're not going to come out and talk to me? You want me to go dip in the river? That's it? You're not going to wave your hand? There's not going to be this big thing and this huge ceremony. I expect that I'd at least get a good prayer out of this. None of that's going to happen. And so often we bring our own expectations to God, and then when he doesn't meet the expectations that we've created in our own heads, we push him off because he's not the God who he said he is, when he never said he would do any of that stuff. Naaman wasn't given those expectations by other prophets who said, listen, when you get to Israel, this is how healings work. That's just what he conjured up. And so when it didn't go according to his plan that he created in his own head, he rejected the plan that God presented him with because it didn't meet his expectations. But if you examine them, he had no right to those expectations. And so often I think we push God away because he doesn't meet the expectations that we created. And here's how this works. We have a tendency, if you think about it, and you think about who God is, we have a tendency to remake God in our own image. For most of us, God is simply the best possible version of us. I think about the things that I value in me, and we assume that God must be those things. And we never do it intentionally. No one would admit to this. No one would be like, oh yeah, totally, I do that. But if you think about who you think God is and how you think he should respond to different situations, what you picture God as is the best possible version of you. It's this version of you that you'll probably never attain, but God is probably that. So then when stuff happens in our life, we think, how would the best possible version of me respond to this? Well, it would respond this way, and that's not how God is responding, so he's not fair. When the God in heaven said, hey, I never gave you those expectations. I never promised you that. When we enter into a season of pain and suffering, when something happens in our life that we feel like isn't fair. And we say a loving God would never let this happen. He let it happen to person after person after person in the Bible. He let it happen to his own son. He let David's infant son die. We can go through story after story after story in the Bible where people who loved God and served him well had to deal with incredible pain. So where are we getting the expectation that when I go to God, everything is going to be good? We made that up. When I go to God, everything is going to go well for me. I'm going to close the sale. I'm going to do the business. My kids are going to finally behave because I'm raising them according to the right standards. Who gave you that expectation? Where are we getting that? Now, the expectation that God gives us is that all things work out in eternity. And that one day when we meet him, everything will make sense. I am confident there are things that are happening even now that I do not understand and I can't pretend to explain. But here's what I trust. One day I'll get to look God in the eye and if I even still care about all the stuff that happened here, if I were to ask him, God, why'd you let this stuff happen? If he would explain it to me in my heavenly form, I would go, okay, that makes sense. Can I get back to worshiping you now? I think so often our expectations that we generate, that God never signed up for, keep us from going to him and knowing him fully. Even expectations on the other end of the pendulum. Sometimes our expectations are, I've done so little. I've known better and not responded to it properly for so long that there's no way that God could accept me. And we let those expectations of God's response keep us away from him when that's not at all what he says. It says in Luke 15 that he's the father that runs to us and waits for us to come back to him. So in the story of Naaman, we see a person like us who was in need of salvation. We see a person like us and like me who very often keeps his ego and his expectations as an obstacle between him and the God that he desperately needs. And my prayer for you, even this morning, even as I was kneeling and praying before I would come preach, is that God would give you the courage and the honesty to see where your ego and your expectations in your life, and in my life, this is a me too thing, are keeping us from knowing God the way he wants to be known. Help us to identify those. Give us the courage to move past those. And if we do that, what will be the result? Look at what Naaman did. I believe. I'm in. Take all my stuff. I don't need it anyways. Naaman's response after humility and receiving the salvation was a joyful and generous love. The result of humble acceptance is a joyful and generous love. It's a love so big and so generous that I have grace for you as I watch you struggle through life. I have grace for you as I see clearly that your ego is keeping you from knowing everything about God that you could know. You have grace for me as you see my wrong expectations keeping me from knowing God well because you know that you've been met there with grace too. We have this contagious joy when we accept love in that way. Scripture tells us, Jesus tells us in Matthew that we are to honor God, that we are to love people in such a way that others will see our good works and so glorify our Father who is in heaven. That without us ever telling them about our faith, they will see our faith lived out and go, there's something different about them and I want it. Paul says in 2 Corinthians that we are led in a procession by Christ and that through us, one of my favorite phrases in the Bible, spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of God. This thing that just wafts into the lives of others passively as we move through their life and they look at us and they see something that's different. You know what's supposed to be different? A joyful and generous love. You know how we come by that love? By humbling ourselves before God and freely receiving his salvation and his love and his affirmation every day. And then we move through life like Naaman did after he got healed. So my prayer for you is that if there are places in your life where either your ego or your expectations are keeping you from knowing God, from submitting to him, that you would have the courage to see those things. And then ultimately, my prayer for us is that we would move through life like Naaman did at the end of this story with a joyful and generous love of God and love for others. Let's pray. Father, we love you. We are so grateful for you. We thank you for your word, for the Bible, for how rich it is, for everything that we can learn from it and see in it. God, I pray that you would help us to go and to read it on our own and to see the pages come to life and to, God, really study and invest in it. God, speak to us through your word even this week as we read it in the quiet of our own houses and offices. Father, I just pray that you would give us the courage, the clarity, the conviction to see where our ego, our expectations may be keeping us from you. If we see those, God, give us further courage to get them out of the way. And finally, Lord, let us love people with a generosity and a joy that can come only from you. It's in your son's name we ask these things. Amen.