Sermons tagged with Identity

Good morning. How are you guys doing today? Good. If you're new, if you're visiting, my name is Aaron. I'm the worship pastor out here. And I don't know why, just to let you in on a little secret and give you a chance to laugh at me, whatever. I don't know why, whenever Nate's up here consistently and I come up here, one of my first instincts is to say, I'm not Nate. Like, you guys didn't know that. Like, for some reason, you thought, man, what happened to Nate over there? He just got a lot better looking suddenly. And I mean, maybe, maybe, but hey, really glad to be here. Nate, thanks so much, man, for the opportunity to come up and share what's been on my heart. To kind of launch us in, get our minds going in the direction that we're headed today. Have you noticed how the mistakes that we make speak so much louder to us than the right things that we do? To kind of give you an idea, so several years ago, my wife and I, we went to Miami, and I had been on this venture and this journey for a long time, trying to learn Spanish, trying to just get better at it. And I was doing the Rosetta Stone thing, all of that. I was doing really good. I could say, like, going to Mexico in October with the mission trip, I would have been perfectly fine asking where the bathroom was. I'm just good. I wouldn't know where they were telling me to go, but I could ask where it was, right? So I was halfway there. But I remember we went to Miami. And if you've never been, it's a culture that's largely influenced by the Latin culture, the Cuban culture down there. And so just the places that we went, I got to speak a lot of the Spanish that I knew, like restaurants and stuff, right? That was good. But when we got back, I was just, I was kind of feeling, like I was having a lot of confidence and I wanted to impress my wife, who is the love of my life. And so we were out one day and I was hungry and she was hungry. I was like, you know what? I know how to say I want to go to Five Guys. That was before the burgers cost 45 bucks. And so I was like, so I want to look at her with all the confidence that I could muster. I looked at her dead in the eyes and I said, quiero cinco hombres, right? Sounds good, right? But if you speak Spanish, you know what I said to my wife was not I want to go to Five Guys. What I said to my wife was, I want five men. And it was not what I meant to say to her because I did not want five men. I wanted to go get an overpriced bacon cheeseburger, right? And you know what I did after that? I did not say Spanish words that I did not understand until, what's funny is this true story. I tried it again last week. But let me encourage you. If you're trying to learn Spanish, don't use the words that you hear on video games because you could end up saying not good words in front of your grandma-in-law who does know very good Spanish. And she looks at you like, did you mean to say that? And I don't know. I just heard like she was getting shot at. And then I repeated what she said and it was whatever. But what's really funny about this, right? Like that, it struck me this week how vivid that memory was. And it's funny. We laugh about it. We can do whatever. Like it wasn't that big of a deal, but it really struck me how big of a mistake or how the mistake stuck with me all of these years. Isn't that true for all of us? We have these goals. We have these things and these places that we try to get to in life. And isn't it true that the failure en route to that goal, it seems to keep coming back over and over and over. It seems to play on repeat. And this isn't just a Christian thing, it's a human thing. But if you're a Christian, it's not just the goals that you have, is it? It's also who Christ has asked you to become. And so on the other side of those shortcomings, on the other side of those mistakes, man, it seems like that's an easy thing to point to. It's when the voice of shame starts to speak pretty loudly on repeat. I know what you did. You think they're going to accept you at church if they find that out? In this series, we're talking about emotions. Emotions that can overwhelm and emotions that can kind of take control and move you into being something you've never really wanted to be. And what I would argue is that a lot of the emotions that we're talking about, they're not to be demonized. Like the emotions that we experience aren't bad things. Like anger, for example. Anger left unchecked will completely wreck havoc in your life. But without anger, you would also not have passion. You would not be moved to act. Yesterday, we went to a lot of people at Grace Serves. We went to Rise Against Hunger. Without anger causing someone to be passionate about world hunger, they would not have that ministry. Fear, fear, unchecked, it will immobilize you. But it's also caused people to create a lot of safety in our world that we never would have seen otherwise. So a lot of these emotions are not bad, but shame, shame has no place in our world. I truly believe that shame is one of the most often used and effective tools of our spiritual enemy, consistently pointing at where we fell short. And the reason why shame is so powerful in our life is because shame not only points to your mistakes, but it identifies you by them. Like you are the sum total of the things that you have done wrong, and it plays on repeat. And so what's heartbreaking about this is our lives are often wrapped around, our identity is often wrapped around that one season in life, that one mistake, that one thing that you did or that one thing that was done to you. And we try as hard as we can, except we just can't forget it. That's what I want to talk about today. Because here's what we have learned. You can't quiet that voice. So how do you keep it from being so overwhelming? And if we're going to look at the life of anyone who has messed up time and time and time again, who else could it be except for Peter? Some of you thought I was going to say me, and that's not nice. Stop it. Right? But we're going to look at Peter. And to catch you up with where we are in the story, we're going to be in Matthew. But to catch you up with where we are, we're actually just within a few hours of what Nate talked about last week with Jesus in the garden. It started in the upper room with the Last Supper where Jesus is Jesus is predicting actually Peter's denial. Jesus says to Peter, hey, Pete, you know, listen, in a few hours, like you, actually, he says, all of you are going to abandon, turn your back and going to leave me. And Pete says, no, no, not me. Not me. I'd never do this. Well, Peter, funny, I love you. But it's not very smart to argue with the guy who can read your mind. But yes, you will do. This is something you're going to do. They move forward. They go into the garden, and Jesus simply asks them, hey, let's just stay awake and pray with me for a little bit. Jesus goes off to pray. It's probably interrupted by Peter snoring, and he comes back, and Peter's asleep. It does that twice. Then they move forward. Jesus is arrested. The guards come. Peter chops off the ear. Jesus puts it back on his head, so there's another correction. And then they go to the court. And that's where we're going to pick it up. In Matthew 26, we are met with this scene. Now, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl approached him and said, you were with Jesus the Galilean too. He denied it in front of everyone. I don't know what you're talking about. Now, when Peter, when it says that Peter cursed with an oath, that's not the same kind of cursing that we do when somebody cuts us off in traffic, right? This was more along the lines of, may God strike me dead if I'm lying. That was how firm Peter was in saying, I don't know this man. And so he broke. The account of Luke actually tells us that Jesus and Peter made eye contact. And it was at that moment that he broke. And here's one of the reasons why I think that shame is such a powerful tool is because it's so easily mixed up with conviction, right? Like both shame and conviction point immediately at the thing that you don't want to see. The thing that you don't, it points at the mistake. And both make you feel bad about it. And so as a Christian, how do you discern the difference? Like which one is shame? I don't know what to do. And you end up just kind of stuck in the same spot. But the best way that I can come up with to describe the difference is this. Shame disqualifies, and conviction invites. Shame is always going to disqualify you from wherever it is that you're trying to go. Wherever it is that you're trying to accomplish, shame is going to look at you and say, you, you, you, you don't, you can't go there. Like, really? Like, you think that you can do that? But conviction is the opposite of a tool used by the enemy. It's the voice of the Holy Spirit in our life. And it's always inviting us to something. It's always inviting us to what's next. That's the difference. Shame points at our mistakes and shows us how we can never be anything other than that. While conviction points at our mistakes and says, hey, here's what's coming. This is where we go from here. This is what's next in our life. What's fascinating to me about this, like we just talked about where this scene began, there was three to four mistakes, probably about seven to eight if you include the three different times that Peter denied. This is at the end of the Gospels. This is at the end of the three-year window into Peter's mistakes. What has happened every single time? He's dropped the ball. This is what he's known for. He's the guy who messes up. He's the guy who puts his foot in his mouth, except he gets back up and he follows Jesus. He gets back up and goes where Jesus asks him to go over and over and over again, except for this time, it changes. We don't know exactly where Peter went after this moment. We don't know exactly what happened. But all four of the Gospels go to the next scene, which is Jesus' crucifixion. And at the scene of the cross, it lists several of the people who were there, most of which are some of the women who were following Jesus at that point in time. And the Gospel of John tells us that John was there as well. You know who wasn't mentioned? Peter. Like, we can't tell you exactly where Peter went, but with a pretty good amount of certainty, we can tell you where he wasn't. Probably the place that he wanted to be the most. The place with his best friend to support. I don't think Peter was merely flexing when he told Jesus, no, I won't deny you. But what we see is that shame disqualifies us from everything that Jesus invites us to do. Can we stop for a second? And like, it's easy to point a finger at Peter and say, yeah, Peter, you should have just went, man, you're forgiven, like all this other good stuff. But can I ask you, like, what is shame keeping you from that Jesus is inviting you to do? Where is Jesus inviting you in your life that you have convinced yourself that you don't deserve? Where in your life is it this accusation of shame that you could not lead your family towards Jesus? Why would they ever respect you? Who knows you better than them? Why? Do you really think you can go to church? Man, hypocrite. How dare you show your face there? Do you really want to try to have more spiritual disciplines in your life? Like, why are you faking it? That's not you. It's the voice of shame disqualifying you from where Jesus is inviting you. And here's what's true. In your life and in my life, we will never, we will never out-talk shame. I hate that. I remember when I was younger, there was a lady who told me that I had the gift of gab. What I really think she was saying is, Aaron, shut up a little bit, man. But here's what's true. You'll never out-talk and out-convince yourself of why shame is wrong. Do you know why? Because you're you. Like, who knows you better than you? As we try to move past this moment, what are you reminded of? Well, another one. For every one failure, we've got 40 others. And that's where our mind keeps going to, which is why I love what Jesus' response was. To all of this, Jesus shows up in the gospel of John chapter 21. Now, you have several of the disciples who have already went off. and I believe, and there's a lot of people who do believe, that what we're about to read is evidence that Peter went back to his old lifestyle. Peter went back to his old job. It doesn't mean that he is no longer caring for Jesus. He doesn't love Jesus anymore. It doesn't mean that even a little bit, but it just simply means maybe he felt like he couldn't do what Jesus is asking him to do. He couldn't be the person who Jesus was asking him to be, so he will sit into what he did before he knew Christ with a love for Christ. And then Jesus shows up on the beach. Jesus shows up while these guys are out there fishing. They go out fishing throughout the night, and they have been fishing all night. They haven't caught anything. Jesus shows up on the beach and says, hey, guys, you have any fish with you? And no, we haven't. And then we have, I skipped a slide. You can go ahead and jump to the verse, just so you can have the feel, and it says this. To become who Jesus, no, go back one, I'm sorry. What we're to do, let's start over. Let's roll the bumper. And so to become who Jesus says we can be, we must correct who shame says we are, right? Like that's the next point. I think it's at the bottom of your page, whatever. It'll be fine. So, but Jesus shows up on the beach, points at these guys and says, hey, listen, here's what's going on. What did he say? He said something. You guys messed me up so bad again. Where am I at, Nate? I'm just kidding. Don't do that. So Jesus shows up on the beach. These guys have no clue that it's him. They've been fishing all night, and Jesus asked them, hey, do you have any fish? He says, no. So he says, hey, throw your net on the other side of the boat. They throw the net down, and then there's so many fish, they could barely haul it in, and then something clicked. We don't know exactly what was going through Peter's mind, but we do know there was something different in this moment., he tied his outer clothing around him, for he had taken it off and he plunged into the sea. All right, so we can't breeze past all of that yet. Like we got to bring some attention to something because I love fishing. I do. I know a lot of you love fishing. I would love to go fishing with you unless you fish like Peter, which is no fish and in your underwear. Like that just, it's weird. Maybe if you catch fish, sure, I can get past the other thing, but just that's what's going on. Have no clue why it's in there, but John wrote it. So maybe he's just pointing out, look at this dummy, right? So who knows? But something happened in this moment. Something happened. This is the third time that Jesus has appeared to the disciples. And not once do you see this type of a reaction from Peter. So much so, he was so excited to see his Lord that he couldn't wait for the boat to go 100 yards to shore. He jumped out and swam just so he could get there. Peter remembered something. If this story sounds familiar to you, it had to to Peter as well. This is very similar to the very first invitation from Jesus to Peter, where he was sitting out in the water, very similar scene, all night fishing. Clearly, Peter's not very good at it. All night fishing, no fish. Jesus says, throw it on the other side. And they couldn't even bring in all the fish. So that happened and Peter remembered and it drew him to Christ. Some of you may know my story. Some of you don't. I grew up in the church. I wasn't a Christian at all. My father was a pastor. So really what that meant is I knew how to act like a good preacher's kid on Sunday morning, right? So I learned all the do's and all the don'ts. But the moment I had, the moment I had an opportunity to split and kind of leave the church was when I was 16. My parents divorced, and I took the path of least resistance. My entire family left the church and for the next several years of my life. It wasn't that I was ignoring God. I just didn't think of God. It wasn't a conscious decision saying, okay, I don't want anything to do with you. I was just living my life, doing my thing, doing what I wanted to do until I was about 19, 20 years old, had a car accident that should have killed me. And I remember whenever I went into the hospital, I was in the hospital for several weeks, had a shattered kneecap, a severed femur head in my left hip. If you're wondering why I walk with such a strut, that's the reason. But I remember while I was sitting at the hospital, the several years that I had spent just kind of doing my own thing, no consciousness of Jesus or God or anything along the lines of that, not one of the people that I knew hung out with anything, no one showed up. The people who did show up were the people from years and years ago. People that I went to church camp with, friends that I grew up in church with, some of my father's pastor friends, they showed up and they prayed with me. And this, I'm not saying anything about any of the people, but what that was is God reintroducing himself into my world. He began wooing me. And so I started this back and forth journey, right? Like this, this, this back and forth. Okay, God, I'll do the right thing. I'll do it, do it, do it, mess up. And then I kind of run off and then do my own thing again. I can't do that. Mess up, do it, do it, do it, run off, do my own thing again. And it was like this for a very long time because I reverted to what I knew. Like you have to be good enough. You have to be awesome enough. You have to be all of these other things. And then I remember I went to visit a lady named Carol McCraw, the same one who told me I talk a lot. She was a worship leader in our church growing up. And I went honestly, just simply to say hi. She was a very important person to our family. And I remember when I walked in and simply said hello. She saw, she was playing piano as the music was getting started, and she saw me. She got up, she ran, and just gave me a hug. And it was in that moment, it felt like God wrapped his arms around me, and there was nothing that I did. Now, I clearly wasn't carol, but God used her in a pretty big way because it was in that moment I surrendered my heart, and I could do, man, there was such a love for Jesus, and then I'm telling you, over the next several years, we can sit down and have some coffee or something at some point in time. But it's this journey of falling short. And it's these moments of shame floods my mind. And I consistently go back to this moment where all I did was walk into a place with no intention of seeing Jesus, simply to visit a friend. And it was in that moment, like I'm drawn to the compassion of God because of that personal experience. I'm drawn to the love of Christ in that moment because I realized I didn't deserve anything. Like I think about my past and I cringe, But the love of Christ accepted me for who I was and walked alongside of me. I believe that's what's happening in Peter's world right now. Maybe he went back to his old lifestyle. Who knows? Maybe they were hungry and they went fishing. But there was something in this moment that when he saw Jesus, he saw, oh wait, like something clicked and he remembered. He remembered the love that Jesus has for him. He remembered the last three years, not for the failures that he experienced, but for the Christ who picked him up, for the Christ who invited him into something different, for the Jesus, for the man who helped, who walked along the water with him, for the man who never gave up on him. And Peter saw, and he remembered, he didn't go to the beach, and he wasn't met with a stern rebuke. He wasn't met with some disappointed speech. He was met by his best friend who cooked breakfast for him. He got to hang out. Then he asked him the same question three times, right? He says, hey, Pete, do you love me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lord, I love you. Peter, do you love me? Yes, Lord, I love you. Feed my sheep. Hey, Peter, do you love me? Yes, you know I love you. Why are you asking me this? Like, Peter, because you need to remember. You were never, never with me because of how awesome you are. But I want to do something in and through you that will blow your mind. Then I have to believe that it popped back in Peter's mind when Jesus said, hey, I'm building a church and you are the rock on which I will build this church. Peter remembered not the failures that he had, but who Christ said he is. He didn't remember the mistakes that he's had. He remembered the promises of his Lord and Savior. Man, what is shame keeping you from that Jesus is inviting you to? How different would your world look if when the voice of shame started to creep up, you hushed it with the promises of God? How much more boldly and confidently could we walk into what Ephesians 3.20 tells us? That the same God who is working in you is working through you. How much more boldly could we run into that? If when shame said you don't deserve it, you say, I know. But in Christ, I am chosen. In Christ, I'm a child of God. Yeah, but they'll never accept you. They shouldn't. But in Christ, I am completely forgiven. You'll never change. In Christ, I am a new creation. I think that's why Peter told us in 2 Peter that you were chosen and dearly loved. What a shame robbing you from the joy of your salvation, the freedom in Christ. So at the bottom of the bulletin, there's one more blank, and we'll put it on the screen. It simply says this, I am blank in Christ. Now at the bottom of that, we've listed several things, but you can go through those on your own, or you can look throughout Scripture. But what I want you to answer is this. What do you need to know of the promise in Christ? Who do you need to remind yourself are? Who do you need to remind yourself that you are in Christ to hush the voice of shame in your life? Is it that you're new? Is it that you're forgiven? Is it that you're chosen and dearly loved? If you look through that and you don't see it, shoot me an email. I'd love to chat with you. I'd love to help you find whatever it is in your world that will quiet the voice of shame. But maybe put a piece of tape on that. Write it on a sticky. Put it on your dash. Put it on your whatever you need to. Wherever you need to put this so you can remind yourself not simply who you are, but who the Savior of the world says that you are. Who the God who created the heavens and the earth claims that you, his child, is. How different would your world look if we didn't settle with the accusations of shame? But we boldly corrected it with the promises of God. Let's pray. God, thank you. Thank you so much for your kindness. Thank you so much for your love. Thank you so much for your forgiveness that we do not deserve, Lord. As we go throughout our week, as we go throughout our life and inevitably fall short of what it is that you've asked from us, God, would you just send your Holy Spirit to remind us of your promises? Remind us of who you see us as. God, help us to find our identity in your love and in your grace and not our failures. We need you, Father, and we trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Jordan, it is interesting to me that you think profundity is what's required to get up on the stage when they parade me out here every week, falling woefully short of the bar. This is the third part in our series called Big Emotions, where we're just kind of looking at times in Scripture where we see a blow-up or a blow-out or people with with just big overwhelming emotions because that is so much a part of our life. That is something that we experience just as we go through life. Sometimes our emotions are too big for us and they're overwhelming. And so this morning I wanted to take a look at big emotions in our prayers and what happens and how does God respond when big emotions creep into our prayers, when our prayers really become cries. And to do that, I want us to think about prayer together. It's really, when you consider it, one of the more interesting passages in the Bible, one of the more interesting interchanges that Jesus has with his disciples. They're following him around. They're watching him do ministry. And at one point, they look at Jesus and they say, hey, Jesus, will you teach us to pray? Now, this is a really interesting question coming from the disciples. And many of you have probably considered this before. The disciples knew how to pray. They knew how to pray. They had prayed their whole life. They had gone to synagogue every week, maybe daily at different points in their life. I don't know. They had seen a ton of people pray. They knew how to pray. They had prayed many prayers before, but there was something different, so different about the prayers of Jesus that they had to stop him and say, can you teach us to pray like you pray? Because that's different than how we pray. And Jesus responds by sharing with them the Lord's prayer. You guys probably all know it. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. And so in that, Jesus gives the model of prayer to the disciples and to us in perpetuity. And if you break that down, I've always been taught prayer and I've taught prayer this way in church, in youth group, in camps, in different places, in men's groups, small group, when we talk about prayer, something that's always been really helpful for me is the acronym ACTS. And you guys have probably heard this before. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. So the way that Jesus opens up the prayer. When we pray, the first thing we should do is adore God. God, you're great. God, you're good. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. God, you are wonderful for this. God, you blow me away for that. And when we do this, it really puts us in the right posture for prayer, you know? It really reminds us who we're talking to. I had a Bible teacher in high school who was also my soccer coach, who was also my administrator because I went to a small school. And when he would pray in class, he would say, okay, everyone, let's pray, bow your heads. And we would bow our heads to pray, and he would wait 20 or 30 seconds. And so finally, I asked one day, Mr. Dawson, what are you doing? Like, that's awkward. Why do you make us just sit there in silence? What are you waiting on? Because it's almost like, does he want us to pray? Like, should we? And he told me what he was doing. He said he was taking his mind, whenever he would pause before prayer, to Isaiah chapter 6, where the throne room of God is described. And it says that God is on his throne, and the train of his robe is filling the temple with glory. And there's these six-winged angels flying around him saying, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. And it's just so overwhelming that he cowers in a corner. And Mr. Dawson said that when, he said, when I pray, I like to take myself there to put myself in proper posture before God to remind myself when I pray, where am I going? I'm going to the throne room of God, the King of the universe, and I'm addressing the creator of the universe. That's a serious, somber thing. That's a place for humility. That's a place for penitence. This is why when we teach our children to pray, we teach them to bow their heads and close their eyes. It's a sign of reverence. It's a sign of respect for knowing who we're talking to and where we're going. It's why I encourage you as much as you can to kneel when you pray. Because it's hard to put yourself in the posture of kneeling and not feel humble, at least a little bit. And so Jesus says we should start with adoration. We should adore God. We should praise him. And then we should go to confession. What are the things, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. How have we trespassed against God? What attitudes do we bring into this day and into this prayer? What sins do we carry with us that yet remain unconfessed before the Father? What do we need to confess to God before him? And then we move into this time of thanksgiving, praising Him. God, thank you for your goodness in my life. Thank you for my family. Thank you for a church that I love. Thank you for the rain. Thank you for the day, whatever it is. It's John's second birthday today. Thank you for a great two-year-old son and for friends watching him in the nursery right now. Thank you for all of those things. We praise God for things. And then, suffocation. Then we ask for what we need. And you guys know, and you've heard this, that the tendency when we pray is to skip act and go straight to S. Skip all the other stuff and just go, dear God, I really need blank. I really need you to show up here. I really need this to work out. I'm really worried about this. It's all the I need, I need, I need. And there's a place for that in prayer. But the way that Jesus teaches us prayer, it follows this pattern of first putting ourself in the proper place and then confessing our sins, which remind us of the humility we should carry into the throne room. And then thanksgiving, let's acknowledge all the blessings God's given us in our lives before we ask him for more, and then in that proper mindset, say what we need to say. That's kind of the proper way to pray. But sometimes we pray when our emotions are too big for propriety. Sometimes we pray prayers that become cries. And the emotions that we bring into that moment are too big for acts. I've shared with you guys before that the first time Jen and I got pregnant, we miscarried. And I'm not in the business of doing comparative pain for miscarriages and who has the right to the most sorrow. But for us, the pain was particularly acute because we had been praying for a child for years. For years. We had struggled mightily. Our moms and grandmas were praying for babies. We had the church around us at the time praying that we could have a baby. We knew that's what we wanted to do. On my mama's deathbed, a few years before we got pregnant, the very last thing she did for me was direct someone to the top of her closet to get a stuffed animal that she made to give to my child when we had them. She went ahead and made it, and I think my sister finished it up for her so that we would have that to give to our first child. So when we got pregnant, we were elated. And then we went to the checkup for eight weeks, and the baby wasn't there. I don't know how long it took me to pray after that. But the first time I did pray, it wasn't Acts. The first time I prayed, it didn't look very much like our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. It looked a lot more like God. What in the world? What the heck? I would say different words if I weren't on this stage and there weren't children in the audience. That's how I felt, and that's how I prayed. What are you doing? Because we, and we're not entitled to this. None of what I'm about to say really matters, but to us it did. Jen's a school teacher. She loves kids. She's teaching in a Christian school, leading people towards you. We still have relationships with some of the kids that she taught in those days. I was a school teacher. I taught high school Bible. And then I worked at a church. We had made good choices. We were good Christian people. We had checked all the boxes. We had done all the things. And there was people who were living lives way more rebellious than us who were just tripping accidentally into family. And then we get pregnant and then you take it? No, I'm not praying acts. I'm not following the pattern for this one. There are some prayers that we pray that become cries. When we hear of the terminal diagnosis and we go to the Father and we say, really? This one? Him? Her? Why not me in your jacked up economy? Why them? There's a girl in our community. She's a young woman in our community. Just last week or two. She battled cancer for five years and came to it a week or two ago. Beautiful family, young kids. I don't know when that husband is going to pray again. When he does, those prayers will be cries. We've all prayed prayers like that. Where we're walking through what feels to us like the dark night of the soul and we don't have time or patience for propriety. We just go to our God and we are raw and we are real and we cry out, what in the world? How is this right? How does this make sense? As parents that send their kids to school in that private school in Nashville, what do those prayers sound like when they start to pray again? We've all prayed those prayers that are so big and so raw and so emotional that they become cries. And so I think it's worth it to look and see how God handles these prayers in Scripture. Because we get to see some. God in His goodness left them for us in His inspired Word. And so what I want to encourage you with today is, I know that we've all prayed those prayers. If you've never prayed those prayers, I'm so happy for you. I hope you never do, but I think you will. And what I want us to know as we look into the scripture this morning is that God is not offended by our prayers that become cries. I don't think God in his goodness and in his grace and in his mercy is offended when I look at him after the deepest pain that I've felt up to that point in my life and I go, what in the world? That's not fair. That's not right. That doesn't make sense. I don't think God gets offended by those things. I don't think he's so small that our broken hearts offend our God. And I actually think that there's grace and space for those prayers because we see them in the Bible. We actually see Jesus pray one of these prayers, a prayer that is so raw and so real and so emotional that it becomes a cry. This prayer is recorded in all four Gospels. We're going to look at the account in the Gospel of Luke chapter 22. Beginning in verse 39. And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, speaking of Jesus. And the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place, he said to them, pray that you may not enter into temptation. And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw and knelt down and prayed, saying, Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, this scene, many of you know it, Jesus has just left the Last Supper with the disciples. He's instituted communion. He's told them, my body is going to be broken for you. My blood is going to be spilled for you. He knows what is going to happen. He knows when he gets done praying, he's going to be arrested. And he knows that when he's arrested, he's going to be tried. And after he's tried, he's going to be flogged and beaten, and he's going to be hung on a cross and left there to die and then face death and hell. He knows that. And so he brings the disciples with him, and he says, remain here while I pray. And he goes off a distance, one would assume, so that they couldn't hear him. And it is interesting that they all ended up hearing him, because there's nothing in the text to indicate that Jesus subtly knelt and clasped his hands and said, my Father who is in heaven. No, these prayers from Jesus that we see, in Luke it says he knelt. In another gospel it says that he fell with his face to the ground. And the disciples are a stone's throw away and they can hear him clearly. And then he gets so intense in his praying that sweat begins to mix with his blood, which we know is something that can actually happen in moments of incredibly intense stress in our lives. So the prayer that Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane was not, Dear God, if there's any other way, would you please point me in that? It wasn't that. It was Jesus on his face prostrate, God, Father, please don't make me do this. Please, is there any other way? Is there anything else I can do? I do not want to bear this. I do not want to be on the cross and hear you and see you turn your back on me. I do not want to say, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I do not want the crown of thorns in my head. I do not want the nails in my wrist. I do not want to do this, Father. Is there any other way? Please, please take this cup from me. That's a prayer becoming a cry. That's Jesus sidestepping propriety and crying out to his heavenly father. And in there, he finds what we should find when we pray like this. No matter how deep, no matter how raw, yet not my will but your will be done. Please give me the strength to accept your will. So I know that God isn't offended by those prayers because his son prays one to him in full view and vision of the disciples. And then he tells us about it in all four gospels. And that made me wonder, where else in the Bible do we have prayers that are raw and real and emotional? Where else in the Bible do we have prayers that have become cries? And of course, I went to Psalms. And I just started reading them and flipping through and finding them, these things where people are just raw. I am weary unto death. I want to die. Take my life. And I put them in your notes, Psalm 142 and Psalm 13 and Psalm 77. I think of Hannah's prayer in the temple when she's praying so earnestly and fervently for a child that Eli the priest thinks she's drunk. I think of the book of Lamentations, which is a whole book of tough, raw prayers. And I was going to kind of bounce around between those prayers, but then I was reminded of another psalm that's really dear to my heart, Psalm 88. If you have a Bible, I would encourage you to turn there. I encountered Psalm 88 when I took a trip to Israel several years ago. One of the things most groups do when you go to Israel is when you're in Jerusalem, you go to Caiaphas' house. Caiaphas is the high priest that had Jesus arrested, had him tried, and had him murdered. And in the basement of Caiaphas' house is this makeshift small dungeon. And a portion of the dungeon is a cylindrical room that they would tie ropes under the shoulders of the prisoner and lower them into this pitch black, dark room. Now there's stairs that lead down, but in Caiaphas' day, in Jesus' day, that was not the case. They lower you in and they pull you up when they're ready for you. And most people believe that this is where Jesus spent the night after he got arrested, waiting on his trial before Pilate the next day. And when you go to Jerusalem, you can go down into that cell. And our guide pointed us to Psalm 88. Psalm 88 was written by the sons of Korah, we're told. But it's also believed by scholars to be a prophetic messianic psalm. And many scholars believe that this is meant to be the prayer that Jesus prays after he's arrested. If it's not the prayer that he prays after he's arrested, Jesus knew the scriptures, he knew the psalms, this could very well be a psalm that came to mind that he quoted. But when I picture Jesus arrested and alone and reading, crying these things out, it brings fresh meaning to it for me. And when we listen to it and read it, I think you'll be taken aback by how very real it is. So I'm going to read a good portion of it. Beginning in verse 11. Is your steadfast love declared in the grave or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders known in the darkness or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? And then verse 13, They surround me like a flood all day long. They close in on me together. You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me. My companions have become darkness. That's a real prayer. That's not a prayer you pray in church in front of other people. That's not how we teach our kids to pray. We see accusations in this prayer. You have caused my friends and my loved ones to shun me. It is your wrath that beats against me and waves and covers me. The person crying out to God in this psalm feels the darkness closing in in such a way that they don't know if they will see the light again. My companions have become darkness, he ends with. And that's it. I am grateful to God for choosing to include in his Bible and his inspired word prayers that are that raw and that are that real. Prayers that show us that when our emotions are too big for propriety, that our God can meet us in those places and hear us. He appreciates those prayers so much so that he recorded them and fought for them and protected them down through the centuries so that we could see them too. So when we pray them, it's okay. When we need to cry out to God, we can. He's not offended by those prayers. He hears those prayers. He welcomes those prayers. And here's what else happens when we cry out to God, when our prayers become cries, when we lose all sense of propriety and we're just trying to figure it out. Here's what else happens when it's literally the dark night of our soul and the darkness is closing in around us and our life is falling apart and our children are making decisions that we don't understand and our husband is making decisions that we don't understand and everything that we thought was going to happen, this future that we had projected is not going to happen. This person that I love is not in my life anymore and I see reminders of them all the time and I don't know how I'm going to put one foot in front of the other. I don't know how I'm going to do it. When we pray those prayers, this is what happens. If we look back at Luke 22, there's a verse that I skipped. Verse 43. In the middle of his praying, and there appeared to him an angel from heaven strengthening him. In the middle of Jesus crying out, Father, please don't make me do this. Please let there be another way. God says, son, you're going to have to walk that path. But he doesn't make him do it on his own. He sends an angel to strengthen Jesus in the dark night of his soul. And I can't help but believe that God will send angels to strengthen you too. When you pray those prayers, I think God sends his angels to strengthen you as well. And I don't know what those angels look like. Maybe it's a hug. Maybe it's someone's presence. Maybe it's a text or a phone call or an email. I know in our family it's cardinals. Maybe it's a southern thing, I'm not sure. But we believe that when a cardinal shows up in your view, that that's a lost loved one who's just stopping by to say hello. Just to check in on you. And so sometimes God sends cardinals just when we need them. Another big one in our family is Mallard Ducks. You know that we lost my father-in-law a couple years ago. And Mallard Ducks were really special to him. And I can't tell you all the cool places where we've just kind of looked and there's a duck there that doesn't belong there. And it's just God kind of reminding us that he loves us, that he sees our pain, that he walks with us in that pain. Maybe, for some of us, God's using this morning to strengthen you, to buoy you. I hope so. Maybe this is just what you need. My hope for all of you is that you never need this sermon and you never have to pray those prayers. But my suspicion is you have a better chance of dodging raindrops on the way back to your car in a downpour than you do of living a life without tragedy. And so I think all of us, at some point, need this sermon and this reminder that when our emotions are too big for propriety, God can hear those prayers too. And in the hearing, in those moments, he sends his angels one way or another to strengthen us. I just got done reading a book. It's actually Beth Moore's biography. I would highly recommend it. One of the best books I've read in a couple years. And in it, she was talking to someone who faced incredible tragedy. And she asked her, how is it that you have kept going through these years? And she said, God opens my eyes every morning. I have no other explanation than that. There are nights that I went to sleep and I did not want to wake up and God opens my eyes. And so I get up that day and for us today I use the breath that's in my lungs and I praise him and I go. We will all in different times and seasons and for different reasons and in different ways walk through dark nights of the soul. But when we do, we can cry out to God. And when we cry out to God, He will hear us. And when He hears us, He will send His angels to strengthen us. I'll finish with this verse from Isaiah, and then I'll pray, because it's one of my favorites. We're taught in Isaiah that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and that he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. Let's pray. Lord, we love you. You're big, you're good, and you're gracious, and we are broken. We need you so much, and we have no right, we have no right to pound our desk and shake our fist and demand answers from you. We have no right to do that, and yet in your goodness, from time to time, you allow it, and you hug us, and you weep with us. I lift up the people today who might have recently prayed prayers like these, and I just ask that you would strengthen them, that they would feel your presence, they would feel your goodness, they would feel your love, they would be strengthened by you. Father, buoy us and tether us to you. God, we also thank you that Jesus did drink of that cup, that he did die for us, that he did conquer death and sin and hell for us so that we don't have to. And God, we look forward to a day when we understand things just a little bit better. But in the meantime, may your presence and your love be ever enough. In Jesus' name, amen.

Good morning. Good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Happy New Year. If I had known that worship was going to be that good, I would have prepared a better sermon. So we just had the best part of the service already. And let me just say to you, if coming to church more regularly is one of your New Year's resolutions, I am rooting so hard for you. I am happy for that. And we are doing everything we can to make it worth your while and enriching and good to get up and get ready and come and hopefully be pushed a little bit closer to Jesus when you left than when you were when you came through the doors. And I would also say this, if that is a New Year's resolution for you, and so grace is the place that you're choosing to do that, if you get a couple weeks in and this just ain't cutting it, man, this is not doing it, can you just please go visit another church before you just quit church? Because there's a lot of great churches in the area, and some of them are probably hitting notes that we're not. And I would really love to see everybody involved in a church family. It's such an important part of life. So I would just throw that out there to you. This series that we are focused on now for this month is called Known For. And we're going to be talking about this idea of reputation and what we're known for. So in week one, to be known for, and then we're going to say, what do we want our faith, big C church, Christianity, and our culture today, what do we want it to be known for? And so if you're a praying person, you can be praying for me for that fourth week, because there's things I want to say that I shouldn't. There's things that I need to say that I'm going to be scared to, and I'm going to have to find a good balance there because there's a lot to say about how Christians posture themselves in our current culture, and I want to talk to Grace about how we can be on the right end of that, helping Christianity in our culture. But that begins with focusing first on ourselves and on our reputations. Now, everybody, I would think, is known for something. Everybody has a bit of a reputation, right? I think when we think of people who are known for things, that maybe we think of people who have lived bigger lives than most of us. Politicians or athletes or celebrities or authors or people who influence in some way, but I would argue that everybody's known for something. I mean, if you think about it this way, what would you say your dad's known for? When you think about your dad, what do you think of? What's your mom known for? When you think about your best friend, your husband or your wife, what are they known for in your circles? Right? Something comes to mind. When you think about your favorite co-worker, what are they known for in the office space? When you think about your least favorite co-worker, what are they known for in the office space? In this office space, it's youth ministry is what they're known for. That was the joke of me making fun of Kyle, our student pastor, just in case you guys didn't catch on to that. He's the worst. He's getting married in six days. Yay, Kyle! Everybody is known for something. You're known for something. You're known for something by your acquaintances, kind of concentric circles of concern. By your acquaintances, you're known in certain ways. By your close friends, you're known in certain ways. And by your family, you're known in certain ways. And so the question that I would put in front of you this morning, and it's a good question to consider at the beginning of a year, the time when we do New Year's resolutions, What are you known for? What is your reputation? And I think those concentric circles of concern are important to consider because it's really easy to be known for certain things, to put on a good face with your acquaintances, with the people that you interact with at work sometimes, with your neighbors that you see sometimes, with your friends that you hang out with when you want to. We can put on a good show for those kind of outer edge people, right? And then our friends who may text with us more, call us more, interact with us more, they kind of know us a little bit better. I was 17 years old, and I had this really incredible experience at camp. And I was really moved towards Jesus. I grew up in the church, but God kind of got a hold of me, just reinvigorated me, and I was really just, it was one of those spiritual highs, right? And my dad was, he was the chairman of the board growing up. He was a big church guy. All my memories are church memories, and I was so proud to tell him, Dad, I'm really going to choose Jesus. I'm really going to push after him. He totally changed me while I was there, and he looked at me, and he said, that's great, son. Be nice to your mom. I was like, dang you. He just crutted on my spiritual high, but he was right. Our families know us best. We can't fake it with our spouses. We can't fake it with our kids. They grow up in our homes. They see us at our best and our worst. What are we known for in our families? And so then I would ask you, what do you want to be known for? What would you hope to be known for? When people hear your name, what do you want them to think? Your kids growing up in your house, what kind of stories do you want them to tell about you? When your coworkers talk about you behind your back when you leave the room or when you're in the meeting, what do you want them to say? When your friends that you play tennis with or you do trivia night with or you do whatever neighborhood stuff with find out that you're really involved in your church, what do you want them to think? Do you want them to go, yeah, that checks out? Or do you want them to go, really? Him? Huh. What do you want your reputation to be? Now, some of you could be like my wife, Jen, who's not here this morning. John's got a little bit of a fever, so we're kind of tending to that. So I can say this and not embarrass her. She's got a pretty good reputation. If you know Jen, you know that everybody calls her Sweet Jen. She doesn't have a lot of work to do on how she's perceived by the general public, nor does she have work to do with how she's perceived by me. She's got a pretty good name in our house. And so maybe that's you. And as you think about your reputation and you think about what you want to be known for, God and his goodness and you and your humility have done a good job in actually making a good name for yourself. And so we just need to continue there. That's great. But maybe you're like me. Jeff, what are you laughing at, man? Yeah, maybe you're like me and Jeff. And you've got some rough edges. You have probably a good reputation. You're known for positive things. People think of you well, but there's also some parts about you, and you know them, and they know them, that, man, you'd love to shave off. I know for me, I think I'm known at all three levels of my life. I think I'm known for being loyal, being honest, hopefully for being a good and loving friend, being present. But I can also be known to be gruff and grumpy. And if I'm being honest, one of my least favorite things about myself right now is I can get into moods that begin to affect the tone and tenor of everything around me, whether it's at staff or an elder meeting or at my house or with my friends. And I don't like those moods, man. I don't like being that grumpy sometimes. I don't want to be known for that. And maybe you have some things in your life that you don't want to be known for either. So as you move into this year, I would ask you, what do you want to be known for? And there are others of you who may just feel like no matter what you do, you're known for your mistake. You're known for screwing up. You're an addict, and you'll never not be. You're a cheater, and you've just got to live with it. You've made a big, huge mistake. And you feel like that when everybody sees you, all they see is that mistake, and all they'll ever see is that mistake. And I just want to tell you that it's never too late to rebuild your reputation. I told you guys at Christmas Eve, and I've mentioned stories about him before, about my pawpaw. And I hesitated to share this because it's, first of all, I don't want to talk about him all the time, and second of all, this is his business, it's not ours, but he's in heaven now, and I don't think he'd mind too much. I think when you get to heaven, you get a lot of grace for people's humanity. But I told you guys, he's my favorite person that's ever lived, and that's true. I've told you I have glowing memories of him and how present he was and how much he loved me. But his name was Don. Don also grew up real poor in South Georgia, I guess in the 30s. Had a daddy that was abusive, had a dirt floor. And then he had kids in the 60s and 70s, and he raised them. And he raised them like a man without a good daddy, without Jesus, would. And he had a temper, and sometimes it got the best of him. So the kids who grew up in that home did not know him like I knew him. But at one point, he came to know Jesus. And I don't know that he did it intentionally, but he began to rebuild his reputation. So that now, I don't know that part of him. I don't know that side of him. I never experienced it. And his children all have fond memories of him, all love him, all continue to mourn him. It's never too late to choose a new reputation. So the answer to that question, what reputation do you want to have, if it feels impossible to you, it is not. By God's goodness and through your humility, you can begin to work towards it. And there are others of you who fall into this camp. I'm not going to linger here long, but it is worth saying. There are some of you in here who have a good reputation. You have a good name. And that's good. And people think highly of you. And that's good. But you got a secret. You got some stuff going on in the shadows. And if people found out about it, you wouldn't have that good reputation anymore. So you look good, but you're not. And you know it. Maybe this can be the year that you finally leave those shadows behind. You finally leave those in the past. And you finally walk as the person that everybody believes you are and that God created you to be. And maybe it's possible that God in his goodness and his love for you has kept those things in the dark for you to give you opportunity to move away from them and be who he wants you to be this year and moving forward. I pray that none of us have stuff going on in the shadows that could ruin what everybody sees in the light. But if we do, let's be done with that too. But as we consider this question, what do you want to be known for? Not what are you known for, what do you want to be known for? I think it's actually way more important to ask the question, what does God want you to be known for? What does God want you to be known for? If you're a believer, if you're a Christian, if you're a child of God, which means to be someone who is a Christian, you believe that Jesus is who he says he is. He's the son of God and he came to earth. That he did what he said he did. He died on the cross and he rose again on the third day. And that he's going to do what he says he's going to do. He's going to come back one day and he's going to make all the wrong things right and the sad things untrue. If you believe those things about Jesus, then you are a Christian. You are a child of God. And what does God want your reputation to be? What does he want you to be known for? And that might sound like a little bit of a silly question, but I actually believe, based on the counsel of scripture, that this is an important question, that it matters to God deeply what your reputation is. I think it matters to your heavenly father very much how you're known with your friends and in your co-workers and your good friends and in your family. I think it matters to your heavenly father very much how you're known with your friends and in your coworkers and your good friends and in your family. I think it matters to him a lot how you're known. And I don't just think that intuitively because as I was thinking about it this week, of course God cares what his children's reputations are because don't you care what your kids' reputations are? Doesn't your heart fill with pride when the teacher says, you've got a great kid here, they're doing wonderful? Isn't it filled with shame when your teacher says, your kid is terrible, I wish they weren't in my class? We want our children to have good reputations, not just because they're a reflection on us, but because we want them to have a good name. So does God care about the reputations of his children. But again, it's not just intuitively that I believe this. It says so in Scripture. In Proverbs 22, verse 1, it says, God says if you have the choice between great wealth or a good name, choose a good name. I do not have that choice. I get to choose a good name or nothing. It's not an either or situation for me. But if you do have the opportunity to choose wealth or to choose name, choose name, choose reputation, choose standing, choose favor. That's how important it is that you have a good reputation to God. It's so important, in fact, that in the New Testament, when they start to name church officers, things for people to do within the church, they make reputation one of the requirements. In the book of Acts, there's this scene, I believe in chapter 6, where they had to choose deacons, people to do the ministry of the church, kind of think church staff, because the disciples were getting, they were trying to focus on prayer and teaching, and they were getting so caught up in the daily needs of the church, they could no longer meet them. And so God instructed them, go and choose seven men to be deacons and to meet the needs within the church. And there was two requirements to be a deacon. One was to be faithful and filled with the Spirit. The other one was to have a good reputation in the community. God didn't want anyone in leadership in his church that wasn't well-known and well-thought-of in the community in which they were serving. And then to further that, to choose elders, Paul writes to Titus, when you're choosing elders, when you're choosing the leaders of your church, among the things that I want to be true of them, that God wants to be true of them, they need to have a good reputation amongst outsiders. There's another place where God says in 1 Peter, God says through Peter, that Christians are to be a good example, to set a good example, to have a good reputation amongst the Gentiles, amongst non-believers, so that they can find no fault in you. Your reputation and what you're known for matters a lot to your God. So what does he want you to be known for? Well, this is an interesting question, because there's so many instructions about this all over scripture. There's so many different times in scripture where we are told what he wants us to do and who he wants us to be. I think of Philippians 4, 5 when it says, let your reasonableness be known to all people. So God, and I think this is interesting and worth pointing out, God wants his children to be thoughtful, reasonable people. I don't think that we often associate that with a Christian trait, but it is. We need to be thoughtful, reasonable people. And let me just kind of put a finer point on that. If you learned everything you needed to learn in your life by the age of 33, and you don't have any new opinions since then, and no new information has entered your brain since then, you're not being a thoughtful, reasonable person. Or you're a freaking smart 33-year-old. You really nailed it. God calls us to be thoughtful, reasonable people. In the Beatitudes that we're going to focus on next month in February in a series called Blessed, he calls us to be meek, to be peacemakers, to hunger and thirst for righteousness. In different areas of the Bible, he gives us different lists of characteristics that we are to pursue. In Galatians, he tells us that we will be known by our fruit, either the fruit of an evil life or the fruit of a life filled with the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I think you can make a very strong argument that God wants his children to be known for those fruit. And then in Ephesians, we get kind of a seminal passage of what is the picture of what a Christian should be? What is the picture of what God wants us to be? Read with me in Ephesians chapter 4, verses 1 through 6. Paul writes this, I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. So Paul kind of lays it out there in Ephesians. Be humble, be gentle, bear with one another, be loving, be patient. And we see these kinds of verses over and over again through scripture. And the reality of it is, it's really hard to wrap your mind around all the things that God wants us to be known for. I grew up, I don't have any memories of my life without church. We were there every time the doors were open. My parents were highly involved. I went to a Christian elementary school and high school. I went to a Bible college. I went to seminary. I've been in ministry for 20 years. And I don't think I could get 50% of all the characteristics that are listed out in the whole of Scripture as to what God wants His children to be. It's a lot there. So when you ask, what does God want us to be known for, that's a tricky answer because it gets long. And it can be confusing and intimidating, which is why God boiled it down for us. And the more I thought about this, the more I thought there really is a simple answer here for all of us. What does God want us to be known for? God wants his children to be known for loving well. That's what he wants you to be known for. What does God want you to be known for? He wants you to be known for loving well. And I didn't put a person there, loving him well, loving your neighbor well neighbor well. Loving your spouse well. Loving your church well. Just loving well. To be an excellent lover. That's why we're told in scripture that God tells us that we should love him with all our heart, soul, mind. Amen. And that we should love our neighbor as ourself. And then he says, on this rests the whole law and the prophets. The entire Bible. All the commandments in the Bible are summed up in those two, love God well, love others well. And then Jesus makes it even easier. He tells the disciples this new commandment I give you towards the end of his life, love others as I have loved you. And then John, 30 years later, writing his letters to the general church, 1st, 2nd, 3rd John, basically says, if you say you know Jesus and you do not love, then you are full of it. Now that's a loose paraphrase, but the spirit of it is there. He says you're a liar and the truth is not in you. What does God want his children to be known for? He wants us to be known for loving well. And if you think about it, it makes sense. How can I love someone well if I'm not humble? How can I love someone well if I don't bear up their burdens? Well, if I don't bear up their burdens, if I'm not patient with them, if I don't listen to them? How can we love people well if we are not reasonable and we will not listen to what they say or what they think? If we're not open to new understandings and new ideas. How can we love people well if we're not meek but we're just brash all the time? And so the reality of it is there's a lot of different characteristics that a lot of us need to work on, but what God wants us to be known for and what I want you to be known for in 2023 is to love well. And that looks different in different seasons of life, but I can tell you this. If you have a spouse, God wants you to love them well, to respect them deeply, to serve them, to live for them and not yourself. God wants you to choose them. God wants the people who see your marriage to go, man, they love each other so much. He serves her so well. She honors him so much in the way she talks about him. That's what God in your marriage, if you have children in your home, God wants for your children to look at your marriage and say, that's what I want when I grow up and I'm not going to settle for anything less. So what do you want to be known for? What does God want from you this year? He wants you to be a good husband and good wife. He wants you to be present for them. If you have kids, if they're at home, what does God want for you there? He wants you to love them well. He wants you to be present with them. He wants you to get off your phone and turn off the TV and get on the floor and play with them. He wants you to listen to them. He wants you to be interested in them or feign interest the best way you know how. When the Bible says in Isaiah that you will run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint and will soar on wings like eagles, I think he's talking to parents who have seven-year-olds and have to watch the seventh thing of the day. What does God want you to be known for? He wants you to be the person in the office that people come to and share with. He wants you to be the consistent one. He wants you to be the one that will listen to other people be human but will not run down your boss or their coworker just for the fun of it. He wants you to be the one that exists above that fray. He wants you to be the one who honors him in all that you do, who loves your co-workers well. He wants you to be the one in your friend group who loves well, who points people towards Jesus. He wants you to be the one in the neighborhood that's the most patient with the other kids, that's the most giving and hospitable with your time. He wants you to be known for how well you love. And I wondered why this was so important to God. And why is reputation so important that we're going to spend four weeks on it? And this occurred to me, and I'm going to throw this out here. You guys try it on. You see if you agree with this, because it's going to come up every week. I'm going to remind us of this. We're going to tie back into these two ideas. Into one, that God wants us to be known for loving well. And then this idea too, that there is nothing more persuasive than a name. I don't think there's anything in life more persuasive than somebody's name. And here's what I mean. Think about recommendations that you get from people. Some people you get bad recommendations from, some good. There's somebody who was in one of my small groups a couple years ago, and in that small group we were sharing about this experience we had with sushi in New York City. And if you want to hear about it, I'll tell you about it, because it was amazing. It was the best food I ever had in my life. It was a great meal. And we were kind of telling them about that. And he pipes up and he says, oh, yeah, I know where to get great sushi. I said, really, where? He goes, yeah, there's this place in Boone. It's the best sushi in the world. And I'm like, Boone? Five hours from the ocean, Boone? Like that Boone? Hill country of App State? Where they're still nailing chicken fried steaks? Like that boon? That place? And I said, did you mean like best in, like boon? Or like Western North Carolina? He's like, nope, the world. Better than like New York City, San Francisco, Seattle, Tokyo? Like the place where they invented it? Better than those places? Yes, way better. You'll never have better sushi. And in that moment, I realized I will never listen to you again in my life. That dude could tell me, dude, I tried this great barbecue restaurant down the street. I will never, ever go there. I do not trust. Now, he can tell me about other things. This book is good. These things are nice. But if he tells me about food, you can shove it, buddy. I've got this other friend who I've been really close friends with him for 30 years now. And I trust his recommendations on TV shows and movies and podcasts and books so much that he doesn't even have to talk me into them anymore. He can just text me the name of a show and I will just go binge all 12 seasons of it right there. Like I know it's going to be good. He doesn't even have to do anything. If Tyler tells me I should do this, I will because I trust him. Over time, he's built a good reputation of taste and I know that it's not to let me down. There is nothing more convincing than a name. And where this becomes particularly important is when we are trying to reach a lost world. I've mentioned this to you before, but if you are a believer, the only reason God doesn't snatch you right into heaven the very second you come to faith is so that on your way to that eternity for which he created you, you can bring as many people with you along the way as possible. The only reason you still draw breath is so you can bring as many people to eternity in heaven with you as you go as is humanly possible. If there was anything else to do, if that wasn't true, he would just snatch you right to heaven just as soon as you accepted him. Why wouldn't this place with so much pain and hurt and whisk you right up away to heaven immediately so you can begin to experience paradise with him? Why wouldn't he do that unless he's leaving you here so that on your way to that place that he's preparing for you, you can bring as many people with you as possible. That's why you're here. And if you want to bring other people with you, what could be more persuasive than a good name? What could be more persuasive than someone who claims to love Jesus and then loves them like they actually do love Jesus? Because in our culture, in 2023, your neighbors and your coworkers and your friends who do not embrace Christ, maybe they've outright rejected him. Maybe they're one of those people who say that they've accepted Jesus, they believe in him, but they're good and they don't really prioritize their faith at all and it makes us wonder if there is genuine faith there. If you have people in your life like that. You know, in the past, we talked about evangelism, this act of sharing our faith and pushing people towards Christ and hopefully seeing them come to faith. In the past, we were told about how to tell people about Jesus. 2023, guess what? They've all heard of him. It's very likely they have a reason. Can I tell you it's pretty likely it's a good reason? That deserves a thoughtful response? Are those people that you know who do not embrace faith, are they more likely to be won over by a theological argument? By digging into the science so that you can try to disprove atheism? By sending them to a blog post or a website or a case for faith by Lee Strobel? Or are they most likely to be won over by a name that's loved them for years? By someone who says they love Jesus, who says they love others, and in your marriage, and in your relationship with your children, and in your relationship with them, they see it. I'm not saying you're faultless, but I'm saying what's more convincing to the outside world than someone who actually practices what they preach and walks what they talk and has a good name that can be trusted. So that when that name says, hey, my church is pretty special to me, I'd love for you to come too, That actually carries some weight, and they go, because they think there's something different about this family. And I don't know what it is, but if it's their faith, then I want to understand that. A good name gets your foot in the door when you say, yeah, I do actually have a faith. I do believe in Jesus, and let me tell you why. If you have a good name and a reputation that supports that statement, they're going to listen to you with a lot more attention than if you don't have a good reputation with them, if the video does not match the audio. So I believe that God cares deeply about your reputation and what you are known for because a good reputation is more persuasive than anything else on the planet. So I hope that 2023 will be a year that you choose to ask yourself regularly, what am I known for and what do I want to be known for? How am I loving? Am I loving well? Am I being lazy? Am I being sloppy? Am I being selfish? Or am I being someone who loves like Jesus loves? Understanding that as we love in that way, there is nothing more persuasive to those around us than a consistent love of Christ and love of them. And please understand that the only way, you're not white knuckling your way to good love. You're not doing that. You have to wake up every day, spend time in God's word, time in prayer. You gotta pursue him. You gotta seek him. You gotta have friendships in your life that feed you spiritually. You gotta talk about Jesus to your children and to your friends've got to focus your eyes on Christ, the found love, and that love will be noticed. And people will come to faith because God is using you in their life. I went this year at Grace. We're back open. This is hopefully the first normal year we've had in three years. We're ready to run. We're ready to do ministry. We're ready to go. I want to see a lot of new faces at Grace. I want to meet a lot of your neighbors. I want to meet a lot of your coworkers. And listen to me. I don't want to do that because of church growth. And the people who know me best know I don't give a flip about church growth for the sake of church growth. I don't care about that. Can I just tell you this? Here's what I realized last year. If we just stay this size with this size staff and you guys all just keep coming, my life is so easy. But I want to see new faces here. Because new faces mean you're out in your community and you're sharing about your faith. New faces mean that you're trusted. New faces mean that you have a good name and you're using it to bring people to eternity with you. I want to see a lot of baptisms this year. Because baptisms mean people have been awakened to or have come to faith. I want to see the way God moves in our church this year when we are people who focus on loving well. I want this to be a year where we reach our community well, and I think that's done through building a good reputation. So we're going to take the next three weeks. I'm actually excited about this series because often in a series we'll have kind of a list of topics, reputation, faith, grace, love, whatever it is. And I'll kind of hit those and then move on. But this time we're going to spend four weeks in what we're known for and really deep dive into it. And I'm excited at the opportunity to do that. And I hope that you'll come along with me. And I hope that people will come to love your Savior because of how well you have loved them. Let's pray. Father, we always say that we love you, but we acknowledge that we love you because you first loved us, because you first cared for us, because you created us, because you created us to share yourself with us, and that you have designed for us and purposed us for in eternity. God, I pray that we would bring as many people as we can with us on our way there. Father, for those who feel like their reputation is tarnished, I pray that you would give them a vision for a new one and a belief that if they simply love you and love others well, that that will change. God, for those with secrets or rough edges, would you move us away from those and towards you? Would we embrace your goodness in our life? Would we embrace the firm foundation of love that you have given us and walk in that love and trust you alone and not other things to bring us happiness and joy. But would we lean into you more this year and in doing so be a magnet for those around you and God for those that you're using with good names already. Would you just keep on giving them energy as they go. Father we pray at the beginning of this year for a lot of new faces in this church so that we can have the opportunity to love on them and see them come to know you and that because we love them well, they open their eyes to how much you already love them and they come to love you too. It's in your son's name we are able to pray all these things. Amen.

Well, good morning. Good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be the lead pastor here. And I actually am kind of laughing to myself because this morning's sermon is about family. And during that worship set, I think we got some good illustrations of family. Power goes out, it goes wrong. You guys kept singing. It was actually really beautiful. And I was proud of you in that moment. I just want it to be stated for the record that there was a surge back there, and there's a button that turns on all of the equipment that the sound comes through, and I remembered that and hit the button. That's right. I saved Christmas. The other really funny thing that happened up here that I just want to share with you guys because families have inside jokes, and this is a good one one for us. In the song, Hark the Herald, I'm going to do it, Aaron. In the song, Hark the Herald, Angels Sing, there's a verse where it said there's a line that says, like, hail incarnate deity. But that's a tough line to sing, and Aaron can't quite get it. So when he says it, he sings hail incarnate deity, like carne asada, like tacos, right? And you can't hear him sing the song and not hail the incarnate deity, which is pretty great because he is also the God of carne asada. And so I swore I wasn't going to look at him. We were laughing before the service about it in rehearsal. I swore I wasn't going to look at him. I didn't want to throw him off. So I didn't, but then he backs off. You know, he does the thing where he backs off the mic, right? and everybody sings, and it's a spiritual moment. It was not spiritual in Hark the Herald. He had to compose himself. So then I lean over to Jen and tell her what he's doing, and then he sees me talking to her. I'm sorry. And so then he starts laughing again. So then he gives you guys a spiritual chance to sing the song again while he composes himself. So anyways, that's what happened during Hark the Herald. But yeah, this morning is about family because when we think of Christmas, we think of family, right? It's inevitably a part of the Christmas season. And that means different things to different people. For some of us, it means really good things. For some of us, when we think about Christmas and we think about the holidays and we think about seeing our families, our moms and our dads, our grandparents, our brothers and sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, all that stuff, it's a good, sweet time. We're really excited about it. We're really looking forward to it. And if that's you, that's fantastic. For others of us, it's stressful. I talked to a couple people this morning. You got big Christmas plans? And they go, yeah, we got to get lots of places, you know, or we got lots of people coming over, lots of big stuff to do. And for those who say, gosh, it feels stressful because there's so many people coming over, there's going to be so many folks there, or I've got so many people to go see, like, man, there's a lot of folks who'd be pretty jealous of that. Those are the golden years, man. Soak those up. For others of us, when we think about family at Christmas, it's stressful. We know we're going to be stepping into an environment, we're going to be sitting around a dinner table, where there's certain landmines that are going to be laid for us, and we better not step on them. And some of you want to step on them real bad, right? And your wife's like, please don't do it. Please don't say the thing. The conversation gets political. You want to say your thing. You know you shouldn't. Some of us are stepping into stressful situations, and not even just in a silly way, but family's just tense. Family's hard right now. And then there are others and these are the people that I think about the most. And if this is you, just know that I may not be praying for you by name, but I'm praying for you in general and your situation as often as I can remember to do it. There are others for whom thinking about family during Christmas is hard because either there's loss or there's loneliness, right? Christmas is hard because this is the first Christmas with that empty seat where someone's not where they're supposed to be and everything's going to feel different. Or it's been five years since the loss, but it still hurts the same when you sit around. I know that when my family lost my papa, Christmases were just, they just were never the same. They just weren't. I haven't had that much joy in a Christmas since we lost him. For others in our body, Christmas is a time of loneliness. It's a time when everybody else goes to their families and we might not have ours around us or at all. And if that's you, I pray for you often because I hate that for you. But I think that no matter where we are on that spectrum of good, dreading, where it just hurts no matter where we are, and for many of us, for most of us, we're probably a Venn diagram of all of those, right? As we approach, I doubt anyone's only good and anyone's only bad. There's just a good mix in there. But I think that the principles that come out of the Bible around family can actually encourage and inspire us no matter where we sit on the spectrum. And I've actually been really excited and looking forward to sharing this sermon with you because this sermon is one that kind of came through a little aha moment in my office. I knew that I was going to be preaching about family, and I didn't really know what I wanted to preach. I had no great inspiration. None of the ideas that I had sounded any good to me. And so I was just kind of sitting in my office thinking, and I do, when I don't know what to preach about, I do what I would assume most pastors do or should do, is I just kind of sit down with the Bible and I'm like, all right, God, what does your Bible say about this thing? And I just go through passages or I open up the Bible and I read passages until one catches me and I go, oh, that's the thing. That's what grace needs this week. And then I preach the Bible. And so I wasn't sure what to preach about. And Aaron Gibson happened to be in my office at the time. So he was my guinea pig that morning. And I said, hey, man, I got to preach about family. Here's what I'm thinking. Can you kind of help me make sense of this? Does anything click with you? What should I pursue? And so we started talking back and forth about this idea of family. And I started thinking through, well, how does the Bible address family? Where does it talk about family? And to be honest with you, the Bible is pretty scant in terms of passages that directly address family and tell parents how to parents and kids how to kid and grandparents how to grandparent. Like it doesn't have a lot of that in there. So I'm trying to figure out what is God, what does your word say about family and how does that apply to grace? And Aaron said something that triggered a thought in my head, and as often goes in these conversations when I'm trying to figure out what to preach, and I'm just talking to whoever is closest that I can grab and will listen to me. He said something that triggered a thought, and I started going through scripture in my head, and he was still, he was, he at that point became Charlie Brown's mom. Like, there was words coming out, but I'm looking out the window window and I said, I got it, man. Thanks so much. I'm excited. And so I just thought about family over the course of scripture and what it's supposed to be and what it's supposed to do and how God designed it. So if we look in the Old Testament, where we do have more directives about family, one of the first things we see is that family makes the top 10 list, which is actually pretty cool. It's in the 10 commandments, right? One of the commandments, honor your father and mother and the Lord for this is right. And that commandment looks different for different people at different ages. It looks different for me to honor my parents now than it did when I was 11, and it'll look different in 20 years than it does right now. And it has different implications in different family scenarios, right? Blended families and stuff like that. And so honor your father and mother is this just profound principle that comes out of the Old Testament where God prioritizes it enough to put it in the Ten Commandments. And implicit within that commandment to the parents is, hey, act in a way that's worthy of honor, right? Earn the honor of your children if they're going to be commanded to give it to you. And then there's other places in Scripture. Proverbs has some things to say that if we obey, our parents will live a long and fruitful life and that parents are told to raise a child up in the way they must go and they will not depart from it. So we raise them up by teaching them God's principles. But there is one passage, it's actually two different passages in the same book that say the same thing that really kind of outline for us or show us, depict for us the purpose of family as God intended it. So we can find this in Deuteronomy 6 or Deuteronomy 11. They say the same things. I just like the way Deuteronomy 11 is worded just a little bit better. So I'm going to read that to you now so we can see God's design for family. He's just taught them his law, told them how to live, basically giving them what their version of the Bible was, and this is what he says as a result of it. You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, listen, parents, I just taught you my law. I just shared with you my love and my truth. Now, I want you to put those all over your home. I want you to bind them on your hands. I want you to bind them on your forehead. I want you to write them on your walls. I want you to write them on your doorpost. And I want you to talk about them with your children when you're waking and before you sleep, as you come and you go, as you sit down for mealtimes, talk about my word with your children. And so what we see, and this is a profound thing, what we see is that God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his gospel. God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his love and for his truth. Now, they wouldn't have called it the gospel in the Old Testament, but we call it the gospel. The gospel is the story of the good news of Jesus. It's God's love and God's truth. And we can see from Deuteronomy and from the way the family is structured in the Old Testament that it is God's design for the family, that it would be the primary delivery system of his love and his truth in the life of children as they grow up. That the purpose of family from a spiritual perspective is to create the safe space to incubate the faith of our children so that they can grow up knowing who their God is. And then there's a generational implication in this where we do it for our children and for their children and for the children's children. And there's a responsibility forever to turn around and teach the previous generation the faith that you inherited from your mother and father. That the divine design for families is that a mama and a daddy would impart their faith on their children. You can't overstate how important this is. That our children, listen, if you have kids in your house, listen, that our children would grow up looking at our faith and knowing that this is the faith that they can learn. This is the faith that they can mimic. This is the faith that they can follow. They ought to grow up in our home looking at a godly marriage and knowing this is what I want one day. What I want one day is the way my father loves my mother. What I want one day is the way my mom loves my dad. That's what I want one day. Our kids should grow up in homes and be able to say that. They should grow up in homes where they are discipled, where we parents take it as our responsibility to impart what we know about our faith onto our children. Can I tell you that now that I have two kids, you know what keeps me up at night theologically when I think through difficult questions or truths of scripture or realities of walking with God? Do you know who I'm thinking about when I'm trying to figure those things out for myself? Because it ain't you. It's not my church, it's my children. I want to impart a good faith onto them so that when they enter into adulthood, they have a firm foundation. That they encounter less hiccups than I did. That's our job, parents. Our job in the home is to create a safe space for our kids to grow up where they know that they are loved by their God and by their parents and that their God and their parents are proud of them. We create that incubator in the home so they grow up in this safe space and they have a good family and then they turn around and they do that to their kids. That's clearly the divine design of family in the Bible and it's clearly what our families are supposed to do for us is to be God's delivery system of his grace and truth and love in our lives. We should be able to look at the generations that came before us and see what it is to have a heart for God and walk in that. And grandparents, you're not off the hook, okay? You might be thinking, well, my kids are, that ship has sailed, my kids are grown, they're out, what happened happened, and now we have to live in that reality, and that may be true. But this commandment in Deuteronomy was given to a culture of people that lived intergenerationally. They lived as clans. They lived together. So this isn't just for parents and children. This is for grandparents and adult children and grandchildren. And those of you who have adult kids, can I just tell you something? I don't care how old they are. They'd be 41, like me. They'd be 31 or 21. We still need mamas and daddies, okay? We still need parents. We still need people that we can look at and ask questions to. We still need an older generation that we can be vulnerable with, that can have grace with us, that can watch some of the mistakes that we're about to make and say, hey, hey, brother, I love you. Don't do that. Older generations in this room, my generation, we still need mamas and daddies. You never get too old for that. And those of you who are older than me and you have parents who are still alive, you know you still need them too. And you know you still miss them. This responsibility never fades. It's our job to love on and demonstrate to the generations that come. And my generation, it's going to sound like I'm making jokes because I make jokes because I'm a dummy sometimes, but I'm not making jokes right now. We need to watch people age gracefully so that we know what it is to do that. We need to watch people care for their aging parents so we know how to do that with tenderness and grace when it's our turn. We need to watch how you interact with your adult children who don't make some of the choices you want them to make or who do. We need to see how that's done. We need to watch that. We need that in our lives. And so this family, as the delivery system for God's grace and goodness and truth and instruction in our life, that never fades. And we never graduate out of that need. And now some of you, as I say this, you have good families. You're like these couples that I get to marry sometimes. I do a fair amount of weddings every year, and one of my favorite things that I get to do on occasion within a wedding ceremony is when the couple will talk to me. I always talk to them in premarital counseling about their families, and what was it like growing up in your home? How are your mamas and your daddies and that kind of thing? And every now and again, I'll be working with a couple and they will say, we had great families. We had great parents growing up. I loved growing up in my home. We want our home to look like their home. They were wonderful and yada, yada, yada. And I'll say, well, do you want to honor them in the service? And they're like, yeah, that would be great. And so what I do is after the exchanging of rings, I always pray over the couple. And what we'll do sometimes is we'll surprise the parents and I'll invite them up in the ceremony and I'll have some words written about how they understand that they're standing on shoulders of their parents who gave them this great upbringing and they're so grateful for it and they want to do the same thing in their home. So they want to acknowledge their parents in the wedding ceremony as they create a new family and their parents come up and lay hands on them and I get to pray over all of them. And that's just a sweet moment to see that generational love and faith, to see parents who took this seriously and kids who realize that their parents did that for them. So some of us come from good families. And those of us that do, Jen and I come from great families. We should acknowledge that we were born on third base. We did not hit a triple. God gave us a good set of cards, and we should be grateful for that. So part of today is just encouraging us that we should praise God for our good families. If you come from a good family, if you have a mom and a daddy who took this seriously, who modeled God's love for you and who taught you their faith, will you text them today? Will you call them? Will you tell them that you're grateful for that? Will you acknowledge the goodness that you come from? Because as I talk about this, what a family should do, how God designed the family, how he purposed it, I know that there are plenty of people in this room who feel bad because they weren't that. Who feel angry because my family didn't do this for me. Yeah, that's what a family's supposed to do. That's what a dad's supposed to do. My dad, he walked out that door when I was eight, so I didn't get this, man. I didn't get that idyllic childhood. I'm not looking forward to Christmas. It's going to be tense. It's going to be difficult. Sometimes we have families that let us down. We come to church, and everything's good, and everything smiles, and everybody's buddy-buddy, and behind the scenes, the wife knows and the kids know, he is heck to deal with. The husband knows and the kids know, man, mom's not the same person when she's not at church. Well, we come from broken families. We come from abusive families. We come from addicted families. And we feel like spiritual orphans because we just don't have somebody pouring into us like God designed family to do. And others of us, we had a great family. And then there was the diagnosis. Or the accident. And then there was loss. And we don't have that family that we used to have. We don't have that person to look to like we need to. And so I think the real question becomes, yeah, this is what God designed family to do, to be the divine delivery system of his goodness and his grace and his truth and his love. But for many of us, our families have fallen short of that. So the question becomes, what do we do when our family hasn't done what it's supposed to do? What are we supposed to do when our family has left some gaps? My parents didn't teach me their faith. My dad left. My mom left. My childhood was not good. I love my dad. He taught me faith, but he's gone now, and I don't know who to ask. I love my mom. She taught me faith, but she's gone now, and I don't know who to talk to or who to go to, and I don't know how I'm going to navigate these adult years on my own. What do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? And our situation is less than idyllic. To that question, I began to think about the New Testament. We talked about what the Old Testament has to say about family. What does the New Testament have to say about family? What's the language around family after Jesus comes on the scene? Once Christmas arrives, how does that impact family? And when I thought about the New Testament, I can't think of anywhere in the New Testament that specifically addresses family and family behavior. There's stuff about children honoring parents. There's stuff about gender roles within a family, but there's not anything about family dynamics in the Bible where it's specifically addressed in the New Testament that I'm aware of. But I began to think through the times where family is mentioned in the New Testament. And do you know that most of the time that family is mentioned in the New Testament, it's mentioned as imagery for how the church ought to behave? It's mentioned to help us understand how we, the church, should behave towards each other and begin to understand one another. That most of the family language in the New Testament is not actually about physical family. It's imagery about our spiritual family. I'll show you what I'm talking about so that you know that I'm not making this up. On your notes, there's a list of references there. We're not going to put all of them up on the screen. I just want you to know that if you want to go back and open up your Bible and double check me on this, there you go. There's the footnotes. You can do that. But in Ephesians 2, Paul talks about, he introduces this idea of a spiritual family. He says that we're no longer aliens and sojourners. We're no longer spiritual orphans, but that we are now, we now have membership in this heavenly family. And so he introduces to us this idea of an additional family. And then in 1 Timothy, I like this passage, in 1 Timothy chapter 5, Paul is writing to his disciple Timothy, who he's sent off to Ephesus to be the pastor there, the church in Ephesus, where we see the book of Ephesians. Timothy was the pastor pastor there trained by Paul. And 1 and 2 Timothy are letters of advice to him as he leads this church. And in chapter 5 of the first letter, he says, when you have conflicts with people, let me tell you how I want you to handle it. If you need to confront a man who's older than you, confront him as a father. If you need to talk to a woman who's older than you, confront her as a mother. If you need to talk to a younger man, one of your peers, talk to him as a brother. A younger woman, talk to her as a sister. And so what it tells me as a pastor is that when I talk to you in meetings and conversation, on Sunday morning, when I preach, I preach to you as if I'm preaching to my own family. I treat you like I would my own family. And I do not think that that instruction, though it's not explicit in the text, I do not think that that instruction is limited to just pastors and elders, but all of God's children. That you would regard men who are older than you as fathers, women who are older than you as mothers, and then your peers as brothers and sisters. That we should treat each other as family. And I'm going to get to it in a minute as to why I think this. But I think that is such a profoundly good teaching that we should treat each other like that. Then in Matthew chapter 12, Jesus says this really interesting thing where he's preaching to some people and he's talking with a crowd and somebody kind of cuts through and says, hey, Jesus, your mother and your brothers are here to see you. And Jesus just says, my mother and my brothers are the ones who obey the will of God. Like they're family, this is family too. And then in Galatians, we see Paul again talk about this concept of family and how we've been adopted into God's family and we are heirs to the throne of God. And this is locked in for us most in Romans chapter 8. So I'm going to read this to you here. Romans chapter 8 verses 14 through 17 really tells us a lot about our spiritual family. Paul writes this, for all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. And that really should say sons and daughters of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but have received the spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by whom we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then heirs, we are Christians, and again, to be a Christian, you simply believe that Jesus is who he says he is, that he did what he said he did, and that he's going to do what he says he's going to do. If you believe those things, then the Bible teaches that God has given you the Spirit as a down payment on your salvation in heaven. And what Paul tells us is when we receive the Spirit, then we are adopted into God's family, that we are heirs to God and co-heirs with Christ. We are brothers and sisters, and Christ is our brother. And so as you think through what the New Testament has to say about family, and you try to answer that question, what do we do when my family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? I think we accept the reality from the New Testament that through the gift of Jesus, we also receive the gift of a new supplemental family. And I meant to change that word supplemental to spiritual. But through the gift of Jesus, through the arrival of Christ, once Jesus shows up in the gospels, the Bible starts to talk differently about family. It's God's way of acknowledging, just like he did the rest of the world, yes, I intended for each and every boy and girl who is born to grow up in a family with parents who love them, who teach them about God, who show them God's love, who model for them maturity in their faith, and who surround them with other people and kind of create this incubator, this safe space for kids to grow up where they know they're loved and they know that God is proud of them. Yeah, that's the design. But God also acknowledges that when sin enters the world, things start to break down and the family is not immune from that. And so what do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We take solace in the fact that we are given a new supplemental spiritual family. And this is probably my favorite thing about grace. It's how much grace feels like my family. It's how much when the power goes out, we don't care, we're going to keep singing. Can I just tell you, I wasn't one bit worried. I wasn't like, oh gosh, what are we going to do if the power went out? You know what we're going to do? We're going to cut the fourth song and I was going to come up here and yell at you. That's what we're going to do. And you know what you guys were going to do? You're going to be totally cool with it. Nobody would leave and be like, that place stinks. And if you did, okay. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it. There wasn't one ounce of stress because you guys are family. Because we love each other. Because we show up for each other. And I was thinking about this reality in just mine and Jen's life. Six years ago, we moved away from our families. And though we have great families, that move created a void for us. Lily and John, our kids, they have great grandparents, but they didn't get to see them as often as we'd like. And so you know what God and his goodness did? He put us in a church that has people that are a generation older than us who love us and who love our children and who we consider to be our Raleigh grandparents, who we can call and say, gosh, something came up. Will you come sit with the kids? And they love to do it. We were given, you know what I was given? I think about this a lot, and I don't think those of you who fit into this category, I don't think you know how grateful I am for you. I have a really good dad. But when I came to this church, I was given a bunch of spiritual fathers who are older than me, who have walked through seasons that I haven't, who pour into me, who love me, who advise me, who befriend me, and who encourage me. And it has become my spiritual family. Jen has women in the church who are a generation older than her, who love on her, who we can go to, who we can ask questions to, who have become our Raleigh mamas and daddies. We have brothers and sisters in this church, in our small group, who we walk through the same seasons of life together, and we can lean on each other, and we're not alone. And that spiritual family here doesn't for one second replace our genetic family. It doesn't for one second replace the families that we were born into, but it supplements those families. And sometimes, even in the loss that we've experienced, sometimes we can get such joy out of our church family that just for a second, we don't think about that as much. So I want you to know that in grace you have a faith family. You have brothers and sisters who want to watch out for you. You have mamas and daddies who want to pour into you. There are children in this church who need your love. There are children in this church who need your direction that you can get involved with and turn around and pour into the younger generations. But this church needs to, according to Scripture, operate as a supplemental family that fills in the gaps that are left behind by the families that we were born into. So what do we do if our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We allow the church to be the place that is the primary delivery system of God's love and of God's grace and of God's truth. We're not just the children, but everybody who's here knows that they are loved. They're loved by their brothers and sisters. They're cared for by their brothers and sisters. They are cared for by their spiritual moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas. And that we believe in them and in who God created them to be and in watching them grow up to become those people. And when I say grow up, I don't just mean 10-year-olds becoming 25-year-olds. I mean someone who is 50, but spiritually they're two, and we get to watch them grow into their faith. So first, know that grace is your family. That's what we are here for. Second, as a family, we want to share the love that we have with everybody who comes in here. We want people to feel like family as soon as they walk in the doors. One of my favorite movies at the holiday season is Family Stone. And it's not, I'm not going to get into the plot of it, but one of the underlying themes of that movie, and they don't address it directly, but I think one of the reasons I love it so much is that that family is set up and you can just tell that everybody who walks in that door is loved and everybody they bring home with them is loved too. And I want Grace to feel like that. That everybody who walks in those doors is loved and is part of our family as soon as they wanna be. And everybody that you invite, we're gonna love them too. No matter who they are, no matter where they've been, no matter what they've done, we're gonna love on them. But I know that some of us have families that have let us down. Some of us had families that don't feel the same. Let God's family of faith be your supplemental family that fills in the gaps. And then that way, we can love each other, encourage each other, and continue to push each other towards Christ. And then once we feel that sense of family here, let's look out and see who God is bringing in and love on them too. I'm going to continue to use grace, faith, family in my language moving forward. And this overview of family in the Bible is exactly why I'm going to do that. I'm going to pray and then we've got some instructions for you after the service. Father, we love you. We thank you for being our heavenly Father. God, we thank you for our good families. Those of us that have them, we're so grateful for them. We thank you for good moms and dads that aren't perfect but love you well and love us too. God, I pray for those walking into Christmas who are walking into stressful situations or hurtful situations. I just pray that you would be with them, that they would see you, that they would know that you were loved, that you would show up in those spaces. And God, I pray that grace can be a place that fills in the gaps for those who are a part of us that were left by the families that they were born into. Give us good, rich, deep relationships, God, that push us towards you and that help us grow and help us know that we're loved by those around us and by you. Let us be a faithful family of faith. In Jesus' name, amen.

Good morning, everyone. My name is Kyle. I am the student pastor here at Grace, and I have the honor this morning of being able to close out our time in our series called Powerful Prayers, where we've been looking at different prayers throughout Scripture and waning and pulling out any meaning that we can find in those for ourself and for our life and for our faith. To make a really weird transition, I had this buddy back in the day. I'm not going to say when because I don't want people reading between the lines. It's before I was here, so none of you know. But I had this buddy who was like, I think, ascribing to be an influencer before an influencer existed, like a social media influencer, do we know these? He was so precise on his social media. Like, he didn't post, like, no caption or no tweet was posted until it had lived in, like, on his notes app for, like, two weeks to make sure it was good enough. He had times, like, he literally, he had, like, days and times. I think Sunday night, like, Sunday, like, midnight was kind of his time to post because that was when most people were at home on their computer doing homework and therefore probably scrolling Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. And so there would be the most possible, like it would optimize the amount of likes and comments and all of those things that he would get on his posts. He was very, very precise with those things, even including if his posts didn't do the numbers that he wished that they would have done, if he didn't get quite as many comments or quite as many likes as he would have liked, it bummed him out to the point that he would just delete the post because he's like, well, this is a worthless post, which is a pretty silly and funny thing. But ultimately, what we found is here is this guy who his mission was to create a version of himself that was the best possible version of himself that he could show to the people around him. And his value was placed in the response from other people to that life that he had sculpted and crafted. Now, I don't imagine many of you guys are that precise in these dealings, and so you're like, yeah, cool, whatever. Nice story, Kyle. But let me give you a couple other scenarios. See if they ring a bell, or even if they don't, see if something similar maybe sparks your interest. Your mom, and as your kids are growing up, you're starting to have more days than bad days. You're a dad, and you just can't really seem to figure out why your kids always matter, why you can't control your temper, or why your family can't just be a little bit easier. Your kids can't just be a little bit easier to manage. And you're starting to feel a bit of shame for it because I'm a mom, I'm a dad, it's my identity, that's who I am. And I feel like I'm not doing a good job. And then on top of that, you jump onto Instagram and and here's this other family who their kids have their shirts tucked in. I couldn't pay my kids enough money to tuck their shirts in. And as you see it, and as you see these posts of these families and these moms and these dads who seem to be doing it a lot better than you're doing it based on these pictures or based on small group and what you hear from the other parents in your small group or whatever it might be, you start to just feel shame. You're made to feel lesser than, normally by your own self. You're kind of inflicting shame on yourself because why am I not doing better? Why am I not being better? Or maybe you're looking at the people around in your circle, in your small group, like, gosh, man, they seem to be figuring out this work-life balance way better than I am because this is really difficult for me. It's really hard to navigate marriage while I navigate career. It's really hard watching people at my work who are doing better than I am and accomplishing more than I am and much more quickly moving up the ladder than I am. And this is what I do. This is who I am. And I'm clearly not good enough or not as good as the people around me. And so once again, you just feel shame. You feel less valuable or less valued because of your performance and what you see. Maybe people around you are starting to retire and you're like, what did they do? Why are they so much smarter and w than I am, and I still have to keep working? What's the deal here? Maybe you don't want to give up work because your entire identity is found in it. Who am I if I'm not doing this thing in my life? Here's one. Maybe something in your life has been marked by some sin and some shame in your life. Maybe it's something that was public. You did something wrong. You messed up. And the people around you know it. And you start to get more worried and more worried as you roll up to small group because you know, man, everybody knows. Everybody knows that I did this thing. And I know they can't see past that I've done this thing because I know that I can't see past that I've done this thing. Maybe you start walking around your friend groups and people are looking at you and giving you that gaze that you know, gosh, that is a judgmental gaze and I do not like it. Or they say snide comments because in their minds and in their brains, if they can belittle you, then they can raise and elevate their ego and puff themselves up a bit. Or what I think I see most of all, maybe it doesn't even matter what the people around you's reaction is because you are so crippled by the shame that is inside of you because of something that you do or something that you see that you are or things that are in your heart that you know shouldn't be there. And so it doesn't matter whether anybody shows any judgment towards you or is judgmental in any way because you've already decided you're not going to give yourself any grace and you're just going to walk in shame. And so you start to pull away and you start to disconnect, especially I got to stop going to small group. I can't measure myself up to these people because I just feel shameful and less than. I can't go to church. I can't sit around these people who love the Lord and have a Lord who loves them when I know that the contents of my heart are this or that I've done this and I cannot move past it and I cannot offer myself grace to get past this. That one is exactly what we find in the story of the woman at the well in John 4. The woman at the well is a pretty, like, it's a story that probably a lot of us have heard, but I think one of the difficulties of the woman at the well, or because her shortcomings and her sin are so specific that it's hard to actually find ourselves and place ourselves inside of the story. But ultimately, what we see and how we experience and come to understand why this woman is in the place that she's in is because she was dealing with a shame that was causing her to completely disconnect and to avoid any interaction with anyone. We find her at the well drawing water in the middle and the hottest part of the day by herself. This doesn't happen. Culturally, you don't go to get water in the middle of the day. First, because basically everything that they needed to do around the house and for themselves, they need the fresh water for that day. And so to go later in the day is to not be able to do all of those things up until that point. Second, you don't go in the hottest part of the day because it's the hottest part of the day. You know, like you have to carry those water, I don't know, the water carrying devices, vases, or I don't know what they what they... I don't know. Ashlyn made our wedding registry, so hopefully she knows the name of water-carrying devices and put them on there. I don't know. But nonetheless, vases or bowls or something that you have to carry. And then, I mean, as any of you guys know, as soon as you carry something full of liquid for any amount of time, it is very difficult, especially when it is very hot in the middle of the day. So why is this lady standing here in the middle of the day by herself doing something that every other person has already done in the morning? Culturally, we realize and we find out she's kind of hiding. She's avoiding any possible contact with the people around her because the people around her know her life. They know her sins and they know her shortcomings. And she doesn't want to deal with it. We find out what those are as she begins talking to Jesus. As she goes and he asks for water and as they begin talking, at some point he says, hey, go get your husband. I'd love to meet him. Knowing what he's doing and she says, I actually don't have a husband, I'm not married. And Jesus responds, I know you're not married. You've been married four times, and now this fifth man that you're living with, you're not married to. Essentially, reading between the lines, she has lived a life of promiscuity and adultery. And that unlocks why she's there in the middle of the day. To avoid any possible interaction with somebody who would give her that knowing gaze. Walking up to somebody who might treat her as lesser than because of her sin that she has lived in and is currently living in. Or maybe, maybe it's not even as much about what other people will do, but because she cannot offer herself and all she can think about as she's around anyone is comparing herself to the other people and it's just building up shame inside of her, and so she has just decided to eliminate all possibility of coming across anyone. But there was Jesus. As they talk, and as she kind of, why are you talking to me? I'm a woman. I'm not Jewish. Why are you a Jewish man, why would you talk to me? And his response is, man, if you knew who I was, you would ask me for a drink because I can give you water where you will never thirst again. I can give you a water that will satisfy your soul for eternity. There is no division. There's no Gentile and Jew soon enough. Because soon enough, a time is coming where everyone will be completely united under God's love, being able to be in unity, worshiping God together in his love. And I think she starts to realize who he is. And she says, sir, I've heard tell that there's a Christ who's coming. There's a Messiah who's coming, who's going to make all of this known to us. He's going to tell us how we get to experience this unity, how we get to experience unity under God. And he looks at her and he says, I'm him. I'm the guy. I'm the Messiah that you're talking about. It's an absolutely incredible story. She gets to be one of the first people on the earth to know that this is the Messiah who is coming to unite all people under God by his blood. But I tell you it not just because it's a great story, but because I think it connects really well to something that we find in our prayer that we find in Psalm 139. And that comes at the end of the story. The end of the story, as I read it, I both think, hey, this is great, and I also think, this is weird, and I don't get it. As a response to her recognizing, realizing, and understanding who Jesus is and her interactions with Jesus, she goes back into town and proclaims and exclaims to them. Now, remember, this is the lady who was off by herself getting water in the middle of the day, making sure that she had zero interactions with anyone who lives in her town and in her community because she didn't want to experience the shame of getting or having to experience anybody. But she met Jesus. And so she felt like she could go and talk to these people. That makes sense to me. And half of what she says makes sense to me. She says, could this really be the Messiah? But she doesn't pose the question. She doesn't pose the question because she doesn't go, you know what, guys, I was getting water over here. This dude asked if I wanted to give him a drink. And then he's like, actually, I got a drink for you that will quench your thirst forever. I have this guy who said that through him and by his power, that we are going to be united in God, all one people just glorifying and worshiping God. She doesn't say any of that. She says, while I was getting water, I met this guy who told me everything about my life. Could this be the Messiah? In the joy of exclamation, she brings up, I met this guy who knew everything about me. How does that make sense? Why would a person who is hiding from anybody who could possibly know anything about her life, how could she make a full 180 to now go and find all of those people and exclaim to them, I have met this guy and he knows every part of me. How awesome is this? This guy might be the Messiah. It doesn't make sense to me. And it connects, I think, really well to the beginning of Psalm 139, a prayer to David that also is insane to me and absolutely terrifying. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. All right, here's the gist. David is praying and considers it fully wonderful that God knows every single part of who he is. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want anyone to know that about me. I think if any of you knew what lied on the other side of the Kyle that I present to the world, I think you would like, no one would ever want to be around me again. There is a lot of ugly and a lot of imperfect that comes from that. And not only says that God knows every one of our actions, but he knows every one of our words that has yet to come on our lips. He knows every single thought that we've ever thought. What that means is when we decide that we're going to love on somebody or serve somebody, but it's for selfish ambition, he knows it's for selfish ambition and we're doing it for ourself. He knows that while I completely judge and I do not like this person, yet on the outside I'm going to love them and serve them however best I can, he knows how I really feel about that person in my heart. How can David consider it wonderful for a God who holds our life and our eternity in his hands? How can it be wonderful for that God to know us wholly and completely? Not only that, but verses 7 through 13 basically says, there is nowhere that I can run from you. I cannot hide from you anywhere. How can David find it wonderful? And how can the woman at the well exclaim and find joy in the fact that there is this man, Jesus, and there is this God who knows every single thought, intention, and action in our life? So we press on into David's prayer. And I think we in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God. Verses 1 through 6, you find David pray about how wonderful it is that God would fully and completely know him. In 7 through 13, you find out that there's no place to hide from him, all of which are absolutely terrifying to me. But in 13 through 18 is where you find why it is wonderful. Because God knows this completely because he created us. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. What David is saying is that as God is your child, I have been made and created on purpose. Ephesians 2.10 says we are God's handiwork. Other translations say we are God's workmanship. We are his masterpiece created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Every single one of us were created on purpose. There was intention in our creation. It wasn't random. God created you to be you. He created me to be me. He created us on purpose. He knows us completely. There's nowhere that we could go to hide. And he sent his son to experience the condemnation and the death for our sins that we deserve so that we get to experience an eternal relationship with him. All of that to say that not only as children of God, not only are we holy and completely known by God, but we are wholly and completely loved by God. To me, I see David's joy in a new light. I see complete clarity in the light of David as he declares it as wonderful to be fully known for good and for bad. I see the same in the woman at the well of why she might exclaim joyously that here is a man who knew every part of me. Tim Keller puts it this way. He says, But not be known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our biggest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved, that is what we need more than anything. That's why David was able to find peace knowing that every thought, every desire, and every action in his life, because he was a child of God, no longer, no longer shades God's view of him. Because he is fully loved and created and set apart by God, there's no longer condemnation. There's only love and there's only grace that he gets to experience. He gets to experience being fully known and being fully loved. When you look at the woman at the well. And probably for the first time in a long time, she was able to realize and experience the freedom that comes from not having to anymore be defined by or held back by her past or her present. Because all that mattered now was there's this man who not only talks of this eternity, not only talks of this unity under the Father, under God, but he is telling me, I think, that I get to be a part of it. Me, the person who has to hide from everyone because I cannot deal or bear with the amount of shame that I hold on to, this same woman who is living in utter and complete fear, completely and wholly crippled by shame, had to run down to town to the people she was avoiding, and she had to say, guys, there's this guy who knows all the things you guys know about me, and he, I think, I'm pretty sure, he is offering me the same love that he's offering all of us. Somehow, I get to be a part of this. What if us, as Christians, as children of God, lived in the freedom that she got to experience? Where we weren't always and completely crippled by the fear and anxiety and the shame that is brought on by comparing ourselves to the people around us all the time. What if we weren't defined by the accomplishments that we have or the things that we are trying to figure out? What if we weren't at all defined by anything except for people who are wholly known and wholly loved by God? Can you imagine that freedom? Can you imagine the way that you could treat people and experience life if you weren't held back by your fear and by your anxiety of how people see you or how you're presenting yourself? If you weren't consistently bringing shame upon yourself and couldn't get over the fact that you are the way that you are in certain ways, not realizing that God has forgiven that a long time ago and God created you exactly as he intended to create you? Tim Keller writes separately in a separate book, Jesus took the condemnation we deserve. He faced the trial that should be ours so that we do not have to face any more trials. So I simply need to ask God to accept me because of what the Lord Jesus has done. Jesus took on the condemnation and the trial for us. And so, in light of that, we read on. Listen. Listen. Then the only person whose opinion counts looks at me and he finds me more valuable than all the jewels in the earth. How can we worry about being snubbed now? How can we worry about being ignored now? How can we care that much about what we look like in the mirror now? To continue in my own words, why would we ever place our source of identity, value, or worth into the hands of anything outside of a perfect father's perfect love for us? Who do we think we are to not offer ourselves grace when Christ and God's eternal position in heaven, eternal posture in heaven, is to have grace and forgiveness for you? Who do we think we are that our grace should be more expensive than God's? Who do we think we are that we are not allowing ourselves and offering ourselves the grace that we have already freely been given through the blood of Christ? And when you look at the other people around you, when you look at a mom on social media, when you look at a dad who seems to really be able to just get it with their son, just really be able to play with their kids and connect and all this stuff and you're having a hard time, when you look at the accomplishments of someone else that's around you in your circle, at your work, in your small group, wherever you find yourself comparing your life to the life of another one in order to boost or deflate your ego, here's my question. What comparison can you make that compares to the knowledge that you have been fearfully and wonderfully made by a perfect creator? What comparison can you make to anyone else around you that compares to that knowledge? That you are both fully known and fully loved by the creator of the universe. And through the blood of Christ, you have been set apart for the joy of an eternal relationship with your creator, God. May we today, may we this week, strive to experience the freedom of the woman in the well, the freedom of David who prays and is thankful that a God fully knows him. Offering our self-grace, offering the people around us grace, and only looking at ourselves and the people around us in one light and one light only as people who are completely and wholly known by God and loved by God. And may that be our only distinction for ourselves. Let's pray. Lord, I don't know why it's so hard for us to give ourselves the grace and to find our identity in you, even though you've made it so accessible and so easy to do so. Lord, would you just please lighten up our hearts and allow us maybe for the first time to experience the freedom of having complete certainty in our identity, our worth, and our value in you. And look for it nowhere else. Lord, we love you so much. Amen.