Sermons in the Big Emotions Series

Good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If I haven't gotten a chance to meet you, I'd love to do that. As I always say on holiday weekends, and just want to reiterate for you, God does love you more because you're here in church, especially in the rain. He loves you double today. So good job. If you're watching online from your beach house or wherever, He does not love you the same as he loves the people here. I'm sorry. That's just how it goes. It's in the Bible somewhere. This is the last part in our series called Big Emotions, where we've been looking at blow ups and blow outs in the Bible and learning how God responds to the emotions of his children, learning how God would have us manage and navigate some of our bigger emotions. And as we wrap up the series, I thought it would be appropriate to focus on the big emotions of God, on one of God's biggest emotions. And it's interesting to me that God is the one that tells us this about himself. A lot of the descriptions of God in the Bible are people, the authors of the Bible, telling us who they understand God to be, how they've experienced God. But it's not very often in scripture that God comes out and is interested in describing himself to us and telling us more about him and even especially ascribing emotions to himself. And if I were to ask you, how does God feel about you? What's the first way that he says he feels about you in the Bible? I would be willing to bet, now some of you know, but I would be willing to bet that jealousy is not what you would say first. You probably do know that God is a jealous God. I'm sure you've heard that. But it's interesting to me that God, who holds back so much in describing himself and allows us to kind of pursue him and learn who he is through experience and through others, that it's important to him to come out of the gates and say, I am a jealous God. He says this in Exodus chapter 20, verses 3 through 5. This is what things, but he describes himself as a God. Now he goes on from there and talks about more things, but he describes himself to us as a jealous God. He is, and what he's jealous of is you. He's jealous of your affection, your attention, your devotion. He wants you to be focused on him. God knows that we all wake up in the morning thinking about something. There's something that's driving us. There's something that we want to pursue, and God wants to be the thing that we wake up thinking about. He wants to be the last thing we think about when we put our head on the pillow at night. God is jealous of our affection and devotion. This is interesting to me, not only because it's kind of the attribute that God leads with as he introduces himself to us at the beginning of the story, but it also kind of flies in the face of everything else that the Bible has to say about jealousy. There's a lot of passages about envy and jealousy in the Bible. God typically does not shed a positive light on that. We're not pro-jealousy. We don't raise our children to be jealous. The exact opposite. And so there's a lot of passages that I could go to to say, hey, this is pretty much what the Bible has to say about jealousy. But I found the one that synopsizes it the best for me is in James tells us, there will be disorder and every vile practice, all the corruption, all the greed, all the selfishness, wherever it exists. And yet it exists in God. So how can these things be true? How can we marry God describing himself as a jealous God for us? And also that where jealousy exists, so does every vile practice. Those two things don't seem to line up. And as I thought about it, and thought about what jealousy is, jealousy is wanting someone's attention or devotion for yourself. And it's acknowledging that when we are jealous of something, we place desire on that thing. What occurred to me with the nature of jealousy and why it's good for God to be jealous and it's bad for us to be jealous of other things besides God, is that God's jealousy is rooted in what he wants for you, not from you. God's jealousy for you is rooted in what he wants to see come about for you, not what he wants to get from you. And when we think about the things that we are jealous of, when we think about the things that we give our affection to, we are hoping to get something from them, right? When we pour ourselves into a person, we want that affirmation to come back to us. When we pour ourselves into career, we want the things that come along with that to come back to us. I saw it very clearly this week. The early part of the week, I had an opportunity to go down to Miami and stay in a resort on South Beach, which is, that's where I belong. I mean, that makes sense. I got a great body for that. I got, you know, the $20 Casio watch. I fit right in down there. I was definitely the country mouse. I got a buddy that I didn't just decide to go to Miami. Like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to a resort. I got a buddy that travels for work, and sometimes the company that uses him puts him up in the La Quinta, and other times they put him up at the nicest resort on South Beach and he gets a suite and he says, dude, you should come with me. And I'm like, all right, I'll go free Miami. So I go. And I don't know. Last time I was in Miami was 20 years ago. My grandparents lived down there and it was Boca Raton. I didn't see Miami. But now, I've seen Miami. And that's a whole scene. I don't need to go back to Miami. But as I'm down there, I'm thinking about this sermon, and the things that we're jealous for, and God's jealousy for us. And I'm just looking at this world down there that's different than Raleigh. And thinking about how easy it would be to get caught up in what that place is selling. How easy it would be to live there, to visit there, to look around, to see the yachts in the harbor. And they go, I want one of those. To see the nice watches, the nice jewelry, the beauty, the success, the wealth, the power, the affluence. It costs $300 to rent a circular bed for a day on the edge of the pool. And people paid it. And then they just sat there all day long. That's just dumb money. That's just, hey, look, everybody, I got money. I'm spending it on a lawn chair for the day. A cabana was $3,000. It would be easy to look at that stuff and to say, I want that. And to give that our attention and our affection and our devotion. And to begin to build our life around the inquirement of those things. And now here in Raleigh, in our lives, it's not as in your face. It's not as overt. But suddenly those forces still play on all of us, don't they? We get out of college, we get a job, people around us get promoted. We want to get promoted, so we put our head down and we work hard for that. We get a little older, our friends start getting nicer cars, we want nicer cars. Our friends start taking nicer vacations, we want nicer vacations. Oh, dude bought a lake house? I want a lake house. And we just start to work for it. Or we want someone who's beautiful to tell us that we are. We want someone that we're attracted to to tell us that we are attractive. Or we pour ourselves into learning or into knowledge or into whatever it might be, but we give our affection and our devotion to the things of this world. And we give it to them because of what we want it to do for us. We pour ourselves, we idolize this relationship because this relationship makes me feel secure and whole. So we pour ourselves into it. We pour ourselves into career because from career, I get status, I get power, I get wealth, I get a sense of accomplishment. I get whatever I get. We pour ourselves into family because our family growing up let us down and I don't want to do that for my kids, and so it's my idol. I'm just going to pour myself into being the best parent that I can possibly be at the sake of everything else. And all of those things are, for the most part, good desires and have their place. But when we're jealous for those things, for what the world has to offer us, our affection and devotion is misplaced. See, we give things our affection hoping that they will satisfy our souls. That's why we do it. The things we think about when we wake up in the morning, the next thing on the horizon that we want to accomplish, the way we spend our money and our time, we pour ourselves into those things hoping that they will satisfy our souls. And the thing is, they never do. They never do. It's this empty black hole tunnel that we can pour all we want into it, and our souls will never be truly satisfied. They will always be restless. They will always be wanting. They will always crave more and drive us further. And this gets to, for me, the heart of what it must feel like for God to be jealous for us. I picture it like this, and this is why I say God is jealous for us because of what he wants for us. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular. This is a total hypothetical situation. I do not have a story to go with this, but I was thinking this week trying to understand the jealousy of God as he watches us give our attention and affection to things other than him. I was thinking about a 16, 17-year-old girl and her parents watching that life. And let's assume that she's pretty and that she's charming and that she's smart and that she's capable and that she's ambitious and she's got the world at her fingertips, right? But when she's 16, 17 years old, she meets a boy. And she makes that boy her world. And she wakes up thinking about him and she goes to bed thinking about him. And she begins to make her choices around her affection for this boy and her desire to feel affection from him. The way that she dresses, The color of her hair. Maybe the classes that she chooses in school. What she chooses to be involved with after school. Whether or not she engages in this or that extracurricular or works at this or that place. And then maybe her affection for that boy is so great that she allows that to heavily inform her college decision and she doesn't go to the place where she could have gone. How painful must it be for those parents to watch that girl misplace her affection and devotion and so squander her potential on something that essentially does not matter. Dating is fine. I'm not here to criticize it or critique it. But I will say that for the most part, if you're dating in high school, you ain't getting married to that one, okay? So just relax. Just chill out. If you are going to get married to them, they'll still be there in six years. Like, it's not a big deal. I used to teach high school and do student ministry, and I would tell all the kids, whoever you're dating, you're not going to marry. One of you is going to break up with the other one. It's just going to happen. So conduct yourselves accordingly in the relationship. Every now and again, I'm wrong, and high school sweethearts get married, and that's fine, but to watch your daughter with the world at her fingertips, to squander away that potential because of affection for a boy must be a uniquely painful thing. To watch a son who's incredibly capable, who has the world at his fingertips, to squander that potential on a girl or on something else that doesn't matter, that takes his attention off of what he could do and who he could be, has got to be a pretty painful thing for a parent to walk through, to see your hopes and dreams of this child and to see what they're capable of and to watch them squander that on something that doesn't matter and will not return the affection that they need. That's what it must be like for God to watch us fritter our lives away on things that don't matter. That's what it must be like for our Father in Heaven to watch us as we put our head down and just think about career and wealth and money and status. As we make the next God in our life the beach house or the promotion or the job or the company. As we make the God in our life our marriage. shepherd their daughter through the season. I think you would want to ask the question, what is actually worth our primary affection? Mom, dad, where would you have her put her affection and devotion? What do you want her waking up thinking about? School? Class? Job? Building a resume? What do you want her thinking about? And then for us, what is it that we should wake up thinking about? What is it that should be most important to us? I would contend and direct us to the Bible telling us so, that only God can satisfy our souls. If we're to say, what is worthy of that girl's affection and devotion? What is worthy of her life's pursuit? God alone would say, I am. Because in me she will find satisfaction. In me she, she will find affirmation. In me, she will find love. In me, she will find identity. In me, she will find what she needs. I will be enough for her. In God, you will find affection. In God, you will find affirmation. In God, you will finally feel like you are enough. In God, you will finally see your identity and know who you are and what he created you to do and be. In God, you will find the affection that he lavishes on you so that you can lavish it onto others. In God, you will find the love that allows you to be the spouse that you've always wanted to be. In God, you will find the affection that you need to pour out on your kids when they need it the most. In God, we find all we need for all the other things. In God, our restless souls finally find rest. I think that's part of what Jesus was talking about when he says this in Matthew chapter 11. He says, God is jealous for us, for our affection and our devotion because he knows that it is only in him that our restless souls can rest. He knows it is only in him that our greatest needs can be met. So our God is a jealous God, not because of what he wants from you, but because of what he wants for you. And what God wants for you is for your soul to rest. What God wants for you is found in Psalm 1611. At his right hand there are pleasures forevermore. In his presence there is fullness of joy. What God wants for you is John 10.10 that you might have life and have it to the full. What God wants for you is that you would know what love is and it abounds so much that you never have to question yourself or your identity ever again. What God wants for you is for you to be a conduit of his grace and love and affection from him onto others. And so God is jealous for you. When he sees you prioritizing things in your life over and above him, when he knows you're waking up thinking about things that are not things of God, that are not him, that are not in your life because of him. When he knows that you go to bed thinking about things that are not in your life from God, that are not there because of him, he's jealous for you. Not because he's petty and envious and he somehow needs your attention. No, he sees you squandering your affection and devotion on things that cannot satisfy your soul. So he's jealous for you for your sake so that you can be who he created you to be, so that you can experience the love that he created you to experience, and so you can express the love that he created you to express. So when we think of our God and we say that he is a jealous God, it's important to me that we understand that jealousy not to be petty jealousy like we have where we want something from the object of our affection. No, no. It's an altruistic jealousy where he knows he is the only worthy object of your affection and devotion. And when we offer it to him, everything else falls into place. He's jealous for you because he wants you to find rest in him. As we have a day off tomorrow with our families or our friends, I hope that we'll take part of today and part of tomorrow in rest and reflect on what we have been jealous of. Reflect on where we have placed our affection and our devotion. And maybe let's take this holiday weekend to recalibrate and place our affection and devotion back on God and the things of God because he is jealous for us, for our sakes. Let's pray. Father, thank you for being jealous for us. Thank you for wanting what's best for us. I pray, God, that we would see you as the only thing that is worthy of our life's devotion. May our souls find satisfaction and rest in you. May we be encouraged by you. May we feel loved and seen by you. God, I am the most guilty of placing my priorities on other things, of seeing the shiny thing and chasing after it, of waking up and thinking about myriad things, of seeing the shiny thing and chasing after it, of waking up and thinking about myriad things that are not related to my devotion to you. And so, God, I pray for my brothers and sisters who might be like me, that we would recalibrate this weekend, that we would slow down and make you the object of our affection. Thank you for being a jealous God. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If I hadn't gotten a chance to meet you, I would love to do that in the lobby after the service. We've been moving through a series called Big Emotions. This is part six of the series. And within this series, as we kind of planned it, I realized that we needed to have a morning like this morning where we talk about some of the heavier, harder emotions that we can experience in life. In the past just few months, I had a lunch with a young man who was and is a recovering alcoholic, and actually today is his one-year sober anniversary, so we're excited for him today. Yeah, he's not here. That's okay. He didn't hear how much you didn't, how tepid that was. If he were here, I would have. But we're thrilled about that. And he shared with me as I talked with him about a story that part of what led him down that path is dealing with a depression. This creeping sense that he wasn't going to be who everyone expected him to be and who he was. And it was this feeling of not mattering anymore, of not living up to things that sent him into a depression that caused him to seek out some help for that from chemicals. In the past couple months, I've talked with two different dads in our community whose daughters are struggling mightily with depression. You could even call it a crippling depression. And one of them even shared with me that he's learned through her struggle that that's what he's always dealt with. He just never had the words to put around what he was feeling, or it's entirely possible because men are stupid, that he just didn't allow himself to admit that he was sad because we're too manly for that. I've sat with people in the wake of great loss. Sat with a family, and I won't detail the struggles, but they just kind of, life just keeps running them ashore, man. Life just keeps beating them up. I get texts from them, and I'm like, God, you've got to be kidding me with what they're having to walk through, and I'm certain. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact that some of them are staving off bouts of depression and anxiety and deep grief and deep sadness. In my own family, on both my side and Jen's side, Jen's my wife, on both my side and Jen's side, we have depression in our family. We're walking through it. Sometimes it's harder than other times. Sometimes it's more extreme than other cases, but it touches us and it touches our lives too. And I know that each of us deals with or loves someone who deals with depression, grief, melancholy, sadness from time to time, these seasons in life that just feel dark and heavy. And I also know that many more of us deal with feelings of insignificance, like we don't matter. I know firsthand that being, because of walking through it with my wife, that being a stay-at-home mom can make you feel very small. It can make your world feel very inconsequential, that all you are is the nursemaid for a toddler or a shuttle service for your kids or whatever it might be. Being a parent can sometimes make your world feel very small. As you age, sometimes your world can start to feel smaller and smaller and the things you do less and less significant. And some of us have gone from seasons of mattering a great deal to mattering not very much. Some of us have gone from having great identities that we are proud of to these small identities that we kind of wander in and aren't used to yet. And so I know that in our family of faith, in our congregation, in this room, and the people watching online, the people who will hear this later, all of us have dealt with personally or love someone dearly who struggles with bouts of depression, with grief, with sadness, with loss, or even insignificance. And so I thought it was absolutely appropriate to take a Sunday while we talk about big emotions and talk about these. And I thought it would be really helpful for us as we identify with that sadness, with that grief, with that inadequacy, to look at someone in the Bible who also dealt with that and to see how God meets him in this place. So we're going to look at just a part of the story of a prophet named Elijah. Now, many of you were not here years ago when I did a whole series in the summer on Elijah, or if you were here, you were probably at the beach and didn't hear it. So some of this stuff will be reviewed, but maybe not much. I'm not going to tell you the whole story of the life of the prophet of Elijah, but he is one of God's, as Aaron said in the announcements, one of God's great servants. Elijah was so great. In fact, I'm not sure I need to tell you anything else about his life, but at the end of his life, as he was aging and the end was near, he's walking with his disciple, Elisha, and on the west bank of the Jordan River and Elijah decides that he needs to go to the eastern bank of the Jordan River and so he just parts the waters and walks across it like this miracle of convenience. Like the ark stopped the Jordan River so that God himself could move into the promised land with his people and then Moses parted the waters so that God's people could escape from the Pharaoh. And Elijah parted the water so that his sandals wouldn't get wet. That's just okay. He just puts his cloak in the water, parts it, walks through, come on, Elisha, and then they go through. And when they get on the other side, a chariot descends down out of heaven. An angelic chariot comes down and scoops Elijah up and takes him to heaven. Dude was so righteous, he caught an Uber ride to the pearly gates because God didn't want him to experience death. We see Elijah again in the New Testament at the Mount of Transfiguration when he appears along with Moses to Jesus to strengthen him and encourage him. He's a major figure in the Old Testament and a hero of the faith. And when I say it's difficult for anyone to get closer to God than Elijah was, I mean it literally because all of us in here are very likely going to experience death. He did not have to. And yet, in his life, we see pretty convincing evidence that at least in this season, Elijah was low. He struggled mightily with depression and insignificance. And so I think it's worth looking at this part of his story and seeing how God responds there. The part of the story that I'm going to present to you is somewhere, I would guess, about 45 to 50 days of his life. So I'm not even sure you could call it a season. It was just a time of his life when he was low. We don't know if there were other times or not. One would assume that there were. But here we get just a snippet or a snapshot of Elijah's, what I believe to be, depression, at least in this season. We're going to be looking, and not yet, but if you have a Bible, you can turn there. 1 Kings chapter 19. If you don't have one, there's one in the seat back in front of you. Unless you're watching from home, I don't know what's in your seat backs. But in 1 Kings chapter 18 is the big showdown, the big thing that Elijah's famous for, the showdown with the prophets of Baal. And I don't have time to give the full treatment to the story. I wish I did because it's a fantastic story and you should really read it. But the predominant religion at this time was worshiping this God named Baal. The king was Ahab, the queen was Jezebel. They were evil and they supported this idol worship. The followers of God were pressed into the margins and the fringes. And Elijah was by all accounts, essentially the chief priest for God at the time and the head prophet. And so he goes to Mount Carmel and he has this showdown with the prophets of Baal. There's 450 prophets of Baal. And they make this deal that they're each going to build an altar. And whichever God from heaven itself lights the altars on fire first, that's the best God. And the other one has to take his ball and go home. And so they start this competition. And Elijah, I just have to point out, he says one of the best lines in the Bible. He is a sarcastic jerk, which breathed life into me from God himself. And Baal is not responding and lighting the altar on fire. And he's making fun of them. Maybe you should yell louder, yada, yada. And at. And at one point, he's like, maybe he can't hear you because he's in his heavenly bathroom taking a Tuesdays. Maybe that's what's going on, which is phenomenal. It's the kind of stuff you get here at Grace Riley. And after they give up, Elijah prays this humble prayer. God, it's time. God sends fire from heaven, lights the altar on fire, and Elijah has all 450 prophets arrested and put to death. After this, the beginning of chapter 19, Elijah's praying. There had been a drought for three years in Israel, and God told Elijah that the drought's going to be over. Get ready for rain. And then swept Elijah with the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God sweeps Elijah to Jerusalem. So he beats Ahab's chariot back to Jerusalem. When Ahab, the king, gets to Jerusalem, he goes to Jezebel, the queen, and he tells Jezebel all that Elijah has done. She responds by sending a messenger to Elijah that says, everything that you did to my prophets, I'm going to do to you, and it's going to be worse. I'm going to kill you. And this is interesting because a couple chapters later in 2 Kings chapter 1, she tries to send soldiers to kill Elijah. And Elijah says, I'm a man of God, and if you try to arrest me, then he's going to send fire and kill you. And then they do, and then he does. Three times. Dude has nothing to be scared of. He has the protection of God on his head. He has the hand of God on him. But when the messenger reaches Elijah this time and says, Jezebel's wants to kill him. And in fear, he flees a day into the wilderness. He gets done with that day and he sits down and he prays a prayer that I hope none of us have prayed, but I bet some of us have. God, it would be better if I were dead. Please take my life. I'm done. I'm no better than my father's. I have nothing left to give. I'm exhausted. I did this great miracle in your name, won a great victory, and it's like it doesn't matter. She's going to kill me. Do you understand that he was despaired to his point of death? He was despairing for his life. Do you understand that he went to sleep under that broom tree, that he closed his eyes praying, God, please don't let me wake up? You understand that when Elijah's eyes were opened that he was disappointed? I don't know if you have ever gone to sleep and before you went to sleep, you prayed, God, please don't let me wake up on this side of eternity. But I bet some of you have. I bet we know people who have felt what Elijah felt. God, I'm going to sleep and I don't want to wake up. This world has nothing left for me. I don't want to be here. No one cares about me. I don't matter. This needs to be over. It would be better off if I were in eternity than here any longer. Please don't let me wake up when I go to sleep, God. Elijah is despairing unto death. And is at, by all estimations, a very low point. But God wakes him up. He wakes him up with an angel who feeds him, gives him food. I love that that's God's response to the dark night of the soul. Like a loving divine grandma. Here, just eat a little something. You'll feel better after some cookies. Elijah goes back to sleep. The angel wakes him up again. Says, you're going to need this for your journey. You're going to Mount Horeb. So he eats and he travels 40 days to Mount Horeb. And God tells him when he gets there, go up into this cave. I'm going to talk to you there. And when he gets up to the cave, God speaks to him and he says, Elijah, what are you doing? And Elijah says, my part. I've served you well. I've done everything I'm supposed to do. And they've killed all my friends. They've killed all my companions. I, even I, only am left. There is no one left in Israel like me. I am totally alone, God. I have no friends. I have no family. I have no companions. I have no love. I have no camaraderie. I'm alone and I'm destitute and nobody cares about me anymore, God. This time when I go to sleep, can I please just not wake up? I'm done. This is an articulation of the lowest of lows in his life. I, even I only, am left. I have no friends. I have no family. I have no companions. It's just me, and I'm tired. And God says, I'm going to speak to you again. And it's this remarkable passage where Elijah is sitting in the cave on the side of this mountain. And the text tells us that there's this great earthquake and the ground shakes and the stones tremble and the trees shake. And you think surely that God's voice is in the earthquake, but he's not in the earthquake. And then God sends this fire by the mouth of the cave that consumes everything in its path, and you think, surely God is in the fire, and he's not in the fire. And he sends a mighty wind that shakes and vibrates and stirs and scares, and you think, surely God is in the wind, and he's not in the wind. And then scripture says there's a gentle whisper and God is in the whisper. And Elijah goes out to the mouth of the cave and God says, what are you doing, Elijah? And Elijah gives the exact same response in verses 14, in verse 14 that he did in verse 10. I've been very jealous for you. I've served you well. And I've put all my friends to the sword, and I, even I only, am left. And God hears him. And he says, I want you to go do something for me. I want you to go appoint this man and this man kings of their different areas. I've still got stuff for you to do. Go make them kings. And when you do, here's what's going to happen. Now go. And on his way to go do that, he comes across a man plowing in his field named Elisha. And he grabs Elisha and he says, I'm going to essentially make you my disciple. Come and follow me. I'm going to teach you to be a prophet like I'm a prophet. And Elisha goes and tells his parents that he's leaving and he leaves and he goes with Elijah. And he spends the rest of his life following Elijah. And when Elijah goes up into heaven on the chariot, his cloak wafts back down to Elisha, and Elisha receives a double portion of the Holy Spirit that Elijah had, and outperforms Elijah in miracles and in all the other things, has a greater ministry than Elijah did. And it can be argued that Elisha is probably the greater impact than defeating the prophets of Baal, that Elisha may have been Elijah's greatest work. But without question, in this 45 to 50 day period, we see one of the great servants of God at a low point in his life. We see him despair unto death. We see him go to sleep and not want to wake up. We see him express solitude and isolation, feeling completely alone and wanting to die. We see him despairing. What we see, I think, at least for this season, is a depression. And if you look at what he says, and if we think about what we've experienced when we've been low, then what we understand is that depression silently screams, you don't matter. Depression silently screams at you that you don't matter, that nothing you do matters. Look at what Elijah says the first time. I'm the only one left. I did everything you wanted me to do. Now they're going to kill me, and I'd rather just die I'm no better than my father's. I have nothing left to give God. My best days are behind me. I have no bigger miracles to work. I've done everything I can do. All that's left is waiting for death. Please just go ahead and take me. And it occurs to me as I reflect on Elijah voicing in that way that he felt like he no longer mattered. That one of the great strengths of grace is having a generationally diverse congregation. I love that about our church. And what I'm about to say is in no way a joke. This is not a time for stupid jokes. I'm not doing that. It occurs to me that a large portion of us, a large portion of you, you've reached the end of your career, the last portions of your career. You've ended your career and you're in retirement. You've raised your kids. Maybe you've even helped raise your grandkids. In your mind, you've shifted. I've seen the shift in men and women that I love. From wanting to build a name for yourself to thinking about what kind of name you're leaving behind. You've shifted from establishment to legacy. And you've accepted that you are in the twilight of your life. And I think it would be very easy to become convinced in that season that your best days are behind you, that you've done the great work that you're going to do. You've climbed the biggest mountain that you're going to climb. You've defeated more prophets then than you ever will in the future. I think it would be very difficult to have lived a life where in one setting you were important. Your voice mattered. People came to you for your opinion. They paid a fair amount of money for your time to a place where people don't come as much anymore and they don't ask as much anymore and your voice isn't as weighty as it used to be and you become convinced that my best days are behind me and if we're not careful, we can slip into, as Elijah did, just kind of waiting for the last day to get here because I have nothing left to give. And so I think in that way, even if we're not people who are depressed, we can hear that message of the world and that message of depression creeping into our hearts. Hey, you don't matter. Your best days are behind you. Or we can feel insignificant for other reasons. Our role in life right now reduces us. We have a thankless job and a somewhat thankless marriage with thankless kids, and we just feel small, and no one tells us that we're good enough, and no one tells us that they respect us, and no one tells us that they're grateful for us. We can move through seasons of life where we just feel like we're going through the motions, and we feel so insignificant and small. I know firsthand that when I preach sermons about God having a purpose for us, God having a use for us, when I quote one of my favorite verses, Ephesians 2.10, for we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, that we might walk in them. And I encourage you guys, identify your good works and walk in them. I know that there's a large portion of you that hear that and go, yes, that's good. I have no idea what my good works are. I have no idea how God gifted me. God's gifted other people to do other things, but he has not gifted me in any significant way. So the best thing I can do is just keep my head down and be nice because I don't really matter that much in God's kingdom. That's what Elijah was saying. I, even I only, am left. I don't matter. There's nothing around me that's important. And I talked with some friends of mine who deal with depression more than I do. Candidly, this is not something that I'm given to struggle with. I have other struggles, and I'm pretty transparent with you about those. For this one, I had to outsource a lot of it. So this idea that depression silently screams at us that we don't matter, that's not my idea. That came from someone who walks it. And then I called someone else who probably deals with depression in a little bit more profound way, and I said, hey, does this check out with you? If I say that depression insists that we don't matter, does that resonate? And he said, yeah, but it's worse than that. He says, my depression tells me that it doesn't matter, that nothing matters, let alone me. And so if you've ever sat in that place, or you've loved someone who sits in that place, when we start to listen to the voices that tell us that we don't matter, I think God's response to Elijah when he was giving into those voices should breathe some fresh air into our lungs. And here's what God does to Elijah. We go back through the story. Here's what we see him doing. God strengthens, whispers to, sends, and encourages Elijah. And I think all of those things are important. He strengthens Elijah. He whispers to Elijah. He sends Elijah. And then he finally encourages Elijah. He strengthens him. He literally wakes him up and gives him food. You're going to need this for your journey. He literally wakes him up again and gives him some food. You're going to need this for your journey. Eat up. He strengthens him. He gives him enough to get through the day. Whatever you need to get through today, God gives that to you to sustain you. That's the daily bread. That's the manna. That's the daily sustenance of God showing up and sustaining you for today. I shared with you a few weeks back that I was reading the Beth Moore biography, and she encountered her mother-in-law had walked through a tremendous trial, and she said, how do you do it? How did you giving me strength for that day. I'm reminded of this famous passage in Isaiah Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. God will sustain us if we trust him to do it. He will strengthen us in the darkest of days when it's so dark and so heavy and so cloudy that we can't see a glimmer of light or a glimmer of hope. God, if we have within us one ounce that is willing to reach out to God and ask him for that day, he will sustain you that day. He will whisper to you. I love that we have a God that speaks to us in the whisper. In the most unexpected places, in the most unexpected ways, God shows up with his presence. A few weeks ago in men's Bible study, one of the guys shared his story. He's a little bit older now, late 50s, early 60s, than he was when this happened. But at some point in his life, I'm not sure when, but he lost his wife. Lost his wife to breast cancer. I can't imagine the pain of losing a spouse or a child. Losing a parent is hard. But I bet losing a spouse or a child is harder. I used to work at a school years ago and there was this woman named Emmeline McKinnon who founded the school. Wonderful lady, everybody loved her. A few years ago, she passed away from cancer, and her husband, in his grief, took his own life too, a few days later. And to anyone with a heart, when they hear that story, I think they say, I get that. They loved each other for 60 years. How do you keep opening up your eyes after that? So understand it. I empathize with it. And I don't condemn it. And my friend was walking through that grief. Did not have kids. No one was relying on him. He was in the depths of sadness. And so he made the decision that he was going to go to heaven to be with her because he didn't want to be here. He went and acquired whatever it was he needed to acquire to put together a cocktail so that when he drank it, he would be in heaven with his wife. He went home, put it in the blender, started to mix it up. As the blender was going, the phone rang. So he stops it. He answers the phone. The person on the other end says, hey, is this so-and-so? He says, yeah, who's this? And he says, well, I'm Dr. So-and-so. I was your wife's optometrist. And my buddy said, I haven't heard from you in years. How you doing? And he said, I'm doing good. I just wanted to call you and tell you how special your wife was and how sorry I am for your loss. And my buddy said, well, thanks. I appreciate that. He said, how are you doing with it? And he lied, and he said, I'm doing fine. The way you're supposed to lie in polite society. And the doctor said, hey, I don't know if you're a religious man, but I am. And I feel like I need to tell you that God has been really pressing on me to call you. He's been doing it for a couple of weeks, and I'm sorry, I'm the worst. I've been putting it off. Every time he presses on me to call you, I kind of have something else pressing, and I think, yep, I need to do that, and I set it aside, and I mean to do it later. He said, but about five minutes ago, I felt the press again. And I was in the middle of doing paperwork, and I tried to put it off, but God would not let me put it off. He would not relent, and I just really felt like I needed to call you. So how are you doing? And my buddy really told him how he was doing and what he was up to that day. And they cried together and prayed together. And my buddy dumped it down the drain. Lived to remarry, to love nieces and nephews, and to sit in that circle and tell us that story. God whispered to him that day. So not only will God whisper to you, but sometimes he'll use you to whisper as well. When he's prompting you to do it. Do it. And then, God doesn't just whisper to Elijah. He sends him. And I love the matter-of-factness of God sending him. Because it's like, Elijah, listen, I can see that you're clearly bummed out, but I've got some things I need to do. There's some guys who need to be named king. They don't have kings right now. They need to be anointed. So I need you to get back to work. Go appoint these kings. He sends them. He says, I'm not done with you yet. I know you feel like you're done because you finished this thing with the prophets of Baal, and now there's nothing left to do. There's stuff to do, Elijah, and I need you to get to it. And I was actually talking with my dad this week. I wouldn't call it arguing. We weren't arguing. We were just kind of going back and forth, as we are wont to do, about what the greatest work was in Elijah's life. Was it the prophets of Baal? Or was it the training and developing of Elisha and leaving him behind as a legacy? Which one was bigger? And in the middle of the discussion, I said, Dad, this is really a stupid conversation. Which usually he's the one that gets to do that. So I was happy to be the one that got to do it this time. This is a really stupid conversation. And I just pointed out to him, the size of our works don't matter nearly as much as the faithfulness of our works. Who cares if the miracle with Baal was the bigger deal than anointing a king or naming a successor or raising someone's son from the dead? Who cares what the bigger miracle was, the size of the work, the grandeur of the work, the import of the work? Who cares if that's bigger than what's left? For those of us who maybe our best years are behind us, maybe the biggest thing we've done is behind us. Maybe the most important thing you think you'll do from a human perspective is already in your past and not as big of things are waiting on you in your future. I think that's silly. God could care less about the size of our work. Like God's impressed with the size of any work. What matters is our faithfulness within the works that he gives us for as many years as he gives us. Here's how I know it's true. I know that you guys would support me in this. Right now, there's probably about 200 people here this Sunday morning. If next week you snapped your fingers and you made grace 2,000 people? Would my work next week in preaching be any more impactful, any more great, any more important to God? Would I somehow be more spiritual next week preaching to 2,000 people than I am this week preaching to 200? Would I somehow be more faithful or more loved next week preaching to 2,000 people than I am faithful or loved in preaching to you today? No! It's stupid. The size of our work is irrelevant. It's our faithfulness within what he gives us. What lies ahead of you is not insignificant if God has placed it there. What's significant is your faithfulness as you are obedient to that. And after he sends Elijah, he encourages him. He peels back the curtain a little bit. And he says, hey, I know you think you're the last one here. There's 7,000 more just like you. I've kept them for myself. They have not been the need of bail. You're not alone. You have companions. You have friends. And I see you. And I'm not expecting you to carry all this weight. Now go do what I've asked you to do. What we see in the story of Elijah. If depression says, you don't matter, and if Elijah's expressing, God, I don't matter, and I am alone, then what God says in the strengthening and in the whispering and in the sending and the encouraging from a megaphone is, Elijah, you matter, you matter, you matter, you matter. I see you. I know you. I love you. What you're doing is important. And what he says to us and what he says to you and what I hope you hear is that you matter. Look, the love of God drowns out other voices and gently reminds you of how much you matter. The love of God and the strengthening and in the whispering and in the sending and the purposing and in the encouraging remind you in these subtle ways, I know life is hard. You matter. I know you feel insignificant. You matter. I know the world is trying to convince you that you don't matter, but I'm telling you that you do. Sorry, it's been an emotional week for me. One of the people I reached out to shared with me that he'll walk through really dark depression for months and sometimes a year at a time. And as I was walking through with him what I wanted to share, I admitted my own feelings of inadequacy to even address what it's like to actually be deeply depressed. Because I know that there's some depression that words don't touch. It just doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter what I pray. It doesn't matter how I encourage. There's just some depression that you walk through that's so dark and so difficult that words don't touch it and arrest you from it. And so I said, in your greatest times of trial, what helped you? And as I even admit the own inadequacy of my words to you, what can I say to help you? And he said, let me write you an email because I'm better with my thoughts like that. And he responded with some very helpful things, but one thing he said was so profound that I thought I wanted to share it with you this morning. He wrote me this. Solitude and isolation are freedom. They're the ability to define you as you wish because there's no consequence to any decision you can make. If you decide to surrender, there's no consequence. Your story ends and nobody else is there to see. Nobody else is there to care. Nobody else is there to respond. The profundity of that struck me as I read it in my office. That when you are deeply depressed and you are convinced that it doesn't matter and that you don't matter, that you are all alone and no one sees you. That you're isolated. In your solitude. But then that is freedom because you can do whatever you want and no one's going to care. And I thought, my gosh. That's a low place. But then he said, but it's because of, and this is a paraphrase, we have a conversation preceding this to help me understand that what he meant in our language is that because of the cross, because I know Jesus died for me, because I know God made promises to me. Because I know I matter enough to God for him to send his son. He said this, because it means, because of the cross, it means that there is no way not to be seen. There is no situation in which you are finally, truly, absolutely alone. You understand the cross stands eternally reminding you of how much you matter, that in the depths of not mattering, in the depths of despair, in the depths of I'm not important and I don't matter to anyone and no one sees me and no one cares about me and it might just be better if I weren't here, that even in the depths of that, that God sent his son to die for you, to claim you back to him. And before you say, no, he did that for other people. No, no, he did that for you. If you're the only person on this earth, he still would have sent his son to die for you, to reclaim you to the heaven that he created for you. And if we will cling to the cross, to the glimmer of light that shines through the millennia, we can take hope and solace in the fact that there's going to be a day where depression doesn't exist and where the darkness goes away and every day is bright and filled with joy. And I might not get to experience those here today, right now, but I will one day. And if I cling to that cross, God's promised that I matter, that there will be days where this will let up, where I will see joy, where I will live in the fullness of life, but even if it doesn't come, there's an eternity where I'll see that every day. We sang a few minutes ago that you're fighting a battle that I've already won. I'm fighting a battle that you've already won. This is the battle, and it was won on the cross. So let God strengthen you today. Let him whisper to you today. And hear me say that you matter to your God. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for your son. Thank you for who he is. We thank you for loving us. Lord, I lift up those that feel sad or depressed or insignificant or unwanted or unwarranted. God, it is my fervent prayer that they would be strengthened today. That they would get enough from today to keep clinging to you. God, for those we love who live in a cloud of darkness from time to time, we pray that you would use us to help them brighten it. God, we pray for the days ahead that you promised through your son, that you won through his death on the cross. Where in your presence we finally at long last experience fullness of joy. God, I pray for my brothers and sisters who are sad and who are downtrodden and ask that you would pick them up, that they would know today that you love them, that you care for them, that more than anything, they matter deeply to you. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right, well, good morning. Good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If I hadn't gotten the chance to meet you, I'd love to do that in the lobby after the service. Now's not a good time. I'm busy. Happy Mother's Day for those to whom it applies. As we were singing that last song, I see the evidence of your goodness all over my life. I think that's an excellent song for Mother's Day. I think about my wife, who's an incredible mother. I think about the mom that I got to grow up with. I think about the kids that we have and share together and see God's evidence, the evidence of God's goodness all over my life. And hopefully for Mother's Day, that's something that you get to reminisce and think about too. Hopefully you have a great mom. Hopefully you've gotten to experience being a mom if that's something that you want to experience. But I also know that for others, Mother's Day is hard. We had a lot of hard Mother's Days when we wanted the gift of children and we didn't have it yet. And so I always like to just acknowledge that and pray in gratitude for good moms, for good memories, for the blessing of motherhood, but also pray for strengthening for those for whom Mother's Day is difficult for myriad reasons. So if you'll join me in prayer, I'll pray, and then we'll dive into the sermon. Father, we're grateful for good moms, moms that love us,oms that love us enough to get on to us, to keep after us, to not give in. Moms who wake up in the night with us. Moms who are always there, who leave notes in our lunches and who pray with us every morning. We thank you for moms that we've seen read your word and seek you diligently. We thank you for moms who raised us to help see you. And God, we thank you for the gift of motherhood and parenthood. And those of us who have children, God, are so grateful that you've given us that gift. And so we pray that we would be the mom and the dad to them that we need to be. God, also lift up those for whom holidays like this are difficult. Maybe it's difficult because their mom's not here anymore, and that's hard. Maybe it's difficult because they want to be a mom and they're not. And that's hard. Maybe it's difficult, God, because we thought we were going to be a mom and then we weren't. So, Lord, I pray just for special strength, protection, grace, and peace onto those folks. And that, God, those of us who feel blessed by today would see you as the author of that blessing. In Jesus' name, amen. So this is part five of our series called Big Emotions, where we're just kind of looking at different stories and instances in the Bible where we see these emotional flare-ups, these blow-ups and these blow-outs, and kind of just ask, what can we learn from that? Because this blowing up is a very part, it's a part of the human existence. It's something that we all experience. And so earlier in the series, we talked about, I talked about Peter cutting off the ear of one of the soldiers in the garden, and I kind of compared that to when we lash out at people. We just get angry, and we lash out, we're cutting off ears, and we should try to cut off less ears. And we talked about what can we do when we feel like lashing out. And so I thought it would be good to look at the other end of that and say, what do we do when we're the one whose ear just got cut off? What do we do when someone lashes out at us? So the question for today is, what should you do when someone blows up on you? When you are on the receiving end of unwarranted anger, of unjust frustration, of unfair lashing out, what should you do when someone blows up on you? And I thought that this would be appropriate for Mother's Day because what is being a mom if not getting blown up at eight times a day because you had the audacity to suggest that now might be a good time to brush your hair or not wear Crocs with a church dress or not get out of bed at 630 to make Mother's Day breakfast. Not that any of those things happen in our home, but with your children who are less good than ours, I'm sure that they blow up at you. And I can only imagine, you know, right now we've got a seven-year-old daughter. John is two. He doesn't really know how to blow up at anybody. He just clenches his fist really tight and you can just hear, he screams and you can just see this visceral anger coming from him, which is great. And, but Lily knows how to blow up. She's seven, but they're seven-year-old blowups, you know, like they're not, they don't really sting a little. I bet the 17-year-old blowups are rough. I bet those, I'm not looking forward to those. And then something tells me that the older your children get, the worse those instances become. And I also know that on the other end of the spectrum, I've talked with enough people, with aging parents, that sometimes as parents get older and older, their filter is just used up. It's just used up. They don't have a new one. There's no replacement. You can't get one from Amazon. It's just gunked up and they've tossed it aside. And they can say things that aren't so nice sometimes. And that's tough. It's tough when someone blows up on you. It's tough to be on the receiving end of unfair anger. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was going to pick up my dad at the airport. And I was at the airport and just kind of started to, I was near the terminal, so the traffic kind of starts to funnel in and slow down and whatever. And this cab, like a literal taxi cab, I don't even know, like, what are you guys even doing anymore? Like, who's using cabs? And not, why does it even exist in Raleigh? I don't understand this. It's like, it's like, it's like seeing the yellow pages on your front door or something. Like, didn't we, didn't we cover this? Anyways, cab comes blowing past me, swerves into my lane, like, and, and, and like slams on his brakes. Like he's mad at me. And I'm like, what in the world's going on with this guy? I have no idea. I did not see him anywhere in my rear view. I was not aware. I didn't even think that I had changed lanes recently. He just decided he was mad at me. He gets in front of me and I'm like, whatever. So I, I actually, I didn't even need to be in that lane and he was now going slow to mess with me. So I, I I just went around him like I got to go to the second terminal, buddy. And I look over, and he is aggressively hanging the bird at me. And I don't know how you do that non-aggressively, but this was aggressive. Shaking his fist, yelling things. I literally, like honestly, I'm on the stage, okay? I'm preaching to people. So before God, I have no clue, no clue what I did that upset this guy. And so I just kind of looked at him and went, and kept driving. I don't know. I wasn't mad, but he was really mad at me. So what do we do when someone gets really angry with us and we don't deserve it? We didn't do anything. We don't know what to do. How do we act in those moments? How does God want us to act? And what's really cool is not even how does God want us to act just so that we behave well, but how can we act in those moments that will actually draw people, the people who are angry and the people who can see that anger, that will actually draw them closer to our Father. What can we do in those situations when someone blows up on us? When I was thinking about that, there's one story that comes to mind in the Bible. To me, it's the best blow-up story in the whole Bible. It's one of the biggest ones. I can't think of many others that are like it, if any at all. But it's in 1 Samuel. We see the first part of it in chapter 18, and then I'm going to point us to chapter 19. So Saul is the king of Israel. He's the first king of Israel, but there's this kid named David who's been anointed as the next king of Israel. Normally, Saul's son Jonathan would take the throne from him, but God has used the prophet Samuel to anoint David as the next king of Israel. And then after getting anointed, David does this really annoying thing where he goes down in the valley and he kills a giant that everybody else in the whole country was afraid of, including Saul, and he does it without Saul's armor. And so Saul's a little ticked at him. And then he puts David in his army, and there's this song. This is the English translation of the song. Maybe it sounds better in the original Hebrew. I don't know. It's a pretty dumb song, if you ask me. But it was, Saul has killed his thousands, but David has slayed his tens of thousands. I don't know what the melody is on that. Maybe I should get Roburg to help me out. That seemed to work for you. But I don't, that was the song, right? So there's some jealousy there between Saul and David. And so Saul was a man that was given to what we would probably identify as anxiety or depression, bouts of despair and anger. And one of the only things that could calm him was David coming to the palace and playing the harp for Saul. That would calm him down. And so David's doing that one day, and Saul is just seized with anger and throws his spear at David to try to kill him two times. David dodges both of them and then gets out of there. Then after that, Jonathan, who was David's closest friend in the world, goes to Saul, his dad, and he's like, dude, this is a paraphrase. He says, dude, what are you doing? What's the problem here, man? This guy, he loves you. He serves you. He's a good servant. He's faithful. He's a good leader of men on the battlefield. He's there to play the harp when you need him to. I'm not mad at him. I'm happy that he's going to be my king. You don't need to be mad at him for me. Just like knock it off with David, with hating David. Can you do that for me? And Saul says, yes, I promise I will not try to kill him anymore. Which just as an aside, if you ever in your life have to promise to stop trying to kill someone, you just need to take a look in the mirror. That's all. I'm not going to make a bunch of points about that, but that's a sentence that no one should say. I promise I will not try to kill him anymore. Then we pick up the story in 1 Samuel 19. Turns out Saul's a liar. He just really liked trying to kill David. So here we go. Then a harmful spirit from the Lord came upon Saul, and he sat in his house with his spear in his hand, and David was playing the lyre. And Saul sought to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he eluded Saul so that he struck the spear into the wall, and David fled and escaped that night. Saul sent messengers to David's house to watch him, that he might kill him in the morning. But Michal, David's wife, told him, If you do not escape with spear two times, leaves, gets invited back to the palace, goes back to the palace. He's playing the lyre again to try to soothe Saul. And Saul, for a third time, throws a spear at David. David eludes it and gets out of there. Which, as an aside, I'd just like to point out, this is one of the fundamental differences between David and I. I have a one-spear-throw policy. If you throw your spear at me one time in anyone's house, I'm leaving that house, and I'm not going to trust you around spears again. David has a three-spear policy, much more gracious than I am. So he eludes it for the third time. He leaves. McCall is actually Saul's daughter that was given to David in marriage, and she helps him escape. Later on, we see this poignant scene where David and Jonathan meet in a field, and Jonathan tells David, you're going to have to go until my dad dies. He's never going to stop wanting to kill you, so you got to go. So David, for I think about this 20 year period goes and he just lives in the wilderness with a band of some of his soldiers. And they just elude Saul at various times. Saul chases David through the wilderness, trying to capture him and kill him. And there's actually two really poignant scenes in the wilderness where David has a chance to kill Saul and he doesn't. There's one where they're in the En Gedi, the caves on the edge of the En Gedi plain, which is in the southern part of Israel, close to the Dead Sea. And Saul's army must have been close because David and his men were hiding in a cave. And Saul, now at my house, when someone says they have to go to the bathroom, we say, do you have to go to the bathroom or the bathroom bathroom? Saul had to go to the bathroom bathroom. So he goes into a cave to take care of business. While he's in there, just so happens, that's where David and his guys are. And David's guys are giving David the eyes like, dude, you could totally kill him right now. And David realizes this. But he says, shame on me if I harm the head of the Lord's anointed. So he takes his knife and he cuts off an edge of the robe and Saul leaves. And once he's a little ways off, within shouting distance at least, David feels terrible that he even did what he did. And he goes out and he gets Saul attention, and he shows him the robe. And Saul feels so bad about the grace and forgiveness that David shows him that he decides, I think I'm going to be done killing David for a while. And he goes back to the palace. It wasn't long before he started hunting for David again. This time, David and a guy named Abishai snuck into the tent at night, and Saul's laying on the ground asleep with all of his men around him asleep as well. And Abishai looks at David, and he says, let me strike him with the spear. It will only take once. It will not take twice, which is a really, like, it's one of the cool lines. Like, I only need to do it once, man. I won't need two on this one. I'll get him. And David says, no, shame on me if I touch the Lord's anointed. And then in a battle between some of David's forces and some of Saul's forces, Saul ends up being killed. And the person who takes Saul's life, David actually takes their life for being willing to do that to the Lord's anointed. So what we see from David is that although Saul blew up on him, had completely unjust, unfair, unwarranted anger at David, David always, his whole life took the high road. His whole life honored Saul. Never once did he raise to meet Saul where he was. And so if we're going to ask, what should we do when someone blows up on us, when we are the object of unwarranted anger and frustration, I think we can look to this example of the life of David and see what he did, and we can mimic those things in our own life. And what's really helpful about this is I think that there are three really important New Testament passages, verses or passages, because some of them are two verses. I think there are three really important New Testament passages that honestly, every Christian, if you're here and you call yourself a believer, you should have these memorized. You should be able to say these off the top of your head. These should be things that show up in your life that you think of often enough so regularly that you can quote them. You might not know where they're from. You might not know how to find them. You might have to type them into Google to figure out the reference like I did this week, but you should know them. You should know what to type into Google. And so I want to look at three verses that display three behaviors that David displayed in this story about his interaction with Saul. So let's look at three things that were true of David and try to make those true of us. The first thing we see in this story is that David was slow to anger. He was slow to anger. And I know he was slow to anger because David could have, by all accounts, by all accounts, he was a better warrior than Saul. By every measure, he was superior to Saul. When Saul is in his house and potentially drunk and throwing spears at him, David could have very easily taken that spear out of the wall and gotten his vengeance on Saul right there. Now, you might say, well, he couldn't do that. There's guards. He could have been killed. Yeah, maybe, but what we know is that he didn't raise up in red-hot anger and do what some of us would do if somebody tried to hurt us. He kept his cool. He was slow to anger, which is really not the typical response in the human experience, right? That's why James writes this verse to remind us to do it. In James 1, 19 and 20, he says, does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. This is one that we should know. This is one that we should have memorized. This is one that we should remind ourselves of, particularly when someone is blowing up at us. Because human nature is not to stay calm and stay down here. Human nature is to rise and meet the anger with anger, isn't it? You guys who are married know this. You know this. You've had those fights, those days, where you look at each other and you're just mad at each other. You're just mad. And finally, one of you goes, what are you mad about? What are you even upset for? And the other one says, I don't know. You're mad at me, and I don't know why you're mad, so I'm mad at you. Well, I don't know why you're mad. So I'm mad at you. And then you kind of go back and forth. You're like, what was the first thing that made us mad? And nobody knows. And like, can we just agree to just kind of set the arms down and slowly back away from this one? Are we done here? We're like, yeah, we're done here. But that's typical in human interaction to meet anger with anger. I remember years ago, very early on in our marriage, Jen and I were at each other's throats about something. I don't remember what. But as we were talking about it, she gets really upset. She storms up the stairs, slams our bedroom door. Now, what did I do? Did I, because of my maturity and wisdom, think to myself, she's probably overreacting, but I'm going to let her stay up there and simmer because we don't want to say words in anger. And, you know, I'm sure that she'll kind of calm down. She'll realize maybe that was a little bit too much, and she'll come and apologize and tell me I'm right. That's probably what I need to do. No, I did not do that. I did not do that. Instead, I thought, I'm going to go upstairs. I'm going to tell her that she does not need to be slamming doors in our house. So I go upstairs, and I open that door, and I start getting on to her for the way that she's expressing her anger. And she, again, I don't want to talk to you right now, and leaves the room and goes into the guest room and slams that door. Now listen. Here's what I know. I don't know what we were fighting about. But if I make that sweet woman act like that, it's my fault. I was wrong. I don't know what we were fighting about. I know I was wrong. That's what I know. Now when she went into the second room and shut that door, did I leave her be? No. Because I wanted to poke it. So I walk up to the guest bedroom and I open that door. And I said, you know, I can open this door too. I can open all the doors. I don't know what happened after that. Things just kind of went red, I guess. It was just a blur. That's what we do, isn't it? Someone's mad at us. Oh, I'm going to get mad at you. Some cab driver hangs you the bird, you're like, hey man, forget you. You know, like whatever. Your kid snaps at you, you've had a stressful day, you meet them there and you snap at them. Your spouse, your co-worker, your parent. That's what we do, isn't it? Someone's angry with us, we raise to meet that anger. Well, James tells us, don't do that. Don't do that. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. It's important to be quick to listen and slow to speak too, because in those moments when we're frustrated, we have things that we want to say. But if we'll calm down and listen, we'll probably learn new information that may change what we want to say, that may help us be slower to anger. So when someone's angry with us, wisdom says, I'm going to be quiet, I'm going to be patient, I'm going to listen, and I will not meet anger with anger. This is what David does. The second thing that David does is David was quick to forgive. He was slow to listen and quick to forgive. He moves to forgiveness very, very quickly. We see no evidence whatsoever in any of the texts that David was ever angry with Saul or that David could not forgive Saul ever through the rest of his life. We see David offer Saul quick forgiveness, which is right in line with what Jesus teaches Peter in Matthew chapter 18. When it says that Peter came up to him and said, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me that should I forgive him? As many as seven times? And Jesus says to as many times as you need to. Forgive again, forgive again, forgive again, forgive again. And it feels pretty generous for Peter to ask that. How many times, when my brother commits the same offense against me, how many times should I forgive him? Up to seven, which makes sense. Your friend comes over to your house, he gets too rowdy, he breaks your new TV. You forgive him that one time. How many more times should I forgive him? Seven? That's a lot of breaking TVs. And Jesus says, no, as many times as you need to forgive them, forgive them. The way that I think about it is, as many times as we hope God forgives us, forgive other people that many times. When someone offends us, when someone lashes out at us, when we are the object of someone's unfair anger and unfair frustration, we should as quickly as we can move to forgive that person. Because holding that grudge is only going to hurt us. It's not going to hurt them. Now, I will also say this. Last year at Lent, during the Lent season, I did a sermon on forgiveness. And I basically just preached to you from the perspective of my good friend, whose husband was having an affair on her, and she had to really learn what forgiveness looked like because they had five kids, and that was really, really tough. And one of the things that she said that was super helpful, if you're a person who's struggling with forgiveness or wants a more robust explanation of forgiveness and what it looks like, then I would encourage you to go back and listen to that sermon. But one of the things she said that I found very helpful and others have commented to me too that was very helpful is forgiving someone does not mean that you have to trust them again. And so I would say this to you. If the person who is blowing up at you is making a habit of that, if they do it regularly, if it's not just a one-off that you can ascribe to a set of circumstances that are no longer true, but you have someone in your life who's blowing up at you again and again and again, you should be slow to anger in those situations, and you should be quick to find a path to forgiveness in those situations. But let me tell you what David did not do. He did not go back into Saul's palace again. He did not make himself vulnerable to a spear the fourth time. He did not trust Saul again. Did he forgive him? Yes. Did he honor him? Yes. Did he give him grace? Absolutely. But did he put himself back in that home? No. No. If you have someone in your life who is habitually blowing up at you, it is perfectly good and wise to remove yourself from that situation until something changes and you feel like you can trust that that's not going to keep happening. As we talk about what do we do when someone blows up on us, it's... I'm mostly talking about people who aren't our spouses. If it's our spouse and they do it all the time, if it's our brother or sister or friend or mom or dad and they do it all the time, that's a separate sermon. But what I would say to that separate sermon is, it's okay to not put yourself back in a situation where someone's going to blow up at you all the time, where you feel like you're just around a ticking time bomb. We should seek to forgive, but we don't have to trust and keep putting ourself in a place where that is going to happen over and over and over again until we believe that something is going to be different. The last thing David does is David was a conduit of grace. He was a conduit of grace. He was connected to God's grace. He was pouring grace out onto others. Back in the fall, I did a series called The Five Traits of Grace, the five characteristics that make us who we are, The five things that we want every partner to exhibit. And one of those things is to be a conduit of grace. To be attached to the grace of God so that the grace that we receive flows out onto others. This is the verse that I think of when I think of this. This is probably, if you're going to memorize any verse at all, if you don't know any of these, start with this one. Start with this verse. Put it on your mirror where you get dressed. Put it on your dashboard if you get angry in the car. Put it next to where your emails are if those things make you angry. Whatever sets you off, whatever stokes your fire, just put this verse so that you can see it. And it's super easy to memorize and it's super impactful. For from his fullness, John says, we have all received grace upon grace. From God's fullness, we have all received grace upon grace. From the fullness of God's grace that pours out on us, we have all received grace upon grace. When we think about a couple of weeks ago on Palm Sunday, I did a sermon about the earned wrath of God on us for placing his son on the cross and that Jesus on the cross exhausts the wrath of God for his children. When we think of the wrath that we don't have to experience because God poured it out on Jesus instead of us, that's grace. And God knew, as I said, God knew that we were going to cheapen the blood of Christ by presuming upon the grace of God. He knew that we were going to do that. He knew what you were going to do after you prayed the prayer and after you accepted Jesus as your Savior. He knew that you were going to move through that awful season of your life that you'd like to forget. He knew that and he forgave that. He knows what lies ahead and he's forgiven that. When we think about the grace that we feel every week when we come to church and we sit here and we sing the songs and we have this voice in our head that reminds us of who we are and what we've done and where we've been and that if the people here knew what I was capable of, if the people here knew what I know, then I would have to find a different church to go to. And yet God chooses me and God loves me and God blesses me and he's given me grace upon grace. When we realize that, that that God is so good to us, that that God is so patient with us, that that God will watch us go through years where we don't have quiet times, where we're not praying to him, where we're not seeking him, where everything about our Christian life is compulsory and cursory. He will watch that zombie walk through life and still try to breathe spiritual life into us at all times, calling us back to him. He is excited every time we come home. He is excited every time we utter the words, dear God, and we begin to pray. He is thrilled in his heart every time he hears your voice praise your creator. When we receive from his fullness that much grace, it is very easy to pour grace out onto others. And this is what David did. He had grace for Saul. I think he understood Saul's plight. I think he had patience for him and his depressions and his moods, even in understanding his desire for his own son to be on the throne. And one of the best pictures of grace we see, maybe in the Bible, but definitely in the life of David, is once Saul has passed away, David has ascended to the throne. Anybody who's watched the History Channel or read any books about old kings and kingdoms knows that once a king takes over, one of the first acts of orders of business is to kill everyone associated with the bloodline that preceded him so that there's no threats to his throne. And there was no one left that they knew of, but then one day somebody found a relative of Saul's. It was a nephew or a cousin or something, I can't remember which. Named Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth, it says, had a disability. And that's important because that made it more difficult for Mephibosheth to earn money and provide for himself. So he was a person who needed help. And they brought him to David, expecting David to kill him, to put him to death, to be done with the line of Saul and move on. Instead, David, learning who he was, had mercy and grace on him, made a seat at his table for him, and invited Mephibosheth to live in the palace and dine with him and be with him and considered him a family member for the rest of his life. That was how David showed grace and honor to Saul. That's the kind of grace that we're to show to others. The grace that says, I'm not saying I did this in the moment, I'm not trying to give myself credit, but the grace that says, you know what? It would be super stressful to be a cab driver. I don't know how they do it. I went to Chick-fil-A and Home Depot the other day. I was about to lose my mind, and that's like five minutes away. I don't know how they do it to be a cab driver. And you know what? I bet I did something inconsiderate that I wasn't even thinking of. So I'm going to give them them that. Somebody cuts you off in traffic. They're probably in a hurry. They probably need to get where they're going. Or, if this helps, life would be really hard to be that dumb. So I'm glad that God didn't make me that dumb. Whatever you need. We offer others grace. And I'll tell you who's the world's best at offering other people grace. It's Jen, my wife. She will do this all the time. We will be in traffic. Someone will cut me off, cause me to have to slam on the brakes. Our children are crying. We're terrified. And I'll say, my gosh, can you believe that person? And she'll say, now, Nady, because she calls me Nady. If you want to call me Nady, too, you can. It'd just be weird. She says, now, Nady, you don't know. His wife could be in the passenger seat in labor right now. And we just need, tell me I'm lying. And we just, we don't know what's going on in their life. I could be walking down the road, I promise you. I could be walking down the road and some guy could just come up to me and dog cuss me in front of my family. And then I could get out of the situation and walk down there and be like, can you believe that guy? What a jerk. And she'd be like, now, lady, you don't know what's going on in his life. His wife may have just left him and his parents may have just passed away. You don't know. That kind of grace. And when we remind ourselves of God's goodness and grace to us every day, it is easy to pour that out onto others. And I say start with that one, memorize that one, because if we're full of grace and we're offering other people grace, can't we be more quick to forgive when they mess up? Can't we remember that hurt people hurt people and just assume that they're hurting and maybe actually help them get to the bottom of their hurt rather than piling on and making them feel shame for blowing up in a way that they regret? If we're full of grace, won't we be slow to be angry? Won't we stay here longer? Because we're trying to see the best in them and we're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt in the situation. I think if we just abound in grace that it takes care of the rest. And then the amazing thing that happens when we do this, when someone blows up at us unfairly or unjustly, if we do what this says, when someone blows up on you, be slow to anger, quick to forgive, and abound in grace. When we do that, what are the people around you going to notice? What are your children going to pick up on? It's the easiest thing in the world to match anger for anger. It's the easiest thing in the world to lash back out. It's the easiest thing in the world to let someone say something nasty to you, say something mean to you, to have a server who's curt with you, one of those servers who acts like they don't even want to be there that day. It's perfectly human to let them walk away and then you venture frustration to the people around you. But what if you meet them with grace? What if you're slow to anger when other people would meet? What if you're quick to forgive when other people would hold on? What if you're abounding in grace when other people would abound in suspicion and doubt? Then not only have you brought that person who blew up at you a little bit closer to Jesus, not only do you bring yourself closer to Jesus, but you bring the people around you who see that and who marvel at that closer to Jesus too. Simply by being someone who, like David, is slow to anger, quick to forgive, and always abounding in grace. Let's pray. Father, would we in this way be more like David? And so be men and women after your own heart. God, when we are the subject of unfair anger, unfair frustration, when people treat us in ways that we don't deserve to be treated, would you help us to be slow to anger? Would you help us to stop and to listen? Not meet frustration with frustration? Would you help us to be quick to forgive where we can, to give us an earnest desire to find a path to that forgiveness? And God, more than those things, would you help us be people who abound in grace, who walk in this acute awareness of the grace and the love and the mercy that we have from you. Let us be people who walk in an acute awareness that from your fullness we have received grace upon grace, and let us freely and excitedly and happily give that grace to those around us, even when those around us treat us unfairly. In Jesus' name, amen.

Good morning. How are you guys doing today? Good. If you're new, if you're visiting, my name is Aaron. I'm the worship pastor out here. And I don't know why, just to let you in on a little secret and give you a chance to laugh at me, whatever. I don't know why, whenever Nate's up here consistently and I come up here, one of my first instincts is to say, I'm not Nate. Like, you guys didn't know that. Like, for some reason, you thought, man, what happened to Nate over there? He just got a lot better looking suddenly. And I mean, maybe, maybe, but hey, really glad to be here. Nate, thanks so much, man, for the opportunity to come up and share what's been on my heart. To kind of launch us in, get our minds going in the direction that we're headed today. Have you noticed how the mistakes that we make speak so much louder to us than the right things that we do? To kind of give you an idea, so several years ago, my wife and I, we went to Miami, and I had been on this venture and this journey for a long time, trying to learn Spanish, trying to just get better at it. And I was doing the Rosetta Stone thing, all of that. I was doing really good. I could say, like, going to Mexico in October with the mission trip, I would have been perfectly fine asking where the bathroom was. I'm just good. I wouldn't know where they were telling me to go, but I could ask where it was, right? So I was halfway there. But I remember we went to Miami. And if you've never been, it's a culture that's largely influenced by the Latin culture, the Cuban culture down there. And so just the places that we went, I got to speak a lot of the Spanish that I knew, like restaurants and stuff, right? That was good. But when we got back, I was just, I was kind of feeling, like I was having a lot of confidence and I wanted to impress my wife, who is the love of my life. And so we were out one day and I was hungry and she was hungry. I was like, you know what? I know how to say I want to go to Five Guys. That was before the burgers cost 45 bucks. And so I was like, so I want to look at her with all the confidence that I could muster. I looked at her dead in the eyes and I said, quiero cinco hombres, right? Sounds good, right? But if you speak Spanish, you know what I said to my wife was not I want to go to Five Guys. What I said to my wife was, I want five men. And it was not what I meant to say to her because I did not want five men. I wanted to go get an overpriced bacon cheeseburger, right? And you know what I did after that? I did not say Spanish words that I did not understand until, what's funny is this true story. I tried it again last week. But let me encourage you. If you're trying to learn Spanish, don't use the words that you hear on video games because you could end up saying not good words in front of your grandma-in-law who does know very good Spanish. And she looks at you like, did you mean to say that? And I don't know. I just heard like she was getting shot at. And then I repeated what she said and it was whatever. But what's really funny about this, right? Like that, it struck me this week how vivid that memory was. And it's funny. We laugh about it. We can do whatever. Like it wasn't that big of a deal, but it really struck me how big of a mistake or how the mistake stuck with me all of these years. Isn't that true for all of us? We have these goals. We have these things and these places that we try to get to in life. And isn't it true that the failure en route to that goal, it seems to keep coming back over and over and over. It seems to play on repeat. And this isn't just a Christian thing, it's a human thing. But if you're a Christian, it's not just the goals that you have, is it? It's also who Christ has asked you to become. And so on the other side of those shortcomings, on the other side of those mistakes, man, it seems like that's an easy thing to point to. It's when the voice of shame starts to speak pretty loudly on repeat. I know what you did. You think they're going to accept you at church if they find that out? In this series, we're talking about emotions. Emotions that can overwhelm and emotions that can kind of take control and move you into being something you've never really wanted to be. And what I would argue is that a lot of the emotions that we're talking about, they're not to be demonized. Like the emotions that we experience aren't bad things. Like anger, for example. Anger left unchecked will completely wreck havoc in your life. But without anger, you would also not have passion. You would not be moved to act. Yesterday, we went to a lot of people at Grace Serves. We went to Rise Against Hunger. Without anger causing someone to be passionate about world hunger, they would not have that ministry. Fear, fear, unchecked, it will immobilize you. But it's also caused people to create a lot of safety in our world that we never would have seen otherwise. So a lot of these emotions are not bad, but shame, shame has no place in our world. I truly believe that shame is one of the most often used and effective tools of our spiritual enemy, consistently pointing at where we fell short. And the reason why shame is so powerful in our life is because shame not only points to your mistakes, but it identifies you by them. Like you are the sum total of the things that you have done wrong, and it plays on repeat. And so what's heartbreaking about this is our lives are often wrapped around, our identity is often wrapped around that one season in life, that one mistake, that one thing that you did or that one thing that was done to you. And we try as hard as we can, except we just can't forget it. That's what I want to talk about today. Because here's what we have learned. You can't quiet that voice. So how do you keep it from being so overwhelming? And if we're going to look at the life of anyone who has messed up time and time and time again, who else could it be except for Peter? Some of you thought I was going to say me, and that's not nice. Stop it. Right? But we're going to look at Peter. And to catch you up with where we are in the story, we're going to be in Matthew. But to catch you up with where we are, we're actually just within a few hours of what Nate talked about last week with Jesus in the garden. It started in the upper room with the Last Supper where Jesus is Jesus is predicting actually Peter's denial. Jesus says to Peter, hey, Pete, you know, listen, in a few hours, like you, actually, he says, all of you are going to abandon, turn your back and going to leave me. And Pete says, no, no, not me. Not me. I'd never do this. Well, Peter, funny, I love you. But it's not very smart to argue with the guy who can read your mind. But yes, you will do. This is something you're going to do. They move forward. They go into the garden, and Jesus simply asks them, hey, let's just stay awake and pray with me for a little bit. Jesus goes off to pray. It's probably interrupted by Peter snoring, and he comes back, and Peter's asleep. It does that twice. Then they move forward. Jesus is arrested. The guards come. Peter chops off the ear. Jesus puts it back on his head, so there's another correction. And then they go to the court. And that's where we're going to pick it up. In Matthew 26, we are met with this scene. Now, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl approached him and said, you were with Jesus the Galilean too. He denied it in front of everyone. I don't know what you're talking about. Now, when Peter, when it says that Peter cursed with an oath, that's not the same kind of cursing that we do when somebody cuts us off in traffic, right? This was more along the lines of, may God strike me dead if I'm lying. That was how firm Peter was in saying, I don't know this man. And so he broke. The account of Luke actually tells us that Jesus and Peter made eye contact. And it was at that moment that he broke. And here's one of the reasons why I think that shame is such a powerful tool is because it's so easily mixed up with conviction, right? Like both shame and conviction point immediately at the thing that you don't want to see. The thing that you don't, it points at the mistake. And both make you feel bad about it. And so as a Christian, how do you discern the difference? Like which one is shame? I don't know what to do. And you end up just kind of stuck in the same spot. But the best way that I can come up with to describe the difference is this. Shame disqualifies, and conviction invites. Shame is always going to disqualify you from wherever it is that you're trying to go. Wherever it is that you're trying to accomplish, shame is going to look at you and say, you, you, you, you don't, you can't go there. Like, really? Like, you think that you can do that? But conviction is the opposite of a tool used by the enemy. It's the voice of the Holy Spirit in our life. And it's always inviting us to something. It's always inviting us to what's next. That's the difference. Shame points at our mistakes and shows us how we can never be anything other than that. While conviction points at our mistakes and says, hey, here's what's coming. This is where we go from here. This is what's next in our life. What's fascinating to me about this, like we just talked about where this scene began, there was three to four mistakes, probably about seven to eight if you include the three different times that Peter denied. This is at the end of the Gospels. This is at the end of the three-year window into Peter's mistakes. What has happened every single time? He's dropped the ball. This is what he's known for. He's the guy who messes up. He's the guy who puts his foot in his mouth, except he gets back up and he follows Jesus. He gets back up and goes where Jesus asks him to go over and over and over again, except for this time, it changes. We don't know exactly where Peter went after this moment. We don't know exactly what happened. But all four of the Gospels go to the next scene, which is Jesus' crucifixion. And at the scene of the cross, it lists several of the people who were there, most of which are some of the women who were following Jesus at that point in time. And the Gospel of John tells us that John was there as well. You know who wasn't mentioned? Peter. Like, we can't tell you exactly where Peter went, but with a pretty good amount of certainty, we can tell you where he wasn't. Probably the place that he wanted to be the most. The place with his best friend to support. I don't think Peter was merely flexing when he told Jesus, no, I won't deny you. But what we see is that shame disqualifies us from everything that Jesus invites us to do. Can we stop for a second? And like, it's easy to point a finger at Peter and say, yeah, Peter, you should have just went, man, you're forgiven, like all this other good stuff. But can I ask you, like, what is shame keeping you from that Jesus is inviting you to do? Where is Jesus inviting you in your life that you have convinced yourself that you don't deserve? Where in your life is it this accusation of shame that you could not lead your family towards Jesus? Why would they ever respect you? Who knows you better than them? Why? Do you really think you can go to church? Man, hypocrite. How dare you show your face there? Do you really want to try to have more spiritual disciplines in your life? Like, why are you faking it? That's not you. It's the voice of shame disqualifying you from where Jesus is inviting you. And here's what's true. In your life and in my life, we will never, we will never out-talk shame. I hate that. I remember when I was younger, there was a lady who told me that I had the gift of gab. What I really think she was saying is, Aaron, shut up a little bit, man. But here's what's true. You'll never out-talk and out-convince yourself of why shame is wrong. Do you know why? Because you're you. Like, who knows you better than you? As we try to move past this moment, what are you reminded of? Well, another one. For every one failure, we've got 40 others. And that's where our mind keeps going to, which is why I love what Jesus' response was. To all of this, Jesus shows up in the gospel of John chapter 21. Now, you have several of the disciples who have already went off. and I believe, and there's a lot of people who do believe, that what we're about to read is evidence that Peter went back to his old lifestyle. Peter went back to his old job. It doesn't mean that he is no longer caring for Jesus. He doesn't love Jesus anymore. It doesn't mean that even a little bit, but it just simply means maybe he felt like he couldn't do what Jesus is asking him to do. He couldn't be the person who Jesus was asking him to be, so he will sit into what he did before he knew Christ with a love for Christ. And then Jesus shows up on the beach. Jesus shows up while these guys are out there fishing. They go out fishing throughout the night, and they have been fishing all night. They haven't caught anything. Jesus shows up on the beach and says, hey, guys, you have any fish with you? And no, we haven't. And then we have, I skipped a slide. You can go ahead and jump to the verse, just so you can have the feel, and it says this. To become who Jesus, no, go back one, I'm sorry. What we're to do, let's start over. Let's roll the bumper. And so to become who Jesus says we can be, we must correct who shame says we are, right? Like that's the next point. I think it's at the bottom of your page, whatever. It'll be fine. So, but Jesus shows up on the beach, points at these guys and says, hey, listen, here's what's going on. What did he say? He said something. You guys messed me up so bad again. Where am I at, Nate? I'm just kidding. Don't do that. So Jesus shows up on the beach. These guys have no clue that it's him. They've been fishing all night, and Jesus asked them, hey, do you have any fish? He says, no. So he says, hey, throw your net on the other side of the boat. They throw the net down, and then there's so many fish, they could barely haul it in, and then something clicked. We don't know exactly what was going through Peter's mind, but we do know there was something different in this moment., he tied his outer clothing around him, for he had taken it off and he plunged into the sea. All right, so we can't breeze past all of that yet. Like we got to bring some attention to something because I love fishing. I do. I know a lot of you love fishing. I would love to go fishing with you unless you fish like Peter, which is no fish and in your underwear. Like that just, it's weird. Maybe if you catch fish, sure, I can get past the other thing, but just that's what's going on. Have no clue why it's in there, but John wrote it. So maybe he's just pointing out, look at this dummy, right? So who knows? But something happened in this moment. Something happened. This is the third time that Jesus has appeared to the disciples. And not once do you see this type of a reaction from Peter. So much so, he was so excited to see his Lord that he couldn't wait for the boat to go 100 yards to shore. He jumped out and swam just so he could get there. Peter remembered something. If this story sounds familiar to you, it had to to Peter as well. This is very similar to the very first invitation from Jesus to Peter, where he was sitting out in the water, very similar scene, all night fishing. Clearly, Peter's not very good at it. All night fishing, no fish. Jesus says, throw it on the other side. And they couldn't even bring in all the fish. So that happened and Peter remembered and it drew him to Christ. Some of you may know my story. Some of you don't. I grew up in the church. I wasn't a Christian at all. My father was a pastor. So really what that meant is I knew how to act like a good preacher's kid on Sunday morning, right? So I learned all the do's and all the don'ts. But the moment I had, the moment I had an opportunity to split and kind of leave the church was when I was 16. My parents divorced, and I took the path of least resistance. My entire family left the church and for the next several years of my life. It wasn't that I was ignoring God. I just didn't think of God. It wasn't a conscious decision saying, okay, I don't want anything to do with you. I was just living my life, doing my thing, doing what I wanted to do until I was about 19, 20 years old, had a car accident that should have killed me. And I remember whenever I went into the hospital, I was in the hospital for several weeks, had a shattered kneecap, a severed femur head in my left hip. If you're wondering why I walk with such a strut, that's the reason. But I remember while I was sitting at the hospital, the several years that I had spent just kind of doing my own thing, no consciousness of Jesus or God or anything along the lines of that, not one of the people that I knew hung out with anything, no one showed up. The people who did show up were the people from years and years ago. People that I went to church camp with, friends that I grew up in church with, some of my father's pastor friends, they showed up and they prayed with me. And this, I'm not saying anything about any of the people, but what that was is God reintroducing himself into my world. He began wooing me. And so I started this back and forth journey, right? Like this, this, this back and forth. Okay, God, I'll do the right thing. I'll do it, do it, do it, mess up. And then I kind of run off and then do my own thing again. I can't do that. Mess up, do it, do it, do it, run off, do my own thing again. And it was like this for a very long time because I reverted to what I knew. Like you have to be good enough. You have to be awesome enough. You have to be all of these other things. And then I remember I went to visit a lady named Carol McCraw, the same one who told me I talk a lot. She was a worship leader in our church growing up. And I went honestly, just simply to say hi. She was a very important person to our family. And I remember when I walked in and simply said hello. She saw, she was playing piano as the music was getting started, and she saw me. She got up, she ran, and just gave me a hug. And it was in that moment, it felt like God wrapped his arms around me, and there was nothing that I did. Now, I clearly wasn't carol, but God used her in a pretty big way because it was in that moment I surrendered my heart, and I could do, man, there was such a love for Jesus, and then I'm telling you, over the next several years, we can sit down and have some coffee or something at some point in time. But it's this journey of falling short. And it's these moments of shame floods my mind. And I consistently go back to this moment where all I did was walk into a place with no intention of seeing Jesus, simply to visit a friend. And it was in that moment, like I'm drawn to the compassion of God because of that personal experience. I'm drawn to the love of Christ in that moment because I realized I didn't deserve anything. Like I think about my past and I cringe, But the love of Christ accepted me for who I was and walked alongside of me. I believe that's what's happening in Peter's world right now. Maybe he went back to his old lifestyle. Who knows? Maybe they were hungry and they went fishing. But there was something in this moment that when he saw Jesus, he saw, oh wait, like something clicked and he remembered. He remembered the love that Jesus has for him. He remembered the last three years, not for the failures that he experienced, but for the Christ who picked him up, for the Christ who invited him into something different, for the Jesus, for the man who helped, who walked along the water with him, for the man who never gave up on him. And Peter saw, and he remembered, he didn't go to the beach, and he wasn't met with a stern rebuke. He wasn't met with some disappointed speech. He was met by his best friend who cooked breakfast for him. He got to hang out. Then he asked him the same question three times, right? He says, hey, Pete, do you love me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lord, I love you. Peter, do you love me? Yes, Lord, I love you. Feed my sheep. Hey, Peter, do you love me? Yes, you know I love you. Why are you asking me this? Like, Peter, because you need to remember. You were never, never with me because of how awesome you are. But I want to do something in and through you that will blow your mind. Then I have to believe that it popped back in Peter's mind when Jesus said, hey, I'm building a church and you are the rock on which I will build this church. Peter remembered not the failures that he had, but who Christ said he is. He didn't remember the mistakes that he's had. He remembered the promises of his Lord and Savior. Man, what is shame keeping you from that Jesus is inviting you to? How different would your world look if when the voice of shame started to creep up, you hushed it with the promises of God? How much more boldly and confidently could we walk into what Ephesians 3.20 tells us? That the same God who is working in you is working through you. How much more boldly could we run into that? If when shame said you don't deserve it, you say, I know. But in Christ, I am chosen. In Christ, I'm a child of God. Yeah, but they'll never accept you. They shouldn't. But in Christ, I am completely forgiven. You'll never change. In Christ, I am a new creation. I think that's why Peter told us in 2 Peter that you were chosen and dearly loved. What a shame robbing you from the joy of your salvation, the freedom in Christ. So at the bottom of the bulletin, there's one more blank, and we'll put it on the screen. It simply says this, I am blank in Christ. Now at the bottom of that, we've listed several things, but you can go through those on your own, or you can look throughout Scripture. But what I want you to answer is this. What do you need to know of the promise in Christ? Who do you need to remind yourself are? Who do you need to remind yourself that you are in Christ to hush the voice of shame in your life? Is it that you're new? Is it that you're forgiven? Is it that you're chosen and dearly loved? If you look through that and you don't see it, shoot me an email. I'd love to chat with you. I'd love to help you find whatever it is in your world that will quiet the voice of shame. But maybe put a piece of tape on that. Write it on a sticky. Put it on your dash. Put it on your whatever you need to. Wherever you need to put this so you can remind yourself not simply who you are, but who the Savior of the world says that you are. Who the God who created the heavens and the earth claims that you, his child, is. How different would your world look if we didn't settle with the accusations of shame? But we boldly corrected it with the promises of God. Let's pray. God, thank you. Thank you so much for your kindness. Thank you so much for your love. Thank you so much for your forgiveness that we do not deserve, Lord. As we go throughout our week, as we go throughout our life and inevitably fall short of what it is that you've asked from us, God, would you just send your Holy Spirit to remind us of your promises? Remind us of who you see us as. God, help us to find our identity in your love and in your grace and not our failures. We need you, Father, and we trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Jordan, it is interesting to me that you think profundity is what's required to get up on the stage when they parade me out here every week, falling woefully short of the bar. This is the third part in our series called Big Emotions, where we're just kind of looking at times in Scripture where we see a blow-up or a blow-out or people with with just big overwhelming emotions because that is so much a part of our life. That is something that we experience just as we go through life. Sometimes our emotions are too big for us and they're overwhelming. And so this morning I wanted to take a look at big emotions in our prayers and what happens and how does God respond when big emotions creep into our prayers, when our prayers really become cries. And to do that, I want us to think about prayer together. It's really, when you consider it, one of the more interesting passages in the Bible, one of the more interesting interchanges that Jesus has with his disciples. They're following him around. They're watching him do ministry. And at one point, they look at Jesus and they say, hey, Jesus, will you teach us to pray? Now, this is a really interesting question coming from the disciples. And many of you have probably considered this before. The disciples knew how to pray. They knew how to pray. They had prayed their whole life. They had gone to synagogue every week, maybe daily at different points in their life. I don't know. They had seen a ton of people pray. They knew how to pray. They had prayed many prayers before, but there was something different, so different about the prayers of Jesus that they had to stop him and say, can you teach us to pray like you pray? Because that's different than how we pray. And Jesus responds by sharing with them the Lord's prayer. You guys probably all know it. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. And so in that, Jesus gives the model of prayer to the disciples and to us in perpetuity. And if you break that down, I've always been taught prayer and I've taught prayer this way in church, in youth group, in camps, in different places, in men's groups, small group, when we talk about prayer, something that's always been really helpful for me is the acronym ACTS. And you guys have probably heard this before. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. So the way that Jesus opens up the prayer. When we pray, the first thing we should do is adore God. God, you're great. God, you're good. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. God, you are wonderful for this. God, you blow me away for that. And when we do this, it really puts us in the right posture for prayer, you know? It really reminds us who we're talking to. I had a Bible teacher in high school who was also my soccer coach, who was also my administrator because I went to a small school. And when he would pray in class, he would say, okay, everyone, let's pray, bow your heads. And we would bow our heads to pray, and he would wait 20 or 30 seconds. And so finally, I asked one day, Mr. Dawson, what are you doing? Like, that's awkward. Why do you make us just sit there in silence? What are you waiting on? Because it's almost like, does he want us to pray? Like, should we? And he told me what he was doing. He said he was taking his mind, whenever he would pause before prayer, to Isaiah chapter 6, where the throne room of God is described. And it says that God is on his throne, and the train of his robe is filling the temple with glory. And there's these six-winged angels flying around him saying, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. And it's just so overwhelming that he cowers in a corner. And Mr. Dawson said that when, he said, when I pray, I like to take myself there to put myself in proper posture before God to remind myself when I pray, where am I going? I'm going to the throne room of God, the King of the universe, and I'm addressing the creator of the universe. That's a serious, somber thing. That's a place for humility. That's a place for penitence. This is why when we teach our children to pray, we teach them to bow their heads and close their eyes. It's a sign of reverence. It's a sign of respect for knowing who we're talking to and where we're going. It's why I encourage you as much as you can to kneel when you pray. Because it's hard to put yourself in the posture of kneeling and not feel humble, at least a little bit. And so Jesus says we should start with adoration. We should adore God. We should praise him. And then we should go to confession. What are the things, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. How have we trespassed against God? What attitudes do we bring into this day and into this prayer? What sins do we carry with us that yet remain unconfessed before the Father? What do we need to confess to God before him? And then we move into this time of thanksgiving, praising Him. God, thank you for your goodness in my life. Thank you for my family. Thank you for a church that I love. Thank you for the rain. Thank you for the day, whatever it is. It's John's second birthday today. Thank you for a great two-year-old son and for friends watching him in the nursery right now. Thank you for all of those things. We praise God for things. And then, suffocation. Then we ask for what we need. And you guys know, and you've heard this, that the tendency when we pray is to skip act and go straight to S. Skip all the other stuff and just go, dear God, I really need blank. I really need you to show up here. I really need this to work out. I'm really worried about this. It's all the I need, I need, I need. And there's a place for that in prayer. But the way that Jesus teaches us prayer, it follows this pattern of first putting ourself in the proper place and then confessing our sins, which remind us of the humility we should carry into the throne room. And then thanksgiving, let's acknowledge all the blessings God's given us in our lives before we ask him for more, and then in that proper mindset, say what we need to say. That's kind of the proper way to pray. But sometimes we pray when our emotions are too big for propriety. Sometimes we pray prayers that become cries. And the emotions that we bring into that moment are too big for acts. I've shared with you guys before that the first time Jen and I got pregnant, we miscarried. And I'm not in the business of doing comparative pain for miscarriages and who has the right to the most sorrow. But for us, the pain was particularly acute because we had been praying for a child for years. For years. We had struggled mightily. Our moms and grandmas were praying for babies. We had the church around us at the time praying that we could have a baby. We knew that's what we wanted to do. On my mama's deathbed, a few years before we got pregnant, the very last thing she did for me was direct someone to the top of her closet to get a stuffed animal that she made to give to my child when we had them. She went ahead and made it, and I think my sister finished it up for her so that we would have that to give to our first child. So when we got pregnant, we were elated. And then we went to the checkup for eight weeks, and the baby wasn't there. I don't know how long it took me to pray after that. But the first time I did pray, it wasn't Acts. The first time I prayed, it didn't look very much like our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. It looked a lot more like God. What in the world? What the heck? I would say different words if I weren't on this stage and there weren't children in the audience. That's how I felt, and that's how I prayed. What are you doing? Because we, and we're not entitled to this. None of what I'm about to say really matters, but to us it did. Jen's a school teacher. She loves kids. She's teaching in a Christian school, leading people towards you. We still have relationships with some of the kids that she taught in those days. I was a school teacher. I taught high school Bible. And then I worked at a church. We had made good choices. We were good Christian people. We had checked all the boxes. We had done all the things. And there was people who were living lives way more rebellious than us who were just tripping accidentally into family. And then we get pregnant and then you take it? No, I'm not praying acts. I'm not following the pattern for this one. There are some prayers that we pray that become cries. When we hear of the terminal diagnosis and we go to the Father and we say, really? This one? Him? Her? Why not me in your jacked up economy? Why them? There's a girl in our community. She's a young woman in our community. Just last week or two. She battled cancer for five years and came to it a week or two ago. Beautiful family, young kids. I don't know when that husband is going to pray again. When he does, those prayers will be cries. We've all prayed prayers like that. Where we're walking through what feels to us like the dark night of the soul and we don't have time or patience for propriety. We just go to our God and we are raw and we are real and we cry out, what in the world? How is this right? How does this make sense? As parents that send their kids to school in that private school in Nashville, what do those prayers sound like when they start to pray again? We've all prayed those prayers that are so big and so raw and so emotional that they become cries. And so I think it's worth it to look and see how God handles these prayers in Scripture. Because we get to see some. God in His goodness left them for us in His inspired Word. And so what I want to encourage you with today is, I know that we've all prayed those prayers. If you've never prayed those prayers, I'm so happy for you. I hope you never do, but I think you will. And what I want us to know as we look into the scripture this morning is that God is not offended by our prayers that become cries. I don't think God in his goodness and in his grace and in his mercy is offended when I look at him after the deepest pain that I've felt up to that point in my life and I go, what in the world? That's not fair. That's not right. That doesn't make sense. I don't think God gets offended by those things. I don't think he's so small that our broken hearts offend our God. And I actually think that there's grace and space for those prayers because we see them in the Bible. We actually see Jesus pray one of these prayers, a prayer that is so raw and so real and so emotional that it becomes a cry. This prayer is recorded in all four Gospels. We're going to look at the account in the Gospel of Luke chapter 22. Beginning in verse 39. And he came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, speaking of Jesus. And the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place, he said to them, pray that you may not enter into temptation. And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw and knelt down and prayed, saying, Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, this scene, many of you know it, Jesus has just left the Last Supper with the disciples. He's instituted communion. He's told them, my body is going to be broken for you. My blood is going to be spilled for you. He knows what is going to happen. He knows when he gets done praying, he's going to be arrested. And he knows that when he's arrested, he's going to be tried. And after he's tried, he's going to be flogged and beaten, and he's going to be hung on a cross and left there to die and then face death and hell. He knows that. And so he brings the disciples with him, and he says, remain here while I pray. And he goes off a distance, one would assume, so that they couldn't hear him. And it is interesting that they all ended up hearing him, because there's nothing in the text to indicate that Jesus subtly knelt and clasped his hands and said, my Father who is in heaven. No, these prayers from Jesus that we see, in Luke it says he knelt. In another gospel it says that he fell with his face to the ground. And the disciples are a stone's throw away and they can hear him clearly. And then he gets so intense in his praying that sweat begins to mix with his blood, which we know is something that can actually happen in moments of incredibly intense stress in our lives. So the prayer that Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane was not, Dear God, if there's any other way, would you please point me in that? It wasn't that. It was Jesus on his face prostrate, God, Father, please don't make me do this. Please, is there any other way? Is there anything else I can do? I do not want to bear this. I do not want to be on the cross and hear you and see you turn your back on me. I do not want to say, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? I do not want the crown of thorns in my head. I do not want the nails in my wrist. I do not want to do this, Father. Is there any other way? Please, please take this cup from me. That's a prayer becoming a cry. That's Jesus sidestepping propriety and crying out to his heavenly father. And in there, he finds what we should find when we pray like this. No matter how deep, no matter how raw, yet not my will but your will be done. Please give me the strength to accept your will. So I know that God isn't offended by those prayers because his son prays one to him in full view and vision of the disciples. And then he tells us about it in all four gospels. And that made me wonder, where else in the Bible do we have prayers that are raw and real and emotional? Where else in the Bible do we have prayers that have become cries? And of course, I went to Psalms. And I just started reading them and flipping through and finding them, these things where people are just raw. I am weary unto death. I want to die. Take my life. And I put them in your notes, Psalm 142 and Psalm 13 and Psalm 77. I think of Hannah's prayer in the temple when she's praying so earnestly and fervently for a child that Eli the priest thinks she's drunk. I think of the book of Lamentations, which is a whole book of tough, raw prayers. And I was going to kind of bounce around between those prayers, but then I was reminded of another psalm that's really dear to my heart, Psalm 88. If you have a Bible, I would encourage you to turn there. I encountered Psalm 88 when I took a trip to Israel several years ago. One of the things most groups do when you go to Israel is when you're in Jerusalem, you go to Caiaphas' house. Caiaphas is the high priest that had Jesus arrested, had him tried, and had him murdered. And in the basement of Caiaphas' house is this makeshift small dungeon. And a portion of the dungeon is a cylindrical room that they would tie ropes under the shoulders of the prisoner and lower them into this pitch black, dark room. Now there's stairs that lead down, but in Caiaphas' day, in Jesus' day, that was not the case. They lower you in and they pull you up when they're ready for you. And most people believe that this is where Jesus spent the night after he got arrested, waiting on his trial before Pilate the next day. And when you go to Jerusalem, you can go down into that cell. And our guide pointed us to Psalm 88. Psalm 88 was written by the sons of Korah, we're told. But it's also believed by scholars to be a prophetic messianic psalm. And many scholars believe that this is meant to be the prayer that Jesus prays after he's arrested. If it's not the prayer that he prays after he's arrested, Jesus knew the scriptures, he knew the psalms, this could very well be a psalm that came to mind that he quoted. But when I picture Jesus arrested and alone and reading, crying these things out, it brings fresh meaning to it for me. And when we listen to it and read it, I think you'll be taken aback by how very real it is. So I'm going to read a good portion of it. Beginning in verse 11. Is your steadfast love declared in the grave or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders known in the darkness or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? And then verse 13, They surround me like a flood all day long. They close in on me together. You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me. My companions have become darkness. That's a real prayer. That's not a prayer you pray in church in front of other people. That's not how we teach our kids to pray. We see accusations in this prayer. You have caused my friends and my loved ones to shun me. It is your wrath that beats against me and waves and covers me. The person crying out to God in this psalm feels the darkness closing in in such a way that they don't know if they will see the light again. My companions have become darkness, he ends with. And that's it. I am grateful to God for choosing to include in his Bible and his inspired word prayers that are that raw and that are that real. Prayers that show us that when our emotions are too big for propriety, that our God can meet us in those places and hear us. He appreciates those prayers so much so that he recorded them and fought for them and protected them down through the centuries so that we could see them too. So when we pray them, it's okay. When we need to cry out to God, we can. He's not offended by those prayers. He hears those prayers. He welcomes those prayers. And here's what else happens when we cry out to God, when our prayers become cries, when we lose all sense of propriety and we're just trying to figure it out. Here's what else happens when it's literally the dark night of our soul and the darkness is closing in around us and our life is falling apart and our children are making decisions that we don't understand and our husband is making decisions that we don't understand and everything that we thought was going to happen, this future that we had projected is not going to happen. This person that I love is not in my life anymore and I see reminders of them all the time and I don't know how I'm going to put one foot in front of the other. I don't know how I'm going to do it. When we pray those prayers, this is what happens. If we look back at Luke 22, there's a verse that I skipped. Verse 43. In the middle of his praying, and there appeared to him an angel from heaven strengthening him. In the middle of Jesus crying out, Father, please don't make me do this. Please let there be another way. God says, son, you're going to have to walk that path. But he doesn't make him do it on his own. He sends an angel to strengthen Jesus in the dark night of his soul. And I can't help but believe that God will send angels to strengthen you too. When you pray those prayers, I think God sends his angels to strengthen you as well. And I don't know what those angels look like. Maybe it's a hug. Maybe it's someone's presence. Maybe it's a text or a phone call or an email. I know in our family it's cardinals. Maybe it's a southern thing, I'm not sure. But we believe that when a cardinal shows up in your view, that that's a lost loved one who's just stopping by to say hello. Just to check in on you. And so sometimes God sends cardinals just when we need them. Another big one in our family is Mallard Ducks. You know that we lost my father-in-law a couple years ago. And Mallard Ducks were really special to him. And I can't tell you all the cool places where we've just kind of looked and there's a duck there that doesn't belong there. And it's just God kind of reminding us that he loves us, that he sees our pain, that he walks with us in that pain. Maybe, for some of us, God's using this morning to strengthen you, to buoy you. I hope so. Maybe this is just what you need. My hope for all of you is that you never need this sermon and you never have to pray those prayers. But my suspicion is you have a better chance of dodging raindrops on the way back to your car in a downpour than you do of living a life without tragedy. And so I think all of us, at some point, need this sermon and this reminder that when our emotions are too big for propriety, God can hear those prayers too. And in the hearing, in those moments, he sends his angels one way or another to strengthen us. I just got done reading a book. It's actually Beth Moore's biography. I would highly recommend it. One of the best books I've read in a couple years. And in it, she was talking to someone who faced incredible tragedy. And she asked her, how is it that you have kept going through these years? And she said, God opens my eyes every morning. I have no other explanation than that. There are nights that I went to sleep and I did not want to wake up and God opens my eyes. And so I get up that day and for us today I use the breath that's in my lungs and I praise him and I go. We will all in different times and seasons and for different reasons and in different ways walk through dark nights of the soul. But when we do, we can cry out to God. And when we cry out to God, He will hear us. And when He hears us, He will send His angels to strengthen us. I'll finish with this verse from Isaiah, and then I'll pray, because it's one of my favorites. We're taught in Isaiah that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and that he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. Let's pray. Lord, we love you. You're big, you're good, and you're gracious, and we are broken. We need you so much, and we have no right, we have no right to pound our desk and shake our fist and demand answers from you. We have no right to do that, and yet in your goodness, from time to time, you allow it, and you hug us, and you weep with us. I lift up the people today who might have recently prayed prayers like these, and I just ask that you would strengthen them, that they would feel your presence, they would feel your goodness, they would feel your love, they would be strengthened by you. Father, buoy us and tether us to you. God, we also thank you that Jesus did drink of that cup, that he did die for us, that he did conquer death and sin and hell for us so that we don't have to. And God, we look forward to a day when we understand things just a little bit better. But in the meantime, may your presence and your love be ever enough. In Jesus' name, amen.