Philippians 4

My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. We are in the second part of our series called With, where we're going through a book by a pastor named Sky Jethani. It's a book that I read back in 2013, and I've shared with you before, caused me more times than any other book to stop and put it down and get on my knees and repent and say, God, I absolutely see these things in my life and in my heart and in my motives for following you. Please eradicate them from me. I was having a conversation with someone right before church started. Actually, full disclosure, it was after church had started and half of the congregation was still out in the parking lot. Sorry, Steve, for that. That's our bad, buddy. We'll get it better next week. Join me, guys. We'll do better next week. But I was having a conversation, and they said, gosh, I'm loving this book. I've been reading it, but I see myself in all the postures. And I said, yeah, that's kind of it. If you're paying attention, you see yourself in this book as we read it. So as we get together every week, I want to go through the postures. I want to look at the different ways that we can approach God, the different motives we have for approaching him. And then the last week, look at the right motive we have for approaching him. Really, it's five weeks of discipleship, of looking at our relationship with Jesus, the one who saved us. And one of the things we said last week is we kind of asked where we were. We did a little spiritual diagnostic test, and I kind of helped us see, I think many of us, that to be a Christian is to be in a rut sometimes. It's to see other people having this flourishing relationship with Jesus, this really seemingly intimate knowledge with Jesus, and we can't seem to hit the nail on the head. We can't seem to connect the dots for ourselves. And kind of the phrase I'm using that's driving the way we're thinking about ourselves and our walks with Jesus in this series is to say, perhaps our walk with Jesus isn't what it could be because our posture before him isn't what it should be, right? And so then last week we looked at the life under God posture. The life under God posture acknowledges that the universe is big, the world is difficult, it's bigger than me, it's challenging, there's unknown pain and suffering that I can't prevent out there, but God created everything and if I can find a way to get him on my side, if I can appease God, then he'll protect me. And so it's this exchange. If I offer you obedience and you offer me protection, it's how we regain control of an uncontrollable universe. And this week, we're looking at life over God, which is really the natural conclusion of the life under God posture. If life under God says, man, the universe can't be controlled, but God can control it, so I'm going to get him on my side so that nothing bad can happen to me, then life over God is what happens when we start to learn a little bit. It's what happens when we start to get a little bit of knowledge. It's what happens when we realize that, you know what, creation is really a machine, and there are laws to the way it works. And if I can begin to understand these laws, the way the machine works, then it becomes more controllable and more predictable. This is what it looks like in years past. If we had a road trip, we might pray to God. We might go to God and say, God, protect us on this road trip. And now with a little bit of knowledge, we just check the weather app and we do the road trip when it's not going to rain. Now we're safe. We're good. In years past, a pandemic hits and we hit our knees and we pray, God, take this away from us. Now we scramble to create a vaccine. Life has shifted. So in a lot of ways, this life over God posture is a natural conclusion. It's just another way to arrest control back to ourselves and say, God, thanks for everything. We figured out your machine now, so we're going to take it from here. Now we'll be in control again. A great picture of what life over God looks like is actually this. If you go to the Smithsonian, you can see this Bible. That's Thomas Jefferson's Bible. Famously, he took the Bible and he looked at the teachings. That's in the Gospels. He looked at the teachings of Jesus that he didn't like and he simply cut them out of his Bible. It's called the Jeffersonian Bible. And I've always looked at that and thought, what audacious arrogance would it take to begin cutting passages out of the Bible that you don't agree with? But now I tend to think, at least he's honest. At least he has the guts to admit it. Because don't we all do this? That's what life over God posture is. The life over God exchanges God for best practices. As we think about life over God, that's what it is. It just simply exchanges God. It exchanges a relationship with Jesus for best practices. It exchanges a relationship with Jesus for simply the best practices that come out of his teachings. And we know what it is to distill things down to best practices, don't we? We've all done this. This is a thing that we can all fall into. When I first became a small groups pastor, I started reading all the books about small groups. And it would have been a mistake to take one book written about small groups for a church of 20,000 people and try to do a one-to-one exchange into my church of 1,000 people at the time. It would have been a big mistake to try to do that. So I didn't do everything that the author would recommend. I just took a couple things, a couple best practices that I could apply to my situation, and I would do that. And I would take a couple best practices from over here and over here and over here, and I would amalgamate the ministry that we did. Not looking at any of the books as authoritative or any of the individuals as authoritative, but giving myself the right and the license to take best practices from all these areas and then install them in my life. This is what life over God does. It looks at the Bible as just a simple group of instructions, an instruction book for life. And we extract from it the best practices like Thomas Jefferson did, and we apply those to ourselves. And then the ones that we don't like or we don't agree with or that seem too problematic or antiquated, we do away with those. And we begin to pick and choose which portions of the Bible we want to obey. We begin to pick and choose which portions of the teachings of Jesus we want to submit to. And we exchange God for best practices. Now at its worst, this posture is atheism. God's not real. He doesn't exist. The Bible clearly is a book. I'm going to take out of it the things that apply to me. There's some good ideas in there. I'll apply those. We might even feel good about ourselves for doing that, but I'm not going to take it all wholesale. At best, it's deism. God exists. He's real. He created the universe. He created this machine. But now that I have the Bible, now that I understand some of the mechanics of this machine, I can take it from here. I understand. God, thanks. I don't need you anymore. I don't need to pray to you anymore. I don't need to pursue you anymore. I don't need the actual relationship with you. I just need your principles and practices. And now that I understand how to manipulate things under my own control, I've got it from here. That's the life over God posture. And like I said, at least Thomas Jefferson was honest about what he did. We might think that this posture is a difficult one for Christians to adopt. It might be easy to believe that as believers, we wouldn't do this. Life under God, I'm going to obey him so that he watches out for me. Sure, that makes sense in the Christian life. And the other ones, from and for, if you've read ahead or as we get to those, those are easy to apply to the Christian life. But this is the posture of all non-believers. I'm going to take the authority of myself over the authority of God, and we distill him down to best practices, if anything at all. But what's important to see is that this one is sneaky too, and it works its way into our hearts and into our motives as well. And it has for the history of all believers. We can go all the way back to Moses. Sky points this out in the book, and I think it's an appropriate example. We can go all the way back to Moses to see this life over God posture. We're not going to turn our Bibles there this morning, but in Exodus chapter 17, the people of God have been wandering through the desert led by Moses for a number of years now. And they're thirsty, and they're complaining. And they're like, at least in Egypt when we were slaves, we have water. In the desert, we have nothing. What's the deal? They were upset. And so Moses goes to God on their behalf, and he says, God, your people are thirsty. What should I do? And God says, take your staff, take Aaron's staff, and go to a rock, and I want you to strike the rock in front of the people, and water's going to come out. And that's what he did. Amazingly. The miracle. He takes Aaron, his brother's staff. He goes to the rock. He strikes the rock. Water comes out. Everybody has their fill. Speaking of water, I just got thirsty. Everybody has their fill. Then, a little while later, it happens again. They start to grumble and complain again. They start to whine again. And this time, Moses is kind of sick of it. This time, Moses is kind of tired of it because here's God. God's used Moses. They've led him out of the desert. He defeated the Egyptian army in the Red Sea. God is visibly leading them every day by cloud, every night by fire. He gives them manna to eat. He feeds them in the desert every day. And yet still God's people are saying we had it better as slaves. And I think Moses is exasperated and can't believe that people find ways to continue to complain. But if we know anything about human nature, it's that if we were there in the desert, we'd be complaining too, wouldn't we? And so Moses is frustrated. And this is what happens the second time they complain. If you want to look in Numbers chapter 20, it'll be on the screen if you want to read along with me. Verse 7, before the Lord as he commanded him. So God says, go this time. I want you to speak to the rock and water's going to come out. Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, like they were told. And he said to them, here now you rebels, he's ticked, shall we bring water for you out of this rock? And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice and water came out abundantly and the congregation drank and their livestock drank as well. Now, the people are thirsty again. They're grumbling again. They're complaining again. God, Moses goes back to God. Your people are complaining. What do you want me to do? And God says, I want you to go to the rock. This time, I want you to speak to it and water's going to come out. And Moses says, okay. And he goes to the rock, and he assembles the people, and he says, you want some water, rebels? Which I think is probably the nice way of saying it in the Bible. And then, instead of speaking, he strikes the rock two times. God told him, I want you to speak. Moses says, no, I don't need your direction anymore. I understand this machine. I understand how it works. I have a set of best practices. The staff has worked for me in the past. It's going to work for me now. And he hits the rock twice. And God, in his goodness, allows water to come out. But Moses exhibited the life over God posture and said, no thanks. I don't need your authority. I'm not going to follow your rules. I know the staff works. I'm just going to do it this way. I've got my best practices. I figured out your machine. I know what's best now. And as a result of that sin and usurping God's will in that way, he's not allowed to enter into the promised land. It's actually one of the more tragic scenes in the Bible when Moses allows his frustration to get the better of him in this way. But he exhibited the life over God posture. Because Moses was susceptible to it, because it's been around for thousands of years, we should know by now that we are susceptible to it as well. You may have taken this posture if you've ever in your own life chosen selective morality, chosen a portion of Scripture. There's this thing that you know is wrong, but you've just decided in your life, you know what, I don't really care. I'm just going to do it. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine this weekend. It came to light. I have a group of friends. There's about seven or eight of us. We talk every day. And it came to light that one of my friends is one of these people that will just buy a TV for a weekend knowing he's going to return it at the end of the weekend. Or he'll buy an iPad for a couple days to use it and then take it back. And I'm like, yo, I can't believe that you do this. That's stealing. And he's like, oh, come on, you guys don't take a handful of the candied pecans at the Sprouts when you're going through there? And we're all like, no, we don't. That's theft. But he does it. And when we get to the bottom of it, what he said is, I'm not hurting anybody. It doesn't really matter. And we're all like, yeah, it's stealing. And he's like, eh, I know. And as I was getting on to him for it, he said, Nate, this may be an issue for you, and you may be able to condemn me for it, but I'm pretty sure if we looked at your life, we could find a place that I was more moral than you, and we could condemn you for that. And I thought, that's a fair point. We should probably wrap this up. Right now, I don't really want to explore this any further. We all do that. We all have these places and pockets in our life where Scripture tells us who we need to be. We know from God what He wants from our character, and we just refuse to hand those things over. We choose to keep a little bit of worry because it makes us feel like we're in control. We choose the right to be unkind or to not like people, even though we know that we don't have that right as believers. We elevate other things in our life over biblical importance in our life. If we have ever had, and I think we all have, selective morality, we've exhibited this life over God posture. Sometimes this posture takes on the form of a spiritual to-do list, of moralizing our faith, of I don't need to pursue God. I don't actually need him. If you'll just give me the best practices to be a godly parent, that's what I need. And we'll do sermon series. And listen, as I read this, I told you I had to repent. As I'm reading it this time, as a pastor, I'm having to repent, realizing I skirt the line of this often. We'll do a series on how to have better relationships. And sometimes instead of simply emphasizing our need for Jesus in our life, we'll say, if you'll do these four things, you'll have a better marriage. If you'll do these three things, you'll have a better kid. If you'll do these five things, you'll be spiritually healthy. And sometimes we under-emphasize how much we need to simply pursue Jesus and over-emphasize the things that we need to do, because this is what we like in life. We love a to-do list, don't we? We love having clear steps to accomplish our goal because we can grab onto that and we can control it. And now we're in charge of that. That's life over God posture. And we distill them down to some best practices. And God, you stay over there. I've got it from here. And what I really want us to see this morning is that when we do that, when we engage in this posture, when we exchange God for best practices, we're really making three losing exchanges that cost us so very much. When we adopt this posture, we make three losing exchanges. The first one is this, we exchange wonder for arrogance. We exchange wonder for arrogance. When we once marveled at God and his creation, when we were once at awe at him and everything that he does. The power of a thunderstorm, the beauty of a sunset, the miracle of cures. Now, with a little bit of knowledge and a little bit of understanding of how the world works, we become arrogant and difficult to impress. As I was thinking through this one this week, I was reminded that just last year, I think it was, Doug Funk, our favorite church partner and effective church mascot over there, who's now got the wonderful, if you're, listen, if you've been watching online, a whole reason to come is to see Doug's new Bob Barker haircut. It's amazing. And you need to come see it in person. And when COVID lifts, touch it. Last year, Doug got prostate cancer. He comes to me and he says, yeah, and he tells me, hey, I think I've got this thing and I'm going to get some tests. And it turned out that he had prostate cancer. And your immediate response is, oh my gosh, Doug, I'm so sorry. That's terrible. You hate to hear the C word. And he immediately says, it's prostate. It's good. They've got it isolated. They're going to run some tests on me, but they're just deciding how they're going to go get it, but they're going to go get it. And you're like, okay, great. So then you pray for wisdom for the doctors. He goes in for surgery. He gets it. You see him a little while later. Doug, did it go okay? And he says, yeah, it's good. Did I get it all? Yeah, it's great. All right, great. You're back at work. Please straighten the rows for church. Like, let's be ready. Like, let's go, right? Like, okay, great. Praise God. And then you just move on. Do you see the arrogance and the lack of wonder in what God has done? 50 years ago, that's a death sentence. 50 years ago, if you get that, you don't know you have it for a long, long time, and then you die, and we don't have Doug anymore. But because the medical community has advanced so much, because God has given us such wisdom that we can unpack the wonders of his creation, we take a little bit of knowledge and a little bit of understanding and we allow it to turn into bored arrogance so that when my friend recovers from cancer, I go, that's great, praise God. Let's get back to work. What wonder have we lost when we allow cures to pass us by like that? What wonder do we lose when we don't simply walk through nature and appreciate the breeze? When the weather feels this good and all we're thinking in our heads, because we've felt weather like this before, is, is this a false fall? How long do I get to enjoy this? Can I really break out the flannels for like months or am I going to have to wear a polo again? Instead of just going, God, this feels amazing. Thank you. When we adopt a life over God posture, we exchange wonder for bored arrogance. What a terrible way to go through life. Another exchange we make when we adopt this posture is we exchange trust for anxiety. We exchange trust and peace for worry and anxiety and stress. Because in this posture, we figured out the machine, right? We figured out how life works. We figured out what we need to do to get things to go our way. And because we have this understanding and because everything becomes predictable, we begin to heap all of the pressure and responsibility for life's unpredictability onto ourselves. We take on all the pressure. Literally, the weight of the world is on our shoulders because we've said, God, I don't need you to carry that for me anymore. I understand a little bit about how the world works, so I'm going to carry that and I'm going make things go, and I'm going to make things happen. And our souls were not created or designed to carry that weight. That's why God is constantly ushering us back to him. Come to me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden. That's why he says that we should cast all of our cares upon him and that we should lay our burdens at his feet. That's why he says in Philippians that we should present everything to God with prayer and thanksgiving and that he will guard our hearts and our minds with a peace. He and Jesus Christ will guard our hearts and minds with a peace that passes understanding. And we exchange the peace that Jesus offers us when we walk with him and we simply trust him. And we say, God, we're in the middle of a pandemic. I don't know what to do, but you're bigger than this. I'm going to walk with you and trust you and whatever happens, happens. I'm with you. And instead, we take it and we internalize it and we think of all the different things that we need to do. I can't think of a better example of trading trust for anxiety than the way that we parent now. I can remember, I mean, we've only been parents for four and a half years. But you start to learn all these things about kids. I start to read about how a one-year-old and a two-year-old brain develops, and we're like, oh my gosh, do we use enough words in the home on a daily basis? Is the TV on too long? Should we read to her more? Should she be writing now? This kid colors in the lines. What should our kid be doing right now? Look at her. She's a disaster. This is embarrassing. And then we do coloring practice and the whole thing. Like, you worry so much. And now in a pandemic, what school do we put them in? Do we switch them to in-person? Do we keep them at home? Should we erect a bubble around our house for the rest of our lives? What is it that we should do? And we assume all the responsibility for our kids. And everything that happens, we flip out. Our mind spirals into this death spiral of anxiety where we draw the worst of conclusions. And I just wonder, parents who are given to anxiety over your kids, and this is a not fair question, all right, so I'm in this with you. What's your worry to prayer ratio? Those of us that have anxiety in our life, what's our ratio of minutes of worry and stress versus minutes of prayer and giving it back over to God? With your business, with your career, with your marriage, with your relationships, with finances, with that really difficult thing in your life, all of us, what's your ratio of minutes of worry versus minutes of prayer? When we adopt this life over God posture and we take it all on our shoulders, we trade trust in Jesus for a crippling anxiety that drowns us that we were not designed to carry. And I would simply ask you, if you feel yourself anxious, which has there ever been a time where there's more reason for that than in an incredibly divided country about myriad issues in the midst of a pandemic and all sorts of uncertainty? Is there ever more of a time for anxiety than now? Conversely, is there ever more of a time to realize that that's what we're doing and offering our trust back to God than now? What are our minutes of worry versus our minutes of prayer? The last exchange that we make that's dangerous for us is we exchange seeking for doing. We exchange seeking Jesus for doing the things that he wants us to do. We exchange pursuing the Father for an eight-step program to have a better relationship with the Father. And instead of simply craving more Jesus, instead of that passage in Psalms being true of us, as the deer pants for the water, so my soul pants for you, oh God, the living God. Instead of that being true for us, we're just asking, what do I need to do? I'm reading my Bible 30 minutes a day. I'm praying 10 minutes a day. I'm leading a small group. I go to church. I tithe and I volunteer, and yet I still don't feel like I'm really connecting with Jesus. What do I need to do next? Maybe we just need to pursue Jesus. Maybe we need to do away with the spiritual to-do list and we just need to lay prostrate before the Father and say, God, I want you to show me what that looks like. Our tendency to make these to-do lists, to grasp onto control by giving ourselves bite-sized tasks that we know we can master, is so ingrained in us that I personally believe, and now this is, let me preface this. I've said this in Bible studies before. I've never said this from stage because I feel a responsibility with what I say from stage. So I'm going to say that this is a guess. This is a pastor's best guess. I would love it if you guys would talk about this guess in your small groups this week. Chew on this. Figure out what you think. You guys have interacted with Scripture, most of you, more than me. So you figure out what you think about this. But I think that this is the reason that God waited so long to give people the Ten Commandments. You ever wonder why God waited that long? Adam comes on the scene. He gives them the one commandment. Don't eat from that tree. They're like, got it. And then they ate from the tree. Why not after that, as soon as they fall, as soon as they mess up, as soon as they're out of relationship with God, why doesn't God go, okay, you blew it. Now here are the 10 rules. If you do these things, you'll be good with me. You've already blown it. I don't know what to do about you, Adam and Eve, but maybe Cain and Abel got a chance. Why didn't he give them the law then? Say, here's what I want you to do to be right with me. Why didn't he give it to Noah? Creation floundered and it failed and he hit the reset button and now it's just Noah and his family. Why didn't he give the Ten Commandments to Noah and say, here's what I want you to do. These are the rules. Let's not let what just happened. I don't want that to happen again. Here's the rules to follow to make me happy. Why didn't he give them to Noah? Why didn't he give them to Abraham? He speaks directly to Abraham. Go to the promised land. I'm going to make you the forefather of all of my children. I'm going to make you the founder of a promise. And by the way, here are the rules that you need to teach to all of your followers that are my children. Why didn't he give them to Abraham? It wasn't until we get to Moses and his children are wandering in the desert and clamoring that he finally allows Moses to come down the mountain with the two tablets and the Ten Commandments and the law. Why did he wait so long when he could have made it so clear? This is my guess. You might have your guesses. My guess is he knows our hearts. And he knows that the second we get Ten Commandments, he's giving us a spiritual to-do list. And then we do the same thing we did last week. It makes us legalistic hypocrites. It also makes us control freaks. And now we say, good God, I don't need you anymore. I don't need to pursue you. I don't need to kind of follow this wispy idea of you. I have these set rules that I can follow. I'm good. And what we do, just like last week, is we remove the relationship from a fundamentally relational thing. And now our very relationship with Jesus no longer requires a relationship because we have the rules. We have a to-do list. Have you ever been to a wedding and after the vows, each, the husband and the wife present each other with their 10 rules for marriage? You ever seen that? Here's your rules. Jen, if you'll do these things, I'll be a good husband and I'll be happy and then she gives me my rules. And then when we have this relational issue, when we're kind of at each other's throats, I don't get to go like, what's wrong? I followed your rules. I don't understand. Because rules remove relationship from a fundamentally relational thing. That's why we don't do it in our relationships. And God didn't want to do it to his either, I don't think. He gave us these to help us, but I think he knew our hearts and he knew that we would reduce a relationship to a spiritual to-do list and remove the pursuit of Jesus from our hearts. And I think we've all done this. And like I said last week, we're going to do four weeks in things we shouldn't do. And then we're going to cap it off with what a relationship with God should really look like and what should really drive us to Jesus. And I'm excited. We're supposed to wait until next week to announce this, but forget it. Sometimes I just do what I want. I'm excited. We're going to cap this series off by taking communion together for the first time since February or March. We're going to get you ready at home. We're going to find a way to do it here. But when we talk about being with God, we're going to bring him in with us and have communion together as a church. And I'm excited about that. But this week, I would simply ask you, do you see this posture in yourself? Do we have pockets of selective morality? Do we have places where we've reduced God to a to-do list and not a relationship? Have you made the exchange of wonder for arrogance, of trust for anxiety, or of seeking for doing? And will you allow God to work in your heart this week as you pursue him, to show you where this posture exists in your life, and to begin to ask yourself the question and ready your heart for what it should look like to follow Jesus. Let's do that this week and this month as we move through this process together. Pray with me. Jesus, you are good to us. You love us. You intercede for us. God, you see in us our true motives, and you're patient with us. Father, you know that we can only offer you gross. We can only offer you messed up. We can only offer you our selfishness. But would you help our hearts to learn to beat with yours? Would you create within us an earnest desire for you? Would we not make these awful exchanges and be people who wonder at you, who trust in you and who seek you? Would you work in our hearts even this week to prepare us for what it is to truly know you and follow you. God, would you be with those who are hurting this week? Would you buoy their spirits? Would you encourage them? God, would they see you even in the struggle? And for those of us who are having good times and good weeks, would we see your joy in those moments as well? Jesus, it's in your name we pray. Amen.

My name is Nate. I am one of the pastors here. As a pastor, it often falls on me to offer counsel and advice to people. Believe it or not, sometimes people will call the church and ask to talk to a pastor or ask to talk to me or even seek me out individually knowing full well who I am, and they will still ask me for advice on things or what to do in certain situations. And for a long time in those situations at my old church, it was a larger church in the Atlanta area, about 2,000 people. If you called that church, you got funneled to me. I was the one that you would talk to. It was a really talentless staff. So that was my role. And for a long time, my advice in those situations would pretty much default to suck it up. Like, get it together. Quit being a sissy. Let's go. Like, you just got to face the music. You got to stand up. You got to stick your chin out, and you got to take it. And I came by that advice honestly, because for a long time, that's what worked for me. Part of my story is that when I was younger, I was bullied pretty badly. For a couple years, elementary school and then in middle school, there was two kids in my neighborhood who just delighted in tormenting me. And I won't get into all the details of it, but one of the things they would do, just to give you a picture of what fifth grade looked like for Nate, is they were in middle school, so they got home before me. They would hide in the bushes at the bus stop and have an industrial strength rubber band, and they had sniffed it. So it was one big long rubber band, and then when I would get off the bus, they would pop me in the ears and in the neck and in the legs until I would cry or run, and then they would call me names. That was like most days. So we started diversion tactics. I got a letter to get off the bus at other bus stops. My mom would come pick me up at school sometimes, but that was a part of my life, and that was a part of my life for a couple of years. And at some point or another, as a kid, I just realized I can't care so much what they think about me. They would invite me over to play and I'd be like, oh good, we're friends now. And then I would get there and they would just make fun of me until I would go home. And it taught me to have a thick skin. It taught me to not let it affect me when other people pick on me. It taught me to be tough. And at some point in my adolescence, I decided I'm tired of them having this kind of control over me. I'm just going to tough it up. I'm just going to suck it up and figure out how to not care what they think. And that's what I did. And so in adulthood, when an issue came up, my thought was, suck it up. Just don't be a baby. That's what I did. Worked for me. Let's go. And that's kind of the mindset I had several years ago when I got one of those phone calls at the church that I was at. Some guy called the church and just said he was in a real tough way, needed to talk to a pastor. So pick up the phone. Hey, you know, one of the pastors here, what's going on? How can I help you? And he was 31 years old, and he had a girlfriend who had a bit of a drug issue, in his words, and she had just broken up with him. Nobody in his family liked him, liked her, but he was crestfallen over this breakup. And he wanted to know from a pastor, if there is a good God in heaven, how could he allow this girl to break my heart in this way? And I thought, are you freaking kidding me? Like, you're 31. She broke up with you. She's a drug addict. This is a good thing, dude. Get another girlfriend. There's a lot of them. Like, I could not muster any sympathy for this dude. In my life, there was a good friend of mine who had just lost her husband, and I'm comparing and contrasting these tragedies, and I'm like, bro, suck it up. Like take a day, you know, have a beer and then get back to it. It doesn't matter. Like I literally, I was nice to him. I wasn't mean. I had the hardest time caring about this guy's issue. Like the girl broke up with you, man, whatever whatever. And so a couple days after that, I had lunch with a counselor. Every now and again, a counselor will reach out to a pastor and invite you to lunch, and they're basically, they're kind of courting your reference. You want to get to know each other, and they know that I kind of funnel people into counseling, and so that's kind of how that goes. And so we went out to lunch, and we were talking, and I said, hey hey man, let me just ask you a question. So I have to counsel sometimes. Let me get a little bit of advice. I got this call the other day. How would you have handled that? And I told him about the guy's issues and my response. And he kind of thought about it a second and he said, I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, well, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that your parents are together and that you never really had to wonder if they were proud of you. And I said, that's true of me. Yeah, I would say that's true. I said, how'd you know that? And he said, it's just, you just kind of get a sense. I can just tell by the way you carry yourself. He said, I'd be willing to bet that that guy you talked to on the phone probably doesn't have a background like you. He probably doesn't have that family structure to lean on like you did. And he probably values the relationship with that girl and what it did for him and the value that it made him feel a lot more than you ever would. So your ability to detach yourself from that and move on is not the same as his. So I would probably handle that with a little bit more empathy. And I thought, whoa, this dude is smart. I'm going to give him all the referrals. How did he figure that out in 20 minutes of talking to me? I was super impressed. And it also dawned on me in that conversation, because I'm obtuse,ations are always a little bit more nuanced than they seem. And that most of the time when we're talking about issues of mental and emotional health, suck it up is really bad advice. It's really careless and thoughtless and obtuse. And since then, I've rethought about the way that I offer counsel. And that really got my wheels turning on mental health in general. It's something that I care about a lot. I care deeply about how the church engages it because I think historically the church has engaged mental health a little bit like I did. Suck it up and pray it away. Let's go. You're not a good enough Christian. If you were a better Christian, you wouldn't be so sad. So let's lean into God and let's quit being a sissy. And I just think historically that's how we've handled it and that's obtuse. That's not helpful. And more and more, it's being pressed into the national conscience. Last year, we had several athletes come out and say that they were struggling with anxiety, that they were struggling with depression. There was a very high-profile rookie in the NBA who had a terrible rookie year, and he confessed that it was because he struggles greatly with anxiety. There was an offensive lineman, a big, huge bear of a man for the Philadelphia Eagles, I believe, who missed a half of football because he was in the locker room at halftime throwing up because of anxiety attacks and could not get himself out on the field. So more and more we become aware of these things. Every time there's a shooting, then mental health and the epidemic gets thrust into the national conscience. And so as we approached this series and we said, I want a better life, and we thought through the four things that we were going to talk about, I just kind of felt like, based on all of those things, my experiences and what's going on in our culture now, that it would be good to take a Sunday and say, hey, you know what? I want a better me. I want to be more healthy. And so I wanted to take a Sunday and talk to those of you who do struggle with some sort of mental or emotional struggle. I wanted to talk to us as a church, as we encounter and engage and love people in our life who are walking through that struggle. And so as I prepared and thought through what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach it, I actually had a conversation with my therapist. I started seeing a therapist this last summer. And normally when I tell people that I'm in counseling, I immediately tell them why I'm in counseling because I don't want them to think that I'm broken or crazy or that there's something going on. So I want to be very clear, but it's for this really good reason. But as I prepared for this sermon, I thought, I'm going to quit doing that. Because what do I care what you think about how I go to counseling? We need to destigmatize it anyways. So I had a conversation with my therapist. And he's a believer. And he's got a master's in divinity. And so he's very helpful for me. And I said, hey, man, I'm going to be doing a sermon on mental health. What does the church need to know about mental health? What do you wish pastors would say about it? And he said, well, you know, I don't really hear a lot of sermons on mental health, but the ones that I have heard tend to focus on unhealth and what that's like. And I just think that we do a disservice to the church when we don't paint a picture of what health is. So I would invest my time in that. That's interesting. How would you define health? And he defined it essentially this way. He said, a healthy person walks in a sense of security and worth. He said a healthy person, someone who's mentally and emotionally healthy and stable walks in a sense of security and worth. What he meant is, if we're going to be emotionally stable, if we're going to be mentally healthy, then we need to have a sense of security. We need to feel safe. We need to know that everything's going to be okay. If we're walking around in constant fear, a constant uncertainty, or like we've got our eyes covered and we don't know where our next step is going to go, that that's going to cause some mental instability. So we first need to feel secure, but we also need to feel valuable. We need to feel worth. We need to feel like we're enough. We need to feel like we're good enough for other people, that we have some intrinsic value. We need to understand that about ourselves and walk in an actualization and an acknowledgement of that value. So he said, to be healthy, we need to walk in a sense of security and worth. And then he said something that I thought was really interesting. He said that every person gets their boat rocked a little bit. Every person in their life, all of you, at some point or another, have had times where you felt unsafe and had times where you felt unworthy. We've all had our security compromised. We've all had the rug pulled out from under us. We've all felt like, no, this time it's not gonna be okay. And I think more predominantly in the American culture, we've all had times where we don't feel worthy. Some of us feel that pervasively right now. For some of us, the story of our life is this low simmering sense of unworthiness and lack of value and like we're not good enough. And all we've ever done is claw to show ourselves and the people around us that we are actually good enough. Everybody struggles at times to feel secure and to feel worthy. And what he said is, when that happens, healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to get themselves back on track. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to grope for that security and to try to grope for that value. We've seen these unhealthy coping mechanisms, right? Someone feels unsafe, their world feels crazy, and so they become hyper-controlling of their environment all the time. They become, their house has to be clean, and their house doesn't have to be clean because they like a clean house. Their house has to be clean because they've got to exert control over something. And that's not necessarily bad, but it can become unhealthy. Where we see this most is when people exhibit unhealthy coping mechanisms as we lurch for value. This is the girl that far too easily gives herself over to whatever guy will pay attention to her. Because from that guy, she is getting her sense of worth, and that's how she's coping and lurching for that. This is the grown man that still tells you how good of an athlete he was in high school. Because all he's saying is, tell me I'm valuable. Tell me I'm worthy. This is the guy that can't help but brag about whatever it was he did. It's not because he's dumb. It's because he's incredibly insecure and he's groping for value and he doesn't feel it. So he's just looking at you going, can you just tell me I'm awesome? Can you do that, please? He's a 15-year-old kid going, please tell me I'm great. We all do it. As we grow up, we find more nuanced ways to grope for this value, but we do, and it becomes unhealthy. This is where addictions start and get carried on, right? We feel unvaluable. We feel unworthy, we feel unsafe, and so we drink, we medicate, or we find a hobby to numb it, or we refuse to sit in silence. In my research, I saw a great quote from Blaise Pascal that said, all of man's problems can be summed up in his inability to sit in a quiet room alone. Some of us hate the silence. Some of us can't go more than 10 seconds without pulling out our phone to distract ourselves from the things that we don't want to think about. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to bring back and restore that sense of security and worth. And when we think about healthy coping mechanisms, I think this is a good place to insert the spiritual into the conversation as we think about what are some healthy coping mechanisms with a lack of stability or a lack of value that can bring me back to a place of true health. And as I had this conversation with my therapist, I suggested these two things. I said, I think God provides for us these senses in these two ways. And he said, yeah, that's not everything. And I just want to say very clearly, I'm not covering everything that we do and how we handle mental health this morning, but this is a very good start, I think. As we think about healthy coping mechanisms and what it means to be truly healthy, I want to suggest these two things to you, that there's really two pillars of true health. There's security in God's sovereignty and worthiness in God's love. If we want to be healthy people, truly healthy the way that we were designed, we have to walk in a sense of security anchored in God's sovereignty and a sense of worthiness brought about by God's deep and compassionate love for us. That's what true health is. And so a healthy coping mechanism is to acknowledge that God is sovereign, to acknowledge that God is in control, to acknowledge that nothing happens outside of his purview and outside of his will and feel the relief of that. A good coping mechanism is to look around at the people in your life that God has placed in your life who love you and who value you and who are telling you that you are enough and to allow that to be the truth that you hear and not the truth from the detractors. I actually think that these two pillars are some of the greatest things that Christianity has to offer. I think we undervalue the sovereignty of God. One of my favorite verses, group of verses, is Philippians 4, 6, and 7. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the God of peace who transcends all understanding will, listen, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Are you anxious? Are the things keeping you up at night? Does worry characterize you? Pray those things to God. Release them to God. And he says that his peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And what that means is God is saying, I've got it. I'm in control. I'm God. It's going to be okay. Rest easy in my sovereignty. He does this again in Romans 8, where it says, we know that for those who love him and are called according to his purpose, that all things work together for the good of those who love him. Everything works together for the good of those who love him are called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 tells us everything's going to work out. Even if it doesn't work out now, it will work out eventually. It's a beautiful promise from God. I saw a clip of a pastor doing the funeral for his mother that he lost far too early. And he said some amazing things. He said, you know, with God, all of our prayers are answered. I was praying so much for my mom to live, and then she died. He said it disillusioned him for a little bit. But what he realized was he was thinking about it wrong. And it dawned on him that in God, all his prayers are answered because she knew Jesus. So as he prayed for his mom to live, the truth of it is either she's going to live or she was gonna live. She was gonna be okay or she was gonna be okay. She was gonna be with family or she was gonna go be with family. God is good or God is good. This is the sovereignty that he offers us. And one of my favorite passages that I mentioned often, Revelation 21, paints this beautiful picture where it says the end of days that we will be with God and he will be with his people and there will be no more weeping and no more crying and no more pain anymore for the former things have passed away. There is a sovereignty and a peace that God promises throughout scripture. Scripture is replete with these promises. And if we want to be healthy and cling onto a sense of stability and know that everything is okay, even when we don't see how it's going to be okay, then we cling to the sovereignty of God that is laced throughout Scripture, and we know that it's going to be okay, even if it doesn't make sense to me. And I believe that a healthy person reminds themselves of the sovereignty of God and rests easy in that and not in their own control. The next thing we do is we rest in God's love. We know the Bible tells us God loves us. We know John 3.16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. God tells us that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without his knowledge, so how much more does he care about you that the numbers of hairs on your head are numbered? He knows you that well and that intimately. He tells us that if your earthly father knows how to give you a good gift, how much better are my gifts? He tells us that we know that we are loved because while we were still sinners, he died for us. He tells us that we are able to love him because he first loved us. From God, if you listen, is a constant, pervasive, never fatiguing voice that says, you are enough. I love you. You do not have to perform for me. You don't have to be good for me. You don't have to sell for me. You don't have to execute for me. You don't have to impress me. I love you as much as I'm ever going to love you. And to be healthy is to walk in an acknowledgement of that love and not need the accolades of others and not be so desperate for the approval of this group because I'm walking with the approval of my God. And if you give me it too, that's great, but I don't need it because God gives it to me. That's what health looks like. Have you ever met somebody who is so comfortable in their own skin that you just marvel at it? To me, that's a person who walks knowing that God loves me and I'm good. That's what health is. So if we want to be a healthy person, we need to quiet the voices that are telling us we're not enough and listen to the pervasive and persistent voice of God that tells us that we are. As we think about ourselves pursuing mental and emotional health, I think the best, most practical way to do that is to pursue health. We need to identify poor coping mechanisms in our life and pursue healthy ones. If we're going to be mentally healthy, if we're in a state this morning where we feel given towards depression, if we feel given towards anxiety, if we feel given towards just unhealth, I think a good exercise is to identify the unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist in our life. And listen, we all have them. One of the things I'm more certain of than ever, especially in being in counseling, is that we are all a bundle and an alchemy of insecurities and coping mechanisms to present ourselves as enough, all of us. So the best thing we can do is try to identify where these coping mechanisms are and pursue them and pursue healthy ones. But I don't just want to talk about us, how we pursue health. I think one of the big questions the church faces and some of us in our life faces, if I have people in my life who are not healthy, how do I love them towards health? What can we do to love other people towards emotional and mental health? I think two things I would suggest to you this morning. The first would be to offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. To offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. Hebrews tells us that Christ took on flesh, that he bore our infirmities, that he was tempted in the ways that we are tempted, so that he understood our plight, so that when we pray to our Savior, we're not praying to someone who is altogether unfamiliar with the human condition. We're praying to someone who is empathetic with us and therefore compassionate towards us. Do you realize that empathy is the birthplace of compassion? That empathy begats compassion. That the thing that happened with me and that guy that called the church that day, I had zero empathy for him. Therefore, I had zero compassion. It made no sense to me how he was that broken up about that. I could not put myself in his shoes of caring that much that I would doubt the existence of God because a girl dumped me. And so I had no compassion for him. But when I had that conversation with the counselor, and I realized the nuances of what was going on in the conversation that I had with that guy, the thought occurred to me, you know what? If I didn't grow up the way that I grew up in the house that I grew up in, it's entirely possible that I would handle that situation just like he does. And that I'm not tough. I didn't just learn to suck it up. I'm just the benefit of a good environment with good coping mechanisms. And the truth of it is, if you think about me as a little kid, I said I learned to suck it up early. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't decide as a 12-year-old to get tough. No one gets tough at 12. I was in an environment where I was loved by family and by people at church. And that reminded me of my worthiness. My parents breathed scripture into me and that reminded me of God's sovereignty. And I begun to cling to those things. And I wouldn't have articulated it like this at the time, but all that happened is I had to simply develop healthy coping mechanisms for feeling unsafe and unworthy. And the guy that I was talking to on the phone that day had never had the opportunity to develop those. So the first thing we do with people who are experiencing unhealth is we offer empathy. And we acknowledge and admit that even if we don't understand, even if we've never felt that way before, if you change the alchemy of my life and you make the circumstances the same and you run me through the ringer that they went through, there's a very good chance I would come out the other side feeling and thinking and acting the same way that they do. So don't think that we're for a second better than them or more stable than them or tougher than them or stronger than them. We have a different background than they do. And when we can acknowledge that we would be the same person they are, that produces in us empathy. And out of that empathy comes compassion, where we realize some of the worst possible advice would be to suck it up or to pray it away, that we need to first be empathetic with them and understand. And empathy is also the acknowledgement that sometimes when people are dealing with a mental health issue, it's a chemical imbalance. They are sick. Looking at someone who is depressed and telling them to suck it up is like looking at someone with the flu and telling them to run a couple miles. It's useless advice. All it does is make you look dumb and then feel bad. We've got to offer empathy, which produces in us a Christ-like compassion. To help us offer empathy, I wanted to share with you some statistics that I found in the research that I've been doing. These are from the National Mental Health Institute, Institute of Mental Health. What I learned is that a quarter or 20% of U.S. citizens exhibit some symptoms of mental illness. Now, that's a wide brush. That's mild depression all the way to extreme schizophrenia, okay? But 20%, one in five of you, look down the row within two people and one of them is crazy, right? That's a lot. It affects a lot of us. Now, here's what I think is really interesting. It says that there's 22% of women and 15% of men deal with mental health issues. Now, here's what that doesn't mean, that men have it together more than women do. What it means is they're more honest than us and you're a stubborn jerk. That's what that means. You just can't admit that you're struggling. You just fold your arms and pretend like everything's okay. And it only gets worse because 26% of millennials of 18 to 25 say that they experienced some sort of mental illness or exhibit signs of that. Only 14% of ages 50 and older. Now listen, I don't think for a second that you people who are 50 and older in this room have just have life so figured out and all your coping skills so nailed that you're the healthiest bunch in the room. Listen, if you're a dude over 50 and you're like, I don't struggle with depression. Yes, you do. You're just stubborn. Listen, all of us at some point have experienced a season of melancholy. We all have. If you haven't, you're a psychopath or you're not paying attention. All of us experience anxiety in excessive ways. Everybody in this room has had a suicidal thought. Everybody. The difference with healthy and unhealthy is how we cope with those things. I also thought it was really interesting that 50% of adolescents show sign of a mental disorder. And if we understand that health is to walk in a sense of stability and worth, is it any wonder that half of our high school students have no idea how to cling on to stability and worth? We are all of us broken. We are all of us at times weak and in need of help. There is none of us in here who is singularly and individually strong and healthy. And we need to acknowledge that as we seek to offer empathy to others. The next thing we can do to love people towards health is to celebrate courageous choices. We need to start celebrating courageous choices. When somebody makes a decision to get help, when somebody makes a decision to be vulnerable and confess, we need to praise those things. We need to celebrate those things. We don't need to deride those things. I've talked a lot about counseling in this sermon. One of the things that breaks my heart is that counseling gets such a stigma that people, when you start talking about going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that we automatically think, man, only broken people do that. What's going on in your life? What can you not get together yourself? Why do you need help that you need to go talk to a professional to do that? Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? What have you failed at? How did you ruin your marriage? When did you get fired? We just assume that when people are going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that there's something broken in them. But here's the thing, there's something broken in all of us, so we need to stop it. Sometimes, most of the time, the unhealthy coping mechanisms that we have are so deeply embedded and ingrained in us that we can't see them. We don't know how to find them ourselves. And we need a trained professional to talk with us and help us see those and then help us see a way through them. We need trained professionals who are more than pastors. I'm very quick to go, listen, I wanna try to help you as best I can. I'm gonna pray for you. You need to talk to a therapist, not because you're crazy, but because they're good at it. The other thing I've learned is when you talk to somebody who will say, I should really go speak to a counselor about this. A lot of times they won't. And at first they won't because it's a pride thing. I don't want to do that. I don't want people to see me parking at that office. I don't want people to think that there's something wrong with me. I don't want people to think that I can't handle it or that I'm weak somehow. I don't want all the stuff that goes with seeing a counselor. So I'm not gonna go do that. And it seems like pride. But when you start to peel back the layers, what you find is that it's really fear. I'm convinced that the reason, if you're thinking about seeing a counselor, getting help, working through some unhealth in your life, I'm convinced that one of the big reasons we don't do that is because we know good and well what we're going to have to walk through when we get there. We don't want to have to look at ourselves in the mirror. It is easier to cope. It is easier to demur. It is easier to distract than it is to confront. And so we keep walking away from our unhealthy selves instead of turning and allowing someone to hold up a mirror and show us and work through it and walk through it and emerge on the other side more healthy. It's often fear that keeps us from getting help, not pride. And so I want you to know this morning that I think it takes bravery to go get help. And I actually think, and I would love for our church to start thinking about it this way, that counseling is not for the broken. It's for the brave. Counseling is not for broken people. It's for brave people. If it were for broken people, then we'd all be in it because we're all broken. But at some point or another, you have to take a step and make a decision that I want some help. I want to be healthy. I want somebody else's voice in this conversation helping me identify the unhealthy pockets in my life to restoring me to my God-given sense of security and value and love. And since I can't find my way out of this mess myself, I want to get someone else to speak into it for me. And that takes bravery and courage. The counseling is not the broken. It's for the brave. My prayer is that 2020 will be the healthiest year for you in a long, long time. For those of you who are brave enough to pursue health, I think it begins with acknowledging and identifying the unhealthy ways we bring ourselves a sense of security and worth. And doing the work to replace that coping mechanism with one that pushes us towards God's sovereignty and pushes us towards God's love. If we have people in our lives this year that we're trying to love towards mental health, we need to do it with empathy and compassion. And we need to, as a church and as a Christian subculture, destigmatize what it is to get help and admit that we all need it. And it's not for the broken, it's for the brave. I hope that some of you will make courageous choices, even this week. If you do want to talk to a counselor, email me and I'll work to find you a good one. I'm not going to send you to mine, but somebody. If there's someone in your life who is struggling, please, please offer them empathy. Please offer them compassion. Please offer them understanding. Try the best you can to put yourself in their shoes and love them from that perspective. And let's make this year a healthy year. Let's pray. Father, we do love you. We thank you so much for loving us. God, if there is anybody here who feels unworthy, who feels unvaluable, who feels unloved, God, may they just feel a pervasive sense of your love and your compassion wrapping around them today. Help them to hear the voices in their life that speak for you and tell them that they are enough. God, if we feel unsafe or insecure, I pray that you would restore that sense of security with your sovereignty. God, for those here who are struggling, who are sad, or who are anxious, or dealing with a multitude of other things, help them feel your peace today. Help them feel your hope today. Remind them that that hope, your word says, will not be put to shame. God, I pray that we would be healthy, that we would walk in a sense of security in you, of value in you, and that that would enable us to love other people well on your behalf. It's in your son's name we pray, amen.

My name is Nate. I am one of the pastors here. As a pastor, it often falls on me to offer counsel and advice to people. Believe it or not, sometimes people will call the church and ask to talk to a pastor or ask to talk to me or even seek me out individually knowing full well who I am, and they will still ask me for advice on things or what to do in certain situations. And for a long time in those situations at my old church, it was a larger church in the Atlanta area, about 2,000 people. If you called that church, you got funneled to me. I was the one that you would talk to. It was a really talentless staff. So that was my role. And for a long time, my advice in those situations would pretty much default to suck it up. Like, get it together. Quit being a sissy. Let's go. Like, you just got to face the music. You got to stand up. You got to stick your chin out, and you got to take it. And I came by that advice honestly, because for a long time, that's what worked for me. Part of my story is that when I was younger, I was bullied pretty badly. For a couple years, elementary school and then in middle school, there was two kids in my neighborhood who just delighted in tormenting me. And I won't get into all the details of it, but one of the things they would do, just to give you a picture of what fifth grade looked like for Nate, is they were in middle school, so they got home before me. They would hide in the bushes at the bus stop and have an industrial strength rubber band, and they had sniffed it. So it was one big long rubber band, and then when I would get off the bus, they would pop me in the ears and in the neck and in the legs until I would cry or run, and then they would call me names. That was like most days. So we started diversion tactics. I got a letter to get off the bus at other bus stops. My mom would come pick me up at school sometimes, but that was a part of my life, and that was a part of my life for a couple of years. And at some point or another, as a kid, I just realized I can't care so much what they think about me. They would invite me over to play and I'd be like, oh good, we're friends now. And then I would get there and they would just make fun of me until I would go home. And it taught me to have a thick skin. It taught me to not let it affect me when other people pick on me. It taught me to be tough. And at some point in my adolescence, I decided I'm tired of them having this kind of control over me. I'm just going to tough it up. I'm just going to suck it up and figure out how to not care what they think. And that's what I did. And so in adulthood, when an issue came up, my thought was, suck it up. Just don't be a baby. That's what I did. Worked for me. Let's go. And that's kind of the mindset I had several years ago when I got one of those phone calls at the church that I was at. Some guy called the church and just said he was in a real tough way, needed to talk to a pastor. So pick up the phone. Hey, you know, one of the pastors here, what's going on? How can I help you? And he was 31 years old, and he had a girlfriend who had a bit of a drug issue, in his words, and she had just broken up with him. Nobody in his family liked him, liked her, but he was crestfallen over this breakup. And he wanted to know from a pastor, if there is a good God in heaven, how could he allow this girl to break my heart in this way? And I thought, are you freaking kidding me? Like, you're 31. She broke up with you. She's a drug addict. This is a good thing, dude. Get another girlfriend. There's a lot of them. Like, I could not muster any sympathy for this dude. In my life, there was a good friend of mine who had just lost her husband, and I'm comparing and contrasting these tragedies, and I'm like, bro, suck it up. Like take a day, you know, have a beer and then get back to it. It doesn't matter. Like I literally, I was nice to him. I wasn't mean. I had the hardest time caring about this guy's issue. Like the girl broke up with you, man, whatever whatever. And so a couple days after that, I had lunch with a counselor. Every now and again, a counselor will reach out to a pastor and invite you to lunch, and they're basically, they're kind of courting your reference. You want to get to know each other, and they know that I kind of funnel people into counseling, and so that's kind of how that goes. And so we went out to lunch, and we were talking, and I said, hey hey man, let me just ask you a question. So I have to counsel sometimes. Let me get a little bit of advice. I got this call the other day. How would you have handled that? And I told him about the guy's issues and my response. And he kind of thought about it a second and he said, I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, well, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that your parents are together and that you never really had to wonder if they were proud of you. And I said, that's true of me. Yeah, I would say that's true. I said, how'd you know that? And he said, it's just, you just kind of get a sense. I can just tell by the way you carry yourself. He said, I'd be willing to bet that that guy you talked to on the phone probably doesn't have a background like you. He probably doesn't have that family structure to lean on like you did. And he probably values the relationship with that girl and what it did for him and the value that it made him feel a lot more than you ever would. So your ability to detach yourself from that and move on is not the same as his. So I would probably handle that with a little bit more empathy. And I thought, whoa, this dude is smart. I'm going to give him all the referrals. How did he figure that out in 20 minutes of talking to me? I was super impressed. And it also dawned on me in that conversation, because I'm obtuse,ations are always a little bit more nuanced than they seem. And that most of the time when we're talking about issues of mental and emotional health, suck it up is really bad advice. It's really careless and thoughtless and obtuse. And since then, I've rethought about the way that I offer counsel. And that really got my wheels turning on mental health in general. It's something that I care about a lot. I care deeply about how the church engages it because I think historically the church has engaged mental health a little bit like I did. Suck it up and pray it away. Let's go. You're not a good enough Christian. If you were a better Christian, you wouldn't be so sad. So let's lean into God and let's quit being a sissy. And I just think historically that's how we've handled it and that's obtuse. That's not helpful. And more and more, it's being pressed into the national conscience. Last year, we had several athletes come out and say that they were struggling with anxiety, that they were struggling with depression. There was a very high-profile rookie in the NBA who had a terrible rookie year, and he confessed that it was because he struggles greatly with anxiety. There was an offensive lineman, a big, huge bear of a man for the Philadelphia Eagles, I believe, who missed a half of football because he was in the locker room at halftime throwing up because of anxiety attacks and could not get himself out on the field. So more and more we become aware of these things. Every time there's a shooting, then mental health and the epidemic gets thrust into the national conscience. And so as we approached this series and we said, I want a better life, and we thought through the four things that we were going to talk about, I just kind of felt like, based on all of those things, my experiences and what's going on in our culture now, that it would be good to take a Sunday and say, hey, you know what? I want a better me. I want to be more healthy. And so I wanted to take a Sunday and talk to those of you who do struggle with some sort of mental or emotional struggle. I wanted to talk to us as a church, as we encounter and engage and love people in our life who are walking through that struggle. And so as I prepared and thought through what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach it, I actually had a conversation with my therapist. I started seeing a therapist this last summer. And normally when I tell people that I'm in counseling, I immediately tell them why I'm in counseling because I don't want them to think that I'm broken or crazy or that there's something going on. So I want to be very clear, but it's for this really good reason. But as I prepared for this sermon, I thought, I'm going to quit doing that. Because what do I care what you think about how I go to counseling? We need to destigmatize it anyways. So I had a conversation with my therapist. And he's a believer. And he's got a master's in divinity. And so he's very helpful for me. And I said, hey, man, I'm going to be doing a sermon on mental health. What does the church need to know about mental health? What do you wish pastors would say about it? And he said, well, you know, I don't really hear a lot of sermons on mental health, but the ones that I have heard tend to focus on unhealth and what that's like. And I just think that we do a disservice to the church when we don't paint a picture of what health is. So I would invest my time in that. That's interesting. How would you define health? And he defined it essentially this way. He said, a healthy person walks in a sense of security and worth. He said a healthy person, someone who's mentally and emotionally healthy and stable walks in a sense of security and worth. What he meant is, if we're going to be emotionally stable, if we're going to be mentally healthy, then we need to have a sense of security. We need to feel safe. We need to know that everything's going to be okay. If we're walking around in constant fear, a constant uncertainty, or like we've got our eyes covered and we don't know where our next step is going to go, that that's going to cause some mental instability. So we first need to feel secure, but we also need to feel valuable. We need to feel worth. We need to feel like we're enough. We need to feel like we're good enough for other people, that we have some intrinsic value. We need to understand that about ourselves and walk in an actualization and an acknowledgement of that value. So he said, to be healthy, we need to walk in a sense of security and worth. And then he said something that I thought was really interesting. He said that every person gets their boat rocked a little bit. Every person in their life, all of you, at some point or another, have had times where you felt unsafe and had times where you felt unworthy. We've all had our security compromised. We've all had the rug pulled out from under us. We've all felt like, no, this time it's not gonna be okay. And I think more predominantly in the American culture, we've all had times where we don't feel worthy. Some of us feel that pervasively right now. For some of us, the story of our life is this low simmering sense of unworthiness and lack of value and like we're not good enough. And all we've ever done is claw to show ourselves and the people around us that we are actually good enough. Everybody struggles at times to feel secure and to feel worthy. And what he said is, when that happens, healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to get themselves back on track. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to grope for that security and to try to grope for that value. We've seen these unhealthy coping mechanisms, right? Someone feels unsafe, their world feels crazy, and so they become hyper-controlling of their environment all the time. They become, their house has to be clean, and their house doesn't have to be clean because they like a clean house. Their house has to be clean because they've got to exert control over something. And that's not necessarily bad, but it can become unhealthy. Where we see this most is when people exhibit unhealthy coping mechanisms as we lurch for value. This is the girl that far too easily gives herself over to whatever guy will pay attention to her. Because from that guy, she is getting her sense of worth, and that's how she's coping and lurching for that. This is the grown man that still tells you how good of an athlete he was in high school. Because all he's saying is, tell me I'm valuable. Tell me I'm worthy. This is the guy that can't help but brag about whatever it was he did. It's not because he's dumb. It's because he's incredibly insecure and he's groping for value and he doesn't feel it. So he's just looking at you going, can you just tell me I'm awesome? Can you do that, please? He's a 15-year-old kid going, please tell me I'm great. We all do it. As we grow up, we find more nuanced ways to grope for this value, but we do, and it becomes unhealthy. This is where addictions start and get carried on, right? We feel unvaluable. We feel unworthy, we feel unsafe, and so we drink, we medicate, or we find a hobby to numb it, or we refuse to sit in silence. In my research, I saw a great quote from Blaise Pascal that said, all of man's problems can be summed up in his inability to sit in a quiet room alone. Some of us hate the silence. Some of us can't go more than 10 seconds without pulling out our phone to distract ourselves from the things that we don't want to think about. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to bring back and restore that sense of security and worth. And when we think about healthy coping mechanisms, I think this is a good place to insert the spiritual into the conversation as we think about what are some healthy coping mechanisms with a lack of stability or a lack of value that can bring me back to a place of true health. And as I had this conversation with my therapist, I suggested these two things. I said, I think God provides for us these senses in these two ways. And he said, yeah, that's not everything. And I just want to say very clearly, I'm not covering everything that we do and how we handle mental health this morning, but this is a very good start, I think. As we think about healthy coping mechanisms and what it means to be truly healthy, I want to suggest these two things to you, that there's really two pillars of true health. There's security in God's sovereignty and worthiness in God's love. If we want to be healthy people, truly healthy the way that we were designed, we have to walk in a sense of security anchored in God's sovereignty and a sense of worthiness brought about by God's deep and compassionate love for us. That's what true health is. And so a healthy coping mechanism is to acknowledge that God is sovereign, to acknowledge that God is in control, to acknowledge that nothing happens outside of his purview and outside of his will and feel the relief of that. A good coping mechanism is to look around at the people in your life that God has placed in your life who love you and who value you and who are telling you that you are enough and to allow that to be the truth that you hear and not the truth from the detractors. I actually think that these two pillars are some of the greatest things that Christianity has to offer. I think we undervalue the sovereignty of God. One of my favorite verses, group of verses, is Philippians 4, 6, and 7. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the God of peace who transcends all understanding will, listen, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Are you anxious? Are the things keeping you up at night? Does worry characterize you? Pray those things to God. Release them to God. And he says that his peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And what that means is God is saying, I've got it. I'm in control. I'm God. It's going to be okay. Rest easy in my sovereignty. He does this again in Romans 8, where it says, we know that for those who love him and are called according to his purpose, that all things work together for the good of those who love him. Everything works together for the good of those who love him are called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 tells us everything's going to work out. Even if it doesn't work out now, it will work out eventually. It's a beautiful promise from God. I saw a clip of a pastor doing the funeral for his mother that he lost far too early. And he said some amazing things. He said, you know, with God, all of our prayers are answered. I was praying so much for my mom to live, and then she died. He said it disillusioned him for a little bit. But what he realized was he was thinking about it wrong. And it dawned on him that in God, all his prayers are answered because she knew Jesus. So as he prayed for his mom to live, the truth of it is either she's going to live or she was gonna live. She was gonna be okay or she was gonna be okay. She was gonna be with family or she was gonna go be with family. God is good or God is good. This is the sovereignty that he offers us. And one of my favorite passages that I mentioned often, Revelation 21, paints this beautiful picture where it says the end of days that we will be with God and he will be with his people and there will be no more weeping and no more crying and no more pain anymore for the former things have passed away. There is a sovereignty and a peace that God promises throughout scripture. Scripture is replete with these promises. And if we want to be healthy and cling onto a sense of stability and know that everything is okay, even when we don't see how it's going to be okay, then we cling to the sovereignty of God that is laced throughout Scripture, and we know that it's going to be okay, even if it doesn't make sense to me. And I believe that a healthy person reminds themselves of the sovereignty of God and rests easy in that and not in their own control. The next thing we do is we rest in God's love. We know the Bible tells us God loves us. We know John 3.16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. God tells us that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without his knowledge, so how much more does he care about you that the numbers of hairs on your head are numbered? He knows you that well and that intimately. He tells us that if your earthly father knows how to give you a good gift, how much better are my gifts? He tells us that we know that we are loved because while we were still sinners, he died for us. He tells us that we are able to love him because he first loved us. From God, if you listen, is a constant, pervasive, never fatiguing voice that says, you are enough. I love you. You do not have to perform for me. You don't have to be good for me. You don't have to sell for me. You don't have to execute for me. You don't have to impress me. I love you as much as I'm ever going to love you. And to be healthy is to walk in an acknowledgement of that love and not need the accolades of others and not be so desperate for the approval of this group because I'm walking with the approval of my God. And if you give me it too, that's great, but I don't need it because God gives it to me. That's what health looks like. Have you ever met somebody who is so comfortable in their own skin that you just marvel at it? To me, that's a person who walks knowing that God loves me and I'm good. That's what health is. So if we want to be a healthy person, we need to quiet the voices that are telling us we're not enough and listen to the pervasive and persistent voice of God that tells us that we are. As we think about ourselves pursuing mental and emotional health, I think the best, most practical way to do that is to pursue health. We need to identify poor coping mechanisms in our life and pursue healthy ones. If we're going to be mentally healthy, if we're in a state this morning where we feel given towards depression, if we feel given towards anxiety, if we feel given towards just unhealth, I think a good exercise is to identify the unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist in our life. And listen, we all have them. One of the things I'm more certain of than ever, especially in being in counseling, is that we are all a bundle and an alchemy of insecurities and coping mechanisms to present ourselves as enough, all of us. So the best thing we can do is try to identify where these coping mechanisms are and pursue them and pursue healthy ones. But I don't just want to talk about us, how we pursue health. I think one of the big questions the church faces and some of us in our life faces, if I have people in my life who are not healthy, how do I love them towards health? What can we do to love other people towards emotional and mental health? I think two things I would suggest to you this morning. The first would be to offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. To offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. Hebrews tells us that Christ took on flesh, that he bore our infirmities, that he was tempted in the ways that we are tempted, so that he understood our plight, so that when we pray to our Savior, we're not praying to someone who is altogether unfamiliar with the human condition. We're praying to someone who is empathetic with us and therefore compassionate towards us. Do you realize that empathy is the birthplace of compassion? That empathy begats compassion. That the thing that happened with me and that guy that called the church that day, I had zero empathy for him. Therefore, I had zero compassion. It made no sense to me how he was that broken up about that. I could not put myself in his shoes of caring that much that I would doubt the existence of God because a girl dumped me. And so I had no compassion for him. But when I had that conversation with the counselor, and I realized the nuances of what was going on in the conversation that I had with that guy, the thought occurred to me, you know what? If I didn't grow up the way that I grew up in the house that I grew up in, it's entirely possible that I would handle that situation just like he does. And that I'm not tough. I didn't just learn to suck it up. I'm just the benefit of a good environment with good coping mechanisms. And the truth of it is, if you think about me as a little kid, I said I learned to suck it up early. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't decide as a 12-year-old to get tough. No one gets tough at 12. I was in an environment where I was loved by family and by people at church. And that reminded me of my worthiness. My parents breathed scripture into me and that reminded me of God's sovereignty. And I begun to cling to those things. And I wouldn't have articulated it like this at the time, but all that happened is I had to simply develop healthy coping mechanisms for feeling unsafe and unworthy. And the guy that I was talking to on the phone that day had never had the opportunity to develop those. So the first thing we do with people who are experiencing unhealth is we offer empathy. And we acknowledge and admit that even if we don't understand, even if we've never felt that way before, if you change the alchemy of my life and you make the circumstances the same and you run me through the ringer that they went through, there's a very good chance I would come out the other side feeling and thinking and acting the same way that they do. So don't think that we're for a second better than them or more stable than them or tougher than them or stronger than them. We have a different background than they do. And when we can acknowledge that we would be the same person they are, that produces in us empathy. And out of that empathy comes compassion, where we realize some of the worst possible advice would be to suck it up or to pray it away, that we need to first be empathetic with them and understand. And empathy is also the acknowledgement that sometimes when people are dealing with a mental health issue, it's a chemical imbalance. They are sick. Looking at someone who is depressed and telling them to suck it up is like looking at someone with the flu and telling them to run a couple miles. It's useless advice. All it does is make you look dumb and then feel bad. We've got to offer empathy, which produces in us a Christ-like compassion. To help us offer empathy, I wanted to share with you some statistics that I found in the research that I've been doing. These are from the National Mental Health Institute, Institute of Mental Health. What I learned is that a quarter or 20% of U.S. citizens exhibit some symptoms of mental illness. Now, that's a wide brush. That's mild depression all the way to extreme schizophrenia, okay? But 20%, one in five of you, look down the row within two people and one of them is crazy, right? That's a lot. It affects a lot of us. Now, here's what I think is really interesting. It says that there's 22% of women and 15% of men deal with mental health issues. Now, here's what that doesn't mean, that men have it together more than women do. What it means is they're more honest than us and you're a stubborn jerk. That's what that means. You just can't admit that you're struggling. You just fold your arms and pretend like everything's okay. And it only gets worse because 26% of millennials of 18 to 25 say that they experienced some sort of mental illness or exhibit signs of that. Only 14% of ages 50 and older. Now listen, I don't think for a second that you people who are 50 and older in this room have just have life so figured out and all your coping skills so nailed that you're the healthiest bunch in the room. Listen, if you're a dude over 50 and you're like, I don't struggle with depression. Yes, you do. You're just stubborn. Listen, all of us at some point have experienced a season of melancholy. We all have. If you haven't, you're a psychopath or you're not paying attention. All of us experience anxiety in excessive ways. Everybody in this room has had a suicidal thought. Everybody. The difference with healthy and unhealthy is how we cope with those things. I also thought it was really interesting that 50% of adolescents show sign of a mental disorder. And if we understand that health is to walk in a sense of stability and worth, is it any wonder that half of our high school students have no idea how to cling on to stability and worth? We are all of us broken. We are all of us at times weak and in need of help. There is none of us in here who is singularly and individually strong and healthy. And we need to acknowledge that as we seek to offer empathy to others. The next thing we can do to love people towards health is to celebrate courageous choices. We need to start celebrating courageous choices. When somebody makes a decision to get help, when somebody makes a decision to be vulnerable and confess, we need to praise those things. We need to celebrate those things. We don't need to deride those things. I've talked a lot about counseling in this sermon. One of the things that breaks my heart is that counseling gets such a stigma that people, when you start talking about going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that we automatically think, man, only broken people do that. What's going on in your life? What can you not get together yourself? Why do you need help that you need to go talk to a professional to do that? Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? What have you failed at? How did you ruin your marriage? When did you get fired? We just assume that when people are going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that there's something broken in them. But here's the thing, there's something broken in all of us, so we need to stop it. Sometimes, most of the time, the unhealthy coping mechanisms that we have are so deeply embedded and ingrained in us that we can't see them. We don't know how to find them ourselves. And we need a trained professional to talk with us and help us see those and then help us see a way through them. We need trained professionals who are more than pastors. I'm very quick to go, listen, I wanna try to help you as best I can. I'm gonna pray for you. You need to talk to a therapist, not because you're crazy, but because they're good at it. The other thing I've learned is when you talk to somebody who will say, I should really go speak to a counselor about this. A lot of times they won't. And at first they won't because it's a pride thing. I don't want to do that. I don't want people to see me parking at that office. I don't want people to think that there's something wrong with me. I don't want people to think that I can't handle it or that I'm weak somehow. I don't want all the stuff that goes with seeing a counselor. So I'm not gonna go do that. And it seems like pride. But when you start to peel back the layers, what you find is that it's really fear. I'm convinced that the reason, if you're thinking about seeing a counselor, getting help, working through some unhealth in your life, I'm convinced that one of the big reasons we don't do that is because we know good and well what we're going to have to walk through when we get there. We don't want to have to look at ourselves in the mirror. It is easier to cope. It is easier to demur. It is easier to distract than it is to confront. And so we keep walking away from our unhealthy selves instead of turning and allowing someone to hold up a mirror and show us and work through it and walk through it and emerge on the other side more healthy. It's often fear that keeps us from getting help, not pride. And so I want you to know this morning that I think it takes bravery to go get help. And I actually think, and I would love for our church to start thinking about it this way, that counseling is not for the broken. It's for the brave. Counseling is not for broken people. It's for brave people. If it were for broken people, then we'd all be in it because we're all broken. But at some point or another, you have to take a step and make a decision that I want some help. I want to be healthy. I want somebody else's voice in this conversation helping me identify the unhealthy pockets in my life to restoring me to my God-given sense of security and value and love. And since I can't find my way out of this mess myself, I want to get someone else to speak into it for me. And that takes bravery and courage. The counseling is not the broken. It's for the brave. My prayer is that 2020 will be the healthiest year for you in a long, long time. For those of you who are brave enough to pursue health, I think it begins with acknowledging and identifying the unhealthy ways we bring ourselves a sense of security and worth. And doing the work to replace that coping mechanism with one that pushes us towards God's sovereignty and pushes us towards God's love. If we have people in our lives this year that we're trying to love towards mental health, we need to do it with empathy and compassion. And we need to, as a church and as a Christian subculture, destigmatize what it is to get help and admit that we all need it. And it's not for the broken, it's for the brave. I hope that some of you will make courageous choices, even this week. If you do want to talk to a counselor, email me and I'll work to find you a good one. I'm not going to send you to mine, but somebody. If there's someone in your life who is struggling, please, please offer them empathy. Please offer them compassion. Please offer them understanding. Try the best you can to put yourself in their shoes and love them from that perspective. And let's make this year a healthy year. Let's pray. Father, we do love you. We thank you so much for loving us. God, if there is anybody here who feels unworthy, who feels unvaluable, who feels unloved, God, may they just feel a pervasive sense of your love and your compassion wrapping around them today. Help them to hear the voices in their life that speak for you and tell them that they are enough. God, if we feel unsafe or insecure, I pray that you would restore that sense of security with your sovereignty. God, for those here who are struggling, who are sad, or who are anxious, or dealing with a multitude of other things, help them feel your peace today. Help them feel your hope today. Remind them that that hope, your word says, will not be put to shame. God, I pray that we would be healthy, that we would walk in a sense of security in you, of value in you, and that that would enable us to love other people well on your behalf. It's in your son's name we pray, amen.

My name is Nate. I am one of the pastors here. As a pastor, it often falls on me to offer counsel and advice to people. Believe it or not, sometimes people will call the church and ask to talk to a pastor or ask to talk to me or even seek me out individually knowing full well who I am, and they will still ask me for advice on things or what to do in certain situations. And for a long time in those situations at my old church, it was a larger church in the Atlanta area, about 2,000 people. If you called that church, you got funneled to me. I was the one that you would talk to. It was a really talentless staff. So that was my role. And for a long time, my advice in those situations would pretty much default to suck it up. Like, get it together. Quit being a sissy. Let's go. Like, you just got to face the music. You got to stand up. You got to stick your chin out, and you got to take it. And I came by that advice honestly, because for a long time, that's what worked for me. Part of my story is that when I was younger, I was bullied pretty badly. For a couple years, elementary school and then in middle school, there was two kids in my neighborhood who just delighted in tormenting me. And I won't get into all the details of it, but one of the things they would do, just to give you a picture of what fifth grade looked like for Nate, is they were in middle school, so they got home before me. They would hide in the bushes at the bus stop and have an industrial strength rubber band, and they had sniffed it. So it was one big long rubber band, and then when I would get off the bus, they would pop me in the ears and in the neck and in the legs until I would cry or run, and then they would call me names. That was like most days. So we started diversion tactics. I got a letter to get off the bus at other bus stops. My mom would come pick me up at school sometimes, but that was a part of my life, and that was a part of my life for a couple of years. And at some point or another, as a kid, I just realized I can't care so much what they think about me. They would invite me over to play and I'd be like, oh good, we're friends now. And then I would get there and they would just make fun of me until I would go home. And it taught me to have a thick skin. It taught me to not let it affect me when other people pick on me. It taught me to be tough. And at some point in my adolescence, I decided I'm tired of them having this kind of control over me. I'm just going to tough it up. I'm just going to suck it up and figure out how to not care what they think. And that's what I did. And so in adulthood, when an issue came up, my thought was, suck it up. Just don't be a baby. That's what I did. Worked for me. Let's go. And that's kind of the mindset I had several years ago when I got one of those phone calls at the church that I was at. Some guy called the church and just said he was in a real tough way, needed to talk to a pastor. So pick up the phone. Hey, you know, one of the pastors here, what's going on? How can I help you? And he was 31 years old, and he had a girlfriend who had a bit of a drug issue, in his words, and she had just broken up with him. Nobody in his family liked him, liked her, but he was crestfallen over this breakup. And he wanted to know from a pastor, if there is a good God in heaven, how could he allow this girl to break my heart in this way? And I thought, are you freaking kidding me? Like, you're 31. She broke up with you. She's a drug addict. This is a good thing, dude. Get another girlfriend. There's a lot of them. Like, I could not muster any sympathy for this dude. In my life, there was a good friend of mine who had just lost her husband, and I'm comparing and contrasting these tragedies, and I'm like, bro, suck it up. Like take a day, you know, have a beer and then get back to it. It doesn't matter. Like I literally, I was nice to him. I wasn't mean. I had the hardest time caring about this guy's issue. Like the girl broke up with you, man, whatever whatever. And so a couple days after that, I had lunch with a counselor. Every now and again, a counselor will reach out to a pastor and invite you to lunch, and they're basically, they're kind of courting your reference. You want to get to know each other, and they know that I kind of funnel people into counseling, and so that's kind of how that goes. And so we went out to lunch, and we were talking, and I said, hey hey man, let me just ask you a question. So I have to counsel sometimes. Let me get a little bit of advice. I got this call the other day. How would you have handled that? And I told him about the guy's issues and my response. And he kind of thought about it a second and he said, I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, well, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that your parents are together and that you never really had to wonder if they were proud of you. And I said, that's true of me. Yeah, I would say that's true. I said, how'd you know that? And he said, it's just, you just kind of get a sense. I can just tell by the way you carry yourself. He said, I'd be willing to bet that that guy you talked to on the phone probably doesn't have a background like you. He probably doesn't have that family structure to lean on like you did. And he probably values the relationship with that girl and what it did for him and the value that it made him feel a lot more than you ever would. So your ability to detach yourself from that and move on is not the same as his. So I would probably handle that with a little bit more empathy. And I thought, whoa, this dude is smart. I'm going to give him all the referrals. How did he figure that out in 20 minutes of talking to me? I was super impressed. And it also dawned on me in that conversation, because I'm obtuse,ations are always a little bit more nuanced than they seem. And that most of the time when we're talking about issues of mental and emotional health, suck it up is really bad advice. It's really careless and thoughtless and obtuse. And since then, I've rethought about the way that I offer counsel. And that really got my wheels turning on mental health in general. It's something that I care about a lot. I care deeply about how the church engages it because I think historically the church has engaged mental health a little bit like I did. Suck it up and pray it away. Let's go. You're not a good enough Christian. If you were a better Christian, you wouldn't be so sad. So let's lean into God and let's quit being a sissy. And I just think historically that's how we've handled it and that's obtuse. That's not helpful. And more and more, it's being pressed into the national conscience. Last year, we had several athletes come out and say that they were struggling with anxiety, that they were struggling with depression. There was a very high-profile rookie in the NBA who had a terrible rookie year, and he confessed that it was because he struggles greatly with anxiety. There was an offensive lineman, a big, huge bear of a man for the Philadelphia Eagles, I believe, who missed a half of football because he was in the locker room at halftime throwing up because of anxiety attacks and could not get himself out on the field. So more and more we become aware of these things. Every time there's a shooting, then mental health and the epidemic gets thrust into the national conscience. And so as we approached this series and we said, I want a better life, and we thought through the four things that we were going to talk about, I just kind of felt like, based on all of those things, my experiences and what's going on in our culture now, that it would be good to take a Sunday and say, hey, you know what? I want a better me. I want to be more healthy. And so I wanted to take a Sunday and talk to those of you who do struggle with some sort of mental or emotional struggle. I wanted to talk to us as a church, as we encounter and engage and love people in our life who are walking through that struggle. And so as I prepared and thought through what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach it, I actually had a conversation with my therapist. I started seeing a therapist this last summer. And normally when I tell people that I'm in counseling, I immediately tell them why I'm in counseling because I don't want them to think that I'm broken or crazy or that there's something going on. So I want to be very clear, but it's for this really good reason. But as I prepared for this sermon, I thought, I'm going to quit doing that. Because what do I care what you think about how I go to counseling? We need to destigmatize it anyways. So I had a conversation with my therapist. And he's a believer. And he's got a master's in divinity. And so he's very helpful for me. And I said, hey, man, I'm going to be doing a sermon on mental health. What does the church need to know about mental health? What do you wish pastors would say about it? And he said, well, you know, I don't really hear a lot of sermons on mental health, but the ones that I have heard tend to focus on unhealth and what that's like. And I just think that we do a disservice to the church when we don't paint a picture of what health is. So I would invest my time in that. That's interesting. How would you define health? And he defined it essentially this way. He said, a healthy person walks in a sense of security and worth. He said a healthy person, someone who's mentally and emotionally healthy and stable walks in a sense of security and worth. What he meant is, if we're going to be emotionally stable, if we're going to be mentally healthy, then we need to have a sense of security. We need to feel safe. We need to know that everything's going to be okay. If we're walking around in constant fear, a constant uncertainty, or like we've got our eyes covered and we don't know where our next step is going to go, that that's going to cause some mental instability. So we first need to feel secure, but we also need to feel valuable. We need to feel worth. We need to feel like we're enough. We need to feel like we're good enough for other people, that we have some intrinsic value. We need to understand that about ourselves and walk in an actualization and an acknowledgement of that value. So he said, to be healthy, we need to walk in a sense of security and worth. And then he said something that I thought was really interesting. He said that every person gets their boat rocked a little bit. Every person in their life, all of you, at some point or another, have had times where you felt unsafe and had times where you felt unworthy. We've all had our security compromised. We've all had the rug pulled out from under us. We've all felt like, no, this time it's not gonna be okay. And I think more predominantly in the American culture, we've all had times where we don't feel worthy. Some of us feel that pervasively right now. For some of us, the story of our life is this low simmering sense of unworthiness and lack of value and like we're not good enough. And all we've ever done is claw to show ourselves and the people around us that we are actually good enough. Everybody struggles at times to feel secure and to feel worthy. And what he said is, when that happens, healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to get themselves back on track. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to grope for that security and to try to grope for that value. We've seen these unhealthy coping mechanisms, right? Someone feels unsafe, their world feels crazy, and so they become hyper-controlling of their environment all the time. They become, their house has to be clean, and their house doesn't have to be clean because they like a clean house. Their house has to be clean because they've got to exert control over something. And that's not necessarily bad, but it can become unhealthy. Where we see this most is when people exhibit unhealthy coping mechanisms as we lurch for value. This is the girl that far too easily gives herself over to whatever guy will pay attention to her. Because from that guy, she is getting her sense of worth, and that's how she's coping and lurching for that. This is the grown man that still tells you how good of an athlete he was in high school. Because all he's saying is, tell me I'm valuable. Tell me I'm worthy. This is the guy that can't help but brag about whatever it was he did. It's not because he's dumb. It's because he's incredibly insecure and he's groping for value and he doesn't feel it. So he's just looking at you going, can you just tell me I'm awesome? Can you do that, please? He's a 15-year-old kid going, please tell me I'm great. We all do it. As we grow up, we find more nuanced ways to grope for this value, but we do, and it becomes unhealthy. This is where addictions start and get carried on, right? We feel unvaluable. We feel unworthy, we feel unsafe, and so we drink, we medicate, or we find a hobby to numb it, or we refuse to sit in silence. In my research, I saw a great quote from Blaise Pascal that said, all of man's problems can be summed up in his inability to sit in a quiet room alone. Some of us hate the silence. Some of us can't go more than 10 seconds without pulling out our phone to distract ourselves from the things that we don't want to think about. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to bring back and restore that sense of security and worth. And when we think about healthy coping mechanisms, I think this is a good place to insert the spiritual into the conversation as we think about what are some healthy coping mechanisms with a lack of stability or a lack of value that can bring me back to a place of true health. And as I had this conversation with my therapist, I suggested these two things. I said, I think God provides for us these senses in these two ways. And he said, yeah, that's not everything. And I just want to say very clearly, I'm not covering everything that we do and how we handle mental health this morning, but this is a very good start, I think. As we think about healthy coping mechanisms and what it means to be truly healthy, I want to suggest these two things to you, that there's really two pillars of true health. There's security in God's sovereignty and worthiness in God's love. If we want to be healthy people, truly healthy the way that we were designed, we have to walk in a sense of security anchored in God's sovereignty and a sense of worthiness brought about by God's deep and compassionate love for us. That's what true health is. And so a healthy coping mechanism is to acknowledge that God is sovereign, to acknowledge that God is in control, to acknowledge that nothing happens outside of his purview and outside of his will and feel the relief of that. A good coping mechanism is to look around at the people in your life that God has placed in your life who love you and who value you and who are telling you that you are enough and to allow that to be the truth that you hear and not the truth from the detractors. I actually think that these two pillars are some of the greatest things that Christianity has to offer. I think we undervalue the sovereignty of God. One of my favorite verses, group of verses, is Philippians 4, 6, and 7. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the God of peace who transcends all understanding will, listen, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Are you anxious? Are the things keeping you up at night? Does worry characterize you? Pray those things to God. Release them to God. And he says that his peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And what that means is God is saying, I've got it. I'm in control. I'm God. It's going to be okay. Rest easy in my sovereignty. He does this again in Romans 8, where it says, we know that for those who love him and are called according to his purpose, that all things work together for the good of those who love him. Everything works together for the good of those who love him are called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 tells us everything's going to work out. Even if it doesn't work out now, it will work out eventually. It's a beautiful promise from God. I saw a clip of a pastor doing the funeral for his mother that he lost far too early. And he said some amazing things. He said, you know, with God, all of our prayers are answered. I was praying so much for my mom to live, and then she died. He said it disillusioned him for a little bit. But what he realized was he was thinking about it wrong. And it dawned on him that in God, all his prayers are answered because she knew Jesus. So as he prayed for his mom to live, the truth of it is either she's going to live or she was gonna live. She was gonna be okay or she was gonna be okay. She was gonna be with family or she was gonna go be with family. God is good or God is good. This is the sovereignty that he offers us. And one of my favorite passages that I mentioned often, Revelation 21, paints this beautiful picture where it says the end of days that we will be with God and he will be with his people and there will be no more weeping and no more crying and no more pain anymore for the former things have passed away. There is a sovereignty and a peace that God promises throughout scripture. Scripture is replete with these promises. And if we want to be healthy and cling onto a sense of stability and know that everything is okay, even when we don't see how it's going to be okay, then we cling to the sovereignty of God that is laced throughout Scripture, and we know that it's going to be okay, even if it doesn't make sense to me. And I believe that a healthy person reminds themselves of the sovereignty of God and rests easy in that and not in their own control. The next thing we do is we rest in God's love. We know the Bible tells us God loves us. We know John 3.16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. God tells us that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without his knowledge, so how much more does he care about you that the numbers of hairs on your head are numbered? He knows you that well and that intimately. He tells us that if your earthly father knows how to give you a good gift, how much better are my gifts? He tells us that we know that we are loved because while we were still sinners, he died for us. He tells us that we are able to love him because he first loved us. From God, if you listen, is a constant, pervasive, never fatiguing voice that says, you are enough. I love you. You do not have to perform for me. You don't have to be good for me. You don't have to sell for me. You don't have to execute for me. You don't have to impress me. I love you as much as I'm ever going to love you. And to be healthy is to walk in an acknowledgement of that love and not need the accolades of others and not be so desperate for the approval of this group because I'm walking with the approval of my God. And if you give me it too, that's great, but I don't need it because God gives it to me. That's what health looks like. Have you ever met somebody who is so comfortable in their own skin that you just marvel at it? To me, that's a person who walks knowing that God loves me and I'm good. That's what health is. So if we want to be a healthy person, we need to quiet the voices that are telling us we're not enough and listen to the pervasive and persistent voice of God that tells us that we are. As we think about ourselves pursuing mental and emotional health, I think the best, most practical way to do that is to pursue health. We need to identify poor coping mechanisms in our life and pursue healthy ones. If we're going to be mentally healthy, if we're in a state this morning where we feel given towards depression, if we feel given towards anxiety, if we feel given towards just unhealth, I think a good exercise is to identify the unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist in our life. And listen, we all have them. One of the things I'm more certain of than ever, especially in being in counseling, is that we are all a bundle and an alchemy of insecurities and coping mechanisms to present ourselves as enough, all of us. So the best thing we can do is try to identify where these coping mechanisms are and pursue them and pursue healthy ones. But I don't just want to talk about us, how we pursue health. I think one of the big questions the church faces and some of us in our life faces, if I have people in my life who are not healthy, how do I love them towards health? What can we do to love other people towards emotional and mental health? I think two things I would suggest to you this morning. The first would be to offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. To offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. Hebrews tells us that Christ took on flesh, that he bore our infirmities, that he was tempted in the ways that we are tempted, so that he understood our plight, so that when we pray to our Savior, we're not praying to someone who is altogether unfamiliar with the human condition. We're praying to someone who is empathetic with us and therefore compassionate towards us. Do you realize that empathy is the birthplace of compassion? That empathy begats compassion. That the thing that happened with me and that guy that called the church that day, I had zero empathy for him. Therefore, I had zero compassion. It made no sense to me how he was that broken up about that. I could not put myself in his shoes of caring that much that I would doubt the existence of God because a girl dumped me. And so I had no compassion for him. But when I had that conversation with the counselor, and I realized the nuances of what was going on in the conversation that I had with that guy, the thought occurred to me, you know what? If I didn't grow up the way that I grew up in the house that I grew up in, it's entirely possible that I would handle that situation just like he does. And that I'm not tough. I didn't just learn to suck it up. I'm just the benefit of a good environment with good coping mechanisms. And the truth of it is, if you think about me as a little kid, I said I learned to suck it up early. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't decide as a 12-year-old to get tough. No one gets tough at 12. I was in an environment where I was loved by family and by people at church. And that reminded me of my worthiness. My parents breathed scripture into me and that reminded me of God's sovereignty. And I begun to cling to those things. And I wouldn't have articulated it like this at the time, but all that happened is I had to simply develop healthy coping mechanisms for feeling unsafe and unworthy. And the guy that I was talking to on the phone that day had never had the opportunity to develop those. So the first thing we do with people who are experiencing unhealth is we offer empathy. And we acknowledge and admit that even if we don't understand, even if we've never felt that way before, if you change the alchemy of my life and you make the circumstances the same and you run me through the ringer that they went through, there's a very good chance I would come out the other side feeling and thinking and acting the same way that they do. So don't think that we're for a second better than them or more stable than them or tougher than them or stronger than them. We have a different background than they do. And when we can acknowledge that we would be the same person they are, that produces in us empathy. And out of that empathy comes compassion, where we realize some of the worst possible advice would be to suck it up or to pray it away, that we need to first be empathetic with them and understand. And empathy is also the acknowledgement that sometimes when people are dealing with a mental health issue, it's a chemical imbalance. They are sick. Looking at someone who is depressed and telling them to suck it up is like looking at someone with the flu and telling them to run a couple miles. It's useless advice. All it does is make you look dumb and then feel bad. We've got to offer empathy, which produces in us a Christ-like compassion. To help us offer empathy, I wanted to share with you some statistics that I found in the research that I've been doing. These are from the National Mental Health Institute, Institute of Mental Health. What I learned is that a quarter or 20% of U.S. citizens exhibit some symptoms of mental illness. Now, that's a wide brush. That's mild depression all the way to extreme schizophrenia, okay? But 20%, one in five of you, look down the row within two people and one of them is crazy, right? That's a lot. It affects a lot of us. Now, here's what I think is really interesting. It says that there's 22% of women and 15% of men deal with mental health issues. Now, here's what that doesn't mean, that men have it together more than women do. What it means is they're more honest than us and you're a stubborn jerk. That's what that means. You just can't admit that you're struggling. You just fold your arms and pretend like everything's okay. And it only gets worse because 26% of millennials of 18 to 25 say that they experienced some sort of mental illness or exhibit signs of that. Only 14% of ages 50 and older. Now listen, I don't think for a second that you people who are 50 and older in this room have just have life so figured out and all your coping skills so nailed that you're the healthiest bunch in the room. Listen, if you're a dude over 50 and you're like, I don't struggle with depression. Yes, you do. You're just stubborn. Listen, all of us at some point have experienced a season of melancholy. We all have. If you haven't, you're a psychopath or you're not paying attention. All of us experience anxiety in excessive ways. Everybody in this room has had a suicidal thought. Everybody. The difference with healthy and unhealthy is how we cope with those things. I also thought it was really interesting that 50% of adolescents show sign of a mental disorder. And if we understand that health is to walk in a sense of stability and worth, is it any wonder that half of our high school students have no idea how to cling on to stability and worth? We are all of us broken. We are all of us at times weak and in need of help. There is none of us in here who is singularly and individually strong and healthy. And we need to acknowledge that as we seek to offer empathy to others. The next thing we can do to love people towards health is to celebrate courageous choices. We need to start celebrating courageous choices. When somebody makes a decision to get help, when somebody makes a decision to be vulnerable and confess, we need to praise those things. We need to celebrate those things. We don't need to deride those things. I've talked a lot about counseling in this sermon. One of the things that breaks my heart is that counseling gets such a stigma that people, when you start talking about going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that we automatically think, man, only broken people do that. What's going on in your life? What can you not get together yourself? Why do you need help that you need to go talk to a professional to do that? Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? What have you failed at? How did you ruin your marriage? When did you get fired? We just assume that when people are going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that there's something broken in them. But here's the thing, there's something broken in all of us, so we need to stop it. Sometimes, most of the time, the unhealthy coping mechanisms that we have are so deeply embedded and ingrained in us that we can't see them. We don't know how to find them ourselves. And we need a trained professional to talk with us and help us see those and then help us see a way through them. We need trained professionals who are more than pastors. I'm very quick to go, listen, I wanna try to help you as best I can. I'm gonna pray for you. You need to talk to a therapist, not because you're crazy, but because they're good at it. The other thing I've learned is when you talk to somebody who will say, I should really go speak to a counselor about this. A lot of times they won't. And at first they won't because it's a pride thing. I don't want to do that. I don't want people to see me parking at that office. I don't want people to think that there's something wrong with me. I don't want people to think that I can't handle it or that I'm weak somehow. I don't want all the stuff that goes with seeing a counselor. So I'm not gonna go do that. And it seems like pride. But when you start to peel back the layers, what you find is that it's really fear. I'm convinced that the reason, if you're thinking about seeing a counselor, getting help, working through some unhealth in your life, I'm convinced that one of the big reasons we don't do that is because we know good and well what we're going to have to walk through when we get there. We don't want to have to look at ourselves in the mirror. It is easier to cope. It is easier to demur. It is easier to distract than it is to confront. And so we keep walking away from our unhealthy selves instead of turning and allowing someone to hold up a mirror and show us and work through it and walk through it and emerge on the other side more healthy. It's often fear that keeps us from getting help, not pride. And so I want you to know this morning that I think it takes bravery to go get help. And I actually think, and I would love for our church to start thinking about it this way, that counseling is not for the broken. It's for the brave. Counseling is not for broken people. It's for brave people. If it were for broken people, then we'd all be in it because we're all broken. But at some point or another, you have to take a step and make a decision that I want some help. I want to be healthy. I want somebody else's voice in this conversation helping me identify the unhealthy pockets in my life to restoring me to my God-given sense of security and value and love. And since I can't find my way out of this mess myself, I want to get someone else to speak into it for me. And that takes bravery and courage. The counseling is not the broken. It's for the brave. My prayer is that 2020 will be the healthiest year for you in a long, long time. For those of you who are brave enough to pursue health, I think it begins with acknowledging and identifying the unhealthy ways we bring ourselves a sense of security and worth. And doing the work to replace that coping mechanism with one that pushes us towards God's sovereignty and pushes us towards God's love. If we have people in our lives this year that we're trying to love towards mental health, we need to do it with empathy and compassion. And we need to, as a church and as a Christian subculture, destigmatize what it is to get help and admit that we all need it. And it's not for the broken, it's for the brave. I hope that some of you will make courageous choices, even this week. If you do want to talk to a counselor, email me and I'll work to find you a good one. I'm not going to send you to mine, but somebody. If there's someone in your life who is struggling, please, please offer them empathy. Please offer them compassion. Please offer them understanding. Try the best you can to put yourself in their shoes and love them from that perspective. And let's make this year a healthy year. Let's pray. Father, we do love you. We thank you so much for loving us. God, if there is anybody here who feels unworthy, who feels unvaluable, who feels unloved, God, may they just feel a pervasive sense of your love and your compassion wrapping around them today. Help them to hear the voices in their life that speak for you and tell them that they are enough. God, if we feel unsafe or insecure, I pray that you would restore that sense of security with your sovereignty. God, for those here who are struggling, who are sad, or who are anxious, or dealing with a multitude of other things, help them feel your peace today. Help them feel your hope today. Remind them that that hope, your word says, will not be put to shame. God, I pray that we would be healthy, that we would walk in a sense of security in you, of value in you, and that that would enable us to love other people well on your behalf. It's in your son's name we pray, amen.

My name is Nate. I am one of the pastors here. As a pastor, it often falls on me to offer counsel and advice to people. Believe it or not, sometimes people will call the church and ask to talk to a pastor or ask to talk to me or even seek me out individually knowing full well who I am, and they will still ask me for advice on things or what to do in certain situations. And for a long time in those situations at my old church, it was a larger church in the Atlanta area, about 2,000 people. If you called that church, you got funneled to me. I was the one that you would talk to. It was a really talentless staff. So that was my role. And for a long time, my advice in those situations would pretty much default to suck it up. Like, get it together. Quit being a sissy. Let's go. Like, you just got to face the music. You got to stand up. You got to stick your chin out, and you got to take it. And I came by that advice honestly, because for a long time, that's what worked for me. Part of my story is that when I was younger, I was bullied pretty badly. For a couple years, elementary school and then in middle school, there was two kids in my neighborhood who just delighted in tormenting me. And I won't get into all the details of it, but one of the things they would do, just to give you a picture of what fifth grade looked like for Nate, is they were in middle school, so they got home before me. They would hide in the bushes at the bus stop and have an industrial strength rubber band, and they had sniffed it. So it was one big long rubber band, and then when I would get off the bus, they would pop me in the ears and in the neck and in the legs until I would cry or run, and then they would call me names. That was like most days. So we started diversion tactics. I got a letter to get off the bus at other bus stops. My mom would come pick me up at school sometimes, but that was a part of my life, and that was a part of my life for a couple of years. And at some point or another, as a kid, I just realized I can't care so much what they think about me. They would invite me over to play and I'd be like, oh good, we're friends now. And then I would get there and they would just make fun of me until I would go home. And it taught me to have a thick skin. It taught me to not let it affect me when other people pick on me. It taught me to be tough. And at some point in my adolescence, I decided I'm tired of them having this kind of control over me. I'm just going to tough it up. I'm just going to suck it up and figure out how to not care what they think. And that's what I did. And so in adulthood, when an issue came up, my thought was, suck it up. Just don't be a baby. That's what I did. Worked for me. Let's go. And that's kind of the mindset I had several years ago when I got one of those phone calls at the church that I was at. Some guy called the church and just said he was in a real tough way, needed to talk to a pastor. So pick up the phone. Hey, you know, one of the pastors here, what's going on? How can I help you? And he was 31 years old, and he had a girlfriend who had a bit of a drug issue, in his words, and she had just broken up with him. Nobody in his family liked him, liked her, but he was crestfallen over this breakup. And he wanted to know from a pastor, if there is a good God in heaven, how could he allow this girl to break my heart in this way? And I thought, are you freaking kidding me? Like, you're 31. She broke up with you. She's a drug addict. This is a good thing, dude. Get another girlfriend. There's a lot of them. Like, I could not muster any sympathy for this dude. In my life, there was a good friend of mine who had just lost her husband, and I'm comparing and contrasting these tragedies, and I'm like, bro, suck it up. Like take a day, you know, have a beer and then get back to it. It doesn't matter. Like I literally, I was nice to him. I wasn't mean. I had the hardest time caring about this guy's issue. Like the girl broke up with you, man, whatever whatever. And so a couple days after that, I had lunch with a counselor. Every now and again, a counselor will reach out to a pastor and invite you to lunch, and they're basically, they're kind of courting your reference. You want to get to know each other, and they know that I kind of funnel people into counseling, and so that's kind of how that goes. And so we went out to lunch, and we were talking, and I said, hey hey man, let me just ask you a question. So I have to counsel sometimes. Let me get a little bit of advice. I got this call the other day. How would you have handled that? And I told him about the guy's issues and my response. And he kind of thought about it a second and he said, I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that you grew up in a pretty good home. And I said, well, I mean, yeah, I did. I'm guessing that your parents are together and that you never really had to wonder if they were proud of you. And I said, that's true of me. Yeah, I would say that's true. I said, how'd you know that? And he said, it's just, you just kind of get a sense. I can just tell by the way you carry yourself. He said, I'd be willing to bet that that guy you talked to on the phone probably doesn't have a background like you. He probably doesn't have that family structure to lean on like you did. And he probably values the relationship with that girl and what it did for him and the value that it made him feel a lot more than you ever would. So your ability to detach yourself from that and move on is not the same as his. So I would probably handle that with a little bit more empathy. And I thought, whoa, this dude is smart. I'm going to give him all the referrals. How did he figure that out in 20 minutes of talking to me? I was super impressed. And it also dawned on me in that conversation, because I'm obtuse,ations are always a little bit more nuanced than they seem. And that most of the time when we're talking about issues of mental and emotional health, suck it up is really bad advice. It's really careless and thoughtless and obtuse. And since then, I've rethought about the way that I offer counsel. And that really got my wheels turning on mental health in general. It's something that I care about a lot. I care deeply about how the church engages it because I think historically the church has engaged mental health a little bit like I did. Suck it up and pray it away. Let's go. You're not a good enough Christian. If you were a better Christian, you wouldn't be so sad. So let's lean into God and let's quit being a sissy. And I just think historically that's how we've handled it and that's obtuse. That's not helpful. And more and more, it's being pressed into the national conscience. Last year, we had several athletes come out and say that they were struggling with anxiety, that they were struggling with depression. There was a very high-profile rookie in the NBA who had a terrible rookie year, and he confessed that it was because he struggles greatly with anxiety. There was an offensive lineman, a big, huge bear of a man for the Philadelphia Eagles, I believe, who missed a half of football because he was in the locker room at halftime throwing up because of anxiety attacks and could not get himself out on the field. So more and more we become aware of these things. Every time there's a shooting, then mental health and the epidemic gets thrust into the national conscience. And so as we approached this series and we said, I want a better life, and we thought through the four things that we were going to talk about, I just kind of felt like, based on all of those things, my experiences and what's going on in our culture now, that it would be good to take a Sunday and say, hey, you know what? I want a better me. I want to be more healthy. And so I wanted to take a Sunday and talk to those of you who do struggle with some sort of mental or emotional struggle. I wanted to talk to us as a church, as we encounter and engage and love people in our life who are walking through that struggle. And so as I prepared and thought through what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach it, I actually had a conversation with my therapist. I started seeing a therapist this last summer. And normally when I tell people that I'm in counseling, I immediately tell them why I'm in counseling because I don't want them to think that I'm broken or crazy or that there's something going on. So I want to be very clear, but it's for this really good reason. But as I prepared for this sermon, I thought, I'm going to quit doing that. Because what do I care what you think about how I go to counseling? We need to destigmatize it anyways. So I had a conversation with my therapist. And he's a believer. And he's got a master's in divinity. And so he's very helpful for me. And I said, hey, man, I'm going to be doing a sermon on mental health. What does the church need to know about mental health? What do you wish pastors would say about it? And he said, well, you know, I don't really hear a lot of sermons on mental health, but the ones that I have heard tend to focus on unhealth and what that's like. And I just think that we do a disservice to the church when we don't paint a picture of what health is. So I would invest my time in that. That's interesting. How would you define health? And he defined it essentially this way. He said, a healthy person walks in a sense of security and worth. He said a healthy person, someone who's mentally and emotionally healthy and stable walks in a sense of security and worth. What he meant is, if we're going to be emotionally stable, if we're going to be mentally healthy, then we need to have a sense of security. We need to feel safe. We need to know that everything's going to be okay. If we're walking around in constant fear, a constant uncertainty, or like we've got our eyes covered and we don't know where our next step is going to go, that that's going to cause some mental instability. So we first need to feel secure, but we also need to feel valuable. We need to feel worth. We need to feel like we're enough. We need to feel like we're good enough for other people, that we have some intrinsic value. We need to understand that about ourselves and walk in an actualization and an acknowledgement of that value. So he said, to be healthy, we need to walk in a sense of security and worth. And then he said something that I thought was really interesting. He said that every person gets their boat rocked a little bit. Every person in their life, all of you, at some point or another, have had times where you felt unsafe and had times where you felt unworthy. We've all had our security compromised. We've all had the rug pulled out from under us. We've all felt like, no, this time it's not gonna be okay. And I think more predominantly in the American culture, we've all had times where we don't feel worthy. Some of us feel that pervasively right now. For some of us, the story of our life is this low simmering sense of unworthiness and lack of value and like we're not good enough. And all we've ever done is claw to show ourselves and the people around us that we are actually good enough. Everybody struggles at times to feel secure and to feel worthy. And what he said is, when that happens, healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to get themselves back on track. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to grope for that security and to try to grope for that value. We've seen these unhealthy coping mechanisms, right? Someone feels unsafe, their world feels crazy, and so they become hyper-controlling of their environment all the time. They become, their house has to be clean, and their house doesn't have to be clean because they like a clean house. Their house has to be clean because they've got to exert control over something. And that's not necessarily bad, but it can become unhealthy. Where we see this most is when people exhibit unhealthy coping mechanisms as we lurch for value. This is the girl that far too easily gives herself over to whatever guy will pay attention to her. Because from that guy, she is getting her sense of worth, and that's how she's coping and lurching for that. This is the grown man that still tells you how good of an athlete he was in high school. Because all he's saying is, tell me I'm valuable. Tell me I'm worthy. This is the guy that can't help but brag about whatever it was he did. It's not because he's dumb. It's because he's incredibly insecure and he's groping for value and he doesn't feel it. So he's just looking at you going, can you just tell me I'm awesome? Can you do that, please? He's a 15-year-old kid going, please tell me I'm great. We all do it. As we grow up, we find more nuanced ways to grope for this value, but we do, and it becomes unhealthy. This is where addictions start and get carried on, right? We feel unvaluable. We feel unworthy, we feel unsafe, and so we drink, we medicate, or we find a hobby to numb it, or we refuse to sit in silence. In my research, I saw a great quote from Blaise Pascal that said, all of man's problems can be summed up in his inability to sit in a quiet room alone. Some of us hate the silence. Some of us can't go more than 10 seconds without pulling out our phone to distract ourselves from the things that we don't want to think about. Unhealthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to lurch for the security and the value that we all need. Healthy people develop healthy coping mechanisms to bring back and restore that sense of security and worth. And when we think about healthy coping mechanisms, I think this is a good place to insert the spiritual into the conversation as we think about what are some healthy coping mechanisms with a lack of stability or a lack of value that can bring me back to a place of true health. And as I had this conversation with my therapist, I suggested these two things. I said, I think God provides for us these senses in these two ways. And he said, yeah, that's not everything. And I just want to say very clearly, I'm not covering everything that we do and how we handle mental health this morning, but this is a very good start, I think. As we think about healthy coping mechanisms and what it means to be truly healthy, I want to suggest these two things to you, that there's really two pillars of true health. There's security in God's sovereignty and worthiness in God's love. If we want to be healthy people, truly healthy the way that we were designed, we have to walk in a sense of security anchored in God's sovereignty and a sense of worthiness brought about by God's deep and compassionate love for us. That's what true health is. And so a healthy coping mechanism is to acknowledge that God is sovereign, to acknowledge that God is in control, to acknowledge that nothing happens outside of his purview and outside of his will and feel the relief of that. A good coping mechanism is to look around at the people in your life that God has placed in your life who love you and who value you and who are telling you that you are enough and to allow that to be the truth that you hear and not the truth from the detractors. I actually think that these two pillars are some of the greatest things that Christianity has to offer. I think we undervalue the sovereignty of God. One of my favorite verses, group of verses, is Philippians 4, 6, and 7. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, through prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the God of peace who transcends all understanding will, listen, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Are you anxious? Are the things keeping you up at night? Does worry characterize you? Pray those things to God. Release them to God. And he says that his peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And what that means is God is saying, I've got it. I'm in control. I'm God. It's going to be okay. Rest easy in my sovereignty. He does this again in Romans 8, where it says, we know that for those who love him and are called according to his purpose, that all things work together for the good of those who love him. Everything works together for the good of those who love him are called according to his purpose. Romans 8.28 tells us everything's going to work out. Even if it doesn't work out now, it will work out eventually. It's a beautiful promise from God. I saw a clip of a pastor doing the funeral for his mother that he lost far too early. And he said some amazing things. He said, you know, with God, all of our prayers are answered. I was praying so much for my mom to live, and then she died. He said it disillusioned him for a little bit. But what he realized was he was thinking about it wrong. And it dawned on him that in God, all his prayers are answered because she knew Jesus. So as he prayed for his mom to live, the truth of it is either she's going to live or she was gonna live. She was gonna be okay or she was gonna be okay. She was gonna be with family or she was gonna go be with family. God is good or God is good. This is the sovereignty that he offers us. And one of my favorite passages that I mentioned often, Revelation 21, paints this beautiful picture where it says the end of days that we will be with God and he will be with his people and there will be no more weeping and no more crying and no more pain anymore for the former things have passed away. There is a sovereignty and a peace that God promises throughout scripture. Scripture is replete with these promises. And if we want to be healthy and cling onto a sense of stability and know that everything is okay, even when we don't see how it's going to be okay, then we cling to the sovereignty of God that is laced throughout Scripture, and we know that it's going to be okay, even if it doesn't make sense to me. And I believe that a healthy person reminds themselves of the sovereignty of God and rests easy in that and not in their own control. The next thing we do is we rest in God's love. We know the Bible tells us God loves us. We know John 3.16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. God tells us that not even a sparrow falls to the ground without his knowledge, so how much more does he care about you that the numbers of hairs on your head are numbered? He knows you that well and that intimately. He tells us that if your earthly father knows how to give you a good gift, how much better are my gifts? He tells us that we know that we are loved because while we were still sinners, he died for us. He tells us that we are able to love him because he first loved us. From God, if you listen, is a constant, pervasive, never fatiguing voice that says, you are enough. I love you. You do not have to perform for me. You don't have to be good for me. You don't have to sell for me. You don't have to execute for me. You don't have to impress me. I love you as much as I'm ever going to love you. And to be healthy is to walk in an acknowledgement of that love and not need the accolades of others and not be so desperate for the approval of this group because I'm walking with the approval of my God. And if you give me it too, that's great, but I don't need it because God gives it to me. That's what health looks like. Have you ever met somebody who is so comfortable in their own skin that you just marvel at it? To me, that's a person who walks knowing that God loves me and I'm good. That's what health is. So if we want to be a healthy person, we need to quiet the voices that are telling us we're not enough and listen to the pervasive and persistent voice of God that tells us that we are. As we think about ourselves pursuing mental and emotional health, I think the best, most practical way to do that is to pursue health. We need to identify poor coping mechanisms in our life and pursue healthy ones. If we're going to be mentally healthy, if we're in a state this morning where we feel given towards depression, if we feel given towards anxiety, if we feel given towards just unhealth, I think a good exercise is to identify the unhealthy coping mechanisms that exist in our life. And listen, we all have them. One of the things I'm more certain of than ever, especially in being in counseling, is that we are all a bundle and an alchemy of insecurities and coping mechanisms to present ourselves as enough, all of us. So the best thing we can do is try to identify where these coping mechanisms are and pursue them and pursue healthy ones. But I don't just want to talk about us, how we pursue health. I think one of the big questions the church faces and some of us in our life faces, if I have people in my life who are not healthy, how do I love them towards health? What can we do to love other people towards emotional and mental health? I think two things I would suggest to you this morning. The first would be to offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. To offer the empathetic compassion of Christ. Hebrews tells us that Christ took on flesh, that he bore our infirmities, that he was tempted in the ways that we are tempted, so that he understood our plight, so that when we pray to our Savior, we're not praying to someone who is altogether unfamiliar with the human condition. We're praying to someone who is empathetic with us and therefore compassionate towards us. Do you realize that empathy is the birthplace of compassion? That empathy begats compassion. That the thing that happened with me and that guy that called the church that day, I had zero empathy for him. Therefore, I had zero compassion. It made no sense to me how he was that broken up about that. I could not put myself in his shoes of caring that much that I would doubt the existence of God because a girl dumped me. And so I had no compassion for him. But when I had that conversation with the counselor, and I realized the nuances of what was going on in the conversation that I had with that guy, the thought occurred to me, you know what? If I didn't grow up the way that I grew up in the house that I grew up in, it's entirely possible that I would handle that situation just like he does. And that I'm not tough. I didn't just learn to suck it up. I'm just the benefit of a good environment with good coping mechanisms. And the truth of it is, if you think about me as a little kid, I said I learned to suck it up early. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't decide as a 12-year-old to get tough. No one gets tough at 12. I was in an environment where I was loved by family and by people at church. And that reminded me of my worthiness. My parents breathed scripture into me and that reminded me of God's sovereignty. And I begun to cling to those things. And I wouldn't have articulated it like this at the time, but all that happened is I had to simply develop healthy coping mechanisms for feeling unsafe and unworthy. And the guy that I was talking to on the phone that day had never had the opportunity to develop those. So the first thing we do with people who are experiencing unhealth is we offer empathy. And we acknowledge and admit that even if we don't understand, even if we've never felt that way before, if you change the alchemy of my life and you make the circumstances the same and you run me through the ringer that they went through, there's a very good chance I would come out the other side feeling and thinking and acting the same way that they do. So don't think that we're for a second better than them or more stable than them or tougher than them or stronger than them. We have a different background than they do. And when we can acknowledge that we would be the same person they are, that produces in us empathy. And out of that empathy comes compassion, where we realize some of the worst possible advice would be to suck it up or to pray it away, that we need to first be empathetic with them and understand. And empathy is also the acknowledgement that sometimes when people are dealing with a mental health issue, it's a chemical imbalance. They are sick. Looking at someone who is depressed and telling them to suck it up is like looking at someone with the flu and telling them to run a couple miles. It's useless advice. All it does is make you look dumb and then feel bad. We've got to offer empathy, which produces in us a Christ-like compassion. To help us offer empathy, I wanted to share with you some statistics that I found in the research that I've been doing. These are from the National Mental Health Institute, Institute of Mental Health. What I learned is that a quarter or 20% of U.S. citizens exhibit some symptoms of mental illness. Now, that's a wide brush. That's mild depression all the way to extreme schizophrenia, okay? But 20%, one in five of you, look down the row within two people and one of them is crazy, right? That's a lot. It affects a lot of us. Now, here's what I think is really interesting. It says that there's 22% of women and 15% of men deal with mental health issues. Now, here's what that doesn't mean, that men have it together more than women do. What it means is they're more honest than us and you're a stubborn jerk. That's what that means. You just can't admit that you're struggling. You just fold your arms and pretend like everything's okay. And it only gets worse because 26% of millennials of 18 to 25 say that they experienced some sort of mental illness or exhibit signs of that. Only 14% of ages 50 and older. Now listen, I don't think for a second that you people who are 50 and older in this room have just have life so figured out and all your coping skills so nailed that you're the healthiest bunch in the room. Listen, if you're a dude over 50 and you're like, I don't struggle with depression. Yes, you do. You're just stubborn. Listen, all of us at some point have experienced a season of melancholy. We all have. If you haven't, you're a psychopath or you're not paying attention. All of us experience anxiety in excessive ways. Everybody in this room has had a suicidal thought. Everybody. The difference with healthy and unhealthy is how we cope with those things. I also thought it was really interesting that 50% of adolescents show sign of a mental disorder. And if we understand that health is to walk in a sense of stability and worth, is it any wonder that half of our high school students have no idea how to cling on to stability and worth? We are all of us broken. We are all of us at times weak and in need of help. There is none of us in here who is singularly and individually strong and healthy. And we need to acknowledge that as we seek to offer empathy to others. The next thing we can do to love people towards health is to celebrate courageous choices. We need to start celebrating courageous choices. When somebody makes a decision to get help, when somebody makes a decision to be vulnerable and confess, we need to praise those things. We need to celebrate those things. We don't need to deride those things. I've talked a lot about counseling in this sermon. One of the things that breaks my heart is that counseling gets such a stigma that people, when you start talking about going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that we automatically think, man, only broken people do that. What's going on in your life? What can you not get together yourself? Why do you need help that you need to go talk to a professional to do that? Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? What have you failed at? How did you ruin your marriage? When did you get fired? We just assume that when people are going to see a therapist or going to see a counselor, that there's something broken in them. But here's the thing, there's something broken in all of us, so we need to stop it. Sometimes, most of the time, the unhealthy coping mechanisms that we have are so deeply embedded and ingrained in us that we can't see them. We don't know how to find them ourselves. And we need a trained professional to talk with us and help us see those and then help us see a way through them. We need trained professionals who are more than pastors. I'm very quick to go, listen, I wanna try to help you as best I can. I'm gonna pray for you. You need to talk to a therapist, not because you're crazy, but because they're good at it. The other thing I've learned is when you talk to somebody who will say, I should really go speak to a counselor about this. A lot of times they won't. And at first they won't because it's a pride thing. I don't want to do that. I don't want people to see me parking at that office. I don't want people to think that there's something wrong with me. I don't want people to think that I can't handle it or that I'm weak somehow. I don't want all the stuff that goes with seeing a counselor. So I'm not gonna go do that. And it seems like pride. But when you start to peel back the layers, what you find is that it's really fear. I'm convinced that the reason, if you're thinking about seeing a counselor, getting help, working through some unhealth in your life, I'm convinced that one of the big reasons we don't do that is because we know good and well what we're going to have to walk through when we get there. We don't want to have to look at ourselves in the mirror. It is easier to cope. It is easier to demur. It is easier to distract than it is to confront. And so we keep walking away from our unhealthy selves instead of turning and allowing someone to hold up a mirror and show us and work through it and walk through it and emerge on the other side more healthy. It's often fear that keeps us from getting help, not pride. And so I want you to know this morning that I think it takes bravery to go get help. And I actually think, and I would love for our church to start thinking about it this way, that counseling is not for the broken. It's for the brave. Counseling is not for broken people. It's for brave people. If it were for broken people, then we'd all be in it because we're all broken. But at some point or another, you have to take a step and make a decision that I want some help. I want to be healthy. I want somebody else's voice in this conversation helping me identify the unhealthy pockets in my life to restoring me to my God-given sense of security and value and love. And since I can't find my way out of this mess myself, I want to get someone else to speak into it for me. And that takes bravery and courage. The counseling is not the broken. It's for the brave. My prayer is that 2020 will be the healthiest year for you in a long, long time. For those of you who are brave enough to pursue health, I think it begins with acknowledging and identifying the unhealthy ways we bring ourselves a sense of security and worth. And doing the work to replace that coping mechanism with one that pushes us towards God's sovereignty and pushes us towards God's love. If we have people in our lives this year that we're trying to love towards mental health, we need to do it with empathy and compassion. And we need to, as a church and as a Christian subculture, destigmatize what it is to get help and admit that we all need it. And it's not for the broken, it's for the brave. I hope that some of you will make courageous choices, even this week. If you do want to talk to a counselor, email me and I'll work to find you a good one. I'm not going to send you to mine, but somebody. If there's someone in your life who is struggling, please, please offer them empathy. Please offer them compassion. Please offer them understanding. Try the best you can to put yourself in their shoes and love them from that perspective. And let's make this year a healthy year. Let's pray. Father, we do love you. We thank you so much for loving us. God, if there is anybody here who feels unworthy, who feels unvaluable, who feels unloved, God, may they just feel a pervasive sense of your love and your compassion wrapping around them today. Help them to hear the voices in their life that speak for you and tell them that they are enough. God, if we feel unsafe or insecure, I pray that you would restore that sense of security with your sovereignty. God, for those here who are struggling, who are sad, or who are anxious, or dealing with a multitude of other things, help them feel your peace today. Help them feel your hope today. Remind them that that hope, your word says, will not be put to shame. God, I pray that we would be healthy, that we would walk in a sense of security in you, of value in you, and that that would enable us to love other people well on your behalf. It's in your son's name we pray, amen.

Good to see everybody. Thank you for coming this morning. I assume that the inflated attendance for a very cold rainy day in which we're planning on snow is because of your deep interest in me preaching on guarding your heart and not the building update. So with that being said, I'm happy to take up the next 30 minutes of your time while you wait for the information that you actually want. Before I do that, some of you will get this joke and some of you will not, but if there's a little context here, I just want to say that the Steelers lost in the playoffs and they lost their head coach. Good. Go Bears! you some context. Mikey introduced himself as a longtime visitor. Here's why that's funny. First of all, Mikey and the ReSARS, they predate me. They've been here longer than me. They've given more blood, sweat, and tears to this place than I have. And we were talking about Discover Grace, and he said, I've never gone to the class. Am I a partner? And I have some people ask me that sometimes. And I told him, I don't care how much you've given, how much you've served, what you've done, or how involved your family is. If you don't listen to me talk about grace for an hour, you are not a partner. You're a visitor. So he introduced himself as a longtime visitor. And I've always said what partner, partner is what partner does. We kind of Forrest Gump it. If you partner with us, because at Grace we say that we have partners, we don't have members. And the real simple reason is because members tend to consume and partners tend to contribute. So we want us to think of ourselves as partners in the same entity. We're not looking for rights and privileges as members. So that's why we use that terminology. And I've always said partner is what partner does. If you're actually partnering with us, you're coming to small group, you're attending, you're giving, you're serving, you're partnering with us to move grace forward towards wherever we think God wants it to go, then you're a partner. So if you're out there and like the Rezars, you've been coming to the church for longer than me, and you're wondering, am I a partner now? My response to you is, I don't know, do you think you are? And if you say yes, then I agree with you. But if you want to come to Discover Grace, that's just a way for you to familiarize yourself with the church and our background and our systems and what we do. So we'd love to have you, but we're not real uptight about how to become a partner. You do what you like is our philosophy because I do what I like, so it's only fair. This morning we do continue in our series, You'll Be Glad You Did. And the idea is that if we'll listen to the wisdom of Proverbs, who was written by who the Bible says is the wisest man to ever live, King Solomon. If we'll listen to Proverbs and implement them in our lives, we'll be glad that we did. And we've talked about friends. We've talked about being generous. And this morning, I want to talk about this simple concept of guarding our hearts. This comes out of Proverbs chapter 4, verse 23. It's a verse that I would bet that most of the room has heard, but it's this. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. And so I wanted to take some time this morning to talk about this concept because here's what I think is probably true. Here's what I think is probably true. I think it's probably true that a vast majority of you have heard this concept before. I kind of doubt that there's anyone in the room going, that is new information that I should guard my heart, and out of it everything flows. Maybe there's some, and that's fine, but most of you probably already know this. And so the impetus for me is to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it, right, sure, but let's take some time and focus on it. Because many of us probably learned this when we were children. We probably learned it when we were young, and we've always kind of carried this ethic in our head. We know about it, but maybe we haven't considered it in a while. So I thought it would be worthwhile, as I this series on Proverbs and kind of planned it out, which by the way, I'm now, I'm almost done planning out our next series, which is going to be in Romans. And we're going to move through Romans chapter by chapter. And I'm so excited to do that because I don't know if I've said this from stage or not, but I really, really love preaching through Scripture and talking about it, and I really, really don't love talking about topics like guard your heart. I like the next one better than this one, but I think that the church needs both, and I think that we need to do both, and I think that we need to rest ourselves in this topic today because it's an important one. And here's why it's so important. Whatever flows into our heart flows out of us. Whatever flows into our heart flows out of us. So as we consider this as adults, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And we try to just put fresh eyes on it and take 25, 30 minutes to consider it. I want us to focus on the important parts. I want us to think about it as grown-ups. And the reality to me that comes out of this verse is that the reason we guard our heart is because everything else we do flows out of that. Everything we do flows from it. The way that I was taught this principle was when I was a kid, I was taught that you're a cup. And when you get jostled, which jostled is a great word. When you get jostled, whatever has been poured into that cup will spill out. That's the idea. Every morning, I drive Lily to school at NRCA. Lily's my daughter, not just some girl that I drive to school. I drive Lily to school at NRCA. And when you pull in, you have to go all the way around, and there's all these speed bumps. And it's really annoying, but I guess I understand. If I were running an institution where teenagers daily drove, I would have myriad speed bumps as well. So I get it, but I don't love it. And you go over the speed bumps, and the ones that are head-on, just direct, are pretty manageable. But there's some that are on an angle, and those are maniacal because they rock your car in a bunch of different ways. And every morning before we leave, I make a water bottle for Lily, and I fill my cup with ice and water. I have this all the time. So I fill it with ice and water, and it's close to the brim. And we go over the speed bumps, and I now have to, as we go over the speed bumps, I pick up my cup and I hold it like this to allow my arm to adjust for the bumping so that nothing jostles out of the cup, right? But what's going to come out of that cup, if I forget, and sometimes I do, is just water. It's harmless. It just gets on my center console there, and it's fine. It's not that big of a deal. And it helps me think about the way that we get jostled in life when we hit speed bumps, when we get bad news, sometimes when we get good news, when someone frustrates us, when our partner lets us down, when our children annoy us, or even worse, they disappoint us, when we don't get the deal, when we lose the client, when our team loses in overtime, what comes out of the cup when we are jostled? What spills out onto the people around us when something happens to us? Here's what I think. Sometimes, and I'll be honest with you, it's not very often, and you can ask the other people that work with me at Grace. You can ask Gibby. They've worked with me a while. Kyle, our family pastor, has worked with me for about a decade. Aaron's worked with me since I got here. I don't think I've ever snapped at you guys. I don't think I have. I snapped at Gibby one time. He deserved it, though. He had it coming. I don't think I have. Someone's clearing their throat over there as if I've snapped at them. I don't think I did. But we snap at people, right? And it's usually our family. It's usually our kids. The other day, the other day we were getting ready for school and Lily is 10 now and we told her at 7.27, go get your things and put on your shoes. And at 7.37, she was untying her shoes to put them on. And I snapped. And I looked at her at the kitchen counter and I said, put on your shoes. Put them on. And she started doing other stuff. I said, stop that. Put on your shoes. And she, of course, because she's a little me, mouthed back at me. And I said, put on your shoes. Stop what you're doing. Put on your shoes. Put them on. Go. Go. Put on your shoes. Go. And I snapped at her until she was really upset. And she goes and she puts on her shoes. I shouldn't have to ask you three times in ten minutes to put on your shoes, and I think every parent can relate to that. But here's the thing. Me snapping at that and borderline losing my temper says a lot more about me than it does about Lily. Lily's 10. I'm 33. I'm surprised that was as funny as it was. Lily's 10. I'm a grown adult. Whatever was in my cup spilled out on her. That wasn't her fault. And that wasn't the way to handle that. And what I think is, and why I tell that story about myself, is first of all, you're all in glass houses right now. So throw stones if you want to. But second, thank you, Kay. Second, for all of us, when we get jostled and we lose our temper with someone and we lose our patience with someone, I believe it says a lot more about us than it does about them. And what it says about us is it forces us, if we really want to think about it, to look at what have we been filling our cup with. Because I just got rocked. I just got annoyed. What spilled out? And when it's vitriol, when it's anger, when it's frustration, when it's put on your shoes, that tells us a lot more about what we've been consuming than about what's happening in that moment right there. And I'll be honest. I don't know how much space there is for us as followers of Jesus to snap at other people. There's one time in the Gospels when Jesus snaps and it was to turn over the temple table. So there's a place for godly anger and frustration. But I'd be willing to bet that that place is a lot more rare than what our experience is. So with that in mind, when we talk about guard your heart for out of it, everything flows. That's what I'm talking about. When your cup is jostled, what will come out? When you're frustrated, when you're aggravated, when you're in a difficult situation, what comes out of your heart? Is it kindness? Is it frustration? Is it tenderness? Is it anger? Is it empathy? Or is it condescension? What comes out? I think that's important. And so I wanted to talk this morning about three ways really quickly that we can guard our hearts so that when things happen in our life, the right things come out, that we exude the love of God. From his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace. So when things happen in our life, can we be the kind of people that when our cup is jostled, we pour out grace, we pour out love, we pour out patience, we pour out empathy, we pour out honor, we pour out praise. Can we be those kinds of people? I think that we can. So if we're going to do that, we need to guard our hearts. So there's three ways I want to look at, and there's plenty more than this, but there's three ways I want to look at to guard our hearts so that when things happen in life, the right things come out of us. The first one is the easiest and the most obvious one. We guard content. We guard content. I have never stood up here and told you guys what you should and shouldn't watch. You're grown-ups. If you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit. You watch whatever you want. I just know that there are some shows that I've tried to watch that made me feel, and this is a highly technical term that I learned in seminary, icky. They just made me feel icky. And I just kind of knew, this is not good for my soul. I'm not going to watch this. There are some shows that I've watched that made me feel icky, but they were really good, so I watched them anyways, and I shouldn't have, because they weren't good for my soul. So we should consider what we consume. And I'm not going to give you my standards from a 33-year-old man on what you should do and what you should consume. But what I will say is the content that you do consume matters a lot. And let's be honest about this. There has never been a more consumptive generation of people on the planet than us. Right? Think about it. In the span of human history, who has been able to consume more information than you in a given day? Because we have that stupid germ brick that lives in our pocket that we pull out at stoplights and whenever we get bored and whenever the kids talk too long and we start to scroll. And we can consume. And when the germ brick's not going, the TV's going. And when the TV's not going, we're on the computer. And maybe, maybe, if you're erudite and sophisticated, you pull out a book, something in print from like 1985. Wow. But we are the most consumptive generation that has ever existed on the planet. And most of us consume constantly. And for most of us, our life is filled with noise. And so I would just stop and ask you this morning, not to direct you in one way or another. About what you should or shouldn't do. But I would ask you to consider. What are you consuming? When you pause at the red light. And you grab your phone. What are you looking at? When you have a free moment. And you turn a podcast or a book or songs, what are you listening to? When you have a free moment in the office and you allow yourself to search the internet, what are you looking at? What are you consuming? What are you interested in? And I'm not here to suggest that anything you're consuming is directly nefarious, although some of it is. But what I'm saying is it may be perfectly innocuous content, but is that what you should be consuming? Is that helping you? Is that guarding your heart? Are we looking at the right things? And I remember it was, I don't set myself, I've told a couple stories today about how terrible I am so let me tell you about a good decision that I made. I guess it was about two and a half or three years ago now. It was still called Twitter. Now it's called X. But I just realized that I spent a lot of time just scrolling Twitter, just killing time, scrolling Twitter, seeing what the people were saying about the things. And I realized that everything I saw made me angry. It was inflammatory. Someone's outraged about this. Someone has commentary about this. And as I scrolled, half of the content was designed to just make me angry about a thing. And after doing that enough, I said, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. And I took it off my phone. And that was two and a half years ago. And it was actually three years ago, because I remember it was February. It was a real tough day. And I haven't missed it at all. So some of the counsel or encouragement to you is just, if it's true that everything we do flows out of our hearts, and if it's true that to prevent things flowing out of our heart that we need to guard it, then it has to also be true that the content that we consume is really actually very important. And so I'm not trying to give you pastoral advice and strictures about how you should organize your life. I'm just encouraging you as adults, what you consume matters a lot. So what are you consuming? What are you watching? Because a lot of us, particularly now, and you're going to think, when I say this, my suspicion is that you're going to think that I'm criticizing whatever side of the political aisle that you're on. You're going to assume that I'm on the other one and I'm telling you that yours is bad. I'm not. But can we acknowledge that a lot of news, not all of it, there's some good stuff, is designed to inflame us, is designed to anger us. And we as Christians, if that comes out of us when our cup is jostled, should consider how engaged we are with those things as well. So we guard our content. Here's another thing we guard. And this one you probably didn't see coming. But we guard empathy. We guard empathy. Years ago, I had a good friend. She's still a good friend. And she was telling me about her son, Bergen, who was 8 to 10 at the time. And she said that Bergen had developed an interest in ornithology, which makes me really disappointed that the farmers are not here today. Jacob would love this because he's a huge bird nerd. And that's what ornithology is. It's bird watchers, for those that don't know. And even my comment there is a tell to the point that I'm intending to make. She said that Bergen loved bird watching. He was really into it, wanted to get the binoculars. He was like reading books and doing all this stuff. And I remember just saying to her, they were homeschooled. And I remember saying to her at the time, I'm so glad that Bergen is homeschooled so that he can invest himself in that hobby. Because if he went to school, he would get made fun of until he quit watching birds. And we might giggle, but that's actually a really sad thing. I think that stinks. The world has a way, the vet is nodding her head, she likes birds too. The world has a way. The vet is nodding her head. She likes birds too. The world has a way of kind of crushing our sincerity out of us, of kind of crushing our optimism out of us. The world has a way of molding you as you grow up and telling you that what you like is not okay. What you like is not cool. What you do is not good. What your hobbies are are nerdy or they're wasteful or they're whatever they are. And the world cruelly has a way of crushing our sincerity out of us. And so as I thought about how do we guard our hearts, I thought it's worth mentioning that the world has a way of crushing our empathy out of us as well. And that as we encounter tragedy, as we encounter hardship, as we encounter trouble, and we see it in other people, because we see it so often, we can begin to become, we can allow our hearts to become calcified against the needs of the world around us. Right? We can let our heart grow hardened so that we no longer care about the people that we interact with day to day. So that we're no longer moved towards the things that should move us. And what we can do is we can allow the world and its pressures exerted on us and on our souls and on our hearts to calcify our hearts in such a way that we no longer have the capacity to care. And I would say that our capacity to care about others is one of the most important things a Christian can do. Jesus himself said, whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. So when we stop caring, and when we are not moved, and when we, listen, this is tough, but I think it's true. When we are not people who are actively involved, actively involved, and I mean that, actively involved in helping the least of these, it may be because our hearts are calcified. And we have not adequately guarded them against the onslaught of apathy that comes from our culture. So one of the ways we guard our hearts is to keep them tender and to make sure that we maintain empathy. The last way that I want to mention this morning, there are more ways again, but the last way I want to mention this morning is that we guard our relationships. If we want to guard our hearts, we guard our relationships. It's funny, I made, I wrote up these notes this week and was already thinking about this topic because I think it's true. And then just yesterday, had lunch with somebody. And the story was, essentially, I've always looked up to my dad. He's let me down lately. And it's really messed me up spiritually. And I've talked to my therapist about it. And I might have to cut him out of my life. I don't know what to do. And because of my multiple degrees in psychology, I knew exactly what to tell him. But I was only able to tell him what you guys would tell him. You need to decide what the appropriate boundaries in your life are for him. You need to decide to what level you're going to give him access to you. You need to decide how much, in plain terms, he's able to hurt you. We need boundaries. Because this is a person that he looked up to spiritually. And that person had let him down. So now, that relationship that he had in his life that really didn't correlate with his spiritual life is all of a sudden impacting his spiritual life in such a way that it's detrimental. So if we're going to guard our hearts, we have to guard our relationships. And I'm not going to spend a lot of time here because, as I joked, I'm not a therapist. But I do know and I have seen that we can have toxic relationships in our life that cause us to spiral in such a way that we lose our sense of spirituality and we begin to lose spiritual health and our hearts are not being guarded because we're making them subject to a person that's not treating them well. And so in some ways, as grown-ups, if we want to guard our hearts, we have to guard our relationships. My larger point, and I'll finish with this, is I would just like to implore you to consider what it means as a grown-up to guard your heart. What are you consuming? Not just content, but what's your environment? How much are you protecting your own empathy? Just consider as grown-ups what's going into your heart, what's going into your soul, And when your cup is jostled, what's coming out? And what do you want to come out? And if what's coming out right now isn't what you want, then how do you fix that? If you'll think about that, I believe you'll be glad you did. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for a church that loves you. Thank you, God, for a church that can laugh. But God, I pray that this morning we would consider what we're consuming. We would consider what we're letting in. We would consider what's helping us and what's not. God, I ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen. Hang on just a second, band. I got tripped up in my prayer because I forgot this verse that I wanted to share with you, and I'll finish with this. Because to me, it's the most impactful verse I've ever read about what we should consume. Paul finishes his letter to the Philippians after all the encouragement that he gives him with this final exhortation. And I think it's a good way to end this sermon today. Finally, brothers and sisters, this is Philippians 4.8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. May that be our standard.

Good to see everybody. Thank you for coming this morning. I assume that the inflated attendance for a very cold rainy day in which we're planning on snow is because of your deep interest in me preaching on guarding your heart and not the building update. So with that being said, I'm happy to take up the next 30 minutes of your time while you wait for the information that you actually want. Before I do that, some of you will get this joke and some of you will not, but if there's a little context here, I just want to say that the Steelers lost in the playoffs and they lost their head coach. Good. Go Bears! you some context. Mikey introduced himself as a longtime visitor. Here's why that's funny. First of all, Mikey and the ReSARS, they predate me. They've been here longer than me. They've given more blood, sweat, and tears to this place than I have. And we were talking about Discover Grace, and he said, I've never gone to the class. Am I a partner? And I have some people ask me that sometimes. And I told him, I don't care how much you've given, how much you've served, what you've done, or how involved your family is. If you don't listen to me talk about grace for an hour, you are not a partner. You're a visitor. So he introduced himself as a longtime visitor. And I've always said what partner, partner is what partner does. We kind of Forrest Gump it. If you partner with us, because at Grace we say that we have partners, we don't have members. And the real simple reason is because members tend to consume and partners tend to contribute. So we want us to think of ourselves as partners in the same entity. We're not looking for rights and privileges as members. So that's why we use that terminology. And I've always said partner is what partner does. If you're actually partnering with us, you're coming to small group, you're attending, you're giving, you're serving, you're partnering with us to move grace forward towards wherever we think God wants it to go, then you're a partner. So if you're out there and like the Rezars, you've been coming to the church for longer than me, and you're wondering, am I a partner now? My response to you is, I don't know, do you think you are? And if you say yes, then I agree with you. But if you want to come to Discover Grace, that's just a way for you to familiarize yourself with the church and our background and our systems and what we do. So we'd love to have you, but we're not real uptight about how to become a partner. You do what you like is our philosophy because I do what I like, so it's only fair. This morning we do continue in our series, You'll Be Glad You Did. And the idea is that if we'll listen to the wisdom of Proverbs, who was written by who the Bible says is the wisest man to ever live, King Solomon. If we'll listen to Proverbs and implement them in our lives, we'll be glad that we did. And we've talked about friends. We've talked about being generous. And this morning, I want to talk about this simple concept of guarding our hearts. This comes out of Proverbs chapter 4, verse 23. It's a verse that I would bet that most of the room has heard, but it's this. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. And so I wanted to take some time this morning to talk about this concept because here's what I think is probably true. Here's what I think is probably true. I think it's probably true that a vast majority of you have heard this concept before. I kind of doubt that there's anyone in the room going, that is new information that I should guard my heart, and out of it everything flows. Maybe there's some, and that's fine, but most of you probably already know this. And so the impetus for me is to go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it, right, sure, but let's take some time and focus on it. Because many of us probably learned this when we were children. We probably learned it when we were young, and we've always kind of carried this ethic in our head. We know about it, but maybe we haven't considered it in a while. So I thought it would be worthwhile, as I this series on Proverbs and kind of planned it out, which by the way, I'm now, I'm almost done planning out our next series, which is going to be in Romans. And we're going to move through Romans chapter by chapter. And I'm so excited to do that because I don't know if I've said this from stage or not, but I really, really love preaching through Scripture and talking about it, and I really, really don't love talking about topics like guard your heart. I like the next one better than this one, but I think that the church needs both, and I think that we need to do both, and I think that we need to rest ourselves in this topic today because it's an important one. And here's why it's so important. Whatever flows into our heart flows out of us. Whatever flows into our heart flows out of us. So as we consider this as adults, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And we try to just put fresh eyes on it and take 25, 30 minutes to consider it. I want us to focus on the important parts. I want us to think about it as grown-ups. And the reality to me that comes out of this verse is that the reason we guard our heart is because everything else we do flows out of that. Everything we do flows from it. The way that I was taught this principle was when I was a kid, I was taught that you're a cup. And when you get jostled, which jostled is a great word. When you get jostled, whatever has been poured into that cup will spill out. That's the idea. Every morning, I drive Lily to school at NRCA. Lily's my daughter, not just some girl that I drive to school. I drive Lily to school at NRCA. And when you pull in, you have to go all the way around, and there's all these speed bumps. And it's really annoying, but I guess I understand. If I were running an institution where teenagers daily drove, I would have myriad speed bumps as well. So I get it, but I don't love it. And you go over the speed bumps, and the ones that are head-on, just direct, are pretty manageable. But there's some that are on an angle, and those are maniacal because they rock your car in a bunch of different ways. And every morning before we leave, I make a water bottle for Lily, and I fill my cup with ice and water. I have this all the time. So I fill it with ice and water, and it's close to the brim. And we go over the speed bumps, and I now have to, as we go over the speed bumps, I pick up my cup and I hold it like this to allow my arm to adjust for the bumping so that nothing jostles out of the cup, right? But what's going to come out of that cup, if I forget, and sometimes I do, is just water. It's harmless. It just gets on my center console there, and it's fine. It's not that big of a deal. And it helps me think about the way that we get jostled in life when we hit speed bumps, when we get bad news, sometimes when we get good news, when someone frustrates us, when our partner lets us down, when our children annoy us, or even worse, they disappoint us, when we don't get the deal, when we lose the client, when our team loses in overtime, what comes out of the cup when we are jostled? What spills out onto the people around us when something happens to us? Here's what I think. Sometimes, and I'll be honest with you, it's not very often, and you can ask the other people that work with me at Grace. You can ask Gibby. They've worked with me a while. Kyle, our family pastor, has worked with me for about a decade. Aaron's worked with me since I got here. I don't think I've ever snapped at you guys. I don't think I have. I snapped at Gibby one time. He deserved it, though. He had it coming. I don't think I have. Someone's clearing their throat over there as if I've snapped at them. I don't think I did. But we snap at people, right? And it's usually our family. It's usually our kids. The other day, the other day we were getting ready for school and Lily is 10 now and we told her at 7.27, go get your things and put on your shoes. And at 7.37, she was untying her shoes to put them on. And I snapped. And I looked at her at the kitchen counter and I said, put on your shoes. Put them on. And she started doing other stuff. I said, stop that. Put on your shoes. And she, of course, because she's a little me, mouthed back at me. And I said, put on your shoes. Stop what you're doing. Put on your shoes. Put them on. Go. Go. Put on your shoes. Go. And I snapped at her until she was really upset. And she goes and she puts on her shoes. I shouldn't have to ask you three times in ten minutes to put on your shoes, and I think every parent can relate to that. But here's the thing. Me snapping at that and borderline losing my temper says a lot more about me than it does about Lily. Lily's 10. I'm 33. I'm surprised that was as funny as it was. Lily's 10. I'm a grown adult. Whatever was in my cup spilled out on her. That wasn't her fault. And that wasn't the way to handle that. And what I think is, and why I tell that story about myself, is first of all, you're all in glass houses right now. So throw stones if you want to. But second, thank you, Kay. Second, for all of us, when we get jostled and we lose our temper with someone and we lose our patience with someone, I believe it says a lot more about us than it does about them. And what it says about us is it forces us, if we really want to think about it, to look at what have we been filling our cup with. Because I just got rocked. I just got annoyed. What spilled out? And when it's vitriol, when it's anger, when it's frustration, when it's put on your shoes, that tells us a lot more about what we've been consuming than about what's happening in that moment right there. And I'll be honest. I don't know how much space there is for us as followers of Jesus to snap at other people. There's one time in the Gospels when Jesus snaps and it was to turn over the temple table. So there's a place for godly anger and frustration. But I'd be willing to bet that that place is a lot more rare than what our experience is. So with that in mind, when we talk about guard your heart for out of it, everything flows. That's what I'm talking about. When your cup is jostled, what will come out? When you're frustrated, when you're aggravated, when you're in a difficult situation, what comes out of your heart? Is it kindness? Is it frustration? Is it tenderness? Is it anger? Is it empathy? Or is it condescension? What comes out? I think that's important. And so I wanted to talk this morning about three ways really quickly that we can guard our hearts so that when things happen in our life, the right things come out, that we exude the love of God. From his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace. So when things happen in our life, can we be the kind of people that when our cup is jostled, we pour out grace, we pour out love, we pour out patience, we pour out empathy, we pour out honor, we pour out praise. Can we be those kinds of people? I think that we can. So if we're going to do that, we need to guard our hearts. So there's three ways I want to look at, and there's plenty more than this, but there's three ways I want to look at to guard our hearts so that when things happen in life, the right things come out of us. The first one is the easiest and the most obvious one. We guard content. We guard content. I have never stood up here and told you guys what you should and shouldn't watch. You're grown-ups. If you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit. You watch whatever you want. I just know that there are some shows that I've tried to watch that made me feel, and this is a highly technical term that I learned in seminary, icky. They just made me feel icky. And I just kind of knew, this is not good for my soul. I'm not going to watch this. There are some shows that I've watched that made me feel icky, but they were really good, so I watched them anyways, and I shouldn't have, because they weren't good for my soul. So we should consider what we consume. And I'm not going to give you my standards from a 33-year-old man on what you should do and what you should consume. But what I will say is the content that you do consume matters a lot. And let's be honest about this. There has never been a more consumptive generation of people on the planet than us. Right? Think about it. In the span of human history, who has been able to consume more information than you in a given day? Because we have that stupid germ brick that lives in our pocket that we pull out at stoplights and whenever we get bored and whenever the kids talk too long and we start to scroll. And we can consume. And when the germ brick's not going, the TV's going. And when the TV's not going, we're on the computer. And maybe, maybe, if you're erudite and sophisticated, you pull out a book, something in print from like 1985. Wow. But we are the most consumptive generation that has ever existed on the planet. And most of us consume constantly. And for most of us, our life is filled with noise. And so I would just stop and ask you this morning, not to direct you in one way or another. About what you should or shouldn't do. But I would ask you to consider. What are you consuming? When you pause at the red light. And you grab your phone. What are you looking at? When you have a free moment. And you turn a podcast or a book or songs, what are you listening to? When you have a free moment in the office and you allow yourself to search the internet, what are you looking at? What are you consuming? What are you interested in? And I'm not here to suggest that anything you're consuming is directly nefarious, although some of it is. But what I'm saying is it may be perfectly innocuous content, but is that what you should be consuming? Is that helping you? Is that guarding your heart? Are we looking at the right things? And I remember it was, I don't set myself, I've told a couple stories today about how terrible I am so let me tell you about a good decision that I made. I guess it was about two and a half or three years ago now. It was still called Twitter. Now it's called X. But I just realized that I spent a lot of time just scrolling Twitter, just killing time, scrolling Twitter, seeing what the people were saying about the things. And I realized that everything I saw made me angry. It was inflammatory. Someone's outraged about this. Someone has commentary about this. And as I scrolled, half of the content was designed to just make me angry about a thing. And after doing that enough, I said, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. And I took it off my phone. And that was two and a half years ago. And it was actually three years ago, because I remember it was February. It was a real tough day. And I haven't missed it at all. So some of the counsel or encouragement to you is just, if it's true that everything we do flows out of our hearts, and if it's true that to prevent things flowing out of our heart that we need to guard it, then it has to also be true that the content that we consume is really actually very important. And so I'm not trying to give you pastoral advice and strictures about how you should organize your life. I'm just encouraging you as adults, what you consume matters a lot. So what are you consuming? What are you watching? Because a lot of us, particularly now, and you're going to think, when I say this, my suspicion is that you're going to think that I'm criticizing whatever side of the political aisle that you're on. You're going to assume that I'm on the other one and I'm telling you that yours is bad. I'm not. But can we acknowledge that a lot of news, not all of it, there's some good stuff, is designed to inflame us, is designed to anger us. And we as Christians, if that comes out of us when our cup is jostled, should consider how engaged we are with those things as well. So we guard our content. Here's another thing we guard. And this one you probably didn't see coming. But we guard empathy. We guard empathy. Years ago, I had a good friend. She's still a good friend. And she was telling me about her son, Bergen, who was 8 to 10 at the time. And she said that Bergen had developed an interest in ornithology, which makes me really disappointed that the farmers are not here today. Jacob would love this because he's a huge bird nerd. And that's what ornithology is. It's bird watchers, for those that don't know. And even my comment there is a tell to the point that I'm intending to make. She said that Bergen loved bird watching. He was really into it, wanted to get the binoculars. He was like reading books and doing all this stuff. And I remember just saying to her, they were homeschooled. And I remember saying to her at the time, I'm so glad that Bergen is homeschooled so that he can invest himself in that hobby. Because if he went to school, he would get made fun of until he quit watching birds. And we might giggle, but that's actually a really sad thing. I think that stinks. The world has a way, the vet is nodding her head, she likes birds too. The world has a way. The vet is nodding her head. She likes birds too. The world has a way of kind of crushing our sincerity out of us, of kind of crushing our optimism out of us. The world has a way of molding you as you grow up and telling you that what you like is not okay. What you like is not cool. What you do is not good. What your hobbies are are nerdy or they're wasteful or they're whatever they are. And the world cruelly has a way of crushing our sincerity out of us. And so as I thought about how do we guard our hearts, I thought it's worth mentioning that the world has a way of crushing our empathy out of us as well. And that as we encounter tragedy, as we encounter hardship, as we encounter trouble, and we see it in other people, because we see it so often, we can begin to become, we can allow our hearts to become calcified against the needs of the world around us. Right? We can let our heart grow hardened so that we no longer care about the people that we interact with day to day. So that we're no longer moved towards the things that should move us. And what we can do is we can allow the world and its pressures exerted on us and on our souls and on our hearts to calcify our hearts in such a way that we no longer have the capacity to care. And I would say that our capacity to care about others is one of the most important things a Christian can do. Jesus himself said, whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. So when we stop caring, and when we are not moved, and when we, listen, this is tough, but I think it's true. When we are not people who are actively involved, actively involved, and I mean that, actively involved in helping the least of these, it may be because our hearts are calcified. And we have not adequately guarded them against the onslaught of apathy that comes from our culture. So one of the ways we guard our hearts is to keep them tender and to make sure that we maintain empathy. The last way that I want to mention this morning, there are more ways again, but the last way I want to mention this morning is that we guard our relationships. If we want to guard our hearts, we guard our relationships. It's funny, I made, I wrote up these notes this week and was already thinking about this topic because I think it's true. And then just yesterday, had lunch with somebody. And the story was, essentially, I've always looked up to my dad. He's let me down lately. And it's really messed me up spiritually. And I've talked to my therapist about it. And I might have to cut him out of my life. I don't know what to do. And because of my multiple degrees in psychology, I knew exactly what to tell him. But I was only able to tell him what you guys would tell him. You need to decide what the appropriate boundaries in your life are for him. You need to decide to what level you're going to give him access to you. You need to decide how much, in plain terms, he's able to hurt you. We need boundaries. Because this is a person that he looked up to spiritually. And that person had let him down. So now, that relationship that he had in his life that really didn't correlate with his spiritual life is all of a sudden impacting his spiritual life in such a way that it's detrimental. So if we're going to guard our hearts, we have to guard our relationships. And I'm not going to spend a lot of time here because, as I joked, I'm not a therapist. But I do know and I have seen that we can have toxic relationships in our life that cause us to spiral in such a way that we lose our sense of spirituality and we begin to lose spiritual health and our hearts are not being guarded because we're making them subject to a person that's not treating them well. And so in some ways, as grown-ups, if we want to guard our hearts, we have to guard our relationships. My larger point, and I'll finish with this, is I would just like to implore you to consider what it means as a grown-up to guard your heart. What are you consuming? Not just content, but what's your environment? How much are you protecting your own empathy? Just consider as grown-ups what's going into your heart, what's going into your soul, And when your cup is jostled, what's coming out? And what do you want to come out? And if what's coming out right now isn't what you want, then how do you fix that? If you'll think about that, I believe you'll be glad you did. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for a church that loves you. Thank you, God, for a church that can laugh. But God, I pray that this morning we would consider what we're consuming. We would consider what we're letting in. We would consider what's helping us and what's not. God, I ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen. Hang on just a second, band. I got tripped up in my prayer because I forgot this verse that I wanted to share with you, and I'll finish with this. Because to me, it's the most impactful verse I've ever read about what we should consume. Paul finishes his letter to the Philippians after all the encouragement that he gives him with this final exhortation. And I think it's a good way to end this sermon today. Finally, brothers and sisters, this is Philippians 4.8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. May that be our standard.

Hey. Thanks for being here on this Friday night. Normally, I say things like, my name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. I usually do that for the benefit of people who are visiting or maybe unfamiliar with Grace, but I highly doubt that there's a large population of those people on a Friday night service. So, hey, Grace, this is fun. I got a text. I went to Gibby, Aaron Gibson, at the beginning of the week, and I said, listen, man, weather doesn't look good for this weekend either, but come heck or high water, me and you are going to get there on Sunday morning, and we're going to at least live stream a sermon. We have to do that. We can't miss two weeks in a row. And he said, yeah, I agree. Even if we have to spend the night at the church, that's what we're going to do. So we said, okay. Then I got a text from Betty Rock back there next to the thermostat. She likes to sit next to the thermostat so she can complain about it, but she never actually touches it and does anything about it. She just is like me. You'd rather complain than actually do something. But she texted me, and she said, how about we do a Friday night service to get ahead of the weather? And I texted her back all the reasons why that was a terrible idea, and that would never work. And then I went to work, and I told the staff about the idea, and they all went, that sounds like a pretty good idea. I'm going to wrap up our series called You'll Be Glad You Did. And as Aaron mentioned in the announcements, the whole idea of it has been Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, and we're going to see more about that this week and why that's the case, wrote the book of Proverbs. Also, I've been getting over a cough this week, so you might have to bear with me. But he wrote the book of Proverbs, and it's proverbial wisdom. It's wisdom passed down to us from the wisest man to ever live, from a very righteous man, from one of the best kings to ever serve the nation of Israel, and from someone that God blessed directly. And so the idea has been if we'll simply listen to the advice that we find in Proverbs and employ that in our lives, that this year if we listen to it and we abide by it, we will be glad that we did. And so I wanted to cap the series off with really a synopsis of Proverbs chapters 2 and 3. Because in Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, Solomon really digs in on wisdom. And I would highly encourage you, if you haven't read them or if you haven't read them in a while, to open up your Bible. You might do it during this sermon if you get bored. I don't care. It'd be better than listening to me. Read Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, where wisdom is almost personified. In chapter 3, it's referred to as feminine, she. And I'm not trying to make the Holy Spirit a woman, but when I read it, it almost reads like the Holy Spirit is embodied or personified by wisdom. And the thrust of those two chapters is essentially whatever you do, whatever you do, whatever you pursue, whatever's important to you, get wisdom. No matter what else is important to you, get wisdom, is really the synopsis of chapters two and three. And so I thought that would be the best place to land the plane as we finished up our series, essentially from Proverbs. Now to get there, I want to share with you something that happens in my marriage and in my family that may happen in yours, may not. And I think I've told you guys this before, but by way of reminder, every time we're driving down the road and the lottery, the Powerball lottery, gets like exorbitantly high to where it starts making like national news. It's at like $356 million. It's at $420 million. It's at $786 million, whatever it is. It starts getting real high, and you see it on the billboard, and we're driving down the road, and we see that number. What do you guys do? You look at your spouse. What would you do if you had that money? How would you spend that? You get $400 million. Uncle Sam gets 50%. What are you going to do with the other 50? And you start talking about what you'd do if you were the lottery winner. Now listen, I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life. Not from some moral high horse, but just from an economic one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But I do actually want to just take a minute and encourage you guys to buy lottery tickets and tithe on your winnings. This is how we're going to get into that building. All right, so go to the gas stations all around after the service. Take that from the sermon. Especially you kids, go play the lottery. What a mess. It's Friday night, no one's here. This is great. But we start playing that game. What would you do if you had $400 million? And it always, I don't know about y'all, if y'all play this game, but it always starts out for us pretty conservative. I wouldn't do anything crazy. I'd probably just drive the car that I have. You know, I don't need anything extravagant. Well, it does have 120,000 miles on it, so I need to be practical. Maybe a Range Rover. Maybe a, I should probably just sit in a Maybach, right? Like I should just sit in one if I've got $400 million. Like maybe a BMW 740. Maybe that's what I need. You know, and so then it just starts to progress. And it's like, we wouldn't sell the house. We don't need anything extravagant. But maybe a condo in New York City. Maybe we get a little beach house on 30A. Now, you North Carolina folks don't know about 30A. You do, FSU. I see you. 30A is on the Florida Panhandle. It's the road that connects Destin to Panama City. It's the best beaches in the country, all right? They're amazing, and we grew up going there, and now they're too far away, and so we have to take Lily to Emerald Isle, and it's really tragic. So let's get a house there, but then it's like, well, if we're going to get a house there, we've got to be able to get there. So should we start thinking about a private jet? And then I'm going to need a cook. Probably need a personal trainer. This house is not good enough. We need a bigger Raleigh house. And then it just starts escalating. But certainly we've all had that thought process. If I were to win a million dollars, if I were a hundred million dollars, what would I do with it? If I hit the lottery, what would I do? And then when we were little kids, remember we used to play that game, if you rubbed the bottle and the genie came out, what would you wish for? You get three wishes, you can't wish for more wishes. What would you wish for, right? And we've all done that exercise. And we all have, in some ways, different answers and in a lot of ways, very similar answers. And I bring that up because this is a situation that Solomon actually faced himself. If you look in 1 Kings 3, if you look in 1 Kings 3, what you see is that God appeared to Solomon in a dream. And he said to Solomon, ask of me whatever you will and I will grant it to you. Now that's pretty big deal. If God came to you in a dream, if God showed himself to you and said, ask of me whatever you want and I will give it to you, what would you ask for? God, I'd like to be financially secure in such a way that I don't have to think about money for the rest of my life. I don't need to be wealthy. I just don't want to have to ever worry about it. Would it be, God, repair my marriage? Repair my relationship with my children? Would it be make me the best at my job so that I can prosper? Make me rich. Make me powerful. Give me health. Let me live a long life. What would you ask for? Well, here's what Solomon asked for. And this is what qualifies him to write the book of Proverbs and warrants us looking at his wisdom in that book. This is what he requests. In 1 Kings 3, I'm going to read verses 9-12. Hang on just a second. He says this. So God said to him, since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies, which that's a fun one. I don't think that occurred to any of us that we could wish for someone else to die, but maybe that's on your agenda. I will do what you have asked. I will give a wise, I will give you a wise and discerning heart so that there will never be anyone like you, nor will there ever be. So God goes to Solomon in a dream and he says, ask me anything you want and I'll give it to you. And Solomon's in this predicament because he's a relatively young man and he's just taken over as king and he's got a big plate in front of him. And so he is in this situation in life where he realizes his need for wisdom. He realizes his need for wisdom. And so that's what he asked for. I have this job to do. Make me fit to do it. Make me wise so that I can lead your people. And it says that God was pleased, and we're going to come back to this. It says that God was pleased with this. And the next point is Solomon wished for wisdom. He could have wished for anything, and he chose wisdom. And it says that God was pleased with this. And then he said, because you didn't ask for these other things that would have been more selfish and self-serving, I'm going to grant this to you. And then, oh, by the way, Solomon was the richest king to ever rule Israel. He built more infrastructure, more monuments, more palaces. He built the temple. He built more of Israel than any king ever did. Israel never experienced greater prosperity than it did under the rule of King Solomon. And you can trace it back to the beginning of his rule when he was granted this opportunity from God, ask me whatever you want and I'll give it to you, and he chose to ask for wisdom. And that foundation of wisdom led to the prosperity of Israel throughout his reign. It's like it's a Rosetta Stone for life, or a foundation of life. He could have asked, make me invincible to my enemies. Make us prosper. Give me wealth. But instead he asked for wisdom and then that was the spring from which everything else grew. From this wish for wisdom, we get the book of Proverbs. And like I said, chapters 2 and 3 really serve as kind of a synopsis or a rallying cry for the entire book. In chapter 2, Solomon writes to his listeners, and when I start to read, you're going to see that it starts off with the word, my son. So this is like a letter to his son. And I don't know about you, but whenever I have the opportunity to see those things, there's a book I read recently that I brought up in a sermon before called Notes on Being a Man. And it's a guy that I like, writes a book on manhood. And really, as you begin to read it, you can tell it's really written to his two boys. If you get something out of this, great, but this is written to my two boys. And I love a mom writing to a daughter, a father writing to a son. I love getting to get a glimpse into what a dad thinks is important. As a matter of fact, when I started this job, when I took this job, now nine years ago, my dad wrote me about a six-page letter, notes on being a pastor. And he said, because, I said, why'd you write this down? And he said, because if I told you, you wouldn't listen. He was right. But now I have it, and I've had it for nine years. And I go back to it periodically and reread it. And the wisdom continues. The wisdom persists. It continues to be valuable. So I love when a father will write a letter to his child about here's what you need to understand and here's what's important. And this is what Solomon is doing in Proverbs. And we get to be, we get the benefits of being his offspring when we see this. This is what he says. Listen, please. and cry aloud for understanding. And if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. This is Solomon's... He wasn't dying as he wrote this, but you could consider it his dying words to his son. If you get nothing else, pursue wisdom. Look for it as for silver. Search for it as for hidden treasure. Get wisdom. And he says, if you do this, two things that are remarkable to me. The first thing is you will understand the fear of the Lord. There's another proverb that Solomon wrote that says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Which means until you properly fear God, until you have a proper awe and respect for God, until you put him in his place and by necessity you in your place, you cannot begin to pursue wisdom. People who have themselves on an equal playing field with God or who think God doesn't exist, and so then they are the Lord of their own life. People who put themselves on par with God, whether they believe in him or not, Solomon says, cannot achieve true wisdom. And I agree with that. If we want to pursue wisdom, if we want to be people who are wise, we have to acknowledge that there is a God who exists. We have to acknowledge that the Bible starts out, the first sentence of the Bible, in the beginning God created, which establishes the fundamental relationship for life. God is the creator. We are the creation. He is higher than us. And we cannot pursue wisdom until we acknowledge that hierarchy. And listen, and I've said this before, anytime we have a sin issue, anytime we have a heart issue, anytime our life gets disjointed, anytime things start to go bad for us spiritually, the fundamental reason, no matter what else has happened, the fundamental reason for that is we forgot our place and we put ourselves on par with God. We are not in a place to pursue wisdom. So the first thing he says is if you pursue this, you will begin to know the fear of the Lord, which puts us in a position to pursue wisdom. The second thing he says, and I loved this one, it says, and you will find the knowledge of God. Now you guys, most of you have been here for a while. And you might remember two Januaries ago I did a whole series and a prayer in Ephesians. That's my favorite prayer in the Bible. I have it stenciled, written out and framed on my office wall at home. I'm not trying to brag, but I do have a home office. And in that prayer, Paul says, for this reason, I bow my knees before the Father for whom every family on heaven and on earth is named. And then he goes on to pray for the church in Ephesus. And he doesn't pray for circumstances and he doesn't pray for prosperity and he doesn't pray for health. And the conclusion of the prayer is so that you may be filled with all the fullness of the knowledge of God. And I never pieced it together before. I always thought that was an original thought from Paul, that that's what he was praying, that you would be filled with the fullness of the knowledge of God. And when I pray for you, and when I pray for your children, and when I pray for our church, that's what I pray. Not that things would go well, not that we would prosper, not that we would be healthy, not that we would avoid tragedy, but that whatever happens would conspire to bring us to a deeper knowledge of God. And I always thought that was Paul's thought, but it's not. He's echoing Solomon from Proverbs who says, if you pursue wisdom, then you will be filled with the knowledge of God, which then rebounds and resounds in Ephesians thousands of years later when Paul writes that letter. So that's what happens when we pursue wisdom. As we begin to know the fear of the Lord and we are filled with the knowledge of God. So we are left with chapter 3, kind of the synopsis, the crescendo of his encouragement to pursue wisdom. In chapter 3, he says this, verse 13. Those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. I love that verse. Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace. Because those were written about Jen. But the rest is about wisdom. And he makes the point, whatever you do, get wisdom. Prize it. Consider it the most important thing to pursue. And that becomes really clear as you look at the life of Solomon, you look at the writings of Solomon. But even as we reflect on wisdom and we agree with Solomon that we should pursue it, we're left with some questions. First one would just be how do we define wisdom? And this is not going to be groundbreaking for any of you. This is the definition that many of you would probably give as well. But just so we have a working definition and we're on the same page, we're going to define it this way tonight. Wisdom is knowledge applied. Wisdom is knowledge applied. We've all known people who have grown older and not grown up, yeah? People who just because they participate in the relentless march of time does not mean they get smarter. As a matter of fact, I see you smiling. You know somebody who's got dumber. As a matter of fact, sometimes we atrophy because we quit learning and we quit pursuing wisdom. We put our head in the sand or we put our head in an echo chamber and we don't learn anything. And we grow old, but we don't grow up. So wisdom is knowledge applied. It's growing up. It's getting mature. That's what wisdom is. So then we ask, okay, if I need to pursue wisdom, and wisdom is knowledge applied, and biblically speaking, it's biblical knowledge applied. It's growing deeper in the scriptures, learning them well, and then learning how to apply that to our life and how to season our speech with it. Then we ask, okay, if that's what wisdom is, then how do I get it? If I'm supposed to pursue it, how do I pursue wisdom? The first answer is one that I just mentioned. Read the Bible. If we want to be people who are wise, how do we be wise? How do we grow in wisdom? Steep yourself in this. Know this book. Read it. If there's pockets that you've not read before, pursue them. Years ago, I realized I had read through the Minor Prophets, which is the last 12 books of the Old Testament, and they are incredibly boring. But I realized there was a gap of knowledge. I did not know them as well as I knew the rest of Scripture. And so I bought a commentary, and I set myself about going through the commentary and reading through the minor prophets so that I could have a better working understanding of them. That working understanding of the minor prophets has availed me zero so far, but I'm looking forward to when God uses that latent knowledge. But it's there. If you want to grow in wisdom, pursue this book. Read it. Study it. We ought to be Christians. We ought to be reading the Gospels at least once a year. We ought to be reading Scripture every day. If there are areas of this book with which you are unfamiliar, read them. Do it yourself. I had a couple sit with me for some premarital counseling this week, and they articulated the desire to grow spiritually. And I said, okay, if that's what you want to do, how do you want to do that? And they said, small group, serve in church, be consistent in church. And I said, that's great. That's two hours a week. What are you going to do the rest of the week? And I helped them see that what they need to do is learn to feed themselves from God's Word. If you're reliant upon me for 30 minutes a week to teach you scripture, that is a terrible plan. I'm not that good. And I don't have enough time to cover it. You can never miss a week. If that's what you want to do, if that's what we all want to do as a church, we don't want to read the Bible, we just want Nate to teach it to us. All right, listen. Next January, we're going to give it a year. Next January, I'll start in Genesis 1. And I'll go verse by verse. We'll go through the whole Bible together, but here's the deal. You can't miss any weeks, and you can't bail out on a three-year series. You got to come the whole time. All right? You can't get bored. No one's allowed to leave. There's zero attrition during that series. And if you miss a week, you got to listen. See? That's untenable. So if you want wisdom, you got to learn to feed yourself. If there are pockets of this book that you're unfamiliar with, it is on you and you alone to begin to explore them. This is the first way and the most important way we get wisdom. Another way we get wisdom, and this is advice for only some of us. This is advice for Harris. It is not advice for Aaron. Shut up. Shut up. Just listen. This is advice for me. This is not advice for Jen. Just shut your mouth. In conversation, so often, if you're wired like me, I'm in, I'm paying attention, I'm enjoying the conversation, but what you just said triggered a story that I want to tell you now. What you just said made me think of something that I want to mention to you now. So now, rather than listening attentively, I'm just looking at you nodding my head because I get it. I know what you're saying and I'm disinterested now. I'm waiting for you to go like this so that I can open my mouth. If we want to be people who are wise, then we should shut up and listen. Listen in small group. Listen at dinner parties. Listen to your spouse. Listen to your children. Listen and learn. Even if the person you're talking to is not someone you're particularly impressed with for whatever reason. You're probably then talking to me. But even if the person you're talking to is someone that you're not impressed with, you still have something you can learn from them. So be quiet and listen. Be slow to speak. And as James says, slow to become angry. And listen. Shut your mouth and open your ears. This is how we gain wisdom. Another way we gain wisdom is to simply be around wise people. And it's extra important around wise people that we listen to them and that we ask good questions and we listen to their responses and we watch. I can't tell you, I can't tell you one of my great privileges is to get to serve on the elder board. Because when I serve on the elder board, I'm surrounded by spiritually mature, thoughtful, godly men and women. And I interact with them on a very regular basis. And I get to watch how these men and women enter into conflict. How they exchange ideas. I get to listen to how they pray every time we meet. I get to see how they host when we go to homes for dinners on the third Tuesday of the month for our fellowship meeting. I get to watch them do life. And it's a huge privilege for me to get to watch these people who oftentimes have more years under their belt than I do, to watch how they host, to watch how they contradict, to watch how they intervene and how they interject, and then to hear how they pray. There's so much to learn from wise people if we will surround ourselves with them. The last thing I wanted to mention about how to pursue wisdom is a few weeks ago I talked about guarding our heart. And I gave us the image of the cup, which Lily printed off for me, a sticker of her own face to put on my cup. And this is, now I have John on the other side. So feel free to take a look at the end of the service. But I talked about the cup and that when you're jostled, what comes out of you is what you were filled up with. And the thing that I failed to mention in that sermon and that I wish I would have said is sometimes it's about not putting the wrong things in our cup and in our lives. But more than that, it's about putting the right things in our lives. That Philippians verse, Philippians 4, 8, Finally, brothers, whatsoever things are true, good, noble, are of good report, are praiseworthy, think about these things. So if we want to ask how do we get wisdom, we have to ask what are we filling our cup with? What content are we consuming? When you have a drive, are you listening to music? Are you listening to vapid things? Are you listening like me sometimes to just sports radio, which really doesn't matter, or political radio, which also doesn't matter? I actually think those two are the same. I do pay attention a lot to politics, but I equivocate it to just being a sports fan. It's not as bad as being a Browns fan but I equivocate it to being a sports fan where we have our teams and we root for them and we listen to the talking heads talk about what they think our teams are going to do and then our teams do what they do and it has zero to do with me. It's the same. But it's easy to fill our space with that. Just vapid content that doesn't help us or prosper us in any way. What if we just supplemented that with one sermon? What if we supplemented that with just for one car ride, I'm going to listen to some praise music and just focus on God right now? Wouldn't that help us grow in wisdom? And the last one is this. I'm just going to do this one quickly about how to pursue wisdom because I really like to preach from Scripture. I don't like to just give life advice from. Because I don't think any of you guys signed up for that, nor do you need it. But as I thought about pursuing wisdom, something that did occur to me was this. Foster your curious mind. Foster your curious mind. I have an Audible account. I get to download a book a month, which is great. And the books that I download are whatever I'm curious about. This goes down rabbit holes. I got curious about World War I, so I listened to a book called The World Undone by G.J. Meyer on World War I, and it was great. Then I realized that the Ottomans kind of had some influence there, and I didn't know anything about them. Then I listened to a book about the Ottomans. Then I realized I didn't know how Germany was formed. Then I listened to a book that was a military history of the Prussian-speaking people. It was terrible. But that made me curious about the next thing. And I realized, yeah, I go back to the Ottomans. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about medieval knights going in and trying to conquer Jerusalem against Solomon. So let me listen to that. And I just followed it. And every next book was because something spurred some curiosity in me. And I'm not setting myself up as moral exemplar here. I'm just saying that if we want to grow in wisdom and in understanding, then take care of your curious mind. Instead of listening and consuming things that don't help you and that don't matter, maybe supplement that with something you're curious about and begin to learn. But if we want to grow in wisdom like Solomon says we should, then we should employ our curious minds. Now, as I finish, the last question is, why is wisdom so valuable? Why does Solomon prize it like this? Why does he say it's the most important thing? Well, the first reason we see in Kings, in chapter 3, in that passage that I read, wisdom pleases the Lord. Wisdom pleases the Lord. Now, I don't know about you, but Gibby used to pray this prayer when he first started here. He would say, God, let our praise bring a smile across your face. And that's a really wonderful thought. And I don't know how often you think God smiles at you. It is more often than you think it is. But if you're like me, I think it's rare. And I don't really know how to make God smile. I don't really know all the time how to make God proud. But this is a very simple fix for that. You want to please God? You want to make Him proud of you? Pursue wisdom. The pursuit of wisdom in and of itself, of good, godly, biblical wisdom, pleases God. So set yourselves about pursuing it. The other thing that wisdom does is that wisdom brings peace. We see this in the Proverbs 2 passage. Wisdom brings peace. I remember early in my career, in a previous life, I was a teacher. And I would get an email from my boss, a guy named Anthony Knight. And he'd say, hey, I need to see you in my office this afternoon at 3 o'clock. It's like 10 o'clock in the morning. And as soon as I read that email, what's going on in my head? Oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh oh crud. I don't want to do this. It's like Nancy Lasavita was the HR person at IBM for a little while. Nobody wanted to get a call. Nobody wanted an email from Nancy. Hey, I need to talk to you this afternoon at 3 o'clock. Oh, geez, oh Pete. I'm more scared of her than anyone in this church. I used to get those emails. I need to see you at 3 o'clock. And then I'd spend the rest of my day fretting about what it could be. Right? Oh gosh, what did I do? Did I say something to a student? Did I not turn in this? What could I have done wrong? And I just would think of all the different ways I was in trouble. And then I'd go see Mr. Knight at three o'clock, go, hey man, you want to see me? And he'd go, yeah, we need someone to run the scoreboard for the basketball game this afternoon, want to see if you're available. Yeah, you got it. What's it pay? 50 bucks? I'm in. Fast forward that now, I still get those emails pretty regularly. Or I'll have people on Sunday morning. Hey, it's time for me and you to get some lunch. Let's email this week. Okay. Jeffy did that to me this week. He didn't want to talk about nothing. But they'll ask me, let's go to lunch. And old Nate would have fretted all week. I'd have gone to gin. Gosh, Amo wants to get lunch with me. What do you think it's about? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he wants to play the keyboard again. I don't know. Maybe he thinks we need to buy new lights. Maybe he'd like one of the chairs with the armrests on it. I don't know. He's getting up there. It might be about time. I don't know. We talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. What do you think it is? What do you think it is? What do you think it is? Over the years, this little bit of wisdom has taught me not to worry about it. The meeting's never as bad as you think it is. And now, when people ask to go to lunch with me and they don't give me a reason why, I just say, yeah. And we put it on the calendar. And do you know the next time I think about that meeting is when my alert goes off 30 minutes prior to the meeting. And I go, oh, crud, I have to meet with Phil today for lunch. Better get going. Because wisdom has taught me and experience has taught me that whatever they want to talk about is not going to be as bad as I think it is. And even if it is worse, there's nothing I can do about it beforehand. It's going to be okay. Wisdom, experience brings peace. Whatever the unknown is ahead of us, it's going to be okay. It might not be as bad as we think it is. And even if it is, there's nothing I can do right now to handle it. But when we pursue wisdom, we grow in our ability to be peaceful. Last one. Wisdom is so valuable because wisdom engenders trust. Wisdom engenders trust. There are people in your life that when something big happens, when something's going on, and you just need an ear to tell. There are people in your life where you've got this big thing going on in your life. You've got this big thing happening. This thing happened with your spouse, with your wife, or your husband, or this is going on with your kids, or you're facing this, or you're just walking through a time where it's just dark and you're depressed and you're anxious and you don't know what to do. Life feels heavy and it just so happens that you're going to lunch with your friend. Some of our friends are the kinds of friends that we don't share that with because we don't trust them because they'll go tell other people. We don't trust them to carry that well. Some of your friends are the kinds of people that you're so relieved that you're going to see them that day because they're the exact kind of person that you need to talk to because you know that you can trust them. Those people are wise. The people that you can trust are wise. And the question there is, which one of those two friends do you want to be? Do you want to be the kind of person that people don't share things with you because they don't feel like they can trust you? Because that's a sign of immaturity and a lack of wisdom. Or do you want to be the kind of person that can carry your friend's burdens with them because they trust you? So, this whole series, every week, has been different glimpses of different kinds of wisdom. But this week, as we finish, we land on the admonition from Solomon. Whatever you do, get wisdom. And that's what I want to encourage you to pursue as you go.

Hey. Thanks for being here on this Friday night. Normally, I say things like, my name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. I usually do that for the benefit of people who are visiting or maybe unfamiliar with Grace, but I highly doubt that there's a large population of those people on a Friday night service. So, hey, Grace, this is fun. I got a text. I went to Gibby, Aaron Gibson, at the beginning of the week, and I said, listen, man, weather doesn't look good for this weekend either, but come heck or high water, me and you are going to get there on Sunday morning, and we're going to at least live stream a sermon. We have to do that. We can't miss two weeks in a row. And he said, yeah, I agree. Even if we have to spend the night at the church, that's what we're going to do. So we said, okay. Then I got a text from Betty Rock back there next to the thermostat. She likes to sit next to the thermostat so she can complain about it, but she never actually touches it and does anything about it. She just is like me. You'd rather complain than actually do something. But she texted me, and she said, how about we do a Friday night service to get ahead of the weather? And I texted her back all the reasons why that was a terrible idea, and that would never work. And then I went to work, and I told the staff about the idea, and they all went, that sounds like a pretty good idea. I'm going to wrap up our series called You'll Be Glad You Did. And as Aaron mentioned in the announcements, the whole idea of it has been Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, and we're going to see more about that this week and why that's the case, wrote the book of Proverbs. Also, I've been getting over a cough this week, so you might have to bear with me. But he wrote the book of Proverbs, and it's proverbial wisdom. It's wisdom passed down to us from the wisest man to ever live, from a very righteous man, from one of the best kings to ever serve the nation of Israel, and from someone that God blessed directly. And so the idea has been if we'll simply listen to the advice that we find in Proverbs and employ that in our lives, that this year if we listen to it and we abide by it, we will be glad that we did. And so I wanted to cap the series off with really a synopsis of Proverbs chapters 2 and 3. Because in Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, Solomon really digs in on wisdom. And I would highly encourage you, if you haven't read them or if you haven't read them in a while, to open up your Bible. You might do it during this sermon if you get bored. I don't care. It'd be better than listening to me. Read Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, where wisdom is almost personified. In chapter 3, it's referred to as feminine, she. And I'm not trying to make the Holy Spirit a woman, but when I read it, it almost reads like the Holy Spirit is embodied or personified by wisdom. And the thrust of those two chapters is essentially whatever you do, whatever you do, whatever you pursue, whatever's important to you, get wisdom. No matter what else is important to you, get wisdom, is really the synopsis of chapters two and three. And so I thought that would be the best place to land the plane as we finished up our series, essentially from Proverbs. Now to get there, I want to share with you something that happens in my marriage and in my family that may happen in yours, may not. And I think I've told you guys this before, but by way of reminder, every time we're driving down the road and the lottery, the Powerball lottery, gets like exorbitantly high to where it starts making like national news. It's at like $356 million. It's at $420 million. It's at $786 million, whatever it is. It starts getting real high, and you see it on the billboard, and we're driving down the road, and we see that number. What do you guys do? You look at your spouse. What would you do if you had that money? How would you spend that? You get $400 million. Uncle Sam gets 50%. What are you going to do with the other 50? And you start talking about what you'd do if you were the lottery winner. Now listen, I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life. Not from some moral high horse, but just from an economic one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But I do actually want to just take a minute and encourage you guys to buy lottery tickets and tithe on your winnings. This is how we're going to get into that building. All right, so go to the gas stations all around after the service. Take that from the sermon. Especially you kids, go play the lottery. What a mess. It's Friday night, no one's here. This is great. But we start playing that game. What would you do if you had $400 million? And it always, I don't know about y'all, if y'all play this game, but it always starts out for us pretty conservative. I wouldn't do anything crazy. I'd probably just drive the car that I have. You know, I don't need anything extravagant. Well, it does have 120,000 miles on it, so I need to be practical. Maybe a Range Rover. Maybe a, I should probably just sit in a Maybach, right? Like I should just sit in one if I've got $400 million. Like maybe a BMW 740. Maybe that's what I need. You know, and so then it just starts to progress. And it's like, we wouldn't sell the house. We don't need anything extravagant. But maybe a condo in New York City. Maybe we get a little beach house on 30A. Now, you North Carolina folks don't know about 30A. You do, FSU. I see you. 30A is on the Florida Panhandle. It's the road that connects Destin to Panama City. It's the best beaches in the country, all right? They're amazing, and we grew up going there, and now they're too far away, and so we have to take Lily to Emerald Isle, and it's really tragic. So let's get a house there, but then it's like, well, if we're going to get a house there, we've got to be able to get there. So should we start thinking about a private jet? And then I'm going to need a cook. Probably need a personal trainer. This house is not good enough. We need a bigger Raleigh house. And then it just starts escalating. But certainly we've all had that thought process. If I were to win a million dollars, if I were a hundred million dollars, what would I do with it? If I hit the lottery, what would I do? And then when we were little kids, remember we used to play that game, if you rubbed the bottle and the genie came out, what would you wish for? You get three wishes, you can't wish for more wishes. What would you wish for, right? And we've all done that exercise. And we all have, in some ways, different answers and in a lot of ways, very similar answers. And I bring that up because this is a situation that Solomon actually faced himself. If you look in 1 Kings 3, if you look in 1 Kings 3, what you see is that God appeared to Solomon in a dream. And he said to Solomon, ask of me whatever you will and I will grant it to you. Now that's pretty big deal. If God came to you in a dream, if God showed himself to you and said, ask of me whatever you want and I will give it to you, what would you ask for? God, I'd like to be financially secure in such a way that I don't have to think about money for the rest of my life. I don't need to be wealthy. I just don't want to have to ever worry about it. Would it be, God, repair my marriage? Repair my relationship with my children? Would it be make me the best at my job so that I can prosper? Make me rich. Make me powerful. Give me health. Let me live a long life. What would you ask for? Well, here's what Solomon asked for. And this is what qualifies him to write the book of Proverbs and warrants us looking at his wisdom in that book. This is what he requests. In 1 Kings 3, I'm going to read verses 9-12. Hang on just a second. He says this. So God said to him, since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies, which that's a fun one. I don't think that occurred to any of us that we could wish for someone else to die, but maybe that's on your agenda. I will do what you have asked. I will give a wise, I will give you a wise and discerning heart so that there will never be anyone like you, nor will there ever be. So God goes to Solomon in a dream and he says, ask me anything you want and I'll give it to you. And Solomon's in this predicament because he's a relatively young man and he's just taken over as king and he's got a big plate in front of him. And so he is in this situation in life where he realizes his need for wisdom. He realizes his need for wisdom. And so that's what he asked for. I have this job to do. Make me fit to do it. Make me wise so that I can lead your people. And it says that God was pleased, and we're going to come back to this. It says that God was pleased with this. And the next point is Solomon wished for wisdom. He could have wished for anything, and he chose wisdom. And it says that God was pleased with this. And then he said, because you didn't ask for these other things that would have been more selfish and self-serving, I'm going to grant this to you. And then, oh, by the way, Solomon was the richest king to ever rule Israel. He built more infrastructure, more monuments, more palaces. He built the temple. He built more of Israel than any king ever did. Israel never experienced greater prosperity than it did under the rule of King Solomon. And you can trace it back to the beginning of his rule when he was granted this opportunity from God, ask me whatever you want and I'll give it to you, and he chose to ask for wisdom. And that foundation of wisdom led to the prosperity of Israel throughout his reign. It's like it's a Rosetta Stone for life, or a foundation of life. He could have asked, make me invincible to my enemies. Make us prosper. Give me wealth. But instead he asked for wisdom and then that was the spring from which everything else grew. From this wish for wisdom, we get the book of Proverbs. And like I said, chapters 2 and 3 really serve as kind of a synopsis or a rallying cry for the entire book. In chapter 2, Solomon writes to his listeners, and when I start to read, you're going to see that it starts off with the word, my son. So this is like a letter to his son. And I don't know about you, but whenever I have the opportunity to see those things, there's a book I read recently that I brought up in a sermon before called Notes on Being a Man. And it's a guy that I like, writes a book on manhood. And really, as you begin to read it, you can tell it's really written to his two boys. If you get something out of this, great, but this is written to my two boys. And I love a mom writing to a daughter, a father writing to a son. I love getting to get a glimpse into what a dad thinks is important. As a matter of fact, when I started this job, when I took this job, now nine years ago, my dad wrote me about a six-page letter, notes on being a pastor. And he said, because, I said, why'd you write this down? And he said, because if I told you, you wouldn't listen. He was right. But now I have it, and I've had it for nine years. And I go back to it periodically and reread it. And the wisdom continues. The wisdom persists. It continues to be valuable. So I love when a father will write a letter to his child about here's what you need to understand and here's what's important. And this is what Solomon is doing in Proverbs. And we get to be, we get the benefits of being his offspring when we see this. This is what he says. Listen, please. and cry aloud for understanding. And if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. This is Solomon's... He wasn't dying as he wrote this, but you could consider it his dying words to his son. If you get nothing else, pursue wisdom. Look for it as for silver. Search for it as for hidden treasure. Get wisdom. And he says, if you do this, two things that are remarkable to me. The first thing is you will understand the fear of the Lord. There's another proverb that Solomon wrote that says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Which means until you properly fear God, until you have a proper awe and respect for God, until you put him in his place and by necessity you in your place, you cannot begin to pursue wisdom. People who have themselves on an equal playing field with God or who think God doesn't exist, and so then they are the Lord of their own life. People who put themselves on par with God, whether they believe in him or not, Solomon says, cannot achieve true wisdom. And I agree with that. If we want to pursue wisdom, if we want to be people who are wise, we have to acknowledge that there is a God who exists. We have to acknowledge that the Bible starts out, the first sentence of the Bible, in the beginning God created, which establishes the fundamental relationship for life. God is the creator. We are the creation. He is higher than us. And we cannot pursue wisdom until we acknowledge that hierarchy. And listen, and I've said this before, anytime we have a sin issue, anytime we have a heart issue, anytime our life gets disjointed, anytime things start to go bad for us spiritually, the fundamental reason, no matter what else has happened, the fundamental reason for that is we forgot our place and we put ourselves on par with God. We are not in a place to pursue wisdom. So the first thing he says is if you pursue this, you will begin to know the fear of the Lord, which puts us in a position to pursue wisdom. The second thing he says, and I loved this one, it says, and you will find the knowledge of God. Now you guys, most of you have been here for a while. And you might remember two Januaries ago I did a whole series and a prayer in Ephesians. That's my favorite prayer in the Bible. I have it stenciled, written out and framed on my office wall at home. I'm not trying to brag, but I do have a home office. And in that prayer, Paul says, for this reason, I bow my knees before the Father for whom every family on heaven and on earth is named. And then he goes on to pray for the church in Ephesus. And he doesn't pray for circumstances and he doesn't pray for prosperity and he doesn't pray for health. And the conclusion of the prayer is so that you may be filled with all the fullness of the knowledge of God. And I never pieced it together before. I always thought that was an original thought from Paul, that that's what he was praying, that you would be filled with the fullness of the knowledge of God. And when I pray for you, and when I pray for your children, and when I pray for our church, that's what I pray. Not that things would go well, not that we would prosper, not that we would be healthy, not that we would avoid tragedy, but that whatever happens would conspire to bring us to a deeper knowledge of God. And I always thought that was Paul's thought, but it's not. He's echoing Solomon from Proverbs who says, if you pursue wisdom, then you will be filled with the knowledge of God, which then rebounds and resounds in Ephesians thousands of years later when Paul writes that letter. So that's what happens when we pursue wisdom. As we begin to know the fear of the Lord and we are filled with the knowledge of God. So we are left with chapter 3, kind of the synopsis, the crescendo of his encouragement to pursue wisdom. In chapter 3, he says this, verse 13. Those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. I love that verse. Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace. Because those were written about Jen. But the rest is about wisdom. And he makes the point, whatever you do, get wisdom. Prize it. Consider it the most important thing to pursue. And that becomes really clear as you look at the life of Solomon, you look at the writings of Solomon. But even as we reflect on wisdom and we agree with Solomon that we should pursue it, we're left with some questions. First one would just be how do we define wisdom? And this is not going to be groundbreaking for any of you. This is the definition that many of you would probably give as well. But just so we have a working definition and we're on the same page, we're going to define it this way tonight. Wisdom is knowledge applied. Wisdom is knowledge applied. We've all known people who have grown older and not grown up, yeah? People who just because they participate in the relentless march of time does not mean they get smarter. As a matter of fact, I see you smiling. You know somebody who's got dumber. As a matter of fact, sometimes we atrophy because we quit learning and we quit pursuing wisdom. We put our head in the sand or we put our head in an echo chamber and we don't learn anything. And we grow old, but we don't grow up. So wisdom is knowledge applied. It's growing up. It's getting mature. That's what wisdom is. So then we ask, okay, if I need to pursue wisdom, and wisdom is knowledge applied, and biblically speaking, it's biblical knowledge applied. It's growing deeper in the scriptures, learning them well, and then learning how to apply that to our life and how to season our speech with it. Then we ask, okay, if that's what wisdom is, then how do I get it? If I'm supposed to pursue it, how do I pursue wisdom? The first answer is one that I just mentioned. Read the Bible. If we want to be people who are wise, how do we be wise? How do we grow in wisdom? Steep yourself in this. Know this book. Read it. If there's pockets that you've not read before, pursue them. Years ago, I realized I had read through the Minor Prophets, which is the last 12 books of the Old Testament, and they are incredibly boring. But I realized there was a gap of knowledge. I did not know them as well as I knew the rest of Scripture. And so I bought a commentary, and I set myself about going through the commentary and reading through the minor prophets so that I could have a better working understanding of them. That working understanding of the minor prophets has availed me zero so far, but I'm looking forward to when God uses that latent knowledge. But it's there. If you want to grow in wisdom, pursue this book. Read it. Study it. We ought to be Christians. We ought to be reading the Gospels at least once a year. We ought to be reading Scripture every day. If there are areas of this book with which you are unfamiliar, read them. Do it yourself. I had a couple sit with me for some premarital counseling this week, and they articulated the desire to grow spiritually. And I said, okay, if that's what you want to do, how do you want to do that? And they said, small group, serve in church, be consistent in church. And I said, that's great. That's two hours a week. What are you going to do the rest of the week? And I helped them see that what they need to do is learn to feed themselves from God's Word. If you're reliant upon me for 30 minutes a week to teach you scripture, that is a terrible plan. I'm not that good. And I don't have enough time to cover it. You can never miss a week. If that's what you want to do, if that's what we all want to do as a church, we don't want to read the Bible, we just want Nate to teach it to us. All right, listen. Next January, we're going to give it a year. Next January, I'll start in Genesis 1. And I'll go verse by verse. We'll go through the whole Bible together, but here's the deal. You can't miss any weeks, and you can't bail out on a three-year series. You got to come the whole time. All right? You can't get bored. No one's allowed to leave. There's zero attrition during that series. And if you miss a week, you got to listen. See? That's untenable. So if you want wisdom, you got to learn to feed yourself. If there are pockets of this book that you're unfamiliar with, it is on you and you alone to begin to explore them. This is the first way and the most important way we get wisdom. Another way we get wisdom, and this is advice for only some of us. This is advice for Harris. It is not advice for Aaron. Shut up. Shut up. Just listen. This is advice for me. This is not advice for Jen. Just shut your mouth. In conversation, so often, if you're wired like me, I'm in, I'm paying attention, I'm enjoying the conversation, but what you just said triggered a story that I want to tell you now. What you just said made me think of something that I want to mention to you now. So now, rather than listening attentively, I'm just looking at you nodding my head because I get it. I know what you're saying and I'm disinterested now. I'm waiting for you to go like this so that I can open my mouth. If we want to be people who are wise, then we should shut up and listen. Listen in small group. Listen at dinner parties. Listen to your spouse. Listen to your children. Listen and learn. Even if the person you're talking to is not someone you're particularly impressed with for whatever reason. You're probably then talking to me. But even if the person you're talking to is someone that you're not impressed with, you still have something you can learn from them. So be quiet and listen. Be slow to speak. And as James says, slow to become angry. And listen. Shut your mouth and open your ears. This is how we gain wisdom. Another way we gain wisdom is to simply be around wise people. And it's extra important around wise people that we listen to them and that we ask good questions and we listen to their responses and we watch. I can't tell you, I can't tell you one of my great privileges is to get to serve on the elder board. Because when I serve on the elder board, I'm surrounded by spiritually mature, thoughtful, godly men and women. And I interact with them on a very regular basis. And I get to watch how these men and women enter into conflict. How they exchange ideas. I get to listen to how they pray every time we meet. I get to see how they host when we go to homes for dinners on the third Tuesday of the month for our fellowship meeting. I get to watch them do life. And it's a huge privilege for me to get to watch these people who oftentimes have more years under their belt than I do, to watch how they host, to watch how they contradict, to watch how they intervene and how they interject, and then to hear how they pray. There's so much to learn from wise people if we will surround ourselves with them. The last thing I wanted to mention about how to pursue wisdom is a few weeks ago I talked about guarding our heart. And I gave us the image of the cup, which Lily printed off for me, a sticker of her own face to put on my cup. And this is, now I have John on the other side. So feel free to take a look at the end of the service. But I talked about the cup and that when you're jostled, what comes out of you is what you were filled up with. And the thing that I failed to mention in that sermon and that I wish I would have said is sometimes it's about not putting the wrong things in our cup and in our lives. But more than that, it's about putting the right things in our lives. That Philippians verse, Philippians 4, 8, Finally, brothers, whatsoever things are true, good, noble, are of good report, are praiseworthy, think about these things. So if we want to ask how do we get wisdom, we have to ask what are we filling our cup with? What content are we consuming? When you have a drive, are you listening to music? Are you listening to vapid things? Are you listening like me sometimes to just sports radio, which really doesn't matter, or political radio, which also doesn't matter? I actually think those two are the same. I do pay attention a lot to politics, but I equivocate it to just being a sports fan. It's not as bad as being a Browns fan but I equivocate it to being a sports fan where we have our teams and we root for them and we listen to the talking heads talk about what they think our teams are going to do and then our teams do what they do and it has zero to do with me. It's the same. But it's easy to fill our space with that. Just vapid content that doesn't help us or prosper us in any way. What if we just supplemented that with one sermon? What if we supplemented that with just for one car ride, I'm going to listen to some praise music and just focus on God right now? Wouldn't that help us grow in wisdom? And the last one is this. I'm just going to do this one quickly about how to pursue wisdom because I really like to preach from Scripture. I don't like to just give life advice from. Because I don't think any of you guys signed up for that, nor do you need it. But as I thought about pursuing wisdom, something that did occur to me was this. Foster your curious mind. Foster your curious mind. I have an Audible account. I get to download a book a month, which is great. And the books that I download are whatever I'm curious about. This goes down rabbit holes. I got curious about World War I, so I listened to a book called The World Undone by G.J. Meyer on World War I, and it was great. Then I realized that the Ottomans kind of had some influence there, and I didn't know anything about them. Then I listened to a book about the Ottomans. Then I realized I didn't know how Germany was formed. Then I listened to a book that was a military history of the Prussian-speaking people. It was terrible. But that made me curious about the next thing. And I realized, yeah, I go back to the Ottomans. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about medieval knights going in and trying to conquer Jerusalem against Solomon. So let me listen to that. And I just followed it. And every next book was because something spurred some curiosity in me. And I'm not setting myself up as moral exemplar here. I'm just saying that if we want to grow in wisdom and in understanding, then take care of your curious mind. Instead of listening and consuming things that don't help you and that don't matter, maybe supplement that with something you're curious about and begin to learn. But if we want to grow in wisdom like Solomon says we should, then we should employ our curious minds. Now, as I finish, the last question is, why is wisdom so valuable? Why does Solomon prize it like this? Why does he say it's the most important thing? Well, the first reason we see in Kings, in chapter 3, in that passage that I read, wisdom pleases the Lord. Wisdom pleases the Lord. Now, I don't know about you, but Gibby used to pray this prayer when he first started here. He would say, God, let our praise bring a smile across your face. And that's a really wonderful thought. And I don't know how often you think God smiles at you. It is more often than you think it is. But if you're like me, I think it's rare. And I don't really know how to make God smile. I don't really know all the time how to make God proud. But this is a very simple fix for that. You want to please God? You want to make Him proud of you? Pursue wisdom. The pursuit of wisdom in and of itself, of good, godly, biblical wisdom, pleases God. So set yourselves about pursuing it. The other thing that wisdom does is that wisdom brings peace. We see this in the Proverbs 2 passage. Wisdom brings peace. I remember early in my career, in a previous life, I was a teacher. And I would get an email from my boss, a guy named Anthony Knight. And he'd say, hey, I need to see you in my office this afternoon at 3 o'clock. It's like 10 o'clock in the morning. And as soon as I read that email, what's going on in my head? Oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh oh crud. I don't want to do this. It's like Nancy Lasavita was the HR person at IBM for a little while. Nobody wanted to get a call. Nobody wanted an email from Nancy. Hey, I need to talk to you this afternoon at 3 o'clock. Oh, geez, oh Pete. I'm more scared of her than anyone in this church. I used to get those emails. I need to see you at 3 o'clock. And then I'd spend the rest of my day fretting about what it could be. Right? Oh gosh, what did I do? Did I say something to a student? Did I not turn in this? What could I have done wrong? And I just would think of all the different ways I was in trouble. And then I'd go see Mr. Knight at three o'clock, go, hey man, you want to see me? And he'd go, yeah, we need someone to run the scoreboard for the basketball game this afternoon, want to see if you're available. Yeah, you got it. What's it pay? 50 bucks? I'm in. Fast forward that now, I still get those emails pretty regularly. Or I'll have people on Sunday morning. Hey, it's time for me and you to get some lunch. Let's email this week. Okay. Jeffy did that to me this week. He didn't want to talk about nothing. But they'll ask me, let's go to lunch. And old Nate would have fretted all week. I'd have gone to gin. Gosh, Amo wants to get lunch with me. What do you think it's about? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he wants to play the keyboard again. I don't know. Maybe he thinks we need to buy new lights. Maybe he'd like one of the chairs with the armrests on it. I don't know. He's getting up there. It might be about time. I don't know. We talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. What do you think it is? What do you think it is? What do you think it is? Over the years, this little bit of wisdom has taught me not to worry about it. The meeting's never as bad as you think it is. And now, when people ask to go to lunch with me and they don't give me a reason why, I just say, yeah. And we put it on the calendar. And do you know the next time I think about that meeting is when my alert goes off 30 minutes prior to the meeting. And I go, oh, crud, I have to meet with Phil today for lunch. Better get going. Because wisdom has taught me and experience has taught me that whatever they want to talk about is not going to be as bad as I think it is. And even if it is worse, there's nothing I can do about it beforehand. It's going to be okay. Wisdom, experience brings peace. Whatever the unknown is ahead of us, it's going to be okay. It might not be as bad as we think it is. And even if it is, there's nothing I can do right now to handle it. But when we pursue wisdom, we grow in our ability to be peaceful. Last one. Wisdom is so valuable because wisdom engenders trust. Wisdom engenders trust. There are people in your life that when something big happens, when something's going on, and you just need an ear to tell. There are people in your life where you've got this big thing going on in your life. You've got this big thing happening. This thing happened with your spouse, with your wife, or your husband, or this is going on with your kids, or you're facing this, or you're just walking through a time where it's just dark and you're depressed and you're anxious and you don't know what to do. Life feels heavy and it just so happens that you're going to lunch with your friend. Some of our friends are the kinds of friends that we don't share that with because we don't trust them because they'll go tell other people. We don't trust them to carry that well. Some of your friends are the kinds of people that you're so relieved that you're going to see them that day because they're the exact kind of person that you need to talk to because you know that you can trust them. Those people are wise. The people that you can trust are wise. And the question there is, which one of those two friends do you want to be? Do you want to be the kind of person that people don't share things with you because they don't feel like they can trust you? Because that's a sign of immaturity and a lack of wisdom. Or do you want to be the kind of person that can carry your friend's burdens with them because they trust you? So, this whole series, every week, has been different glimpses of different kinds of wisdom. But this week, as we finish, we land on the admonition from Solomon. Whatever you do, get wisdom. And that's what I want to encourage you to pursue as you go.

Hey. Thanks for being here on this Friday night. Normally, I say things like, my name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. I usually do that for the benefit of people who are visiting or maybe unfamiliar with Grace, but I highly doubt that there's a large population of those people on a Friday night service. So, hey, Grace, this is fun. I got a text. I went to Gibby, Aaron Gibson, at the beginning of the week, and I said, listen, man, weather doesn't look good for this weekend either, but come heck or high water, me and you are going to get there on Sunday morning, and we're going to at least live stream a sermon. We have to do that. We can't miss two weeks in a row. And he said, yeah, I agree. Even if we have to spend the night at the church, that's what we're going to do. So we said, okay. Then I got a text from Betty Rock back there next to the thermostat. She likes to sit next to the thermostat so she can complain about it, but she never actually touches it and does anything about it. She just is like me. You'd rather complain than actually do something. But she texted me, and she said, how about we do a Friday night service to get ahead of the weather? And I texted her back all the reasons why that was a terrible idea, and that would never work. And then I went to work, and I told the staff about the idea, and they all went, that sounds like a pretty good idea. I'm going to wrap up our series called You'll Be Glad You Did. And as Aaron mentioned in the announcements, the whole idea of it has been Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, and we're going to see more about that this week and why that's the case, wrote the book of Proverbs. Also, I've been getting over a cough this week, so you might have to bear with me. But he wrote the book of Proverbs, and it's proverbial wisdom. It's wisdom passed down to us from the wisest man to ever live, from a very righteous man, from one of the best kings to ever serve the nation of Israel, and from someone that God blessed directly. And so the idea has been if we'll simply listen to the advice that we find in Proverbs and employ that in our lives, that this year if we listen to it and we abide by it, we will be glad that we did. And so I wanted to cap the series off with really a synopsis of Proverbs chapters 2 and 3. Because in Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, Solomon really digs in on wisdom. And I would highly encourage you, if you haven't read them or if you haven't read them in a while, to open up your Bible. You might do it during this sermon if you get bored. I don't care. It'd be better than listening to me. Read Proverbs chapters 2 and 3, where wisdom is almost personified. In chapter 3, it's referred to as feminine, she. And I'm not trying to make the Holy Spirit a woman, but when I read it, it almost reads like the Holy Spirit is embodied or personified by wisdom. And the thrust of those two chapters is essentially whatever you do, whatever you do, whatever you pursue, whatever's important to you, get wisdom. No matter what else is important to you, get wisdom, is really the synopsis of chapters two and three. And so I thought that would be the best place to land the plane as we finished up our series, essentially from Proverbs. Now to get there, I want to share with you something that happens in my marriage and in my family that may happen in yours, may not. And I think I've told you guys this before, but by way of reminder, every time we're driving down the road and the lottery, the Powerball lottery, gets like exorbitantly high to where it starts making like national news. It's at like $356 million. It's at $420 million. It's at $786 million, whatever it is. It starts getting real high, and you see it on the billboard, and we're driving down the road, and we see that number. What do you guys do? You look at your spouse. What would you do if you had that money? How would you spend that? You get $400 million. Uncle Sam gets 50%. What are you going to do with the other 50? And you start talking about what you'd do if you were the lottery winner. Now listen, I've never bought a lottery ticket in my life. Not from some moral high horse, but just from an economic one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But I do actually want to just take a minute and encourage you guys to buy lottery tickets and tithe on your winnings. This is how we're going to get into that building. All right, so go to the gas stations all around after the service. Take that from the sermon. Especially you kids, go play the lottery. What a mess. It's Friday night, no one's here. This is great. But we start playing that game. What would you do if you had $400 million? And it always, I don't know about y'all, if y'all play this game, but it always starts out for us pretty conservative. I wouldn't do anything crazy. I'd probably just drive the car that I have. You know, I don't need anything extravagant. Well, it does have 120,000 miles on it, so I need to be practical. Maybe a Range Rover. Maybe a, I should probably just sit in a Maybach, right? Like I should just sit in one if I've got $400 million. Like maybe a BMW 740. Maybe that's what I need. You know, and so then it just starts to progress. And it's like, we wouldn't sell the house. We don't need anything extravagant. But maybe a condo in New York City. Maybe we get a little beach house on 30A. Now, you North Carolina folks don't know about 30A. You do, FSU. I see you. 30A is on the Florida Panhandle. It's the road that connects Destin to Panama City. It's the best beaches in the country, all right? They're amazing, and we grew up going there, and now they're too far away, and so we have to take Lily to Emerald Isle, and it's really tragic. So let's get a house there, but then it's like, well, if we're going to get a house there, we've got to be able to get there. So should we start thinking about a private jet? And then I'm going to need a cook. Probably need a personal trainer. This house is not good enough. We need a bigger Raleigh house. And then it just starts escalating. But certainly we've all had that thought process. If I were to win a million dollars, if I were a hundred million dollars, what would I do with it? If I hit the lottery, what would I do? And then when we were little kids, remember we used to play that game, if you rubbed the bottle and the genie came out, what would you wish for? You get three wishes, you can't wish for more wishes. What would you wish for, right? And we've all done that exercise. And we all have, in some ways, different answers and in a lot of ways, very similar answers. And I bring that up because this is a situation that Solomon actually faced himself. If you look in 1 Kings 3, if you look in 1 Kings 3, what you see is that God appeared to Solomon in a dream. And he said to Solomon, ask of me whatever you will and I will grant it to you. Now that's pretty big deal. If God came to you in a dream, if God showed himself to you and said, ask of me whatever you want and I will give it to you, what would you ask for? God, I'd like to be financially secure in such a way that I don't have to think about money for the rest of my life. I don't need to be wealthy. I just don't want to have to ever worry about it. Would it be, God, repair my marriage? Repair my relationship with my children? Would it be make me the best at my job so that I can prosper? Make me rich. Make me powerful. Give me health. Let me live a long life. What would you ask for? Well, here's what Solomon asked for. And this is what qualifies him to write the book of Proverbs and warrants us looking at his wisdom in that book. This is what he requests. In 1 Kings 3, I'm going to read verses 9-12. Hang on just a second. He says this. So God said to him, since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies, which that's a fun one. I don't think that occurred to any of us that we could wish for someone else to die, but maybe that's on your agenda. I will do what you have asked. I will give a wise, I will give you a wise and discerning heart so that there will never be anyone like you, nor will there ever be. So God goes to Solomon in a dream and he says, ask me anything you want and I'll give it to you. And Solomon's in this predicament because he's a relatively young man and he's just taken over as king and he's got a big plate in front of him. And so he is in this situation in life where he realizes his need for wisdom. He realizes his need for wisdom. And so that's what he asked for. I have this job to do. Make me fit to do it. Make me wise so that I can lead your people. And it says that God was pleased, and we're going to come back to this. It says that God was pleased with this. And the next point is Solomon wished for wisdom. He could have wished for anything, and he chose wisdom. And it says that God was pleased with this. And then he said, because you didn't ask for these other things that would have been more selfish and self-serving, I'm going to grant this to you. And then, oh, by the way, Solomon was the richest king to ever rule Israel. He built more infrastructure, more monuments, more palaces. He built the temple. He built more of Israel than any king ever did. Israel never experienced greater prosperity than it did under the rule of King Solomon. And you can trace it back to the beginning of his rule when he was granted this opportunity from God, ask me whatever you want and I'll give it to you, and he chose to ask for wisdom. And that foundation of wisdom led to the prosperity of Israel throughout his reign. It's like it's a Rosetta Stone for life, or a foundation of life. He could have asked, make me invincible to my enemies. Make us prosper. Give me wealth. But instead he asked for wisdom and then that was the spring from which everything else grew. From this wish for wisdom, we get the book of Proverbs. And like I said, chapters 2 and 3 really serve as kind of a synopsis or a rallying cry for the entire book. In chapter 2, Solomon writes to his listeners, and when I start to read, you're going to see that it starts off with the word, my son. So this is like a letter to his son. And I don't know about you, but whenever I have the opportunity to see those things, there's a book I read recently that I brought up in a sermon before called Notes on Being a Man. And it's a guy that I like, writes a book on manhood. And really, as you begin to read it, you can tell it's really written to his two boys. If you get something out of this, great, but this is written to my two boys. And I love a mom writing to a daughter, a father writing to a son. I love getting to get a glimpse into what a dad thinks is important. As a matter of fact, when I started this job, when I took this job, now nine years ago, my dad wrote me about a six-page letter, notes on being a pastor. And he said, because, I said, why'd you write this down? And he said, because if I told you, you wouldn't listen. He was right. But now I have it, and I've had it for nine years. And I go back to it periodically and reread it. And the wisdom continues. The wisdom persists. It continues to be valuable. So I love when a father will write a letter to his child about here's what you need to understand and here's what's important. And this is what Solomon is doing in Proverbs. And we get to be, we get the benefits of being his offspring when we see this. This is what he says. Listen, please. and cry aloud for understanding. And if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. This is Solomon's... He wasn't dying as he wrote this, but you could consider it his dying words to his son. If you get nothing else, pursue wisdom. Look for it as for silver. Search for it as for hidden treasure. Get wisdom. And he says, if you do this, two things that are remarkable to me. The first thing is you will understand the fear of the Lord. There's another proverb that Solomon wrote that says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Which means until you properly fear God, until you have a proper awe and respect for God, until you put him in his place and by necessity you in your place, you cannot begin to pursue wisdom. People who have themselves on an equal playing field with God or who think God doesn't exist, and so then they are the Lord of their own life. People who put themselves on par with God, whether they believe in him or not, Solomon says, cannot achieve true wisdom. And I agree with that. If we want to pursue wisdom, if we want to be people who are wise, we have to acknowledge that there is a God who exists. We have to acknowledge that the Bible starts out, the first sentence of the Bible, in the beginning God created, which establishes the fundamental relationship for life. God is the creator. We are the creation. He is higher than us. And we cannot pursue wisdom until we acknowledge that hierarchy. And listen, and I've said this before, anytime we have a sin issue, anytime we have a heart issue, anytime our life gets disjointed, anytime things start to go bad for us spiritually, the fundamental reason, no matter what else has happened, the fundamental reason for that is we forgot our place and we put ourselves on par with God. We are not in a place to pursue wisdom. So the first thing he says is if you pursue this, you will begin to know the fear of the Lord, which puts us in a position to pursue wisdom. The second thing he says, and I loved this one, it says, and you will find the knowledge of God. Now you guys, most of you have been here for a while. And you might remember two Januaries ago I did a whole series and a prayer in Ephesians. That's my favorite prayer in the Bible. I have it stenciled, written out and framed on my office wall at home. I'm not trying to brag, but I do have a home office. And in that prayer, Paul says, for this reason, I bow my knees before the Father for whom every family on heaven and on earth is named. And then he goes on to pray for the church in Ephesus. And he doesn't pray for circumstances and he doesn't pray for prosperity and he doesn't pray for health. And the conclusion of the prayer is so that you may be filled with all the fullness of the knowledge of God. And I never pieced it together before. I always thought that was an original thought from Paul, that that's what he was praying, that you would be filled with the fullness of the knowledge of God. And when I pray for you, and when I pray for your children, and when I pray for our church, that's what I pray. Not that things would go well, not that we would prosper, not that we would be healthy, not that we would avoid tragedy, but that whatever happens would conspire to bring us to a deeper knowledge of God. And I always thought that was Paul's thought, but it's not. He's echoing Solomon from Proverbs who says, if you pursue wisdom, then you will be filled with the knowledge of God, which then rebounds and resounds in Ephesians thousands of years later when Paul writes that letter. So that's what happens when we pursue wisdom. As we begin to know the fear of the Lord and we are filled with the knowledge of God. So we are left with chapter 3, kind of the synopsis, the crescendo of his encouragement to pursue wisdom. In chapter 3, he says this, verse 13. Those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding. I love that verse. Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace. Because those were written about Jen. But the rest is about wisdom. And he makes the point, whatever you do, get wisdom. Prize it. Consider it the most important thing to pursue. And that becomes really clear as you look at the life of Solomon, you look at the writings of Solomon. But even as we reflect on wisdom and we agree with Solomon that we should pursue it, we're left with some questions. First one would just be how do we define wisdom? And this is not going to be groundbreaking for any of you. This is the definition that many of you would probably give as well. But just so we have a working definition and we're on the same page, we're going to define it this way tonight. Wisdom is knowledge applied. Wisdom is knowledge applied. We've all known people who have grown older and not grown up, yeah? People who just because they participate in the relentless march of time does not mean they get smarter. As a matter of fact, I see you smiling. You know somebody who's got dumber. As a matter of fact, sometimes we atrophy because we quit learning and we quit pursuing wisdom. We put our head in the sand or we put our head in an echo chamber and we don't learn anything. And we grow old, but we don't grow up. So wisdom is knowledge applied. It's growing up. It's getting mature. That's what wisdom is. So then we ask, okay, if I need to pursue wisdom, and wisdom is knowledge applied, and biblically speaking, it's biblical knowledge applied. It's growing deeper in the scriptures, learning them well, and then learning how to apply that to our life and how to season our speech with it. Then we ask, okay, if that's what wisdom is, then how do I get it? If I'm supposed to pursue it, how do I pursue wisdom? The first answer is one that I just mentioned. Read the Bible. If we want to be people who are wise, how do we be wise? How do we grow in wisdom? Steep yourself in this. Know this book. Read it. If there's pockets that you've not read before, pursue them. Years ago, I realized I had read through the Minor Prophets, which is the last 12 books of the Old Testament, and they are incredibly boring. But I realized there was a gap of knowledge. I did not know them as well as I knew the rest of Scripture. And so I bought a commentary, and I set myself about going through the commentary and reading through the minor prophets so that I could have a better working understanding of them. That working understanding of the minor prophets has availed me zero so far, but I'm looking forward to when God uses that latent knowledge. But it's there. If you want to grow in wisdom, pursue this book. Read it. Study it. We ought to be Christians. We ought to be reading the Gospels at least once a year. We ought to be reading Scripture every day. If there are areas of this book with which you are unfamiliar, read them. Do it yourself. I had a couple sit with me for some premarital counseling this week, and they articulated the desire to grow spiritually. And I said, okay, if that's what you want to do, how do you want to do that? And they said, small group, serve in church, be consistent in church. And I said, that's great. That's two hours a week. What are you going to do the rest of the week? And I helped them see that what they need to do is learn to feed themselves from God's Word. If you're reliant upon me for 30 minutes a week to teach you scripture, that is a terrible plan. I'm not that good. And I don't have enough time to cover it. You can never miss a week. If that's what you want to do, if that's what we all want to do as a church, we don't want to read the Bible, we just want Nate to teach it to us. All right, listen. Next January, we're going to give it a year. Next January, I'll start in Genesis 1. And I'll go verse by verse. We'll go through the whole Bible together, but here's the deal. You can't miss any weeks, and you can't bail out on a three-year series. You got to come the whole time. All right? You can't get bored. No one's allowed to leave. There's zero attrition during that series. And if you miss a week, you got to listen. See? That's untenable. So if you want wisdom, you got to learn to feed yourself. If there are pockets of this book that you're unfamiliar with, it is on you and you alone to begin to explore them. This is the first way and the most important way we get wisdom. Another way we get wisdom, and this is advice for only some of us. This is advice for Harris. It is not advice for Aaron. Shut up. Shut up. Just listen. This is advice for me. This is not advice for Jen. Just shut your mouth. In conversation, so often, if you're wired like me, I'm in, I'm paying attention, I'm enjoying the conversation, but what you just said triggered a story that I want to tell you now. What you just said made me think of something that I want to mention to you now. So now, rather than listening attentively, I'm just looking at you nodding my head because I get it. I know what you're saying and I'm disinterested now. I'm waiting for you to go like this so that I can open my mouth. If we want to be people who are wise, then we should shut up and listen. Listen in small group. Listen at dinner parties. Listen to your spouse. Listen to your children. Listen and learn. Even if the person you're talking to is not someone you're particularly impressed with for whatever reason. You're probably then talking to me. But even if the person you're talking to is someone that you're not impressed with, you still have something you can learn from them. So be quiet and listen. Be slow to speak. And as James says, slow to become angry. And listen. Shut your mouth and open your ears. This is how we gain wisdom. Another way we gain wisdom is to simply be around wise people. And it's extra important around wise people that we listen to them and that we ask good questions and we listen to their responses and we watch. I can't tell you, I can't tell you one of my great privileges is to get to serve on the elder board. Because when I serve on the elder board, I'm surrounded by spiritually mature, thoughtful, godly men and women. And I interact with them on a very regular basis. And I get to watch how these men and women enter into conflict. How they exchange ideas. I get to listen to how they pray every time we meet. I get to see how they host when we go to homes for dinners on the third Tuesday of the month for our fellowship meeting. I get to watch them do life. And it's a huge privilege for me to get to watch these people who oftentimes have more years under their belt than I do, to watch how they host, to watch how they contradict, to watch how they intervene and how they interject, and then to hear how they pray. There's so much to learn from wise people if we will surround ourselves with them. The last thing I wanted to mention about how to pursue wisdom is a few weeks ago I talked about guarding our heart. And I gave us the image of the cup, which Lily printed off for me, a sticker of her own face to put on my cup. And this is, now I have John on the other side. So feel free to take a look at the end of the service. But I talked about the cup and that when you're jostled, what comes out of you is what you were filled up with. And the thing that I failed to mention in that sermon and that I wish I would have said is sometimes it's about not putting the wrong things in our cup and in our lives. But more than that, it's about putting the right things in our lives. That Philippians verse, Philippians 4, 8, Finally, brothers, whatsoever things are true, good, noble, are of good report, are praiseworthy, think about these things. So if we want to ask how do we get wisdom, we have to ask what are we filling our cup with? What content are we consuming? When you have a drive, are you listening to music? Are you listening to vapid things? Are you listening like me sometimes to just sports radio, which really doesn't matter, or political radio, which also doesn't matter? I actually think those two are the same. I do pay attention a lot to politics, but I equivocate it to just being a sports fan. It's not as bad as being a Browns fan but I equivocate it to being a sports fan where we have our teams and we root for them and we listen to the talking heads talk about what they think our teams are going to do and then our teams do what they do and it has zero to do with me. It's the same. But it's easy to fill our space with that. Just vapid content that doesn't help us or prosper us in any way. What if we just supplemented that with one sermon? What if we supplemented that with just for one car ride, I'm going to listen to some praise music and just focus on God right now? Wouldn't that help us grow in wisdom? And the last one is this. I'm just going to do this one quickly about how to pursue wisdom because I really like to preach from Scripture. I don't like to just give life advice from. Because I don't think any of you guys signed up for that, nor do you need it. But as I thought about pursuing wisdom, something that did occur to me was this. Foster your curious mind. Foster your curious mind. I have an Audible account. I get to download a book a month, which is great. And the books that I download are whatever I'm curious about. This goes down rabbit holes. I got curious about World War I, so I listened to a book called The World Undone by G.J. Meyer on World War I, and it was great. Then I realized that the Ottomans kind of had some influence there, and I didn't know anything about them. Then I listened to a book about the Ottomans. Then I realized I didn't know how Germany was formed. Then I listened to a book that was a military history of the Prussian-speaking people. It was terrible. But that made me curious about the next thing. And I realized, yeah, I go back to the Ottomans. I don't know anything. I don't know anything about medieval knights going in and trying to conquer Jerusalem against Solomon. So let me listen to that. And I just followed it. And every next book was because something spurred some curiosity in me. And I'm not setting myself up as moral exemplar here. I'm just saying that if we want to grow in wisdom and in understanding, then take care of your curious mind. Instead of listening and consuming things that don't help you and that don't matter, maybe supplement that with something you're curious about and begin to learn. But if we want to grow in wisdom like Solomon says we should, then we should employ our curious minds. Now, as I finish, the last question is, why is wisdom so valuable? Why does Solomon prize it like this? Why does he say it's the most important thing? Well, the first reason we see in Kings, in chapter 3, in that passage that I read, wisdom pleases the Lord. Wisdom pleases the Lord. Now, I don't know about you, but Gibby used to pray this prayer when he first started here. He would say, God, let our praise bring a smile across your face. And that's a really wonderful thought. And I don't know how often you think God smiles at you. It is more often than you think it is. But if you're like me, I think it's rare. And I don't really know how to make God smile. I don't really know all the time how to make God proud. But this is a very simple fix for that. You want to please God? You want to make Him proud of you? Pursue wisdom. The pursuit of wisdom in and of itself, of good, godly, biblical wisdom, pleases God. So set yourselves about pursuing it. The other thing that wisdom does is that wisdom brings peace. We see this in the Proverbs 2 passage. Wisdom brings peace. I remember early in my career, in a previous life, I was a teacher. And I would get an email from my boss, a guy named Anthony Knight. And he'd say, hey, I need to see you in my office this afternoon at 3 o'clock. It's like 10 o'clock in the morning. And as soon as I read that email, what's going on in my head? Oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh, crud, oh oh crud. I don't want to do this. It's like Nancy Lasavita was the HR person at IBM for a little while. Nobody wanted to get a call. Nobody wanted an email from Nancy. Hey, I need to talk to you this afternoon at 3 o'clock. Oh, geez, oh Pete. I'm more scared of her than anyone in this church. I used to get those emails. I need to see you at 3 o'clock. And then I'd spend the rest of my day fretting about what it could be. Right? Oh gosh, what did I do? Did I say something to a student? Did I not turn in this? What could I have done wrong? And I just would think of all the different ways I was in trouble. And then I'd go see Mr. Knight at three o'clock, go, hey man, you want to see me? And he'd go, yeah, we need someone to run the scoreboard for the basketball game this afternoon, want to see if you're available. Yeah, you got it. What's it pay? 50 bucks? I'm in. Fast forward that now, I still get those emails pretty regularly. Or I'll have people on Sunday morning. Hey, it's time for me and you to get some lunch. Let's email this week. Okay. Jeffy did that to me this week. He didn't want to talk about nothing. But they'll ask me, let's go to lunch. And old Nate would have fretted all week. I'd have gone to gin. Gosh, Amo wants to get lunch with me. What do you think it's about? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he wants to play the keyboard again. I don't know. Maybe he thinks we need to buy new lights. Maybe he'd like one of the chairs with the armrests on it. I don't know. He's getting up there. It might be about time. I don't know. We talk about it, talk about it, talk about it. What do you think it is? What do you think it is? What do you think it is? Over the years, this little bit of wisdom has taught me not to worry about it. The meeting's never as bad as you think it is. And now, when people ask to go to lunch with me and they don't give me a reason why, I just say, yeah. And we put it on the calendar. And do you know the next time I think about that meeting is when my alert goes off 30 minutes prior to the meeting. And I go, oh, crud, I have to meet with Phil today for lunch. Better get going. Because wisdom has taught me and experience has taught me that whatever they want to talk about is not going to be as bad as I think it is. And even if it is worse, there's nothing I can do about it beforehand. It's going to be okay. Wisdom, experience brings peace. Whatever the unknown is ahead of us, it's going to be okay. It might not be as bad as we think it is. And even if it is, there's nothing I can do right now to handle it. But when we pursue wisdom, we grow in our ability to be peaceful. Last one. Wisdom is so valuable because wisdom engenders trust. Wisdom engenders trust. There are people in your life that when something big happens, when something's going on, and you just need an ear to tell. There are people in your life where you've got this big thing going on in your life. You've got this big thing happening. This thing happened with your spouse, with your wife, or your husband, or this is going on with your kids, or you're facing this, or you're just walking through a time where it's just dark and you're depressed and you're anxious and you don't know what to do. Life feels heavy and it just so happens that you're going to lunch with your friend. Some of our friends are the kinds of friends that we don't share that with because we don't trust them because they'll go tell other people. We don't trust them to carry that well. Some of your friends are the kinds of people that you're so relieved that you're going to see them that day because they're the exact kind of person that you need to talk to because you know that you can trust them. Those people are wise. The people that you can trust are wise. And the question there is, which one of those two friends do you want to be? Do you want to be the kind of person that people don't share things with you because they don't feel like they can trust you? Because that's a sign of immaturity and a lack of wisdom. Or do you want to be the kind of person that can carry your friend's burdens with them because they trust you? So, this whole series, every week, has been different glimpses of different kinds of wisdom. But this week, as we finish, we land on the admonition from Solomon. Whatever you do, get wisdom. And that's what I want to encourage you to pursue as you go.