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Ephesians

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Well, good morning. Good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be the lead pastor here. And I actually am kind of laughing to myself because this morning's sermon is about family. And during that worship set, I think we got some good illustrations of family. Power goes out, it goes wrong. You guys kept singing. It was actually really beautiful. And I was proud of you in that moment. I just want it to be stated for the record that there was a surge back there, and there's a button that turns on all of the equipment that the sound comes through, and I remembered that and hit the button. That's right. I saved Christmas. The other really funny thing that happened up here that I just want to share with you guys because families have inside jokes, and this is a good one one for us. In the song, Hark the Herald, I'm going to do it, Aaron. In the song, Hark the Herald, Angels Sing, there's a verse where it said there's a line that says, like, hail incarnate deity. But that's a tough line to sing, and Aaron can't quite get it. So when he says it, he sings hail incarnate deity, like carne asada, like tacos, right? And you can't hear him sing the song and not hail the incarnate deity, which is pretty great because he is also the God of carne asada. And so I swore I wasn't going to look at him. We were laughing before the service about it in rehearsal. I swore I wasn't going to look at him. I didn't want to throw him off. So I didn't, but then he backs off. You know, he does the thing where he backs off the mic, right? and everybody sings, and it's a spiritual moment. It was not spiritual in Hark the Herald. He had to compose himself. So then I lean over to Jen and tell her what he's doing, and then he sees me talking to her. I'm sorry. And so then he starts laughing again. So then he gives you guys a spiritual chance to sing the song again while he composes himself. So anyways, that's what happened during Hark the Herald. But yeah, this morning is about family because when we think of Christmas, we think of family, right? It's inevitably a part of the Christmas season. And that means different things to different people. For some of us, it means really good things. For some of us, when we think about Christmas and we think about the holidays and we think about seeing our families, our moms and our dads, our grandparents, our brothers and sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, all that stuff, it's a good, sweet time. We're really excited about it. We're really looking forward to it. And if that's you, that's fantastic. For others of us, it's stressful. I talked to a couple people this morning. You got big Christmas plans? And they go, yeah, we got to get lots of places, you know, or we got lots of people coming over, lots of big stuff to do. And for those who say, gosh, it feels stressful because there's so many people coming over, there's going to be so many folks there, or I've got so many people to go see, like, man, there's a lot of folks who'd be pretty jealous of that. Those are the golden years, man. Soak those up. For others of us, when we think about family at Christmas, it's stressful. We know we're going to be stepping into an environment, we're going to be sitting around a dinner table, where there's certain landmines that are going to be laid for us, and we better not step on them. And some of you want to step on them real bad, right? And your wife's like, please don't do it. Please don't say the thing. The conversation gets political. You want to say your thing. You know you shouldn't. Some of us are stepping into stressful situations, and not even just in a silly way, but family's just tense. Family's hard right now. And then there are others and these are the people that I think about the most. And if this is you, just know that I may not be praying for you by name, but I'm praying for you in general and your situation as often as I can remember to do it. There are others for whom thinking about family during Christmas is hard because either there's loss or there's loneliness, right? Christmas is hard because this is the first Christmas with that empty seat where someone's not where they're supposed to be and everything's going to feel different. Or it's been five years since the loss, but it still hurts the same when you sit around. I know that when my family lost my papa, Christmases were just, they just were never the same. They just weren't. I haven't had that much joy in a Christmas since we lost him. For others in our body, Christmas is a time of loneliness. It's a time when everybody else goes to their families and we might not have ours around us or at all. And if that's you, I pray for you often because I hate that for you. But I think that no matter where we are on that spectrum of good, dreading, where it just hurts no matter where we are, and for many of us, for most of us, we're probably a Venn diagram of all of those, right? As we approach, I doubt anyone's only good and anyone's only bad. There's just a good mix in there. But I think that the principles that come out of the Bible around family can actually encourage and inspire us no matter where we sit on the spectrum. And I've actually been really excited and looking forward to sharing this sermon with you because this sermon is one that kind of came through a little aha moment in my office. I knew that I was going to be preaching about family, and I didn't really know what I wanted to preach. I had no great inspiration. None of the ideas that I had sounded any good to me. And so I was just kind of sitting in my office thinking, and I do, when I don't know what to preach about, I do what I would assume most pastors do or should do, is I just kind of sit down with the Bible and I'm like, all right, God, what does your Bible say about this thing? And I just go through passages or I open up the Bible and I read passages until one catches me and I go, oh, that's the thing. That's what grace needs this week. And then I preach the Bible. And so I wasn't sure what to preach about. And Aaron Gibson happened to be in my office at the time. So he was my guinea pig that morning. And I said, hey, man, I got to preach about family. Here's what I'm thinking. Can you kind of help me make sense of this? Does anything click with you? What should I pursue? And so we started talking back and forth about this idea of family. And I started thinking through, well, how does the Bible address family? Where does it talk about family? And to be honest with you, the Bible is pretty scant in terms of passages that directly address family and tell parents how to parents and kids how to kid and grandparents how to grandparent. Like it doesn't have a lot of that in there. So I'm trying to figure out what is God, what does your word say about family and how does that apply to grace? And Aaron said something that triggered a thought in my head, and as often goes in these conversations when I'm trying to figure out what to preach, and I'm just talking to whoever is closest that I can grab and will listen to me. He said something that triggered a thought, and I started going through scripture in my head, and he was still, he was, he at that point became Charlie Brown's mom. Like, there was words coming out, but I'm looking out the window window and I said, I got it, man. Thanks so much. I'm excited. And so I just thought about family over the course of scripture and what it's supposed to be and what it's supposed to do and how God designed it. So if we look in the Old Testament, where we do have more directives about family, one of the first things we see is that family makes the top 10 list, which is actually pretty cool. It's in the 10 commandments, right? One of the commandments, honor your father and mother and the Lord for this is right. And that commandment looks different for different people at different ages. It looks different for me to honor my parents now than it did when I was 11, and it'll look different in 20 years than it does right now. And it has different implications in different family scenarios, right? Blended families and stuff like that. And so honor your father and mother is this just profound principle that comes out of the Old Testament where God prioritizes it enough to put it in the Ten Commandments. And implicit within that commandment to the parents is, hey, act in a way that's worthy of honor, right? Earn the honor of your children if they're going to be commanded to give it to you. And then there's other places in Scripture. Proverbs has some things to say that if we obey, our parents will live a long and fruitful life and that parents are told to raise a child up in the way they must go and they will not depart from it. So we raise them up by teaching them God's principles. But there is one passage, it's actually two different passages in the same book that say the same thing that really kind of outline for us or show us, depict for us the purpose of family as God intended it. So we can find this in Deuteronomy 6 or Deuteronomy 11. They say the same things. I just like the way Deuteronomy 11 is worded just a little bit better. So I'm going to read that to you now so we can see God's design for family. He's just taught them his law, told them how to live, basically giving them what their version of the Bible was, and this is what he says as a result of it. You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, listen, parents, I just taught you my law. I just shared with you my love and my truth. Now, I want you to put those all over your home. I want you to bind them on your hands. I want you to bind them on your forehead. I want you to write them on your walls. I want you to write them on your doorpost. And I want you to talk about them with your children when you're waking and before you sleep, as you come and you go, as you sit down for mealtimes, talk about my word with your children. And so what we see, and this is a profound thing, what we see is that God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his gospel. God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his love and for his truth. Now, they wouldn't have called it the gospel in the Old Testament, but we call it the gospel. The gospel is the story of the good news of Jesus. It's God's love and God's truth. And we can see from Deuteronomy and from the way the family is structured in the Old Testament that it is God's design for the family, that it would be the primary delivery system of his love and his truth in the life of children as they grow up. That the purpose of family from a spiritual perspective is to create the safe space to incubate the faith of our children so that they can grow up knowing who their God is. And then there's a generational implication in this where we do it for our children and for their children and for the children's children. And there's a responsibility forever to turn around and teach the previous generation the faith that you inherited from your mother and father. That the divine design for families is that a mama and a daddy would impart their faith on their children. You can't overstate how important this is. That our children, listen, if you have kids in your house, listen, that our children would grow up looking at our faith and knowing that this is the faith that they can learn. This is the faith that they can mimic. This is the faith that they can follow. They ought to grow up in our home looking at a godly marriage and knowing this is what I want one day. What I want one day is the way my father loves my mother. What I want one day is the way my mom loves my dad. That's what I want one day. Our kids should grow up in homes and be able to say that. They should grow up in homes where they are discipled, where we parents take it as our responsibility to impart what we know about our faith onto our children. Can I tell you that now that I have two kids, you know what keeps me up at night theologically when I think through difficult questions or truths of scripture or realities of walking with God? Do you know who I'm thinking about when I'm trying to figure those things out for myself? Because it ain't you. It's not my church, it's my children. I want to impart a good faith onto them so that when they enter into adulthood, they have a firm foundation. That they encounter less hiccups than I did. That's our job, parents. Our job in the home is to create a safe space for our kids to grow up where they know that they are loved by their God and by their parents and that their God and their parents are proud of them. We create that incubator in the home so they grow up in this safe space and they have a good family and then they turn around and they do that to their kids. That's clearly the divine design of family in the Bible and it's clearly what our families are supposed to do for us is to be God's delivery system of his grace and truth and love in our lives. We should be able to look at the generations that came before us and see what it is to have a heart for God and walk in that. And grandparents, you're not off the hook, okay? You might be thinking, well, my kids are, that ship has sailed, my kids are grown, they're out, what happened happened, and now we have to live in that reality, and that may be true. But this commandment in Deuteronomy was given to a culture of people that lived intergenerationally. They lived as clans. They lived together. So this isn't just for parents and children. This is for grandparents and adult children and grandchildren. And those of you who have adult kids, can I just tell you something? I don't care how old they are. They'd be 41, like me. They'd be 31 or 21. We still need mamas and daddies, okay? We still need parents. We still need people that we can look at and ask questions to. We still need an older generation that we can be vulnerable with, that can have grace with us, that can watch some of the mistakes that we're about to make and say, hey, hey, brother, I love you. Don't do that. Older generations in this room, my generation, we still need mamas and daddies. You never get too old for that. And those of you who are older than me and you have parents who are still alive, you know you still need them too. And you know you still miss them. This responsibility never fades. It's our job to love on and demonstrate to the generations that come. And my generation, it's going to sound like I'm making jokes because I make jokes because I'm a dummy sometimes, but I'm not making jokes right now. We need to watch people age gracefully so that we know what it is to do that. We need to watch people care for their aging parents so we know how to do that with tenderness and grace when it's our turn. We need to watch how you interact with your adult children who don't make some of the choices you want them to make or who do. We need to see how that's done. We need to watch that. We need that in our lives. And so this family, as the delivery system for God's grace and goodness and truth and instruction in our life, that never fades. And we never graduate out of that need. And now some of you, as I say this, you have good families. You're like these couples that I get to marry sometimes. I do a fair amount of weddings every year, and one of my favorite things that I get to do on occasion within a wedding ceremony is when the couple will talk to me. I always talk to them in premarital counseling about their families, and what was it like growing up in your home? How are your mamas and your daddies and that kind of thing? And every now and again, I'll be working with a couple and they will say, we had great families. We had great parents growing up. I loved growing up in my home. We want our home to look like their home. They were wonderful and yada, yada, yada. And I'll say, well, do you want to honor them in the service? And they're like, yeah, that would be great. And so what I do is after the exchanging of rings, I always pray over the couple. And what we'll do sometimes is we'll surprise the parents and I'll invite them up in the ceremony and I'll have some words written about how they understand that they're standing on shoulders of their parents who gave them this great upbringing and they're so grateful for it and they want to do the same thing in their home. So they want to acknowledge their parents in the wedding ceremony as they create a new family and their parents come up and lay hands on them and I get to pray over all of them. And that's just a sweet moment to see that generational love and faith, to see parents who took this seriously and kids who realize that their parents did that for them. So some of us come from good families. And those of us that do, Jen and I come from great families. We should acknowledge that we were born on third base. We did not hit a triple. God gave us a good set of cards, and we should be grateful for that. So part of today is just encouraging us that we should praise God for our good families. If you come from a good family, if you have a mom and a daddy who took this seriously, who modeled God's love for you and who taught you their faith, will you text them today? Will you call them? Will you tell them that you're grateful for that? Will you acknowledge the goodness that you come from? Because as I talk about this, what a family should do, how God designed the family, how he purposed it, I know that there are plenty of people in this room who feel bad because they weren't that. Who feel angry because my family didn't do this for me. Yeah, that's what a family's supposed to do. That's what a dad's supposed to do. My dad, he walked out that door when I was eight, so I didn't get this, man. I didn't get that idyllic childhood. I'm not looking forward to Christmas. It's going to be tense. It's going to be difficult. Sometimes we have families that let us down. We come to church, and everything's good, and everything smiles, and everybody's buddy-buddy, and behind the scenes, the wife knows and the kids know, he is heck to deal with. The husband knows and the kids know, man, mom's not the same person when she's not at church. Well, we come from broken families. We come from abusive families. We come from addicted families. And we feel like spiritual orphans because we just don't have somebody pouring into us like God designed family to do. And others of us, we had a great family. And then there was the diagnosis. Or the accident. And then there was loss. And we don't have that family that we used to have. We don't have that person to look to like we need to. And so I think the real question becomes, yeah, this is what God designed family to do, to be the divine delivery system of his goodness and his grace and his truth and his love. But for many of us, our families have fallen short of that. So the question becomes, what do we do when our family hasn't done what it's supposed to do? What are we supposed to do when our family has left some gaps? My parents didn't teach me their faith. My dad left. My mom left. My childhood was not good. I love my dad. He taught me faith, but he's gone now, and I don't know who to ask. I love my mom. She taught me faith, but she's gone now, and I don't know who to talk to or who to go to, and I don't know how I'm going to navigate these adult years on my own. What do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? And our situation is less than idyllic. To that question, I began to think about the New Testament. We talked about what the Old Testament has to say about family. What does the New Testament have to say about family? What's the language around family after Jesus comes on the scene? Once Christmas arrives, how does that impact family? And when I thought about the New Testament, I can't think of anywhere in the New Testament that specifically addresses family and family behavior. There's stuff about children honoring parents. There's stuff about gender roles within a family, but there's not anything about family dynamics in the Bible where it's specifically addressed in the New Testament that I'm aware of. But I began to think through the times where family is mentioned in the New Testament. And do you know that most of the time that family is mentioned in the New Testament, it's mentioned as imagery for how the church ought to behave? It's mentioned to help us understand how we, the church, should behave towards each other and begin to understand one another. That most of the family language in the New Testament is not actually about physical family. It's imagery about our spiritual family. I'll show you what I'm talking about so that you know that I'm not making this up. On your notes, there's a list of references there. We're not going to put all of them up on the screen. I just want you to know that if you want to go back and open up your Bible and double check me on this, there you go. There's the footnotes. You can do that. But in Ephesians 2, Paul talks about, he introduces this idea of a spiritual family. He says that we're no longer aliens and sojourners. We're no longer spiritual orphans, but that we are now, we now have membership in this heavenly family. And so he introduces to us this idea of an additional family. And then in 1 Timothy, I like this passage, in 1 Timothy chapter 5, Paul is writing to his disciple Timothy, who he's sent off to Ephesus to be the pastor there, the church in Ephesus, where we see the book of Ephesians. Timothy was the pastor pastor there trained by Paul. And 1 and 2 Timothy are letters of advice to him as he leads this church. And in chapter 5 of the first letter, he says, when you have conflicts with people, let me tell you how I want you to handle it. If you need to confront a man who's older than you, confront him as a father. If you need to talk to a woman who's older than you, confront her as a mother. If you need to talk to a younger man, one of your peers, talk to him as a brother. A younger woman, talk to her as a sister. And so what it tells me as a pastor is that when I talk to you in meetings and conversation, on Sunday morning, when I preach, I preach to you as if I'm preaching to my own family. I treat you like I would my own family. And I do not think that that instruction, though it's not explicit in the text, I do not think that that instruction is limited to just pastors and elders, but all of God's children. That you would regard men who are older than you as fathers, women who are older than you as mothers, and then your peers as brothers and sisters. That we should treat each other as family. And I'm going to get to it in a minute as to why I think this. But I think that is such a profoundly good teaching that we should treat each other like that. Then in Matthew chapter 12, Jesus says this really interesting thing where he's preaching to some people and he's talking with a crowd and somebody kind of cuts through and says, hey, Jesus, your mother and your brothers are here to see you. And Jesus just says, my mother and my brothers are the ones who obey the will of God. Like they're family, this is family too. And then in Galatians, we see Paul again talk about this concept of family and how we've been adopted into God's family and we are heirs to the throne of God. And this is locked in for us most in Romans chapter 8. So I'm going to read this to you here. Romans chapter 8 verses 14 through 17 really tells us a lot about our spiritual family. Paul writes this, for all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. And that really should say sons and daughters of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but have received the spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by whom we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then heirs, we are Christians, and again, to be a Christian, you simply believe that Jesus is who he says he is, that he did what he said he did, and that he's going to do what he says he's going to do. If you believe those things, then the Bible teaches that God has given you the Spirit as a down payment on your salvation in heaven. And what Paul tells us is when we receive the Spirit, then we are adopted into God's family, that we are heirs to God and co-heirs with Christ. We are brothers and sisters, and Christ is our brother. And so as you think through what the New Testament has to say about family, and you try to answer that question, what do we do when my family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? I think we accept the reality from the New Testament that through the gift of Jesus, we also receive the gift of a new supplemental family. And I meant to change that word supplemental to spiritual. But through the gift of Jesus, through the arrival of Christ, once Jesus shows up in the gospels, the Bible starts to talk differently about family. It's God's way of acknowledging, just like he did the rest of the world, yes, I intended for each and every boy and girl who is born to grow up in a family with parents who love them, who teach them about God, who show them God's love, who model for them maturity in their faith, and who surround them with other people and kind of create this incubator, this safe space for kids to grow up where they know they're loved and they know that God is proud of them. Yeah, that's the design. But God also acknowledges that when sin enters the world, things start to break down and the family is not immune from that. And so what do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We take solace in the fact that we are given a new supplemental spiritual family. And this is probably my favorite thing about grace. It's how much grace feels like my family. It's how much when the power goes out, we don't care, we're going to keep singing. Can I just tell you, I wasn't one bit worried. I wasn't like, oh gosh, what are we going to do if the power went out? You know what we're going to do? We're going to cut the fourth song and I was going to come up here and yell at you. That's what we're going to do. And you know what you guys were going to do? You're going to be totally cool with it. Nobody would leave and be like, that place stinks. And if you did, okay. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it. There wasn't one ounce of stress because you guys are family. Because we love each other. Because we show up for each other. And I was thinking about this reality in just mine and Jen's life. Six years ago, we moved away from our families. And though we have great families, that move created a void for us. Lily and John, our kids, they have great grandparents, but they didn't get to see them as often as we'd like. And so you know what God and his goodness did? He put us in a church that has people that are a generation older than us who love us and who love our children and who we consider to be our Raleigh grandparents, who we can call and say, gosh, something came up. Will you come sit with the kids? And they love to do it. We were given, you know what I was given? I think about this a lot, and I don't think those of you who fit into this category, I don't think you know how grateful I am for you. I have a really good dad. But when I came to this church, I was given a bunch of spiritual fathers who are older than me, who have walked through seasons that I haven't, who pour into me, who love me, who advise me, who befriend me, and who encourage me. And it has become my spiritual family. Jen has women in the church who are a generation older than her, who love on her, who we can go to, who we can ask questions to, who have become our Raleigh mamas and daddies. We have brothers and sisters in this church, in our small group, who we walk through the same seasons of life together, and we can lean on each other, and we're not alone. And that spiritual family here doesn't for one second replace our genetic family. It doesn't for one second replace the families that we were born into, but it supplements those families. And sometimes, even in the loss that we've experienced, sometimes we can get such joy out of our church family that just for a second, we don't think about that as much. So I want you to know that in grace you have a faith family. You have brothers and sisters who want to watch out for you. You have mamas and daddies who want to pour into you. There are children in this church who need your love. There are children in this church who need your direction that you can get involved with and turn around and pour into the younger generations. But this church needs to, according to Scripture, operate as a supplemental family that fills in the gaps that are left behind by the families that we were born into. So what do we do if our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We allow the church to be the place that is the primary delivery system of God's love and of God's grace and of God's truth. We're not just the children, but everybody who's here knows that they are loved. They're loved by their brothers and sisters. They're cared for by their brothers and sisters. They are cared for by their spiritual moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas. And that we believe in them and in who God created them to be and in watching them grow up to become those people. And when I say grow up, I don't just mean 10-year-olds becoming 25-year-olds. I mean someone who is 50, but spiritually they're two, and we get to watch them grow into their faith. So first, know that grace is your family. That's what we are here for. Second, as a family, we want to share the love that we have with everybody who comes in here. We want people to feel like family as soon as they walk in the doors. One of my favorite movies at the holiday season is Family Stone. And it's not, I'm not going to get into the plot of it, but one of the underlying themes of that movie, and they don't address it directly, but I think one of the reasons I love it so much is that that family is set up and you can just tell that everybody who walks in that door is loved and everybody they bring home with them is loved too. And I want Grace to feel like that. That everybody who walks in those doors is loved and is part of our family as soon as they wanna be. And everybody that you invite, we're gonna love them too. No matter who they are, no matter where they've been, no matter what they've done, we're gonna love on them. But I know that some of us have families that have let us down. Some of us had families that don't feel the same. Let God's family of faith be your supplemental family that fills in the gaps. And then that way, we can love each other, encourage each other, and continue to push each other towards Christ. And then once we feel that sense of family here, let's look out and see who God is bringing in and love on them too. I'm going to continue to use grace, faith, family in my language moving forward. And this overview of family in the Bible is exactly why I'm going to do that. I'm going to pray and then we've got some instructions for you after the service. Father, we love you. We thank you for being our heavenly Father. God, we thank you for our good families. Those of us that have them, we're so grateful for them. We thank you for good moms and dads that aren't perfect but love you well and love us too. God, I pray for those walking into Christmas who are walking into stressful situations or hurtful situations. I just pray that you would be with them, that they would see you, that they would know that you were loved, that you would show up in those spaces. And God, I pray that grace can be a place that fills in the gaps for those who are a part of us that were left by the families that they were born into. Give us good, rich, deep relationships, God, that push us towards you and that help us grow and help us know that we're loved by those around us and by you. Let us be a faithful family of faith. In Jesus' name, amen.
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Well, good morning. Good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be the lead pastor here. And I actually am kind of laughing to myself because this morning's sermon is about family. And during that worship set, I think we got some good illustrations of family. Power goes out, it goes wrong. You guys kept singing. It was actually really beautiful. And I was proud of you in that moment. I just want it to be stated for the record that there was a surge back there, and there's a button that turns on all of the equipment that the sound comes through, and I remembered that and hit the button. That's right. I saved Christmas. The other really funny thing that happened up here that I just want to share with you guys because families have inside jokes, and this is a good one one for us. In the song, Hark the Herald, I'm going to do it, Aaron. In the song, Hark the Herald, Angels Sing, there's a verse where it said there's a line that says, like, hail incarnate deity. But that's a tough line to sing, and Aaron can't quite get it. So when he says it, he sings hail incarnate deity, like carne asada, like tacos, right? And you can't hear him sing the song and not hail the incarnate deity, which is pretty great because he is also the God of carne asada. And so I swore I wasn't going to look at him. We were laughing before the service about it in rehearsal. I swore I wasn't going to look at him. I didn't want to throw him off. So I didn't, but then he backs off. You know, he does the thing where he backs off the mic, right? and everybody sings, and it's a spiritual moment. It was not spiritual in Hark the Herald. He had to compose himself. So then I lean over to Jen and tell her what he's doing, and then he sees me talking to her. I'm sorry. And so then he starts laughing again. So then he gives you guys a spiritual chance to sing the song again while he composes himself. So anyways, that's what happened during Hark the Herald. But yeah, this morning is about family because when we think of Christmas, we think of family, right? It's inevitably a part of the Christmas season. And that means different things to different people. For some of us, it means really good things. For some of us, when we think about Christmas and we think about the holidays and we think about seeing our families, our moms and our dads, our grandparents, our brothers and sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, all that stuff, it's a good, sweet time. We're really excited about it. We're really looking forward to it. And if that's you, that's fantastic. For others of us, it's stressful. I talked to a couple people this morning. You got big Christmas plans? And they go, yeah, we got to get lots of places, you know, or we got lots of people coming over, lots of big stuff to do. And for those who say, gosh, it feels stressful because there's so many people coming over, there's going to be so many folks there, or I've got so many people to go see, like, man, there's a lot of folks who'd be pretty jealous of that. Those are the golden years, man. Soak those up. For others of us, when we think about family at Christmas, it's stressful. We know we're going to be stepping into an environment, we're going to be sitting around a dinner table, where there's certain landmines that are going to be laid for us, and we better not step on them. And some of you want to step on them real bad, right? And your wife's like, please don't do it. Please don't say the thing. The conversation gets political. You want to say your thing. You know you shouldn't. Some of us are stepping into stressful situations, and not even just in a silly way, but family's just tense. Family's hard right now. And then there are others and these are the people that I think about the most. And if this is you, just know that I may not be praying for you by name, but I'm praying for you in general and your situation as often as I can remember to do it. There are others for whom thinking about family during Christmas is hard because either there's loss or there's loneliness, right? Christmas is hard because this is the first Christmas with that empty seat where someone's not where they're supposed to be and everything's going to feel different. Or it's been five years since the loss, but it still hurts the same when you sit around. I know that when my family lost my papa, Christmases were just, they just were never the same. They just weren't. I haven't had that much joy in a Christmas since we lost him. For others in our body, Christmas is a time of loneliness. It's a time when everybody else goes to their families and we might not have ours around us or at all. And if that's you, I pray for you often because I hate that for you. But I think that no matter where we are on that spectrum of good, dreading, where it just hurts no matter where we are, and for many of us, for most of us, we're probably a Venn diagram of all of those, right? As we approach, I doubt anyone's only good and anyone's only bad. There's just a good mix in there. But I think that the principles that come out of the Bible around family can actually encourage and inspire us no matter where we sit on the spectrum. And I've actually been really excited and looking forward to sharing this sermon with you because this sermon is one that kind of came through a little aha moment in my office. I knew that I was going to be preaching about family, and I didn't really know what I wanted to preach. I had no great inspiration. None of the ideas that I had sounded any good to me. And so I was just kind of sitting in my office thinking, and I do, when I don't know what to preach about, I do what I would assume most pastors do or should do, is I just kind of sit down with the Bible and I'm like, all right, God, what does your Bible say about this thing? And I just go through passages or I open up the Bible and I read passages until one catches me and I go, oh, that's the thing. That's what grace needs this week. And then I preach the Bible. And so I wasn't sure what to preach about. And Aaron Gibson happened to be in my office at the time. So he was my guinea pig that morning. And I said, hey, man, I got to preach about family. Here's what I'm thinking. Can you kind of help me make sense of this? Does anything click with you? What should I pursue? And so we started talking back and forth about this idea of family. And I started thinking through, well, how does the Bible address family? Where does it talk about family? And to be honest with you, the Bible is pretty scant in terms of passages that directly address family and tell parents how to parents and kids how to kid and grandparents how to grandparent. Like it doesn't have a lot of that in there. So I'm trying to figure out what is God, what does your word say about family and how does that apply to grace? And Aaron said something that triggered a thought in my head, and as often goes in these conversations when I'm trying to figure out what to preach, and I'm just talking to whoever is closest that I can grab and will listen to me. He said something that triggered a thought, and I started going through scripture in my head, and he was still, he was, he at that point became Charlie Brown's mom. Like, there was words coming out, but I'm looking out the window window and I said, I got it, man. Thanks so much. I'm excited. And so I just thought about family over the course of scripture and what it's supposed to be and what it's supposed to do and how God designed it. So if we look in the Old Testament, where we do have more directives about family, one of the first things we see is that family makes the top 10 list, which is actually pretty cool. It's in the 10 commandments, right? One of the commandments, honor your father and mother and the Lord for this is right. And that commandment looks different for different people at different ages. It looks different for me to honor my parents now than it did when I was 11, and it'll look different in 20 years than it does right now. And it has different implications in different family scenarios, right? Blended families and stuff like that. And so honor your father and mother is this just profound principle that comes out of the Old Testament where God prioritizes it enough to put it in the Ten Commandments. And implicit within that commandment to the parents is, hey, act in a way that's worthy of honor, right? Earn the honor of your children if they're going to be commanded to give it to you. And then there's other places in Scripture. Proverbs has some things to say that if we obey, our parents will live a long and fruitful life and that parents are told to raise a child up in the way they must go and they will not depart from it. So we raise them up by teaching them God's principles. But there is one passage, it's actually two different passages in the same book that say the same thing that really kind of outline for us or show us, depict for us the purpose of family as God intended it. So we can find this in Deuteronomy 6 or Deuteronomy 11. They say the same things. I just like the way Deuteronomy 11 is worded just a little bit better. So I'm going to read that to you now so we can see God's design for family. He's just taught them his law, told them how to live, basically giving them what their version of the Bible was, and this is what he says as a result of it. You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, listen, parents, I just taught you my law. I just shared with you my love and my truth. Now, I want you to put those all over your home. I want you to bind them on your hands. I want you to bind them on your forehead. I want you to write them on your walls. I want you to write them on your doorpost. And I want you to talk about them with your children when you're waking and before you sleep, as you come and you go, as you sit down for mealtimes, talk about my word with your children. And so what we see, and this is a profound thing, what we see is that God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his gospel. God has designed the family as the primary delivery system for his love and for his truth. Now, they wouldn't have called it the gospel in the Old Testament, but we call it the gospel. The gospel is the story of the good news of Jesus. It's God's love and God's truth. And we can see from Deuteronomy and from the way the family is structured in the Old Testament that it is God's design for the family, that it would be the primary delivery system of his love and his truth in the life of children as they grow up. That the purpose of family from a spiritual perspective is to create the safe space to incubate the faith of our children so that they can grow up knowing who their God is. And then there's a generational implication in this where we do it for our children and for their children and for the children's children. And there's a responsibility forever to turn around and teach the previous generation the faith that you inherited from your mother and father. That the divine design for families is that a mama and a daddy would impart their faith on their children. You can't overstate how important this is. That our children, listen, if you have kids in your house, listen, that our children would grow up looking at our faith and knowing that this is the faith that they can learn. This is the faith that they can mimic. This is the faith that they can follow. They ought to grow up in our home looking at a godly marriage and knowing this is what I want one day. What I want one day is the way my father loves my mother. What I want one day is the way my mom loves my dad. That's what I want one day. Our kids should grow up in homes and be able to say that. They should grow up in homes where they are discipled, where we parents take it as our responsibility to impart what we know about our faith onto our children. Can I tell you that now that I have two kids, you know what keeps me up at night theologically when I think through difficult questions or truths of scripture or realities of walking with God? Do you know who I'm thinking about when I'm trying to figure those things out for myself? Because it ain't you. It's not my church, it's my children. I want to impart a good faith onto them so that when they enter into adulthood, they have a firm foundation. That they encounter less hiccups than I did. That's our job, parents. Our job in the home is to create a safe space for our kids to grow up where they know that they are loved by their God and by their parents and that their God and their parents are proud of them. We create that incubator in the home so they grow up in this safe space and they have a good family and then they turn around and they do that to their kids. That's clearly the divine design of family in the Bible and it's clearly what our families are supposed to do for us is to be God's delivery system of his grace and truth and love in our lives. We should be able to look at the generations that came before us and see what it is to have a heart for God and walk in that. And grandparents, you're not off the hook, okay? You might be thinking, well, my kids are, that ship has sailed, my kids are grown, they're out, what happened happened, and now we have to live in that reality, and that may be true. But this commandment in Deuteronomy was given to a culture of people that lived intergenerationally. They lived as clans. They lived together. So this isn't just for parents and children. This is for grandparents and adult children and grandchildren. And those of you who have adult kids, can I just tell you something? I don't care how old they are. They'd be 41, like me. They'd be 31 or 21. We still need mamas and daddies, okay? We still need parents. We still need people that we can look at and ask questions to. We still need an older generation that we can be vulnerable with, that can have grace with us, that can watch some of the mistakes that we're about to make and say, hey, hey, brother, I love you. Don't do that. Older generations in this room, my generation, we still need mamas and daddies. You never get too old for that. And those of you who are older than me and you have parents who are still alive, you know you still need them too. And you know you still miss them. This responsibility never fades. It's our job to love on and demonstrate to the generations that come. And my generation, it's going to sound like I'm making jokes because I make jokes because I'm a dummy sometimes, but I'm not making jokes right now. We need to watch people age gracefully so that we know what it is to do that. We need to watch people care for their aging parents so we know how to do that with tenderness and grace when it's our turn. We need to watch how you interact with your adult children who don't make some of the choices you want them to make or who do. We need to see how that's done. We need to watch that. We need that in our lives. And so this family, as the delivery system for God's grace and goodness and truth and instruction in our life, that never fades. And we never graduate out of that need. And now some of you, as I say this, you have good families. You're like these couples that I get to marry sometimes. I do a fair amount of weddings every year, and one of my favorite things that I get to do on occasion within a wedding ceremony is when the couple will talk to me. I always talk to them in premarital counseling about their families, and what was it like growing up in your home? How are your mamas and your daddies and that kind of thing? And every now and again, I'll be working with a couple and they will say, we had great families. We had great parents growing up. I loved growing up in my home. We want our home to look like their home. They were wonderful and yada, yada, yada. And I'll say, well, do you want to honor them in the service? And they're like, yeah, that would be great. And so what I do is after the exchanging of rings, I always pray over the couple. And what we'll do sometimes is we'll surprise the parents and I'll invite them up in the ceremony and I'll have some words written about how they understand that they're standing on shoulders of their parents who gave them this great upbringing and they're so grateful for it and they want to do the same thing in their home. So they want to acknowledge their parents in the wedding ceremony as they create a new family and their parents come up and lay hands on them and I get to pray over all of them. And that's just a sweet moment to see that generational love and faith, to see parents who took this seriously and kids who realize that their parents did that for them. So some of us come from good families. And those of us that do, Jen and I come from great families. We should acknowledge that we were born on third base. We did not hit a triple. God gave us a good set of cards, and we should be grateful for that. So part of today is just encouraging us that we should praise God for our good families. If you come from a good family, if you have a mom and a daddy who took this seriously, who modeled God's love for you and who taught you their faith, will you text them today? Will you call them? Will you tell them that you're grateful for that? Will you acknowledge the goodness that you come from? Because as I talk about this, what a family should do, how God designed the family, how he purposed it, I know that there are plenty of people in this room who feel bad because they weren't that. Who feel angry because my family didn't do this for me. Yeah, that's what a family's supposed to do. That's what a dad's supposed to do. My dad, he walked out that door when I was eight, so I didn't get this, man. I didn't get that idyllic childhood. I'm not looking forward to Christmas. It's going to be tense. It's going to be difficult. Sometimes we have families that let us down. We come to church, and everything's good, and everything smiles, and everybody's buddy-buddy, and behind the scenes, the wife knows and the kids know, he is heck to deal with. The husband knows and the kids know, man, mom's not the same person when she's not at church. Well, we come from broken families. We come from abusive families. We come from addicted families. And we feel like spiritual orphans because we just don't have somebody pouring into us like God designed family to do. And others of us, we had a great family. And then there was the diagnosis. Or the accident. And then there was loss. And we don't have that family that we used to have. We don't have that person to look to like we need to. And so I think the real question becomes, yeah, this is what God designed family to do, to be the divine delivery system of his goodness and his grace and his truth and his love. But for many of us, our families have fallen short of that. So the question becomes, what do we do when our family hasn't done what it's supposed to do? What are we supposed to do when our family has left some gaps? My parents didn't teach me their faith. My dad left. My mom left. My childhood was not good. I love my dad. He taught me faith, but he's gone now, and I don't know who to ask. I love my mom. She taught me faith, but she's gone now, and I don't know who to talk to or who to go to, and I don't know how I'm going to navigate these adult years on my own. What do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? And our situation is less than idyllic. To that question, I began to think about the New Testament. We talked about what the Old Testament has to say about family. What does the New Testament have to say about family? What's the language around family after Jesus comes on the scene? Once Christmas arrives, how does that impact family? And when I thought about the New Testament, I can't think of anywhere in the New Testament that specifically addresses family and family behavior. There's stuff about children honoring parents. There's stuff about gender roles within a family, but there's not anything about family dynamics in the Bible where it's specifically addressed in the New Testament that I'm aware of. But I began to think through the times where family is mentioned in the New Testament. And do you know that most of the time that family is mentioned in the New Testament, it's mentioned as imagery for how the church ought to behave? It's mentioned to help us understand how we, the church, should behave towards each other and begin to understand one another. That most of the family language in the New Testament is not actually about physical family. It's imagery about our spiritual family. I'll show you what I'm talking about so that you know that I'm not making this up. On your notes, there's a list of references there. We're not going to put all of them up on the screen. I just want you to know that if you want to go back and open up your Bible and double check me on this, there you go. There's the footnotes. You can do that. But in Ephesians 2, Paul talks about, he introduces this idea of a spiritual family. He says that we're no longer aliens and sojourners. We're no longer spiritual orphans, but that we are now, we now have membership in this heavenly family. And so he introduces to us this idea of an additional family. And then in 1 Timothy, I like this passage, in 1 Timothy chapter 5, Paul is writing to his disciple Timothy, who he's sent off to Ephesus to be the pastor there, the church in Ephesus, where we see the book of Ephesians. Timothy was the pastor pastor there trained by Paul. And 1 and 2 Timothy are letters of advice to him as he leads this church. And in chapter 5 of the first letter, he says, when you have conflicts with people, let me tell you how I want you to handle it. If you need to confront a man who's older than you, confront him as a father. If you need to talk to a woman who's older than you, confront her as a mother. If you need to talk to a younger man, one of your peers, talk to him as a brother. A younger woman, talk to her as a sister. And so what it tells me as a pastor is that when I talk to you in meetings and conversation, on Sunday morning, when I preach, I preach to you as if I'm preaching to my own family. I treat you like I would my own family. And I do not think that that instruction, though it's not explicit in the text, I do not think that that instruction is limited to just pastors and elders, but all of God's children. That you would regard men who are older than you as fathers, women who are older than you as mothers, and then your peers as brothers and sisters. That we should treat each other as family. And I'm going to get to it in a minute as to why I think this. But I think that is such a profoundly good teaching that we should treat each other like that. Then in Matthew chapter 12, Jesus says this really interesting thing where he's preaching to some people and he's talking with a crowd and somebody kind of cuts through and says, hey, Jesus, your mother and your brothers are here to see you. And Jesus just says, my mother and my brothers are the ones who obey the will of God. Like they're family, this is family too. And then in Galatians, we see Paul again talk about this concept of family and how we've been adopted into God's family and we are heirs to the throne of God. And this is locked in for us most in Romans chapter 8. So I'm going to read this to you here. Romans chapter 8 verses 14 through 17 really tells us a lot about our spiritual family. Paul writes this, for all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. And that really should say sons and daughters of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but have received the spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by whom we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then heirs, we are Christians, and again, to be a Christian, you simply believe that Jesus is who he says he is, that he did what he said he did, and that he's going to do what he says he's going to do. If you believe those things, then the Bible teaches that God has given you the Spirit as a down payment on your salvation in heaven. And what Paul tells us is when we receive the Spirit, then we are adopted into God's family, that we are heirs to God and co-heirs with Christ. We are brothers and sisters, and Christ is our brother. And so as you think through what the New Testament has to say about family, and you try to answer that question, what do we do when my family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? I think we accept the reality from the New Testament that through the gift of Jesus, we also receive the gift of a new supplemental family. And I meant to change that word supplemental to spiritual. But through the gift of Jesus, through the arrival of Christ, once Jesus shows up in the gospels, the Bible starts to talk differently about family. It's God's way of acknowledging, just like he did the rest of the world, yes, I intended for each and every boy and girl who is born to grow up in a family with parents who love them, who teach them about God, who show them God's love, who model for them maturity in their faith, and who surround them with other people and kind of create this incubator, this safe space for kids to grow up where they know they're loved and they know that God is proud of them. Yeah, that's the design. But God also acknowledges that when sin enters the world, things start to break down and the family is not immune from that. And so what do we do when our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We take solace in the fact that we are given a new supplemental spiritual family. And this is probably my favorite thing about grace. It's how much grace feels like my family. It's how much when the power goes out, we don't care, we're going to keep singing. Can I just tell you, I wasn't one bit worried. I wasn't like, oh gosh, what are we going to do if the power went out? You know what we're going to do? We're going to cut the fourth song and I was going to come up here and yell at you. That's what we're going to do. And you know what you guys were going to do? You're going to be totally cool with it. Nobody would leave and be like, that place stinks. And if you did, okay. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it. There wasn't one ounce of stress because you guys are family. Because we love each other. Because we show up for each other. And I was thinking about this reality in just mine and Jen's life. Six years ago, we moved away from our families. And though we have great families, that move created a void for us. Lily and John, our kids, they have great grandparents, but they didn't get to see them as often as we'd like. And so you know what God and his goodness did? He put us in a church that has people that are a generation older than us who love us and who love our children and who we consider to be our Raleigh grandparents, who we can call and say, gosh, something came up. Will you come sit with the kids? And they love to do it. We were given, you know what I was given? I think about this a lot, and I don't think those of you who fit into this category, I don't think you know how grateful I am for you. I have a really good dad. But when I came to this church, I was given a bunch of spiritual fathers who are older than me, who have walked through seasons that I haven't, who pour into me, who love me, who advise me, who befriend me, and who encourage me. And it has become my spiritual family. Jen has women in the church who are a generation older than her, who love on her, who we can go to, who we can ask questions to, who have become our Raleigh mamas and daddies. We have brothers and sisters in this church, in our small group, who we walk through the same seasons of life together, and we can lean on each other, and we're not alone. And that spiritual family here doesn't for one second replace our genetic family. It doesn't for one second replace the families that we were born into, but it supplements those families. And sometimes, even in the loss that we've experienced, sometimes we can get such joy out of our church family that just for a second, we don't think about that as much. So I want you to know that in grace you have a faith family. You have brothers and sisters who want to watch out for you. You have mamas and daddies who want to pour into you. There are children in this church who need your love. There are children in this church who need your direction that you can get involved with and turn around and pour into the younger generations. But this church needs to, according to Scripture, operate as a supplemental family that fills in the gaps that are left behind by the families that we were born into. So what do we do if our family doesn't do what it's supposed to do? We allow the church to be the place that is the primary delivery system of God's love and of God's grace and of God's truth. We're not just the children, but everybody who's here knows that they are loved. They're loved by their brothers and sisters. They're cared for by their brothers and sisters. They are cared for by their spiritual moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas. And that we believe in them and in who God created them to be and in watching them grow up to become those people. And when I say grow up, I don't just mean 10-year-olds becoming 25-year-olds. I mean someone who is 50, but spiritually they're two, and we get to watch them grow into their faith. So first, know that grace is your family. That's what we are here for. Second, as a family, we want to share the love that we have with everybody who comes in here. We want people to feel like family as soon as they walk in the doors. One of my favorite movies at the holiday season is Family Stone. And it's not, I'm not going to get into the plot of it, but one of the underlying themes of that movie, and they don't address it directly, but I think one of the reasons I love it so much is that that family is set up and you can just tell that everybody who walks in that door is loved and everybody they bring home with them is loved too. And I want Grace to feel like that. That everybody who walks in those doors is loved and is part of our family as soon as they wanna be. And everybody that you invite, we're gonna love them too. No matter who they are, no matter where they've been, no matter what they've done, we're gonna love on them. But I know that some of us have families that have let us down. Some of us had families that don't feel the same. Let God's family of faith be your supplemental family that fills in the gaps. And then that way, we can love each other, encourage each other, and continue to push each other towards Christ. And then once we feel that sense of family here, let's look out and see who God is bringing in and love on them too. I'm going to continue to use grace, faith, family in my language moving forward. And this overview of family in the Bible is exactly why I'm going to do that. I'm going to pray and then we've got some instructions for you after the service. Father, we love you. We thank you for being our heavenly Father. God, we thank you for our good families. Those of us that have them, we're so grateful for them. We thank you for good moms and dads that aren't perfect but love you well and love us too. God, I pray for those walking into Christmas who are walking into stressful situations or hurtful situations. I just pray that you would be with them, that they would see you, that they would know that you were loved, that you would show up in those spaces. And God, I pray that grace can be a place that fills in the gaps for those who are a part of us that were left by the families that they were born into. Give us good, rich, deep relationships, God, that push us towards you and that help us grow and help us know that we're loved by those around us and by you. Let us be a faithful family of faith. In Jesus' name, amen.
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Good morning, Grace. While you guys are watching this video, I'll be on a plane to Ethiopia with some other people from Grace to support our team working in Addis Jamari over there. This morning, we have a special guest, Sarah Prince. She and her husband, Casey, have come over with Kieran and Keller, their children. They're based in Cape Town, South Africa. Years ago, Casey and Sarah were on staff here at Grace back in the old days, and then we had the privilege of sending them over there to be missionaries in South Africa, where they work with a football team called Ubuntu and are involved in their community in many other ways. So this morning, Sarah is going to come share with us a really important message from her heart, and I'm excited for all of us to get to hear from her. Good morning. Good morning, Grace Raleigh. It's so good to be here. It's so good to see your faces. Many of you I know, and it's such a privilege to be here again. We were a part of Grace when it was over there. There, there, there, there. Yep, that way. And for many years, we served at Grace. I was an associate pastor. My husband was a youth pastor. And then this church community sent us 14 years ago, almost 15, if you can believe it, out into South Africa to do ministry. I have a picture of our family, if you haven't seen them walking around. My daughter, Kieran, is in kids ministry now because she loves the kids. That's Keller. And that's my handsome husband, Casey. Behind us is the street where we live. And we will be going back there tomorrow. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. I'm so grateful to be here. And I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about all the other stuff that we do. But I did bring a few copies of my book. And I also have a few postcards. If you don't know us, I'm so excited to meet you. And we have some postcards and some... Can you help me put these out, Casey? He's already on his phone. Can you help me just set... Oh, he's taking notes. Okay. There's four points. That's all you have to know. But then can you just set those out? When you're done. Before, in the next 30 minutes. So we have some postcards and some info about our family if you don't know anything about us, but many of you do. And I just want to say, I was just chatting with someone outside and they were saying, I can't remember when you guys met and I can't believe this is happening. And you know, it's so crazy that you did this. And we always say the reason that we could risk what we do in South Africa is because we have this community to come back to. We've kind of like played, I don't know, poker, but like played all the cards or the chips or the things. And I'm a big gambler. So we gambled all the gambling stuff and we've just put it into South Africa. But we always know we have this community here that loves us, that supports us. And then we can always come home to. So we thank you for your love and support. But that's not what I want to talk about today. So I've been wrestling with something lately. This is the first time in a very long time that I have something that God is showing me, and then I'm like, okay, but God, where is that in Scripture? Usually I'm like really big into the Bible, and I'm like digging, and then that's the thing I want to focus on. But today with this topic, I've come to God curious. God, what is this thing that you've done in our world? Because in 14 years in South Africa, we have built a ministry called Ubuntu Football, where now we've sent 24 young men to America to study, one of who's here, hey-o. And we have a bunch of young men who are playing professionally, a bunch of young men who are studying in South Africa, a bunch of young men who are beginning their lives as incredible men. One of them is my son's soccer coach at his school. It's really beautiful. But as we've done all these other things, God has given us this very rich and vibrant community. This very unique group of people. Kind of different pockets of people that are very strange and very unique and very fun and very sacred. And so I've started to ask God, what is that? One story that highlights the weirdness of our community comes with a cake. So I have a cake here. Our son was diagnosed with autism how many years ago now? He is 12, so about 10 years ago. And we're in the community of South Africa as this happens, not even knowing what autism is about. That's what my book is about, Anguish to Awakening, our journey with Keller, my journey. And I have this group of friends. And I think we got a diagnosis. And maybe the next day, I was at the gym. And I ran into Kate. And she's like, oh, how are you? And I was like, I'm, you know, and I just cried at the gym and told her what happened, and we had this group of women friends, and so she sat with me, she prayed with me, and then maybe a week or two later, she said, we want to get together with you. Come over this night. I show up at her house, and this is the cake for me, and she said, we can do hard things together, and so we're celebrating that. We're at the beginning of a very hard thing, and we will do it together with you. And they had this like key chain thing with quotes and cards, and they just sat with me and cried with me. And I look back at that, think that is so unique to enter into a really difficult time and have people come and just say, we're here in the hard. We're not here for the highlights. We're not here for the good times. We're here now, today, in the hard. And it struck me as so unique. And we've had these kinds of times, these kinds of instances over and over again. And I need to admit that it's not because we're so great at friendship or that we're so great at bringing people around. I think it's a God-given gift. And I think there are some things that God has taught us along the way to help cultivate that community. That's the title today. I can't have a simple, I kept, community doesn't work, initiating community, it's not rich enough. So today's title is Cultivating Koinonia and Orating as Oracles. Because sometimes American or English words don't do it justice. And I want to talk about this. What does it mean to cultivate not just community, not just friends, koinonia, I'll explain that, and how do we operate as oracles? Because I think that's where something happens. You know, I grew up all over the country. I moved a lot. And so only when I became a young adult, I got married, like right after college, three weeks. Don't recommend it, young people. It's worked out, 22 years. But it was crazy. So I jumped into adulthood, went to seminary to become a pastor, and all of a sudden realized many things. Another sermon. But one of them was that I had no idea how to make friends. But I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was like, fine. I was just happy. I was just doing my thing. I was just bebopping around. And I started to realize I needed friends. And it was in this church that I learned the power of friendship and koinonia. We used to have a retreat. Anyone go to koinonia? Koinonia. Yeah. See? We had this retreat and I was dragged to it. Okay, fine. I'll go because I'm like a pastor or whatever. And it was this beautiful time of friendship and connection. And through this place, I learned the importance, the need of koinonia. But you know, a lot of people have never learned this. They've never been in environments where this is pushed, where this is elevated, where this is celebrated. There's lots of statistics on this, but three decades ago, there was a poll that said 3% of Americans had no close friends. 2021, 12% had no close friends. Into the pandemic, 13% of women, 8% of men had lost touch with most of their friends. This is something happening a lot more. Nowadays, some 8% will say they have no friends at all. This is something that's been talked about here. I didn't hear about this because we're in Africa, and in Africa things are done a bit differently. But there's actually a pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness. It's everywhere. And that's a word that just means you're disconnected. You don't have people. You're not anchored. You're not moored by others. And you're just kind of wandering. And it's actually celebrated here. It's just kind of how we do things here. And actually, this epidemic, the Surgeon General says that it affects one out of two adults. And it doesn't just help your mood. It's about your entire body, your entire health. It actually predicts the longevity of your life if you're lonely or if you have people around you. And so when the Surgeon General went around the states, some of the things that he heard were people would tell me all again and again. They felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. And they said, if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice. Now, if this doesn't feel a bit familiar, I'm glad you're here because I have a job for you. Some of us just have people around and we don't know how we did it or why it was given to us. For us, we were just super needy and having a child with autism was one of the big things. We just kind of were like, we're broken, help us. And people came around us, which is what I talk about in the book. But I think most people don't display their need in the way that our family did. We were very vocal about it. But if you feel like you have close community, if you don't know what loneliness feels like, then great. I have a job for you. Because many people feel very, very lonely. Many people feel very, very isolated. All over the world, people are saying that they want community. They want friendship. They want that in their world, but they don't know how to find it. All community is is a sense of belonging, support, shared purpose. And it's a place where the church should be leading. We've got this whole book that is people that did it. I mean, they fought a lot, and they killed each other some, and it was messy, but like they did it. This is the book about it, and yet we are doing it poorly at times. We have a friend who grew up, he grew up doing, his family was doing missions, their South African family, and he is South African, but has moved to New Zealand. He just recently flew from New Zealand to Amsterdam for what? Does anyone know who was in Amsterdam recently? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. He has a beautiful family. He's very connected. But people all over the globe have been traveling in the, I don't even know, the millions, the trillions, to see this woman sing songs. Now, I hear, I know every song because of my daughter. I know every word. I know every syllable. They're good. They're fine. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good. Did I say they were good? That is not why people are going to this concert. They are going because people have over and over and over said something like this. Entering the Erez tour was like stepping into an alternate universe where everyone was bursting with joy. I've never encountered such a warm, friendly, and kind crowd. People have called it transcendental. And it embodies love to people all over the world. It's not about the songs. It's this feeling thousands of people have when they're together. They're connected. They're a community. They're being seen and known. Now, I'm not asking any of you to be Taylor Swift, the next one, although my daughter might be. But I don't think we need a concert to create the sacred art of connection. It can happen anywhere. And God shows us how to do it. And it is a word that's more than community. It is that word koinonia in the New Testament. It's roughly translated fellowship, but it means to share together, to take part. And the same idea is found in another Greek word. That's metakos. And it means to have with or to have together. Now, I'm using sacred New Testament words to describe what those people are saying about Taylor Swift. And what I know God is desperate for people to describe about us. And again, if you don't know the feeling of loneliness, then it is your time. If you do, then I'm here to give you hope. Because it is possible among every single one of us. Being here in South Africa has highlighted to me not how special we are as a family to do what we do, but how God is really great because this group of idiots is running this incredible organization in South Africa because it's God's mission, it's God's dream, it's God's plan, and even we can't stop it with all of our fumbles and our foils and our missteps. When God has a plan, he will use the best of us and the worst of us. His plan is to be together. So I have four, I don't have a pamphlet, I'm from Africa. I don't have a pamphlet, but I do have four very simple points. If you're saying, I don't have that. I have people around, but I don't have a deep connection. Or if you're saying, I have it. This is for you. Because it's time to step into something sacred, something real. And none of my examples, I'm going to tell some stories, not a single one is a Bible study. I have the best Bible study. I want to start there. I have the best Bible study. There are these women, and my sister was just in South Africa, and she was with them. There are these beautiful women that I've known for years and years, and we get together, and we cry, and we laugh, and we pray, and we scream out to God, and it is holy. None of these examples are going to be a church or a Bible study because I want to inspire you to dream of where the church could go beyond this. This is holy, but that world needs this sacred thing. So I want you to dream. Okay, so step one. Step one of creating, cultivating koinonia. We'll end with orating as oracles, but cultivating koinonia. And actually cultivating is step three. So you're not ready for the first letter of this sermon. You ready? Step one, introspection. This sounds so simple, but it is so profound. We went to South Africa to help everyone and to save everyone and to do all the great things for Jesus. And then a few years in, we had a son who was diagnosed with autism. And we were like, no, God, not the plan. We're doing some other stuff. We have a lot to do. We have a big plan. We have a big mission. We're going to serve for Jesus. This has happened time and time again to me. It even happened recently where we have a plan and then God says, no, this is a plan. But we were in desperate need. We didn't even know what autism meant. We had to Google it as we started our journey. But this is the first step of community. It isn't creating a Bible study. It isn't finding people to play pickleball with. The first step is introspection. The first step is what is my need? What is happening in here? Number one, introspection. This came through hardship for us. But as we've walked through that hardship, we've had to be really honest. What is it that we need in a community? Who do we need around us? What does it mean to raise kids and to do this life with people in our world? What does that look like? And we've had to be very introspective. This is something people are talking about, not just Taylor Swift people, but all over the world. I recently heard an interview with this woman, Priya Parker. She wrote this book called The Art of Gathering. So I would have thought, I would never picked up this book. I would have thought it's been about like dinner parties, which I love, or like how to host something cute or how to find the Pinterest board. But for her, The Art of Gathering starts with assessing your needs. Because you cannot create a gathering of people where you are authentically a part if you don't know what it is you need in that group. Creating community begins with your own needs. What is my need here? How am I actually feeling? What do I need from other people? That sounds selfish, sounds maybe anti-Christian, but it's true because if I'm going to authentically show up, that means my needs are going to show up. My desires are going to show up. My dreams are going to show up. My brokenness is going to show up. So I need to show up first with my true self, not who I think I should be, not who I want to be, not how I want to save the world. Again, read Sarah and Casey's whole story. Me, just me. And so that starts with being honest. And as I've wrestled with this idea and asked God, where is this in scripture? I've gone to the early church, but I want to start with what I believe maybe the early church was praying. So in Acts, you see the early church and they are wrestling. There are these, talk about misfits. They were running around with Jesus, getting it all wrong, being on the top, being on the bottom, just being a mess. I love them. And then Jesus got killed on the cross. They all went in hiding. They were scared. They were confused. They were doubting. They were a mess. And then he comes back. He rises and boom, everything changes. What's fun about studying the Bible, this part of the Bible, is there is no proof that he rose. You have an empty grave. You have someone who people said they saw, and then he was gone. But here's the proof. Is this group of people something happened in? I love what Kyle was sharing about what is going to happen now with the youth. We don't need to know what happened at Infuge, although I was ready for like a video of like, Infuge, it was so cool, and here's the water slide, and here's when they raised their hands. I was ready for a video. We don't need a video of what happened in Infuge. We need young people who are radically different and on fire for Jesus. That's all the proof we need. We don't need to see the pictures. We don't need to, the dirty clothes, I'm sure, were also proof when you parents washed them. The proof is in the people, and I believe we'll see that. The princes will be praying for the revival here for the young people. And I pray that you adults will come along with them. That's the proof that something happened. So this early church, something happened. Something happened. And they were radically different. And they're walking around just being wild for Jesus Christ. But I wondered, were they introspective? Because you don't really see it. You kind of just see them like, boom, out there, you know, changing the world. What they would have been doing is reading the Old Testament scriptures. I love that. They would have been wrestling and thinking and praying and talking and saying, God, what is my part in building this new world? And so that would have started with introspection. And so we have a simple scripture that you've heard a million times, but I'm going to highlight a couple light. It says here, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. The first step for revival is introspection. And the two words to focus on here are search. And it was a word that was used if miners were searching for gold or if Israelites were searching for new territory. They were searching like their life depended on it. Like not a little devotion in the morning, not 101.5 Christian music as they came through on a Sunday morning, not that kind of searching. I mean, searching like your life depends on it. If you don't show up, I have nothing else. That kind of searching is what the first church was doing. And then they were saying, test me. Test me. What needs to be let go? What needs to come out? What needs to rise? What is my place? What is my message? What is my calling? They were saying, test me, show me, reveal in me anything that is going to keep me from you. And then reveal in me how you want to use me. Test me. Do heart surgery on me as you take me out into this mission. You better believe that that early church was on their knees looking at those Old Testament scriptures, begging God, because the Psalms are the Psalms of that. that's the prayers. That's the way they really prayed. Begging God, search me, test me, and lead me to where you have me. So the first step is very simple. Search me and test me. I have a really great quote about this and what we need to do. There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace and ultimately no life without community. If the revival stays in here, it will die with me. It might go my whole life. But if revival stays here, then it's not done its job. It's not for you. It's not for me. It's for everyone else. But it takes vulnerability. And it takes risk. And so we start there, which is hard, but important. Step two, take initiative. This is a step also. I'm not talking about church, but I love church. Keep going to small group. Keep going to Bible study. Keep going to youth. But start going out into this world. Because this world has an epidemic of loneliness. This world is on fire. This world is in pain. This world is in need. And there are tons of places for you to go into this world and bring the love of God and create a place of belonging. This year, as I wrote my book, I finished my book last year, I was just praying, God, how can I be your hands and feet? How can I go out? What do I have to give? What have I learned that I could share? And at the end of last year, I started at Keller School, this support group of just parents who had kids with special needs or extra needs. And I just said, come once a month, just come and show up. It wasn't Christian. It was just come. We've had it now for almost a year. Every single time people risk, they're vulnerable, they cry out in need every single time. And every single time people risk they're vulnerable they cry out in need every single time and every single time someone shares faith someone shares hope in a real spiritual way because they're sharing what where they are and we're together meeting that need all of us have something to offer someplace Some place we can step out. Some place where we can open up a hand, open up a place where someone can feel not alone. And it takes us going out. And again, the early church did this. Religion was there. The buildings were there. And the early church went out. And you've read this before, but I'm going to highlight one very simple thing. So Acts 2, 41 through 47. You've heard this before so many times. Those who accepted Jesus' message were baptized, and about 3,000 were added to the number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. And it continues. I'm scared I have a different version. I'll keep going. 47 is all we have. I'll keep going. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. I love the early church. And I mean, in COVID, I found myself just, when we couldn't meet, just like, okay, well, what did that look like when they first started gathering? And what they did was they just went. They would gather and they would pray and then they would go and they would gather and they would eat and they would go and they would gather and they would sing and they would go. They were just going and going and going. And as they were going, there were numbers added daily, weekly, monthly, because they were going. I think God is calling us to go. We all have something in our hand. We all have something we've learned. We all have something we care about. Let's go into the world. It could be as simple as my husband this year, he started doing paddle. You don't do that here. It's like squash and tennis together. And we have this cool paddle place near our house. And he's decided I'm going to be a paddle person. This is a place where Casey is bringing the love of Christ, the light of Christ. He's creating community in this place. But it calls us to go and to create something new. A quote here is by a guy named Bell Hooks. One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. I hope you come here and you know that you're not alone, but just know that there are a lot of people that might need to come somewhere else to know they're not alone before they can come here to know that they're not alone. And so God is asking us to go and to create that. Step three, cultivate. Here we go. So now we've been introspective. We know what's in our hand. We know we're going to go out. Now we begin to cultivate koinonia. So this is where we nurture connections. We have places of connection and we nurture, we care for each other, we ask how are you doing, how are you really doing, what do you really need? We really reach out to the people around us, to the people in our community. Through our story with Keller we saw this time and time and time again where people would go out of their way and come into our life in radical ways to love us, to serve us, to care for us. And again, it wasn't because we were deserving of that. It was just what people felt on their heart from God to do. Sometimes I didn't even remember that it happened. People would tell me later as I was writing my book that they came and they served us and they loved us. And this is what was happening in Acts also. As they're continuing to go out, God was beginning to cultivate something really special. Let's look at Acts 4 now. It's continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, bought the money from the sales, and put it to the apostles' feet and was distributed to those who had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas, would be son of encouragement, I'm going to talk about him later, sold a field he owned and bought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. I love this because it is action. It is the church going out. It is the church that starts in here going out in radical ways, in ways no one expected, in ways they weren't being asked to do, and just saying, what can we do? Who can we bring in? Who can we serve? How can we do this differently? That is what church is, and that is cultivating a koinonia that is different and deeper than I think people are used to seeing for the church. I have another verse that I think really highlights this, and this is in Ephesians 4. So this is when Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus, and he's trying to effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. For one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. This is the God that we are seeking, and this is the places we are invited to cultivate. And over and over again in our world, we saw people come into our lives and just cultivate this oneness, cultivate this spirituality, just to say, we are with you. We are walking with you. We believe in you. We are coming alongside. They built church all over our world outside of church. Just one little way that this happened was on Keller's first day of school. So we'd walk a long journey with Keller and we get to his first day of school. I was terrified. I think he was okay, but I was terrified. And I reached out to our good friends who had kids at the school and said, Keller's starting school. Can you just meet us at the gate? And can we just all walk in together? And so his brother and sister, not from us, and his sister all met him there. And we walked into his school together. And it was a sacred moment of koinonia, of shared space, where we knew we were not alone, where Keller knew he was not alone. And he continued then building that throughout his life there. We need action to build koinonia. We need action to go into the world and build what God is asking us to build. I'm going to end this part and then finish with step four with this quote. Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and to know the other. We have to enter in and create sacred places everywhere we are. From a very needy family, I can tell you it's life-changing to know that everywhere you step, when you feel alone, when you feel scared, when you feel uncertain, when people show up as the church around you in a terrifying world, it buoys you with a hope that God is with you. I want to finish with just a fourth question. And that is, who isn't here yet? Who isn't here yet? I used to have dreams before I became a pastor of what the church could look like, more than just the church I had experienced, more than just the people I knew. I wanted diversity, and I wanted different religions, and I wanted people who saw the world differently. I've always been just kind of drawn to that. I've always been drawn to just go as far as I could go and see if something sacred is there. And again, I find that in the New Testament. You know, we know now Paul wrote 14 of the books of the New Testament. When he first came on the scene, everyone knew who he was because he was the one who was persecuting Christians. He was the one speaking out against Christians. He was the one who was the dangerous guy. And even though we have this new religion, we're not too sure about this Paul guy. But there was one person who gave him a chance, and that was Barnabas. In the early church, Barnabas gave Paul a chance and created space for Paul to come in. I want to look at this scripture in Acts 9. It's saying Saul here, Acts 9, starting at the end of 17, at the end of 19, sorry. Saul spent several days with his disciples in Damascus. That's Paul. And once he began to preach in synagogues that Jesus is the son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and asked, isn't that that crazy guy who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call his name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? Yet Saul grew more and more powerful in baffling the Jews, the religious in Damascus, by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. After many days he had gone by, there was a conspiracy against the Jews to kill him. But Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watching the city gates in order to kill him. So it wasn't just a weird guy. It was someone they thought was dangerous to their faith. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. Good friends. When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. This person who had to be given a place at the table because religion didn't accept him, didn't understand him, but he had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This person was given a space by Barnabas and went to the farthest places, the craziest spaces in all of the world to tell people about Jesus Christ. And I want us to ask, as we dream about Koinonia, who is not here yet? Who is not here yet? I love being here and seeing so many familiar faces, but God has churned in my heart this question over and over again, especially being in South Africa. Who is not at the table yet? Who is not in the doors yet? Who has not heard of Jesus yet? That is where we really begin to cultivate koinonia and the second part, where we begin to operate as oracles. And it's simply in this verse of Peter 4.11. This is my last verse. And it says in Peter 4 11, if anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ to him be the glory and the power forever and ever. In other versions, it says that, as they, it says they should speak. It speaks of being an oracle. So if Jesus was the word, he then asked us to be the words of God. That's what an oracle means. That we would live as the words of God. And I want to encourage you that the way that we do this is go into places, exist in places where God isn't as clear yet, where God isn't always present in the way we're used to seeing him. As I said, I always prayed about this idea of being around people of other faiths, of other nations, of other backgrounds. And through Keller, who this book is about, he has brought us these friends who are the weirdest people you have ever met. And they are every religion. We say that we're a big joke because it's me, I'm a pastor, and they call me Pastor Prince, and then there's a Wiccan, and there's a Jew, and there is a Buddhist, and there's an agnostic, and there's just our friend Lisa. And so we are like this tribe. And we have a WhatsApp group, and it's called Pastor Prince's Free Range Women. And we are this weird tribe of people. And within this tribe, something holy happens. learned years ago this this idea called holy envy that you go to other people not to tell them what's right and they're wrong not to just change them but you just talk you just open up and you see where something holy is within them something sacred is within them and so now with this group of women, we have had many, many, many holy places. Even in just this past year, the agnostic couple, I married them in December and they were very happy for me to talk about Jesus as I was there officiant. My Jewish friend Emma, her mom died also in December. She asked me to spread the ashes and do a ceremony for her. And my Wiccan friend, her mom has Alzheimer's and she's slowly leaving this earth. And she has asked me to pastor her mom and to pastor her and to do the sermon and the service when her mom passes. And they asked me to tell their kids about Jesus because there's something about that Jesus and there's something about you guys and there's something here. And I ask about Buddhism. And I ask about the Wiccan faith. And I ask about the Jewish faith. But I know that within me is an oracle. And coming from me is an oracle. Not because I'm special. But because God is within me. And the scripture says we have the hope of glory within us. So we can go anywhere. We don't have to fear that our light will be diluted. We don't have to fear that our God will be tamed. We don't have to wonder if he will fully reign because he will forever and ever reign through Jesus Christ our Lord. But we are invited to go into the world as oracles and bring that light to all the places that are needed, and that's everywhere. God is saying go into the schools as oracles. Go into your workplace as oracles. Go into your home and your family as oracles. Be a light from within with what God has done within your heart. Nothing can diminish that. That's what I love again about the early church, and I'll finish here. The early church went into all these places, and they kept saying, you're wrong. We're going to kill you. That can't be. This Jesus can't be. And they said it again and again, all I can say is this Jesus who I've met is my king, and he's my Lord. And nothing could diminish that. One of my heroes in life is Desmond Tutu, and he says this, that we must be ready to learn from one another, not pretending that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God. Because here's what I'm learning. God is bigger and he's greater and he's more profound than what we think. And we have a broken world that's in desperate need of this God and this light and this community. But we need to dream differently and we need to see differently. We need to go differently. We need to cultivate koinonia and we need to operate as oracles. So I want to end here. What do you dream? Coming to America, people are always asking us like, what do you think? And what's your perspective? And what do you think's going on? I don't want to look at what I see. I want to look at what God still needs and what God still wants to do and what God wants to create. And again, that's what Kyle did this morning in just a few moments. We could have left after that. God is ready for us to dream about places of koinonia and us operating as oracles in a world that is in desperate need of his light and his love. So I want to invite us to dream what that could look like and see that revival that Kyle's talking about in all the places that need it most. Let's pray. God, I thank you that you are a great God, that you are not limited to our words or our songs or our prayers or how we've seen you before. God, you are greater. And I pray, God, that you would move within us to help us to dream of a new community, of new closeness, of a new connection, of new light, of new love. And help us to be your oracles. Help us to be as the early church who was pushing farther and farther to tell people of the love of you, Jesus Christ. May we not hold back in what we know you can do and how we know we can shine your light all over the world. We love you, God. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
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Good morning, Grace. While you guys are watching this video, I'll be on a plane to Ethiopia with some other people from Grace to support our team working in Addis Jamari over there. This morning, we have a special guest, Sarah Prince. She and her husband, Casey, have come over with Kieran and Keller, their children. They're based in Cape Town, South Africa. Years ago, Casey and Sarah were on staff here at Grace back in the old days, and then we had the privilege of sending them over there to be missionaries in South Africa, where they work with a football team called Ubuntu and are involved in their community in many other ways. So this morning, Sarah is going to come share with us a really important message from her heart, and I'm excited for all of us to get to hear from her. Good morning. Good morning, Grace Raleigh. It's so good to be here. It's so good to see your faces. Many of you I know, and it's such a privilege to be here again. We were a part of Grace when it was over there. There, there, there, there. Yep, that way. And for many years, we served at Grace. I was an associate pastor. My husband was a youth pastor. And then this church community sent us 14 years ago, almost 15, if you can believe it, out into South Africa to do ministry. I have a picture of our family, if you haven't seen them walking around. My daughter, Kieran, is in kids ministry now because she loves the kids. That's Keller. And that's my handsome husband, Casey. Behind us is the street where we live. And we will be going back there tomorrow. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. I'm so grateful to be here. And I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about all the other stuff that we do. But I did bring a few copies of my book. And I also have a few postcards. If you don't know us, I'm so excited to meet you. And we have some postcards and some... Can you help me put these out, Casey? He's already on his phone. Can you help me just set... Oh, he's taking notes. Okay. There's four points. That's all you have to know. But then can you just set those out? When you're done. Before, in the next 30 minutes. So we have some postcards and some info about our family if you don't know anything about us, but many of you do. And I just want to say, I was just chatting with someone outside and they were saying, I can't remember when you guys met and I can't believe this is happening. And you know, it's so crazy that you did this. And we always say the reason that we could risk what we do in South Africa is because we have this community to come back to. We've kind of like played, I don't know, poker, but like played all the cards or the chips or the things. And I'm a big gambler. So we gambled all the gambling stuff and we've just put it into South Africa. But we always know we have this community here that loves us, that supports us. And then we can always come home to. So we thank you for your love and support. But that's not what I want to talk about today. So I've been wrestling with something lately. This is the first time in a very long time that I have something that God is showing me, and then I'm like, okay, but God, where is that in Scripture? Usually I'm like really big into the Bible, and I'm like digging, and then that's the thing I want to focus on. But today with this topic, I've come to God curious. God, what is this thing that you've done in our world? Because in 14 years in South Africa, we have built a ministry called Ubuntu Football, where now we've sent 24 young men to America to study, one of who's here, hey-o. And we have a bunch of young men who are playing professionally, a bunch of young men who are studying in South Africa, a bunch of young men who are beginning their lives as incredible men. One of them is my son's soccer coach at his school. It's really beautiful. But as we've done all these other things, God has given us this very rich and vibrant community. This very unique group of people. Kind of different pockets of people that are very strange and very unique and very fun and very sacred. And so I've started to ask God, what is that? One story that highlights the weirdness of our community comes with a cake. So I have a cake here. Our son was diagnosed with autism how many years ago now? He is 12, so about 10 years ago. And we're in the community of South Africa as this happens, not even knowing what autism is about. That's what my book is about, Anguish to Awakening, our journey with Keller, my journey. And I have this group of friends. And I think we got a diagnosis. And maybe the next day, I was at the gym. And I ran into Kate. And she's like, oh, how are you? And I was like, I'm, you know, and I just cried at the gym and told her what happened, and we had this group of women friends, and so she sat with me, she prayed with me, and then maybe a week or two later, she said, we want to get together with you. Come over this night. I show up at her house, and this is the cake for me, and she said, we can do hard things together, and so we're celebrating that. We're at the beginning of a very hard thing, and we will do it together with you. And they had this like key chain thing with quotes and cards, and they just sat with me and cried with me. And I look back at that, think that is so unique to enter into a really difficult time and have people come and just say, we're here in the hard. We're not here for the highlights. We're not here for the good times. We're here now, today, in the hard. And it struck me as so unique. And we've had these kinds of times, these kinds of instances over and over again. And I need to admit that it's not because we're so great at friendship or that we're so great at bringing people around. I think it's a God-given gift. And I think there are some things that God has taught us along the way to help cultivate that community. That's the title today. I can't have a simple, I kept, community doesn't work, initiating community, it's not rich enough. So today's title is Cultivating Koinonia and Orating as Oracles. Because sometimes American or English words don't do it justice. And I want to talk about this. What does it mean to cultivate not just community, not just friends, koinonia, I'll explain that, and how do we operate as oracles? Because I think that's where something happens. You know, I grew up all over the country. I moved a lot. And so only when I became a young adult, I got married, like right after college, three weeks. Don't recommend it, young people. It's worked out, 22 years. But it was crazy. So I jumped into adulthood, went to seminary to become a pastor, and all of a sudden realized many things. Another sermon. But one of them was that I had no idea how to make friends. But I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was like, fine. I was just happy. I was just doing my thing. I was just bebopping around. And I started to realize I needed friends. And it was in this church that I learned the power of friendship and koinonia. We used to have a retreat. Anyone go to koinonia? Koinonia. Yeah. See? We had this retreat and I was dragged to it. Okay, fine. I'll go because I'm like a pastor or whatever. And it was this beautiful time of friendship and connection. And through this place, I learned the importance, the need of koinonia. But you know, a lot of people have never learned this. They've never been in environments where this is pushed, where this is elevated, where this is celebrated. There's lots of statistics on this, but three decades ago, there was a poll that said 3% of Americans had no close friends. 2021, 12% had no close friends. Into the pandemic, 13% of women, 8% of men had lost touch with most of their friends. This is something happening a lot more. Nowadays, some 8% will say they have no friends at all. This is something that's been talked about here. I didn't hear about this because we're in Africa, and in Africa things are done a bit differently. But there's actually a pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness. It's everywhere. And that's a word that just means you're disconnected. You don't have people. You're not anchored. You're not moored by others. And you're just kind of wandering. And it's actually celebrated here. It's just kind of how we do things here. And actually, this epidemic, the Surgeon General says that it affects one out of two adults. And it doesn't just help your mood. It's about your entire body, your entire health. It actually predicts the longevity of your life if you're lonely or if you have people around you. And so when the Surgeon General went around the states, some of the things that he heard were people would tell me all again and again. They felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. And they said, if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice. Now, if this doesn't feel a bit familiar, I'm glad you're here because I have a job for you. Some of us just have people around and we don't know how we did it or why it was given to us. For us, we were just super needy and having a child with autism was one of the big things. We just kind of were like, we're broken, help us. And people came around us, which is what I talk about in the book. But I think most people don't display their need in the way that our family did. We were very vocal about it. But if you feel like you have close community, if you don't know what loneliness feels like, then great. I have a job for you. Because many people feel very, very lonely. Many people feel very, very isolated. All over the world, people are saying that they want community. They want friendship. They want that in their world, but they don't know how to find it. All community is is a sense of belonging, support, shared purpose. And it's a place where the church should be leading. We've got this whole book that is people that did it. I mean, they fought a lot, and they killed each other some, and it was messy, but like they did it. This is the book about it, and yet we are doing it poorly at times. We have a friend who grew up, he grew up doing, his family was doing missions, their South African family, and he is South African, but has moved to New Zealand. He just recently flew from New Zealand to Amsterdam for what? Does anyone know who was in Amsterdam recently? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. He has a beautiful family. He's very connected. But people all over the globe have been traveling in the, I don't even know, the millions, the trillions, to see this woman sing songs. Now, I hear, I know every song because of my daughter. I know every word. I know every syllable. They're good. They're fine. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good. Did I say they were good? That is not why people are going to this concert. They are going because people have over and over and over said something like this. Entering the Erez tour was like stepping into an alternate universe where everyone was bursting with joy. I've never encountered such a warm, friendly, and kind crowd. People have called it transcendental. And it embodies love to people all over the world. It's not about the songs. It's this feeling thousands of people have when they're together. They're connected. They're a community. They're being seen and known. Now, I'm not asking any of you to be Taylor Swift, the next one, although my daughter might be. But I don't think we need a concert to create the sacred art of connection. It can happen anywhere. And God shows us how to do it. And it is a word that's more than community. It is that word koinonia in the New Testament. It's roughly translated fellowship, but it means to share together, to take part. And the same idea is found in another Greek word. That's metakos. And it means to have with or to have together. Now, I'm using sacred New Testament words to describe what those people are saying about Taylor Swift. And what I know God is desperate for people to describe about us. And again, if you don't know the feeling of loneliness, then it is your time. If you do, then I'm here to give you hope. Because it is possible among every single one of us. Being here in South Africa has highlighted to me not how special we are as a family to do what we do, but how God is really great because this group of idiots is running this incredible organization in South Africa because it's God's mission, it's God's dream, it's God's plan, and even we can't stop it with all of our fumbles and our foils and our missteps. When God has a plan, he will use the best of us and the worst of us. His plan is to be together. So I have four, I don't have a pamphlet, I'm from Africa. I don't have a pamphlet, but I do have four very simple points. If you're saying, I don't have that. I have people around, but I don't have a deep connection. Or if you're saying, I have it. This is for you. Because it's time to step into something sacred, something real. And none of my examples, I'm going to tell some stories, not a single one is a Bible study. I have the best Bible study. I want to start there. I have the best Bible study. There are these women, and my sister was just in South Africa, and she was with them. There are these beautiful women that I've known for years and years, and we get together, and we cry, and we laugh, and we pray, and we scream out to God, and it is holy. None of these examples are going to be a church or a Bible study because I want to inspire you to dream of where the church could go beyond this. This is holy, but that world needs this sacred thing. So I want you to dream. Okay, so step one. Step one of creating, cultivating koinonia. We'll end with orating as oracles, but cultivating koinonia. And actually cultivating is step three. So you're not ready for the first letter of this sermon. You ready? Step one, introspection. This sounds so simple, but it is so profound. We went to South Africa to help everyone and to save everyone and to do all the great things for Jesus. And then a few years in, we had a son who was diagnosed with autism. And we were like, no, God, not the plan. We're doing some other stuff. We have a lot to do. We have a big plan. We have a big mission. We're going to serve for Jesus. This has happened time and time again to me. It even happened recently where we have a plan and then God says, no, this is a plan. But we were in desperate need. We didn't even know what autism meant. We had to Google it as we started our journey. But this is the first step of community. It isn't creating a Bible study. It isn't finding people to play pickleball with. The first step is introspection. The first step is what is my need? What is happening in here? Number one, introspection. This came through hardship for us. But as we've walked through that hardship, we've had to be really honest. What is it that we need in a community? Who do we need around us? What does it mean to raise kids and to do this life with people in our world? What does that look like? And we've had to be very introspective. This is something people are talking about, not just Taylor Swift people, but all over the world. I recently heard an interview with this woman, Priya Parker. She wrote this book called The Art of Gathering. So I would have thought, I would never picked up this book. I would have thought it's been about like dinner parties, which I love, or like how to host something cute or how to find the Pinterest board. But for her, The Art of Gathering starts with assessing your needs. Because you cannot create a gathering of people where you are authentically a part if you don't know what it is you need in that group. Creating community begins with your own needs. What is my need here? How am I actually feeling? What do I need from other people? That sounds selfish, sounds maybe anti-Christian, but it's true because if I'm going to authentically show up, that means my needs are going to show up. My desires are going to show up. My dreams are going to show up. My brokenness is going to show up. So I need to show up first with my true self, not who I think I should be, not who I want to be, not how I want to save the world. Again, read Sarah and Casey's whole story. Me, just me. And so that starts with being honest. And as I've wrestled with this idea and asked God, where is this in scripture? I've gone to the early church, but I want to start with what I believe maybe the early church was praying. So in Acts, you see the early church and they are wrestling. There are these, talk about misfits. They were running around with Jesus, getting it all wrong, being on the top, being on the bottom, just being a mess. I love them. And then Jesus got killed on the cross. They all went in hiding. They were scared. They were confused. They were doubting. They were a mess. And then he comes back. He rises and boom, everything changes. What's fun about studying the Bible, this part of the Bible, is there is no proof that he rose. You have an empty grave. You have someone who people said they saw, and then he was gone. But here's the proof. Is this group of people something happened in? I love what Kyle was sharing about what is going to happen now with the youth. We don't need to know what happened at Infuge, although I was ready for like a video of like, Infuge, it was so cool, and here's the water slide, and here's when they raised their hands. I was ready for a video. We don't need a video of what happened in Infuge. We need young people who are radically different and on fire for Jesus. That's all the proof we need. We don't need to see the pictures. We don't need to, the dirty clothes, I'm sure, were also proof when you parents washed them. The proof is in the people, and I believe we'll see that. The princes will be praying for the revival here for the young people. And I pray that you adults will come along with them. That's the proof that something happened. So this early church, something happened. Something happened. And they were radically different. And they're walking around just being wild for Jesus Christ. But I wondered, were they introspective? Because you don't really see it. You kind of just see them like, boom, out there, you know, changing the world. What they would have been doing is reading the Old Testament scriptures. I love that. They would have been wrestling and thinking and praying and talking and saying, God, what is my part in building this new world? And so that would have started with introspection. And so we have a simple scripture that you've heard a million times, but I'm going to highlight a couple light. It says here, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. The first step for revival is introspection. And the two words to focus on here are search. And it was a word that was used if miners were searching for gold or if Israelites were searching for new territory. They were searching like their life depended on it. Like not a little devotion in the morning, not 101.5 Christian music as they came through on a Sunday morning, not that kind of searching. I mean, searching like your life depends on it. If you don't show up, I have nothing else. That kind of searching is what the first church was doing. And then they were saying, test me. Test me. What needs to be let go? What needs to come out? What needs to rise? What is my place? What is my message? What is my calling? They were saying, test me, show me, reveal in me anything that is going to keep me from you. And then reveal in me how you want to use me. Test me. Do heart surgery on me as you take me out into this mission. You better believe that that early church was on their knees looking at those Old Testament scriptures, begging God, because the Psalms are the Psalms of that. that's the prayers. That's the way they really prayed. Begging God, search me, test me, and lead me to where you have me. So the first step is very simple. Search me and test me. I have a really great quote about this and what we need to do. There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace and ultimately no life without community. If the revival stays in here, it will die with me. It might go my whole life. But if revival stays here, then it's not done its job. It's not for you. It's not for me. It's for everyone else. But it takes vulnerability. And it takes risk. And so we start there, which is hard, but important. Step two, take initiative. This is a step also. I'm not talking about church, but I love church. Keep going to small group. Keep going to Bible study. Keep going to youth. But start going out into this world. Because this world has an epidemic of loneliness. This world is on fire. This world is in pain. This world is in need. And there are tons of places for you to go into this world and bring the love of God and create a place of belonging. This year, as I wrote my book, I finished my book last year, I was just praying, God, how can I be your hands and feet? How can I go out? What do I have to give? What have I learned that I could share? And at the end of last year, I started at Keller School, this support group of just parents who had kids with special needs or extra needs. And I just said, come once a month, just come and show up. It wasn't Christian. It was just come. We've had it now for almost a year. Every single time people risk, they're vulnerable, they cry out in need every single time. And every single time people risk they're vulnerable they cry out in need every single time and every single time someone shares faith someone shares hope in a real spiritual way because they're sharing what where they are and we're together meeting that need all of us have something to offer someplace Some place we can step out. Some place where we can open up a hand, open up a place where someone can feel not alone. And it takes us going out. And again, the early church did this. Religion was there. The buildings were there. And the early church went out. And you've read this before, but I'm going to highlight one very simple thing. So Acts 2, 41 through 47. You've heard this before so many times. Those who accepted Jesus' message were baptized, and about 3,000 were added to the number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. And it continues. I'm scared I have a different version. I'll keep going. 47 is all we have. I'll keep going. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. I love the early church. And I mean, in COVID, I found myself just, when we couldn't meet, just like, okay, well, what did that look like when they first started gathering? And what they did was they just went. They would gather and they would pray and then they would go and they would gather and they would eat and they would go and they would gather and they would sing and they would go. They were just going and going and going. And as they were going, there were numbers added daily, weekly, monthly, because they were going. I think God is calling us to go. We all have something in our hand. We all have something we've learned. We all have something we care about. Let's go into the world. It could be as simple as my husband this year, he started doing paddle. You don't do that here. It's like squash and tennis together. And we have this cool paddle place near our house. And he's decided I'm going to be a paddle person. This is a place where Casey is bringing the love of Christ, the light of Christ. He's creating community in this place. But it calls us to go and to create something new. A quote here is by a guy named Bell Hooks. One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. I hope you come here and you know that you're not alone, but just know that there are a lot of people that might need to come somewhere else to know they're not alone before they can come here to know that they're not alone. And so God is asking us to go and to create that. Step three, cultivate. Here we go. So now we've been introspective. We know what's in our hand. We know we're going to go out. Now we begin to cultivate koinonia. So this is where we nurture connections. We have places of connection and we nurture, we care for each other, we ask how are you doing, how are you really doing, what do you really need? We really reach out to the people around us, to the people in our community. Through our story with Keller we saw this time and time and time again where people would go out of their way and come into our life in radical ways to love us, to serve us, to care for us. And again, it wasn't because we were deserving of that. It was just what people felt on their heart from God to do. Sometimes I didn't even remember that it happened. People would tell me later as I was writing my book that they came and they served us and they loved us. And this is what was happening in Acts also. As they're continuing to go out, God was beginning to cultivate something really special. Let's look at Acts 4 now. It's continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, bought the money from the sales, and put it to the apostles' feet and was distributed to those who had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas, would be son of encouragement, I'm going to talk about him later, sold a field he owned and bought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. I love this because it is action. It is the church going out. It is the church that starts in here going out in radical ways, in ways no one expected, in ways they weren't being asked to do, and just saying, what can we do? Who can we bring in? Who can we serve? How can we do this differently? That is what church is, and that is cultivating a koinonia that is different and deeper than I think people are used to seeing for the church. I have another verse that I think really highlights this, and this is in Ephesians 4. So this is when Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus, and he's trying to effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. For one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. This is the God that we are seeking, and this is the places we are invited to cultivate. And over and over again in our world, we saw people come into our lives and just cultivate this oneness, cultivate this spirituality, just to say, we are with you. We are walking with you. We believe in you. We are coming alongside. They built church all over our world outside of church. Just one little way that this happened was on Keller's first day of school. So we'd walk a long journey with Keller and we get to his first day of school. I was terrified. I think he was okay, but I was terrified. And I reached out to our good friends who had kids at the school and said, Keller's starting school. Can you just meet us at the gate? And can we just all walk in together? And so his brother and sister, not from us, and his sister all met him there. And we walked into his school together. And it was a sacred moment of koinonia, of shared space, where we knew we were not alone, where Keller knew he was not alone. And he continued then building that throughout his life there. We need action to build koinonia. We need action to go into the world and build what God is asking us to build. I'm going to end this part and then finish with step four with this quote. Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and to know the other. We have to enter in and create sacred places everywhere we are. From a very needy family, I can tell you it's life-changing to know that everywhere you step, when you feel alone, when you feel scared, when you feel uncertain, when people show up as the church around you in a terrifying world, it buoys you with a hope that God is with you. I want to finish with just a fourth question. And that is, who isn't here yet? Who isn't here yet? I used to have dreams before I became a pastor of what the church could look like, more than just the church I had experienced, more than just the people I knew. I wanted diversity, and I wanted different religions, and I wanted people who saw the world differently. I've always been just kind of drawn to that. I've always been drawn to just go as far as I could go and see if something sacred is there. And again, I find that in the New Testament. You know, we know now Paul wrote 14 of the books of the New Testament. When he first came on the scene, everyone knew who he was because he was the one who was persecuting Christians. He was the one speaking out against Christians. He was the one who was the dangerous guy. And even though we have this new religion, we're not too sure about this Paul guy. But there was one person who gave him a chance, and that was Barnabas. In the early church, Barnabas gave Paul a chance and created space for Paul to come in. I want to look at this scripture in Acts 9. It's saying Saul here, Acts 9, starting at the end of 17, at the end of 19, sorry. Saul spent several days with his disciples in Damascus. That's Paul. And once he began to preach in synagogues that Jesus is the son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and asked, isn't that that crazy guy who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call his name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? Yet Saul grew more and more powerful in baffling the Jews, the religious in Damascus, by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. After many days he had gone by, there was a conspiracy against the Jews to kill him. But Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watching the city gates in order to kill him. So it wasn't just a weird guy. It was someone they thought was dangerous to their faith. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. Good friends. When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. This person who had to be given a place at the table because religion didn't accept him, didn't understand him, but he had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This person was given a space by Barnabas and went to the farthest places, the craziest spaces in all of the world to tell people about Jesus Christ. And I want us to ask, as we dream about Koinonia, who is not here yet? Who is not here yet? I love being here and seeing so many familiar faces, but God has churned in my heart this question over and over again, especially being in South Africa. Who is not at the table yet? Who is not in the doors yet? Who has not heard of Jesus yet? That is where we really begin to cultivate koinonia and the second part, where we begin to operate as oracles. And it's simply in this verse of Peter 4.11. This is my last verse. And it says in Peter 4 11, if anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ to him be the glory and the power forever and ever. In other versions, it says that, as they, it says they should speak. It speaks of being an oracle. So if Jesus was the word, he then asked us to be the words of God. That's what an oracle means. That we would live as the words of God. And I want to encourage you that the way that we do this is go into places, exist in places where God isn't as clear yet, where God isn't always present in the way we're used to seeing him. As I said, I always prayed about this idea of being around people of other faiths, of other nations, of other backgrounds. And through Keller, who this book is about, he has brought us these friends who are the weirdest people you have ever met. And they are every religion. We say that we're a big joke because it's me, I'm a pastor, and they call me Pastor Prince, and then there's a Wiccan, and there's a Jew, and there is a Buddhist, and there's an agnostic, and there's just our friend Lisa. And so we are like this tribe. And we have a WhatsApp group, and it's called Pastor Prince's Free Range Women. And we are this weird tribe of people. And within this tribe, something holy happens. learned years ago this this idea called holy envy that you go to other people not to tell them what's right and they're wrong not to just change them but you just talk you just open up and you see where something holy is within them something sacred is within them and so now with this group of women, we have had many, many, many holy places. Even in just this past year, the agnostic couple, I married them in December and they were very happy for me to talk about Jesus as I was there officiant. My Jewish friend Emma, her mom died also in December. She asked me to spread the ashes and do a ceremony for her. And my Wiccan friend, her mom has Alzheimer's and she's slowly leaving this earth. And she has asked me to pastor her mom and to pastor her and to do the sermon and the service when her mom passes. And they asked me to tell their kids about Jesus because there's something about that Jesus and there's something about you guys and there's something here. And I ask about Buddhism. And I ask about the Wiccan faith. And I ask about the Jewish faith. But I know that within me is an oracle. And coming from me is an oracle. Not because I'm special. But because God is within me. And the scripture says we have the hope of glory within us. So we can go anywhere. We don't have to fear that our light will be diluted. We don't have to fear that our God will be tamed. We don't have to wonder if he will fully reign because he will forever and ever reign through Jesus Christ our Lord. But we are invited to go into the world as oracles and bring that light to all the places that are needed, and that's everywhere. God is saying go into the schools as oracles. Go into your workplace as oracles. Go into your home and your family as oracles. Be a light from within with what God has done within your heart. Nothing can diminish that. That's what I love again about the early church, and I'll finish here. The early church went into all these places, and they kept saying, you're wrong. We're going to kill you. That can't be. This Jesus can't be. And they said it again and again, all I can say is this Jesus who I've met is my king, and he's my Lord. And nothing could diminish that. One of my heroes in life is Desmond Tutu, and he says this, that we must be ready to learn from one another, not pretending that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God. Because here's what I'm learning. God is bigger and he's greater and he's more profound than what we think. And we have a broken world that's in desperate need of this God and this light and this community. But we need to dream differently and we need to see differently. We need to go differently. We need to cultivate koinonia and we need to operate as oracles. So I want to end here. What do you dream? Coming to America, people are always asking us like, what do you think? And what's your perspective? And what do you think's going on? I don't want to look at what I see. I want to look at what God still needs and what God still wants to do and what God wants to create. And again, that's what Kyle did this morning in just a few moments. We could have left after that. God is ready for us to dream about places of koinonia and us operating as oracles in a world that is in desperate need of his light and his love. So I want to invite us to dream what that could look like and see that revival that Kyle's talking about in all the places that need it most. Let's pray. God, I thank you that you are a great God, that you are not limited to our words or our songs or our prayers or how we've seen you before. God, you are greater. And I pray, God, that you would move within us to help us to dream of a new community, of new closeness, of a new connection, of new light, of new love. And help us to be your oracles. Help us to be as the early church who was pushing farther and farther to tell people of the love of you, Jesus Christ. May we not hold back in what we know you can do and how we know we can shine your light all over the world. We love you, God. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
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Good morning, Grace. While you guys are watching this video, I'll be on a plane to Ethiopia with some other people from Grace to support our team working in Addis Jamari over there. This morning, we have a special guest, Sarah Prince. She and her husband, Casey, have come over with Kieran and Keller, their children. They're based in Cape Town, South Africa. Years ago, Casey and Sarah were on staff here at Grace back in the old days, and then we had the privilege of sending them over there to be missionaries in South Africa, where they work with a football team called Ubuntu and are involved in their community in many other ways. So this morning, Sarah is going to come share with us a really important message from her heart, and I'm excited for all of us to get to hear from her. Good morning. Good morning, Grace Raleigh. It's so good to be here. It's so good to see your faces. Many of you I know, and it's such a privilege to be here again. We were a part of Grace when it was over there. There, there, there, there. Yep, that way. And for many years, we served at Grace. I was an associate pastor. My husband was a youth pastor. And then this church community sent us 14 years ago, almost 15, if you can believe it, out into South Africa to do ministry. I have a picture of our family, if you haven't seen them walking around. My daughter, Kieran, is in kids ministry now because she loves the kids. That's Keller. And that's my handsome husband, Casey. Behind us is the street where we live. And we will be going back there tomorrow. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. I'm so grateful to be here. And I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about all the other stuff that we do. But I did bring a few copies of my book. And I also have a few postcards. If you don't know us, I'm so excited to meet you. And we have some postcards and some... Can you help me put these out, Casey? He's already on his phone. Can you help me just set... Oh, he's taking notes. Okay. There's four points. That's all you have to know. But then can you just set those out? When you're done. Before, in the next 30 minutes. So we have some postcards and some info about our family if you don't know anything about us, but many of you do. And I just want to say, I was just chatting with someone outside and they were saying, I can't remember when you guys met and I can't believe this is happening. And you know, it's so crazy that you did this. And we always say the reason that we could risk what we do in South Africa is because we have this community to come back to. We've kind of like played, I don't know, poker, but like played all the cards or the chips or the things. And I'm a big gambler. So we gambled all the gambling stuff and we've just put it into South Africa. But we always know we have this community here that loves us, that supports us. And then we can always come home to. So we thank you for your love and support. But that's not what I want to talk about today. So I've been wrestling with something lately. This is the first time in a very long time that I have something that God is showing me, and then I'm like, okay, but God, where is that in Scripture? Usually I'm like really big into the Bible, and I'm like digging, and then that's the thing I want to focus on. But today with this topic, I've come to God curious. God, what is this thing that you've done in our world? Because in 14 years in South Africa, we have built a ministry called Ubuntu Football, where now we've sent 24 young men to America to study, one of who's here, hey-o. And we have a bunch of young men who are playing professionally, a bunch of young men who are studying in South Africa, a bunch of young men who are beginning their lives as incredible men. One of them is my son's soccer coach at his school. It's really beautiful. But as we've done all these other things, God has given us this very rich and vibrant community. This very unique group of people. Kind of different pockets of people that are very strange and very unique and very fun and very sacred. And so I've started to ask God, what is that? One story that highlights the weirdness of our community comes with a cake. So I have a cake here. Our son was diagnosed with autism how many years ago now? He is 12, so about 10 years ago. And we're in the community of South Africa as this happens, not even knowing what autism is about. That's what my book is about, Anguish to Awakening, our journey with Keller, my journey. And I have this group of friends. And I think we got a diagnosis. And maybe the next day, I was at the gym. And I ran into Kate. And she's like, oh, how are you? And I was like, I'm, you know, and I just cried at the gym and told her what happened, and we had this group of women friends, and so she sat with me, she prayed with me, and then maybe a week or two later, she said, we want to get together with you. Come over this night. I show up at her house, and this is the cake for me, and she said, we can do hard things together, and so we're celebrating that. We're at the beginning of a very hard thing, and we will do it together with you. And they had this like key chain thing with quotes and cards, and they just sat with me and cried with me. And I look back at that, think that is so unique to enter into a really difficult time and have people come and just say, we're here in the hard. We're not here for the highlights. We're not here for the good times. We're here now, today, in the hard. And it struck me as so unique. And we've had these kinds of times, these kinds of instances over and over again. And I need to admit that it's not because we're so great at friendship or that we're so great at bringing people around. I think it's a God-given gift. And I think there are some things that God has taught us along the way to help cultivate that community. That's the title today. I can't have a simple, I kept, community doesn't work, initiating community, it's not rich enough. So today's title is Cultivating Koinonia and Orating as Oracles. Because sometimes American or English words don't do it justice. And I want to talk about this. What does it mean to cultivate not just community, not just friends, koinonia, I'll explain that, and how do we operate as oracles? Because I think that's where something happens. You know, I grew up all over the country. I moved a lot. And so only when I became a young adult, I got married, like right after college, three weeks. Don't recommend it, young people. It's worked out, 22 years. But it was crazy. So I jumped into adulthood, went to seminary to become a pastor, and all of a sudden realized many things. Another sermon. But one of them was that I had no idea how to make friends. But I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was like, fine. I was just happy. I was just doing my thing. I was just bebopping around. And I started to realize I needed friends. And it was in this church that I learned the power of friendship and koinonia. We used to have a retreat. Anyone go to koinonia? Koinonia. Yeah. See? We had this retreat and I was dragged to it. Okay, fine. I'll go because I'm like a pastor or whatever. And it was this beautiful time of friendship and connection. And through this place, I learned the importance, the need of koinonia. But you know, a lot of people have never learned this. They've never been in environments where this is pushed, where this is elevated, where this is celebrated. There's lots of statistics on this, but three decades ago, there was a poll that said 3% of Americans had no close friends. 2021, 12% had no close friends. Into the pandemic, 13% of women, 8% of men had lost touch with most of their friends. This is something happening a lot more. Nowadays, some 8% will say they have no friends at all. This is something that's been talked about here. I didn't hear about this because we're in Africa, and in Africa things are done a bit differently. But there's actually a pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness. It's everywhere. And that's a word that just means you're disconnected. You don't have people. You're not anchored. You're not moored by others. And you're just kind of wandering. And it's actually celebrated here. It's just kind of how we do things here. And actually, this epidemic, the Surgeon General says that it affects one out of two adults. And it doesn't just help your mood. It's about your entire body, your entire health. It actually predicts the longevity of your life if you're lonely or if you have people around you. And so when the Surgeon General went around the states, some of the things that he heard were people would tell me all again and again. They felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. And they said, if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice. Now, if this doesn't feel a bit familiar, I'm glad you're here because I have a job for you. Some of us just have people around and we don't know how we did it or why it was given to us. For us, we were just super needy and having a child with autism was one of the big things. We just kind of were like, we're broken, help us. And people came around us, which is what I talk about in the book. But I think most people don't display their need in the way that our family did. We were very vocal about it. But if you feel like you have close community, if you don't know what loneliness feels like, then great. I have a job for you. Because many people feel very, very lonely. Many people feel very, very isolated. All over the world, people are saying that they want community. They want friendship. They want that in their world, but they don't know how to find it. All community is is a sense of belonging, support, shared purpose. And it's a place where the church should be leading. We've got this whole book that is people that did it. I mean, they fought a lot, and they killed each other some, and it was messy, but like they did it. This is the book about it, and yet we are doing it poorly at times. We have a friend who grew up, he grew up doing, his family was doing missions, their South African family, and he is South African, but has moved to New Zealand. He just recently flew from New Zealand to Amsterdam for what? Does anyone know who was in Amsterdam recently? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. He has a beautiful family. He's very connected. But people all over the globe have been traveling in the, I don't even know, the millions, the trillions, to see this woman sing songs. Now, I hear, I know every song because of my daughter. I know every word. I know every syllable. They're good. They're fine. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good. Did I say they were good? That is not why people are going to this concert. They are going because people have over and over and over said something like this. Entering the Erez tour was like stepping into an alternate universe where everyone was bursting with joy. I've never encountered such a warm, friendly, and kind crowd. People have called it transcendental. And it embodies love to people all over the world. It's not about the songs. It's this feeling thousands of people have when they're together. They're connected. They're a community. They're being seen and known. Now, I'm not asking any of you to be Taylor Swift, the next one, although my daughter might be. But I don't think we need a concert to create the sacred art of connection. It can happen anywhere. And God shows us how to do it. And it is a word that's more than community. It is that word koinonia in the New Testament. It's roughly translated fellowship, but it means to share together, to take part. And the same idea is found in another Greek word. That's metakos. And it means to have with or to have together. Now, I'm using sacred New Testament words to describe what those people are saying about Taylor Swift. And what I know God is desperate for people to describe about us. And again, if you don't know the feeling of loneliness, then it is your time. If you do, then I'm here to give you hope. Because it is possible among every single one of us. Being here in South Africa has highlighted to me not how special we are as a family to do what we do, but how God is really great because this group of idiots is running this incredible organization in South Africa because it's God's mission, it's God's dream, it's God's plan, and even we can't stop it with all of our fumbles and our foils and our missteps. When God has a plan, he will use the best of us and the worst of us. His plan is to be together. So I have four, I don't have a pamphlet, I'm from Africa. I don't have a pamphlet, but I do have four very simple points. If you're saying, I don't have that. I have people around, but I don't have a deep connection. Or if you're saying, I have it. This is for you. Because it's time to step into something sacred, something real. And none of my examples, I'm going to tell some stories, not a single one is a Bible study. I have the best Bible study. I want to start there. I have the best Bible study. There are these women, and my sister was just in South Africa, and she was with them. There are these beautiful women that I've known for years and years, and we get together, and we cry, and we laugh, and we pray, and we scream out to God, and it is holy. None of these examples are going to be a church or a Bible study because I want to inspire you to dream of where the church could go beyond this. This is holy, but that world needs this sacred thing. So I want you to dream. Okay, so step one. Step one of creating, cultivating koinonia. We'll end with orating as oracles, but cultivating koinonia. And actually cultivating is step three. So you're not ready for the first letter of this sermon. You ready? Step one, introspection. This sounds so simple, but it is so profound. We went to South Africa to help everyone and to save everyone and to do all the great things for Jesus. And then a few years in, we had a son who was diagnosed with autism. And we were like, no, God, not the plan. We're doing some other stuff. We have a lot to do. We have a big plan. We have a big mission. We're going to serve for Jesus. This has happened time and time again to me. It even happened recently where we have a plan and then God says, no, this is a plan. But we were in desperate need. We didn't even know what autism meant. We had to Google it as we started our journey. But this is the first step of community. It isn't creating a Bible study. It isn't finding people to play pickleball with. The first step is introspection. The first step is what is my need? What is happening in here? Number one, introspection. This came through hardship for us. But as we've walked through that hardship, we've had to be really honest. What is it that we need in a community? Who do we need around us? What does it mean to raise kids and to do this life with people in our world? What does that look like? And we've had to be very introspective. This is something people are talking about, not just Taylor Swift people, but all over the world. I recently heard an interview with this woman, Priya Parker. She wrote this book called The Art of Gathering. So I would have thought, I would never picked up this book. I would have thought it's been about like dinner parties, which I love, or like how to host something cute or how to find the Pinterest board. But for her, The Art of Gathering starts with assessing your needs. Because you cannot create a gathering of people where you are authentically a part if you don't know what it is you need in that group. Creating community begins with your own needs. What is my need here? How am I actually feeling? What do I need from other people? That sounds selfish, sounds maybe anti-Christian, but it's true because if I'm going to authentically show up, that means my needs are going to show up. My desires are going to show up. My dreams are going to show up. My brokenness is going to show up. So I need to show up first with my true self, not who I think I should be, not who I want to be, not how I want to save the world. Again, read Sarah and Casey's whole story. Me, just me. And so that starts with being honest. And as I've wrestled with this idea and asked God, where is this in scripture? I've gone to the early church, but I want to start with what I believe maybe the early church was praying. So in Acts, you see the early church and they are wrestling. There are these, talk about misfits. They were running around with Jesus, getting it all wrong, being on the top, being on the bottom, just being a mess. I love them. And then Jesus got killed on the cross. They all went in hiding. They were scared. They were confused. They were doubting. They were a mess. And then he comes back. He rises and boom, everything changes. What's fun about studying the Bible, this part of the Bible, is there is no proof that he rose. You have an empty grave. You have someone who people said they saw, and then he was gone. But here's the proof. Is this group of people something happened in? I love what Kyle was sharing about what is going to happen now with the youth. We don't need to know what happened at Infuge, although I was ready for like a video of like, Infuge, it was so cool, and here's the water slide, and here's when they raised their hands. I was ready for a video. We don't need a video of what happened in Infuge. We need young people who are radically different and on fire for Jesus. That's all the proof we need. We don't need to see the pictures. We don't need to, the dirty clothes, I'm sure, were also proof when you parents washed them. The proof is in the people, and I believe we'll see that. The princes will be praying for the revival here for the young people. And I pray that you adults will come along with them. That's the proof that something happened. So this early church, something happened. Something happened. And they were radically different. And they're walking around just being wild for Jesus Christ. But I wondered, were they introspective? Because you don't really see it. You kind of just see them like, boom, out there, you know, changing the world. What they would have been doing is reading the Old Testament scriptures. I love that. They would have been wrestling and thinking and praying and talking and saying, God, what is my part in building this new world? And so that would have started with introspection. And so we have a simple scripture that you've heard a million times, but I'm going to highlight a couple light. It says here, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. The first step for revival is introspection. And the two words to focus on here are search. And it was a word that was used if miners were searching for gold or if Israelites were searching for new territory. They were searching like their life depended on it. Like not a little devotion in the morning, not 101.5 Christian music as they came through on a Sunday morning, not that kind of searching. I mean, searching like your life depends on it. If you don't show up, I have nothing else. That kind of searching is what the first church was doing. And then they were saying, test me. Test me. What needs to be let go? What needs to come out? What needs to rise? What is my place? What is my message? What is my calling? They were saying, test me, show me, reveal in me anything that is going to keep me from you. And then reveal in me how you want to use me. Test me. Do heart surgery on me as you take me out into this mission. You better believe that that early church was on their knees looking at those Old Testament scriptures, begging God, because the Psalms are the Psalms of that. that's the prayers. That's the way they really prayed. Begging God, search me, test me, and lead me to where you have me. So the first step is very simple. Search me and test me. I have a really great quote about this and what we need to do. There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace and ultimately no life without community. If the revival stays in here, it will die with me. It might go my whole life. But if revival stays here, then it's not done its job. It's not for you. It's not for me. It's for everyone else. But it takes vulnerability. And it takes risk. And so we start there, which is hard, but important. Step two, take initiative. This is a step also. I'm not talking about church, but I love church. Keep going to small group. Keep going to Bible study. Keep going to youth. But start going out into this world. Because this world has an epidemic of loneliness. This world is on fire. This world is in pain. This world is in need. And there are tons of places for you to go into this world and bring the love of God and create a place of belonging. This year, as I wrote my book, I finished my book last year, I was just praying, God, how can I be your hands and feet? How can I go out? What do I have to give? What have I learned that I could share? And at the end of last year, I started at Keller School, this support group of just parents who had kids with special needs or extra needs. And I just said, come once a month, just come and show up. It wasn't Christian. It was just come. We've had it now for almost a year. Every single time people risk, they're vulnerable, they cry out in need every single time. And every single time people risk they're vulnerable they cry out in need every single time and every single time someone shares faith someone shares hope in a real spiritual way because they're sharing what where they are and we're together meeting that need all of us have something to offer someplace Some place we can step out. Some place where we can open up a hand, open up a place where someone can feel not alone. And it takes us going out. And again, the early church did this. Religion was there. The buildings were there. And the early church went out. And you've read this before, but I'm going to highlight one very simple thing. So Acts 2, 41 through 47. You've heard this before so many times. Those who accepted Jesus' message were baptized, and about 3,000 were added to the number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. And it continues. I'm scared I have a different version. I'll keep going. 47 is all we have. I'll keep going. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. I love the early church. And I mean, in COVID, I found myself just, when we couldn't meet, just like, okay, well, what did that look like when they first started gathering? And what they did was they just went. They would gather and they would pray and then they would go and they would gather and they would eat and they would go and they would gather and they would sing and they would go. They were just going and going and going. And as they were going, there were numbers added daily, weekly, monthly, because they were going. I think God is calling us to go. We all have something in our hand. We all have something we've learned. We all have something we care about. Let's go into the world. It could be as simple as my husband this year, he started doing paddle. You don't do that here. It's like squash and tennis together. And we have this cool paddle place near our house. And he's decided I'm going to be a paddle person. This is a place where Casey is bringing the love of Christ, the light of Christ. He's creating community in this place. But it calls us to go and to create something new. A quote here is by a guy named Bell Hooks. One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. I hope you come here and you know that you're not alone, but just know that there are a lot of people that might need to come somewhere else to know they're not alone before they can come here to know that they're not alone. And so God is asking us to go and to create that. Step three, cultivate. Here we go. So now we've been introspective. We know what's in our hand. We know we're going to go out. Now we begin to cultivate koinonia. So this is where we nurture connections. We have places of connection and we nurture, we care for each other, we ask how are you doing, how are you really doing, what do you really need? We really reach out to the people around us, to the people in our community. Through our story with Keller we saw this time and time and time again where people would go out of their way and come into our life in radical ways to love us, to serve us, to care for us. And again, it wasn't because we were deserving of that. It was just what people felt on their heart from God to do. Sometimes I didn't even remember that it happened. People would tell me later as I was writing my book that they came and they served us and they loved us. And this is what was happening in Acts also. As they're continuing to go out, God was beginning to cultivate something really special. Let's look at Acts 4 now. It's continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, bought the money from the sales, and put it to the apostles' feet and was distributed to those who had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas, would be son of encouragement, I'm going to talk about him later, sold a field he owned and bought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. I love this because it is action. It is the church going out. It is the church that starts in here going out in radical ways, in ways no one expected, in ways they weren't being asked to do, and just saying, what can we do? Who can we bring in? Who can we serve? How can we do this differently? That is what church is, and that is cultivating a koinonia that is different and deeper than I think people are used to seeing for the church. I have another verse that I think really highlights this, and this is in Ephesians 4. So this is when Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus, and he's trying to effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. For one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. This is the God that we are seeking, and this is the places we are invited to cultivate. And over and over again in our world, we saw people come into our lives and just cultivate this oneness, cultivate this spirituality, just to say, we are with you. We are walking with you. We believe in you. We are coming alongside. They built church all over our world outside of church. Just one little way that this happened was on Keller's first day of school. So we'd walk a long journey with Keller and we get to his first day of school. I was terrified. I think he was okay, but I was terrified. And I reached out to our good friends who had kids at the school and said, Keller's starting school. Can you just meet us at the gate? And can we just all walk in together? And so his brother and sister, not from us, and his sister all met him there. And we walked into his school together. And it was a sacred moment of koinonia, of shared space, where we knew we were not alone, where Keller knew he was not alone. And he continued then building that throughout his life there. We need action to build koinonia. We need action to go into the world and build what God is asking us to build. I'm going to end this part and then finish with step four with this quote. Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and to know the other. We have to enter in and create sacred places everywhere we are. From a very needy family, I can tell you it's life-changing to know that everywhere you step, when you feel alone, when you feel scared, when you feel uncertain, when people show up as the church around you in a terrifying world, it buoys you with a hope that God is with you. I want to finish with just a fourth question. And that is, who isn't here yet? Who isn't here yet? I used to have dreams before I became a pastor of what the church could look like, more than just the church I had experienced, more than just the people I knew. I wanted diversity, and I wanted different religions, and I wanted people who saw the world differently. I've always been just kind of drawn to that. I've always been drawn to just go as far as I could go and see if something sacred is there. And again, I find that in the New Testament. You know, we know now Paul wrote 14 of the books of the New Testament. When he first came on the scene, everyone knew who he was because he was the one who was persecuting Christians. He was the one speaking out against Christians. He was the one who was the dangerous guy. And even though we have this new religion, we're not too sure about this Paul guy. But there was one person who gave him a chance, and that was Barnabas. In the early church, Barnabas gave Paul a chance and created space for Paul to come in. I want to look at this scripture in Acts 9. It's saying Saul here, Acts 9, starting at the end of 17, at the end of 19, sorry. Saul spent several days with his disciples in Damascus. That's Paul. And once he began to preach in synagogues that Jesus is the son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and asked, isn't that that crazy guy who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call his name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? Yet Saul grew more and more powerful in baffling the Jews, the religious in Damascus, by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. After many days he had gone by, there was a conspiracy against the Jews to kill him. But Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watching the city gates in order to kill him. So it wasn't just a weird guy. It was someone they thought was dangerous to their faith. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. Good friends. When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. This person who had to be given a place at the table because religion didn't accept him, didn't understand him, but he had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This person was given a space by Barnabas and went to the farthest places, the craziest spaces in all of the world to tell people about Jesus Christ. And I want us to ask, as we dream about Koinonia, who is not here yet? Who is not here yet? I love being here and seeing so many familiar faces, but God has churned in my heart this question over and over again, especially being in South Africa. Who is not at the table yet? Who is not in the doors yet? Who has not heard of Jesus yet? That is where we really begin to cultivate koinonia and the second part, where we begin to operate as oracles. And it's simply in this verse of Peter 4.11. This is my last verse. And it says in Peter 4 11, if anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ to him be the glory and the power forever and ever. In other versions, it says that, as they, it says they should speak. It speaks of being an oracle. So if Jesus was the word, he then asked us to be the words of God. That's what an oracle means. That we would live as the words of God. And I want to encourage you that the way that we do this is go into places, exist in places where God isn't as clear yet, where God isn't always present in the way we're used to seeing him. As I said, I always prayed about this idea of being around people of other faiths, of other nations, of other backgrounds. And through Keller, who this book is about, he has brought us these friends who are the weirdest people you have ever met. And they are every religion. We say that we're a big joke because it's me, I'm a pastor, and they call me Pastor Prince, and then there's a Wiccan, and there's a Jew, and there is a Buddhist, and there's an agnostic, and there's just our friend Lisa. And so we are like this tribe. And we have a WhatsApp group, and it's called Pastor Prince's Free Range Women. And we are this weird tribe of people. And within this tribe, something holy happens. learned years ago this this idea called holy envy that you go to other people not to tell them what's right and they're wrong not to just change them but you just talk you just open up and you see where something holy is within them something sacred is within them and so now with this group of women, we have had many, many, many holy places. Even in just this past year, the agnostic couple, I married them in December and they were very happy for me to talk about Jesus as I was there officiant. My Jewish friend Emma, her mom died also in December. She asked me to spread the ashes and do a ceremony for her. And my Wiccan friend, her mom has Alzheimer's and she's slowly leaving this earth. And she has asked me to pastor her mom and to pastor her and to do the sermon and the service when her mom passes. And they asked me to tell their kids about Jesus because there's something about that Jesus and there's something about you guys and there's something here. And I ask about Buddhism. And I ask about the Wiccan faith. And I ask about the Jewish faith. But I know that within me is an oracle. And coming from me is an oracle. Not because I'm special. But because God is within me. And the scripture says we have the hope of glory within us. So we can go anywhere. We don't have to fear that our light will be diluted. We don't have to fear that our God will be tamed. We don't have to wonder if he will fully reign because he will forever and ever reign through Jesus Christ our Lord. But we are invited to go into the world as oracles and bring that light to all the places that are needed, and that's everywhere. God is saying go into the schools as oracles. Go into your workplace as oracles. Go into your home and your family as oracles. Be a light from within with what God has done within your heart. Nothing can diminish that. That's what I love again about the early church, and I'll finish here. The early church went into all these places, and they kept saying, you're wrong. We're going to kill you. That can't be. This Jesus can't be. And they said it again and again, all I can say is this Jesus who I've met is my king, and he's my Lord. And nothing could diminish that. One of my heroes in life is Desmond Tutu, and he says this, that we must be ready to learn from one another, not pretending that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God. Because here's what I'm learning. God is bigger and he's greater and he's more profound than what we think. And we have a broken world that's in desperate need of this God and this light and this community. But we need to dream differently and we need to see differently. We need to go differently. We need to cultivate koinonia and we need to operate as oracles. So I want to end here. What do you dream? Coming to America, people are always asking us like, what do you think? And what's your perspective? And what do you think's going on? I don't want to look at what I see. I want to look at what God still needs and what God still wants to do and what God wants to create. And again, that's what Kyle did this morning in just a few moments. We could have left after that. God is ready for us to dream about places of koinonia and us operating as oracles in a world that is in desperate need of his light and his love. So I want to invite us to dream what that could look like and see that revival that Kyle's talking about in all the places that need it most. Let's pray. God, I thank you that you are a great God, that you are not limited to our words or our songs or our prayers or how we've seen you before. God, you are greater. And I pray, God, that you would move within us to help us to dream of a new community, of new closeness, of a new connection, of new light, of new love. And help us to be your oracles. Help us to be as the early church who was pushing farther and farther to tell people of the love of you, Jesus Christ. May we not hold back in what we know you can do and how we know we can shine your light all over the world. We love you, God. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
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Good morning, Grace. While you guys are watching this video, I'll be on a plane to Ethiopia with some other people from Grace to support our team working in Addis Jamari over there. This morning, we have a special guest, Sarah Prince. She and her husband, Casey, have come over with Kieran and Keller, their children. They're based in Cape Town, South Africa. Years ago, Casey and Sarah were on staff here at Grace back in the old days, and then we had the privilege of sending them over there to be missionaries in South Africa, where they work with a football team called Ubuntu and are involved in their community in many other ways. So this morning, Sarah is going to come share with us a really important message from her heart, and I'm excited for all of us to get to hear from her. Good morning. Good morning, Grace Raleigh. It's so good to be here. It's so good to see your faces. Many of you I know, and it's such a privilege to be here again. We were a part of Grace when it was over there. There, there, there, there. Yep, that way. And for many years, we served at Grace. I was an associate pastor. My husband was a youth pastor. And then this church community sent us 14 years ago, almost 15, if you can believe it, out into South Africa to do ministry. I have a picture of our family, if you haven't seen them walking around. My daughter, Kieran, is in kids ministry now because she loves the kids. That's Keller. And that's my handsome husband, Casey. Behind us is the street where we live. And we will be going back there tomorrow. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. I'm so grateful to be here. And I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about all the other stuff that we do. But I did bring a few copies of my book. And I also have a few postcards. If you don't know us, I'm so excited to meet you. And we have some postcards and some... Can you help me put these out, Casey? He's already on his phone. Can you help me just set... Oh, he's taking notes. Okay. There's four points. That's all you have to know. But then can you just set those out? When you're done. Before, in the next 30 minutes. So we have some postcards and some info about our family if you don't know anything about us, but many of you do. And I just want to say, I was just chatting with someone outside and they were saying, I can't remember when you guys met and I can't believe this is happening. And you know, it's so crazy that you did this. And we always say the reason that we could risk what we do in South Africa is because we have this community to come back to. We've kind of like played, I don't know, poker, but like played all the cards or the chips or the things. And I'm a big gambler. So we gambled all the gambling stuff and we've just put it into South Africa. But we always know we have this community here that loves us, that supports us. And then we can always come home to. So we thank you for your love and support. But that's not what I want to talk about today. So I've been wrestling with something lately. This is the first time in a very long time that I have something that God is showing me, and then I'm like, okay, but God, where is that in Scripture? Usually I'm like really big into the Bible, and I'm like digging, and then that's the thing I want to focus on. But today with this topic, I've come to God curious. God, what is this thing that you've done in our world? Because in 14 years in South Africa, we have built a ministry called Ubuntu Football, where now we've sent 24 young men to America to study, one of who's here, hey-o. And we have a bunch of young men who are playing professionally, a bunch of young men who are studying in South Africa, a bunch of young men who are beginning their lives as incredible men. One of them is my son's soccer coach at his school. It's really beautiful. But as we've done all these other things, God has given us this very rich and vibrant community. This very unique group of people. Kind of different pockets of people that are very strange and very unique and very fun and very sacred. And so I've started to ask God, what is that? One story that highlights the weirdness of our community comes with a cake. So I have a cake here. Our son was diagnosed with autism how many years ago now? He is 12, so about 10 years ago. And we're in the community of South Africa as this happens, not even knowing what autism is about. That's what my book is about, Anguish to Awakening, our journey with Keller, my journey. And I have this group of friends. And I think we got a diagnosis. And maybe the next day, I was at the gym. And I ran into Kate. And she's like, oh, how are you? And I was like, I'm, you know, and I just cried at the gym and told her what happened, and we had this group of women friends, and so she sat with me, she prayed with me, and then maybe a week or two later, she said, we want to get together with you. Come over this night. I show up at her house, and this is the cake for me, and she said, we can do hard things together, and so we're celebrating that. We're at the beginning of a very hard thing, and we will do it together with you. And they had this like key chain thing with quotes and cards, and they just sat with me and cried with me. And I look back at that, think that is so unique to enter into a really difficult time and have people come and just say, we're here in the hard. We're not here for the highlights. We're not here for the good times. We're here now, today, in the hard. And it struck me as so unique. And we've had these kinds of times, these kinds of instances over and over again. And I need to admit that it's not because we're so great at friendship or that we're so great at bringing people around. I think it's a God-given gift. And I think there are some things that God has taught us along the way to help cultivate that community. That's the title today. I can't have a simple, I kept, community doesn't work, initiating community, it's not rich enough. So today's title is Cultivating Koinonia and Orating as Oracles. Because sometimes American or English words don't do it justice. And I want to talk about this. What does it mean to cultivate not just community, not just friends, koinonia, I'll explain that, and how do we operate as oracles? Because I think that's where something happens. You know, I grew up all over the country. I moved a lot. And so only when I became a young adult, I got married, like right after college, three weeks. Don't recommend it, young people. It's worked out, 22 years. But it was crazy. So I jumped into adulthood, went to seminary to become a pastor, and all of a sudden realized many things. Another sermon. But one of them was that I had no idea how to make friends. But I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was like, fine. I was just happy. I was just doing my thing. I was just bebopping around. And I started to realize I needed friends. And it was in this church that I learned the power of friendship and koinonia. We used to have a retreat. Anyone go to koinonia? Koinonia. Yeah. See? We had this retreat and I was dragged to it. Okay, fine. I'll go because I'm like a pastor or whatever. And it was this beautiful time of friendship and connection. And through this place, I learned the importance, the need of koinonia. But you know, a lot of people have never learned this. They've never been in environments where this is pushed, where this is elevated, where this is celebrated. There's lots of statistics on this, but three decades ago, there was a poll that said 3% of Americans had no close friends. 2021, 12% had no close friends. Into the pandemic, 13% of women, 8% of men had lost touch with most of their friends. This is something happening a lot more. Nowadays, some 8% will say they have no friends at all. This is something that's been talked about here. I didn't hear about this because we're in Africa, and in Africa things are done a bit differently. But there's actually a pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness. It's everywhere. And that's a word that just means you're disconnected. You don't have people. You're not anchored. You're not moored by others. And you're just kind of wandering. And it's actually celebrated here. It's just kind of how we do things here. And actually, this epidemic, the Surgeon General says that it affects one out of two adults. And it doesn't just help your mood. It's about your entire body, your entire health. It actually predicts the longevity of your life if you're lonely or if you have people around you. And so when the Surgeon General went around the states, some of the things that he heard were people would tell me all again and again. They felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. And they said, if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice. Now, if this doesn't feel a bit familiar, I'm glad you're here because I have a job for you. Some of us just have people around and we don't know how we did it or why it was given to us. For us, we were just super needy and having a child with autism was one of the big things. We just kind of were like, we're broken, help us. And people came around us, which is what I talk about in the book. But I think most people don't display their need in the way that our family did. We were very vocal about it. But if you feel like you have close community, if you don't know what loneliness feels like, then great. I have a job for you. Because many people feel very, very lonely. Many people feel very, very isolated. All over the world, people are saying that they want community. They want friendship. They want that in their world, but they don't know how to find it. All community is is a sense of belonging, support, shared purpose. And it's a place where the church should be leading. We've got this whole book that is people that did it. I mean, they fought a lot, and they killed each other some, and it was messy, but like they did it. This is the book about it, and yet we are doing it poorly at times. We have a friend who grew up, he grew up doing, his family was doing missions, their South African family, and he is South African, but has moved to New Zealand. He just recently flew from New Zealand to Amsterdam for what? Does anyone know who was in Amsterdam recently? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. He has a beautiful family. He's very connected. But people all over the globe have been traveling in the, I don't even know, the millions, the trillions, to see this woman sing songs. Now, I hear, I know every song because of my daughter. I know every word. I know every syllable. They're good. They're fine. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good. Did I say they were good? That is not why people are going to this concert. They are going because people have over and over and over said something like this. Entering the Erez tour was like stepping into an alternate universe where everyone was bursting with joy. I've never encountered such a warm, friendly, and kind crowd. People have called it transcendental. And it embodies love to people all over the world. It's not about the songs. It's this feeling thousands of people have when they're together. They're connected. They're a community. They're being seen and known. Now, I'm not asking any of you to be Taylor Swift, the next one, although my daughter might be. But I don't think we need a concert to create the sacred art of connection. It can happen anywhere. And God shows us how to do it. And it is a word that's more than community. It is that word koinonia in the New Testament. It's roughly translated fellowship, but it means to share together, to take part. And the same idea is found in another Greek word. That's metakos. And it means to have with or to have together. Now, I'm using sacred New Testament words to describe what those people are saying about Taylor Swift. And what I know God is desperate for people to describe about us. And again, if you don't know the feeling of loneliness, then it is your time. If you do, then I'm here to give you hope. Because it is possible among every single one of us. Being here in South Africa has highlighted to me not how special we are as a family to do what we do, but how God is really great because this group of idiots is running this incredible organization in South Africa because it's God's mission, it's God's dream, it's God's plan, and even we can't stop it with all of our fumbles and our foils and our missteps. When God has a plan, he will use the best of us and the worst of us. His plan is to be together. So I have four, I don't have a pamphlet, I'm from Africa. I don't have a pamphlet, but I do have four very simple points. If you're saying, I don't have that. I have people around, but I don't have a deep connection. Or if you're saying, I have it. This is for you. Because it's time to step into something sacred, something real. And none of my examples, I'm going to tell some stories, not a single one is a Bible study. I have the best Bible study. I want to start there. I have the best Bible study. There are these women, and my sister was just in South Africa, and she was with them. There are these beautiful women that I've known for years and years, and we get together, and we cry, and we laugh, and we pray, and we scream out to God, and it is holy. None of these examples are going to be a church or a Bible study because I want to inspire you to dream of where the church could go beyond this. This is holy, but that world needs this sacred thing. So I want you to dream. Okay, so step one. Step one of creating, cultivating koinonia. We'll end with orating as oracles, but cultivating koinonia. And actually cultivating is step three. So you're not ready for the first letter of this sermon. You ready? Step one, introspection. This sounds so simple, but it is so profound. We went to South Africa to help everyone and to save everyone and to do all the great things for Jesus. And then a few years in, we had a son who was diagnosed with autism. And we were like, no, God, not the plan. We're doing some other stuff. We have a lot to do. We have a big plan. We have a big mission. We're going to serve for Jesus. This has happened time and time again to me. It even happened recently where we have a plan and then God says, no, this is a plan. But we were in desperate need. We didn't even know what autism meant. We had to Google it as we started our journey. But this is the first step of community. It isn't creating a Bible study. It isn't finding people to play pickleball with. The first step is introspection. The first step is what is my need? What is happening in here? Number one, introspection. This came through hardship for us. But as we've walked through that hardship, we've had to be really honest. What is it that we need in a community? Who do we need around us? What does it mean to raise kids and to do this life with people in our world? What does that look like? And we've had to be very introspective. This is something people are talking about, not just Taylor Swift people, but all over the world. I recently heard an interview with this woman, Priya Parker. She wrote this book called The Art of Gathering. So I would have thought, I would never picked up this book. I would have thought it's been about like dinner parties, which I love, or like how to host something cute or how to find the Pinterest board. But for her, The Art of Gathering starts with assessing your needs. Because you cannot create a gathering of people where you are authentically a part if you don't know what it is you need in that group. Creating community begins with your own needs. What is my need here? How am I actually feeling? What do I need from other people? That sounds selfish, sounds maybe anti-Christian, but it's true because if I'm going to authentically show up, that means my needs are going to show up. My desires are going to show up. My dreams are going to show up. My brokenness is going to show up. So I need to show up first with my true self, not who I think I should be, not who I want to be, not how I want to save the world. Again, read Sarah and Casey's whole story. Me, just me. And so that starts with being honest. And as I've wrestled with this idea and asked God, where is this in scripture? I've gone to the early church, but I want to start with what I believe maybe the early church was praying. So in Acts, you see the early church and they are wrestling. There are these, talk about misfits. They were running around with Jesus, getting it all wrong, being on the top, being on the bottom, just being a mess. I love them. And then Jesus got killed on the cross. They all went in hiding. They were scared. They were confused. They were doubting. They were a mess. And then he comes back. He rises and boom, everything changes. What's fun about studying the Bible, this part of the Bible, is there is no proof that he rose. You have an empty grave. You have someone who people said they saw, and then he was gone. But here's the proof. Is this group of people something happened in? I love what Kyle was sharing about what is going to happen now with the youth. We don't need to know what happened at Infuge, although I was ready for like a video of like, Infuge, it was so cool, and here's the water slide, and here's when they raised their hands. I was ready for a video. We don't need a video of what happened in Infuge. We need young people who are radically different and on fire for Jesus. That's all the proof we need. We don't need to see the pictures. We don't need to, the dirty clothes, I'm sure, were also proof when you parents washed them. The proof is in the people, and I believe we'll see that. The princes will be praying for the revival here for the young people. And I pray that you adults will come along with them. That's the proof that something happened. So this early church, something happened. Something happened. And they were radically different. And they're walking around just being wild for Jesus Christ. But I wondered, were they introspective? Because you don't really see it. You kind of just see them like, boom, out there, you know, changing the world. What they would have been doing is reading the Old Testament scriptures. I love that. They would have been wrestling and thinking and praying and talking and saying, God, what is my part in building this new world? And so that would have started with introspection. And so we have a simple scripture that you've heard a million times, but I'm going to highlight a couple light. It says here, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. The first step for revival is introspection. And the two words to focus on here are search. And it was a word that was used if miners were searching for gold or if Israelites were searching for new territory. They were searching like their life depended on it. Like not a little devotion in the morning, not 101.5 Christian music as they came through on a Sunday morning, not that kind of searching. I mean, searching like your life depends on it. If you don't show up, I have nothing else. That kind of searching is what the first church was doing. And then they were saying, test me. Test me. What needs to be let go? What needs to come out? What needs to rise? What is my place? What is my message? What is my calling? They were saying, test me, show me, reveal in me anything that is going to keep me from you. And then reveal in me how you want to use me. Test me. Do heart surgery on me as you take me out into this mission. You better believe that that early church was on their knees looking at those Old Testament scriptures, begging God, because the Psalms are the Psalms of that. that's the prayers. That's the way they really prayed. Begging God, search me, test me, and lead me to where you have me. So the first step is very simple. Search me and test me. I have a really great quote about this and what we need to do. There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace and ultimately no life without community. If the revival stays in here, it will die with me. It might go my whole life. But if revival stays here, then it's not done its job. It's not for you. It's not for me. It's for everyone else. But it takes vulnerability. And it takes risk. And so we start there, which is hard, but important. Step two, take initiative. This is a step also. I'm not talking about church, but I love church. Keep going to small group. Keep going to Bible study. Keep going to youth. But start going out into this world. Because this world has an epidemic of loneliness. This world is on fire. This world is in pain. This world is in need. And there are tons of places for you to go into this world and bring the love of God and create a place of belonging. This year, as I wrote my book, I finished my book last year, I was just praying, God, how can I be your hands and feet? How can I go out? What do I have to give? What have I learned that I could share? And at the end of last year, I started at Keller School, this support group of just parents who had kids with special needs or extra needs. And I just said, come once a month, just come and show up. It wasn't Christian. It was just come. We've had it now for almost a year. Every single time people risk, they're vulnerable, they cry out in need every single time. And every single time people risk they're vulnerable they cry out in need every single time and every single time someone shares faith someone shares hope in a real spiritual way because they're sharing what where they are and we're together meeting that need all of us have something to offer someplace Some place we can step out. Some place where we can open up a hand, open up a place where someone can feel not alone. And it takes us going out. And again, the early church did this. Religion was there. The buildings were there. And the early church went out. And you've read this before, but I'm going to highlight one very simple thing. So Acts 2, 41 through 47. You've heard this before so many times. Those who accepted Jesus' message were baptized, and about 3,000 were added to the number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. And it continues. I'm scared I have a different version. I'll keep going. 47 is all we have. I'll keep going. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. I love the early church. And I mean, in COVID, I found myself just, when we couldn't meet, just like, okay, well, what did that look like when they first started gathering? And what they did was they just went. They would gather and they would pray and then they would go and they would gather and they would eat and they would go and they would gather and they would sing and they would go. They were just going and going and going. And as they were going, there were numbers added daily, weekly, monthly, because they were going. I think God is calling us to go. We all have something in our hand. We all have something we've learned. We all have something we care about. Let's go into the world. It could be as simple as my husband this year, he started doing paddle. You don't do that here. It's like squash and tennis together. And we have this cool paddle place near our house. And he's decided I'm going to be a paddle person. This is a place where Casey is bringing the love of Christ, the light of Christ. He's creating community in this place. But it calls us to go and to create something new. A quote here is by a guy named Bell Hooks. One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. I hope you come here and you know that you're not alone, but just know that there are a lot of people that might need to come somewhere else to know they're not alone before they can come here to know that they're not alone. And so God is asking us to go and to create that. Step three, cultivate. Here we go. So now we've been introspective. We know what's in our hand. We know we're going to go out. Now we begin to cultivate koinonia. So this is where we nurture connections. We have places of connection and we nurture, we care for each other, we ask how are you doing, how are you really doing, what do you really need? We really reach out to the people around us, to the people in our community. Through our story with Keller we saw this time and time and time again where people would go out of their way and come into our life in radical ways to love us, to serve us, to care for us. And again, it wasn't because we were deserving of that. It was just what people felt on their heart from God to do. Sometimes I didn't even remember that it happened. People would tell me later as I was writing my book that they came and they served us and they loved us. And this is what was happening in Acts also. As they're continuing to go out, God was beginning to cultivate something really special. Let's look at Acts 4 now. It's continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, bought the money from the sales, and put it to the apostles' feet and was distributed to those who had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas, would be son of encouragement, I'm going to talk about him later, sold a field he owned and bought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. I love this because it is action. It is the church going out. It is the church that starts in here going out in radical ways, in ways no one expected, in ways they weren't being asked to do, and just saying, what can we do? Who can we bring in? Who can we serve? How can we do this differently? That is what church is, and that is cultivating a koinonia that is different and deeper than I think people are used to seeing for the church. I have another verse that I think really highlights this, and this is in Ephesians 4. So this is when Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus, and he's trying to effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. For one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. This is the God that we are seeking, and this is the places we are invited to cultivate. And over and over again in our world, we saw people come into our lives and just cultivate this oneness, cultivate this spirituality, just to say, we are with you. We are walking with you. We believe in you. We are coming alongside. They built church all over our world outside of church. Just one little way that this happened was on Keller's first day of school. So we'd walk a long journey with Keller and we get to his first day of school. I was terrified. I think he was okay, but I was terrified. And I reached out to our good friends who had kids at the school and said, Keller's starting school. Can you just meet us at the gate? And can we just all walk in together? And so his brother and sister, not from us, and his sister all met him there. And we walked into his school together. And it was a sacred moment of koinonia, of shared space, where we knew we were not alone, where Keller knew he was not alone. And he continued then building that throughout his life there. We need action to build koinonia. We need action to go into the world and build what God is asking us to build. I'm going to end this part and then finish with step four with this quote. Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and to know the other. We have to enter in and create sacred places everywhere we are. From a very needy family, I can tell you it's life-changing to know that everywhere you step, when you feel alone, when you feel scared, when you feel uncertain, when people show up as the church around you in a terrifying world, it buoys you with a hope that God is with you. I want to finish with just a fourth question. And that is, who isn't here yet? Who isn't here yet? I used to have dreams before I became a pastor of what the church could look like, more than just the church I had experienced, more than just the people I knew. I wanted diversity, and I wanted different religions, and I wanted people who saw the world differently. I've always been just kind of drawn to that. I've always been drawn to just go as far as I could go and see if something sacred is there. And again, I find that in the New Testament. You know, we know now Paul wrote 14 of the books of the New Testament. When he first came on the scene, everyone knew who he was because he was the one who was persecuting Christians. He was the one speaking out against Christians. He was the one who was the dangerous guy. And even though we have this new religion, we're not too sure about this Paul guy. But there was one person who gave him a chance, and that was Barnabas. In the early church, Barnabas gave Paul a chance and created space for Paul to come in. I want to look at this scripture in Acts 9. It's saying Saul here, Acts 9, starting at the end of 17, at the end of 19, sorry. Saul spent several days with his disciples in Damascus. That's Paul. And once he began to preach in synagogues that Jesus is the son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and asked, isn't that that crazy guy who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call his name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? Yet Saul grew more and more powerful in baffling the Jews, the religious in Damascus, by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. After many days he had gone by, there was a conspiracy against the Jews to kill him. But Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watching the city gates in order to kill him. So it wasn't just a weird guy. It was someone they thought was dangerous to their faith. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. Good friends. When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. This person who had to be given a place at the table because religion didn't accept him, didn't understand him, but he had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This person was given a space by Barnabas and went to the farthest places, the craziest spaces in all of the world to tell people about Jesus Christ. And I want us to ask, as we dream about Koinonia, who is not here yet? Who is not here yet? I love being here and seeing so many familiar faces, but God has churned in my heart this question over and over again, especially being in South Africa. Who is not at the table yet? Who is not in the doors yet? Who has not heard of Jesus yet? That is where we really begin to cultivate koinonia and the second part, where we begin to operate as oracles. And it's simply in this verse of Peter 4.11. This is my last verse. And it says in Peter 4 11, if anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ to him be the glory and the power forever and ever. In other versions, it says that, as they, it says they should speak. It speaks of being an oracle. So if Jesus was the word, he then asked us to be the words of God. That's what an oracle means. That we would live as the words of God. And I want to encourage you that the way that we do this is go into places, exist in places where God isn't as clear yet, where God isn't always present in the way we're used to seeing him. As I said, I always prayed about this idea of being around people of other faiths, of other nations, of other backgrounds. And through Keller, who this book is about, he has brought us these friends who are the weirdest people you have ever met. And they are every religion. We say that we're a big joke because it's me, I'm a pastor, and they call me Pastor Prince, and then there's a Wiccan, and there's a Jew, and there is a Buddhist, and there's an agnostic, and there's just our friend Lisa. And so we are like this tribe. And we have a WhatsApp group, and it's called Pastor Prince's Free Range Women. And we are this weird tribe of people. And within this tribe, something holy happens. learned years ago this this idea called holy envy that you go to other people not to tell them what's right and they're wrong not to just change them but you just talk you just open up and you see where something holy is within them something sacred is within them and so now with this group of women, we have had many, many, many holy places. Even in just this past year, the agnostic couple, I married them in December and they were very happy for me to talk about Jesus as I was there officiant. My Jewish friend Emma, her mom died also in December. She asked me to spread the ashes and do a ceremony for her. And my Wiccan friend, her mom has Alzheimer's and she's slowly leaving this earth. And she has asked me to pastor her mom and to pastor her and to do the sermon and the service when her mom passes. And they asked me to tell their kids about Jesus because there's something about that Jesus and there's something about you guys and there's something here. And I ask about Buddhism. And I ask about the Wiccan faith. And I ask about the Jewish faith. But I know that within me is an oracle. And coming from me is an oracle. Not because I'm special. But because God is within me. And the scripture says we have the hope of glory within us. So we can go anywhere. We don't have to fear that our light will be diluted. We don't have to fear that our God will be tamed. We don't have to wonder if he will fully reign because he will forever and ever reign through Jesus Christ our Lord. But we are invited to go into the world as oracles and bring that light to all the places that are needed, and that's everywhere. God is saying go into the schools as oracles. Go into your workplace as oracles. Go into your home and your family as oracles. Be a light from within with what God has done within your heart. Nothing can diminish that. That's what I love again about the early church, and I'll finish here. The early church went into all these places, and they kept saying, you're wrong. We're going to kill you. That can't be. This Jesus can't be. And they said it again and again, all I can say is this Jesus who I've met is my king, and he's my Lord. And nothing could diminish that. One of my heroes in life is Desmond Tutu, and he says this, that we must be ready to learn from one another, not pretending that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God. Because here's what I'm learning. God is bigger and he's greater and he's more profound than what we think. And we have a broken world that's in desperate need of this God and this light and this community. But we need to dream differently and we need to see differently. We need to go differently. We need to cultivate koinonia and we need to operate as oracles. So I want to end here. What do you dream? Coming to America, people are always asking us like, what do you think? And what's your perspective? And what do you think's going on? I don't want to look at what I see. I want to look at what God still needs and what God still wants to do and what God wants to create. And again, that's what Kyle did this morning in just a few moments. We could have left after that. God is ready for us to dream about places of koinonia and us operating as oracles in a world that is in desperate need of his light and his love. So I want to invite us to dream what that could look like and see that revival that Kyle's talking about in all the places that need it most. Let's pray. God, I thank you that you are a great God, that you are not limited to our words or our songs or our prayers or how we've seen you before. God, you are greater. And I pray, God, that you would move within us to help us to dream of a new community, of new closeness, of a new connection, of new light, of new love. And help us to be your oracles. Help us to be as the early church who was pushing farther and farther to tell people of the love of you, Jesus Christ. May we not hold back in what we know you can do and how we know we can shine your light all over the world. We love you, God. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
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Good morning, Grace. While you guys are watching this video, I'll be on a plane to Ethiopia with some other people from Grace to support our team working in Addis Jamari over there. This morning, we have a special guest, Sarah Prince. She and her husband, Casey, have come over with Kieran and Keller, their children. They're based in Cape Town, South Africa. Years ago, Casey and Sarah were on staff here at Grace back in the old days, and then we had the privilege of sending them over there to be missionaries in South Africa, where they work with a football team called Ubuntu and are involved in their community in many other ways. So this morning, Sarah is going to come share with us a really important message from her heart, and I'm excited for all of us to get to hear from her. Good morning. Good morning, Grace Raleigh. It's so good to be here. It's so good to see your faces. Many of you I know, and it's such a privilege to be here again. We were a part of Grace when it was over there. There, there, there, there. Yep, that way. And for many years, we served at Grace. I was an associate pastor. My husband was a youth pastor. And then this church community sent us 14 years ago, almost 15, if you can believe it, out into South Africa to do ministry. I have a picture of our family, if you haven't seen them walking around. My daughter, Kieran, is in kids ministry now because she loves the kids. That's Keller. And that's my handsome husband, Casey. Behind us is the street where we live. And we will be going back there tomorrow. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. I'm so grateful to be here. And I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about all the other stuff that we do. But I did bring a few copies of my book. And I also have a few postcards. If you don't know us, I'm so excited to meet you. And we have some postcards and some... Can you help me put these out, Casey? He's already on his phone. Can you help me just set... Oh, he's taking notes. Okay. There's four points. That's all you have to know. But then can you just set those out? When you're done. Before, in the next 30 minutes. So we have some postcards and some info about our family if you don't know anything about us, but many of you do. And I just want to say, I was just chatting with someone outside and they were saying, I can't remember when you guys met and I can't believe this is happening. And you know, it's so crazy that you did this. And we always say the reason that we could risk what we do in South Africa is because we have this community to come back to. We've kind of like played, I don't know, poker, but like played all the cards or the chips or the things. And I'm a big gambler. So we gambled all the gambling stuff and we've just put it into South Africa. But we always know we have this community here that loves us, that supports us. And then we can always come home to. So we thank you for your love and support. But that's not what I want to talk about today. So I've been wrestling with something lately. This is the first time in a very long time that I have something that God is showing me, and then I'm like, okay, but God, where is that in Scripture? Usually I'm like really big into the Bible, and I'm like digging, and then that's the thing I want to focus on. But today with this topic, I've come to God curious. God, what is this thing that you've done in our world? Because in 14 years in South Africa, we have built a ministry called Ubuntu Football, where now we've sent 24 young men to America to study, one of who's here, hey-o. And we have a bunch of young men who are playing professionally, a bunch of young men who are studying in South Africa, a bunch of young men who are beginning their lives as incredible men. One of them is my son's soccer coach at his school. It's really beautiful. But as we've done all these other things, God has given us this very rich and vibrant community. This very unique group of people. Kind of different pockets of people that are very strange and very unique and very fun and very sacred. And so I've started to ask God, what is that? One story that highlights the weirdness of our community comes with a cake. So I have a cake here. Our son was diagnosed with autism how many years ago now? He is 12, so about 10 years ago. And we're in the community of South Africa as this happens, not even knowing what autism is about. That's what my book is about, Anguish to Awakening, our journey with Keller, my journey. And I have this group of friends. And I think we got a diagnosis. And maybe the next day, I was at the gym. And I ran into Kate. And she's like, oh, how are you? And I was like, I'm, you know, and I just cried at the gym and told her what happened, and we had this group of women friends, and so she sat with me, she prayed with me, and then maybe a week or two later, she said, we want to get together with you. Come over this night. I show up at her house, and this is the cake for me, and she said, we can do hard things together, and so we're celebrating that. We're at the beginning of a very hard thing, and we will do it together with you. And they had this like key chain thing with quotes and cards, and they just sat with me and cried with me. And I look back at that, think that is so unique to enter into a really difficult time and have people come and just say, we're here in the hard. We're not here for the highlights. We're not here for the good times. We're here now, today, in the hard. And it struck me as so unique. And we've had these kinds of times, these kinds of instances over and over again. And I need to admit that it's not because we're so great at friendship or that we're so great at bringing people around. I think it's a God-given gift. And I think there are some things that God has taught us along the way to help cultivate that community. That's the title today. I can't have a simple, I kept, community doesn't work, initiating community, it's not rich enough. So today's title is Cultivating Koinonia and Orating as Oracles. Because sometimes American or English words don't do it justice. And I want to talk about this. What does it mean to cultivate not just community, not just friends, koinonia, I'll explain that, and how do we operate as oracles? Because I think that's where something happens. You know, I grew up all over the country. I moved a lot. And so only when I became a young adult, I got married, like right after college, three weeks. Don't recommend it, young people. It's worked out, 22 years. But it was crazy. So I jumped into adulthood, went to seminary to become a pastor, and all of a sudden realized many things. Another sermon. But one of them was that I had no idea how to make friends. But I thought I didn't need them. I thought I was like, fine. I was just happy. I was just doing my thing. I was just bebopping around. And I started to realize I needed friends. And it was in this church that I learned the power of friendship and koinonia. We used to have a retreat. Anyone go to koinonia? Koinonia. Yeah. See? We had this retreat and I was dragged to it. Okay, fine. I'll go because I'm like a pastor or whatever. And it was this beautiful time of friendship and connection. And through this place, I learned the importance, the need of koinonia. But you know, a lot of people have never learned this. They've never been in environments where this is pushed, where this is elevated, where this is celebrated. There's lots of statistics on this, but three decades ago, there was a poll that said 3% of Americans had no close friends. 2021, 12% had no close friends. Into the pandemic, 13% of women, 8% of men had lost touch with most of their friends. This is something happening a lot more. Nowadays, some 8% will say they have no friends at all. This is something that's been talked about here. I didn't hear about this because we're in Africa, and in Africa things are done a bit differently. But there's actually a pandemic, an epidemic of loneliness. It's everywhere. And that's a word that just means you're disconnected. You don't have people. You're not anchored. You're not moored by others. And you're just kind of wandering. And it's actually celebrated here. It's just kind of how we do things here. And actually, this epidemic, the Surgeon General says that it affects one out of two adults. And it doesn't just help your mood. It's about your entire body, your entire health. It actually predicts the longevity of your life if you're lonely or if you have people around you. And so when the Surgeon General went around the states, some of the things that he heard were people would tell me all again and again. They felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant. And they said, if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice. Now, if this doesn't feel a bit familiar, I'm glad you're here because I have a job for you. Some of us just have people around and we don't know how we did it or why it was given to us. For us, we were just super needy and having a child with autism was one of the big things. We just kind of were like, we're broken, help us. And people came around us, which is what I talk about in the book. But I think most people don't display their need in the way that our family did. We were very vocal about it. But if you feel like you have close community, if you don't know what loneliness feels like, then great. I have a job for you. Because many people feel very, very lonely. Many people feel very, very isolated. All over the world, people are saying that they want community. They want friendship. They want that in their world, but they don't know how to find it. All community is is a sense of belonging, support, shared purpose. And it's a place where the church should be leading. We've got this whole book that is people that did it. I mean, they fought a lot, and they killed each other some, and it was messy, but like they did it. This is the book about it, and yet we are doing it poorly at times. We have a friend who grew up, he grew up doing, his family was doing missions, their South African family, and he is South African, but has moved to New Zealand. He just recently flew from New Zealand to Amsterdam for what? Does anyone know who was in Amsterdam recently? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. He has a beautiful family. He's very connected. But people all over the globe have been traveling in the, I don't even know, the millions, the trillions, to see this woman sing songs. Now, I hear, I know every song because of my daughter. I know every word. I know every syllable. They're good. They're fine. They're good. They're good. They're good. They're good. Did I say they were good? That is not why people are going to this concert. They are going because people have over and over and over said something like this. Entering the Erez tour was like stepping into an alternate universe where everyone was bursting with joy. I've never encountered such a warm, friendly, and kind crowd. People have called it transcendental. And it embodies love to people all over the world. It's not about the songs. It's this feeling thousands of people have when they're together. They're connected. They're a community. They're being seen and known. Now, I'm not asking any of you to be Taylor Swift, the next one, although my daughter might be. But I don't think we need a concert to create the sacred art of connection. It can happen anywhere. And God shows us how to do it. And it is a word that's more than community. It is that word koinonia in the New Testament. It's roughly translated fellowship, but it means to share together, to take part. And the same idea is found in another Greek word. That's metakos. And it means to have with or to have together. Now, I'm using sacred New Testament words to describe what those people are saying about Taylor Swift. And what I know God is desperate for people to describe about us. And again, if you don't know the feeling of loneliness, then it is your time. If you do, then I'm here to give you hope. Because it is possible among every single one of us. Being here in South Africa has highlighted to me not how special we are as a family to do what we do, but how God is really great because this group of idiots is running this incredible organization in South Africa because it's God's mission, it's God's dream, it's God's plan, and even we can't stop it with all of our fumbles and our foils and our missteps. When God has a plan, he will use the best of us and the worst of us. His plan is to be together. So I have four, I don't have a pamphlet, I'm from Africa. I don't have a pamphlet, but I do have four very simple points. If you're saying, I don't have that. I have people around, but I don't have a deep connection. Or if you're saying, I have it. This is for you. Because it's time to step into something sacred, something real. And none of my examples, I'm going to tell some stories, not a single one is a Bible study. I have the best Bible study. I want to start there. I have the best Bible study. There are these women, and my sister was just in South Africa, and she was with them. There are these beautiful women that I've known for years and years, and we get together, and we cry, and we laugh, and we pray, and we scream out to God, and it is holy. None of these examples are going to be a church or a Bible study because I want to inspire you to dream of where the church could go beyond this. This is holy, but that world needs this sacred thing. So I want you to dream. Okay, so step one. Step one of creating, cultivating koinonia. We'll end with orating as oracles, but cultivating koinonia. And actually cultivating is step three. So you're not ready for the first letter of this sermon. You ready? Step one, introspection. This sounds so simple, but it is so profound. We went to South Africa to help everyone and to save everyone and to do all the great things for Jesus. And then a few years in, we had a son who was diagnosed with autism. And we were like, no, God, not the plan. We're doing some other stuff. We have a lot to do. We have a big plan. We have a big mission. We're going to serve for Jesus. This has happened time and time again to me. It even happened recently where we have a plan and then God says, no, this is a plan. But we were in desperate need. We didn't even know what autism meant. We had to Google it as we started our journey. But this is the first step of community. It isn't creating a Bible study. It isn't finding people to play pickleball with. The first step is introspection. The first step is what is my need? What is happening in here? Number one, introspection. This came through hardship for us. But as we've walked through that hardship, we've had to be really honest. What is it that we need in a community? Who do we need around us? What does it mean to raise kids and to do this life with people in our world? What does that look like? And we've had to be very introspective. This is something people are talking about, not just Taylor Swift people, but all over the world. I recently heard an interview with this woman, Priya Parker. She wrote this book called The Art of Gathering. So I would have thought, I would never picked up this book. I would have thought it's been about like dinner parties, which I love, or like how to host something cute or how to find the Pinterest board. But for her, The Art of Gathering starts with assessing your needs. Because you cannot create a gathering of people where you are authentically a part if you don't know what it is you need in that group. Creating community begins with your own needs. What is my need here? How am I actually feeling? What do I need from other people? That sounds selfish, sounds maybe anti-Christian, but it's true because if I'm going to authentically show up, that means my needs are going to show up. My desires are going to show up. My dreams are going to show up. My brokenness is going to show up. So I need to show up first with my true self, not who I think I should be, not who I want to be, not how I want to save the world. Again, read Sarah and Casey's whole story. Me, just me. And so that starts with being honest. And as I've wrestled with this idea and asked God, where is this in scripture? I've gone to the early church, but I want to start with what I believe maybe the early church was praying. So in Acts, you see the early church and they are wrestling. There are these, talk about misfits. They were running around with Jesus, getting it all wrong, being on the top, being on the bottom, just being a mess. I love them. And then Jesus got killed on the cross. They all went in hiding. They were scared. They were confused. They were doubting. They were a mess. And then he comes back. He rises and boom, everything changes. What's fun about studying the Bible, this part of the Bible, is there is no proof that he rose. You have an empty grave. You have someone who people said they saw, and then he was gone. But here's the proof. Is this group of people something happened in? I love what Kyle was sharing about what is going to happen now with the youth. We don't need to know what happened at Infuge, although I was ready for like a video of like, Infuge, it was so cool, and here's the water slide, and here's when they raised their hands. I was ready for a video. We don't need a video of what happened in Infuge. We need young people who are radically different and on fire for Jesus. That's all the proof we need. We don't need to see the pictures. We don't need to, the dirty clothes, I'm sure, were also proof when you parents washed them. The proof is in the people, and I believe we'll see that. The princes will be praying for the revival here for the young people. And I pray that you adults will come along with them. That's the proof that something happened. So this early church, something happened. Something happened. And they were radically different. And they're walking around just being wild for Jesus Christ. But I wondered, were they introspective? Because you don't really see it. You kind of just see them like, boom, out there, you know, changing the world. What they would have been doing is reading the Old Testament scriptures. I love that. They would have been wrestling and thinking and praying and talking and saying, God, what is my part in building this new world? And so that would have started with introspection. And so we have a simple scripture that you've heard a million times, but I'm going to highlight a couple light. It says here, search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. The first step for revival is introspection. And the two words to focus on here are search. And it was a word that was used if miners were searching for gold or if Israelites were searching for new territory. They were searching like their life depended on it. Like not a little devotion in the morning, not 101.5 Christian music as they came through on a Sunday morning, not that kind of searching. I mean, searching like your life depends on it. If you don't show up, I have nothing else. That kind of searching is what the first church was doing. And then they were saying, test me. Test me. What needs to be let go? What needs to come out? What needs to rise? What is my place? What is my message? What is my calling? They were saying, test me, show me, reveal in me anything that is going to keep me from you. And then reveal in me how you want to use me. Test me. Do heart surgery on me as you take me out into this mission. You better believe that that early church was on their knees looking at those Old Testament scriptures, begging God, because the Psalms are the Psalms of that. that's the prayers. That's the way they really prayed. Begging God, search me, test me, and lead me to where you have me. So the first step is very simple. Search me and test me. I have a really great quote about this and what we need to do. There can be no vulnerability without risk. There can be no community without vulnerability. There can be no peace and ultimately no life without community. If the revival stays in here, it will die with me. It might go my whole life. But if revival stays here, then it's not done its job. It's not for you. It's not for me. It's for everyone else. But it takes vulnerability. And it takes risk. And so we start there, which is hard, but important. Step two, take initiative. This is a step also. I'm not talking about church, but I love church. Keep going to small group. Keep going to Bible study. Keep going to youth. But start going out into this world. Because this world has an epidemic of loneliness. This world is on fire. This world is in pain. This world is in need. And there are tons of places for you to go into this world and bring the love of God and create a place of belonging. This year, as I wrote my book, I finished my book last year, I was just praying, God, how can I be your hands and feet? How can I go out? What do I have to give? What have I learned that I could share? And at the end of last year, I started at Keller School, this support group of just parents who had kids with special needs or extra needs. And I just said, come once a month, just come and show up. It wasn't Christian. It was just come. We've had it now for almost a year. Every single time people risk, they're vulnerable, they cry out in need every single time. And every single time people risk they're vulnerable they cry out in need every single time and every single time someone shares faith someone shares hope in a real spiritual way because they're sharing what where they are and we're together meeting that need all of us have something to offer someplace Some place we can step out. Some place where we can open up a hand, open up a place where someone can feel not alone. And it takes us going out. And again, the early church did this. Religion was there. The buildings were there. And the early church went out. And you've read this before, but I'm going to highlight one very simple thing. So Acts 2, 41 through 47. You've heard this before so many times. Those who accepted Jesus' message were baptized, and about 3,000 were added to the number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. And it continues. I'm scared I have a different version. I'll keep going. 47 is all we have. I'll keep going. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. I love the early church. And I mean, in COVID, I found myself just, when we couldn't meet, just like, okay, well, what did that look like when they first started gathering? And what they did was they just went. They would gather and they would pray and then they would go and they would gather and they would eat and they would go and they would gather and they would sing and they would go. They were just going and going and going. And as they were going, there were numbers added daily, weekly, monthly, because they were going. I think God is calling us to go. We all have something in our hand. We all have something we've learned. We all have something we care about. Let's go into the world. It could be as simple as my husband this year, he started doing paddle. You don't do that here. It's like squash and tennis together. And we have this cool paddle place near our house. And he's decided I'm going to be a paddle person. This is a place where Casey is bringing the love of Christ, the light of Christ. He's creating community in this place. But it calls us to go and to create something new. A quote here is by a guy named Bell Hooks. One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance, places where we know we are not alone. I hope you come here and you know that you're not alone, but just know that there are a lot of people that might need to come somewhere else to know they're not alone before they can come here to know that they're not alone. And so God is asking us to go and to create that. Step three, cultivate. Here we go. So now we've been introspective. We know what's in our hand. We know we're going to go out. Now we begin to cultivate koinonia. So this is where we nurture connections. We have places of connection and we nurture, we care for each other, we ask how are you doing, how are you really doing, what do you really need? We really reach out to the people around us, to the people in our community. Through our story with Keller we saw this time and time and time again where people would go out of their way and come into our life in radical ways to love us, to serve us, to care for us. And again, it wasn't because we were deserving of that. It was just what people felt on their heart from God to do. Sometimes I didn't even remember that it happened. People would tell me later as I was writing my book that they came and they served us and they loved us. And this is what was happening in Acts also. As they're continuing to go out, God was beginning to cultivate something really special. Let's look at Acts 4 now. It's continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time, those who owned land or houses sold them, bought the money from the sales, and put it to the apostles' feet and was distributed to those who had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas, would be son of encouragement, I'm going to talk about him later, sold a field he owned and bought the money and put it at the apostles' feet. I love this because it is action. It is the church going out. It is the church that starts in here going out in radical ways, in ways no one expected, in ways they weren't being asked to do, and just saying, what can we do? Who can we bring in? Who can we serve? How can we do this differently? That is what church is, and that is cultivating a koinonia that is different and deeper than I think people are used to seeing for the church. I have another verse that I think really highlights this, and this is in Ephesians 4. So this is when Paul is writing to the church in Ephesus, and he's trying to effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called. For one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. This is the God that we are seeking, and this is the places we are invited to cultivate. And over and over again in our world, we saw people come into our lives and just cultivate this oneness, cultivate this spirituality, just to say, we are with you. We are walking with you. We believe in you. We are coming alongside. They built church all over our world outside of church. Just one little way that this happened was on Keller's first day of school. So we'd walk a long journey with Keller and we get to his first day of school. I was terrified. I think he was okay, but I was terrified. And I reached out to our good friends who had kids at the school and said, Keller's starting school. Can you just meet us at the gate? And can we just all walk in together? And so his brother and sister, not from us, and his sister all met him there. And we walked into his school together. And it was a sacred moment of koinonia, of shared space, where we knew we were not alone, where Keller knew he was not alone. And he continued then building that throughout his life there. We need action to build koinonia. We need action to go into the world and build what God is asking us to build. I'm going to end this part and then finish with step four with this quote. Some people think they are in community, but they are only in proximity. True community requires commitment and openness. It is a willingness to extend yourself to encounter and to know the other. We have to enter in and create sacred places everywhere we are. From a very needy family, I can tell you it's life-changing to know that everywhere you step, when you feel alone, when you feel scared, when you feel uncertain, when people show up as the church around you in a terrifying world, it buoys you with a hope that God is with you. I want to finish with just a fourth question. And that is, who isn't here yet? Who isn't here yet? I used to have dreams before I became a pastor of what the church could look like, more than just the church I had experienced, more than just the people I knew. I wanted diversity, and I wanted different religions, and I wanted people who saw the world differently. I've always been just kind of drawn to that. I've always been drawn to just go as far as I could go and see if something sacred is there. And again, I find that in the New Testament. You know, we know now Paul wrote 14 of the books of the New Testament. When he first came on the scene, everyone knew who he was because he was the one who was persecuting Christians. He was the one speaking out against Christians. He was the one who was the dangerous guy. And even though we have this new religion, we're not too sure about this Paul guy. But there was one person who gave him a chance, and that was Barnabas. In the early church, Barnabas gave Paul a chance and created space for Paul to come in. I want to look at this scripture in Acts 9. It's saying Saul here, Acts 9, starting at the end of 17, at the end of 19, sorry. Saul spent several days with his disciples in Damascus. That's Paul. And once he began to preach in synagogues that Jesus is the son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and asked, isn't that that crazy guy who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call his name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? Yet Saul grew more and more powerful in baffling the Jews, the religious in Damascus, by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. After many days he had gone by, there was a conspiracy against the Jews to kill him. But Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watching the city gates in order to kill him. So it wasn't just a weird guy. It was someone they thought was dangerous to their faith. But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. Good friends. When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. This person who had to be given a place at the table because religion didn't accept him, didn't understand him, but he had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This person was given a space by Barnabas and went to the farthest places, the craziest spaces in all of the world to tell people about Jesus Christ. And I want us to ask, as we dream about Koinonia, who is not here yet? Who is not here yet? I love being here and seeing so many familiar faces, but God has churned in my heart this question over and over again, especially being in South Africa. Who is not at the table yet? Who is not in the doors yet? Who has not heard of Jesus yet? That is where we really begin to cultivate koinonia and the second part, where we begin to operate as oracles. And it's simply in this verse of Peter 4.11. This is my last verse. And it says in Peter 4 11, if anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised through Jesus Christ to him be the glory and the power forever and ever. In other versions, it says that, as they, it says they should speak. It speaks of being an oracle. So if Jesus was the word, he then asked us to be the words of God. That's what an oracle means. That we would live as the words of God. And I want to encourage you that the way that we do this is go into places, exist in places where God isn't as clear yet, where God isn't always present in the way we're used to seeing him. As I said, I always prayed about this idea of being around people of other faiths, of other nations, of other backgrounds. And through Keller, who this book is about, he has brought us these friends who are the weirdest people you have ever met. And they are every religion. We say that we're a big joke because it's me, I'm a pastor, and they call me Pastor Prince, and then there's a Wiccan, and there's a Jew, and there is a Buddhist, and there's an agnostic, and there's just our friend Lisa. And so we are like this tribe. And we have a WhatsApp group, and it's called Pastor Prince's Free Range Women. And we are this weird tribe of people. And within this tribe, something holy happens. learned years ago this this idea called holy envy that you go to other people not to tell them what's right and they're wrong not to just change them but you just talk you just open up and you see where something holy is within them something sacred is within them and so now with this group of women, we have had many, many, many holy places. Even in just this past year, the agnostic couple, I married them in December and they were very happy for me to talk about Jesus as I was there officiant. My Jewish friend Emma, her mom died also in December. She asked me to spread the ashes and do a ceremony for her. And my Wiccan friend, her mom has Alzheimer's and she's slowly leaving this earth. And she has asked me to pastor her mom and to pastor her and to do the sermon and the service when her mom passes. And they asked me to tell their kids about Jesus because there's something about that Jesus and there's something about you guys and there's something here. And I ask about Buddhism. And I ask about the Wiccan faith. And I ask about the Jewish faith. But I know that within me is an oracle. And coming from me is an oracle. Not because I'm special. But because God is within me. And the scripture says we have the hope of glory within us. So we can go anywhere. We don't have to fear that our light will be diluted. We don't have to fear that our God will be tamed. We don't have to wonder if he will fully reign because he will forever and ever reign through Jesus Christ our Lord. But we are invited to go into the world as oracles and bring that light to all the places that are needed, and that's everywhere. God is saying go into the schools as oracles. Go into your workplace as oracles. Go into your home and your family as oracles. Be a light from within with what God has done within your heart. Nothing can diminish that. That's what I love again about the early church, and I'll finish here. The early church went into all these places, and they kept saying, you're wrong. We're going to kill you. That can't be. This Jesus can't be. And they said it again and again, all I can say is this Jesus who I've met is my king, and he's my Lord. And nothing could diminish that. One of my heroes in life is Desmond Tutu, and he says this, that we must be ready to learn from one another, not pretending that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God. Because here's what I'm learning. God is bigger and he's greater and he's more profound than what we think. And we have a broken world that's in desperate need of this God and this light and this community. But we need to dream differently and we need to see differently. We need to go differently. We need to cultivate koinonia and we need to operate as oracles. So I want to end here. What do you dream? Coming to America, people are always asking us like, what do you think? And what's your perspective? And what do you think's going on? I don't want to look at what I see. I want to look at what God still needs and what God still wants to do and what God wants to create. And again, that's what Kyle did this morning in just a few moments. We could have left after that. God is ready for us to dream about places of koinonia and us operating as oracles in a world that is in desperate need of his light and his love. So I want to invite us to dream what that could look like and see that revival that Kyle's talking about in all the places that need it most. Let's pray. God, I thank you that you are a great God, that you are not limited to our words or our songs or our prayers or how we've seen you before. God, you are greater. And I pray, God, that you would move within us to help us to dream of a new community, of new closeness, of a new connection, of new light, of new love. And help us to be your oracles. Help us to be as the early church who was pushing farther and farther to tell people of the love of you, Jesus Christ. May we not hold back in what we know you can do and how we know we can shine your light all over the world. We love you, God. It's in your name we pray. Amen.
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Good morning. Grace, I would just like to point out that I'm the guy who fixed the sound. Let's pray and go home. I think we can leave on that one. Actually, and I fixed it by doing absolutely nothing. That's what happens a lot of times, right? Like you go try to fix somebody, somebody asks a question, and you just act like you do something. It's like, thanks, man. You know so much about everything. Hey, I'm so glad that you are here and you decided to join us this morning if you're new. My name is Aaron. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Thank you for choosing to come to church instead of asking your wife if you could stay home and watch the U.S. Open. Jesus does love you more for that. I'm just kidding. He doesn't. I know some of you. Hey, we are in the third week of a series called Idols. And just to kind of set us up, kind of get us moving in the direction we're heading this morning. So you've got like the US Open, right? Very prestigious event, great golfers and all that. Then there's another event that's really close to it. It's the Grace Raleigh Golf Tournament. It's same prestige, same level of competition, same caliber of players and we had it back April, but nobody signed up. So what we did instead, we actually, there was like 16 people who signed up to be a part of it. So we quickly veered away from like tournament and we said, okay, so what we're going to do instead is just give whoever wants to play a reason to take Monday off and go play golf and hang out with one another, right? And so I just want to be very open and honest. I am, I'm not a good golfer, okay? And because of that, like, I don't typically sign up to be a part of stuff like that because I don't need you to see and remind me that I'm not a good golfer. Like, I'm learning. I love to play. I play often. I'm just not playing well. So I typically avoid stuff like that. But I look through the list. I look through the roster, and I was like, okay, I may not be the worst one there. I was. I was the worst one there. Absolutely. And I can tell you, there's proof that I was the worst one there. So what happens is as soon as you pull up, we were at Zebulon Country Club. If you've ever played there, you'll know what I'm talking about. You pull into the parking lot, and immediately atop of a conversation is the ninth hole, right? Because as you go to park, like some people will remind you and like warn you, hey, listen, you see that? There's a tee box right there. Like it's really close. The green is really close to the parking lot. It's really close to the clubhouse. And you don't want to park there because some idiot's going to hit the ball too far. It hit a car. You don't let it be your car, right? And so immediately what happens is you, okay, yeah, let me move. Like I'm going to go somewhere else. then we went. We played the eight holes, and I played terribly. Like there's all this added pressure, which is dumb. I'm not a good golfer. Everyone knows I'm not a good golfer. Why do I feel like I have to play like a good golfer? That's another reason. If you play golf and not well, why do you get so mad that you're not playing? What do you expect to happen? So we go through the entire eight holes or we go through eight holes. Then we get up to nine and then you start thinking about the parking lot again. Right? Well, I start thinking about the parking lot again. When I went up to the tee box, what was going through my mind was not, hey, there's a sand trap just in front of the green. Make sure, play the left side. I don't think, hey, you know what? I want to hit this in the back of the green and make it spin. I don't even know how to make the ball spin. I don't know if it does spin when I hit it. I have no clue. So that's not what going through my mind is. I line up to hit the ball. What I start thinking about is, don't be the idiot who hits a car. Like, don't be that guy. And I take my backswing, and I come through, and man, y'all, I blade it. Like, it's just, I hit it, and it just rockets towards the parking lot. Not just towards the parking lot, towards the Mercedes flipping bins, okay? Now, was anybody here? Did anybody go? Dude, either of you drive a Mercedes. Because if you do, this was going to have a very different ending. Like, it went past the Mercedes. There was this banged-up truck. I hit that thing. But no, so as you can figure out by now, like it went straight. I'm telling you, like everything got real. It was movie type slow motion. You know what I mean? Like I could see which way the blades of grass were going. There was a groundskeeper. He was in the sand. He just watched it. Uh-oh. It just looked. And then I'm telling y'all, like it was the loudest bang I've ever heard in my life. It sounded like this dude's ex-wife was really, really mad, found a sledgehammer in his car, and went to work. It was so loud, and everything in me just sank. I was like, oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. For one, the first thought was, my wife is never going to let me play golf again. I just played an $80,000 round of golf at a mediocre golf course. What kind of, I'm the idiot that everyone's thinking about. And then my second thought was, I have people with me. Like they all saw that I'm the idiot who hit the car on the other side of the green at Zebulon Country Club, right? And so I turn around, I'm like, well, maybe,, there's this idea of, okay, I'm one of their pastors. Which I am, by the way, if you didn't know that up to this point. But I'm one of their pastors. Maybe I'll turn around and there'll be some grace and some kindness. Here's what I. That's what the heck I turned around to. That was just that exact noise. No, I'm telling you. There's a guy. I'm not going to. We share the same first name, Carly Buchanan. It's his husband. You don't need to know the rest of it. But I turn around, and here's what I see. Like, he's laughing so flipping hard. Like, he can't even control his shoulders. I'm like, are you, you're a jerk face. And then I said, okay, well, there's still two others. And I look and there's another guy swinging a golf club. Just, oh, let me act like I don't see anything. But still there's a single shoulder. He's not as big. I'm like, are you kidding? There's one other guy. And I look over to him and his face is like this because I'm on his team. And he's like, we can't use that ball. I gotta, I gotta show up now and do something really good. Right. And I'm like,, my, this is the worst day ever. Okay, so immediately I start going into damage control. How do I make sure nobody else finds out? And about that time, the little golf club swinging guy, he yells out to people on another hole. He hit the Mercedes. I'm like, are you kidding me? Listen, I'm not joking about this. Two weeks later, two weeks later, we were at the AJ event. I think it was two weeks. Anyway, it was a couple weeks later. Somebody came up to me who wasn't even at the golf course and said, hey, I heard about the ninth hole. Dude didn't even go to our church. I'm like, are you kidding me? And the entire time I'm thinking, everybody knows I'm the idiot who hit the car. Not just a car. It was a Mercedes. And, like, everything that was the reason that I don't go get involved in stuff like this. Now, we did go. We went and we really looked over the car pretty well, make sure there was no dings or anything like that. And there was at some point the guys that were there with me, they tried to start consoling, except for the one jerk face whose shoulders are going like that. Like everybody was like, hey, don't, Aaron, it's all right, buddy. Like it happens. They certainly have to take a little bit of accountability. Like when you park there, like you knew there was going to be an idiot. You didn't know you were going to be the idiot, but like you knew there was a possibility. So they started to give some comfort, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, like there was just this overwhelming overwhelming sense of not good enough, and everybody knows it now. Like, there was this overwhelming sense of everyone sees that I don't belong here. I don't belong at this tournament. I don't belong being here. Like, there's nothing about it. And fortunately, these guys came, they consoled, and then I do just want to say, like, I piped the next drive, right? Like, it looked really, really, so much so that the greenskeeper who watched it go like this, he was like, that wasn't the same guy who hit the bins, was it? I was like, shut up, dude. So, but there was this sense and this need, this overwhelming awareness where I was different. I didn't belong in that place. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt the not good enoughness? Have you ever felt like your weakness, your insecurity, all the things that you're worried about? Everybody kind of sees. And maybe it's just not a weakness, but maybe it's just a difference that someone else doesn't approve of. Maybe you feel it when mom-in-law or dad-in-law or mom or dad come to the house, and suddenly they start looking at everything, and you know there's going to be some criticisms. You know where they're going to say, hey, you should really do this different. You know they're going to say, you're not raising your kids right. I didn't let you do that. You've got to do this differently. Maybe it's in co-working world, right, or with your boss, or maybe it's whenever you go with a group of moms, and all the moms seem like they have houses that kids don't live in, right? Like it just, there's this overwhelming sense and awareness of different. Don't belong. Not good enough. And there's this pressure that in order for you to accept me and to like me, to approve of me, I have to become who it is that you want me to be. Not good enough. It's a powerful motivator. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. I have. And that's what we're talking about today. We started a couple weeks ago a new series, as Aaron was saying a little earlier, called Idols. And essentially what an idol is, an idol is anything that we elevate to a position of authority in our life. It could be anything at all. But I love what St. Augustine says about it. He says that the matter, the challenge, the problem, the difficulty with living the holy lives that we want to live is a matter of disordered love. It's loving things out of their appropriate order. That's not just a Christian thing. That's a human thing, right? Well, whatever's at the top of your list, whether it's a person, whether it's a thing, that's what's going to call the shots in your life. That's idolatry. Whatever is at the top of the list is going to determine the steps that you take because we shape our lives around pleasing that person or attaining that thing. And Nate talked with us last week. I don't know why I pointed over there. He's not over there. Nate talked with us last week about power and how when power becomes something that becomes the ultimate thing, it just rattles everything and how it destroys relationships. If you missed it, you can check it out online. Go and listen to that. Today, we're talking about approval. And I know the thought, I know the argument. You may have even had someone who leaned over to you and said, I really don't care what people think about me. Yes, you do. Because you wouldn't have said that if you didn't want us to think you were cool for saying it, right? Approval is not a bad thing. And approval, I wouldn't even say is a desire so much as it is a need. A need for approval comes from an awareness of self. A need for approval comes from this awareness of that I'm not perfect. And so what we need in these moments is if you are a Christian, you became a Christian because you were aware that you fell short and you needed Jesus. The sense of approval. It's not a desire, it's a need, but maybe you are a person who generally walks through life with an understanding that none of us are perfect. None of us have everything together. Like we all have things that we're working on. And so the opinion and ideas of others generally don't bother you. Here's what I would ask you to consider. and here's what I would argue. There is someone in your world whose voice influences the things that you do. There is someone in your world that what they think about the decisions that you make influences the decisions that you make. Approval's not a bad thing. It just makes a crummy God. Because here's what happens. The danger with approval, the idol of approval creates a fear of rejection that places our identity and worth in the people around us. The idol of approval, when approval gets to the top of the list, when it becomes the ultimate thing that we have to have, we have to have it from the people around us, we have to have it from the person, whatever it may be, it shapes who you become. And what we avoid is this fear of rejection. All of the idols are connected to your identity. All the idols that we'll talk about in this series, they determine who you become. Approval is the only idol that places your identity in the hands of the people you seek to be approved by. You know this. In order to be approved by someone, you have to either become or show them something they would approve. And what happens is when approval becomes ultimate, your sense of value and worth is determined by the acceptance of the people around you. And it creates this internal tug of war. You see an example of this in John. Jesus is pretty far into his ministry at this point. He's at kind of rock star status. Like everyone who knows who he is. Some people like him, some people don't. There's some people who do believe in him. There's some people who don't believe in our life. It creates this internal tug of war. This is who I am. This is what I believe. This is what I want to do. In order for people to accept, approve, like, love, respect, I have to do this. And when approval's at the top of the list, it's always going to win. Your value, your worth, your identity is going to be in the hands of the people around you. And let's think about that for a second. What version of right and wrong do you choose today? We live in a world full of opinions. Everyone has an idea about the way you should or should not raise your kids. Everyone has an idea about what is right and what is wrong. And it's also people don't see the action that you do in light of who you are. They determine who you are based off of the action that you do. We see it with political affiliations, political views, religious views. You don't believe this. You are this. You see it with, again, like the way you raise your kids, the way you discipline your kids. You see it with whether you shop at Target or Walmart. I get that one a little bit. Like, don't go to Walmart. Like, there's nothing good that happens at that place. But like, we see these things in our life and people determine who we are based off of who we do. And when approval becomes our idol, it creates this exhausting desire to please. It creates this exhausting pursuit of a fragile approval that can be taken away at a moment's notice. Because when you gain someone's approval, in order to be approved by one is to be disapproved by the other. It's a dangerous place to be. It's a dangerous thing. And so the thing that we really need to take away from when we idolize approval, we ask people to fill a need that only God can satisfy. And so this exhausting race, this pull back and forth, this constant trying to, okay, I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this to this over here. Like we, it's exhausting. And you're always going to be left feeling less than because it highlights the differences and typically what we would assume as weaknesses where we've dropped the ball. It brings those to the surface. Because people, and again, let me reiterate, I want to make sure that you're not hearing the wrong thing in this. Approval, it's not bad. It just can never serve you the way that we're asking it to. Because we start looking at broken people to fill this need that we were designed to have filled by God. And so approval from people just creates this fragile pursuit of never good enoughness, never quite arrived yet. The best person that I've seen, the best story throughout scripture that I've seen to kind of illustrate the difference of a life defined by the fear of rejection and a life defined and transformed by the approval of Jesus is with the Samaritan woman. Let me read for you just a second, then we'll talk about it a little bit. This is in John chapter 4. If you have your Bibles, you can turn there. We're going to put it on the big digital Bible in the sky, too, so you're more than welcome to read that one. But in John 4, starting in verse, I'm going to start in 4, but it from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, will you give me a drink? His disciples had gone into town to buy food. Verse 9 says, the Samaritan woman said to him, you're a Jew and I'm a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink? For Jews did not associate with Samaritans. If you've been in or around church very much, you've probably heard this story. Even if you haven't been around, you may have heard reference to it. But in case you aren't familiar with some of the implications of the details that John gave, right? So the fact that it says she went to the well at noon says a lot about the life that this lady was living and the life that she was avoiding. So going to gather water was a common practice from the women in that day, but they would typically go one to two times a day, but it would always be in the morning or just before sunset because it's a cooler portion of the day, right? So, but not just was it practically better to go at those times, but it was also a time and an opportunity for community. Like there was a lot of ridiculous restrictions on women in that day and the way that they could function in public and especially around men and things of that sort. So whenever they would gather at the well, it was an opportunity for them to just be. Like they could hang out. They could hang out in their community. They could have conversations. They could talk about whatever it is they needed to talk about. They were just free to be there. And the fact that this lady, when at noon, shows us she was intentionally trying to avoid the people from her own town. Like she went at a time when she wasn't expecting anyone else to be there. And not only that, there's a lot of scholars and a lot of theologians point to that there was a lot of springs of water, a lot of wells closer to her village that she could have went to. So not only did she go at a time when she was expecting not to see someone, just in case, I'm going to go to a place further off. Like we don't know if, we don't know for certain if it was an idol of approval that she was dealing with. But what we do have a very good indicator of is she was avoiding rejection. She was avoiding the fingers. She was avoiding the conversations. Because what we find out a little later in the story is the life that she's living, some of the mistakes that she's made, some of the things that she's done would have been frowned upon by her community. And so what we can see in her life is that she is being shaped by an avoidance of rejection, which is a good indicator that there's a lack of approval in her world. I struggle with this. I struggle with the idol of approval much more than I'm proud of. Like, it rears its head up often. Like, I just need people to like me, partially because I'm so awesome, but also because the, like, no, there's just this, it's just something that pops up. Like, all of the idols do. I think they were all susceptible at different times. But this is the one that seems to pop up with me more often than not. And I was having a conversation with a couple of, actually three different people. So y'all are the fourth person I've ever told. Don't tell anybody else. An analogy that I used is with every interaction, every person, there's a brick wall. There's an imaginary brick wall. And the less bricks that are on that wall is an opportunity for me to come over. It's you accepting me, you bringing me in, you respecting me, you thinking whatever it is that I need you to think of me. It's I need you to love me, I need you to welcome me, I need you to do whatever. The less bricks that are there, the closer that I get to being fully brought in by someone. But the more bricks that are there is just the opposite, right? The more bricks that are there, it's more of a reason for you to not accept me. It's more of a reason for you not to like me. And so what I had told these people in this analogy was it feels like at times every conversation, every interaction, it doesn't matter if it's at like a rehearsal, it doesn't matter if we're hanging out and passing and going to grab lunch, if I'm passing you and barely talking to you in Walmart, in certain seasons of my life, it feels like every conversation I'm carrying a brick. I'm either putting a brick onto the wall and giving you a reason to not take me, to not like me, to not love me, to not accept me, or I'm taking a brick off of the wall. It's an exhausting pursuit. You're constantly carrying this weight of being whatever people need you to be, whatever people want you to be, oftentimes at the sacrifice of your own personal convictions, your own personal beliefs, your own ideas of who you want to be. We've all stood on the other side of a decision of regret. Like, why did I do that? For me, in my life, most of those decisions have been on the other side of, I've got to either remove a brick or I've got to put one up. That's an indicator for me. I didn't realize it until like I was writing this sermon this week, that whenever I feel that weight, whenever these moments start to happen in my life, when I feel like I'm either removing or putting a brick on, it's an indicator that approval is being elevated in my life. Not just simply because there's a need for it, but I'm looking to people for validation. I'm looking to people to affirm that I'm someone. I'm looking for people to help me realize that I am who I need to be and that I'm okay being who I am. I'm looking for people. That's an indicator. I don't know what it would be for you. Maybe that resonates with you. But some other indicators that approval has gotten really high on our list, is moving up the list in terms of desires, is when the one criticism speaks so much louder than 100 compliments. Like, you've got something, you've done something, you believe something, something happened, and there's so many people who are telling you, love that, you killed it, but there's one person, and that voice keeps you awake at night. When the idea of one person not liking you, being disappointed in you, thinking you messed up or that you let down, like it just rattles you to the core. Another indicator would be a lack of confidence, not just in you, but a lack of confidence in decisions that you have made or are making. And so what happens is we seek constant reassurance. I need validation. I need you to affirm that I'm doing the right thing. And honestly, in those seasons when approval is way up there, you can't make a decision without getting input from other people. These are indicators that we're seeking approval from a broken people. We're seeking approval from people who can never feel that need. This is what's happening in the world of the Samaritan woman. She's living a life avoiding the whispers, avoiding the reminders that she's not good enough, avoiding the reminders of the mistakes that she's made, and then she talks to Jesus. And this conversation changes everything in her world. Now, so something to understand, you saw that she was surprised that Jesus even approached her and talked to her. So remember, she's trying to avoid people. She's trying to avoid the people of her town. So she's going even further than what she needed to. And as she approaches Jesus, she's certainly thinking, okay, today's not the day that I'm gonna get a break from it. Because in this conversation, in this man, like with the man and woman, there was so many reasons why she would feel rejected by him. As she approached and as she got closer, as she saw that not just is he a man, but he's a Jew, as she got closer, she realized, oh man, there's religious tensions here that go back thousands of years. There's racial tensions there. There's cultural tensions that say men are not allowed to talk to women in public. Most husbands didn't even talk to their wives in public, much less a single man talking to a single woman in public. It just didn't happen. And as she got closer and closer and closer to the well, what had to start resonating with her a little bit more is, okay, today is going to be another day, just like the rest. But that's not what happened. Jesus talked to her. He broke cultural and religious norms, and he treated her like a person. Treated her not like she just had something, that he wanted something from her, but she had value in her world. And then there's a funny part of the conversation where they're talking about the water, and he's like, Jesus tells her, hey, so the water I've got, like, you won't ever be thirsty again. She's like, you ain't even got a bucket, man. Like, you asked me for water. How you got water? Like, what are you talking about? And then this happens in verse 14. Maybe not 14, 15. Actually, I'm going to go to 13. Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. Whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst. This is quite true. So she goes and approaches and has this conversation, and then comes the question, right? Jesus brings up this very thing that has shaped her life. Jesus brings up what is likely the very thing that is causing her to feel rejected by the people in her town and need to be approved. It's the very thing that's made her feel not good enough. And Jesus, you had to bring that up? Like, you can't really, like, Jesus knows everything everything. He knows everything. Like he just told her. So you have to kind of ask this question. Like Jesus, why did you have to bring this up? I really don't think it was because he wanted to remind her. See, you're not quite perfect, are you? See, here's this thing in your life. You got to get this worked out. You got to fix it. She didn't need reminding of that. I think that Jesus brought up the question because he wanted to let her know, you don't have to do that here. You don't have to pretend with me. You don't have to feel the weight of your failures. You don't have to feel like you are the sum total of your mistakes. You don't have to feel like you have to be someone else in order to be accepted, approved, and loved by me. For the first time in probably a very long time. This lady who has been rejected time and time again comes to a conversation with someone who knows everything and welcomes her in. And suddenly there's a rest. I don't have to chase. I don't have to be. I can just be. I don't have to conform to what your idea of good and bad is. I can just rest in the approval of Jesus. And it changes her life forever. You can come on up here. It changes her life forever. What's incredible is you read throughout the rest of the story, there's a boldness and confidence after finding this approval that she runs back to the town. She runs, she leaves her water jug. She runs back to town, back to the place where she has faced rejection over and over again, back to the place where she's reminded you're not good enough, back to the place that people have told her and made her feel like you don't belong here. You're not one of us. You aren't good enough. We'll never approve of you until you fix everything. She's a boldness and a confidence that takes her back to that place and resting in the approval of Jesus, she becomes the person these people need in their life. She has influence on her community. She has influence in the people's lives around her. Resting. Listen to me. This is just an aside. I said I wasn't going to say it, but I want to. And so here we are. The people in your life that you feel like you have to measure up for, the people in your life who rely on you and depend on you, the people in your life who need something from you, what they need from you is to be the person that Jesus is asking you to be. Jesus is not going to lead you to be a poor wife, a poor husband. This lady, this, the first evangelist, I think she, she was, she was the first person to hear, hey, wait, you're the Messiah? And she went back to her, and she had influence in the lives of people who wanted nothing to do with her. When the voice of Jesus became the voice that she rested in, when the voice of Jesus became the voice that she found her approval, she found her identity, she found her life in, it changed her world. She realized that she didn't have to be all things to all people. There were certainly still people there, still people in her community that didn't respect, that didn't like. They may have still whispered. There were certainly people in her community who still didn't listen to what she had to say. But the beautiful part about it is after she found rest in the approval of Jesus, she didn't need them to anymore. They were no longer shaping who she became. Whose voice are you listening to? In certain seasons of your life, whose voice are you listening to? Do you know what Jesus thinks about you? Like, do you know what God thinks about you right now, knowing you fully? Ephesians 2.10 is one of my favorite verses. It's the Apostle Paul. He says that you are God's masterpiece chosen in Christ Jesus to do the good works that he prepared for you ahead of time. He says you are God's masterpiece. There's some versions that say worksmanship, craftsmanship, but the Greek word that Paul used there is poe. Let me look at it. I want to make sure I say it right. Well, I'm going to read it. Those are the right letters. I'm going to say it wrong. Poema. He says, you are God's poema. It's where we get our word poem from. Do you know what God thinks about you? You are his poetry. You are God's poem. His work of art that before time began, he loved. You do all of the things that you do, but do it from an awareness that you have of God who looks at you as his work of art. Let's pray. God, thank you so much. Thank you for the love, the life, the grace that you offer. God, there's going to be seasons, some of us more often than others, when the need and desire for approval begins to become our focus, when image management becomes the thing that we work on the most because we need people to let us in. God, what I ask you to do is just with the softness and gentleness of your Holy Spirit, remind us. Remind us who we are in you. Remind us of the life, the freedom, and the rest that we found in you as our Savior. And let us live our life, God, from a position of approval from God instead of seeking the approval of man. We trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.
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Good morning. Grace, I would just like to point out that I'm the guy who fixed the sound. Let's pray and go home. I think we can leave on that one. Actually, and I fixed it by doing absolutely nothing. That's what happens a lot of times, right? Like you go try to fix somebody, somebody asks a question, and you just act like you do something. It's like, thanks, man. You know so much about everything. Hey, I'm so glad that you are here and you decided to join us this morning if you're new. My name is Aaron. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Thank you for choosing to come to church instead of asking your wife if you could stay home and watch the U.S. Open. Jesus does love you more for that. I'm just kidding. He doesn't. I know some of you. Hey, we are in the third week of a series called Idols. And just to kind of set us up, kind of get us moving in the direction we're heading this morning. So you've got like the US Open, right? Very prestigious event, great golfers and all that. Then there's another event that's really close to it. It's the Grace Raleigh Golf Tournament. It's same prestige, same level of competition, same caliber of players and we had it back April, but nobody signed up. So what we did instead, we actually, there was like 16 people who signed up to be a part of it. So we quickly veered away from like tournament and we said, okay, so what we're going to do instead is just give whoever wants to play a reason to take Monday off and go play golf and hang out with one another, right? And so I just want to be very open and honest. I am, I'm not a good golfer, okay? And because of that, like, I don't typically sign up to be a part of stuff like that because I don't need you to see and remind me that I'm not a good golfer. Like, I'm learning. I love to play. I play often. I'm just not playing well. So I typically avoid stuff like that. But I look through the list. I look through the roster, and I was like, okay, I may not be the worst one there. I was. I was the worst one there. Absolutely. And I can tell you, there's proof that I was the worst one there. So what happens is as soon as you pull up, we were at Zebulon Country Club. If you've ever played there, you'll know what I'm talking about. You pull into the parking lot, and immediately atop of a conversation is the ninth hole, right? Because as you go to park, like some people will remind you and like warn you, hey, listen, you see that? There's a tee box right there. Like it's really close. The green is really close to the parking lot. It's really close to the clubhouse. And you don't want to park there because some idiot's going to hit the ball too far. It hit a car. You don't let it be your car, right? And so immediately what happens is you, okay, yeah, let me move. Like I'm going to go somewhere else. then we went. We played the eight holes, and I played terribly. Like there's all this added pressure, which is dumb. I'm not a good golfer. Everyone knows I'm not a good golfer. Why do I feel like I have to play like a good golfer? That's another reason. If you play golf and not well, why do you get so mad that you're not playing? What do you expect to happen? So we go through the entire eight holes or we go through eight holes. Then we get up to nine and then you start thinking about the parking lot again. Right? Well, I start thinking about the parking lot again. When I went up to the tee box, what was going through my mind was not, hey, there's a sand trap just in front of the green. Make sure, play the left side. I don't think, hey, you know what? I want to hit this in the back of the green and make it spin. I don't even know how to make the ball spin. I don't know if it does spin when I hit it. I have no clue. So that's not what going through my mind is. I line up to hit the ball. What I start thinking about is, don't be the idiot who hits a car. Like, don't be that guy. And I take my backswing, and I come through, and man, y'all, I blade it. Like, it's just, I hit it, and it just rockets towards the parking lot. Not just towards the parking lot, towards the Mercedes flipping bins, okay? Now, was anybody here? Did anybody go? Dude, either of you drive a Mercedes. Because if you do, this was going to have a very different ending. Like, it went past the Mercedes. There was this banged-up truck. I hit that thing. But no, so as you can figure out by now, like it went straight. I'm telling you, like everything got real. It was movie type slow motion. You know what I mean? Like I could see which way the blades of grass were going. There was a groundskeeper. He was in the sand. He just watched it. Uh-oh. It just looked. And then I'm telling y'all, like it was the loudest bang I've ever heard in my life. It sounded like this dude's ex-wife was really, really mad, found a sledgehammer in his car, and went to work. It was so loud, and everything in me just sank. I was like, oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. For one, the first thought was, my wife is never going to let me play golf again. I just played an $80,000 round of golf at a mediocre golf course. What kind of, I'm the idiot that everyone's thinking about. And then my second thought was, I have people with me. Like they all saw that I'm the idiot who hit the car on the other side of the green at Zebulon Country Club, right? And so I turn around, I'm like, well, maybe,, there's this idea of, okay, I'm one of their pastors. Which I am, by the way, if you didn't know that up to this point. But I'm one of their pastors. Maybe I'll turn around and there'll be some grace and some kindness. Here's what I. That's what the heck I turned around to. That was just that exact noise. No, I'm telling you. There's a guy. I'm not going to. We share the same first name, Carly Buchanan. It's his husband. You don't need to know the rest of it. But I turn around, and here's what I see. Like, he's laughing so flipping hard. Like, he can't even control his shoulders. I'm like, are you, you're a jerk face. And then I said, okay, well, there's still two others. And I look and there's another guy swinging a golf club. Just, oh, let me act like I don't see anything. But still there's a single shoulder. He's not as big. I'm like, are you kidding? There's one other guy. And I look over to him and his face is like this because I'm on his team. And he's like, we can't use that ball. I gotta, I gotta show up now and do something really good. Right. And I'm like,, my, this is the worst day ever. Okay, so immediately I start going into damage control. How do I make sure nobody else finds out? And about that time, the little golf club swinging guy, he yells out to people on another hole. He hit the Mercedes. I'm like, are you kidding me? Listen, I'm not joking about this. Two weeks later, two weeks later, we were at the AJ event. I think it was two weeks. Anyway, it was a couple weeks later. Somebody came up to me who wasn't even at the golf course and said, hey, I heard about the ninth hole. Dude didn't even go to our church. I'm like, are you kidding me? And the entire time I'm thinking, everybody knows I'm the idiot who hit the car. Not just a car. It was a Mercedes. And, like, everything that was the reason that I don't go get involved in stuff like this. Now, we did go. We went and we really looked over the car pretty well, make sure there was no dings or anything like that. And there was at some point the guys that were there with me, they tried to start consoling, except for the one jerk face whose shoulders are going like that. Like everybody was like, hey, don't, Aaron, it's all right, buddy. Like it happens. They certainly have to take a little bit of accountability. Like when you park there, like you knew there was going to be an idiot. You didn't know you were going to be the idiot, but like you knew there was a possibility. So they started to give some comfort, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, like there was just this overwhelming overwhelming sense of not good enough, and everybody knows it now. Like, there was this overwhelming sense of everyone sees that I don't belong here. I don't belong at this tournament. I don't belong being here. Like, there's nothing about it. And fortunately, these guys came, they consoled, and then I do just want to say, like, I piped the next drive, right? Like, it looked really, really, so much so that the greenskeeper who watched it go like this, he was like, that wasn't the same guy who hit the bins, was it? I was like, shut up, dude. So, but there was this sense and this need, this overwhelming awareness where I was different. I didn't belong in that place. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt the not good enoughness? Have you ever felt like your weakness, your insecurity, all the things that you're worried about? Everybody kind of sees. And maybe it's just not a weakness, but maybe it's just a difference that someone else doesn't approve of. Maybe you feel it when mom-in-law or dad-in-law or mom or dad come to the house, and suddenly they start looking at everything, and you know there's going to be some criticisms. You know where they're going to say, hey, you should really do this different. You know they're going to say, you're not raising your kids right. I didn't let you do that. You've got to do this differently. Maybe it's in co-working world, right, or with your boss, or maybe it's whenever you go with a group of moms, and all the moms seem like they have houses that kids don't live in, right? Like it just, there's this overwhelming sense and awareness of different. Don't belong. Not good enough. And there's this pressure that in order for you to accept me and to like me, to approve of me, I have to become who it is that you want me to be. Not good enough. It's a powerful motivator. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. I have. And that's what we're talking about today. We started a couple weeks ago a new series, as Aaron was saying a little earlier, called Idols. And essentially what an idol is, an idol is anything that we elevate to a position of authority in our life. It could be anything at all. But I love what St. Augustine says about it. He says that the matter, the challenge, the problem, the difficulty with living the holy lives that we want to live is a matter of disordered love. It's loving things out of their appropriate order. That's not just a Christian thing. That's a human thing, right? Well, whatever's at the top of your list, whether it's a person, whether it's a thing, that's what's going to call the shots in your life. That's idolatry. Whatever is at the top of the list is going to determine the steps that you take because we shape our lives around pleasing that person or attaining that thing. And Nate talked with us last week. I don't know why I pointed over there. He's not over there. Nate talked with us last week about power and how when power becomes something that becomes the ultimate thing, it just rattles everything and how it destroys relationships. If you missed it, you can check it out online. Go and listen to that. Today, we're talking about approval. And I know the thought, I know the argument. You may have even had someone who leaned over to you and said, I really don't care what people think about me. Yes, you do. Because you wouldn't have said that if you didn't want us to think you were cool for saying it, right? Approval is not a bad thing. And approval, I wouldn't even say is a desire so much as it is a need. A need for approval comes from an awareness of self. A need for approval comes from this awareness of that I'm not perfect. And so what we need in these moments is if you are a Christian, you became a Christian because you were aware that you fell short and you needed Jesus. The sense of approval. It's not a desire, it's a need, but maybe you are a person who generally walks through life with an understanding that none of us are perfect. None of us have everything together. Like we all have things that we're working on. And so the opinion and ideas of others generally don't bother you. Here's what I would ask you to consider. and here's what I would argue. There is someone in your world whose voice influences the things that you do. There is someone in your world that what they think about the decisions that you make influences the decisions that you make. Approval's not a bad thing. It just makes a crummy God. Because here's what happens. The danger with approval, the idol of approval creates a fear of rejection that places our identity and worth in the people around us. The idol of approval, when approval gets to the top of the list, when it becomes the ultimate thing that we have to have, we have to have it from the people around us, we have to have it from the person, whatever it may be, it shapes who you become. And what we avoid is this fear of rejection. All of the idols are connected to your identity. All the idols that we'll talk about in this series, they determine who you become. Approval is the only idol that places your identity in the hands of the people you seek to be approved by. You know this. In order to be approved by someone, you have to either become or show them something they would approve. And what happens is when approval becomes ultimate, your sense of value and worth is determined by the acceptance of the people around you. And it creates this internal tug of war. You see an example of this in John. Jesus is pretty far into his ministry at this point. He's at kind of rock star status. Like everyone who knows who he is. Some people like him, some people don't. There's some people who do believe in him. There's some people who don't believe in our life. It creates this internal tug of war. This is who I am. This is what I believe. This is what I want to do. In order for people to accept, approve, like, love, respect, I have to do this. And when approval's at the top of the list, it's always going to win. Your value, your worth, your identity is going to be in the hands of the people around you. And let's think about that for a second. What version of right and wrong do you choose today? We live in a world full of opinions. Everyone has an idea about the way you should or should not raise your kids. Everyone has an idea about what is right and what is wrong. And it's also people don't see the action that you do in light of who you are. They determine who you are based off of the action that you do. We see it with political affiliations, political views, religious views. You don't believe this. You are this. You see it with, again, like the way you raise your kids, the way you discipline your kids. You see it with whether you shop at Target or Walmart. I get that one a little bit. Like, don't go to Walmart. Like, there's nothing good that happens at that place. But like, we see these things in our life and people determine who we are based off of who we do. And when approval becomes our idol, it creates this exhausting desire to please. It creates this exhausting pursuit of a fragile approval that can be taken away at a moment's notice. Because when you gain someone's approval, in order to be approved by one is to be disapproved by the other. It's a dangerous place to be. It's a dangerous thing. And so the thing that we really need to take away from when we idolize approval, we ask people to fill a need that only God can satisfy. And so this exhausting race, this pull back and forth, this constant trying to, okay, I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this to this over here. Like we, it's exhausting. And you're always going to be left feeling less than because it highlights the differences and typically what we would assume as weaknesses where we've dropped the ball. It brings those to the surface. Because people, and again, let me reiterate, I want to make sure that you're not hearing the wrong thing in this. Approval, it's not bad. It just can never serve you the way that we're asking it to. Because we start looking at broken people to fill this need that we were designed to have filled by God. And so approval from people just creates this fragile pursuit of never good enoughness, never quite arrived yet. The best person that I've seen, the best story throughout scripture that I've seen to kind of illustrate the difference of a life defined by the fear of rejection and a life defined and transformed by the approval of Jesus is with the Samaritan woman. Let me read for you just a second, then we'll talk about it a little bit. This is in John chapter 4. If you have your Bibles, you can turn there. We're going to put it on the big digital Bible in the sky, too, so you're more than welcome to read that one. But in John 4, starting in verse, I'm going to start in 4, but it from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, will you give me a drink? His disciples had gone into town to buy food. Verse 9 says, the Samaritan woman said to him, you're a Jew and I'm a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink? For Jews did not associate with Samaritans. If you've been in or around church very much, you've probably heard this story. Even if you haven't been around, you may have heard reference to it. But in case you aren't familiar with some of the implications of the details that John gave, right? So the fact that it says she went to the well at noon says a lot about the life that this lady was living and the life that she was avoiding. So going to gather water was a common practice from the women in that day, but they would typically go one to two times a day, but it would always be in the morning or just before sunset because it's a cooler portion of the day, right? So, but not just was it practically better to go at those times, but it was also a time and an opportunity for community. Like there was a lot of ridiculous restrictions on women in that day and the way that they could function in public and especially around men and things of that sort. So whenever they would gather at the well, it was an opportunity for them to just be. Like they could hang out. They could hang out in their community. They could have conversations. They could talk about whatever it is they needed to talk about. They were just free to be there. And the fact that this lady, when at noon, shows us she was intentionally trying to avoid the people from her own town. Like she went at a time when she wasn't expecting anyone else to be there. And not only that, there's a lot of scholars and a lot of theologians point to that there was a lot of springs of water, a lot of wells closer to her village that she could have went to. So not only did she go at a time when she was expecting not to see someone, just in case, I'm going to go to a place further off. Like we don't know if, we don't know for certain if it was an idol of approval that she was dealing with. But what we do have a very good indicator of is she was avoiding rejection. She was avoiding the fingers. She was avoiding the conversations. Because what we find out a little later in the story is the life that she's living, some of the mistakes that she's made, some of the things that she's done would have been frowned upon by her community. And so what we can see in her life is that she is being shaped by an avoidance of rejection, which is a good indicator that there's a lack of approval in her world. I struggle with this. I struggle with the idol of approval much more than I'm proud of. Like, it rears its head up often. Like, I just need people to like me, partially because I'm so awesome, but also because the, like, no, there's just this, it's just something that pops up. Like, all of the idols do. I think they were all susceptible at different times. But this is the one that seems to pop up with me more often than not. And I was having a conversation with a couple of, actually three different people. So y'all are the fourth person I've ever told. Don't tell anybody else. An analogy that I used is with every interaction, every person, there's a brick wall. There's an imaginary brick wall. And the less bricks that are on that wall is an opportunity for me to come over. It's you accepting me, you bringing me in, you respecting me, you thinking whatever it is that I need you to think of me. It's I need you to love me, I need you to welcome me, I need you to do whatever. The less bricks that are there, the closer that I get to being fully brought in by someone. But the more bricks that are there is just the opposite, right? The more bricks that are there, it's more of a reason for you to not accept me. It's more of a reason for you not to like me. And so what I had told these people in this analogy was it feels like at times every conversation, every interaction, it doesn't matter if it's at like a rehearsal, it doesn't matter if we're hanging out and passing and going to grab lunch, if I'm passing you and barely talking to you in Walmart, in certain seasons of my life, it feels like every conversation I'm carrying a brick. I'm either putting a brick onto the wall and giving you a reason to not take me, to not like me, to not love me, to not accept me, or I'm taking a brick off of the wall. It's an exhausting pursuit. You're constantly carrying this weight of being whatever people need you to be, whatever people want you to be, oftentimes at the sacrifice of your own personal convictions, your own personal beliefs, your own ideas of who you want to be. We've all stood on the other side of a decision of regret. Like, why did I do that? For me, in my life, most of those decisions have been on the other side of, I've got to either remove a brick or I've got to put one up. That's an indicator for me. I didn't realize it until like I was writing this sermon this week, that whenever I feel that weight, whenever these moments start to happen in my life, when I feel like I'm either removing or putting a brick on, it's an indicator that approval is being elevated in my life. Not just simply because there's a need for it, but I'm looking to people for validation. I'm looking to people to affirm that I'm someone. I'm looking for people to help me realize that I am who I need to be and that I'm okay being who I am. I'm looking for people. That's an indicator. I don't know what it would be for you. Maybe that resonates with you. But some other indicators that approval has gotten really high on our list, is moving up the list in terms of desires, is when the one criticism speaks so much louder than 100 compliments. Like, you've got something, you've done something, you believe something, something happened, and there's so many people who are telling you, love that, you killed it, but there's one person, and that voice keeps you awake at night. When the idea of one person not liking you, being disappointed in you, thinking you messed up or that you let down, like it just rattles you to the core. Another indicator would be a lack of confidence, not just in you, but a lack of confidence in decisions that you have made or are making. And so what happens is we seek constant reassurance. I need validation. I need you to affirm that I'm doing the right thing. And honestly, in those seasons when approval is way up there, you can't make a decision without getting input from other people. These are indicators that we're seeking approval from a broken people. We're seeking approval from people who can never feel that need. This is what's happening in the world of the Samaritan woman. She's living a life avoiding the whispers, avoiding the reminders that she's not good enough, avoiding the reminders of the mistakes that she's made, and then she talks to Jesus. And this conversation changes everything in her world. Now, so something to understand, you saw that she was surprised that Jesus even approached her and talked to her. So remember, she's trying to avoid people. She's trying to avoid the people of her town. So she's going even further than what she needed to. And as she approaches Jesus, she's certainly thinking, okay, today's not the day that I'm gonna get a break from it. Because in this conversation, in this man, like with the man and woman, there was so many reasons why she would feel rejected by him. As she approached and as she got closer, as she saw that not just is he a man, but he's a Jew, as she got closer, she realized, oh man, there's religious tensions here that go back thousands of years. There's racial tensions there. There's cultural tensions that say men are not allowed to talk to women in public. Most husbands didn't even talk to their wives in public, much less a single man talking to a single woman in public. It just didn't happen. And as she got closer and closer and closer to the well, what had to start resonating with her a little bit more is, okay, today is going to be another day, just like the rest. But that's not what happened. Jesus talked to her. He broke cultural and religious norms, and he treated her like a person. Treated her not like she just had something, that he wanted something from her, but she had value in her world. And then there's a funny part of the conversation where they're talking about the water, and he's like, Jesus tells her, hey, so the water I've got, like, you won't ever be thirsty again. She's like, you ain't even got a bucket, man. Like, you asked me for water. How you got water? Like, what are you talking about? And then this happens in verse 14. Maybe not 14, 15. Actually, I'm going to go to 13. Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. Whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst. This is quite true. So she goes and approaches and has this conversation, and then comes the question, right? Jesus brings up this very thing that has shaped her life. Jesus brings up what is likely the very thing that is causing her to feel rejected by the people in her town and need to be approved. It's the very thing that's made her feel not good enough. And Jesus, you had to bring that up? Like, you can't really, like, Jesus knows everything everything. He knows everything. Like he just told her. So you have to kind of ask this question. Like Jesus, why did you have to bring this up? I really don't think it was because he wanted to remind her. See, you're not quite perfect, are you? See, here's this thing in your life. You got to get this worked out. You got to fix it. She didn't need reminding of that. I think that Jesus brought up the question because he wanted to let her know, you don't have to do that here. You don't have to pretend with me. You don't have to feel the weight of your failures. You don't have to feel like you are the sum total of your mistakes. You don't have to feel like you have to be someone else in order to be accepted, approved, and loved by me. For the first time in probably a very long time. This lady who has been rejected time and time again comes to a conversation with someone who knows everything and welcomes her in. And suddenly there's a rest. I don't have to chase. I don't have to be. I can just be. I don't have to conform to what your idea of good and bad is. I can just rest in the approval of Jesus. And it changes her life forever. You can come on up here. It changes her life forever. What's incredible is you read throughout the rest of the story, there's a boldness and confidence after finding this approval that she runs back to the town. She runs, she leaves her water jug. She runs back to town, back to the place where she has faced rejection over and over again, back to the place where she's reminded you're not good enough, back to the place that people have told her and made her feel like you don't belong here. You're not one of us. You aren't good enough. We'll never approve of you until you fix everything. She's a boldness and a confidence that takes her back to that place and resting in the approval of Jesus, she becomes the person these people need in their life. She has influence on her community. She has influence in the people's lives around her. Resting. Listen to me. This is just an aside. I said I wasn't going to say it, but I want to. And so here we are. The people in your life that you feel like you have to measure up for, the people in your life who rely on you and depend on you, the people in your life who need something from you, what they need from you is to be the person that Jesus is asking you to be. Jesus is not going to lead you to be a poor wife, a poor husband. This lady, this, the first evangelist, I think she, she was, she was the first person to hear, hey, wait, you're the Messiah? And she went back to her, and she had influence in the lives of people who wanted nothing to do with her. When the voice of Jesus became the voice that she rested in, when the voice of Jesus became the voice that she found her approval, she found her identity, she found her life in, it changed her world. She realized that she didn't have to be all things to all people. There were certainly still people there, still people in her community that didn't respect, that didn't like. They may have still whispered. There were certainly people in her community who still didn't listen to what she had to say. But the beautiful part about it is after she found rest in the approval of Jesus, she didn't need them to anymore. They were no longer shaping who she became. Whose voice are you listening to? In certain seasons of your life, whose voice are you listening to? Do you know what Jesus thinks about you? Like, do you know what God thinks about you right now, knowing you fully? Ephesians 2.10 is one of my favorite verses. It's the Apostle Paul. He says that you are God's masterpiece chosen in Christ Jesus to do the good works that he prepared for you ahead of time. He says you are God's masterpiece. There's some versions that say worksmanship, craftsmanship, but the Greek word that Paul used there is poe. Let me look at it. I want to make sure I say it right. Well, I'm going to read it. Those are the right letters. I'm going to say it wrong. Poema. He says, you are God's poema. It's where we get our word poem from. Do you know what God thinks about you? You are his poetry. You are God's poem. His work of art that before time began, he loved. You do all of the things that you do, but do it from an awareness that you have of God who looks at you as his work of art. Let's pray. God, thank you so much. Thank you for the love, the life, the grace that you offer. God, there's going to be seasons, some of us more often than others, when the need and desire for approval begins to become our focus, when image management becomes the thing that we work on the most because we need people to let us in. God, what I ask you to do is just with the softness and gentleness of your Holy Spirit, remind us. Remind us who we are in you. Remind us of the life, the freedom, and the rest that we found in you as our Savior. And let us live our life, God, from a position of approval from God instead of seeking the approval of man. We trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.
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Good morning. Grace, I would just like to point out that I'm the guy who fixed the sound. Let's pray and go home. I think we can leave on that one. Actually, and I fixed it by doing absolutely nothing. That's what happens a lot of times, right? Like you go try to fix somebody, somebody asks a question, and you just act like you do something. It's like, thanks, man. You know so much about everything. Hey, I'm so glad that you are here and you decided to join us this morning if you're new. My name is Aaron. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Thank you for choosing to come to church instead of asking your wife if you could stay home and watch the U.S. Open. Jesus does love you more for that. I'm just kidding. He doesn't. I know some of you. Hey, we are in the third week of a series called Idols. And just to kind of set us up, kind of get us moving in the direction we're heading this morning. So you've got like the US Open, right? Very prestigious event, great golfers and all that. Then there's another event that's really close to it. It's the Grace Raleigh Golf Tournament. It's same prestige, same level of competition, same caliber of players and we had it back April, but nobody signed up. So what we did instead, we actually, there was like 16 people who signed up to be a part of it. So we quickly veered away from like tournament and we said, okay, so what we're going to do instead is just give whoever wants to play a reason to take Monday off and go play golf and hang out with one another, right? And so I just want to be very open and honest. I am, I'm not a good golfer, okay? And because of that, like, I don't typically sign up to be a part of stuff like that because I don't need you to see and remind me that I'm not a good golfer. Like, I'm learning. I love to play. I play often. I'm just not playing well. So I typically avoid stuff like that. But I look through the list. I look through the roster, and I was like, okay, I may not be the worst one there. I was. I was the worst one there. Absolutely. And I can tell you, there's proof that I was the worst one there. So what happens is as soon as you pull up, we were at Zebulon Country Club. If you've ever played there, you'll know what I'm talking about. You pull into the parking lot, and immediately atop of a conversation is the ninth hole, right? Because as you go to park, like some people will remind you and like warn you, hey, listen, you see that? There's a tee box right there. Like it's really close. The green is really close to the parking lot. It's really close to the clubhouse. And you don't want to park there because some idiot's going to hit the ball too far. It hit a car. You don't let it be your car, right? And so immediately what happens is you, okay, yeah, let me move. Like I'm going to go somewhere else. then we went. We played the eight holes, and I played terribly. Like there's all this added pressure, which is dumb. I'm not a good golfer. Everyone knows I'm not a good golfer. Why do I feel like I have to play like a good golfer? That's another reason. If you play golf and not well, why do you get so mad that you're not playing? What do you expect to happen? So we go through the entire eight holes or we go through eight holes. Then we get up to nine and then you start thinking about the parking lot again. Right? Well, I start thinking about the parking lot again. When I went up to the tee box, what was going through my mind was not, hey, there's a sand trap just in front of the green. Make sure, play the left side. I don't think, hey, you know what? I want to hit this in the back of the green and make it spin. I don't even know how to make the ball spin. I don't know if it does spin when I hit it. I have no clue. So that's not what going through my mind is. I line up to hit the ball. What I start thinking about is, don't be the idiot who hits a car. Like, don't be that guy. And I take my backswing, and I come through, and man, y'all, I blade it. Like, it's just, I hit it, and it just rockets towards the parking lot. Not just towards the parking lot, towards the Mercedes flipping bins, okay? Now, was anybody here? Did anybody go? Dude, either of you drive a Mercedes. Because if you do, this was going to have a very different ending. Like, it went past the Mercedes. There was this banged-up truck. I hit that thing. But no, so as you can figure out by now, like it went straight. I'm telling you, like everything got real. It was movie type slow motion. You know what I mean? Like I could see which way the blades of grass were going. There was a groundskeeper. He was in the sand. He just watched it. Uh-oh. It just looked. And then I'm telling y'all, like it was the loudest bang I've ever heard in my life. It sounded like this dude's ex-wife was really, really mad, found a sledgehammer in his car, and went to work. It was so loud, and everything in me just sank. I was like, oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. For one, the first thought was, my wife is never going to let me play golf again. I just played an $80,000 round of golf at a mediocre golf course. What kind of, I'm the idiot that everyone's thinking about. And then my second thought was, I have people with me. Like they all saw that I'm the idiot who hit the car on the other side of the green at Zebulon Country Club, right? And so I turn around, I'm like, well, maybe,, there's this idea of, okay, I'm one of their pastors. Which I am, by the way, if you didn't know that up to this point. But I'm one of their pastors. Maybe I'll turn around and there'll be some grace and some kindness. Here's what I. That's what the heck I turned around to. That was just that exact noise. No, I'm telling you. There's a guy. I'm not going to. We share the same first name, Carly Buchanan. It's his husband. You don't need to know the rest of it. But I turn around, and here's what I see. Like, he's laughing so flipping hard. Like, he can't even control his shoulders. I'm like, are you, you're a jerk face. And then I said, okay, well, there's still two others. And I look and there's another guy swinging a golf club. Just, oh, let me act like I don't see anything. But still there's a single shoulder. He's not as big. I'm like, are you kidding? There's one other guy. And I look over to him and his face is like this because I'm on his team. And he's like, we can't use that ball. I gotta, I gotta show up now and do something really good. Right. And I'm like,, my, this is the worst day ever. Okay, so immediately I start going into damage control. How do I make sure nobody else finds out? And about that time, the little golf club swinging guy, he yells out to people on another hole. He hit the Mercedes. I'm like, are you kidding me? Listen, I'm not joking about this. Two weeks later, two weeks later, we were at the AJ event. I think it was two weeks. Anyway, it was a couple weeks later. Somebody came up to me who wasn't even at the golf course and said, hey, I heard about the ninth hole. Dude didn't even go to our church. I'm like, are you kidding me? And the entire time I'm thinking, everybody knows I'm the idiot who hit the car. Not just a car. It was a Mercedes. And, like, everything that was the reason that I don't go get involved in stuff like this. Now, we did go. We went and we really looked over the car pretty well, make sure there was no dings or anything like that. And there was at some point the guys that were there with me, they tried to start consoling, except for the one jerk face whose shoulders are going like that. Like everybody was like, hey, don't, Aaron, it's all right, buddy. Like it happens. They certainly have to take a little bit of accountability. Like when you park there, like you knew there was going to be an idiot. You didn't know you were going to be the idiot, but like you knew there was a possibility. So they started to give some comfort, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, like there was just this overwhelming overwhelming sense of not good enough, and everybody knows it now. Like, there was this overwhelming sense of everyone sees that I don't belong here. I don't belong at this tournament. I don't belong being here. Like, there's nothing about it. And fortunately, these guys came, they consoled, and then I do just want to say, like, I piped the next drive, right? Like, it looked really, really, so much so that the greenskeeper who watched it go like this, he was like, that wasn't the same guy who hit the bins, was it? I was like, shut up, dude. So, but there was this sense and this need, this overwhelming awareness where I was different. I didn't belong in that place. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt the not good enoughness? Have you ever felt like your weakness, your insecurity, all the things that you're worried about? Everybody kind of sees. And maybe it's just not a weakness, but maybe it's just a difference that someone else doesn't approve of. Maybe you feel it when mom-in-law or dad-in-law or mom or dad come to the house, and suddenly they start looking at everything, and you know there's going to be some criticisms. You know where they're going to say, hey, you should really do this different. You know they're going to say, you're not raising your kids right. I didn't let you do that. You've got to do this differently. Maybe it's in co-working world, right, or with your boss, or maybe it's whenever you go with a group of moms, and all the moms seem like they have houses that kids don't live in, right? Like it just, there's this overwhelming sense and awareness of different. Don't belong. Not good enough. And there's this pressure that in order for you to accept me and to like me, to approve of me, I have to become who it is that you want me to be. Not good enough. It's a powerful motivator. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. I have. And that's what we're talking about today. We started a couple weeks ago a new series, as Aaron was saying a little earlier, called Idols. And essentially what an idol is, an idol is anything that we elevate to a position of authority in our life. It could be anything at all. But I love what St. Augustine says about it. He says that the matter, the challenge, the problem, the difficulty with living the holy lives that we want to live is a matter of disordered love. It's loving things out of their appropriate order. That's not just a Christian thing. That's a human thing, right? Well, whatever's at the top of your list, whether it's a person, whether it's a thing, that's what's going to call the shots in your life. That's idolatry. Whatever is at the top of the list is going to determine the steps that you take because we shape our lives around pleasing that person or attaining that thing. And Nate talked with us last week. I don't know why I pointed over there. He's not over there. Nate talked with us last week about power and how when power becomes something that becomes the ultimate thing, it just rattles everything and how it destroys relationships. If you missed it, you can check it out online. Go and listen to that. Today, we're talking about approval. And I know the thought, I know the argument. You may have even had someone who leaned over to you and said, I really don't care what people think about me. Yes, you do. Because you wouldn't have said that if you didn't want us to think you were cool for saying it, right? Approval is not a bad thing. And approval, I wouldn't even say is a desire so much as it is a need. A need for approval comes from an awareness of self. A need for approval comes from this awareness of that I'm not perfect. And so what we need in these moments is if you are a Christian, you became a Christian because you were aware that you fell short and you needed Jesus. The sense of approval. It's not a desire, it's a need, but maybe you are a person who generally walks through life with an understanding that none of us are perfect. None of us have everything together. Like we all have things that we're working on. And so the opinion and ideas of others generally don't bother you. Here's what I would ask you to consider. and here's what I would argue. There is someone in your world whose voice influences the things that you do. There is someone in your world that what they think about the decisions that you make influences the decisions that you make. Approval's not a bad thing. It just makes a crummy God. Because here's what happens. The danger with approval, the idol of approval creates a fear of rejection that places our identity and worth in the people around us. The idol of approval, when approval gets to the top of the list, when it becomes the ultimate thing that we have to have, we have to have it from the people around us, we have to have it from the person, whatever it may be, it shapes who you become. And what we avoid is this fear of rejection. All of the idols are connected to your identity. All the idols that we'll talk about in this series, they determine who you become. Approval is the only idol that places your identity in the hands of the people you seek to be approved by. You know this. In order to be approved by someone, you have to either become or show them something they would approve. And what happens is when approval becomes ultimate, your sense of value and worth is determined by the acceptance of the people around you. And it creates this internal tug of war. You see an example of this in John. Jesus is pretty far into his ministry at this point. He's at kind of rock star status. Like everyone who knows who he is. Some people like him, some people don't. There's some people who do believe in him. There's some people who don't believe in our life. It creates this internal tug of war. This is who I am. This is what I believe. This is what I want to do. In order for people to accept, approve, like, love, respect, I have to do this. And when approval's at the top of the list, it's always going to win. Your value, your worth, your identity is going to be in the hands of the people around you. And let's think about that for a second. What version of right and wrong do you choose today? We live in a world full of opinions. Everyone has an idea about the way you should or should not raise your kids. Everyone has an idea about what is right and what is wrong. And it's also people don't see the action that you do in light of who you are. They determine who you are based off of the action that you do. We see it with political affiliations, political views, religious views. You don't believe this. You are this. You see it with, again, like the way you raise your kids, the way you discipline your kids. You see it with whether you shop at Target or Walmart. I get that one a little bit. Like, don't go to Walmart. Like, there's nothing good that happens at that place. But like, we see these things in our life and people determine who we are based off of who we do. And when approval becomes our idol, it creates this exhausting desire to please. It creates this exhausting pursuit of a fragile approval that can be taken away at a moment's notice. Because when you gain someone's approval, in order to be approved by one is to be disapproved by the other. It's a dangerous place to be. It's a dangerous thing. And so the thing that we really need to take away from when we idolize approval, we ask people to fill a need that only God can satisfy. And so this exhausting race, this pull back and forth, this constant trying to, okay, I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this person to this person. I need to be this to this over here. Like we, it's exhausting. And you're always going to be left feeling less than because it highlights the differences and typically what we would assume as weaknesses where we've dropped the ball. It brings those to the surface. Because people, and again, let me reiterate, I want to make sure that you're not hearing the wrong thing in this. Approval, it's not bad. It just can never serve you the way that we're asking it to. Because we start looking at broken people to fill this need that we were designed to have filled by God. And so approval from people just creates this fragile pursuit of never good enoughness, never quite arrived yet. The best person that I've seen, the best story throughout scripture that I've seen to kind of illustrate the difference of a life defined by the fear of rejection and a life defined and transformed by the approval of Jesus is with the Samaritan woman. Let me read for you just a second, then we'll talk about it a little bit. This is in John chapter 4. If you have your Bibles, you can turn there. We're going to put it on the big digital Bible in the sky, too, so you're more than welcome to read that one. But in John 4, starting in verse, I'm going to start in 4, but it from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, will you give me a drink? His disciples had gone into town to buy food. Verse 9 says, the Samaritan woman said to him, you're a Jew and I'm a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink? For Jews did not associate with Samaritans. If you've been in or around church very much, you've probably heard this story. Even if you haven't been around, you may have heard reference to it. But in case you aren't familiar with some of the implications of the details that John gave, right? So the fact that it says she went to the well at noon says a lot about the life that this lady was living and the life that she was avoiding. So going to gather water was a common practice from the women in that day, but they would typically go one to two times a day, but it would always be in the morning or just before sunset because it's a cooler portion of the day, right? So, but not just was it practically better to go at those times, but it was also a time and an opportunity for community. Like there was a lot of ridiculous restrictions on women in that day and the way that they could function in public and especially around men and things of that sort. So whenever they would gather at the well, it was an opportunity for them to just be. Like they could hang out. They could hang out in their community. They could have conversations. They could talk about whatever it is they needed to talk about. They were just free to be there. And the fact that this lady, when at noon, shows us she was intentionally trying to avoid the people from her own town. Like she went at a time when she wasn't expecting anyone else to be there. And not only that, there's a lot of scholars and a lot of theologians point to that there was a lot of springs of water, a lot of wells closer to her village that she could have went to. So not only did she go at a time when she was expecting not to see someone, just in case, I'm going to go to a place further off. Like we don't know if, we don't know for certain if it was an idol of approval that she was dealing with. But what we do have a very good indicator of is she was avoiding rejection. She was avoiding the fingers. She was avoiding the conversations. Because what we find out a little later in the story is the life that she's living, some of the mistakes that she's made, some of the things that she's done would have been frowned upon by her community. And so what we can see in her life is that she is being shaped by an avoidance of rejection, which is a good indicator that there's a lack of approval in her world. I struggle with this. I struggle with the idol of approval much more than I'm proud of. Like, it rears its head up often. Like, I just need people to like me, partially because I'm so awesome, but also because the, like, no, there's just this, it's just something that pops up. Like, all of the idols do. I think they were all susceptible at different times. But this is the one that seems to pop up with me more often than not. And I was having a conversation with a couple of, actually three different people. So y'all are the fourth person I've ever told. Don't tell anybody else. An analogy that I used is with every interaction, every person, there's a brick wall. There's an imaginary brick wall. And the less bricks that are on that wall is an opportunity for me to come over. It's you accepting me, you bringing me in, you respecting me, you thinking whatever it is that I need you to think of me. It's I need you to love me, I need you to welcome me, I need you to do whatever. The less bricks that are there, the closer that I get to being fully brought in by someone. But the more bricks that are there is just the opposite, right? The more bricks that are there, it's more of a reason for you to not accept me. It's more of a reason for you not to like me. And so what I had told these people in this analogy was it feels like at times every conversation, every interaction, it doesn't matter if it's at like a rehearsal, it doesn't matter if we're hanging out and passing and going to grab lunch, if I'm passing you and barely talking to you in Walmart, in certain seasons of my life, it feels like every conversation I'm carrying a brick. I'm either putting a brick onto the wall and giving you a reason to not take me, to not like me, to not love me, to not accept me, or I'm taking a brick off of the wall. It's an exhausting pursuit. You're constantly carrying this weight of being whatever people need you to be, whatever people want you to be, oftentimes at the sacrifice of your own personal convictions, your own personal beliefs, your own ideas of who you want to be. We've all stood on the other side of a decision of regret. Like, why did I do that? For me, in my life, most of those decisions have been on the other side of, I've got to either remove a brick or I've got to put one up. That's an indicator for me. I didn't realize it until like I was writing this sermon this week, that whenever I feel that weight, whenever these moments start to happen in my life, when I feel like I'm either removing or putting a brick on, it's an indicator that approval is being elevated in my life. Not just simply because there's a need for it, but I'm looking to people for validation. I'm looking to people to affirm that I'm someone. I'm looking for people to help me realize that I am who I need to be and that I'm okay being who I am. I'm looking for people. That's an indicator. I don't know what it would be for you. Maybe that resonates with you. But some other indicators that approval has gotten really high on our list, is moving up the list in terms of desires, is when the one criticism speaks so much louder than 100 compliments. Like, you've got something, you've done something, you believe something, something happened, and there's so many people who are telling you, love that, you killed it, but there's one person, and that voice keeps you awake at night. When the idea of one person not liking you, being disappointed in you, thinking you messed up or that you let down, like it just rattles you to the core. Another indicator would be a lack of confidence, not just in you, but a lack of confidence in decisions that you have made or are making. And so what happens is we seek constant reassurance. I need validation. I need you to affirm that I'm doing the right thing. And honestly, in those seasons when approval is way up there, you can't make a decision without getting input from other people. These are indicators that we're seeking approval from a broken people. We're seeking approval from people who can never feel that need. This is what's happening in the world of the Samaritan woman. She's living a life avoiding the whispers, avoiding the reminders that she's not good enough, avoiding the reminders of the mistakes that she's made, and then she talks to Jesus. And this conversation changes everything in her world. Now, so something to understand, you saw that she was surprised that Jesus even approached her and talked to her. So remember, she's trying to avoid people. She's trying to avoid the people of her town. So she's going even further than what she needed to. And as she approaches Jesus, she's certainly thinking, okay, today's not the day that I'm gonna get a break from it. Because in this conversation, in this man, like with the man and woman, there was so many reasons why she would feel rejected by him. As she approached and as she got closer, as she saw that not just is he a man, but he's a Jew, as she got closer, she realized, oh man, there's religious tensions here that go back thousands of years. There's racial tensions there. There's cultural tensions that say men are not allowed to talk to women in public. Most husbands didn't even talk to their wives in public, much less a single man talking to a single woman in public. It just didn't happen. And as she got closer and closer and closer to the well, what had to start resonating with her a little bit more is, okay, today is going to be another day, just like the rest. But that's not what happened. Jesus talked to her. He broke cultural and religious norms, and he treated her like a person. Treated her not like she just had something, that he wanted something from her, but she had value in her world. And then there's a funny part of the conversation where they're talking about the water, and he's like, Jesus tells her, hey, so the water I've got, like, you won't ever be thirsty again. She's like, you ain't even got a bucket, man. Like, you asked me for water. How you got water? Like, what are you talking about? And then this happens in verse 14. Maybe not 14, 15. Actually, I'm going to go to 13. Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. Whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst. This is quite true. So she goes and approaches and has this conversation, and then comes the question, right? Jesus brings up this very thing that has shaped her life. Jesus brings up what is likely the very thing that is causing her to feel rejected by the people in her town and need to be approved. It's the very thing that's made her feel not good enough. And Jesus, you had to bring that up? Like, you can't really, like, Jesus knows everything everything. He knows everything. Like he just told her. So you have to kind of ask this question. Like Jesus, why did you have to bring this up? I really don't think it was because he wanted to remind her. See, you're not quite perfect, are you? See, here's this thing in your life. You got to get this worked out. You got to fix it. She didn't need reminding of that. I think that Jesus brought up the question because he wanted to let her know, you don't have to do that here. You don't have to pretend with me. You don't have to feel the weight of your failures. You don't have to feel like you are the sum total of your mistakes. You don't have to feel like you have to be someone else in order to be accepted, approved, and loved by me. For the first time in probably a very long time. This lady who has been rejected time and time again comes to a conversation with someone who knows everything and welcomes her in. And suddenly there's a rest. I don't have to chase. I don't have to be. I can just be. I don't have to conform to what your idea of good and bad is. I can just rest in the approval of Jesus. And it changes her life forever. You can come on up here. It changes her life forever. What's incredible is you read throughout the rest of the story, there's a boldness and confidence after finding this approval that she runs back to the town. She runs, she leaves her water jug. She runs back to town, back to the place where she has faced rejection over and over again, back to the place where she's reminded you're not good enough, back to the place that people have told her and made her feel like you don't belong here. You're not one of us. You aren't good enough. We'll never approve of you until you fix everything. She's a boldness and a confidence that takes her back to that place and resting in the approval of Jesus, she becomes the person these people need in their life. She has influence on her community. She has influence in the people's lives around her. Resting. Listen to me. This is just an aside. I said I wasn't going to say it, but I want to. And so here we are. The people in your life that you feel like you have to measure up for, the people in your life who rely on you and depend on you, the people in your life who need something from you, what they need from you is to be the person that Jesus is asking you to be. Jesus is not going to lead you to be a poor wife, a poor husband. This lady, this, the first evangelist, I think she, she was, she was the first person to hear, hey, wait, you're the Messiah? And she went back to her, and she had influence in the lives of people who wanted nothing to do with her. When the voice of Jesus became the voice that she rested in, when the voice of Jesus became the voice that she found her approval, she found her identity, she found her life in, it changed her world. She realized that she didn't have to be all things to all people. There were certainly still people there, still people in her community that didn't respect, that didn't like. They may have still whispered. There were certainly people in her community who still didn't listen to what she had to say. But the beautiful part about it is after she found rest in the approval of Jesus, she didn't need them to anymore. They were no longer shaping who she became. Whose voice are you listening to? In certain seasons of your life, whose voice are you listening to? Do you know what Jesus thinks about you? Like, do you know what God thinks about you right now, knowing you fully? Ephesians 2.10 is one of my favorite verses. It's the Apostle Paul. He says that you are God's masterpiece chosen in Christ Jesus to do the good works that he prepared for you ahead of time. He says you are God's masterpiece. There's some versions that say worksmanship, craftsmanship, but the Greek word that Paul used there is poe. Let me look at it. I want to make sure I say it right. Well, I'm going to read it. Those are the right letters. I'm going to say it wrong. Poema. He says, you are God's poema. It's where we get our word poem from. Do you know what God thinks about you? You are his poetry. You are God's poem. His work of art that before time began, he loved. You do all of the things that you do, but do it from an awareness that you have of God who looks at you as his work of art. Let's pray. God, thank you so much. Thank you for the love, the life, the grace that you offer. God, there's going to be seasons, some of us more often than others, when the need and desire for approval begins to become our focus, when image management becomes the thing that we work on the most because we need people to let us in. God, what I ask you to do is just with the softness and gentleness of your Holy Spirit, remind us. Remind us who we are in you. Remind us of the life, the freedom, and the rest that we found in you as our Savior. And let us live our life, God, from a position of approval from God instead of seeking the approval of man. We trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.

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