Colossians

All right, well, good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks so much for making grace a part of your Sunday. If I haven't gotten a chance to meet you, I would love to do that in the lobby after the service. I'll be right there at those double doors. Please don't hesitate to introduce yourself and teach me your name and give me about three or four weeks and I'll try to remember it. A big thank you to Kyle, our worship pastor, who stepped in for me last week. About 6 a.m. last Sunday morning, I had been up most of the night and texted Gibby, our worship pastor, hey man, I'm not going to make it. And I went back through some sermons and I found one from last January where I talked about community. I knew it was going to be small group Sunday, so I said this will be appropriate. I said just show this one from last January and we'll be fine. And so then I turned on the TV around 10 o'clock just to see how things were going, and I was as surprised as you to see Kyle up here once the bumper video got done. But he did a great job. I'm so grateful for him. It's kind of a rite of passage as a teacher and communicator to find out the morning of that you're actually preaching that day. And so it's a good experience for everybody. But I'm grateful to him. This week, we're going to continue right on in our series. I was going to preach about marriage last week and prayers for our marriage. And we decided to continue in that series. Next week, we're going to do prayers for our finances, and then we're going to get into a series in Mark that's going to carry us all the way through Easter. So I'm very much looking forward to spending an extended amount of time in the Gospel of Mark with you. But this morning, we look at prayers, a prayer for our marriages. And I don't often do sermons on marriage. And I'll be honest with you, the main reason I don't often specifically target marriage in a church service, probably to our detriment. I should probably do it more. But the main reason I don't is just because I know that even though, as I look out, most of us in this room are married. I hope happily so. Most of us are married, but I'm also aware that we have single people in our congregation as well. And some of you are single right now by choice. You'd like to be married one day, but you're not yet, and that's fine. Or you'd like to be married again someday, and you're not right now, and that's okay. Some of you are widows or widowers, and for different reasons and different walks of life, we have single people in our midst. And so in doing a sermon on marriage, I always worry about ostracizing that part of our population, and so I'm sorry for that. So this morning, I'm going to unapologetically focus on marriage and what God's role for marriage is and what our purpose within our marriages are according to Scripture. And so I would say to you, if you're a single person this morning who's listening to me, if you're watching online and you haven't turned it off yet, I would say if you're not married and you want to be, then hang on to this for the kind of marriage that you want and the kind of spouse that you want to find, the kind of spouse that you want to be. If you're not married and you don't want to be, then the best I can do is to say hang on to this so you can advise your married friends or just open up the Bible and start reading it for the next 30 minutes. That'll be great for you too. With that caveat, let's approach this topic of marriage and ask ourselves, what is God's purpose for marriage? And what is our role supposed to be within our marriages? Now, I don't think that there's any passage that addresses God's purpose for marriage and our role within marriage more clearly than Ephesians chapter 5. Really starting, I believe, in verse 21. Yes, verse 21 through the end of the chapter in verse 32. Now, in Ephesians, sorry, Ephesians chapter 5. In Ephesians and in Colossians and in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes about what theologians refer to as the household codes. In Christ, in church, in this new way of life, in this new way of understanding faith, here are the codes by which we should live within our households. Here's how wives and husbands should interact and children and parents should interact. And there's even a portion about slaves and masters and how they should interact. And so he introduces what we refer to as the household codes. And these, we should understand, are revolutionary for the time. Because at this point in history, it's a heavily patriarchal society. And marriage is really a one-way street. Marriage is really about the man. The woman is ancillary to the marriage. She's almost very close to property, if not just out-and-out property. And so it's within that context that these household codes are introduced. And what we see is that they are revolutionary for the time in which they are introduced. But for us this morning, as we look at them, I want us to be thinking, what's God's purpose for marriage? What does God want to see happen in my marriage? And what is my role within that marriage? How does God want to use me to bring about his desired outcome for us and for my spouse? And again, I don't think that this issue is addressed anywhere more clearly than it is in Ephesians chapter 5. So I want to read to you, beginning in verse one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I am talking about Christ and the church. In the verse 33, however, each one of you must also, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. There's a lot packed in there. We could do a series from those verses. But I want us to see the main priority for marriage, What Paul depicts, we believe through the instruction of God, as the main purpose for marriage, which is to prepare the bride for the bridegroom. Which is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, who laid himself down for it, that he might prepare it, wash it, so that it might be presented without blemish or spot to God on the day of atonement, on the day of glory, that we might present one another as blameless to God at the end of this life. And so here's what I'm going to do with this passage. And I just want to admit this up front so we all know what I'm doing. I've always tried to teach you like you are intelligent adults who have the Holy Spirit. Most of you are adults. Most of you are intelligent. And if you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit. So I'm going to talk to you that way. I am taking an interpretive and theological license in my application of this passage this morning. This passage on its surface seems to be talking directly to the husbands with the line at the end that says, and wives seek that you respect your husbands. But what I believe about this passage is that there is an implied reciprocity. That if it is my job as a husband to present my wife without blemish or spot, to do what I can to prepare her for heaven, to do what I can to love her towards Christ, then it is likewise the responsibility of my wife to love me towards Jesus. That there is a reciprocital expectation in this passage. I don't even know if reciprocital is a word, but there you go. There's that expectation in this passage, I believe, that both parties would seek to love each other towards Christ. And if you can't go there with me, and you go, listen, man, on the surface, it seems like it's talking to the husbands. That's how I'm going to take it at face value. Okay, that's fine. Then I'm just talking to the husbands today. But by the way, husbands, you don't have to respect your wives because there's no reciprocity in the passage. But that's the license that I'm going to take is that this is for both of us. And if it's for both of us, here's what this passage clearly says is the responsibility of each spouse in a marriage. Okay. This is the purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is to sanctify you, to make you more like Christ in character. I'm going to sit more on that in a minute, to make you more like Christ in character, to move you through this spirit, this process of spiritual maturation. And that as such, as the spouse, here's what this passage is teaching us. And we're going to unpack this. You, husbands, you, wives, if you're married, you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's lives. If you're married, this passage teaches us that you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's life. Now, let's stop and talk about this word sanctification, because this is one of those spongy church words that we hear a lot, and you church people probably know that word, you've heard it, but if I were to make you stand up right now and be like, Karen, why don't you stand up and tell us what sanctification means? You'd be like, oh my gosh, I hate you. I've never come back to this church in my whole life, right? Nobody wants to do that right now. But it's a word that shows up again and again in Scripture. It's a word that is referred to again and again in Scripture. And it's a summary word for what happens during our life. So it's important that we understand what sanctification is. It's a very simple definition, and there's no blank for this, but if you want to write it down because it's helpful, you can write this down. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. We see throughout Scripture these encouragements that we should be Christ-like, that we should be like Jesus. We pray and we sing, more of you and less of me. More of you, Christ, less of me. If all I ever get is you, that's good enough. I want more of you, less of me. We pray that we would become Christ-like. We pray for our children to become Christ-like. These are all references to what Scripture calls sanctification, the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is an unavoidable portion of the salvation process. See, a lot of us think of salvation as this inflection point, this point in time, this moment in time in which we become saved. But scripture actually teaches us that salvation is a process that begins at the point of justification or some would argue predestination and then continues through sanctification until glorification. And here's how I know that I'm right about this. I'm not making it up. That's basically a direct quote of Romans chapter 8 verse 29. We know verse 28. We love that verse. For all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Great. But 29 says, for those whom he predestined, he also called. Those whom he called, he justified. Those whom he justified, he sanctified. Those whom he sanctified, he glorified. So let's look at that process. Jesus, God, through his spirit, calls us to himself. He calls us with his Holy Spirit. He chisels away at our blind and darkened heart. He softens us to the good news and the mystery of the gospel until one day our soul is in a place where we're willing to accept Christ as our Savior. We repent of who we thought Jesus was. We accept who Jesus says he is, and we step forward in faith. This looks a bunch of different ways and a bunch of different traditions. We pray the believer's prayer or that we pray the sinner's prayer. We ask Jesus into our heart. We confess Jesus as our savior. However it is you want to phrase it, this for many of us is the point of salvation. It's what we think of as the time we got saved, but that's really the justification process. So God, God calls us then at that moment of what we would call our salvation, that's really justification. That's when we accept the blood of Christ as a cover over our sins. And God looks at us and he does not judge us based on our actions. He judges us based on the righteousness of Christ and says that he sees us clothed in the righteousness of Christ. This is Isaiah chapter 1 where he puts his arm around us and he says, Come now, let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. At the point of justification, Jesus, by hanging on the cross, has made our sins as white as snow. He has covered over us with our righteousness. And God in heaven looks down on us and he sees not us, but he sees his Son and we are justified in the court of divine righteousness and made worthy of heaven through the blood of Christ. When we accept that, we are justified. After we are justified, we are sanctified. After we are sanctified, we are glorified. We are glorified when we meet our Father in heaven and our glorified bodies, when we do not need faith anymore because we're looking our Savior in the eye. We are glorified in heaven. So that means that between the time of justification in your life, the moment you became a Christian, to the point of glorification, the moment you meet God in eternity forever. Everything that happens in between that is your sanctification. That God is using day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade to slowly chisel you into someone who is more like him in character, whose heart beats along with him for the things he wants. We are told that if we delight ourselves in the law of the Lord, that walk with God through the process of sanctification, our heart begins to beat with his so that the things that we desire are the things that he desires and he brings those about for the good of us and those who are called according to his purpose. This is the process of sanctification. Spending our entire life growing closer and closer and closer to Jesus. Now this process can be thwarted. It can get short-circuited by sin and by other ailments, by the sin and the weight that so easily entangles, according to Hebrews 12, verse 1. This process can get sidelined. But as Christians, we are perpetually going through the process of sanctification until we enter glorification. This means that in our 70s, our faith and our depths of insight and understanding and our knowledge of right and wrong and good and evil and being filled with the knowledge of God and the maturity with which we walk and the love that we express and the selflessness that we live with and the humility in which we walk should be vastly different than it was in our 30s. Because God has had 40 years to sanctify us and make us more like his son in character. So that in our 70s we ought to walk with so much more wisdom and godliness than we did in our 30s. Not because we can't be godly in our 30s, but just because he's had 40 more years to sanctify us. That's the call of the Christian life. And what Paul is saying about marriage is that your spouse ought to be the chief agent of sanctification in your life. Meaning, your husband or your wife has been placed in your life by God to be the primary tool he uses to chisel away at your rough edges and reveal within you the person that he's always wanted you to become. They are the primary tool that God uses to chisel away the elements of the world that are still a part of you so that your character might emerge as more Christ-like. That is the purpose of marriage. If you are married, God's primary purpose for you in that marriage is to use you as the primary tool that he chooses to make your spouse more like him in character. That is the role of a husband or a wife. And nothing short of it. And here's what I think is interesting about that point. Here's what I think is interesting. I think that if I were to sit down with any of you over coffee who are married. And say, do you consider yourself a good wife? Do you consider yourself a good husband? You would say yes or no. You would say, you know, for the most part, I think I'm pretty good, or gosh, I haven't been doing great lately, or some of you, I hope, would say, yeah, I think I'm nailing it. That's great. Some of you would be like, I'm failing miserably. Okay. Whatever your answer was in how you're doing, good or bad, neutral or not, the next question is the important one. How good are you doing at being a husband? I think I'm doing okay here. I think I've got some things to work on there. I think I can get better. But overall, I think I've been pretty good. Okay. Why? That's the important question. Why do you think you're a good husband? Why do you think you're a bad husband? Why do you think you've been a good wife? What's your criteria? Why do you think you've been a bad wife? I think a lot of us, if we had to make lists, even if we take your marriage out of it, and I were to ask you, what makes a husband a good husband? If I were to ask you, think of somebody that you think has a great marriage, and they're a great husband, and they're a great wife. What makes them great? What are the qualities? I think we would say things like, well, he loves her really well. He's unselfish with her. He's patient with her. They've been married for 40 years. He's faithful to her. She's faithful to him. She's patient with him. She supports him. Or if they're bad, we would say, well, he's selfish. He doesn't see her. He pretends that the yard needs work for eight hours on a Saturday while she deals with three-year-olds. She doesn't support him. She gets on to him all the time. He ignores her. How far down the list, here's the important part. If I were to ask you what makes you or what makes that person a good husband or a good wife? How many items would you list off before you said that man's a good husband because the way that he loves his wife loves her closer to Jesus? That man's a good husband because his wife is an incredible believer because of the way that he's loved her towards him. How many of you, how far down the list would we have to get before you said that woman is a wonderful wife to that man? Because she has been used by God over and over again and she steps into her role of sanctification in his life. And because of her influence in his life, that man is walking more closely with Jesus than he would have without her. How far down our list of good or bad husband or wife criteria do we need to go before we get to the very first criteria laid out by God in Scripture? Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Present her holy and blameless before the throne. That's tops. That's the number one thing. That's the standard. And yet, so many of us, and listen, well, I'll say this in a second. So many of us have that so far down our list of what a responsible spouse should do that it wouldn't even go mentioned, that we haven't even thought of it. And here's what I want to be really honest with you about, okay? As I prepared this sermon, and I was confronted with this standard from Scripture of what my role as a husband is. I was deeply, deeply convicted. And I'm not saying that hyperbolically. I'm not saying that for show. I'm not saying that like, well, you know, we could all improve a little bit. I could too, so I'm going to act convicted here so you feel safe in your conviction. No. I was deeply convicted and went home and apologized to Jen for not being the husband I was going to preach that I needed to be. I apologized to her because I'm about to come out. I might not be much, but I like to think I have some integrity. And I'm not going to come in here and look you men in the eye and tell you what Scripture calls you to be, knowing good and well I've fallen short of that in my own house. So the first thing I did is I went home. I didn't know she was going to be in the fourth and fifth grade room this morning. That makes this part a lot easier. I thought she was going to be sitting right there. And that if I didn't apologize to her, she was going to be sitting there going, what are you talking about, man? There have been seasons where I have done this by God's grace. There have also been seasons when I have not. And so if you are convicted this morning as I lay out the standard that is set forth in scripture for what marriage is and what a spouse ought to be in that marriage. If that's hard to hear and you feel that you've fallen short, I am the captain of your team, pal. I'm with you. I am not preaching this as if I were on some marital mountaintop and I figured it out and I would like for you to get on my level. I am preaching this here. Saying, hey, this is what scripture calls us to. We've all got to step up together. This is what we're called to. So let's be that. To that end, as I was talking through this with Jen this week, she brought up, yeah, that's good, that makes sense. I like that. If both parties are spiritually engaged, it's a really good and helpful thing to tell the couples of grace. I like it. But what do you tell the spouse who is spiritually engaged, whose spouse is spiritually disengaged? To put a finer point on it, more often than not, what do you tell the women who care about Jesus and would really, really love for their husband to be this for them and are trying desperately to be that for their husband, but they can't get his attention? Now, sometimes it's flipped. Sometimes it's the man who's spiritually engaged and the woman who's spiritually disengaged, but that's the exception in my experience in churches. So what do we tell those people? Well, I would tell you two things. First, sometimes when we're unequally yoked in that way, it's our job, and 1 Corinthians speaks to this, it's our job to quietly, patiently love them towards Christ until the Holy Spirit convicts them and they're able to come home and apologize and then step into who they need to be. Sometimes it's our job to patiently wait and pray and love them towards Jesus when they're not able to love us towards Jesus. And we wait on them to step into what they're supposed to be. The other thing I would say is this. I'm going to quote, I wish Keith Cathcart were here, one of my buddies. Keck, you'll have to tell him to listen to this sermon. Because I'm going to quote Mike Tomlin, the coach of the Steelers, and Keith is going to lose his ever-loving mind. I quoted Tomlin in the sermon. But Coach Tomlin is a coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's an incredible leader of men. He's an incredible leader. He's one of the all-time greatest coaches. I have a large amount of respect for him, and he's got a lot of these quick little one-liners that are really good. But one of the things I like about what he says about Pittsburgh Steelers football is the standard is the standard. The standard is the standard. The standard in Pittsburgh is Super Bowls. We do not settle for divisional championships, which means, those of you who are not sports inclined, marginal success. We do not settle for marginal success. We are number one or bust. If you don't know what the Super Bowl is, this is America, man. Get with it. Also, go Bills. Yeah, there we go, baby. Mike Thomas says the standard is the standard. Meaning, we have the highest possible standard in our organization. We have the highest standard for what we want to achieve as a team, and we have the highest possible standard for what we expect from each position group and each portion of this team. The standard is the standard, and the standard does not change based on your feelings about your inability to reach it. The standard does not change based on previous performance. The standard does not change based upon how you feel. The standard is the standard. We confront it with honesty and we meet it or don't, but the standard doesn't change. That's how we will approach marriage. The standard is the standard. And the standard is that it is my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus. That's the standard. If you are married, whether you knew it or not when you stood at the altar, what you accepted is this mantle. It is now and forevermore my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus Christ. And here's why it's so important to accept this mantle because people come and go in our lives, man. Jen and I have been together since I was 20 and she was 19. I'm 43. She's 32. I'm just kidding. I'm just not going to tell you her age. I'm 43. We've been together a long time. There have been people, men, in that season, in those years, in those decades, who have come into my life and have been more of a catalyst for change and sanctification in my life than she was at the time. But that flares out. People come and go. And sometimes God in his grace uses them to compel you and to convict you in wonderful ways towards a deeper relationship with him. But day in and day out, year in and year out, she is the presence in my life. She is the one who sees me wake up and go to sleep. She is the one that God has placed there to be used as an agent to change me. And when she does, and when she engages in that, it is so powerful, I can't describe it to you. And that is our sacred duty, to love our spouses towards Jesus. And listen, if you feel like that's too tall an order, if you feel like you haven't done that in a long time and you're not sure if you can do that and you don't know how to do that, what I would say to you is I love you so much and I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but what I would say to you is listen, the standard is the standard. That's your sacred duty. Accept it or don't. But if you do not accept your sacred duty to love your spouse towards Christ and be the chief agent of sanctification in their life, then you are absconding on your commitment as a husband or a wife. And if this brings upon you a deep conviction, good. Sit in it. Your wife and your husband or your husband will benefit from that. React to it. Respond to it. Accept it. Step into it. Your kids will be better off for your conviction and your acceptance of this mantle. You will have a marriage that they look at as worthy of emulation if you will receive this mantle, this standard from Paul. It is our sacred duty to love our spouses towards Jesus. Full stop. That's what we must do. Now, as I wrap up, I want to give you guys just a few practical things to do to keep this standard the standard in your marriage. I want to give you a couple. So we go, okay, I accept this. It is my job to love my spouse towards Christ. I accept that mantle. I want to do that. I'm going to be the chief agent of sanctification in their life that I believe you. I want to do it. Let's go. What do I do? What does that practically look like? This is, I'm going to give you four things. So obviously there's more to do than this. This is not an exhaustive list, but four quick things that you can do in your marriages starting right now, starting today to love your spouse towards Christ. Four quick things. Number one, hold them accountable for accountability. Hold them accountable for accountability. I have never thought it's the best idea for your husband or your wife to be your accountability partner. If you decide that you want to develop a new discipline of waking up every day and praying and reading the Bible, spending time in God's word and spending time in God's presence through prayer, if that's what you want to do, probably don't tell your wife that this is what I'm going to do. And when I don't do it, I would like you to call me out on it because of all the other things that exist in your life that she nagged you about and that you get mad about. Let's not add one more. All right. Similarly, wives don't need husbands hounding them about one more thing that they were supposed to do. All right. So let's, let's let other people hold us accountable for things like that. And let's let our spouses hold us accountable for accountability. I've told you before, and this was actually the sermon that I thought you were going to watch last week. It's okay that you didn't. But in that sermon from last year, I talked about the idea of sacred spaces, having spaces in our life, two or three people at the most who know everything about us, who love you and love Jesus and are given permission to tell you the truth about yourself. I shared with you then that there's two men that I meet with, two men from the church that I meet with pretty much once a month. And the very first thing we ask is, what are you struggling with? What's stopping you from following God as well as you can right now? What's going on in your life? Is there anything that you need to share? And it's an opportunity to be held accountable for anything and everything that may be going on in our life that is keeping us from pursuing Jesus the way we need to do it. Jen needs to hold me accountable to go and meet with them and tell them the truth, but she doesn't need to be my primary accountability agent in that, if that makes sense. But spouses, responsible ones, hold each other accountable for accountability. So a wonderful conversation to have in your car at lunch, tonight when the kids go down, whenever, might be where is your accountability in your life and how can we encourage each other to find that more. The second thing we can do to love our spouse towards Christ and accept this mantle is to take their spiritual temperature. Just take their spiritual temperature. Just know how they're doing. If I were to ask any of you who are married, how's the spiritual health of your wife? How's the spiritual health of your husband? How are they doing? How good of an answer could you give me? How good of an answer would you like to be able to give? If you're going to see yourself as sincerely the chief agent of sanctification in their life as bestowed upon you by God, how good of an answer to that question do you think you need to be able to give? And is it good enough right now? All right, moving quickly. Next thing. Love them sacrificially, not selfishly. Love them selflessly, not selfishly. Often we fall into these habits as married people where we love transactionally. I'm going to love you like this, so you love me like this. A husband might think to himself, I'm going to be on the Saturday. I'm going to be present with the kids on Saturday. I'm going to love by cleaning things I haven't been asked to clean. I'm going to do everything I need to do. I'm going to do all the things that she likes for me to do. I'm going to love her in that way so that maybe later when the kids go down, she can express love in a different way. That's what I'm going to do. And listen, that's a sound strategy. Okay, tried and true. Stick with it. I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying there needs to be more to love than that. Loving selfishly is loving with the expectation of reciprocity. I'm going to love in this way, and they're going to love me in this way. But loving selflessly says, no, I'm going to love them because I love them and I want them to see someone that loves them no matter what. We have a quote in our hallway at the top of our stairs from a guy named W.H. Autzen. I have no idea who that is. I've never, ever Googled him a single time. I just really like this quote that I saw at someone else's house, so I had it done for us. And it says, if greater affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. That's sacrificial selfless love in a marriage. If equal affection cannot be, let the greater love be me. So if it's got to be disproportionate, let it be disproportionate in their favor. And I'll tell you how I've seen this lived out. I have a very good friend whose wife is going through, this is understated, an extremely traumatic time in her life that doesn't have anything to do with him. It's just a really, really difficult time. And because of that, rightly so, she has nothing in her cup left to be the mother that she needs to be to their three children. She has nothing in her cup left to be the wife that she needs to be to him. She has nothing to give. And he is choosing day in and day out to love her, to stay faithful to her, to serve her, to step up and to care for the kids and to love her in that way without expectation of reciprocity, without expecting that she's going to turn around and thank him for that. He's just loving her to get her through this season because he loves her. That's loving sacrificially, not selfishly. Love for love's sake. Last one. This one's so simple. It's so simple. Pray for them and with them. Pray for them and with them. Very simply, I'm not going to belabor this because I don't need to. How can we claim to have accepted the mantle of chief agent of sanctification in the life of our spouse if we can't remember the last time we prayed for them? If we're not praying for them every day? How can the Holy Spirit speak into our hearts and in our minds what they need and where they're at and how to best pray for them if we don't give him space to do that. How can we claim that Jesus is the center of our home, the center of our marriage, and that our marriage is being used to sanctify one another towards Christ if we're not praying with each other with a great degree of regularity? I don't need to belabor this point. You guys know it's right. I know it's right. If we want to love our spouse towards Christ, then we ought to pray for them and with them with a high degree of regularity. Yes? So that's my hope and prayer for you and for your marriages. That you'll accept the standard as the standard. And the standard is you are to be the chief agent of sanctification, of the process of spiritual maturity, becoming more like Christ in character in your spouse's life, and that it is your sacred duty to step into that role. So I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray that you would accept that mantle and that you would walk with humility and meekness as you seek to love your spouse towards Jesus. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for who you are and how you love us. God, we thank you for our husbands and our wives. God, I thank you publicly for my wife and the ways that she has faithfully loved me towards you. Help me love her towards you. God, for those of us who walk away convicted, I pray that we would sit in that conviction, that we would accept it, that we would be spurned on by it. And that from today, you would produce in all of us an ardent desire to see our spouse come to know you more. Help the husbands in this room to love their wives sacrificially. To love them well, to pray for them. To lay down their lives for them. Help the wives in this room to love their husbands faithfully and earnestly, believing in them as they pray them and love them towards you. God, be with the marriages in this room. We praise you for the good ones that reflect you. We lift up the hard ones and ask that they would reflect you. And we ask that you would be with us as we go from here. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right, well, good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks so much for making grace a part of your Sunday. If I haven't gotten a chance to meet you, I would love to do that in the lobby after the service. I'll be right there at those double doors. Please don't hesitate to introduce yourself and teach me your name and give me about three or four weeks and I'll try to remember it. A big thank you to Kyle, our worship pastor, who stepped in for me last week. About 6 a.m. last Sunday morning, I had been up most of the night and texted Gibby, our worship pastor, hey man, I'm not going to make it. And I went back through some sermons and I found one from last January where I talked about community. I knew it was going to be small group Sunday, so I said this will be appropriate. I said just show this one from last January and we'll be fine. And so then I turned on the TV around 10 o'clock just to see how things were going, and I was as surprised as you to see Kyle up here once the bumper video got done. But he did a great job. I'm so grateful for him. It's kind of a rite of passage as a teacher and communicator to find out the morning of that you're actually preaching that day. And so it's a good experience for everybody. But I'm grateful to him. This week, we're going to continue right on in our series. I was going to preach about marriage last week and prayers for our marriage. And we decided to continue in that series. Next week, we're going to do prayers for our finances, and then we're going to get into a series in Mark that's going to carry us all the way through Easter. So I'm very much looking forward to spending an extended amount of time in the Gospel of Mark with you. But this morning, we look at prayers, a prayer for our marriages. And I don't often do sermons on marriage. And I'll be honest with you, the main reason I don't often specifically target marriage in a church service, probably to our detriment. I should probably do it more. But the main reason I don't is just because I know that even though, as I look out, most of us in this room are married. I hope happily so. Most of us are married, but I'm also aware that we have single people in our congregation as well. And some of you are single right now by choice. You'd like to be married one day, but you're not yet, and that's fine. Or you'd like to be married again someday, and you're not right now, and that's okay. Some of you are widows or widowers, and for different reasons and different walks of life, we have single people in our midst. And so in doing a sermon on marriage, I always worry about ostracizing that part of our population, and so I'm sorry for that. So this morning, I'm going to unapologetically focus on marriage and what God's role for marriage is and what our purpose within our marriages are according to Scripture. And so I would say to you, if you're a single person this morning who's listening to me, if you're watching online and you haven't turned it off yet, I would say if you're not married and you want to be, then hang on to this for the kind of marriage that you want and the kind of spouse that you want to find, the kind of spouse that you want to be. If you're not married and you don't want to be, then the best I can do is to say hang on to this so you can advise your married friends or just open up the Bible and start reading it for the next 30 minutes. That'll be great for you too. With that caveat, let's approach this topic of marriage and ask ourselves, what is God's purpose for marriage? And what is our role supposed to be within our marriages? Now, I don't think that there's any passage that addresses God's purpose for marriage and our role within marriage more clearly than Ephesians chapter 5. Really starting, I believe, in verse 21. Yes, verse 21 through the end of the chapter in verse 32. Now, in Ephesians, sorry, Ephesians chapter 5. In Ephesians and in Colossians and in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes about what theologians refer to as the household codes. In Christ, in church, in this new way of life, in this new way of understanding faith, here are the codes by which we should live within our households. Here's how wives and husbands should interact and children and parents should interact. And there's even a portion about slaves and masters and how they should interact. And so he introduces what we refer to as the household codes. And these, we should understand, are revolutionary for the time. Because at this point in history, it's a heavily patriarchal society. And marriage is really a one-way street. Marriage is really about the man. The woman is ancillary to the marriage. She's almost very close to property, if not just out-and-out property. And so it's within that context that these household codes are introduced. And what we see is that they are revolutionary for the time in which they are introduced. But for us this morning, as we look at them, I want us to be thinking, what's God's purpose for marriage? What does God want to see happen in my marriage? And what is my role within that marriage? How does God want to use me to bring about his desired outcome for us and for my spouse? And again, I don't think that this issue is addressed anywhere more clearly than it is in Ephesians chapter 5. So I want to read to you, beginning in verse one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I am talking about Christ and the church. In the verse 33, however, each one of you must also, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. There's a lot packed in there. We could do a series from those verses. But I want us to see the main priority for marriage, What Paul depicts, we believe through the instruction of God, as the main purpose for marriage, which is to prepare the bride for the bridegroom. Which is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, who laid himself down for it, that he might prepare it, wash it, so that it might be presented without blemish or spot to God on the day of atonement, on the day of glory, that we might present one another as blameless to God at the end of this life. And so here's what I'm going to do with this passage. And I just want to admit this up front so we all know what I'm doing. I've always tried to teach you like you are intelligent adults who have the Holy Spirit. Most of you are adults. Most of you are intelligent. And if you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit. So I'm going to talk to you that way. I am taking an interpretive and theological license in my application of this passage this morning. This passage on its surface seems to be talking directly to the husbands with the line at the end that says, and wives seek that you respect your husbands. But what I believe about this passage is that there is an implied reciprocity. That if it is my job as a husband to present my wife without blemish or spot, to do what I can to prepare her for heaven, to do what I can to love her towards Christ, then it is likewise the responsibility of my wife to love me towards Jesus. That there is a reciprocital expectation in this passage. I don't even know if reciprocital is a word, but there you go. There's that expectation in this passage, I believe, that both parties would seek to love each other towards Christ. And if you can't go there with me, and you go, listen, man, on the surface, it seems like it's talking to the husbands. That's how I'm going to take it at face value. Okay, that's fine. Then I'm just talking to the husbands today. But by the way, husbands, you don't have to respect your wives because there's no reciprocity in the passage. But that's the license that I'm going to take is that this is for both of us. And if it's for both of us, here's what this passage clearly says is the responsibility of each spouse in a marriage. Okay. This is the purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is to sanctify you, to make you more like Christ in character. I'm going to sit more on that in a minute, to make you more like Christ in character, to move you through this spirit, this process of spiritual maturation. And that as such, as the spouse, here's what this passage is teaching us. And we're going to unpack this. You, husbands, you, wives, if you're married, you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's lives. If you're married, this passage teaches us that you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's life. Now, let's stop and talk about this word sanctification, because this is one of those spongy church words that we hear a lot, and you church people probably know that word, you've heard it, but if I were to make you stand up right now and be like, Karen, why don't you stand up and tell us what sanctification means? You'd be like, oh my gosh, I hate you. I've never come back to this church in my whole life, right? Nobody wants to do that right now. But it's a word that shows up again and again in Scripture. It's a word that is referred to again and again in Scripture. And it's a summary word for what happens during our life. So it's important that we understand what sanctification is. It's a very simple definition, and there's no blank for this, but if you want to write it down because it's helpful, you can write this down. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. We see throughout Scripture these encouragements that we should be Christ-like, that we should be like Jesus. We pray and we sing, more of you and less of me. More of you, Christ, less of me. If all I ever get is you, that's good enough. I want more of you, less of me. We pray that we would become Christ-like. We pray for our children to become Christ-like. These are all references to what Scripture calls sanctification, the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is an unavoidable portion of the salvation process. See, a lot of us think of salvation as this inflection point, this point in time, this moment in time in which we become saved. But scripture actually teaches us that salvation is a process that begins at the point of justification or some would argue predestination and then continues through sanctification until glorification. And here's how I know that I'm right about this. I'm not making it up. That's basically a direct quote of Romans chapter 8 verse 29. We know verse 28. We love that verse. For all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Great. But 29 says, for those whom he predestined, he also called. Those whom he called, he justified. Those whom he justified, he sanctified. Those whom he sanctified, he glorified. So let's look at that process. Jesus, God, through his spirit, calls us to himself. He calls us with his Holy Spirit. He chisels away at our blind and darkened heart. He softens us to the good news and the mystery of the gospel until one day our soul is in a place where we're willing to accept Christ as our Savior. We repent of who we thought Jesus was. We accept who Jesus says he is, and we step forward in faith. This looks a bunch of different ways and a bunch of different traditions. We pray the believer's prayer or that we pray the sinner's prayer. We ask Jesus into our heart. We confess Jesus as our savior. However it is you want to phrase it, this for many of us is the point of salvation. It's what we think of as the time we got saved, but that's really the justification process. So God, God calls us then at that moment of what we would call our salvation, that's really justification. That's when we accept the blood of Christ as a cover over our sins. And God looks at us and he does not judge us based on our actions. He judges us based on the righteousness of Christ and says that he sees us clothed in the righteousness of Christ. This is Isaiah chapter 1 where he puts his arm around us and he says, Come now, let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. At the point of justification, Jesus, by hanging on the cross, has made our sins as white as snow. He has covered over us with our righteousness. And God in heaven looks down on us and he sees not us, but he sees his Son and we are justified in the court of divine righteousness and made worthy of heaven through the blood of Christ. When we accept that, we are justified. After we are justified, we are sanctified. After we are sanctified, we are glorified. We are glorified when we meet our Father in heaven and our glorified bodies, when we do not need faith anymore because we're looking our Savior in the eye. We are glorified in heaven. So that means that between the time of justification in your life, the moment you became a Christian, to the point of glorification, the moment you meet God in eternity forever. Everything that happens in between that is your sanctification. That God is using day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade to slowly chisel you into someone who is more like him in character, whose heart beats along with him for the things he wants. We are told that if we delight ourselves in the law of the Lord, that walk with God through the process of sanctification, our heart begins to beat with his so that the things that we desire are the things that he desires and he brings those about for the good of us and those who are called according to his purpose. This is the process of sanctification. Spending our entire life growing closer and closer and closer to Jesus. Now this process can be thwarted. It can get short-circuited by sin and by other ailments, by the sin and the weight that so easily entangles, according to Hebrews 12, verse 1. This process can get sidelined. But as Christians, we are perpetually going through the process of sanctification until we enter glorification. This means that in our 70s, our faith and our depths of insight and understanding and our knowledge of right and wrong and good and evil and being filled with the knowledge of God and the maturity with which we walk and the love that we express and the selflessness that we live with and the humility in which we walk should be vastly different than it was in our 30s. Because God has had 40 years to sanctify us and make us more like his son in character. So that in our 70s we ought to walk with so much more wisdom and godliness than we did in our 30s. Not because we can't be godly in our 30s, but just because he's had 40 more years to sanctify us. That's the call of the Christian life. And what Paul is saying about marriage is that your spouse ought to be the chief agent of sanctification in your life. Meaning, your husband or your wife has been placed in your life by God to be the primary tool he uses to chisel away at your rough edges and reveal within you the person that he's always wanted you to become. They are the primary tool that God uses to chisel away the elements of the world that are still a part of you so that your character might emerge as more Christ-like. That is the purpose of marriage. If you are married, God's primary purpose for you in that marriage is to use you as the primary tool that he chooses to make your spouse more like him in character. That is the role of a husband or a wife. And nothing short of it. And here's what I think is interesting about that point. Here's what I think is interesting. I think that if I were to sit down with any of you over coffee who are married. And say, do you consider yourself a good wife? Do you consider yourself a good husband? You would say yes or no. You would say, you know, for the most part, I think I'm pretty good, or gosh, I haven't been doing great lately, or some of you, I hope, would say, yeah, I think I'm nailing it. That's great. Some of you would be like, I'm failing miserably. Okay. Whatever your answer was in how you're doing, good or bad, neutral or not, the next question is the important one. How good are you doing at being a husband? I think I'm doing okay here. I think I've got some things to work on there. I think I can get better. But overall, I think I've been pretty good. Okay. Why? That's the important question. Why do you think you're a good husband? Why do you think you're a bad husband? Why do you think you've been a good wife? What's your criteria? Why do you think you've been a bad wife? I think a lot of us, if we had to make lists, even if we take your marriage out of it, and I were to ask you, what makes a husband a good husband? If I were to ask you, think of somebody that you think has a great marriage, and they're a great husband, and they're a great wife. What makes them great? What are the qualities? I think we would say things like, well, he loves her really well. He's unselfish with her. He's patient with her. They've been married for 40 years. He's faithful to her. She's faithful to him. She's patient with him. She supports him. Or if they're bad, we would say, well, he's selfish. He doesn't see her. He pretends that the yard needs work for eight hours on a Saturday while she deals with three-year-olds. She doesn't support him. She gets on to him all the time. He ignores her. How far down the list, here's the important part. If I were to ask you what makes you or what makes that person a good husband or a good wife? How many items would you list off before you said that man's a good husband because the way that he loves his wife loves her closer to Jesus? That man's a good husband because his wife is an incredible believer because of the way that he's loved her towards him. How many of you, how far down the list would we have to get before you said that woman is a wonderful wife to that man? Because she has been used by God over and over again and she steps into her role of sanctification in his life. And because of her influence in his life, that man is walking more closely with Jesus than he would have without her. How far down our list of good or bad husband or wife criteria do we need to go before we get to the very first criteria laid out by God in Scripture? Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Present her holy and blameless before the throne. That's tops. That's the number one thing. That's the standard. And yet, so many of us, and listen, well, I'll say this in a second. So many of us have that so far down our list of what a responsible spouse should do that it wouldn't even go mentioned, that we haven't even thought of it. And here's what I want to be really honest with you about, okay? As I prepared this sermon, and I was confronted with this standard from Scripture of what my role as a husband is. I was deeply, deeply convicted. And I'm not saying that hyperbolically. I'm not saying that for show. I'm not saying that like, well, you know, we could all improve a little bit. I could too, so I'm going to act convicted here so you feel safe in your conviction. No. I was deeply convicted and went home and apologized to Jen for not being the husband I was going to preach that I needed to be. I apologized to her because I'm about to come out. I might not be much, but I like to think I have some integrity. And I'm not going to come in here and look you men in the eye and tell you what Scripture calls you to be, knowing good and well I've fallen short of that in my own house. So the first thing I did is I went home. I didn't know she was going to be in the fourth and fifth grade room this morning. That makes this part a lot easier. I thought she was going to be sitting right there. And that if I didn't apologize to her, she was going to be sitting there going, what are you talking about, man? There have been seasons where I have done this by God's grace. There have also been seasons when I have not. And so if you are convicted this morning as I lay out the standard that is set forth in scripture for what marriage is and what a spouse ought to be in that marriage. If that's hard to hear and you feel that you've fallen short, I am the captain of your team, pal. I'm with you. I am not preaching this as if I were on some marital mountaintop and I figured it out and I would like for you to get on my level. I am preaching this here. Saying, hey, this is what scripture calls us to. We've all got to step up together. This is what we're called to. So let's be that. To that end, as I was talking through this with Jen this week, she brought up, yeah, that's good, that makes sense. I like that. If both parties are spiritually engaged, it's a really good and helpful thing to tell the couples of grace. I like it. But what do you tell the spouse who is spiritually engaged, whose spouse is spiritually disengaged? To put a finer point on it, more often than not, what do you tell the women who care about Jesus and would really, really love for their husband to be this for them and are trying desperately to be that for their husband, but they can't get his attention? Now, sometimes it's flipped. Sometimes it's the man who's spiritually engaged and the woman who's spiritually disengaged, but that's the exception in my experience in churches. So what do we tell those people? Well, I would tell you two things. First, sometimes when we're unequally yoked in that way, it's our job, and 1 Corinthians speaks to this, it's our job to quietly, patiently love them towards Christ until the Holy Spirit convicts them and they're able to come home and apologize and then step into who they need to be. Sometimes it's our job to patiently wait and pray and love them towards Jesus when they're not able to love us towards Jesus. And we wait on them to step into what they're supposed to be. The other thing I would say is this. I'm going to quote, I wish Keith Cathcart were here, one of my buddies. Keck, you'll have to tell him to listen to this sermon. Because I'm going to quote Mike Tomlin, the coach of the Steelers, and Keith is going to lose his ever-loving mind. I quoted Tomlin in the sermon. But Coach Tomlin is a coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's an incredible leader of men. He's an incredible leader. He's one of the all-time greatest coaches. I have a large amount of respect for him, and he's got a lot of these quick little one-liners that are really good. But one of the things I like about what he says about Pittsburgh Steelers football is the standard is the standard. The standard is the standard. The standard in Pittsburgh is Super Bowls. We do not settle for divisional championships, which means, those of you who are not sports inclined, marginal success. We do not settle for marginal success. We are number one or bust. If you don't know what the Super Bowl is, this is America, man. Get with it. Also, go Bills. Yeah, there we go, baby. Mike Thomas says the standard is the standard. Meaning, we have the highest possible standard in our organization. We have the highest standard for what we want to achieve as a team, and we have the highest possible standard for what we expect from each position group and each portion of this team. The standard is the standard, and the standard does not change based on your feelings about your inability to reach it. The standard does not change based on previous performance. The standard does not change based upon how you feel. The standard is the standard. We confront it with honesty and we meet it or don't, but the standard doesn't change. That's how we will approach marriage. The standard is the standard. And the standard is that it is my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus. That's the standard. If you are married, whether you knew it or not when you stood at the altar, what you accepted is this mantle. It is now and forevermore my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus Christ. And here's why it's so important to accept this mantle because people come and go in our lives, man. Jen and I have been together since I was 20 and she was 19. I'm 43. She's 32. I'm just kidding. I'm just not going to tell you her age. I'm 43. We've been together a long time. There have been people, men, in that season, in those years, in those decades, who have come into my life and have been more of a catalyst for change and sanctification in my life than she was at the time. But that flares out. People come and go. And sometimes God in his grace uses them to compel you and to convict you in wonderful ways towards a deeper relationship with him. But day in and day out, year in and year out, she is the presence in my life. She is the one who sees me wake up and go to sleep. She is the one that God has placed there to be used as an agent to change me. And when she does, and when she engages in that, it is so powerful, I can't describe it to you. And that is our sacred duty, to love our spouses towards Jesus. And listen, if you feel like that's too tall an order, if you feel like you haven't done that in a long time and you're not sure if you can do that and you don't know how to do that, what I would say to you is I love you so much and I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but what I would say to you is listen, the standard is the standard. That's your sacred duty. Accept it or don't. But if you do not accept your sacred duty to love your spouse towards Christ and be the chief agent of sanctification in their life, then you are absconding on your commitment as a husband or a wife. And if this brings upon you a deep conviction, good. Sit in it. Your wife and your husband or your husband will benefit from that. React to it. Respond to it. Accept it. Step into it. Your kids will be better off for your conviction and your acceptance of this mantle. You will have a marriage that they look at as worthy of emulation if you will receive this mantle, this standard from Paul. It is our sacred duty to love our spouses towards Jesus. Full stop. That's what we must do. Now, as I wrap up, I want to give you guys just a few practical things to do to keep this standard the standard in your marriage. I want to give you a couple. So we go, okay, I accept this. It is my job to love my spouse towards Christ. I accept that mantle. I want to do that. I'm going to be the chief agent of sanctification in their life that I believe you. I want to do it. Let's go. What do I do? What does that practically look like? This is, I'm going to give you four things. So obviously there's more to do than this. This is not an exhaustive list, but four quick things that you can do in your marriages starting right now, starting today to love your spouse towards Christ. Four quick things. Number one, hold them accountable for accountability. Hold them accountable for accountability. I have never thought it's the best idea for your husband or your wife to be your accountability partner. If you decide that you want to develop a new discipline of waking up every day and praying and reading the Bible, spending time in God's word and spending time in God's presence through prayer, if that's what you want to do, probably don't tell your wife that this is what I'm going to do. And when I don't do it, I would like you to call me out on it because of all the other things that exist in your life that she nagged you about and that you get mad about. Let's not add one more. All right. Similarly, wives don't need husbands hounding them about one more thing that they were supposed to do. All right. So let's, let's let other people hold us accountable for things like that. And let's let our spouses hold us accountable for accountability. I've told you before, and this was actually the sermon that I thought you were going to watch last week. It's okay that you didn't. But in that sermon from last year, I talked about the idea of sacred spaces, having spaces in our life, two or three people at the most who know everything about us, who love you and love Jesus and are given permission to tell you the truth about yourself. I shared with you then that there's two men that I meet with, two men from the church that I meet with pretty much once a month. And the very first thing we ask is, what are you struggling with? What's stopping you from following God as well as you can right now? What's going on in your life? Is there anything that you need to share? And it's an opportunity to be held accountable for anything and everything that may be going on in our life that is keeping us from pursuing Jesus the way we need to do it. Jen needs to hold me accountable to go and meet with them and tell them the truth, but she doesn't need to be my primary accountability agent in that, if that makes sense. But spouses, responsible ones, hold each other accountable for accountability. So a wonderful conversation to have in your car at lunch, tonight when the kids go down, whenever, might be where is your accountability in your life and how can we encourage each other to find that more. The second thing we can do to love our spouse towards Christ and accept this mantle is to take their spiritual temperature. Just take their spiritual temperature. Just know how they're doing. If I were to ask any of you who are married, how's the spiritual health of your wife? How's the spiritual health of your husband? How are they doing? How good of an answer could you give me? How good of an answer would you like to be able to give? If you're going to see yourself as sincerely the chief agent of sanctification in their life as bestowed upon you by God, how good of an answer to that question do you think you need to be able to give? And is it good enough right now? All right, moving quickly. Next thing. Love them sacrificially, not selfishly. Love them selflessly, not selfishly. Often we fall into these habits as married people where we love transactionally. I'm going to love you like this, so you love me like this. A husband might think to himself, I'm going to be on the Saturday. I'm going to be present with the kids on Saturday. I'm going to love by cleaning things I haven't been asked to clean. I'm going to do everything I need to do. I'm going to do all the things that she likes for me to do. I'm going to love her in that way so that maybe later when the kids go down, she can express love in a different way. That's what I'm going to do. And listen, that's a sound strategy. Okay, tried and true. Stick with it. I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying there needs to be more to love than that. Loving selfishly is loving with the expectation of reciprocity. I'm going to love in this way, and they're going to love me in this way. But loving selflessly says, no, I'm going to love them because I love them and I want them to see someone that loves them no matter what. We have a quote in our hallway at the top of our stairs from a guy named W.H. Autzen. I have no idea who that is. I've never, ever Googled him a single time. I just really like this quote that I saw at someone else's house, so I had it done for us. And it says, if greater affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. That's sacrificial selfless love in a marriage. If equal affection cannot be, let the greater love be me. So if it's got to be disproportionate, let it be disproportionate in their favor. And I'll tell you how I've seen this lived out. I have a very good friend whose wife is going through, this is understated, an extremely traumatic time in her life that doesn't have anything to do with him. It's just a really, really difficult time. And because of that, rightly so, she has nothing in her cup left to be the mother that she needs to be to their three children. She has nothing in her cup left to be the wife that she needs to be to him. She has nothing to give. And he is choosing day in and day out to love her, to stay faithful to her, to serve her, to step up and to care for the kids and to love her in that way without expectation of reciprocity, without expecting that she's going to turn around and thank him for that. He's just loving her to get her through this season because he loves her. That's loving sacrificially, not selfishly. Love for love's sake. Last one. This one's so simple. It's so simple. Pray for them and with them. Pray for them and with them. Very simply, I'm not going to belabor this because I don't need to. How can we claim to have accepted the mantle of chief agent of sanctification in the life of our spouse if we can't remember the last time we prayed for them? If we're not praying for them every day? How can the Holy Spirit speak into our hearts and in our minds what they need and where they're at and how to best pray for them if we don't give him space to do that. How can we claim that Jesus is the center of our home, the center of our marriage, and that our marriage is being used to sanctify one another towards Christ if we're not praying with each other with a great degree of regularity? I don't need to belabor this point. You guys know it's right. I know it's right. If we want to love our spouse towards Christ, then we ought to pray for them and with them with a high degree of regularity. Yes? So that's my hope and prayer for you and for your marriages. That you'll accept the standard as the standard. And the standard is you are to be the chief agent of sanctification, of the process of spiritual maturity, becoming more like Christ in character in your spouse's life, and that it is your sacred duty to step into that role. So I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray that you would accept that mantle and that you would walk with humility and meekness as you seek to love your spouse towards Jesus. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for who you are and how you love us. God, we thank you for our husbands and our wives. God, I thank you publicly for my wife and the ways that she has faithfully loved me towards you. Help me love her towards you. God, for those of us who walk away convicted, I pray that we would sit in that conviction, that we would accept it, that we would be spurned on by it. And that from today, you would produce in all of us an ardent desire to see our spouse come to know you more. Help the husbands in this room to love their wives sacrificially. To love them well, to pray for them. To lay down their lives for them. Help the wives in this room to love their husbands faithfully and earnestly, believing in them as they pray them and love them towards you. God, be with the marriages in this room. We praise you for the good ones that reflect you. We lift up the hard ones and ask that they would reflect you. And we ask that you would be with us as we go from here. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right, well, good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks so much for making grace a part of your Sunday. If I haven't gotten a chance to meet you, I would love to do that in the lobby after the service. I'll be right there at those double doors. Please don't hesitate to introduce yourself and teach me your name and give me about three or four weeks and I'll try to remember it. A big thank you to Kyle, our worship pastor, who stepped in for me last week. About 6 a.m. last Sunday morning, I had been up most of the night and texted Gibby, our worship pastor, hey man, I'm not going to make it. And I went back through some sermons and I found one from last January where I talked about community. I knew it was going to be small group Sunday, so I said this will be appropriate. I said just show this one from last January and we'll be fine. And so then I turned on the TV around 10 o'clock just to see how things were going, and I was as surprised as you to see Kyle up here once the bumper video got done. But he did a great job. I'm so grateful for him. It's kind of a rite of passage as a teacher and communicator to find out the morning of that you're actually preaching that day. And so it's a good experience for everybody. But I'm grateful to him. This week, we're going to continue right on in our series. I was going to preach about marriage last week and prayers for our marriage. And we decided to continue in that series. Next week, we're going to do prayers for our finances, and then we're going to get into a series in Mark that's going to carry us all the way through Easter. So I'm very much looking forward to spending an extended amount of time in the Gospel of Mark with you. But this morning, we look at prayers, a prayer for our marriages. And I don't often do sermons on marriage. And I'll be honest with you, the main reason I don't often specifically target marriage in a church service, probably to our detriment. I should probably do it more. But the main reason I don't is just because I know that even though, as I look out, most of us in this room are married. I hope happily so. Most of us are married, but I'm also aware that we have single people in our congregation as well. And some of you are single right now by choice. You'd like to be married one day, but you're not yet, and that's fine. Or you'd like to be married again someday, and you're not right now, and that's okay. Some of you are widows or widowers, and for different reasons and different walks of life, we have single people in our midst. And so in doing a sermon on marriage, I always worry about ostracizing that part of our population, and so I'm sorry for that. So this morning, I'm going to unapologetically focus on marriage and what God's role for marriage is and what our purpose within our marriages are according to Scripture. And so I would say to you, if you're a single person this morning who's listening to me, if you're watching online and you haven't turned it off yet, I would say if you're not married and you want to be, then hang on to this for the kind of marriage that you want and the kind of spouse that you want to find, the kind of spouse that you want to be. If you're not married and you don't want to be, then the best I can do is to say hang on to this so you can advise your married friends or just open up the Bible and start reading it for the next 30 minutes. That'll be great for you too. With that caveat, let's approach this topic of marriage and ask ourselves, what is God's purpose for marriage? And what is our role supposed to be within our marriages? Now, I don't think that there's any passage that addresses God's purpose for marriage and our role within marriage more clearly than Ephesians chapter 5. Really starting, I believe, in verse 21. Yes, verse 21 through the end of the chapter in verse 32. Now, in Ephesians, sorry, Ephesians chapter 5. In Ephesians and in Colossians and in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes about what theologians refer to as the household codes. In Christ, in church, in this new way of life, in this new way of understanding faith, here are the codes by which we should live within our households. Here's how wives and husbands should interact and children and parents should interact. And there's even a portion about slaves and masters and how they should interact. And so he introduces what we refer to as the household codes. And these, we should understand, are revolutionary for the time. Because at this point in history, it's a heavily patriarchal society. And marriage is really a one-way street. Marriage is really about the man. The woman is ancillary to the marriage. She's almost very close to property, if not just out-and-out property. And so it's within that context that these household codes are introduced. And what we see is that they are revolutionary for the time in which they are introduced. But for us this morning, as we look at them, I want us to be thinking, what's God's purpose for marriage? What does God want to see happen in my marriage? And what is my role within that marriage? How does God want to use me to bring about his desired outcome for us and for my spouse? And again, I don't think that this issue is addressed anywhere more clearly than it is in Ephesians chapter 5. So I want to read to you, beginning in verse one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church. For we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery. But I am talking about Christ and the church. In the verse 33, however, each one of you must also, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. There's a lot packed in there. We could do a series from those verses. But I want us to see the main priority for marriage, What Paul depicts, we believe through the instruction of God, as the main purpose for marriage, which is to prepare the bride for the bridegroom. Which is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, who laid himself down for it, that he might prepare it, wash it, so that it might be presented without blemish or spot to God on the day of atonement, on the day of glory, that we might present one another as blameless to God at the end of this life. And so here's what I'm going to do with this passage. And I just want to admit this up front so we all know what I'm doing. I've always tried to teach you like you are intelligent adults who have the Holy Spirit. Most of you are adults. Most of you are intelligent. And if you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit. So I'm going to talk to you that way. I am taking an interpretive and theological license in my application of this passage this morning. This passage on its surface seems to be talking directly to the husbands with the line at the end that says, and wives seek that you respect your husbands. But what I believe about this passage is that there is an implied reciprocity. That if it is my job as a husband to present my wife without blemish or spot, to do what I can to prepare her for heaven, to do what I can to love her towards Christ, then it is likewise the responsibility of my wife to love me towards Jesus. That there is a reciprocital expectation in this passage. I don't even know if reciprocital is a word, but there you go. There's that expectation in this passage, I believe, that both parties would seek to love each other towards Christ. And if you can't go there with me, and you go, listen, man, on the surface, it seems like it's talking to the husbands. That's how I'm going to take it at face value. Okay, that's fine. Then I'm just talking to the husbands today. But by the way, husbands, you don't have to respect your wives because there's no reciprocity in the passage. But that's the license that I'm going to take is that this is for both of us. And if it's for both of us, here's what this passage clearly says is the responsibility of each spouse in a marriage. Okay. This is the purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is to sanctify you, to make you more like Christ in character. I'm going to sit more on that in a minute, to make you more like Christ in character, to move you through this spirit, this process of spiritual maturation. And that as such, as the spouse, here's what this passage is teaching us. And we're going to unpack this. You, husbands, you, wives, if you're married, you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's lives. If you're married, this passage teaches us that you are the chief agent of sanctification in your spouse's life. Now, let's stop and talk about this word sanctification, because this is one of those spongy church words that we hear a lot, and you church people probably know that word, you've heard it, but if I were to make you stand up right now and be like, Karen, why don't you stand up and tell us what sanctification means? You'd be like, oh my gosh, I hate you. I've never come back to this church in my whole life, right? Nobody wants to do that right now. But it's a word that shows up again and again in Scripture. It's a word that is referred to again and again in Scripture. And it's a summary word for what happens during our life. So it's important that we understand what sanctification is. It's a very simple definition, and there's no blank for this, but if you want to write it down because it's helpful, you can write this down. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is the process by which we become more like Christ in character. We see throughout Scripture these encouragements that we should be Christ-like, that we should be like Jesus. We pray and we sing, more of you and less of me. More of you, Christ, less of me. If all I ever get is you, that's good enough. I want more of you, less of me. We pray that we would become Christ-like. We pray for our children to become Christ-like. These are all references to what Scripture calls sanctification, the process by which we become more like Christ in character. Sanctification is an unavoidable portion of the salvation process. See, a lot of us think of salvation as this inflection point, this point in time, this moment in time in which we become saved. But scripture actually teaches us that salvation is a process that begins at the point of justification or some would argue predestination and then continues through sanctification until glorification. And here's how I know that I'm right about this. I'm not making it up. That's basically a direct quote of Romans chapter 8 verse 29. We know verse 28. We love that verse. For all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Great. But 29 says, for those whom he predestined, he also called. Those whom he called, he justified. Those whom he justified, he sanctified. Those whom he sanctified, he glorified. So let's look at that process. Jesus, God, through his spirit, calls us to himself. He calls us with his Holy Spirit. He chisels away at our blind and darkened heart. He softens us to the good news and the mystery of the gospel until one day our soul is in a place where we're willing to accept Christ as our Savior. We repent of who we thought Jesus was. We accept who Jesus says he is, and we step forward in faith. This looks a bunch of different ways and a bunch of different traditions. We pray the believer's prayer or that we pray the sinner's prayer. We ask Jesus into our heart. We confess Jesus as our savior. However it is you want to phrase it, this for many of us is the point of salvation. It's what we think of as the time we got saved, but that's really the justification process. So God, God calls us then at that moment of what we would call our salvation, that's really justification. That's when we accept the blood of Christ as a cover over our sins. And God looks at us and he does not judge us based on our actions. He judges us based on the righteousness of Christ and says that he sees us clothed in the righteousness of Christ. This is Isaiah chapter 1 where he puts his arm around us and he says, Come now, let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them white as snow. At the point of justification, Jesus, by hanging on the cross, has made our sins as white as snow. He has covered over us with our righteousness. And God in heaven looks down on us and he sees not us, but he sees his Son and we are justified in the court of divine righteousness and made worthy of heaven through the blood of Christ. When we accept that, we are justified. After we are justified, we are sanctified. After we are sanctified, we are glorified. We are glorified when we meet our Father in heaven and our glorified bodies, when we do not need faith anymore because we're looking our Savior in the eye. We are glorified in heaven. So that means that between the time of justification in your life, the moment you became a Christian, to the point of glorification, the moment you meet God in eternity forever. Everything that happens in between that is your sanctification. That God is using day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade to slowly chisel you into someone who is more like him in character, whose heart beats along with him for the things he wants. We are told that if we delight ourselves in the law of the Lord, that walk with God through the process of sanctification, our heart begins to beat with his so that the things that we desire are the things that he desires and he brings those about for the good of us and those who are called according to his purpose. This is the process of sanctification. Spending our entire life growing closer and closer and closer to Jesus. Now this process can be thwarted. It can get short-circuited by sin and by other ailments, by the sin and the weight that so easily entangles, according to Hebrews 12, verse 1. This process can get sidelined. But as Christians, we are perpetually going through the process of sanctification until we enter glorification. This means that in our 70s, our faith and our depths of insight and understanding and our knowledge of right and wrong and good and evil and being filled with the knowledge of God and the maturity with which we walk and the love that we express and the selflessness that we live with and the humility in which we walk should be vastly different than it was in our 30s. Because God has had 40 years to sanctify us and make us more like his son in character. So that in our 70s we ought to walk with so much more wisdom and godliness than we did in our 30s. Not because we can't be godly in our 30s, but just because he's had 40 more years to sanctify us. That's the call of the Christian life. And what Paul is saying about marriage is that your spouse ought to be the chief agent of sanctification in your life. Meaning, your husband or your wife has been placed in your life by God to be the primary tool he uses to chisel away at your rough edges and reveal within you the person that he's always wanted you to become. They are the primary tool that God uses to chisel away the elements of the world that are still a part of you so that your character might emerge as more Christ-like. That is the purpose of marriage. If you are married, God's primary purpose for you in that marriage is to use you as the primary tool that he chooses to make your spouse more like him in character. That is the role of a husband or a wife. And nothing short of it. And here's what I think is interesting about that point. Here's what I think is interesting. I think that if I were to sit down with any of you over coffee who are married. And say, do you consider yourself a good wife? Do you consider yourself a good husband? You would say yes or no. You would say, you know, for the most part, I think I'm pretty good, or gosh, I haven't been doing great lately, or some of you, I hope, would say, yeah, I think I'm nailing it. That's great. Some of you would be like, I'm failing miserably. Okay. Whatever your answer was in how you're doing, good or bad, neutral or not, the next question is the important one. How good are you doing at being a husband? I think I'm doing okay here. I think I've got some things to work on there. I think I can get better. But overall, I think I've been pretty good. Okay. Why? That's the important question. Why do you think you're a good husband? Why do you think you're a bad husband? Why do you think you've been a good wife? What's your criteria? Why do you think you've been a bad wife? I think a lot of us, if we had to make lists, even if we take your marriage out of it, and I were to ask you, what makes a husband a good husband? If I were to ask you, think of somebody that you think has a great marriage, and they're a great husband, and they're a great wife. What makes them great? What are the qualities? I think we would say things like, well, he loves her really well. He's unselfish with her. He's patient with her. They've been married for 40 years. He's faithful to her. She's faithful to him. She's patient with him. She supports him. Or if they're bad, we would say, well, he's selfish. He doesn't see her. He pretends that the yard needs work for eight hours on a Saturday while she deals with three-year-olds. She doesn't support him. She gets on to him all the time. He ignores her. How far down the list, here's the important part. If I were to ask you what makes you or what makes that person a good husband or a good wife? How many items would you list off before you said that man's a good husband because the way that he loves his wife loves her closer to Jesus? That man's a good husband because his wife is an incredible believer because of the way that he's loved her towards him. How many of you, how far down the list would we have to get before you said that woman is a wonderful wife to that man? Because she has been used by God over and over again and she steps into her role of sanctification in his life. And because of her influence in his life, that man is walking more closely with Jesus than he would have without her. How far down our list of good or bad husband or wife criteria do we need to go before we get to the very first criteria laid out by God in Scripture? Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Present her holy and blameless before the throne. That's tops. That's the number one thing. That's the standard. And yet, so many of us, and listen, well, I'll say this in a second. So many of us have that so far down our list of what a responsible spouse should do that it wouldn't even go mentioned, that we haven't even thought of it. And here's what I want to be really honest with you about, okay? As I prepared this sermon, and I was confronted with this standard from Scripture of what my role as a husband is. I was deeply, deeply convicted. And I'm not saying that hyperbolically. I'm not saying that for show. I'm not saying that like, well, you know, we could all improve a little bit. I could too, so I'm going to act convicted here so you feel safe in your conviction. No. I was deeply convicted and went home and apologized to Jen for not being the husband I was going to preach that I needed to be. I apologized to her because I'm about to come out. I might not be much, but I like to think I have some integrity. And I'm not going to come in here and look you men in the eye and tell you what Scripture calls you to be, knowing good and well I've fallen short of that in my own house. So the first thing I did is I went home. I didn't know she was going to be in the fourth and fifth grade room this morning. That makes this part a lot easier. I thought she was going to be sitting right there. And that if I didn't apologize to her, she was going to be sitting there going, what are you talking about, man? There have been seasons where I have done this by God's grace. There have also been seasons when I have not. And so if you are convicted this morning as I lay out the standard that is set forth in scripture for what marriage is and what a spouse ought to be in that marriage. If that's hard to hear and you feel that you've fallen short, I am the captain of your team, pal. I'm with you. I am not preaching this as if I were on some marital mountaintop and I figured it out and I would like for you to get on my level. I am preaching this here. Saying, hey, this is what scripture calls us to. We've all got to step up together. This is what we're called to. So let's be that. To that end, as I was talking through this with Jen this week, she brought up, yeah, that's good, that makes sense. I like that. If both parties are spiritually engaged, it's a really good and helpful thing to tell the couples of grace. I like it. But what do you tell the spouse who is spiritually engaged, whose spouse is spiritually disengaged? To put a finer point on it, more often than not, what do you tell the women who care about Jesus and would really, really love for their husband to be this for them and are trying desperately to be that for their husband, but they can't get his attention? Now, sometimes it's flipped. Sometimes it's the man who's spiritually engaged and the woman who's spiritually disengaged, but that's the exception in my experience in churches. So what do we tell those people? Well, I would tell you two things. First, sometimes when we're unequally yoked in that way, it's our job, and 1 Corinthians speaks to this, it's our job to quietly, patiently love them towards Christ until the Holy Spirit convicts them and they're able to come home and apologize and then step into who they need to be. Sometimes it's our job to patiently wait and pray and love them towards Jesus when they're not able to love us towards Jesus. And we wait on them to step into what they're supposed to be. The other thing I would say is this. I'm going to quote, I wish Keith Cathcart were here, one of my buddies. Keck, you'll have to tell him to listen to this sermon. Because I'm going to quote Mike Tomlin, the coach of the Steelers, and Keith is going to lose his ever-loving mind. I quoted Tomlin in the sermon. But Coach Tomlin is a coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's an incredible leader of men. He's an incredible leader. He's one of the all-time greatest coaches. I have a large amount of respect for him, and he's got a lot of these quick little one-liners that are really good. But one of the things I like about what he says about Pittsburgh Steelers football is the standard is the standard. The standard is the standard. The standard in Pittsburgh is Super Bowls. We do not settle for divisional championships, which means, those of you who are not sports inclined, marginal success. We do not settle for marginal success. We are number one or bust. If you don't know what the Super Bowl is, this is America, man. Get with it. Also, go Bills. Yeah, there we go, baby. Mike Thomas says the standard is the standard. Meaning, we have the highest possible standard in our organization. We have the highest standard for what we want to achieve as a team, and we have the highest possible standard for what we expect from each position group and each portion of this team. The standard is the standard, and the standard does not change based on your feelings about your inability to reach it. The standard does not change based on previous performance. The standard does not change based upon how you feel. The standard is the standard. We confront it with honesty and we meet it or don't, but the standard doesn't change. That's how we will approach marriage. The standard is the standard. And the standard is that it is my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus. That's the standard. If you are married, whether you knew it or not when you stood at the altar, what you accepted is this mantle. It is now and forevermore my sacred duty to love my spouse towards Jesus Christ. And here's why it's so important to accept this mantle because people come and go in our lives, man. Jen and I have been together since I was 20 and she was 19. I'm 43. She's 32. I'm just kidding. I'm just not going to tell you her age. I'm 43. We've been together a long time. There have been people, men, in that season, in those years, in those decades, who have come into my life and have been more of a catalyst for change and sanctification in my life than she was at the time. But that flares out. People come and go. And sometimes God in his grace uses them to compel you and to convict you in wonderful ways towards a deeper relationship with him. But day in and day out, year in and year out, she is the presence in my life. She is the one who sees me wake up and go to sleep. She is the one that God has placed there to be used as an agent to change me. And when she does, and when she engages in that, it is so powerful, I can't describe it to you. And that is our sacred duty, to love our spouses towards Jesus. And listen, if you feel like that's too tall an order, if you feel like you haven't done that in a long time and you're not sure if you can do that and you don't know how to do that, what I would say to you is I love you so much and I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but what I would say to you is listen, the standard is the standard. That's your sacred duty. Accept it or don't. But if you do not accept your sacred duty to love your spouse towards Christ and be the chief agent of sanctification in their life, then you are absconding on your commitment as a husband or a wife. And if this brings upon you a deep conviction, good. Sit in it. Your wife and your husband or your husband will benefit from that. React to it. Respond to it. Accept it. Step into it. Your kids will be better off for your conviction and your acceptance of this mantle. You will have a marriage that they look at as worthy of emulation if you will receive this mantle, this standard from Paul. It is our sacred duty to love our spouses towards Jesus. Full stop. That's what we must do. Now, as I wrap up, I want to give you guys just a few practical things to do to keep this standard the standard in your marriage. I want to give you a couple. So we go, okay, I accept this. It is my job to love my spouse towards Christ. I accept that mantle. I want to do that. I'm going to be the chief agent of sanctification in their life that I believe you. I want to do it. Let's go. What do I do? What does that practically look like? This is, I'm going to give you four things. So obviously there's more to do than this. This is not an exhaustive list, but four quick things that you can do in your marriages starting right now, starting today to love your spouse towards Christ. Four quick things. Number one, hold them accountable for accountability. Hold them accountable for accountability. I have never thought it's the best idea for your husband or your wife to be your accountability partner. If you decide that you want to develop a new discipline of waking up every day and praying and reading the Bible, spending time in God's word and spending time in God's presence through prayer, if that's what you want to do, probably don't tell your wife that this is what I'm going to do. And when I don't do it, I would like you to call me out on it because of all the other things that exist in your life that she nagged you about and that you get mad about. Let's not add one more. All right. Similarly, wives don't need husbands hounding them about one more thing that they were supposed to do. All right. So let's, let's let other people hold us accountable for things like that. And let's let our spouses hold us accountable for accountability. I've told you before, and this was actually the sermon that I thought you were going to watch last week. It's okay that you didn't. But in that sermon from last year, I talked about the idea of sacred spaces, having spaces in our life, two or three people at the most who know everything about us, who love you and love Jesus and are given permission to tell you the truth about yourself. I shared with you then that there's two men that I meet with, two men from the church that I meet with pretty much once a month. And the very first thing we ask is, what are you struggling with? What's stopping you from following God as well as you can right now? What's going on in your life? Is there anything that you need to share? And it's an opportunity to be held accountable for anything and everything that may be going on in our life that is keeping us from pursuing Jesus the way we need to do it. Jen needs to hold me accountable to go and meet with them and tell them the truth, but she doesn't need to be my primary accountability agent in that, if that makes sense. But spouses, responsible ones, hold each other accountable for accountability. So a wonderful conversation to have in your car at lunch, tonight when the kids go down, whenever, might be where is your accountability in your life and how can we encourage each other to find that more. The second thing we can do to love our spouse towards Christ and accept this mantle is to take their spiritual temperature. Just take their spiritual temperature. Just know how they're doing. If I were to ask any of you who are married, how's the spiritual health of your wife? How's the spiritual health of your husband? How are they doing? How good of an answer could you give me? How good of an answer would you like to be able to give? If you're going to see yourself as sincerely the chief agent of sanctification in their life as bestowed upon you by God, how good of an answer to that question do you think you need to be able to give? And is it good enough right now? All right, moving quickly. Next thing. Love them sacrificially, not selfishly. Love them selflessly, not selfishly. Often we fall into these habits as married people where we love transactionally. I'm going to love you like this, so you love me like this. A husband might think to himself, I'm going to be on the Saturday. I'm going to be present with the kids on Saturday. I'm going to love by cleaning things I haven't been asked to clean. I'm going to do everything I need to do. I'm going to do all the things that she likes for me to do. I'm going to love her in that way so that maybe later when the kids go down, she can express love in a different way. That's what I'm going to do. And listen, that's a sound strategy. Okay, tried and true. Stick with it. I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just saying there needs to be more to love than that. Loving selfishly is loving with the expectation of reciprocity. I'm going to love in this way, and they're going to love me in this way. But loving selflessly says, no, I'm going to love them because I love them and I want them to see someone that loves them no matter what. We have a quote in our hallway at the top of our stairs from a guy named W.H. Autzen. I have no idea who that is. I've never, ever Googled him a single time. I just really like this quote that I saw at someone else's house, so I had it done for us. And it says, if greater affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. That's sacrificial selfless love in a marriage. If equal affection cannot be, let the greater love be me. So if it's got to be disproportionate, let it be disproportionate in their favor. And I'll tell you how I've seen this lived out. I have a very good friend whose wife is going through, this is understated, an extremely traumatic time in her life that doesn't have anything to do with him. It's just a really, really difficult time. And because of that, rightly so, she has nothing in her cup left to be the mother that she needs to be to their three children. She has nothing in her cup left to be the wife that she needs to be to him. She has nothing to give. And he is choosing day in and day out to love her, to stay faithful to her, to serve her, to step up and to care for the kids and to love her in that way without expectation of reciprocity, without expecting that she's going to turn around and thank him for that. He's just loving her to get her through this season because he loves her. That's loving sacrificially, not selfishly. Love for love's sake. Last one. This one's so simple. It's so simple. Pray for them and with them. Pray for them and with them. Very simply, I'm not going to belabor this because I don't need to. How can we claim to have accepted the mantle of chief agent of sanctification in the life of our spouse if we can't remember the last time we prayed for them? If we're not praying for them every day? How can the Holy Spirit speak into our hearts and in our minds what they need and where they're at and how to best pray for them if we don't give him space to do that. How can we claim that Jesus is the center of our home, the center of our marriage, and that our marriage is being used to sanctify one another towards Christ if we're not praying with each other with a great degree of regularity? I don't need to belabor this point. You guys know it's right. I know it's right. If we want to love our spouse towards Christ, then we ought to pray for them and with them with a high degree of regularity. Yes? So that's my hope and prayer for you and for your marriages. That you'll accept the standard as the standard. And the standard is you are to be the chief agent of sanctification, of the process of spiritual maturity, becoming more like Christ in character in your spouse's life, and that it is your sacred duty to step into that role. So I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray that you would accept that mantle and that you would walk with humility and meekness as you seek to love your spouse towards Jesus. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for who you are and how you love us. God, we thank you for our husbands and our wives. God, I thank you publicly for my wife and the ways that she has faithfully loved me towards you. Help me love her towards you. God, for those of us who walk away convicted, I pray that we would sit in that conviction, that we would accept it, that we would be spurned on by it. And that from today, you would produce in all of us an ardent desire to see our spouse come to know you more. Help the husbands in this room to love their wives sacrificially. To love them well, to pray for them. To lay down their lives for them. Help the wives in this room to love their husbands faithfully and earnestly, believing in them as they pray them and love them towards you. God, be with the marriages in this room. We praise you for the good ones that reflect you. We lift up the hard ones and ask that they would reflect you. And we ask that you would be with us as we go from here. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If you've been following along, you know that normally I preach, but the past few weeks I haven't been doing that. So it's very good to be back and get to see you guys from up here. It was fun to prepare a message this week, and I'm excited to share that with you. The other thing I'm excited about right now is the Olympics. Who else has been watching every possible minute of Olympic coverage? It's been fantastic. We love it in our house and it's been really special this time around. Lily, our daughter, is eight so she can enjoy it with us. We stay up late and watch it and then we hit pause and then we get up in the morning and we finish and it's just been really, really fun. And for those of you who have been following along, you know that one of the stories of the Olympics so far has been the United States men's gymnastics team. In the all-around competition earlier this week for those who have been hiding under a rock and don't know this I want to set the scene for you. In the men's all-around competition what they do is members of the team, three members of the team, it's a five-man team, participate in all of the events, and then the highest cumulative score wins the medal. They win the gold medal. And going into the event, you know that China and Japan are going to win gold and silver. There's really no one else that can touch them. But the U.S. has a chance to medal, to get the bronze for the first time in 16 years. And so hopes are high. And we are watching this earlier in the week. I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday. We're watching it and it was so fun. We're so enthusiastic about it. And everyone's doing what they're supposed to do. Everyone's doing their routines like they're supposed to do their routines. They're hitting their prime position. And then it gets to the final event. The final event is the pommel horse, which if you don't know what the pommel horse is, you're not missing much. It's real stupid. I don't know why it's an event. It doesn't make any sense to me. They spin around, and then they're on the ground. Fine. Listen, incredible amount of talent. It's just dumb to watch. That's the final event. And we've got one person who did pommel horse in college. They're never coming back. Sorry. It's the final event. And the Americans have this one guy on their team. And his specialty is the pommel horse. This is the only reason he's on the team. He doesn't participate in anything else. He's only there as a pommel horse assassin. That's his whole job. And he's the last one to go, the last event of the night. And all night, they keep panning over to him, telling him he's coming up. He's the pommel horse guy, and they're showing him, and he's just sitting in the back brooding. He's not looking at anything or anybody. He's totally expressionless. Every now and again you can tell he's mentally going through his routine and he's just sitting there stiff all night. And then he gets up and he does his routine and he nails it. And it was great. There was tears in our house. And listen, a lot of you probably know the story. You probably know who I'm talking about. But if you don't, I want you to picture in your head the hero of American gymnastics and national sport in general. And I want you to picture what you think this athletic hero looks like. Because whatever you're picturing ain't this. It's not that guy. That's not who you had in your head. That guy looks like an NC State grad who's writing code at a startup. That's what he looks like. If he didn't have that medal around his neck, you'd just think he was there for fun, like as a fan. But that's the guy, Steven Nedarosik. That's the guy. And he, the reason I bring him up is he embodies to me what is one of my favorite principles in life, which is this idea that no matter what people see in you, no matter what people say about you, no matter what you might say about yourself, don't try to convince them they're wrong with your words. Just put your head down, do the work, and let the results speak for themselves. Don't worry about what other people say. Don't worry about what other people might think. Just put your head down, control what you can control, do your work, and let the outcome of that work and of that effort speak for itself. And that's what he did. He steps up to the pommel horse, and he takes his glasses off, and he gets real squinty. And Chris Rock, in his commentary, said, don't tell him. He thinks he's doing the rings right now. He can't see nothing. But you're looking at this guy and you're like, this can't be the guy. But he put his head down. He did the work. And he was the guy. The results speak for themselves. I love this principle in life. I think it's such an important one that gets us through a lot of seasons and allows us to accomplish a lot of things. And one of the reasons I love this principle is because it's a very Christian principle. That principle of put your head down, do the work, don't worry about what other people think, just let the results speak for themselves. That's a very biblical principle. As a matter of fact, you can pull that right out of the book of 1 Timothy. So if you have a Bible, I'd love to invite you to turn to 1 Timothy 4, verse 12. It's going to be on the screen. If you have a Bible, if you read the one in front of you, it's the NIV. I learned this verse. It's been an important verse to me for most of my life. If you've ever done any youth ministry, this is a big, important verse. It's on the other side of that wall right there in our fourth and fifth grade classroom. But I memorized it young at a Baptist church in the King's English. So if you don't mind, I'm going to say it like that, but you guys read along. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4.12, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and in purity. So a little context for this verse so you understand a little bit more about what's going on and what Paul is saying specifically to Timothy. We're in a series now called 27 where last summer and this summer we took one book a week and we're going through all the books of the New Testament the 27 books of the New Testament last summer in this summer trying to give you a synopsis or a sense of what each book is about so for those who are not super familiar with the Bible maybe it becomes a little bit more approachable because you know what the books are about you know what you're gonna read when you sit down to read it's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace and our hope is if you know the Bible books are about, you know what you're going to read when you sit down to read it. It's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace. And our hope is if you know the Bible well, that as we highlight these books, that you see them through fresh eyes and maybe it inspires you to dive back into scripture on your own. This Sunday, we're actually going to cover or talk about, not going to cover, talk about the books of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus. Because together, those make up what are referred to as the pastoral epistles. Those are letters, most of Paul's letters were written to churches. To the church in Ephesus, to the church in Galatia, to the church in Thessalonica, and so on and so on. But these books, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, were written to individuals. 1 and 2 Timothy, you can figure out who that was written to. Titus, you know who that was written to. It's written to those men in particular that Paul had left behind and installed essentially as senior pastors over the churches that he had been planting. And so the letters to Timothy are to him as he takes over the church in Ephesus, one of the most impactful churches in early Christendom. Early Christendom may not have survived without the church in Ephesus. And so he installs Timothy as the pastor there, and he writes in these two letters as books of advice, words of advice to a young disciple as he takes over a church. And in that is a lot of wonderful things about what church should be and how it should operate and what the qualifications for the elders should be. We see that in Timothy and in Titus. If you're an elder at the church, you should be very familiar with these books. If you're a believer, you should be very interested in these books. But there was no way to group them together and cover everything in them. But what I thought we could do is pull out this one verse in 1 Timothy 4 and talk about that, because that is a verse that is universally applicable to every Christian. That's not pastoral advice. That's Christian advice. Let no man despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity charity and spirit and faith and in purity. And word and conversation means the way that you carry yourself, the way that you interact with people. In charity and in spirit, charity is love. It means the way that you love others. In spirit, it's the way that you carry yourself. In purity, it's this pursuit of holiness. So the way that I would sum this up is that Paul is telling Timothy, I know you think you're young. And I know you think that it's going to be difficult for people to listen to you. And trust me, this has been a very encouraging verse for me. Right now, I'm the ripe old age of 43, and I look every bit 46. But when I took the church over, I was 36. And I was worried about this. And this verse brought me comfort. Because Paul says, put your head down, do the work, be an example to those around you in your pursuit of holiness and the way you love others. That's a really simple way to understand it. Put your head down, do the work, and be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue holiness and in the way that you love others. And I believe that this verse applies to all of us equally. That when Paul is telling Timothy to do that, he's telling all Christians for all time to do that. And here's why I think this is true and why I think we need this advice from Paul this morning. Because there's two things about each and every one of you that are here right now or that can hear my voice right now from your home or wherever you're listening further into this week as you catch up. Here's something I know to be true of every single person who can hear me. Two things. The first is we are called and created to live spiritually impactful lives. Every single one of you, no matter how much you know it, no matter how much you admit it to yourself, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with that. Even if you're here this morning and you wouldn't yet call yourself a believer, you're here to support family, you're here because you're curious, you're here because church is nice, whatever brought you here, I believe that God has a purpose for your life. The Bible teaches that God has a purpose for your life, that you are called to live a spiritually impactful life that matters for all of eternity. Every single one is called to that, whether you realize it or acknowledge it or not. And I know this to be true because in myriad places and myriad ways throughout scripture, the authors emphasize this point. In 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13, we see this big long list of spiritual gifts. We're taught about the church as the body of Christ and how every part of the body has a part to play and a job to do, has a responsibility. And we're told that the Holy Spirit actually gifts us upon salvation to play our part, to contribute to God's kingdom. And that's not for pastors. That's not for leaders. That's not for the charismatic. That's not for the people who are bold and out there and in front of you. That's not an instruction for the elite few, for the spiritual Marines. That's not for them. It's for everyone. We are all given gifts. In Ephesians chapter four, those are the gifts of the spirit we see in first Corinthians 12 and 13 and we see again in Romans. But in Ephesians 4, we're told that Christ gives us gifts. That every one of us is gifted to be either an apostle, a prophet, an evangelist, a shepherd, or a teacher. That Christ himself imbues us with those gifts to be used in his kingdom to build his kingdom. Every one of us, I'm going to talk about this in a few weeks, every one of us is a kingdom builder of the kingdom of God. And we've been gifted to that end. And if those two things don't convince you, then maybe the verse that I bring up all the time will help you see. Ephesians 2.10, I love to remind you of this verse. It says that we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that you might walk in them. It teaches me that my job as a parent to John and Lily is not to craft them into who I want them to be. It's not to mold them into who I think they should be. It's to raise them in such a way that they can identify their good works and walk in those that were prepared for them before time. You, each of you, each and every one of you, it's absolutely true of you that when God knit you in your mother's womb, he knew your story, the gifts that he was going to give you, and the role that he had you to play in his kingdom. He's purposed every single one of you to live a spiritually impactful life, to impact the people around you for Christ. I'm reminded of the verse in Colossians that says that we are led in triumphal procession by Christ and through us will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of God. Each one of us as a believer is designed, created, called, and purposed to live lives that impact the people around us towards Christ. Every single one of us. I know that to be true of you. I know it to be true of you that you are called and created to live a spiritually impactful life. Here's the other thing I know to be true of you. We all doubt our capacity to actually do it. Every single one of us, as I'm up here ranting about your purpose to live a spiritually impactful life, all but the most arrogant and least self-aware of us are thinking to ourselves all the reasons why we can't make an impact, but we can't make that big of an impact. All of us have disqualifying voices in our life that keep us from fully embracing that. Timothy's disqualifying voice was, I might be too young. They might not listen. And Paul says, hey, don't listen to that voice. Put your head down, be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue purity and in the way that you love others. Let the outcome of those actions speak for themselves. As I sit here and tell you, you are called to live a spiritually impactful life. There is no doubt in my mind that all kinds of things are running through your head as to why you can't live a spiritually impactful life as that person over there. Each of you thinks that your counterpart on the other side of the room has a better chance of living a spiritually impactful life than you do, and you're all wrong. We're all called to that, but we all, here's the problem, have in our life these disqualifying voices that we're tempted to listen to. And more often than not, the loudest voice of disqualification is in your own head. The loudest voice that tells you, I really don't have much of a shot at making a difference in God's kingdom. I really am not going to be that impactful in my life. That voice, more often than not, comes from you, not the world. And we think things like maybe when you hear me talk about that, maybe your thought is Timothy's thought. I'm too young. No one will listen to me. I don't have enough experience. I don't have the resume to be spiritually impactful, to impact people towards Christ. Maybe you're on the other end of the spectrum. I'm too old. All my years are behind me. Whatever chance I had to make an impact has passed. I've missed my sweet spot. Now I'm just cruising it to home. There's nothing left for me to do. Maybe you think to yourself, I'm not that articulate. I don't like being in front of people. I'm not winsome. I'm not charismatic. Maybe when I talk about making a spiritual impact, you think, yeah, well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. And my world is so very small right now. And this sermon is for other people. It's not for me. Maybe you would disqualify yourself with your past. Say, yeah, man, you don't know what I've been and what I've done and where I've come from. Ain't nobody listening to me. Maybe you're new to Christianity. Maybe you're not new to Christianity, but you're new to taking it seriously. And so when I open up the Bible and talk about the different books in the Bible, you're not really familiar with them at all. And you're just thinking, I'm just trying to play catch up here, man. I'm not ready to go impact other people. I'm new to this. I don't know. They're going to ask me questions and I'm not going to know the answers. So I can't make an impact yet. I don't know what your disqualifying voice is trying to convince you of to make you step out of the race and not believe about yourself that you were created to live a spiritually impactful life. I don't know what's trying to convince you that you don't have a part to play in building God's kingdom while you're here on earth. But I do know that to our doubts, Paul tells us to put our heads down and pursue holiness. To whatever doubts you have in your head, to whatever your disqualifying voice is from spiritual service, Paul says to that voice, ignore it, put your head down, pursue holiness, love others, and watch what God does. He says to you, Paul says, let no man despise your past. Judge you based on mistakes that you've made before. Put your head down, pursue holiness, love others well, and watch what God does. Let nobody look down on your inexperience. You know the remedy to a past? A pure future. You know the remedy to inexperience? Experience. You know the remedy to thinking that you're too old or you're too young? Get in the ring and watch what God does. We write ourselves off from living spiritually impactful lives for so many reasons. And they're all lies. They're all lies that you tell yourself and that the enemy tells us to disqualify you from service in God's kingdom. And here's a really scary thing that dawned on me as I was preparing this. When we listen to the disqualifying voices, we do harm to those we love the most. Do you understand this? When we allow the voices from within and from without to convince us that we can't really take our faith that seriously because no one takes us seriously and God doesn't really have something he wants me to do and people he wants me to impact. When we believe that, when we fall prey to that and we step out of the ring and we're just coasting through our spiritual lives, we do the most harm to the people we love the most. What would have happened in Ephesus if Timothy had let those voices win? If Timothy had convinced himself that he was too young to be effective, and he stepped into the pulpit with timidity? Would Ephesus have slowly crumbled and dissolved away without leadership? I don't know. But if he was to choose to listen to those disqualifying voices, then he would not have served the people nearly like he needed to. More pointedly, parents, listen to me. If you don't take seriously your call to live a spiritually impactful life, if you let the voices talk you out of putting your head down and pursuing holiness and loving other people well. If you mail in your spiritual life and be content to be slightly above average. I'm good enough to check the box. I'm a good person. I'm going to heaven. My kids are going to heaven. If you just mail it in and go into cruise control for the rest of your life without pursuing God. Who's going to disciple your kids? Who's going to show your kids how to follow Christ? Who's going to model it for your children? If you refuse to put your head down and pursue holiness and love others well and let God in to let him use the gifts that he's given you, if you refuse to engage spiritually and don't take your spiritual health seriously and don't believe that you were placed in the life of your children to impact them towards Christ, if you won't do that for them, who will? Aaron? Children's pastor? Kyle? They get your kids for one hour a week. And let's just be honest about this. That's not even 52 weeks a year, okay? I've seen your church attendance. Let's be generous and call it like 40. They get your kids for 40 hours a year. They're going to disciple a kid in 40 hours a year? You get your kids for 100 hours a week. There is no one in your child's life better postured to love them towards Jesus than you. And when you refuse to engage in your own spiritual growth because the voices talk you out of it, you abscond on your duty to raise your kids in Christ and you thrust it on someone else and we shortchange them. When we choose to believe the disqualifying voices in our life, we hurt the people around us the most. The Bible tells us that marriage is to be a picture that reminds us of the way that Christ sacrificially loves the church. If you don't show your spouse day in and day out how Jesus loves the church by sacrificially loving them, if you're not trying to do that every day, if you're not taking seriously the call to impact your spouse towards Christ and watch God work in them, who's going to do that for you? If you don't take seriously the call in scripture to live a life building God's kingdom, pursuing holiness and loving others well, and letting God do what he will with the gifts, with the people around you? Who's going to be the pastor that your workplace so desperately needs? Who is your coworker going to come to when they need prayer because their mom's in the hospital? Who's going to invite your neighbor to the thing that's going to ignite them spiritually and reengage them with the church? Who's going to work in your circles of influence as only you can to impact people towards Christ? If you choose to allow the voices that disqualify you from Christian service, if you choose to allow them to win, if we don't take seriously this call from Paul to be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity, if we don't do that, who's going to step in and do our job for us? We are all called to live spiritually impactful lives. And we must take seriously that call. Now, on the flip side, can you imagine what could happen if we choose to pursue holiness and allow God to use the gifts he's given you. Can you imagine what could happen in your life if you left here and you said, okay, God, listen, I don't know what your plan is for me. I'm not even sure what the gifts you've given me are. I have no idea. But I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to love others well. I'm going to make my life available to you. You use my life to impact the people around me however you want. God, I want to live the rest of my life building your kingdom. What would happen if you left this place and you got on your knees this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning, and you said, God, I'm yours. Use me. I don't know to what end. I'm not convinced that I'm going to make any great impact. But I am convinced that I need to live the rest of my life opened up to the possibility that you want to use me in the lives of the people around me. So here, it's yours. I'm going to put my head down. I'm not going to listen to my disqualifying voices. I'm not going to listen to the disqualifying voices of the people around me. I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I love others. And I'm going to trust you with the results and let those speak for themselves. What could happen if we let God in our lives to use the gifts that he's given us? Well, I'll tell you one thing that could happen because we've seen it happen in real time here in this church over the last five or so years. I'm about to just, she probably will never come back to the church. But she's on staff, so she has to. I'm going to embarrass the heck out of Carly. You can leave the room now if you want to, Carly. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing. Carly was the lady singing right here this morning. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing, four or five years ago. But her origin story is she was our previous worship pastor's wife, Lisa, was in the restroom on a Sunday morning and heard an angelic voice coming out of a stall and stalked her and said, we need you on the worship team. You should try out. And Carly had to be cajoled. She had to be talked into it. Because she's not big on, she's not the first one to raise her hand and be like, yes, I would like to be in front of others and let them hear my voice every Sunday publicly. That's not her jam. So she had to be talked into it. And she reluctantly agreed. She auditioned. She did well. Let's get you on the team. So she starts coming up and leading worship. And here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that Carly led worship for about two full years before I actually heard her voice. Because it takes, it's true, isn't it? I don't know if you guys have ever thought about this. I've watched it happen whenever we recruit someone new to the team. It's one thing to have a pretty voice and be told that you have a nice voice. It's another thing to sing loudly enough and confidently enough into the microphone in front of other people to be heard above the mix. When there's someone up here singing and you can't hear them, it's not because Cindy doesn't have them turned up loud enough. It's because their Sunday morning voice is a little bit different than their Wednesday night voice. There's people in the room. It takes guts to step into that. But over time and over the years, Carly trusted us with her gift. She started to believe in God's purpose for her life in this area. And she started to trust it to God. And she started to trust it to us. And in the last, I would say, six to eight months, now when Carly leads a song, buddy, she's leading. She's belting. She's letting it rip. And every time she does it, I'm getting emotional right now. Every time she does it, I get emotional. And I get emotional because I think it's so beautiful when a child of God is using their gift from God to do exactly what he gave that gift to them to do. It is so powerful to think about the fact that when she was knit in her mother's womb, God says, I'm going to give this one a voice. And he didn't give her a voice so that she could sing pretty and entertain people. He didn't give her a voice so that she could bring attention to herself. Do you know why he gave her a voice? He gave her a voice so that he could hear it sing praises to him, so that he could hear his daughter sing to him in a way that he enjoyed. And he gave her a voice for his daughter to use to bring his other children into praise before his throne, into his presence. When she sings on Sunday and belts it out and lets it rip, she's using the gift that God gave her for the exact reason he gave it to her, and it's beautiful. And we would never experience it and be led into worship through her and through her gifting if she allowed the disqualifying voices to talk her out of it when she auditioned. If she allowed the disqualifying voice in her head to talk her out of it in the early years as she was getting her feet wet. And so we see what can happen in real time when we say, God, I don't know what you have for me and I don't know what my purpose is here, but I'm going to make my gifts available for you to use however you want to use them. In the meantime, I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I pursue you and in the way that I love others. Can you imagine what a church could look like if everyone in that church prayed that prayer and said, God, I don't know what you have for me to do. I don't even know how you've gifted me to do it. But I'm going to pursue you and I'm going to love others and whatever impact you want me to have, God, I'm ready to have it. Can you imagine what could happen with a church full of people who believe that? I'll tell you this. I'd like to find out. Let's pray. Father, we love you. Thank you for imbuing our lives with purpose that's bigger than us. Thank you for always encouraging us to put our heads down and to trust you with the gifts that you've given us. Thank you for being a steady voice in our life that tells us we don't have to believe the disqualifying things about ourselves. God, I pray that every person in here, whether it's today or five years from now, would allow you to open their eyes to the fact that you've called and created them to live spiritually impactful lives. Would those of us who've just been cruising, not taking things seriously, not being engaged, God, would we re-engage with you? Would we make disciples of our children? Would we be a pastor to our communities? Show us how you can use us if we simply get our doubts and our fears and our hesitancies out of the way and let you begin to work. God, I pray that you would bring it about. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If you've been following along, you know that normally I preach, but the past few weeks I haven't been doing that. So it's very good to be back and get to see you guys from up here. It was fun to prepare a message this week, and I'm excited to share that with you. The other thing I'm excited about right now is the Olympics. Who else has been watching every possible minute of Olympic coverage? It's been fantastic. We love it in our house and it's been really special this time around. Lily, our daughter, is eight so she can enjoy it with us. We stay up late and watch it and then we hit pause and then we get up in the morning and we finish and it's just been really, really fun. And for those of you who have been following along, you know that one of the stories of the Olympics so far has been the United States men's gymnastics team. In the all-around competition earlier this week for those who have been hiding under a rock and don't know this I want to set the scene for you. In the men's all-around competition what they do is members of the team, three members of the team, it's a five-man team, participate in all of the events, and then the highest cumulative score wins the medal. They win the gold medal. And going into the event, you know that China and Japan are going to win gold and silver. There's really no one else that can touch them. But the U.S. has a chance to medal, to get the bronze for the first time in 16 years. And so hopes are high. And we are watching this earlier in the week. I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday. We're watching it and it was so fun. We're so enthusiastic about it. And everyone's doing what they're supposed to do. Everyone's doing their routines like they're supposed to do their routines. They're hitting their prime position. And then it gets to the final event. The final event is the pommel horse, which if you don't know what the pommel horse is, you're not missing much. It's real stupid. I don't know why it's an event. It doesn't make any sense to me. They spin around, and then they're on the ground. Fine. Listen, incredible amount of talent. It's just dumb to watch. That's the final event. And we've got one person who did pommel horse in college. They're never coming back. Sorry. It's the final event. And the Americans have this one guy on their team. And his specialty is the pommel horse. This is the only reason he's on the team. He doesn't participate in anything else. He's only there as a pommel horse assassin. That's his whole job. And he's the last one to go, the last event of the night. And all night, they keep panning over to him, telling him he's coming up. He's the pommel horse guy, and they're showing him, and he's just sitting in the back brooding. He's not looking at anything or anybody. He's totally expressionless. Every now and again you can tell he's mentally going through his routine and he's just sitting there stiff all night. And then he gets up and he does his routine and he nails it. And it was great. There was tears in our house. And listen, a lot of you probably know the story. You probably know who I'm talking about. But if you don't, I want you to picture in your head the hero of American gymnastics and national sport in general. And I want you to picture what you think this athletic hero looks like. Because whatever you're picturing ain't this. It's not that guy. That's not who you had in your head. That guy looks like an NC State grad who's writing code at a startup. That's what he looks like. If he didn't have that medal around his neck, you'd just think he was there for fun, like as a fan. But that's the guy, Steven Nedarosik. That's the guy. And he, the reason I bring him up is he embodies to me what is one of my favorite principles in life, which is this idea that no matter what people see in you, no matter what people say about you, no matter what you might say about yourself, don't try to convince them they're wrong with your words. Just put your head down, do the work, and let the results speak for themselves. Don't worry about what other people say. Don't worry about what other people might think. Just put your head down, control what you can control, do your work, and let the outcome of that work and of that effort speak for itself. And that's what he did. He steps up to the pommel horse, and he takes his glasses off, and he gets real squinty. And Chris Rock, in his commentary, said, don't tell him. He thinks he's doing the rings right now. He can't see nothing. But you're looking at this guy and you're like, this can't be the guy. But he put his head down. He did the work. And he was the guy. The results speak for themselves. I love this principle in life. I think it's such an important one that gets us through a lot of seasons and allows us to accomplish a lot of things. And one of the reasons I love this principle is because it's a very Christian principle. That principle of put your head down, do the work, don't worry about what other people think, just let the results speak for themselves. That's a very biblical principle. As a matter of fact, you can pull that right out of the book of 1 Timothy. So if you have a Bible, I'd love to invite you to turn to 1 Timothy 4, verse 12. It's going to be on the screen. If you have a Bible, if you read the one in front of you, it's the NIV. I learned this verse. It's been an important verse to me for most of my life. If you've ever done any youth ministry, this is a big, important verse. It's on the other side of that wall right there in our fourth and fifth grade classroom. But I memorized it young at a Baptist church in the King's English. So if you don't mind, I'm going to say it like that, but you guys read along. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4.12, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and in purity. So a little context for this verse so you understand a little bit more about what's going on and what Paul is saying specifically to Timothy. We're in a series now called 27 where last summer and this summer we took one book a week and we're going through all the books of the New Testament the 27 books of the New Testament last summer in this summer trying to give you a synopsis or a sense of what each book is about so for those who are not super familiar with the Bible maybe it becomes a little bit more approachable because you know what the books are about you know what you're gonna read when you sit down to read it's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace and our hope is if you know the Bible books are about, you know what you're going to read when you sit down to read it. It's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace. And our hope is if you know the Bible well, that as we highlight these books, that you see them through fresh eyes and maybe it inspires you to dive back into scripture on your own. This Sunday, we're actually going to cover or talk about, not going to cover, talk about the books of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus. Because together, those make up what are referred to as the pastoral epistles. Those are letters, most of Paul's letters were written to churches. To the church in Ephesus, to the church in Galatia, to the church in Thessalonica, and so on and so on. But these books, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, were written to individuals. 1 and 2 Timothy, you can figure out who that was written to. Titus, you know who that was written to. It's written to those men in particular that Paul had left behind and installed essentially as senior pastors over the churches that he had been planting. And so the letters to Timothy are to him as he takes over the church in Ephesus, one of the most impactful churches in early Christendom. Early Christendom may not have survived without the church in Ephesus. And so he installs Timothy as the pastor there, and he writes in these two letters as books of advice, words of advice to a young disciple as he takes over a church. And in that is a lot of wonderful things about what church should be and how it should operate and what the qualifications for the elders should be. We see that in Timothy and in Titus. If you're an elder at the church, you should be very familiar with these books. If you're a believer, you should be very interested in these books. But there was no way to group them together and cover everything in them. But what I thought we could do is pull out this one verse in 1 Timothy 4 and talk about that, because that is a verse that is universally applicable to every Christian. That's not pastoral advice. That's Christian advice. Let no man despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity charity and spirit and faith and in purity. And word and conversation means the way that you carry yourself, the way that you interact with people. In charity and in spirit, charity is love. It means the way that you love others. In spirit, it's the way that you carry yourself. In purity, it's this pursuit of holiness. So the way that I would sum this up is that Paul is telling Timothy, I know you think you're young. And I know you think that it's going to be difficult for people to listen to you. And trust me, this has been a very encouraging verse for me. Right now, I'm the ripe old age of 43, and I look every bit 46. But when I took the church over, I was 36. And I was worried about this. And this verse brought me comfort. Because Paul says, put your head down, do the work, be an example to those around you in your pursuit of holiness and the way you love others. That's a really simple way to understand it. Put your head down, do the work, and be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue holiness and in the way that you love others. And I believe that this verse applies to all of us equally. That when Paul is telling Timothy to do that, he's telling all Christians for all time to do that. And here's why I think this is true and why I think we need this advice from Paul this morning. Because there's two things about each and every one of you that are here right now or that can hear my voice right now from your home or wherever you're listening further into this week as you catch up. Here's something I know to be true of every single person who can hear me. Two things. The first is we are called and created to live spiritually impactful lives. Every single one of you, no matter how much you know it, no matter how much you admit it to yourself, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with that. Even if you're here this morning and you wouldn't yet call yourself a believer, you're here to support family, you're here because you're curious, you're here because church is nice, whatever brought you here, I believe that God has a purpose for your life. The Bible teaches that God has a purpose for your life, that you are called to live a spiritually impactful life that matters for all of eternity. Every single one is called to that, whether you realize it or acknowledge it or not. And I know this to be true because in myriad places and myriad ways throughout scripture, the authors emphasize this point. In 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13, we see this big long list of spiritual gifts. We're taught about the church as the body of Christ and how every part of the body has a part to play and a job to do, has a responsibility. And we're told that the Holy Spirit actually gifts us upon salvation to play our part, to contribute to God's kingdom. And that's not for pastors. That's not for leaders. That's not for the charismatic. That's not for the people who are bold and out there and in front of you. That's not an instruction for the elite few, for the spiritual Marines. That's not for them. It's for everyone. We are all given gifts. In Ephesians chapter four, those are the gifts of the spirit we see in first Corinthians 12 and 13 and we see again in Romans. But in Ephesians 4, we're told that Christ gives us gifts. That every one of us is gifted to be either an apostle, a prophet, an evangelist, a shepherd, or a teacher. That Christ himself imbues us with those gifts to be used in his kingdom to build his kingdom. Every one of us, I'm going to talk about this in a few weeks, every one of us is a kingdom builder of the kingdom of God. And we've been gifted to that end. And if those two things don't convince you, then maybe the verse that I bring up all the time will help you see. Ephesians 2.10, I love to remind you of this verse. It says that we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that you might walk in them. It teaches me that my job as a parent to John and Lily is not to craft them into who I want them to be. It's not to mold them into who I think they should be. It's to raise them in such a way that they can identify their good works and walk in those that were prepared for them before time. You, each of you, each and every one of you, it's absolutely true of you that when God knit you in your mother's womb, he knew your story, the gifts that he was going to give you, and the role that he had you to play in his kingdom. He's purposed every single one of you to live a spiritually impactful life, to impact the people around you for Christ. I'm reminded of the verse in Colossians that says that we are led in triumphal procession by Christ and through us will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of God. Each one of us as a believer is designed, created, called, and purposed to live lives that impact the people around us towards Christ. Every single one of us. I know that to be true of you. I know it to be true of you that you are called and created to live a spiritually impactful life. Here's the other thing I know to be true of you. We all doubt our capacity to actually do it. Every single one of us, as I'm up here ranting about your purpose to live a spiritually impactful life, all but the most arrogant and least self-aware of us are thinking to ourselves all the reasons why we can't make an impact, but we can't make that big of an impact. All of us have disqualifying voices in our life that keep us from fully embracing that. Timothy's disqualifying voice was, I might be too young. They might not listen. And Paul says, hey, don't listen to that voice. Put your head down, be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue purity and in the way that you love others. Let the outcome of those actions speak for themselves. As I sit here and tell you, you are called to live a spiritually impactful life. There is no doubt in my mind that all kinds of things are running through your head as to why you can't live a spiritually impactful life as that person over there. Each of you thinks that your counterpart on the other side of the room has a better chance of living a spiritually impactful life than you do, and you're all wrong. We're all called to that, but we all, here's the problem, have in our life these disqualifying voices that we're tempted to listen to. And more often than not, the loudest voice of disqualification is in your own head. The loudest voice that tells you, I really don't have much of a shot at making a difference in God's kingdom. I really am not going to be that impactful in my life. That voice, more often than not, comes from you, not the world. And we think things like maybe when you hear me talk about that, maybe your thought is Timothy's thought. I'm too young. No one will listen to me. I don't have enough experience. I don't have the resume to be spiritually impactful, to impact people towards Christ. Maybe you're on the other end of the spectrum. I'm too old. All my years are behind me. Whatever chance I had to make an impact has passed. I've missed my sweet spot. Now I'm just cruising it to home. There's nothing left for me to do. Maybe you think to yourself, I'm not that articulate. I don't like being in front of people. I'm not winsome. I'm not charismatic. Maybe when I talk about making a spiritual impact, you think, yeah, well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. And my world is so very small right now. And this sermon is for other people. It's not for me. Maybe you would disqualify yourself with your past. Say, yeah, man, you don't know what I've been and what I've done and where I've come from. Ain't nobody listening to me. Maybe you're new to Christianity. Maybe you're not new to Christianity, but you're new to taking it seriously. And so when I open up the Bible and talk about the different books in the Bible, you're not really familiar with them at all. And you're just thinking, I'm just trying to play catch up here, man. I'm not ready to go impact other people. I'm new to this. I don't know. They're going to ask me questions and I'm not going to know the answers. So I can't make an impact yet. I don't know what your disqualifying voice is trying to convince you of to make you step out of the race and not believe about yourself that you were created to live a spiritually impactful life. I don't know what's trying to convince you that you don't have a part to play in building God's kingdom while you're here on earth. But I do know that to our doubts, Paul tells us to put our heads down and pursue holiness. To whatever doubts you have in your head, to whatever your disqualifying voice is from spiritual service, Paul says to that voice, ignore it, put your head down, pursue holiness, love others, and watch what God does. He says to you, Paul says, let no man despise your past. Judge you based on mistakes that you've made before. Put your head down, pursue holiness, love others well, and watch what God does. Let nobody look down on your inexperience. You know the remedy to a past? A pure future. You know the remedy to inexperience? Experience. You know the remedy to thinking that you're too old or you're too young? Get in the ring and watch what God does. We write ourselves off from living spiritually impactful lives for so many reasons. And they're all lies. They're all lies that you tell yourself and that the enemy tells us to disqualify you from service in God's kingdom. And here's a really scary thing that dawned on me as I was preparing this. When we listen to the disqualifying voices, we do harm to those we love the most. Do you understand this? When we allow the voices from within and from without to convince us that we can't really take our faith that seriously because no one takes us seriously and God doesn't really have something he wants me to do and people he wants me to impact. When we believe that, when we fall prey to that and we step out of the ring and we're just coasting through our spiritual lives, we do the most harm to the people we love the most. What would have happened in Ephesus if Timothy had let those voices win? If Timothy had convinced himself that he was too young to be effective, and he stepped into the pulpit with timidity? Would Ephesus have slowly crumbled and dissolved away without leadership? I don't know. But if he was to choose to listen to those disqualifying voices, then he would not have served the people nearly like he needed to. More pointedly, parents, listen to me. If you don't take seriously your call to live a spiritually impactful life, if you let the voices talk you out of putting your head down and pursuing holiness and loving other people well. If you mail in your spiritual life and be content to be slightly above average. I'm good enough to check the box. I'm a good person. I'm going to heaven. My kids are going to heaven. If you just mail it in and go into cruise control for the rest of your life without pursuing God. Who's going to disciple your kids? Who's going to show your kids how to follow Christ? Who's going to model it for your children? If you refuse to put your head down and pursue holiness and love others well and let God in to let him use the gifts that he's given you, if you refuse to engage spiritually and don't take your spiritual health seriously and don't believe that you were placed in the life of your children to impact them towards Christ, if you won't do that for them, who will? Aaron? Children's pastor? Kyle? They get your kids for one hour a week. And let's just be honest about this. That's not even 52 weeks a year, okay? I've seen your church attendance. Let's be generous and call it like 40. They get your kids for 40 hours a year. They're going to disciple a kid in 40 hours a year? You get your kids for 100 hours a week. There is no one in your child's life better postured to love them towards Jesus than you. And when you refuse to engage in your own spiritual growth because the voices talk you out of it, you abscond on your duty to raise your kids in Christ and you thrust it on someone else and we shortchange them. When we choose to believe the disqualifying voices in our life, we hurt the people around us the most. The Bible tells us that marriage is to be a picture that reminds us of the way that Christ sacrificially loves the church. If you don't show your spouse day in and day out how Jesus loves the church by sacrificially loving them, if you're not trying to do that every day, if you're not taking seriously the call to impact your spouse towards Christ and watch God work in them, who's going to do that for you? If you don't take seriously the call in scripture to live a life building God's kingdom, pursuing holiness and loving others well, and letting God do what he will with the gifts, with the people around you? Who's going to be the pastor that your workplace so desperately needs? Who is your coworker going to come to when they need prayer because their mom's in the hospital? Who's going to invite your neighbor to the thing that's going to ignite them spiritually and reengage them with the church? Who's going to work in your circles of influence as only you can to impact people towards Christ? If you choose to allow the voices that disqualify you from Christian service, if you choose to allow them to win, if we don't take seriously this call from Paul to be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity, if we don't do that, who's going to step in and do our job for us? We are all called to live spiritually impactful lives. And we must take seriously that call. Now, on the flip side, can you imagine what could happen if we choose to pursue holiness and allow God to use the gifts he's given you. Can you imagine what could happen in your life if you left here and you said, okay, God, listen, I don't know what your plan is for me. I'm not even sure what the gifts you've given me are. I have no idea. But I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to love others well. I'm going to make my life available to you. You use my life to impact the people around me however you want. God, I want to live the rest of my life building your kingdom. What would happen if you left this place and you got on your knees this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning, and you said, God, I'm yours. Use me. I don't know to what end. I'm not convinced that I'm going to make any great impact. But I am convinced that I need to live the rest of my life opened up to the possibility that you want to use me in the lives of the people around me. So here, it's yours. I'm going to put my head down. I'm not going to listen to my disqualifying voices. I'm not going to listen to the disqualifying voices of the people around me. I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I love others. And I'm going to trust you with the results and let those speak for themselves. What could happen if we let God in our lives to use the gifts that he's given us? Well, I'll tell you one thing that could happen because we've seen it happen in real time here in this church over the last five or so years. I'm about to just, she probably will never come back to the church. But she's on staff, so she has to. I'm going to embarrass the heck out of Carly. You can leave the room now if you want to, Carly. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing. Carly was the lady singing right here this morning. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing, four or five years ago. But her origin story is she was our previous worship pastor's wife, Lisa, was in the restroom on a Sunday morning and heard an angelic voice coming out of a stall and stalked her and said, we need you on the worship team. You should try out. And Carly had to be cajoled. She had to be talked into it. Because she's not big on, she's not the first one to raise her hand and be like, yes, I would like to be in front of others and let them hear my voice every Sunday publicly. That's not her jam. So she had to be talked into it. And she reluctantly agreed. She auditioned. She did well. Let's get you on the team. So she starts coming up and leading worship. And here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that Carly led worship for about two full years before I actually heard her voice. Because it takes, it's true, isn't it? I don't know if you guys have ever thought about this. I've watched it happen whenever we recruit someone new to the team. It's one thing to have a pretty voice and be told that you have a nice voice. It's another thing to sing loudly enough and confidently enough into the microphone in front of other people to be heard above the mix. When there's someone up here singing and you can't hear them, it's not because Cindy doesn't have them turned up loud enough. It's because their Sunday morning voice is a little bit different than their Wednesday night voice. There's people in the room. It takes guts to step into that. But over time and over the years, Carly trusted us with her gift. She started to believe in God's purpose for her life in this area. And she started to trust it to God. And she started to trust it to us. And in the last, I would say, six to eight months, now when Carly leads a song, buddy, she's leading. She's belting. She's letting it rip. And every time she does it, I'm getting emotional right now. Every time she does it, I get emotional. And I get emotional because I think it's so beautiful when a child of God is using their gift from God to do exactly what he gave that gift to them to do. It is so powerful to think about the fact that when she was knit in her mother's womb, God says, I'm going to give this one a voice. And he didn't give her a voice so that she could sing pretty and entertain people. He didn't give her a voice so that she could bring attention to herself. Do you know why he gave her a voice? He gave her a voice so that he could hear it sing praises to him, so that he could hear his daughter sing to him in a way that he enjoyed. And he gave her a voice for his daughter to use to bring his other children into praise before his throne, into his presence. When she sings on Sunday and belts it out and lets it rip, she's using the gift that God gave her for the exact reason he gave it to her, and it's beautiful. And we would never experience it and be led into worship through her and through her gifting if she allowed the disqualifying voices to talk her out of it when she auditioned. If she allowed the disqualifying voice in her head to talk her out of it in the early years as she was getting her feet wet. And so we see what can happen in real time when we say, God, I don't know what you have for me and I don't know what my purpose is here, but I'm going to make my gifts available for you to use however you want to use them. In the meantime, I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I pursue you and in the way that I love others. Can you imagine what a church could look like if everyone in that church prayed that prayer and said, God, I don't know what you have for me to do. I don't even know how you've gifted me to do it. But I'm going to pursue you and I'm going to love others and whatever impact you want me to have, God, I'm ready to have it. Can you imagine what could happen with a church full of people who believe that? I'll tell you this. I'd like to find out. Let's pray. Father, we love you. Thank you for imbuing our lives with purpose that's bigger than us. Thank you for always encouraging us to put our heads down and to trust you with the gifts that you've given us. Thank you for being a steady voice in our life that tells us we don't have to believe the disqualifying things about ourselves. God, I pray that every person in here, whether it's today or five years from now, would allow you to open their eyes to the fact that you've called and created them to live spiritually impactful lives. Would those of us who've just been cruising, not taking things seriously, not being engaged, God, would we re-engage with you? Would we make disciples of our children? Would we be a pastor to our communities? Show us how you can use us if we simply get our doubts and our fears and our hesitancies out of the way and let you begin to work. God, I pray that you would bring it about. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If you've been following along, you know that normally I preach, but the past few weeks I haven't been doing that. So it's very good to be back and get to see you guys from up here. It was fun to prepare a message this week, and I'm excited to share that with you. The other thing I'm excited about right now is the Olympics. Who else has been watching every possible minute of Olympic coverage? It's been fantastic. We love it in our house and it's been really special this time around. Lily, our daughter, is eight so she can enjoy it with us. We stay up late and watch it and then we hit pause and then we get up in the morning and we finish and it's just been really, really fun. And for those of you who have been following along, you know that one of the stories of the Olympics so far has been the United States men's gymnastics team. In the all-around competition earlier this week for those who have been hiding under a rock and don't know this I want to set the scene for you. In the men's all-around competition what they do is members of the team, three members of the team, it's a five-man team, participate in all of the events, and then the highest cumulative score wins the medal. They win the gold medal. And going into the event, you know that China and Japan are going to win gold and silver. There's really no one else that can touch them. But the U.S. has a chance to medal, to get the bronze for the first time in 16 years. And so hopes are high. And we are watching this earlier in the week. I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday. We're watching it and it was so fun. We're so enthusiastic about it. And everyone's doing what they're supposed to do. Everyone's doing their routines like they're supposed to do their routines. They're hitting their prime position. And then it gets to the final event. The final event is the pommel horse, which if you don't know what the pommel horse is, you're not missing much. It's real stupid. I don't know why it's an event. It doesn't make any sense to me. They spin around, and then they're on the ground. Fine. Listen, incredible amount of talent. It's just dumb to watch. That's the final event. And we've got one person who did pommel horse in college. They're never coming back. Sorry. It's the final event. And the Americans have this one guy on their team. And his specialty is the pommel horse. This is the only reason he's on the team. He doesn't participate in anything else. He's only there as a pommel horse assassin. That's his whole job. And he's the last one to go, the last event of the night. And all night, they keep panning over to him, telling him he's coming up. He's the pommel horse guy, and they're showing him, and he's just sitting in the back brooding. He's not looking at anything or anybody. He's totally expressionless. Every now and again you can tell he's mentally going through his routine and he's just sitting there stiff all night. And then he gets up and he does his routine and he nails it. And it was great. There was tears in our house. And listen, a lot of you probably know the story. You probably know who I'm talking about. But if you don't, I want you to picture in your head the hero of American gymnastics and national sport in general. And I want you to picture what you think this athletic hero looks like. Because whatever you're picturing ain't this. It's not that guy. That's not who you had in your head. That guy looks like an NC State grad who's writing code at a startup. That's what he looks like. If he didn't have that medal around his neck, you'd just think he was there for fun, like as a fan. But that's the guy, Steven Nedarosik. That's the guy. And he, the reason I bring him up is he embodies to me what is one of my favorite principles in life, which is this idea that no matter what people see in you, no matter what people say about you, no matter what you might say about yourself, don't try to convince them they're wrong with your words. Just put your head down, do the work, and let the results speak for themselves. Don't worry about what other people say. Don't worry about what other people might think. Just put your head down, control what you can control, do your work, and let the outcome of that work and of that effort speak for itself. And that's what he did. He steps up to the pommel horse, and he takes his glasses off, and he gets real squinty. And Chris Rock, in his commentary, said, don't tell him. He thinks he's doing the rings right now. He can't see nothing. But you're looking at this guy and you're like, this can't be the guy. But he put his head down. He did the work. And he was the guy. The results speak for themselves. I love this principle in life. I think it's such an important one that gets us through a lot of seasons and allows us to accomplish a lot of things. And one of the reasons I love this principle is because it's a very Christian principle. That principle of put your head down, do the work, don't worry about what other people think, just let the results speak for themselves. That's a very biblical principle. As a matter of fact, you can pull that right out of the book of 1 Timothy. So if you have a Bible, I'd love to invite you to turn to 1 Timothy 4, verse 12. It's going to be on the screen. If you have a Bible, if you read the one in front of you, it's the NIV. I learned this verse. It's been an important verse to me for most of my life. If you've ever done any youth ministry, this is a big, important verse. It's on the other side of that wall right there in our fourth and fifth grade classroom. But I memorized it young at a Baptist church in the King's English. So if you don't mind, I'm going to say it like that, but you guys read along. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4.12, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and in purity. So a little context for this verse so you understand a little bit more about what's going on and what Paul is saying specifically to Timothy. We're in a series now called 27 where last summer and this summer we took one book a week and we're going through all the books of the New Testament the 27 books of the New Testament last summer in this summer trying to give you a synopsis or a sense of what each book is about so for those who are not super familiar with the Bible maybe it becomes a little bit more approachable because you know what the books are about you know what you're gonna read when you sit down to read it's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace and our hope is if you know the Bible books are about, you know what you're going to read when you sit down to read it. It's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace. And our hope is if you know the Bible well, that as we highlight these books, that you see them through fresh eyes and maybe it inspires you to dive back into scripture on your own. This Sunday, we're actually going to cover or talk about, not going to cover, talk about the books of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus. Because together, those make up what are referred to as the pastoral epistles. Those are letters, most of Paul's letters were written to churches. To the church in Ephesus, to the church in Galatia, to the church in Thessalonica, and so on and so on. But these books, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, were written to individuals. 1 and 2 Timothy, you can figure out who that was written to. Titus, you know who that was written to. It's written to those men in particular that Paul had left behind and installed essentially as senior pastors over the churches that he had been planting. And so the letters to Timothy are to him as he takes over the church in Ephesus, one of the most impactful churches in early Christendom. Early Christendom may not have survived without the church in Ephesus. And so he installs Timothy as the pastor there, and he writes in these two letters as books of advice, words of advice to a young disciple as he takes over a church. And in that is a lot of wonderful things about what church should be and how it should operate and what the qualifications for the elders should be. We see that in Timothy and in Titus. If you're an elder at the church, you should be very familiar with these books. If you're a believer, you should be very interested in these books. But there was no way to group them together and cover everything in them. But what I thought we could do is pull out this one verse in 1 Timothy 4 and talk about that, because that is a verse that is universally applicable to every Christian. That's not pastoral advice. That's Christian advice. Let no man despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity charity and spirit and faith and in purity. And word and conversation means the way that you carry yourself, the way that you interact with people. In charity and in spirit, charity is love. It means the way that you love others. In spirit, it's the way that you carry yourself. In purity, it's this pursuit of holiness. So the way that I would sum this up is that Paul is telling Timothy, I know you think you're young. And I know you think that it's going to be difficult for people to listen to you. And trust me, this has been a very encouraging verse for me. Right now, I'm the ripe old age of 43, and I look every bit 46. But when I took the church over, I was 36. And I was worried about this. And this verse brought me comfort. Because Paul says, put your head down, do the work, be an example to those around you in your pursuit of holiness and the way you love others. That's a really simple way to understand it. Put your head down, do the work, and be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue holiness and in the way that you love others. And I believe that this verse applies to all of us equally. That when Paul is telling Timothy to do that, he's telling all Christians for all time to do that. And here's why I think this is true and why I think we need this advice from Paul this morning. Because there's two things about each and every one of you that are here right now or that can hear my voice right now from your home or wherever you're listening further into this week as you catch up. Here's something I know to be true of every single person who can hear me. Two things. The first is we are called and created to live spiritually impactful lives. Every single one of you, no matter how much you know it, no matter how much you admit it to yourself, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with that. Even if you're here this morning and you wouldn't yet call yourself a believer, you're here to support family, you're here because you're curious, you're here because church is nice, whatever brought you here, I believe that God has a purpose for your life. The Bible teaches that God has a purpose for your life, that you are called to live a spiritually impactful life that matters for all of eternity. Every single one is called to that, whether you realize it or acknowledge it or not. And I know this to be true because in myriad places and myriad ways throughout scripture, the authors emphasize this point. In 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13, we see this big long list of spiritual gifts. We're taught about the church as the body of Christ and how every part of the body has a part to play and a job to do, has a responsibility. And we're told that the Holy Spirit actually gifts us upon salvation to play our part, to contribute to God's kingdom. And that's not for pastors. That's not for leaders. That's not for the charismatic. That's not for the people who are bold and out there and in front of you. That's not an instruction for the elite few, for the spiritual Marines. That's not for them. It's for everyone. We are all given gifts. In Ephesians chapter four, those are the gifts of the spirit we see in first Corinthians 12 and 13 and we see again in Romans. But in Ephesians 4, we're told that Christ gives us gifts. That every one of us is gifted to be either an apostle, a prophet, an evangelist, a shepherd, or a teacher. That Christ himself imbues us with those gifts to be used in his kingdom to build his kingdom. Every one of us, I'm going to talk about this in a few weeks, every one of us is a kingdom builder of the kingdom of God. And we've been gifted to that end. And if those two things don't convince you, then maybe the verse that I bring up all the time will help you see. Ephesians 2.10, I love to remind you of this verse. It says that we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that you might walk in them. It teaches me that my job as a parent to John and Lily is not to craft them into who I want them to be. It's not to mold them into who I think they should be. It's to raise them in such a way that they can identify their good works and walk in those that were prepared for them before time. You, each of you, each and every one of you, it's absolutely true of you that when God knit you in your mother's womb, he knew your story, the gifts that he was going to give you, and the role that he had you to play in his kingdom. He's purposed every single one of you to live a spiritually impactful life, to impact the people around you for Christ. I'm reminded of the verse in Colossians that says that we are led in triumphal procession by Christ and through us will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of God. Each one of us as a believer is designed, created, called, and purposed to live lives that impact the people around us towards Christ. Every single one of us. I know that to be true of you. I know it to be true of you that you are called and created to live a spiritually impactful life. Here's the other thing I know to be true of you. We all doubt our capacity to actually do it. Every single one of us, as I'm up here ranting about your purpose to live a spiritually impactful life, all but the most arrogant and least self-aware of us are thinking to ourselves all the reasons why we can't make an impact, but we can't make that big of an impact. All of us have disqualifying voices in our life that keep us from fully embracing that. Timothy's disqualifying voice was, I might be too young. They might not listen. And Paul says, hey, don't listen to that voice. Put your head down, be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue purity and in the way that you love others. Let the outcome of those actions speak for themselves. As I sit here and tell you, you are called to live a spiritually impactful life. There is no doubt in my mind that all kinds of things are running through your head as to why you can't live a spiritually impactful life as that person over there. Each of you thinks that your counterpart on the other side of the room has a better chance of living a spiritually impactful life than you do, and you're all wrong. We're all called to that, but we all, here's the problem, have in our life these disqualifying voices that we're tempted to listen to. And more often than not, the loudest voice of disqualification is in your own head. The loudest voice that tells you, I really don't have much of a shot at making a difference in God's kingdom. I really am not going to be that impactful in my life. That voice, more often than not, comes from you, not the world. And we think things like maybe when you hear me talk about that, maybe your thought is Timothy's thought. I'm too young. No one will listen to me. I don't have enough experience. I don't have the resume to be spiritually impactful, to impact people towards Christ. Maybe you're on the other end of the spectrum. I'm too old. All my years are behind me. Whatever chance I had to make an impact has passed. I've missed my sweet spot. Now I'm just cruising it to home. There's nothing left for me to do. Maybe you think to yourself, I'm not that articulate. I don't like being in front of people. I'm not winsome. I'm not charismatic. Maybe when I talk about making a spiritual impact, you think, yeah, well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. And my world is so very small right now. And this sermon is for other people. It's not for me. Maybe you would disqualify yourself with your past. Say, yeah, man, you don't know what I've been and what I've done and where I've come from. Ain't nobody listening to me. Maybe you're new to Christianity. Maybe you're not new to Christianity, but you're new to taking it seriously. And so when I open up the Bible and talk about the different books in the Bible, you're not really familiar with them at all. And you're just thinking, I'm just trying to play catch up here, man. I'm not ready to go impact other people. I'm new to this. I don't know. They're going to ask me questions and I'm not going to know the answers. So I can't make an impact yet. I don't know what your disqualifying voice is trying to convince you of to make you step out of the race and not believe about yourself that you were created to live a spiritually impactful life. I don't know what's trying to convince you that you don't have a part to play in building God's kingdom while you're here on earth. But I do know that to our doubts, Paul tells us to put our heads down and pursue holiness. To whatever doubts you have in your head, to whatever your disqualifying voice is from spiritual service, Paul says to that voice, ignore it, put your head down, pursue holiness, love others, and watch what God does. He says to you, Paul says, let no man despise your past. Judge you based on mistakes that you've made before. Put your head down, pursue holiness, love others well, and watch what God does. Let nobody look down on your inexperience. You know the remedy to a past? A pure future. You know the remedy to inexperience? Experience. You know the remedy to thinking that you're too old or you're too young? Get in the ring and watch what God does. We write ourselves off from living spiritually impactful lives for so many reasons. And they're all lies. They're all lies that you tell yourself and that the enemy tells us to disqualify you from service in God's kingdom. And here's a really scary thing that dawned on me as I was preparing this. When we listen to the disqualifying voices, we do harm to those we love the most. Do you understand this? When we allow the voices from within and from without to convince us that we can't really take our faith that seriously because no one takes us seriously and God doesn't really have something he wants me to do and people he wants me to impact. When we believe that, when we fall prey to that and we step out of the ring and we're just coasting through our spiritual lives, we do the most harm to the people we love the most. What would have happened in Ephesus if Timothy had let those voices win? If Timothy had convinced himself that he was too young to be effective, and he stepped into the pulpit with timidity? Would Ephesus have slowly crumbled and dissolved away without leadership? I don't know. But if he was to choose to listen to those disqualifying voices, then he would not have served the people nearly like he needed to. More pointedly, parents, listen to me. If you don't take seriously your call to live a spiritually impactful life, if you let the voices talk you out of putting your head down and pursuing holiness and loving other people well. If you mail in your spiritual life and be content to be slightly above average. I'm good enough to check the box. I'm a good person. I'm going to heaven. My kids are going to heaven. If you just mail it in and go into cruise control for the rest of your life without pursuing God. Who's going to disciple your kids? Who's going to show your kids how to follow Christ? Who's going to model it for your children? If you refuse to put your head down and pursue holiness and love others well and let God in to let him use the gifts that he's given you, if you refuse to engage spiritually and don't take your spiritual health seriously and don't believe that you were placed in the life of your children to impact them towards Christ, if you won't do that for them, who will? Aaron? Children's pastor? Kyle? They get your kids for one hour a week. And let's just be honest about this. That's not even 52 weeks a year, okay? I've seen your church attendance. Let's be generous and call it like 40. They get your kids for 40 hours a year. They're going to disciple a kid in 40 hours a year? You get your kids for 100 hours a week. There is no one in your child's life better postured to love them towards Jesus than you. And when you refuse to engage in your own spiritual growth because the voices talk you out of it, you abscond on your duty to raise your kids in Christ and you thrust it on someone else and we shortchange them. When we choose to believe the disqualifying voices in our life, we hurt the people around us the most. The Bible tells us that marriage is to be a picture that reminds us of the way that Christ sacrificially loves the church. If you don't show your spouse day in and day out how Jesus loves the church by sacrificially loving them, if you're not trying to do that every day, if you're not taking seriously the call to impact your spouse towards Christ and watch God work in them, who's going to do that for you? If you don't take seriously the call in scripture to live a life building God's kingdom, pursuing holiness and loving others well, and letting God do what he will with the gifts, with the people around you? Who's going to be the pastor that your workplace so desperately needs? Who is your coworker going to come to when they need prayer because their mom's in the hospital? Who's going to invite your neighbor to the thing that's going to ignite them spiritually and reengage them with the church? Who's going to work in your circles of influence as only you can to impact people towards Christ? If you choose to allow the voices that disqualify you from Christian service, if you choose to allow them to win, if we don't take seriously this call from Paul to be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity, if we don't do that, who's going to step in and do our job for us? We are all called to live spiritually impactful lives. And we must take seriously that call. Now, on the flip side, can you imagine what could happen if we choose to pursue holiness and allow God to use the gifts he's given you. Can you imagine what could happen in your life if you left here and you said, okay, God, listen, I don't know what your plan is for me. I'm not even sure what the gifts you've given me are. I have no idea. But I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to love others well. I'm going to make my life available to you. You use my life to impact the people around me however you want. God, I want to live the rest of my life building your kingdom. What would happen if you left this place and you got on your knees this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning, and you said, God, I'm yours. Use me. I don't know to what end. I'm not convinced that I'm going to make any great impact. But I am convinced that I need to live the rest of my life opened up to the possibility that you want to use me in the lives of the people around me. So here, it's yours. I'm going to put my head down. I'm not going to listen to my disqualifying voices. I'm not going to listen to the disqualifying voices of the people around me. I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I love others. And I'm going to trust you with the results and let those speak for themselves. What could happen if we let God in our lives to use the gifts that he's given us? Well, I'll tell you one thing that could happen because we've seen it happen in real time here in this church over the last five or so years. I'm about to just, she probably will never come back to the church. But she's on staff, so she has to. I'm going to embarrass the heck out of Carly. You can leave the room now if you want to, Carly. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing. Carly was the lady singing right here this morning. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing, four or five years ago. But her origin story is she was our previous worship pastor's wife, Lisa, was in the restroom on a Sunday morning and heard an angelic voice coming out of a stall and stalked her and said, we need you on the worship team. You should try out. And Carly had to be cajoled. She had to be talked into it. Because she's not big on, she's not the first one to raise her hand and be like, yes, I would like to be in front of others and let them hear my voice every Sunday publicly. That's not her jam. So she had to be talked into it. And she reluctantly agreed. She auditioned. She did well. Let's get you on the team. So she starts coming up and leading worship. And here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that Carly led worship for about two full years before I actually heard her voice. Because it takes, it's true, isn't it? I don't know if you guys have ever thought about this. I've watched it happen whenever we recruit someone new to the team. It's one thing to have a pretty voice and be told that you have a nice voice. It's another thing to sing loudly enough and confidently enough into the microphone in front of other people to be heard above the mix. When there's someone up here singing and you can't hear them, it's not because Cindy doesn't have them turned up loud enough. It's because their Sunday morning voice is a little bit different than their Wednesday night voice. There's people in the room. It takes guts to step into that. But over time and over the years, Carly trusted us with her gift. She started to believe in God's purpose for her life in this area. And she started to trust it to God. And she started to trust it to us. And in the last, I would say, six to eight months, now when Carly leads a song, buddy, she's leading. She's belting. She's letting it rip. And every time she does it, I'm getting emotional right now. Every time she does it, I get emotional. And I get emotional because I think it's so beautiful when a child of God is using their gift from God to do exactly what he gave that gift to them to do. It is so powerful to think about the fact that when she was knit in her mother's womb, God says, I'm going to give this one a voice. And he didn't give her a voice so that she could sing pretty and entertain people. He didn't give her a voice so that she could bring attention to herself. Do you know why he gave her a voice? He gave her a voice so that he could hear it sing praises to him, so that he could hear his daughter sing to him in a way that he enjoyed. And he gave her a voice for his daughter to use to bring his other children into praise before his throne, into his presence. When she sings on Sunday and belts it out and lets it rip, she's using the gift that God gave her for the exact reason he gave it to her, and it's beautiful. And we would never experience it and be led into worship through her and through her gifting if she allowed the disqualifying voices to talk her out of it when she auditioned. If she allowed the disqualifying voice in her head to talk her out of it in the early years as she was getting her feet wet. And so we see what can happen in real time when we say, God, I don't know what you have for me and I don't know what my purpose is here, but I'm going to make my gifts available for you to use however you want to use them. In the meantime, I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I pursue you and in the way that I love others. Can you imagine what a church could look like if everyone in that church prayed that prayer and said, God, I don't know what you have for me to do. I don't even know how you've gifted me to do it. But I'm going to pursue you and I'm going to love others and whatever impact you want me to have, God, I'm ready to have it. Can you imagine what could happen with a church full of people who believe that? I'll tell you this. I'd like to find out. Let's pray. Father, we love you. Thank you for imbuing our lives with purpose that's bigger than us. Thank you for always encouraging us to put our heads down and to trust you with the gifts that you've given us. Thank you for being a steady voice in our life that tells us we don't have to believe the disqualifying things about ourselves. God, I pray that every person in here, whether it's today or five years from now, would allow you to open their eyes to the fact that you've called and created them to live spiritually impactful lives. Would those of us who've just been cruising, not taking things seriously, not being engaged, God, would we re-engage with you? Would we make disciples of our children? Would we be a pastor to our communities? Show us how you can use us if we simply get our doubts and our fears and our hesitancies out of the way and let you begin to work. God, I pray that you would bring it about. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning, everyone. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If you've been following along, you know that normally I preach, but the past few weeks I haven't been doing that. So it's very good to be back and get to see you guys from up here. It was fun to prepare a message this week, and I'm excited to share that with you. The other thing I'm excited about right now is the Olympics. Who else has been watching every possible minute of Olympic coverage? It's been fantastic. We love it in our house and it's been really special this time around. Lily, our daughter, is eight so she can enjoy it with us. We stay up late and watch it and then we hit pause and then we get up in the morning and we finish and it's just been really, really fun. And for those of you who have been following along, you know that one of the stories of the Olympics so far has been the United States men's gymnastics team. In the all-around competition earlier this week for those who have been hiding under a rock and don't know this I want to set the scene for you. In the men's all-around competition what they do is members of the team, three members of the team, it's a five-man team, participate in all of the events, and then the highest cumulative score wins the medal. They win the gold medal. And going into the event, you know that China and Japan are going to win gold and silver. There's really no one else that can touch them. But the U.S. has a chance to medal, to get the bronze for the first time in 16 years. And so hopes are high. And we are watching this earlier in the week. I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday. We're watching it and it was so fun. We're so enthusiastic about it. And everyone's doing what they're supposed to do. Everyone's doing their routines like they're supposed to do their routines. They're hitting their prime position. And then it gets to the final event. The final event is the pommel horse, which if you don't know what the pommel horse is, you're not missing much. It's real stupid. I don't know why it's an event. It doesn't make any sense to me. They spin around, and then they're on the ground. Fine. Listen, incredible amount of talent. It's just dumb to watch. That's the final event. And we've got one person who did pommel horse in college. They're never coming back. Sorry. It's the final event. And the Americans have this one guy on their team. And his specialty is the pommel horse. This is the only reason he's on the team. He doesn't participate in anything else. He's only there as a pommel horse assassin. That's his whole job. And he's the last one to go, the last event of the night. And all night, they keep panning over to him, telling him he's coming up. He's the pommel horse guy, and they're showing him, and he's just sitting in the back brooding. He's not looking at anything or anybody. He's totally expressionless. Every now and again you can tell he's mentally going through his routine and he's just sitting there stiff all night. And then he gets up and he does his routine and he nails it. And it was great. There was tears in our house. And listen, a lot of you probably know the story. You probably know who I'm talking about. But if you don't, I want you to picture in your head the hero of American gymnastics and national sport in general. And I want you to picture what you think this athletic hero looks like. Because whatever you're picturing ain't this. It's not that guy. That's not who you had in your head. That guy looks like an NC State grad who's writing code at a startup. That's what he looks like. If he didn't have that medal around his neck, you'd just think he was there for fun, like as a fan. But that's the guy, Steven Nedarosik. That's the guy. And he, the reason I bring him up is he embodies to me what is one of my favorite principles in life, which is this idea that no matter what people see in you, no matter what people say about you, no matter what you might say about yourself, don't try to convince them they're wrong with your words. Just put your head down, do the work, and let the results speak for themselves. Don't worry about what other people say. Don't worry about what other people might think. Just put your head down, control what you can control, do your work, and let the outcome of that work and of that effort speak for itself. And that's what he did. He steps up to the pommel horse, and he takes his glasses off, and he gets real squinty. And Chris Rock, in his commentary, said, don't tell him. He thinks he's doing the rings right now. He can't see nothing. But you're looking at this guy and you're like, this can't be the guy. But he put his head down. He did the work. And he was the guy. The results speak for themselves. I love this principle in life. I think it's such an important one that gets us through a lot of seasons and allows us to accomplish a lot of things. And one of the reasons I love this principle is because it's a very Christian principle. That principle of put your head down, do the work, don't worry about what other people think, just let the results speak for themselves. That's a very biblical principle. As a matter of fact, you can pull that right out of the book of 1 Timothy. So if you have a Bible, I'd love to invite you to turn to 1 Timothy 4, verse 12. It's going to be on the screen. If you have a Bible, if you read the one in front of you, it's the NIV. I learned this verse. It's been an important verse to me for most of my life. If you've ever done any youth ministry, this is a big, important verse. It's on the other side of that wall right there in our fourth and fifth grade classroom. But I memorized it young at a Baptist church in the King's English. So if you don't mind, I'm going to say it like that, but you guys read along. Paul writes in 1 Timothy 4.12, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and in purity. So a little context for this verse so you understand a little bit more about what's going on and what Paul is saying specifically to Timothy. We're in a series now called 27 where last summer and this summer we took one book a week and we're going through all the books of the New Testament the 27 books of the New Testament last summer in this summer trying to give you a synopsis or a sense of what each book is about so for those who are not super familiar with the Bible maybe it becomes a little bit more approachable because you know what the books are about you know what you're gonna read when you sit down to read it's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace and our hope is if you know the Bible books are about, you know what you're going to read when you sit down to read it. It's to raise the biblical literacy of the partnership of grace. And our hope is if you know the Bible well, that as we highlight these books, that you see them through fresh eyes and maybe it inspires you to dive back into scripture on your own. This Sunday, we're actually going to cover or talk about, not going to cover, talk about the books of 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus. Because together, those make up what are referred to as the pastoral epistles. Those are letters, most of Paul's letters were written to churches. To the church in Ephesus, to the church in Galatia, to the church in Thessalonica, and so on and so on. But these books, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, were written to individuals. 1 and 2 Timothy, you can figure out who that was written to. Titus, you know who that was written to. It's written to those men in particular that Paul had left behind and installed essentially as senior pastors over the churches that he had been planting. And so the letters to Timothy are to him as he takes over the church in Ephesus, one of the most impactful churches in early Christendom. Early Christendom may not have survived without the church in Ephesus. And so he installs Timothy as the pastor there, and he writes in these two letters as books of advice, words of advice to a young disciple as he takes over a church. And in that is a lot of wonderful things about what church should be and how it should operate and what the qualifications for the elders should be. We see that in Timothy and in Titus. If you're an elder at the church, you should be very familiar with these books. If you're a believer, you should be very interested in these books. But there was no way to group them together and cover everything in them. But what I thought we could do is pull out this one verse in 1 Timothy 4 and talk about that, because that is a verse that is universally applicable to every Christian. That's not pastoral advice. That's Christian advice. Let no man despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity charity and spirit and faith and in purity. And word and conversation means the way that you carry yourself, the way that you interact with people. In charity and in spirit, charity is love. It means the way that you love others. In spirit, it's the way that you carry yourself. In purity, it's this pursuit of holiness. So the way that I would sum this up is that Paul is telling Timothy, I know you think you're young. And I know you think that it's going to be difficult for people to listen to you. And trust me, this has been a very encouraging verse for me. Right now, I'm the ripe old age of 43, and I look every bit 46. But when I took the church over, I was 36. And I was worried about this. And this verse brought me comfort. Because Paul says, put your head down, do the work, be an example to those around you in your pursuit of holiness and the way you love others. That's a really simple way to understand it. Put your head down, do the work, and be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue holiness and in the way that you love others. And I believe that this verse applies to all of us equally. That when Paul is telling Timothy to do that, he's telling all Christians for all time to do that. And here's why I think this is true and why I think we need this advice from Paul this morning. Because there's two things about each and every one of you that are here right now or that can hear my voice right now from your home or wherever you're listening further into this week as you catch up. Here's something I know to be true of every single person who can hear me. Two things. The first is we are called and created to live spiritually impactful lives. Every single one of you, no matter how much you know it, no matter how much you admit it to yourself, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with that. Even if you're here this morning and you wouldn't yet call yourself a believer, you're here to support family, you're here because you're curious, you're here because church is nice, whatever brought you here, I believe that God has a purpose for your life. The Bible teaches that God has a purpose for your life, that you are called to live a spiritually impactful life that matters for all of eternity. Every single one is called to that, whether you realize it or acknowledge it or not. And I know this to be true because in myriad places and myriad ways throughout scripture, the authors emphasize this point. In 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13, we see this big long list of spiritual gifts. We're taught about the church as the body of Christ and how every part of the body has a part to play and a job to do, has a responsibility. And we're told that the Holy Spirit actually gifts us upon salvation to play our part, to contribute to God's kingdom. And that's not for pastors. That's not for leaders. That's not for the charismatic. That's not for the people who are bold and out there and in front of you. That's not an instruction for the elite few, for the spiritual Marines. That's not for them. It's for everyone. We are all given gifts. In Ephesians chapter four, those are the gifts of the spirit we see in first Corinthians 12 and 13 and we see again in Romans. But in Ephesians 4, we're told that Christ gives us gifts. That every one of us is gifted to be either an apostle, a prophet, an evangelist, a shepherd, or a teacher. That Christ himself imbues us with those gifts to be used in his kingdom to build his kingdom. Every one of us, I'm going to talk about this in a few weeks, every one of us is a kingdom builder of the kingdom of God. And we've been gifted to that end. And if those two things don't convince you, then maybe the verse that I bring up all the time will help you see. Ephesians 2.10, I love to remind you of this verse. It says that we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that you might walk in them. It teaches me that my job as a parent to John and Lily is not to craft them into who I want them to be. It's not to mold them into who I think they should be. It's to raise them in such a way that they can identify their good works and walk in those that were prepared for them before time. You, each of you, each and every one of you, it's absolutely true of you that when God knit you in your mother's womb, he knew your story, the gifts that he was going to give you, and the role that he had you to play in his kingdom. He's purposed every single one of you to live a spiritually impactful life, to impact the people around you for Christ. I'm reminded of the verse in Colossians that says that we are led in triumphal procession by Christ and through us will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of God. Each one of us as a believer is designed, created, called, and purposed to live lives that impact the people around us towards Christ. Every single one of us. I know that to be true of you. I know it to be true of you that you are called and created to live a spiritually impactful life. Here's the other thing I know to be true of you. We all doubt our capacity to actually do it. Every single one of us, as I'm up here ranting about your purpose to live a spiritually impactful life, all but the most arrogant and least self-aware of us are thinking to ourselves all the reasons why we can't make an impact, but we can't make that big of an impact. All of us have disqualifying voices in our life that keep us from fully embracing that. Timothy's disqualifying voice was, I might be too young. They might not listen. And Paul says, hey, don't listen to that voice. Put your head down, be an example to the believers in the way that you pursue purity and in the way that you love others. Let the outcome of those actions speak for themselves. As I sit here and tell you, you are called to live a spiritually impactful life. There is no doubt in my mind that all kinds of things are running through your head as to why you can't live a spiritually impactful life as that person over there. Each of you thinks that your counterpart on the other side of the room has a better chance of living a spiritually impactful life than you do, and you're all wrong. We're all called to that, but we all, here's the problem, have in our life these disqualifying voices that we're tempted to listen to. And more often than not, the loudest voice of disqualification is in your own head. The loudest voice that tells you, I really don't have much of a shot at making a difference in God's kingdom. I really am not going to be that impactful in my life. That voice, more often than not, comes from you, not the world. And we think things like maybe when you hear me talk about that, maybe your thought is Timothy's thought. I'm too young. No one will listen to me. I don't have enough experience. I don't have the resume to be spiritually impactful, to impact people towards Christ. Maybe you're on the other end of the spectrum. I'm too old. All my years are behind me. Whatever chance I had to make an impact has passed. I've missed my sweet spot. Now I'm just cruising it to home. There's nothing left for me to do. Maybe you think to yourself, I'm not that articulate. I don't like being in front of people. I'm not winsome. I'm not charismatic. Maybe when I talk about making a spiritual impact, you think, yeah, well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. And my world is so very small right now. And this sermon is for other people. It's not for me. Maybe you would disqualify yourself with your past. Say, yeah, man, you don't know what I've been and what I've done and where I've come from. Ain't nobody listening to me. Maybe you're new to Christianity. Maybe you're not new to Christianity, but you're new to taking it seriously. And so when I open up the Bible and talk about the different books in the Bible, you're not really familiar with them at all. And you're just thinking, I'm just trying to play catch up here, man. I'm not ready to go impact other people. I'm new to this. I don't know. They're going to ask me questions and I'm not going to know the answers. So I can't make an impact yet. I don't know what your disqualifying voice is trying to convince you of to make you step out of the race and not believe about yourself that you were created to live a spiritually impactful life. I don't know what's trying to convince you that you don't have a part to play in building God's kingdom while you're here on earth. But I do know that to our doubts, Paul tells us to put our heads down and pursue holiness. To whatever doubts you have in your head, to whatever your disqualifying voice is from spiritual service, Paul says to that voice, ignore it, put your head down, pursue holiness, love others, and watch what God does. He says to you, Paul says, let no man despise your past. Judge you based on mistakes that you've made before. Put your head down, pursue holiness, love others well, and watch what God does. Let nobody look down on your inexperience. You know the remedy to a past? A pure future. You know the remedy to inexperience? Experience. You know the remedy to thinking that you're too old or you're too young? Get in the ring and watch what God does. We write ourselves off from living spiritually impactful lives for so many reasons. And they're all lies. They're all lies that you tell yourself and that the enemy tells us to disqualify you from service in God's kingdom. And here's a really scary thing that dawned on me as I was preparing this. When we listen to the disqualifying voices, we do harm to those we love the most. Do you understand this? When we allow the voices from within and from without to convince us that we can't really take our faith that seriously because no one takes us seriously and God doesn't really have something he wants me to do and people he wants me to impact. When we believe that, when we fall prey to that and we step out of the ring and we're just coasting through our spiritual lives, we do the most harm to the people we love the most. What would have happened in Ephesus if Timothy had let those voices win? If Timothy had convinced himself that he was too young to be effective, and he stepped into the pulpit with timidity? Would Ephesus have slowly crumbled and dissolved away without leadership? I don't know. But if he was to choose to listen to those disqualifying voices, then he would not have served the people nearly like he needed to. More pointedly, parents, listen to me. If you don't take seriously your call to live a spiritually impactful life, if you let the voices talk you out of putting your head down and pursuing holiness and loving other people well. If you mail in your spiritual life and be content to be slightly above average. I'm good enough to check the box. I'm a good person. I'm going to heaven. My kids are going to heaven. If you just mail it in and go into cruise control for the rest of your life without pursuing God. Who's going to disciple your kids? Who's going to show your kids how to follow Christ? Who's going to model it for your children? If you refuse to put your head down and pursue holiness and love others well and let God in to let him use the gifts that he's given you, if you refuse to engage spiritually and don't take your spiritual health seriously and don't believe that you were placed in the life of your children to impact them towards Christ, if you won't do that for them, who will? Aaron? Children's pastor? Kyle? They get your kids for one hour a week. And let's just be honest about this. That's not even 52 weeks a year, okay? I've seen your church attendance. Let's be generous and call it like 40. They get your kids for 40 hours a year. They're going to disciple a kid in 40 hours a year? You get your kids for 100 hours a week. There is no one in your child's life better postured to love them towards Jesus than you. And when you refuse to engage in your own spiritual growth because the voices talk you out of it, you abscond on your duty to raise your kids in Christ and you thrust it on someone else and we shortchange them. When we choose to believe the disqualifying voices in our life, we hurt the people around us the most. The Bible tells us that marriage is to be a picture that reminds us of the way that Christ sacrificially loves the church. If you don't show your spouse day in and day out how Jesus loves the church by sacrificially loving them, if you're not trying to do that every day, if you're not taking seriously the call to impact your spouse towards Christ and watch God work in them, who's going to do that for you? If you don't take seriously the call in scripture to live a life building God's kingdom, pursuing holiness and loving others well, and letting God do what he will with the gifts, with the people around you? Who's going to be the pastor that your workplace so desperately needs? Who is your coworker going to come to when they need prayer because their mom's in the hospital? Who's going to invite your neighbor to the thing that's going to ignite them spiritually and reengage them with the church? Who's going to work in your circles of influence as only you can to impact people towards Christ? If you choose to allow the voices that disqualify you from Christian service, if you choose to allow them to win, if we don't take seriously this call from Paul to be an example to the believers in word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity, if we don't do that, who's going to step in and do our job for us? We are all called to live spiritually impactful lives. And we must take seriously that call. Now, on the flip side, can you imagine what could happen if we choose to pursue holiness and allow God to use the gifts he's given you. Can you imagine what could happen in your life if you left here and you said, okay, God, listen, I don't know what your plan is for me. I'm not even sure what the gifts you've given me are. I have no idea. But I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to love others well. I'm going to make my life available to you. You use my life to impact the people around me however you want. God, I want to live the rest of my life building your kingdom. What would happen if you left this place and you got on your knees this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning, and you said, God, I'm yours. Use me. I don't know to what end. I'm not convinced that I'm going to make any great impact. But I am convinced that I need to live the rest of my life opened up to the possibility that you want to use me in the lives of the people around me. So here, it's yours. I'm going to put my head down. I'm not going to listen to my disqualifying voices. I'm not going to listen to the disqualifying voices of the people around me. I'm going to put my head down. I'm going to do the work. I'm going to pursue holiness. I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I love others. And I'm going to trust you with the results and let those speak for themselves. What could happen if we let God in our lives to use the gifts that he's given us? Well, I'll tell you one thing that could happen because we've seen it happen in real time here in this church over the last five or so years. I'm about to just, she probably will never come back to the church. But she's on staff, so she has to. I'm going to embarrass the heck out of Carly. You can leave the room now if you want to, Carly. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing. Carly was the lady singing right here this morning. I don't know how long ago it was that she started singing, four or five years ago. But her origin story is she was our previous worship pastor's wife, Lisa, was in the restroom on a Sunday morning and heard an angelic voice coming out of a stall and stalked her and said, we need you on the worship team. You should try out. And Carly had to be cajoled. She had to be talked into it. Because she's not big on, she's not the first one to raise her hand and be like, yes, I would like to be in front of others and let them hear my voice every Sunday publicly. That's not her jam. So she had to be talked into it. And she reluctantly agreed. She auditioned. She did well. Let's get you on the team. So she starts coming up and leading worship. And here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that Carly led worship for about two full years before I actually heard her voice. Because it takes, it's true, isn't it? I don't know if you guys have ever thought about this. I've watched it happen whenever we recruit someone new to the team. It's one thing to have a pretty voice and be told that you have a nice voice. It's another thing to sing loudly enough and confidently enough into the microphone in front of other people to be heard above the mix. When there's someone up here singing and you can't hear them, it's not because Cindy doesn't have them turned up loud enough. It's because their Sunday morning voice is a little bit different than their Wednesday night voice. There's people in the room. It takes guts to step into that. But over time and over the years, Carly trusted us with her gift. She started to believe in God's purpose for her life in this area. And she started to trust it to God. And she started to trust it to us. And in the last, I would say, six to eight months, now when Carly leads a song, buddy, she's leading. She's belting. She's letting it rip. And every time she does it, I'm getting emotional right now. Every time she does it, I get emotional. And I get emotional because I think it's so beautiful when a child of God is using their gift from God to do exactly what he gave that gift to them to do. It is so powerful to think about the fact that when she was knit in her mother's womb, God says, I'm going to give this one a voice. And he didn't give her a voice so that she could sing pretty and entertain people. He didn't give her a voice so that she could bring attention to herself. Do you know why he gave her a voice? He gave her a voice so that he could hear it sing praises to him, so that he could hear his daughter sing to him in a way that he enjoyed. And he gave her a voice for his daughter to use to bring his other children into praise before his throne, into his presence. When she sings on Sunday and belts it out and lets it rip, she's using the gift that God gave her for the exact reason he gave it to her, and it's beautiful. And we would never experience it and be led into worship through her and through her gifting if she allowed the disqualifying voices to talk her out of it when she auditioned. If she allowed the disqualifying voice in her head to talk her out of it in the early years as she was getting her feet wet. And so we see what can happen in real time when we say, God, I don't know what you have for me and I don't know what my purpose is here, but I'm going to make my gifts available for you to use however you want to use them. In the meantime, I'm going to be an example to the believers in the way that I pursue you and in the way that I love others. Can you imagine what a church could look like if everyone in that church prayed that prayer and said, God, I don't know what you have for me to do. I don't even know how you've gifted me to do it. But I'm going to pursue you and I'm going to love others and whatever impact you want me to have, God, I'm ready to have it. Can you imagine what could happen with a church full of people who believe that? I'll tell you this. I'd like to find out. Let's pray. Father, we love you. Thank you for imbuing our lives with purpose that's bigger than us. Thank you for always encouraging us to put our heads down and to trust you with the gifts that you've given us. Thank you for being a steady voice in our life that tells us we don't have to believe the disqualifying things about ourselves. God, I pray that every person in here, whether it's today or five years from now, would allow you to open their eyes to the fact that you've called and created them to live spiritually impactful lives. Would those of us who've just been cruising, not taking things seriously, not being engaged, God, would we re-engage with you? Would we make disciples of our children? Would we be a pastor to our communities? Show us how you can use us if we simply get our doubts and our fears and our hesitancies out of the way and let you begin to work. God, I pray that you would bring it about. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, good morning, everyone. It's good to see you. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks for making us a part of your Sunday. Thanks for braving the treacherous roads to be here. We hope that we will make it worth your while. Just a point of clarity, when Michelle said that Nate and Aaron are going to be sharing some stuff with the parents at the end of the month, that's Aaron Winston, our children's pastor, not Aaron Gibson, our worship leader. No one cares. So it's the Aaron with some heft. So like Michelle said, this is the second part of our series called Prayers for You. I keep calling it Prayers for Grace. It's called Prayers for You, where we're opening up the year with some prayers over different aspects of our life. Last week, we talked about just grace in general. We looked at a prayer in the book of Colossians, and I invited you to kind of make that your prayer over yourselves and your families for this year. We're making it the prayer of grace this year. And this week, we're going to, and so now for the next three weeks, we're going to look at different aspects of our life and see if we can find a prayer in scripture that we can pray this year over that area of our life. And so this week, I want us to look at a prayer for our families and in particular, a prayer for our children and for their children. And so just up front, as I say that, and I tell you what the topic is this morning, I understand that not everybody in the room has genetic children. I understand that. And I know that for some of you, it's because you don't want them. For some of you, it's because you haven't had the opportunity. You'd love to have the opportunity. You really want kids. And so this might be a painful topic to bring up. And for that, I'm sorry. But I hope that those of you who do not have genetic children have some people in your life somewhere that you can love on and pour into and think about what kind of legacy you can leave for them. But for a lot of us, we have kids or we have plans to have them and we have every reason to believe that we can and we will. So this sermon is for you guys. As I think about families, I wanted to start off by sharing with you probably the greatest way that my parents have disappointed me in my life. And full disclosure, I'm going to have to mention them a couple of times today because of the nature of the topic, but I scheduled this sermon on this week and then wrote this sermon not knowing that they were going to be here. They're right over there. There's like no one even next to them. They're just sitting there. It's like there's a spotlight on them. They're in town this week for my daughter Lily's birthday. But I would say my biggest disappointment in you guys is that you're not billionaires. I really am envious of billionaire trust fund babies. I mean, what a life to be born into where you just get everything you want. You're rich as all heck. You can do whatever you want, you get the nicest of everything. I think that sounds amazing. And some of you may be like, no, that doesn't sound amazing. I want to pick myself up by my bootstraps. I don't. I want my grandfather to have picked himself up by his bootstraps and left me enough money to buy bootstraps that up themselves. That's what I want. Like, I love, like, if I'm scrolling just mindlessly, and someone wants to give me a tour of their yacht, I'll take a yacht tour. Let's see it. Let's go. A real estate agent wants to show me a $26 million penthouse in Manhattan, yeah, I'm in. Let's take a look at the fountain in the middle of the bathroom. I want to see it. I think that sounds like a really amazing life, and there'd be a lot of things that would be good about that to never have to worry about money one day in your life. But I tell you what I really want. If I were rich, I don't really care about having a yacht that seems wildly impractical and whatever. But I do think if I won the lottery, if I was just independently wealthy and I could buy whatever I wanted, you know what I'd do? This is true. Jen will tell you if I'm lying. Tomorrow morning, maybe even this afternoon, I would go to Leith Honda, and I would say, I want the nicest Odyssey you have. I want it to have everything. Everything. And I don't want there to be a single mile on it. I want someone to push it onto the truck from the factory, and I want you to back it into my driveway. That's more than anything. That would be sweet. That's what I wish. And so, thanks for nothing, Dale and Donna. Because I'm not rich. I'm not rich in that way. But I say all that to say this. I'm incredibly wealthy in another way. I'm not showing you how many Bibles I can purchase. These Bibles sit in my office. They sit in the corner, and I see them every day. And I see them, they're right next to the whiteboard that I write sermons on. This Bible is my papa's Bible, Don Green. This Bible is my dad's Bible that he was given for being some sort of star student or something like that at his high school. Nobody cares. But this is the Bible that he got for doing that. This is my dad's Bible. This is mine. Every time I look at these Bibles in the corner of my office, I'm reminded of the shoulders that I stand on. I'm reminded of my spiritual inheritance. And that's what I want us to focus on today. In some ways, nobody in here stands to inherit, I don't think, stands to inherit tens or hundreds of millions of dollars and be incredibly wealthy in our financial inheritances. If you are, good for you. But how often do we think about our spiritual health and our spiritual wealth and the kind of spiritual legacy that we've been left and the shoulders that we stand on and the shoes that we walk in? In some ways, I don't, in earthly standards, I'll probably get some sort of inheritance, but it's not going to be anything that's, I'm not buying a yacht with it. But in a much more important way, I am the recipient of a deep and rich spiritual inheritance. In a much more important way, I am the recipient of generational wealth. And it shows up for me in different times and in different places. One of the things that makes me think about it is I have a Tuesday morning men's group. And we'll have anywhere from 10 to sometimes 20 guys in there. And all we do is read through the Bible. We just pick a book of the Bible, we talk about it. It's a very simple format. And guys who are older than me will ask questions. What about this? What does this mean? What are we talking about here? And I learned the answer to those questions in first grade. That's my generational wealth. It's not their ignorance. It's their lack of exposure because maybe they didn't grow up with the generational spiritual wealth that I did. But each of us this morning has an opportunity to think about what we're going to pass on to the generations that follow. And it's a much more valuable inheritance than anything financial that you could leave them. In my son's room, we have this frame. My son is named John. He's named after Jen's dad, John Vinson. John Vinson got to celebrate with us the fact that we were pregnant and that it was a boy and that we were going to name it after him. But John has never met John. He passed before John was born. But I have absolute certainty that if we raise up John the way that we're supposed to, that one day he will come to know Jesus. And in doing so, he will have the opportunity to meet his namesake one day. They will meet. But we keep that in his room because of the name that he inherits. His middle name is Robert. That's my dad's middle name. John's name is John Robert Rector. To remind us and to remind him of the spiritual shoulders on which he sits. And Jen is the happy, grateful recipient of the legacy of John and Terry. Her parents grew up going to church. Terry grew up in Memphis going to church with an old Southern Baptist pastor, Adrian Rogers, who she still loves. John grew up with the son of Porter and Bernice. Porter fought in World War II. We've got his footlocker in my workbench in the garage. He loved Jesus. And he showed John what it was to be a godly man. And Bernice showed his sister Mary what it was to be a godly woman. And they passed that on to their children. And Jen grew up in a home, going to church every Sunday. Mom and dad serving in the church. Jesus spoken about in the home. Christianity prioritized. Quiet times happening. Being poured into. Her mom showing her how to be a godly woman. Her dad showing her what to expect from her husband. That guy is not as good when it comes to the spiritual wealth that we've inherited and some of you are too some of you are too some of you were blessed and grew up in homes that modeled faith to you some of you your dad or your mom is the most godly person you know. If not that, they at least, they prioritized church, they brought you to church, they were human and they made mistakes, but they made those right, and they always pointed you towards Christ. And in doing that, when you had kids, you knew, I always want to point them towards Christ. And you exist in this kind of, in this flow, as a general wealth cascades down through the generations, you just exist as a rung on the ladder, and that's great. And to those of you who are like us, Jen and I, who are spiritually wealthy because of the generational wealth that you've inherited, you have a deep and sacred responsibility to pass that on. To not squander it. To not mess it up. To pursue Jesus. To model to your children what it is to make him the center of your home. And to send them out into the world as better, more capable believers than you. Best case scenario, your kids know more scripture than you do. Best case scenario, they're better than you. Best case scenario, they're better dads and better moms and better spouses than you are. That's what we want for our children. So if you are the proud and grateful recipient of generational spiritual wealth, if you have Bibles you could stack together to remind you of the shoulders that you stand on, then you have a sacred responsibility to pass that on to your children and to their children and not squander it. Now some of you do not have spiritual wealth. Some of you were not born into a spiritually wealthy family. And you have an amazing opportunity. Some of you are what I consider spiritual orphans. You didn't have a mom or a dad teaching you about faith. You came to faith as a child, but there was no one there to help you, the church people, but no one that you lived with. Or you came to faith in adulthood. And now you're just trying to figure this thing out. You have a profound opportunity. If that's you, you have a profound opportunity. That opportunity is to draw a line in the sand and say, my family and my name has not built up any spiritual wealth. I did not have a spiritual inheritance, and my dad didn't, and his dad didn't, and his dad didn't. That's not a part of our family tree. I did not get to inherit that. I was born spiritually impoverished. Well, you have the opportunity to draw the line in the sand and say, but that will not be the case for my children. That will not be what they inherit. And you can change what it means to inherit your name. You can change what it means for your grandkid to be named after you. You can change what your name means. If you make the decision now to draw a line in the sand and not allow the generational trends that led to your poverty impoverish those who would come after you. And if you can tell I'm emotional about this, it's because that's what my parents did. My mom got bused to church when she was eight. It was the 60s and they did weird stuff like that. Some guy just showed up and said, hey little girl, you want to get on this bus? And she was like, yep, I do. And then she went. And she got saved. It was great. Best case scenario, you get on the bus with a stranger. You go to church and meet Jesus. She came to faith. She brought, she was what God used to bring her parents to faith. So this Pawpaw's Bible that I have, it wasn't him teaching her. It was her showing him. My dad? My dad basically grew up without a dad. His grandfather was the closest thing he had to a dad. He had a stepdad. He had a dad that ran away and he had a stepdad that didn't care about him. He found faith pretty much on his own. He was loved on by his grandfather, but that's distant. And so he made that decision. I did not, I was born spiritually impoverished, but my children will not be. And he drew that line in the sand, and mom drew that line in the sand. And in their faithfulness, changed what it means for me to be a rector. Changed what it is for Lily to be born into our family. If you are not generationally wealthy spiritually, you have a remarkable opportunity with your life to change what your name means. And I don't think there's anything that we could do that's more important than that. There is nothing that my parents can ever do for me that will make me more grateful for them than allowing me to be born into a family that was spiritually wealthy. Then impart their spiritual wealth on me. There's nothing they could ever give me that I'll be more grateful for than my spiritual inheritance from them. And we have the opportunity to us greatly the kind of legacy we leave behind. We should hope and pray, not to aggrandize it too much, but we should hope and pray that we live the kind of lives that one day my grandkid is going to sit in their office and my Bible is going to be somewhere in a stack of Bibles reminding them that I existed and I pointed them towards Christ. It should be important to us to want to leave that legacy. And so as I thought about this, and I thought about this comparison between a material inheritance and a spiritual inheritance, I thought about the material inheritance and what that currency is. We deal in material inheritance with dollars. That's the currency that we're trying to leave behind if that matters to us. And so I thought, what is the currency of a spiritual inheritance? What are we spending? What are we allocating? What are we saving up? What are we investing in our lives if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance? I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. If we want our kids to be spiritually wealthy, then we spend our love on them and our love on God and our love on one another and we invest that love into the things of God and into our children every chance we get. And to put a finer point on it, this love is often manifested through time and presence. If we say, how do I invest my love in my children? How do I invest my love in God in my children? How does that work? I think that love is most often manifested through time and presence. And I mean time and presence in three different ways. I mean time with God and in God's presence. I mean time doing God's work and in the presence of people doing God's work and being served by God's work. And I mean time and presence with our children. Time and presence in all three of those ways. I won't hit this hard this week because I just mentioned it last week. But if you want to leave your child a spiritual inheritance, if you want them to be spiritually wealthy with what they receive from you, if you want to change what it means to receive your name or simply honor the wonderful name that you've inherited, if you want to do that, very first step, be a person of devotion. Wake up every day, spend time in God's presence, spend time in prayer. Be a person who reads your Bible every day. And parents, I'm telling you, let your children see you do it. I've mentioned before, I can remember in middle school and high school coming down the stairs and walking past the chair where my mom would sit in the morning and her Bible would be out. And this was the 90s. So it was, I don't know if you guys remember, the Bibles were thicker and they had these cases that went around them, these knit cases for old ladies with handles and you could keep pens and stuff and reading glasses in there. And her case was open, and there's usually a cup of coffee with some lipstick on it. And so every day, mom got on, she put her face on, she got up, put on her face, and then she came downstairs and she spent time in God's word and time in prayer. That's how you build legacy. You become a person of devotion. You become a person that your people see spending time with, that your children see spending time with God. You make church a priority. You go every week. I saw a good friend back there, and he's got his grandson with him. Grandson was trying to decide, am I going to go to class or am I going to have to go suffer through Nate? I hope he made the right choice. But when you grow up with grandparents that take you to church every time you're at their house, that's a legacy. And this isn't just for parents with young kids. You folks with grandkids, you're still leaving a legacy to your children. You're still influencing them. I'm 43 years old. I lead a church. I don't need nothing from nobody. I need my mom and my dad. I still need my parents. And as long as your parents are around, you do too. I was on the phone with Mike Harris this morning. His mom passed away last night. And she was in her 90s. He's still crying. There's just something about a mama and a daddy. I don't care how old you are and how old your kids are. They need you. You can still continue to build that legacy by being a person who loves them. And we love through our time and through our presence first with God. Then we love through our time and presence in God's work and what the people around us see us do. Growing up, I can remember mom was the Awana mama. We had this program called Awanas and she was in charge of it. She ran it. Dad was on the deacon board. And what it taught me is church is important. What it taught me is this matters to us. We prioritize this. And so you mamas that do all the work and show up and do all the things and bring your kids to decorate for Summer Extreme, and they're all running around while you're putting up under the sea foam stuff and making my drum kit messy for nine months. When you're doing that, your kids see you doing it. They're going to remember that. They remember prioritizing church. They're going to see you volunteering places. They're going to know what's important to you with your time and with your checkbook. They're going to notice those things. So if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we love through our time and presence in doing God's work. They learn from that. And we're never done doing that work. And then we show them that love through time and presence with them. And this one, I'm really preaching to myself, too. Because it's so easy when they're young to turn on a screen, to tell them to go play, to pacify them. It's a bad habit at my house. Whenever John talks all the time, he's three and a half, he's talking always. And so eventually, I start tuning him out, and he'll say say something and I go, uh-huh. And he'll be like, yeah. Then the dragon threw the marshmallow at the bear and boy, the pig was upset. And I'll go, uh-huh. And then he'll get mad and he goes, dad, why do you say uh-huh? Shoot. Okay. I got to come up with another response that seems like I'm engaged. It's difficult, and I'm not the best at it. But we love our children through time and through presence. Showing up for them. Being there for them. Allowing the extended bedtime because this might be the time when they talk. Just simply being in the room with them, finding different activities that we can do together. And that doesn't change as we get older. As we get older and our kids morph and our relationships change with them and they move out and they do their own thing, they still need time and presence with their parents. It just looks different. Your grandchildren need time and presence from you. That's how we invest in them. And so I think if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we live a life of love with time and presence with God, with God's work, and with our people, with our children that we love. And those requirements never stop. And as I thought about this idea of leaving a spiritual inheritance for our children, it occurred to me that selfishness is the enemy of inheritance. Selfishness really is the enemy of inheritance. Let's say, if we think about it financially, what you have to do if you have a goal to leave an inheritance behind, and you may not, and that's okay, I'm not pressing that on you, although Proverbs does, so you should think about it. If that's your goal to leave a financial inheritance behind, then what you have to do is make decisions in your working years, in your 20s and your 30s and your 40s. I'm making this amount of money, but I'm going to take this part and I'm going to set it over here and I'm going to let it grow. And I'm not going to use that for me. I'm going to use that for them. That's not for me. That's for my children. That's not for me. That's for the things that that's for the people who come after me. So I'm not going to spend it all on myself every time I get a paycheck. We have to choose to be unselfish and set some of our resources aside. We have to allocate them for others. We can't spend it all on ourselves. Likewise, if we get older and we do receive an inheritance, we do have wealth. Our granddad did pick himself up by his bootstraps and he left something for us. And now we've got this. Selfishness is the enemy of that inheritance because you could choose at that season of your life to squander it. You could buy the yacht. You could get rid of all, you could drain it dry and leave nothing for your children because you acted completely selfishly. In the same way, selfishness is the enemy of a spiritual inheritance. The reason we're not people of devotion, like we know we should be sometimes, is because we're selfish. We want to sleep more. We want to linger longer on our phone. We want to get to work sooner. There's other things we prioritize over spending time in God's word, and so we're selfish and we don't do it. There's other things we prioritize. We're selfish with our time, just like we're given a limited amount of money in our paychecks every month, and we have to decide how we want to allocate those resources. We're given a limited amount of time each day, each week, each year. And we have to decide how we want to allocate that resource. And if we're selfish with our time, and we only do what we want to do or what we have to do, and we do not intentionally take that time and allocate it for others and for the things of God, then we are selfish with our resource and we don't leave behind an inheritance. Our selfishness is the enemy of our inheritance. And it reminds me of this principle that Jesus teaches in Matthew chapter 6. Where he says. If you're leaving a spiritual inheritance, if your children are spiritually wealthy, that's a treasure in heaven. And Moth and Rust did not destroy that. If we live our lives selfishly, if we decide, if we're the generation tasked with drawing a line in the sand and saying, it's going to mean something different to have my name. I'm changing that for the generations that come after. Let me tell you something. That's hard. That's challenging. It's discouraging. And you're going to want to quit. And you're going to want to bail. And you're going to want to say, I'll leave it up to them. I figured it out. They can figure it out. But ultimately, that's selfish. And that's building up for yourself treasures on earth. My ardent prayer for the families of grace is that your children would be spiritual billionaires. That your children would be spiritually wealthy. I genuinely don't care what you leave them financially. I am going to invest all the years God gives me at Grace into partnering with you, parents and grandparents, to make sure that the generations that come after you are spiritually wealthy, to make sure that your children get a name that they honor and are proud of. I want to do everything I can so that one day your kid names their child after you because they understand that the name that you've given them is the most valuable thing you could ever do for them. That's my prayer for you. So as I wrap up, we have this simple question. What kind of inheritance do you want to leave? What do you want to leave behind for your kids? With the years remaining and the time remaining with them, what kind of inheritance do you want them to receive? How spiritually wealthy can you make them? What kind of name can you hand to them? Every week of this series, every week of this series, we're going to finish the sermon with a prayer. We're going to finish the, not the sermon, but the service with a prayer. Last week, Mikey closed us out and read a prayer, a summary of the prayer of Colossians. This week, there is a prayer that we are going to pray over our families, but it's not, we're not going to speak it. Jordan and Aaron are going to come up and Jordan is going to sing this prayer over us. And when you think about what prayer should we pray for our families, you don't have to think very hard because there's a passage in Numbers that tells us exactly what we should pray. God tells Moses and Moses tells Aaron, the high priest, his brother, go and tell the families to pray this over there, over one another. This is the prayer that we should pray for our families. So Jordan and Aaron are going to come up as I read this verse. And I want you to think about what kind of legacy you want to leave. Here's the prayer that's going to be sung over us from Numbers chapter 6. The Lord said to Moses, tell Aaron and his sons this is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace. Jordan is going to sing that over us as a prayer. As you are prayed over, as you sit, rather than feeling an impetus to stand and sing along, what I would much rather you do is take a quiet minute here at the end of the service as you are prayed over and consider what kind of legacy you want to leave. Consider what kind of spiritual wealth you want to hand to your children. Consider what you want it to mean to inherit your name. And if you are someone who has to draw a line in the sand and change what your name means, pray so hard that you would do that. And if you trust me enough to tell me that, that that's what you're doing, I promise I will write you down and pray for you every day. Let's let them pray over us and let's pray while they're praying and then we'll go have a good week.

Well, good morning, everyone. It's good to see you. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks for making us a part of your Sunday. Thanks for braving the treacherous roads to be here. We hope that we will make it worth your while. Just a point of clarity, when Michelle said that Nate and Aaron are going to be sharing some stuff with the parents at the end of the month, that's Aaron Winston, our children's pastor, not Aaron Gibson, our worship leader. No one cares. So it's the Aaron with some heft. So like Michelle said, this is the second part of our series called Prayers for You. I keep calling it Prayers for Grace. It's called Prayers for You, where we're opening up the year with some prayers over different aspects of our life. Last week, we talked about just grace in general. We looked at a prayer in the book of Colossians, and I invited you to kind of make that your prayer over yourselves and your families for this year. We're making it the prayer of grace this year. And this week, we're going to, and so now for the next three weeks, we're going to look at different aspects of our life and see if we can find a prayer in scripture that we can pray this year over that area of our life. And so this week, I want us to look at a prayer for our families and in particular, a prayer for our children and for their children. And so just up front, as I say that, and I tell you what the topic is this morning, I understand that not everybody in the room has genetic children. I understand that. And I know that for some of you, it's because you don't want them. For some of you, it's because you haven't had the opportunity. You'd love to have the opportunity. You really want kids. And so this might be a painful topic to bring up. And for that, I'm sorry. But I hope that those of you who do not have genetic children have some people in your life somewhere that you can love on and pour into and think about what kind of legacy you can leave for them. But for a lot of us, we have kids or we have plans to have them and we have every reason to believe that we can and we will. So this sermon is for you guys. As I think about families, I wanted to start off by sharing with you probably the greatest way that my parents have disappointed me in my life. And full disclosure, I'm going to have to mention them a couple of times today because of the nature of the topic, but I scheduled this sermon on this week and then wrote this sermon not knowing that they were going to be here. They're right over there. There's like no one even next to them. They're just sitting there. It's like there's a spotlight on them. They're in town this week for my daughter Lily's birthday. But I would say my biggest disappointment in you guys is that you're not billionaires. I really am envious of billionaire trust fund babies. I mean, what a life to be born into where you just get everything you want. You're rich as all heck. You can do whatever you want, you get the nicest of everything. I think that sounds amazing. And some of you may be like, no, that doesn't sound amazing. I want to pick myself up by my bootstraps. I don't. I want my grandfather to have picked himself up by his bootstraps and left me enough money to buy bootstraps that up themselves. That's what I want. Like, I love, like, if I'm scrolling just mindlessly, and someone wants to give me a tour of their yacht, I'll take a yacht tour. Let's see it. Let's go. A real estate agent wants to show me a $26 million penthouse in Manhattan, yeah, I'm in. Let's take a look at the fountain in the middle of the bathroom. I want to see it. I think that sounds like a really amazing life, and there'd be a lot of things that would be good about that to never have to worry about money one day in your life. But I tell you what I really want. If I were rich, I don't really care about having a yacht that seems wildly impractical and whatever. But I do think if I won the lottery, if I was just independently wealthy and I could buy whatever I wanted, you know what I'd do? This is true. Jen will tell you if I'm lying. Tomorrow morning, maybe even this afternoon, I would go to Leith Honda, and I would say, I want the nicest Odyssey you have. I want it to have everything. Everything. And I don't want there to be a single mile on it. I want someone to push it onto the truck from the factory, and I want you to back it into my driveway. That's more than anything. That would be sweet. That's what I wish. And so, thanks for nothing, Dale and Donna. Because I'm not rich. I'm not rich in that way. But I say all that to say this. I'm incredibly wealthy in another way. I'm not showing you how many Bibles I can purchase. These Bibles sit in my office. They sit in the corner, and I see them every day. And I see them, they're right next to the whiteboard that I write sermons on. This Bible is my papa's Bible, Don Green. This Bible is my dad's Bible that he was given for being some sort of star student or something like that at his high school. Nobody cares. But this is the Bible that he got for doing that. This is my dad's Bible. This is mine. Every time I look at these Bibles in the corner of my office, I'm reminded of the shoulders that I stand on. I'm reminded of my spiritual inheritance. And that's what I want us to focus on today. In some ways, nobody in here stands to inherit, I don't think, stands to inherit tens or hundreds of millions of dollars and be incredibly wealthy in our financial inheritances. If you are, good for you. But how often do we think about our spiritual health and our spiritual wealth and the kind of spiritual legacy that we've been left and the shoulders that we stand on and the shoes that we walk in? In some ways, I don't, in earthly standards, I'll probably get some sort of inheritance, but it's not going to be anything that's, I'm not buying a yacht with it. But in a much more important way, I am the recipient of a deep and rich spiritual inheritance. In a much more important way, I am the recipient of generational wealth. And it shows up for me in different times and in different places. One of the things that makes me think about it is I have a Tuesday morning men's group. And we'll have anywhere from 10 to sometimes 20 guys in there. And all we do is read through the Bible. We just pick a book of the Bible, we talk about it. It's a very simple format. And guys who are older than me will ask questions. What about this? What does this mean? What are we talking about here? And I learned the answer to those questions in first grade. That's my generational wealth. It's not their ignorance. It's their lack of exposure because maybe they didn't grow up with the generational spiritual wealth that I did. But each of us this morning has an opportunity to think about what we're going to pass on to the generations that follow. And it's a much more valuable inheritance than anything financial that you could leave them. In my son's room, we have this frame. My son is named John. He's named after Jen's dad, John Vinson. John Vinson got to celebrate with us the fact that we were pregnant and that it was a boy and that we were going to name it after him. But John has never met John. He passed before John was born. But I have absolute certainty that if we raise up John the way that we're supposed to, that one day he will come to know Jesus. And in doing so, he will have the opportunity to meet his namesake one day. They will meet. But we keep that in his room because of the name that he inherits. His middle name is Robert. That's my dad's middle name. John's name is John Robert Rector. To remind us and to remind him of the spiritual shoulders on which he sits. And Jen is the happy, grateful recipient of the legacy of John and Terry. Her parents grew up going to church. Terry grew up in Memphis going to church with an old Southern Baptist pastor, Adrian Rogers, who she still loves. John grew up with the son of Porter and Bernice. Porter fought in World War II. We've got his footlocker in my workbench in the garage. He loved Jesus. And he showed John what it was to be a godly man. And Bernice showed his sister Mary what it was to be a godly woman. And they passed that on to their children. And Jen grew up in a home, going to church every Sunday. Mom and dad serving in the church. Jesus spoken about in the home. Christianity prioritized. Quiet times happening. Being poured into. Her mom showing her how to be a godly woman. Her dad showing her what to expect from her husband. That guy is not as good when it comes to the spiritual wealth that we've inherited and some of you are too some of you are too some of you were blessed and grew up in homes that modeled faith to you some of you your dad or your mom is the most godly person you know. If not that, they at least, they prioritized church, they brought you to church, they were human and they made mistakes, but they made those right, and they always pointed you towards Christ. And in doing that, when you had kids, you knew, I always want to point them towards Christ. And you exist in this kind of, in this flow, as a general wealth cascades down through the generations, you just exist as a rung on the ladder, and that's great. And to those of you who are like us, Jen and I, who are spiritually wealthy because of the generational wealth that you've inherited, you have a deep and sacred responsibility to pass that on. To not squander it. To not mess it up. To pursue Jesus. To model to your children what it is to make him the center of your home. And to send them out into the world as better, more capable believers than you. Best case scenario, your kids know more scripture than you do. Best case scenario, they're better than you. Best case scenario, they're better dads and better moms and better spouses than you are. That's what we want for our children. So if you are the proud and grateful recipient of generational spiritual wealth, if you have Bibles you could stack together to remind you of the shoulders that you stand on, then you have a sacred responsibility to pass that on to your children and to their children and not squander it. Now some of you do not have spiritual wealth. Some of you were not born into a spiritually wealthy family. And you have an amazing opportunity. Some of you are what I consider spiritual orphans. You didn't have a mom or a dad teaching you about faith. You came to faith as a child, but there was no one there to help you, the church people, but no one that you lived with. Or you came to faith in adulthood. And now you're just trying to figure this thing out. You have a profound opportunity. If that's you, you have a profound opportunity. That opportunity is to draw a line in the sand and say, my family and my name has not built up any spiritual wealth. I did not have a spiritual inheritance, and my dad didn't, and his dad didn't, and his dad didn't. That's not a part of our family tree. I did not get to inherit that. I was born spiritually impoverished. Well, you have the opportunity to draw the line in the sand and say, but that will not be the case for my children. That will not be what they inherit. And you can change what it means to inherit your name. You can change what it means for your grandkid to be named after you. You can change what your name means. If you make the decision now to draw a line in the sand and not allow the generational trends that led to your poverty impoverish those who would come after you. And if you can tell I'm emotional about this, it's because that's what my parents did. My mom got bused to church when she was eight. It was the 60s and they did weird stuff like that. Some guy just showed up and said, hey little girl, you want to get on this bus? And she was like, yep, I do. And then she went. And she got saved. It was great. Best case scenario, you get on the bus with a stranger. You go to church and meet Jesus. She came to faith. She brought, she was what God used to bring her parents to faith. So this Pawpaw's Bible that I have, it wasn't him teaching her. It was her showing him. My dad? My dad basically grew up without a dad. His grandfather was the closest thing he had to a dad. He had a stepdad. He had a dad that ran away and he had a stepdad that didn't care about him. He found faith pretty much on his own. He was loved on by his grandfather, but that's distant. And so he made that decision. I did not, I was born spiritually impoverished, but my children will not be. And he drew that line in the sand, and mom drew that line in the sand. And in their faithfulness, changed what it means for me to be a rector. Changed what it is for Lily to be born into our family. If you are not generationally wealthy spiritually, you have a remarkable opportunity with your life to change what your name means. And I don't think there's anything that we could do that's more important than that. There is nothing that my parents can ever do for me that will make me more grateful for them than allowing me to be born into a family that was spiritually wealthy. Then impart their spiritual wealth on me. There's nothing they could ever give me that I'll be more grateful for than my spiritual inheritance from them. And we have the opportunity to us greatly the kind of legacy we leave behind. We should hope and pray, not to aggrandize it too much, but we should hope and pray that we live the kind of lives that one day my grandkid is going to sit in their office and my Bible is going to be somewhere in a stack of Bibles reminding them that I existed and I pointed them towards Christ. It should be important to us to want to leave that legacy. And so as I thought about this, and I thought about this comparison between a material inheritance and a spiritual inheritance, I thought about the material inheritance and what that currency is. We deal in material inheritance with dollars. That's the currency that we're trying to leave behind if that matters to us. And so I thought, what is the currency of a spiritual inheritance? What are we spending? What are we allocating? What are we saving up? What are we investing in our lives if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance? I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. If we want our kids to be spiritually wealthy, then we spend our love on them and our love on God and our love on one another and we invest that love into the things of God and into our children every chance we get. And to put a finer point on it, this love is often manifested through time and presence. If we say, how do I invest my love in my children? How do I invest my love in God in my children? How does that work? I think that love is most often manifested through time and presence. And I mean time and presence in three different ways. I mean time with God and in God's presence. I mean time doing God's work and in the presence of people doing God's work and being served by God's work. And I mean time and presence with our children. Time and presence in all three of those ways. I won't hit this hard this week because I just mentioned it last week. But if you want to leave your child a spiritual inheritance, if you want them to be spiritually wealthy with what they receive from you, if you want to change what it means to receive your name or simply honor the wonderful name that you've inherited, if you want to do that, very first step, be a person of devotion. Wake up every day, spend time in God's presence, spend time in prayer. Be a person who reads your Bible every day. And parents, I'm telling you, let your children see you do it. I've mentioned before, I can remember in middle school and high school coming down the stairs and walking past the chair where my mom would sit in the morning and her Bible would be out. And this was the 90s. So it was, I don't know if you guys remember, the Bibles were thicker and they had these cases that went around them, these knit cases for old ladies with handles and you could keep pens and stuff and reading glasses in there. And her case was open, and there's usually a cup of coffee with some lipstick on it. And so every day, mom got on, she put her face on, she got up, put on her face, and then she came downstairs and she spent time in God's word and time in prayer. That's how you build legacy. You become a person of devotion. You become a person that your people see spending time with, that your children see spending time with God. You make church a priority. You go every week. I saw a good friend back there, and he's got his grandson with him. Grandson was trying to decide, am I going to go to class or am I going to have to go suffer through Nate? I hope he made the right choice. But when you grow up with grandparents that take you to church every time you're at their house, that's a legacy. And this isn't just for parents with young kids. You folks with grandkids, you're still leaving a legacy to your children. You're still influencing them. I'm 43 years old. I lead a church. I don't need nothing from nobody. I need my mom and my dad. I still need my parents. And as long as your parents are around, you do too. I was on the phone with Mike Harris this morning. His mom passed away last night. And she was in her 90s. He's still crying. There's just something about a mama and a daddy. I don't care how old you are and how old your kids are. They need you. You can still continue to build that legacy by being a person who loves them. And we love through our time and through our presence first with God. Then we love through our time and presence in God's work and what the people around us see us do. Growing up, I can remember mom was the Awana mama. We had this program called Awanas and she was in charge of it. She ran it. Dad was on the deacon board. And what it taught me is church is important. What it taught me is this matters to us. We prioritize this. And so you mamas that do all the work and show up and do all the things and bring your kids to decorate for Summer Extreme, and they're all running around while you're putting up under the sea foam stuff and making my drum kit messy for nine months. When you're doing that, your kids see you doing it. They're going to remember that. They remember prioritizing church. They're going to see you volunteering places. They're going to know what's important to you with your time and with your checkbook. They're going to notice those things. So if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we love through our time and presence in doing God's work. They learn from that. And we're never done doing that work. And then we show them that love through time and presence with them. And this one, I'm really preaching to myself, too. Because it's so easy when they're young to turn on a screen, to tell them to go play, to pacify them. It's a bad habit at my house. Whenever John talks all the time, he's three and a half, he's talking always. And so eventually, I start tuning him out, and he'll say say something and I go, uh-huh. And he'll be like, yeah. Then the dragon threw the marshmallow at the bear and boy, the pig was upset. And I'll go, uh-huh. And then he'll get mad and he goes, dad, why do you say uh-huh? Shoot. Okay. I got to come up with another response that seems like I'm engaged. It's difficult, and I'm not the best at it. But we love our children through time and through presence. Showing up for them. Being there for them. Allowing the extended bedtime because this might be the time when they talk. Just simply being in the room with them, finding different activities that we can do together. And that doesn't change as we get older. As we get older and our kids morph and our relationships change with them and they move out and they do their own thing, they still need time and presence with their parents. It just looks different. Your grandchildren need time and presence from you. That's how we invest in them. And so I think if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we live a life of love with time and presence with God, with God's work, and with our people, with our children that we love. And those requirements never stop. And as I thought about this idea of leaving a spiritual inheritance for our children, it occurred to me that selfishness is the enemy of inheritance. Selfishness really is the enemy of inheritance. Let's say, if we think about it financially, what you have to do if you have a goal to leave an inheritance behind, and you may not, and that's okay, I'm not pressing that on you, although Proverbs does, so you should think about it. If that's your goal to leave a financial inheritance behind, then what you have to do is make decisions in your working years, in your 20s and your 30s and your 40s. I'm making this amount of money, but I'm going to take this part and I'm going to set it over here and I'm going to let it grow. And I'm not going to use that for me. I'm going to use that for them. That's not for me. That's for my children. That's not for me. That's for the things that that's for the people who come after me. So I'm not going to spend it all on myself every time I get a paycheck. We have to choose to be unselfish and set some of our resources aside. We have to allocate them for others. We can't spend it all on ourselves. Likewise, if we get older and we do receive an inheritance, we do have wealth. Our granddad did pick himself up by his bootstraps and he left something for us. And now we've got this. Selfishness is the enemy of that inheritance because you could choose at that season of your life to squander it. You could buy the yacht. You could get rid of all, you could drain it dry and leave nothing for your children because you acted completely selfishly. In the same way, selfishness is the enemy of a spiritual inheritance. The reason we're not people of devotion, like we know we should be sometimes, is because we're selfish. We want to sleep more. We want to linger longer on our phone. We want to get to work sooner. There's other things we prioritize over spending time in God's word, and so we're selfish and we don't do it. There's other things we prioritize. We're selfish with our time, just like we're given a limited amount of money in our paychecks every month, and we have to decide how we want to allocate those resources. We're given a limited amount of time each day, each week, each year. And we have to decide how we want to allocate that resource. And if we're selfish with our time, and we only do what we want to do or what we have to do, and we do not intentionally take that time and allocate it for others and for the things of God, then we are selfish with our resource and we don't leave behind an inheritance. Our selfishness is the enemy of our inheritance. And it reminds me of this principle that Jesus teaches in Matthew chapter 6. Where he says. If you're leaving a spiritual inheritance, if your children are spiritually wealthy, that's a treasure in heaven. And Moth and Rust did not destroy that. If we live our lives selfishly, if we decide, if we're the generation tasked with drawing a line in the sand and saying, it's going to mean something different to have my name. I'm changing that for the generations that come after. Let me tell you something. That's hard. That's challenging. It's discouraging. And you're going to want to quit. And you're going to want to bail. And you're going to want to say, I'll leave it up to them. I figured it out. They can figure it out. But ultimately, that's selfish. And that's building up for yourself treasures on earth. My ardent prayer for the families of grace is that your children would be spiritual billionaires. That your children would be spiritually wealthy. I genuinely don't care what you leave them financially. I am going to invest all the years God gives me at Grace into partnering with you, parents and grandparents, to make sure that the generations that come after you are spiritually wealthy, to make sure that your children get a name that they honor and are proud of. I want to do everything I can so that one day your kid names their child after you because they understand that the name that you've given them is the most valuable thing you could ever do for them. That's my prayer for you. So as I wrap up, we have this simple question. What kind of inheritance do you want to leave? What do you want to leave behind for your kids? With the years remaining and the time remaining with them, what kind of inheritance do you want them to receive? How spiritually wealthy can you make them? What kind of name can you hand to them? Every week of this series, every week of this series, we're going to finish the sermon with a prayer. We're going to finish the, not the sermon, but the service with a prayer. Last week, Mikey closed us out and read a prayer, a summary of the prayer of Colossians. This week, there is a prayer that we are going to pray over our families, but it's not, we're not going to speak it. Jordan and Aaron are going to come up and Jordan is going to sing this prayer over us. And when you think about what prayer should we pray for our families, you don't have to think very hard because there's a passage in Numbers that tells us exactly what we should pray. God tells Moses and Moses tells Aaron, the high priest, his brother, go and tell the families to pray this over there, over one another. This is the prayer that we should pray for our families. So Jordan and Aaron are going to come up as I read this verse. And I want you to think about what kind of legacy you want to leave. Here's the prayer that's going to be sung over us from Numbers chapter 6. The Lord said to Moses, tell Aaron and his sons this is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace. Jordan is going to sing that over us as a prayer. As you are prayed over, as you sit, rather than feeling an impetus to stand and sing along, what I would much rather you do is take a quiet minute here at the end of the service as you are prayed over and consider what kind of legacy you want to leave. Consider what kind of spiritual wealth you want to hand to your children. Consider what you want it to mean to inherit your name. And if you are someone who has to draw a line in the sand and change what your name means, pray so hard that you would do that. And if you trust me enough to tell me that, that that's what you're doing, I promise I will write you down and pray for you every day. Let's let them pray over us and let's pray while they're praying and then we'll go have a good week.

Well, good morning, everyone. It's good to see you. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks for making us a part of your Sunday. Thanks for braving the treacherous roads to be here. We hope that we will make it worth your while. Just a point of clarity, when Michelle said that Nate and Aaron are going to be sharing some stuff with the parents at the end of the month, that's Aaron Winston, our children's pastor, not Aaron Gibson, our worship leader. No one cares. So it's the Aaron with some heft. So like Michelle said, this is the second part of our series called Prayers for You. I keep calling it Prayers for Grace. It's called Prayers for You, where we're opening up the year with some prayers over different aspects of our life. Last week, we talked about just grace in general. We looked at a prayer in the book of Colossians, and I invited you to kind of make that your prayer over yourselves and your families for this year. We're making it the prayer of grace this year. And this week, we're going to, and so now for the next three weeks, we're going to look at different aspects of our life and see if we can find a prayer in scripture that we can pray this year over that area of our life. And so this week, I want us to look at a prayer for our families and in particular, a prayer for our children and for their children. And so just up front, as I say that, and I tell you what the topic is this morning, I understand that not everybody in the room has genetic children. I understand that. And I know that for some of you, it's because you don't want them. For some of you, it's because you haven't had the opportunity. You'd love to have the opportunity. You really want kids. And so this might be a painful topic to bring up. And for that, I'm sorry. But I hope that those of you who do not have genetic children have some people in your life somewhere that you can love on and pour into and think about what kind of legacy you can leave for them. But for a lot of us, we have kids or we have plans to have them and we have every reason to believe that we can and we will. So this sermon is for you guys. As I think about families, I wanted to start off by sharing with you probably the greatest way that my parents have disappointed me in my life. And full disclosure, I'm going to have to mention them a couple of times today because of the nature of the topic, but I scheduled this sermon on this week and then wrote this sermon not knowing that they were going to be here. They're right over there. There's like no one even next to them. They're just sitting there. It's like there's a spotlight on them. They're in town this week for my daughter Lily's birthday. But I would say my biggest disappointment in you guys is that you're not billionaires. I really am envious of billionaire trust fund babies. I mean, what a life to be born into where you just get everything you want. You're rich as all heck. You can do whatever you want, you get the nicest of everything. I think that sounds amazing. And some of you may be like, no, that doesn't sound amazing. I want to pick myself up by my bootstraps. I don't. I want my grandfather to have picked himself up by his bootstraps and left me enough money to buy bootstraps that up themselves. That's what I want. Like, I love, like, if I'm scrolling just mindlessly, and someone wants to give me a tour of their yacht, I'll take a yacht tour. Let's see it. Let's go. A real estate agent wants to show me a $26 million penthouse in Manhattan, yeah, I'm in. Let's take a look at the fountain in the middle of the bathroom. I want to see it. I think that sounds like a really amazing life, and there'd be a lot of things that would be good about that to never have to worry about money one day in your life. But I tell you what I really want. If I were rich, I don't really care about having a yacht that seems wildly impractical and whatever. But I do think if I won the lottery, if I was just independently wealthy and I could buy whatever I wanted, you know what I'd do? This is true. Jen will tell you if I'm lying. Tomorrow morning, maybe even this afternoon, I would go to Leith Honda, and I would say, I want the nicest Odyssey you have. I want it to have everything. Everything. And I don't want there to be a single mile on it. I want someone to push it onto the truck from the factory, and I want you to back it into my driveway. That's more than anything. That would be sweet. That's what I wish. And so, thanks for nothing, Dale and Donna. Because I'm not rich. I'm not rich in that way. But I say all that to say this. I'm incredibly wealthy in another way. I'm not showing you how many Bibles I can purchase. These Bibles sit in my office. They sit in the corner, and I see them every day. And I see them, they're right next to the whiteboard that I write sermons on. This Bible is my papa's Bible, Don Green. This Bible is my dad's Bible that he was given for being some sort of star student or something like that at his high school. Nobody cares. But this is the Bible that he got for doing that. This is my dad's Bible. This is mine. Every time I look at these Bibles in the corner of my office, I'm reminded of the shoulders that I stand on. I'm reminded of my spiritual inheritance. And that's what I want us to focus on today. In some ways, nobody in here stands to inherit, I don't think, stands to inherit tens or hundreds of millions of dollars and be incredibly wealthy in our financial inheritances. If you are, good for you. But how often do we think about our spiritual health and our spiritual wealth and the kind of spiritual legacy that we've been left and the shoulders that we stand on and the shoes that we walk in? In some ways, I don't, in earthly standards, I'll probably get some sort of inheritance, but it's not going to be anything that's, I'm not buying a yacht with it. But in a much more important way, I am the recipient of a deep and rich spiritual inheritance. In a much more important way, I am the recipient of generational wealth. And it shows up for me in different times and in different places. One of the things that makes me think about it is I have a Tuesday morning men's group. And we'll have anywhere from 10 to sometimes 20 guys in there. And all we do is read through the Bible. We just pick a book of the Bible, we talk about it. It's a very simple format. And guys who are older than me will ask questions. What about this? What does this mean? What are we talking about here? And I learned the answer to those questions in first grade. That's my generational wealth. It's not their ignorance. It's their lack of exposure because maybe they didn't grow up with the generational spiritual wealth that I did. But each of us this morning has an opportunity to think about what we're going to pass on to the generations that follow. And it's a much more valuable inheritance than anything financial that you could leave them. In my son's room, we have this frame. My son is named John. He's named after Jen's dad, John Vinson. John Vinson got to celebrate with us the fact that we were pregnant and that it was a boy and that we were going to name it after him. But John has never met John. He passed before John was born. But I have absolute certainty that if we raise up John the way that we're supposed to, that one day he will come to know Jesus. And in doing so, he will have the opportunity to meet his namesake one day. They will meet. But we keep that in his room because of the name that he inherits. His middle name is Robert. That's my dad's middle name. John's name is John Robert Rector. To remind us and to remind him of the spiritual shoulders on which he sits. And Jen is the happy, grateful recipient of the legacy of John and Terry. Her parents grew up going to church. Terry grew up in Memphis going to church with an old Southern Baptist pastor, Adrian Rogers, who she still loves. John grew up with the son of Porter and Bernice. Porter fought in World War II. We've got his footlocker in my workbench in the garage. He loved Jesus. And he showed John what it was to be a godly man. And Bernice showed his sister Mary what it was to be a godly woman. And they passed that on to their children. And Jen grew up in a home, going to church every Sunday. Mom and dad serving in the church. Jesus spoken about in the home. Christianity prioritized. Quiet times happening. Being poured into. Her mom showing her how to be a godly woman. Her dad showing her what to expect from her husband. That guy is not as good when it comes to the spiritual wealth that we've inherited and some of you are too some of you are too some of you were blessed and grew up in homes that modeled faith to you some of you your dad or your mom is the most godly person you know. If not that, they at least, they prioritized church, they brought you to church, they were human and they made mistakes, but they made those right, and they always pointed you towards Christ. And in doing that, when you had kids, you knew, I always want to point them towards Christ. And you exist in this kind of, in this flow, as a general wealth cascades down through the generations, you just exist as a rung on the ladder, and that's great. And to those of you who are like us, Jen and I, who are spiritually wealthy because of the generational wealth that you've inherited, you have a deep and sacred responsibility to pass that on. To not squander it. To not mess it up. To pursue Jesus. To model to your children what it is to make him the center of your home. And to send them out into the world as better, more capable believers than you. Best case scenario, your kids know more scripture than you do. Best case scenario, they're better than you. Best case scenario, they're better dads and better moms and better spouses than you are. That's what we want for our children. So if you are the proud and grateful recipient of generational spiritual wealth, if you have Bibles you could stack together to remind you of the shoulders that you stand on, then you have a sacred responsibility to pass that on to your children and to their children and not squander it. Now some of you do not have spiritual wealth. Some of you were not born into a spiritually wealthy family. And you have an amazing opportunity. Some of you are what I consider spiritual orphans. You didn't have a mom or a dad teaching you about faith. You came to faith as a child, but there was no one there to help you, the church people, but no one that you lived with. Or you came to faith in adulthood. And now you're just trying to figure this thing out. You have a profound opportunity. If that's you, you have a profound opportunity. That opportunity is to draw a line in the sand and say, my family and my name has not built up any spiritual wealth. I did not have a spiritual inheritance, and my dad didn't, and his dad didn't, and his dad didn't. That's not a part of our family tree. I did not get to inherit that. I was born spiritually impoverished. Well, you have the opportunity to draw the line in the sand and say, but that will not be the case for my children. That will not be what they inherit. And you can change what it means to inherit your name. You can change what it means for your grandkid to be named after you. You can change what your name means. If you make the decision now to draw a line in the sand and not allow the generational trends that led to your poverty impoverish those who would come after you. And if you can tell I'm emotional about this, it's because that's what my parents did. My mom got bused to church when she was eight. It was the 60s and they did weird stuff like that. Some guy just showed up and said, hey little girl, you want to get on this bus? And she was like, yep, I do. And then she went. And she got saved. It was great. Best case scenario, you get on the bus with a stranger. You go to church and meet Jesus. She came to faith. She brought, she was what God used to bring her parents to faith. So this Pawpaw's Bible that I have, it wasn't him teaching her. It was her showing him. My dad? My dad basically grew up without a dad. His grandfather was the closest thing he had to a dad. He had a stepdad. He had a dad that ran away and he had a stepdad that didn't care about him. He found faith pretty much on his own. He was loved on by his grandfather, but that's distant. And so he made that decision. I did not, I was born spiritually impoverished, but my children will not be. And he drew that line in the sand, and mom drew that line in the sand. And in their faithfulness, changed what it means for me to be a rector. Changed what it is for Lily to be born into our family. If you are not generationally wealthy spiritually, you have a remarkable opportunity with your life to change what your name means. And I don't think there's anything that we could do that's more important than that. There is nothing that my parents can ever do for me that will make me more grateful for them than allowing me to be born into a family that was spiritually wealthy. Then impart their spiritual wealth on me. There's nothing they could ever give me that I'll be more grateful for than my spiritual inheritance from them. And we have the opportunity to us greatly the kind of legacy we leave behind. We should hope and pray, not to aggrandize it too much, but we should hope and pray that we live the kind of lives that one day my grandkid is going to sit in their office and my Bible is going to be somewhere in a stack of Bibles reminding them that I existed and I pointed them towards Christ. It should be important to us to want to leave that legacy. And so as I thought about this, and I thought about this comparison between a material inheritance and a spiritual inheritance, I thought about the material inheritance and what that currency is. We deal in material inheritance with dollars. That's the currency that we're trying to leave behind if that matters to us. And so I thought, what is the currency of a spiritual inheritance? What are we spending? What are we allocating? What are we saving up? What are we investing in our lives if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance? I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. I think the currency of a spiritual inheritance is love. If we want our kids to be spiritually wealthy, then we spend our love on them and our love on God and our love on one another and we invest that love into the things of God and into our children every chance we get. And to put a finer point on it, this love is often manifested through time and presence. If we say, how do I invest my love in my children? How do I invest my love in God in my children? How does that work? I think that love is most often manifested through time and presence. And I mean time and presence in three different ways. I mean time with God and in God's presence. I mean time doing God's work and in the presence of people doing God's work and being served by God's work. And I mean time and presence with our children. Time and presence in all three of those ways. I won't hit this hard this week because I just mentioned it last week. But if you want to leave your child a spiritual inheritance, if you want them to be spiritually wealthy with what they receive from you, if you want to change what it means to receive your name or simply honor the wonderful name that you've inherited, if you want to do that, very first step, be a person of devotion. Wake up every day, spend time in God's presence, spend time in prayer. Be a person who reads your Bible every day. And parents, I'm telling you, let your children see you do it. I've mentioned before, I can remember in middle school and high school coming down the stairs and walking past the chair where my mom would sit in the morning and her Bible would be out. And this was the 90s. So it was, I don't know if you guys remember, the Bibles were thicker and they had these cases that went around them, these knit cases for old ladies with handles and you could keep pens and stuff and reading glasses in there. And her case was open, and there's usually a cup of coffee with some lipstick on it. And so every day, mom got on, she put her face on, she got up, put on her face, and then she came downstairs and she spent time in God's word and time in prayer. That's how you build legacy. You become a person of devotion. You become a person that your people see spending time with, that your children see spending time with God. You make church a priority. You go every week. I saw a good friend back there, and he's got his grandson with him. Grandson was trying to decide, am I going to go to class or am I going to have to go suffer through Nate? I hope he made the right choice. But when you grow up with grandparents that take you to church every time you're at their house, that's a legacy. And this isn't just for parents with young kids. You folks with grandkids, you're still leaving a legacy to your children. You're still influencing them. I'm 43 years old. I lead a church. I don't need nothing from nobody. I need my mom and my dad. I still need my parents. And as long as your parents are around, you do too. I was on the phone with Mike Harris this morning. His mom passed away last night. And she was in her 90s. He's still crying. There's just something about a mama and a daddy. I don't care how old you are and how old your kids are. They need you. You can still continue to build that legacy by being a person who loves them. And we love through our time and through our presence first with God. Then we love through our time and presence in God's work and what the people around us see us do. Growing up, I can remember mom was the Awana mama. We had this program called Awanas and she was in charge of it. She ran it. Dad was on the deacon board. And what it taught me is church is important. What it taught me is this matters to us. We prioritize this. And so you mamas that do all the work and show up and do all the things and bring your kids to decorate for Summer Extreme, and they're all running around while you're putting up under the sea foam stuff and making my drum kit messy for nine months. When you're doing that, your kids see you doing it. They're going to remember that. They remember prioritizing church. They're going to see you volunteering places. They're going to know what's important to you with your time and with your checkbook. They're going to notice those things. So if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we love through our time and presence in doing God's work. They learn from that. And we're never done doing that work. And then we show them that love through time and presence with them. And this one, I'm really preaching to myself, too. Because it's so easy when they're young to turn on a screen, to tell them to go play, to pacify them. It's a bad habit at my house. Whenever John talks all the time, he's three and a half, he's talking always. And so eventually, I start tuning him out, and he'll say say something and I go, uh-huh. And he'll be like, yeah. Then the dragon threw the marshmallow at the bear and boy, the pig was upset. And I'll go, uh-huh. And then he'll get mad and he goes, dad, why do you say uh-huh? Shoot. Okay. I got to come up with another response that seems like I'm engaged. It's difficult, and I'm not the best at it. But we love our children through time and through presence. Showing up for them. Being there for them. Allowing the extended bedtime because this might be the time when they talk. Just simply being in the room with them, finding different activities that we can do together. And that doesn't change as we get older. As we get older and our kids morph and our relationships change with them and they move out and they do their own thing, they still need time and presence with their parents. It just looks different. Your grandchildren need time and presence from you. That's how we invest in them. And so I think if we want to leave a spiritual inheritance, we live a life of love with time and presence with God, with God's work, and with our people, with our children that we love. And those requirements never stop. And as I thought about this idea of leaving a spiritual inheritance for our children, it occurred to me that selfishness is the enemy of inheritance. Selfishness really is the enemy of inheritance. Let's say, if we think about it financially, what you have to do if you have a goal to leave an inheritance behind, and you may not, and that's okay, I'm not pressing that on you, although Proverbs does, so you should think about it. If that's your goal to leave a financial inheritance behind, then what you have to do is make decisions in your working years, in your 20s and your 30s and your 40s. I'm making this amount of money, but I'm going to take this part and I'm going to set it over here and I'm going to let it grow. And I'm not going to use that for me. I'm going to use that for them. That's not for me. That's for my children. That's not for me. That's for the things that that's for the people who come after me. So I'm not going to spend it all on myself every time I get a paycheck. We have to choose to be unselfish and set some of our resources aside. We have to allocate them for others. We can't spend it all on ourselves. Likewise, if we get older and we do receive an inheritance, we do have wealth. Our granddad did pick himself up by his bootstraps and he left something for us. And now we've got this. Selfishness is the enemy of that inheritance because you could choose at that season of your life to squander it. You could buy the yacht. You could get rid of all, you could drain it dry and leave nothing for your children because you acted completely selfishly. In the same way, selfishness is the enemy of a spiritual inheritance. The reason we're not people of devotion, like we know we should be sometimes, is because we're selfish. We want to sleep more. We want to linger longer on our phone. We want to get to work sooner. There's other things we prioritize over spending time in God's word, and so we're selfish and we don't do it. There's other things we prioritize. We're selfish with our time, just like we're given a limited amount of money in our paychecks every month, and we have to decide how we want to allocate those resources. We're given a limited amount of time each day, each week, each year. And we have to decide how we want to allocate that resource. And if we're selfish with our time, and we only do what we want to do or what we have to do, and we do not intentionally take that time and allocate it for others and for the things of God, then we are selfish with our resource and we don't leave behind an inheritance. Our selfishness is the enemy of our inheritance. And it reminds me of this principle that Jesus teaches in Matthew chapter 6. Where he says. If you're leaving a spiritual inheritance, if your children are spiritually wealthy, that's a treasure in heaven. And Moth and Rust did not destroy that. If we live our lives selfishly, if we decide, if we're the generation tasked with drawing a line in the sand and saying, it's going to mean something different to have my name. I'm changing that for the generations that come after. Let me tell you something. That's hard. That's challenging. It's discouraging. And you're going to want to quit. And you're going to want to bail. And you're going to want to say, I'll leave it up to them. I figured it out. They can figure it out. But ultimately, that's selfish. And that's building up for yourself treasures on earth. My ardent prayer for the families of grace is that your children would be spiritual billionaires. That your children would be spiritually wealthy. I genuinely don't care what you leave them financially. I am going to invest all the years God gives me at Grace into partnering with you, parents and grandparents, to make sure that the generations that come after you are spiritually wealthy, to make sure that your children get a name that they honor and are proud of. I want to do everything I can so that one day your kid names their child after you because they understand that the name that you've given them is the most valuable thing you could ever do for them. That's my prayer for you. So as I wrap up, we have this simple question. What kind of inheritance do you want to leave? What do you want to leave behind for your kids? With the years remaining and the time remaining with them, what kind of inheritance do you want them to receive? How spiritually wealthy can you make them? What kind of name can you hand to them? Every week of this series, every week of this series, we're going to finish the sermon with a prayer. We're going to finish the, not the sermon, but the service with a prayer. Last week, Mikey closed us out and read a prayer, a summary of the prayer of Colossians. This week, there is a prayer that we are going to pray over our families, but it's not, we're not going to speak it. Jordan and Aaron are going to come up and Jordan is going to sing this prayer over us. And when you think about what prayer should we pray for our families, you don't have to think very hard because there's a passage in Numbers that tells us exactly what we should pray. God tells Moses and Moses tells Aaron, the high priest, his brother, go and tell the families to pray this over there, over one another. This is the prayer that we should pray for our families. So Jordan and Aaron are going to come up as I read this verse. And I want you to think about what kind of legacy you want to leave. Here's the prayer that's going to be sung over us from Numbers chapter 6. The Lord said to Moses, tell Aaron and his sons this is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face towards you and give you peace. Jordan is going to sing that over us as a prayer. As you are prayed over, as you sit, rather than feeling an impetus to stand and sing along, what I would much rather you do is take a quiet minute here at the end of the service as you are prayed over and consider what kind of legacy you want to leave. Consider what kind of spiritual wealth you want to hand to your children. Consider what you want it to mean to inherit your name. And if you are someone who has to draw a line in the sand and change what your name means, pray so hard that you would do that. And if you trust me enough to tell me that, that that's what you're doing, I promise I will write you down and pray for you every day. Let's let them pray over us and let's pray while they're praying and then we'll go have a good week.