Sermons tagged with Comfort

Well, good morning. Thanks for being here. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. If I hadn't gotten to meet you yet, I would love to do that in the lobby after the service. This last week on Wednesday, it was Lily's spring break. Lily's my seven-year-old daughter. She's going to play prominently in the following story. It's her spring break, and so Jen said, can you take the day and come with us to the zoo? Which I have a love-hate relationship with the zoo. I love the fact that my kids get to see animals. John, my two-year-old son, he'll be two in a couple of weeks, he loves animals. He says all the animal names. He's probably in that room right there saying animal things right now. Like, he just loves animals. So for him to be able to see animals for the first time, super cool. So I love that part. What I don't love about the zoo is literally everything else about the zoo. It is a cacophony of annoyances, particularly for me. I'm a man that probably has a disproportionate amount of pet peeves. I'm not saying I have a right to them. I just have them. I don't really know what to do with them. The chief among those are people who are walking slowly, just anywhere, just slow walkers. What do you, like saunterers in general, what are you doing? And then like if you're injured or something, I get it, okay? I got patience for that. But if you're just slow, I don't, like, move it along. And then another, like, huge one for me is when somebody seems to have no awareness whatsoever that there's anybody else around them that might need to use the same space that they're using. You know, like the people who just walk around like this, and they'll just stop. Like, it's crowded, okay? It's a beautiful day. It's spring break. I've never seen this many people at the zoo. It's so crowded. We're shoulder to shoulder, and some people are just going, oh, I'm sorry. Like, what do you mean you're sorry? Like, there's every, everybody's walking. You didn't, you thought that you were the one who was just alone and there was no one behind you. So anyways, I was just kind of on edge all day, right? And you go, and then the other thing, just so I can get this off my chest, I've got, I've got my two-year-old son. We got to, first of all, he doesn't want to be in the stroller. So when you put him in the stroller, you better be moving, baby, because he's going to start wiggling out of that thing. And I'm not going to buckle and unbuckle him every time. I can't be opening and shutting all those buckles. So then we're going and we get to the thing and you got to pick him up. My back's been hurting me. If you go to the zoo, it's like an eight mile hike. It's forever. It's the world's biggest land zoo. Big deal. Put the animals closer to me so I don't have to walk so far. I don't care about their habitat. Make them depressed and lifeless. Just I want to see them. So I got to pick up John, and I'm walking over to the display to look. And the thing that galled me is there's adults there. They're grownups, okay? And they're the ones standing in the front looking at the animals. Like, buddy, you're 35. Like, you've been to a zoo before. Can you just move out of the way for the kids? Like, I have no problems with kids standing and gawking, but, I mean, grownups, like, let's go. You got like a 10-second window. There's the giraffe. All right, move on. So anyways, I'm just going through this whole day. We get to the middle, we get to the junction, it's time to eat. I don't have a lot to say about what was there, except the wait was extraordinary. And we got two cheeseburger meals and a kid's meal and two bottles of water, and we paid $57 for it. And it was, this is not an understatement, atrocious. It was terrible. It was frozen brick burger that some guy tossed on the flat iron thing until it was warm enough to put between buns. Cheese wasn't melted. I have never, I have never had a greater discrepancy between the amount of money I paid and the quality I received. Never in my whole life. That's lunch at the zoo that day. Then we still got North America to go. There's Africa. You walk through Africa. I'm just halfway through the day. And I'm trying to hold it together. Jen's like, you know, it's kind of obvious when you get a little bit frustrated. And I'm like, what did I do? I was trying to be nice. Like, cause I'm, I'm trying to not ruin family day, you know, cause I can get over the edge and now everyone's having a bad time. So I'm just trying to mind my P's and Q's and white knuckle it to happiness. And she's like, well, it's, I said, well, how can you tell that I'm frustrated? And she, and this is what she said. I thought it was hilarious. She goes, it's just the way you hold your mouth. What do you want me to do about that? I'll ask for pictures. I don't know. So we go through North America. We start to go through North America. And Lily's seven. We've been hiking for four days. So she starts to just start in with the seven-year-old whining, just normal whining stuff. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I need a snack. And in my head, I'm like, John's two. He's entitled to whining. I can't handle you whining too. So just suck it up, kid. Like, let's go. So that's starting to fray a little bit. And we get done. We're all exhausted. We get in the car. We go home. It's nice and peaceful and quiet. And you're resting because that's a whole thing. So everybody's exhausted. We get home. We rest for a little bit, eat a little bit of dinner. Lily's got soccer practice. So we go to soccer practice. She does great. We're walking back to the car, and we play at the Y. I don't know if you've been over to the Y off of Strickland. There's the lower fields that are a good half mile away from the car. The parking situation there is miserable. So you've got to walk up. I'm just a grumpy old man today. I don't know why I said today. You got to walk up to the car. It's a long walk to the car. So we're walking up to the car and Lily starts in with the whining again. My feet hurt. Daddy, can I have a shoulder ride? No, baby, you can't. Because earlier in the day, I gave John a shoulder ride. That's all she wanted all day is a shoulder ride. I'm like, you weigh 70 pounds and my back hurts. Like not today. I'm sorry. You should have had a younger dad. So I'm like, no, I can't do it. She keeps whining. My feet hurt. I'm like, well, there's nothing we can do about it. We got to get to the car. Daddy, I don't want to walk anymore. And finally I was like, sweetheart, you got to stop with the whining. I don't want to hear any more whining. Not another, not another word of whining, or I'm going to have to start taking away screen time tomorrow. Stop it. So then we're walking, and she's not saying a word of whining, but it's, I'm like, oh my gosh, I just want this day to end. She's exhausted. I'm exhausted. We get to the car, and she was supposed to make her water bottle before she left. Jen told her to do that. She forgot. I noticed that she forgot. I made her water bottle. I threw it in there. Then we get to the car, and she starts complaining that I didn't give her enough water. And I'm like, you wouldn't have any water if I didn't notice it and make you some. So literally any water that I gave you was enough water. And then we start this back and forth. She's tired. I know she's tired. She's fatigued from a very long day. I know she is. Her emotions are spilling out on me. I know they are. But eventually she said that one more thing before we pulled out of the parking lot. And I slammed my hand down on the center console. She immediately starts crying. And in my head, because I'm a jerk, I think, good. And I turned around. I turned around and I let her have it. You have been like this and this and this and this all day and I'm done with it. I'm done. Stop it. Do you hear me? And she looked at me and she started to say something back. I said, stop. She's crying. I drive home. It wasn't good. I'm telling you that story not because I'm proud of it. Far from it. I actually think that the rapidity with which I get annoyed is probably my least favorite thing about myself. I do wish I had a lot more patience. I do wish I didn't get annoyed at people just enjoying the zoo, but I do. And I do wish that I wouldn't blow up at my daughter because she doesn't deserve that. And I don't want her to grow up in a home where that's part of the climate and just a regular thing. So, you know, we went back and made that right. But I share that with you because I think that we've all had those moments. I think that we've all lashed out at people in ways that we regret. Most of us in this room are parents. I'm pretty sure that you all have your stories too. If you don't, please buy me lunch and tell me your secrets. Unless it's medication. I don't want to go that route. I think we all have those times when we get overwhelmed and we're feeling so many different emotions that we don't know what to do. And so we blow up or we have a blowout and we lash out and we slam our hand on the center console and we yell at a seven-year-old until they cry to make us feel better about the situation. I think if we're not parents and we haven't blown up in that way, we're all kids. We all have parents. Maybe we've blown up at them. Maybe we've lashed out at friends, co-workers, up the chain or down the chain. I think we all have those moments that we're not proud of when our emotions get too big and we act in ways that we wish we could change. And so that's what this series is about, big emotions. What do we do when we feel overwhelmed, when we are going to have a blow up or a blow out? And we'll talk about what does God want from us in these moments. We'll talk about what did we do to bring this on ourselves. We'll talk about how it affects other people. We'll talk about what do we do when somebody else lashes out and blows up on us. But because we all have those moments, we thought it would be worth it to take six or seven weeks here in the spring and just kind of ask the question, what are we supposed to do with big emotions and those moments that we feel overwhelmed or the people around us are acting out because they're overwhelmed? So I hope that that's helpful for you. And I will also confess the way that I write sermons is I kind of write half of it during the week. And then on Sunday morning, I come in really early and I make myself say it out loud in the hallway over there and kind of piece together really what I want it to be. And after I finished it this morning, I drove home and I said, man, my sermon has really convicted me and I feel terrible. And I'm really going to work on this. So if you guys don't like this, I do. This has been really helpful for me. But I hope that it's useful for you too. We're going to start the series by looking at the story of Peter cutting off the ear of a guard in the garden when Jesus was arrested. Because I think there's some foundational things in this story that are going to resound and help us for the rest of the series as we move through kind of this question of what do we do with big emotions. For those of you who are not familiar with the story, it's in all four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I think the most helpful detailed version is in John chapter 18. And so if you have a Bible, you can turn there. We're going to be in there a little bit looking at the story. But what's going on is Jesus has just gotten done praying in the garden of Gethsemane. It's after the last supper. Then he goes to the garden to pray. Then he gets the disciples. He says, all right, it's time to go. And they're walking back to the house where they were staying. And the guards from the high priest come to arrest Jesus. And in John's account, there's this amazing scene where I don't know how many guards there were. I've always assumed dozens, but I really don't know. They came to Jesus, and in other tellings of it, you see this is when Judas betrays him with a kiss. And then the guards say, are you Jesus? And he says, yes, I'm Jesus. Except he doesn't say, yes, I'm Jesus. They say, are you Jesus? And he says, I am he. And when he says that, this is amazing. When he says that, everybody who came to arrest him stepped back and fell down to the ground. Do you understand that? I don't know how that happened. I don't know if they were in like really tight formation and the first guy stepped back and it was some sort of domino situation where they just all fell, but I don't think so. I think when Jesus utters those words, I am, that they were an echo of Exodus 3 and 4, Moses at the burning bush, when he asked the burning bush, when he asked God, what's your name? And God says, you can't hold me to a name. I'm bigger than names. I'm not going to let you reduce me to that. I am. So God is the great I am. It's the great unutterable word. And Jesus says that, I am he. And they all step backwards and fall down to the ground. At which point, if I'm one of the people who's sent to arrest Jesus, I'm going to get up and dust myself off and say, there's been a misunderstanding. Mr. Jesus, very sorry about this. I'm going to go back to Caiaphas' house. But when that happens and they go to arrest him, this is what Peter does. Peter has a blowout. Peter lashes out. Peter really has had an emotional day. Peter really has had an emotional week. Five days before this happens, they're riding into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. And the disciples up to this point in Jesus's life still believe that Jesus came to establish a kingdom, but it's a physical earthly kingdom. Their brains, their minds can't wrap around what an eternal kingdom would be with a heavenly king. So they think it's going to be an earthly kingdom. And they really think that Jesus is going to go to Jerusalem, that he's going to overthrow King Herod, that he's going to overthrow Roman rule, that he's going to sit on the throne of David, rise Israel to national prominence, and that they're going to rule the world with him. That's what they think. And so when they're entering into Jerusalem, Peter and James and John are arguing who gets to be the secretary of defense and who gets to be the vice president and who has to be the secretary of the interior. Like that's what they're arguing about. They think they're going to be in these positions of political prominence, right hand to the king. And this whole week has started to move really fast. The whole week has been emotionally charged. The whole week has been expectant. And so then they get to Friday and they have the last supper. They celebrate Passover together. And Jesus says that Judas is going to betray him. And Judas leaves, which is weird. And all the disciples are trying to figure this out. And then he does this weird thing where he takes bread and he breaks it. And he says, this is my body that's broken for you. And they don't know what that means. And then he takes the wine and he pours it. And he says, this is the blood that spilled out for you. And they don't know what that means. Jesus has told them, I'm going to die. And on the third day, I'm going to raise again. And they're going, what does that mean? They have not figured it out yet. He's going to be the king. Then after this weird last supper where Jesus does the weird bread thing, he says, come and pray with me. They go to Gethsemane and they're praying. Jesus is praying. He's praying ardently. He's praying so ardently that sweat is kind of coming out of his pores. And we're going to talk about that in another one of the sermons in this series. And he's trying to get the disciples to stay awake, but it's late at night and they had wine with dinner, so they're sleepy. So they keep falling asleep, but Peter can tell something's up. And then Jesus gets them. They walk back to the house and on the way back to the house, here come the high priest guards to arrest his Jesus. And he freaks out. This is not, what's happening is not what's supposed to happen. This is not the way this is supposed to go. So what does he do? He lashes out, he grabs his sword, and he cuts off Malchus's ear. Now, here's what's important about that. Peter wasn't aiming for the ear. He's not like, I'm going to teach this dude a lesson. Clearly, he was going for the kill shot. Clearly, he was going for the head,chus moved or Peter was bad and it just got his ear. And in the other accounts, we see Jesus stoop down, pick up the ear, reattach it to the head and tell Peter to chill out. Peter lashed out. Peter slapped his hand on the center console and started yelling at people because he wanted to control things. And what I've always wondered about this story is that from when I was a real little kid and I encountered this story for the first time, I have always wondered this. How did Peter think his outburst was going to go? How did he think that was going to go down? What's your plan after that, Peter? Kill the first guy and then heroically sword fight your way out of danger with Jesus in tow? You and James and John, you're going to take down the whole guard of Caiaphas? Those guys are soldiers. They have armor. You're wearing a sheet and you have a sword on your hip and you're a fisherman. This is, what's the plan, buddy? Where do we go from here? It's honestly, and I'll meet him one day, and I don't think I'll apologize for this because I think he would agree. It was stupid. It's just dumb. What's your plan, buddy? And as I reflected on that more, what occurred to me is that in those moments when we feel overwhelmed and we lose our composure, we're admitting something. Losing your composure often admits your intimacy or your impotence. Losing your composure often admits our impotence. Not always. We're going to see an instance with Jesus losing his composure, and it certainly was not impotent. But most of the time in life, if you think about it, when you lose your composure, when you let it go, when you have a blowout or a blowup, really you're just confessing your own impotence and powerlessness to do anything that matters in the situation. What was Peter doing? Something impulsive. It was the only thing he could think of to do. It was completely useless, completely unhelpful, and he did it. And honestly, he made it worse. And Jesus had to cool things down. And when you think about when you blow out or blow up, when you yell at somebody, when you lash out, when you lash out at a colleague, or when you talk poorly behind someone's back, and you lash out at them unreasonably, or you lash out at your kids, or whatever it is, when you do that, when you blow up, when you lose your composure, aren't we often just confessing our impotence? Isn't that what I was doing in the car with Lily? What was going on in her is a combination of fatigue and being a seven-year-old and a heart that needs to develop gratitude and somebody that needs to understand, yeah, I made that water bottle for you so the correct attitude is to just be grateful for anything that's in there. But yelling at her until she cries is not going to teach her the heart lessons that she needs to learn to not do that again. It's completely impotent. It's helpless. It's frankly stupid and unuseful. And now in the same way that Jesus had to clean up Peter's mess by grabbing the ear and putting it back on Malchus's head, so does Jesus have to reach into the heart of my daughter and heal the wound that I put there because I lashed out in impotence. Our prayer as parents, I think, is that there's just not scar tissue because we ask Jesus to do that too many times. But as I think through the times in my life when I've lashed out, it tends to be because I just didn't know what else to do. And I felt things so much that they had to escape. Sometimes this lashing out and this impotence is more easily seen because sometimes it looks like tears. Sometimes we're overwhelmed and we retreat into the bathroom or we retreat to our room or we retreat to the house we retreat to the car, and then we just let it go. And isn't that, those tears, that sort of breaking down, isn't that an admission of our powerlessness as well? So in the story of the arrest in the garden, Peter gives us a great example of what not to do when we are overwhelmed. But it also begs the question, and this is really the guiding question for the series, what should we do when we feel overwhelmed? What's the right thing to do? How should Peter have handled that situation? How should I have handled my frustration on Wednesday? Well, if Peter, this is pretty simple stuff, if Peter is the bad example in the story, then Jesus must be the good example. So we look to Jesus, and we see how he handled the situation. A couple verses that throw, that shed some light on Jesus's handling of it. I'm going to look at verse 8 in chapter 18. Jesus answered very casually. I just love how matter-of-fact he is. I told you that I am he. I told you that I'm the guy that you want. So if you seek me, let these men go. Like, I'm the one you want. It's not them. I'll go with you. And then down in verse 11, just a reminder of what we read earlier, Jesus said to Peter, put your sword into its sheath. Shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me? And then we see, I think, an even more useful response in Matthew chapter 26. Then Jesus said to him, put your sword back into its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you think that I cannot appeal to my father and he will at once send more than 12 legions of angels? But how then should the scriptures be fulfilled that it must be so? So Jesus is calm, he is collected, he is wise, he is gracious, he is peaceful, he is patient. And I would point out, from a very human perspective, Jesus is dealing with all of Peter's emotions tenfold, probably a hundredfold. When they're going into Jerusalem and he's being welcomed as a conquering king and his disciples, those chuckleheads are behind him arguing about stuff that they don't know what it means. He's just walked through three years of ministry. He knows what's coming. He knows what's five days away. He knows where the nails are going to go. He knows where that crown of thorns is going to rest. He knows where the cross is going to hang. Jesus knows that. He knows the grave is waiting for him. He knows that the Romans have scientifically studied the most painful way to kill somebody and that that's going to happen to him. He knows what lays ahead, the cup that he has to drink. And we see his knowledge of that in his prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. He knows Judas is going to betray him. He knows the disciples do not understand. He's frustrated with the disciples because they can't stay awake. Can you imagine being Jesus? I need one thing from you. Can you please pray for me? After three years, I'm about to die for you and go to the grave for you, and you can't stay awake to pray for me? Can you imagine how frustrated he would be? And if anybody had the right to lash out at anyone for being ungrateful, it would be Jesus. And yet, when they came to arrest him, and when Peter does dumb stuff, he's quiet, and he's gracious, and he's peaceful, and he's kind. What Peter should have done in that situation, feeling overwhelmed, is look to the face of Jesus. If Jesus is peaceful, I can be peaceful. If Jesus isn't freaking out, I don't need to freak out. When we feel overwhelmed, we should look to Jesus. That's what I take away from this story. If Peter would have simply, as the guards approached, if he would have simply, like we sang earlier, turned his eyes to Jesus and looked at his face and see that he was nonplussed, that he was not worried, then he could have responded accordingly. But he didn't. He didn't look at Jesus. He looked at everything else and he acted impulsively and he lashed out. If he would have looked to Jesus, he could have responded well in the moment. If I, in my car, had had the wherewithal in my frustration to look to Jesus instead of at my daughter or at myself or inwardly at my own frustration and decided it's time to vent them. If I would have had the wherewithal to go to Jesus in prayer, I said, Jesus, I'm really frustrated. What should I do here? Please help me. Please show me what to do. Jesus, I'm frustrated. Please navigate my response for me. I'm fairly certain that if I had done that, that the nudge I would have felt from the Holy Spirit would not have been, you should really turn around and let her have it. She's got it coming. The nudge from Jesus would have been, calm down. She's wrong. She's also seven. You're an adult. Get her to bed. Talk to her tomorrow when you're both clear and you're not angry. That's what Jesus would have reminded me to do. But I didn't give him a chance. I just cut off that ear anyways. And then he had to clean up my mess. When we feel overwhelmed, overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with grief, overwhelmed with anger, overwhelmed with frustration, overwhelmed with whatever it is that's piling on us and it's just too much, before we blow out and before we blow up, if we can teach ourselves to simply turn our eyes to Jesus and look to him, then in those moments when we feel overwhelmed, we will handle them in ways that we do not regret later. We will cut off far less ears. Here's the other thing about Jesus' response in that moment. I think that the reason, the main reason that Jesus was so calm and placid in this moment is because he knew the plan. Look at his responses. What does he talk about? Peter, what are you trying to do? I have to do this. Stop it. I've got to go. This is part of the plan. Would you have me not obey my father? He says, do you not think I could do something different? Do you not think I could bring down 12 legions of angels right now and handle these guys? Like it wouldn't be a problem. I just knocked them down with my words, Peter. I'm not going anywhere I don't want to go. But Jesus knew there was a plan. He knew the prophecies. He knew that he needed to fulfill them. He's known this plan his whole life. And so he knew that even though everything around me seems chaotic, you guys are just actors. This is all part of the plan. I have to go. And it's what allows him, I think, to fulfill the prophecy that he was going to be like a sheep led to the slaughter. Peter should have looked at Jesus and trusted that even though he didn't know what was going on, seems like he's got a plan. Seems like he knows what's happening. And it seems like I should just trust that. So I would say that when we feel overwhelmed, we should know that Jesus has a plan. And even if I can't see the details of his plan, I can trust it because I can trust him. Jesus has a plan for my Lily. He sees the young woman that she's going to become one day. He's asked me to steward her into that. It's his plan, not my plan. And those of us who are parents would do well to remind ourselves that Jesus loves our children way more than we do, even though we can't really fathom that. And that he has a plan for them. And even when we can't see the details of the plan, we can trust the plan because we can trust him. So we turn our eyes to him and we place our faith in that. I actually love that there's a baby making noise right now. Because it's... I just met her this morning. I'm sorry. Everyone's going to look at you now. I'm very sorry. She's never going to come back. Shannon, I apologize. She's never going to bring any more friends. I get it. I know. I know. This is bad. You don't have a clue who that kid's going to be or where he's going to go. But Jesus sees that whole life. And we can take solace in that. We can take comfort in that. We can't see past our own noses. Jesus sees all of time. So when we feel overwhelmed and it feels like there's not a plan and we don't know what to do and we want to just blow up or we want to just give up or we want to just bow out, we look to Jesus. We trust him. We trust his plan. And we take faith in that. And if we'll do that, if we'll remember when we feel overwhelmed that we can look to Jesus because we can trust him, I think that we can be people that cut off a lot less ears. We can be people that require less healing for those around us. We can be people who are more like Jesus, who as we look to him, we are kind and we are gracious and we are patient and we are peaceful. And that's the kind of person I want to be. That's the kind of dad and husband and pastor and friend I want to be. And I have a feeling that that's the kind of person you want to be too. So let's pray that we would more habitually turn our eyes to Christ and be filled with his wisdom and grace and not give ourselves over to being overwhelmed. Let's pray. Father, we love you. We thank you for who you are. We thank you for sending your son. We thank you that your son died a death that he did not want to die so that we might be with you. Father, we confess we are impatient. We are at times ill-tempered. At times we cut off ears around us because we don't know what else to do. And Lord, we pray that you would bring healing when we lash out. And we pray that you would bring peace to our hearts when we feel like doing that. For my brothers and sisters who can be like me and at times just grow in frustration, would you remind us in those moments to turn to you? That we might be peaceful and that we might be reflections of your wisdom and grace and sovereignty. God, for my brothers and sisters who feel overwhelmed and who do blow up or blow out, but maybe it doesn't look like anger, maybe it looks like frustration, or maybe it looks like giving up, or maybe it looks like just being overwhelmed and sad and grieving. Would you be with them too and remind them to turn their eyes towards you? That they might be comforted. That even though they can't see the plan, they can see the author of it. And God, would you help us to be people of peace? For those of us that need it, would you just help us cut off a few fewer ears this week? In Jesus' name, amen.

Good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Good for you for being here today. It's Super Bowl Sunday. Do we have anybody here who particularly cares who wins, feels very stridently about the Eagles or the Chiefs? No one's willing to admit. Okay. All right. I saw one fist up indicating neither team, but go your team, Kay. I will be cheering for them tonight on your behalf. This is literally, in my opinion, the worst weather possible. It's almost freezing and it's raining, but it's not cold enough to actually have anything fun happen, so we just trudged through it together, and here you are. Thanks for being here. This morning, we are appropriately talking, based on the weather, appropriately talking about mourning and grief and sadness. As we go through our series, The Blessed Life, where we're looking at the Beatitudes that come at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus's first recorded public address. And he opens up that address, that sermon, with a list of nine blessings in the book of Matthew. You find them in chapter five, and then the following sermon in five, six, and seven. And when he opens up with these blessings, he's speaking exactly to where the Israeli people are at the time. And he says, if this is you, then you're blessed. And so last week we opened up the series and we talked about that word blessed. And it's important that we define that and understand what it means to be built, to be blessed by God. And what it means very simply is to be fully satisfied, is to have all that you need, to be lacking for nothing, which when you think about it is a pretty profound definition of blessing. Because we can be in all different stages and all different instances in life, in all different situations, we can have plenty, we can have a little, we can be hurting, we can be exuberant, and in that moment we have all that we need, God says we are blessed. So this morning we look at one of the blessings, and it's probably the blessing that I find to be the most counterintuitive. It's when Jesus says this in Matthew chapter 5 verse 4 very simply, blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. When this blessing is recounted in Luke, it says blessed are those who weep for they will laugh. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. And I don't know what you think of when you think of mourning, people who mourn. And maybe my perspective as a pastor is a little bit different than others. I don't know. I don't have another perspective. But there's things in life that we are sad about that cause us to grieve, right? The loss of a relationship when you're in middle school or high school. The person you like doesn't like you back. That's devastating. This causes us great mourning and teenage angst. We know about this. The loss of a job, the loss of an opportunity to get a promotion. Something bad happens to your kid and you mourn that. There's a little bit of sadness. There's different degrees of sadness and mourning. But what I think Jesus is talking about here, where my mind goes, what I think is implied in the Luke version of it, blessed are those who weep, what I think of is this deep, soul-aching sadness that there really are no words for. If you've lived life long enough, you have walked through a grief like that. Or you've walked with others or seen others as they walk through a grief so deep and so profound that words fail you. What do you say to parents whose eight-year-old had an adverse reaction to a prescription drug that they were given for a simple illness and it causes them to die and you have to do their funeral, what do you say to those parents? What do you say to people who are young who lose their parents way too early in a profoundly sad way. What do you say? What do you say to people who sit in the midst of the wreckage of their marriage? Sometimes because of decisions they did not make, and now they are grieving not just their marriage, but the future they had always envisioned for them and their kids. What do you say in the midst of that grief? What do you say to the wife with three kids under five who just lost her husband? What do you say when your friends have miscarried for the third time. When I think of mourning, grief, sadness, that's what I think of. Those times in life when the sadness is so profound, the ache is so present, that words fail you. And it would feel altogether stupid to hug them and say everything's going to be okay. Because it just doesn't seem sufficient. What do we say in those moments? Well, here's what Jesus said. That you're blessed if you're there. Because you will be comforted. Now, all those situations I just listed out for you are situations that I've been in. Situations I've seen. Situations I've walked with other people through. And it never occurred to me in those moments, nor will it occur to me in the future moments, to say to them, you know what, I know you're hurting right now, but you are blessed because God's coming for you. And yet, this is what Jesus says to a grief-stricken people, to dads who can't afford to feed their children, to a society in which the average age of death and infant mortality rate were respectively incredibly low and incredibly high. They knew pain and sorrow and grief. And Jesus says to them, you're blessed for you will be comforted. How is it that Jesus can say that to those people? How is it that Jesus can say that to us in the midst of our grief and our pain? And how is it that mourning can be a blessing? That in our mourning, we can see that we actually have all that we need. I think one thing that is helpful for me, it might not be helpful for everyone, but one thing that is helpful for me based on the Luke iteration of the Sermon on the Mount. In Luke's version of the Sermon on the Mount, there are blessings and then there are woes. There are woes to counterbalance those blessings. So when Luke records it, he remembers that Jesus says, blessed are those who weep, for they will laugh. And then later when he gets to the woes, he says, woe to those who laugh, for they shall weep and mourn. And so he introduces kind of this cyclical nature of life. There will be seasons of mourning and there will be seasons of laughter. There will be seasons of celebration. There will be seasons of sadness. And so what we see in life, what we see in Ecclesiastes, what we see in the biblical text over and over and over again, and what we know experientially is that morning is as natural as morning. Morning in life is as natural as morning in the day. What we know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that 18 hours from now, if Jesus doesn't come back and stop it, morning's coming, right? I don't know if I did the math right. I'm just throwing out 18 hours. You might disagree. I don't know when sun rises tomorrow, but technically speaking, if we don't have any more UFOs invading our country, Lord knows what's going on there. As long as Jesus doesn't come back, in 18 hours, it'll be morning. It's coming. There's nothing we can do about it. Whether we can see it or not, like today, whether we want it or not, unless Jesus stops time or returns and breaks the cycle, morning is coming. And in life, until Jesus returns, until he breaks in and breaks the cycle, mourning is coming. So when we mourn, when we hurt, when life is hard, we ought not be surprised by that. We ought to just think, it's my turn. This is inevitable. Everyone mourns. And I think it's really important to point this out. It's one of the large reasons. I had nine blessings to choose from. I chose this one, and it's one of the big reasons I chose to spend the morning highlighting mourning and the fact that it is cyclical and inevitable and will happen. Because as long as I am your pastor, I will do whatever I can from this small stage to beat back the idea that once we sign up for God's agenda, that he gives us a get out of grief free card. There is this pernicious idea in Christian history that when I begin to follow God, everything else is going to go okay for me. I'm going to close the sale and I'm going to avoid the big hurts and I'm going to avoid the big things and the raindrops of grief will miss my head and my family's heads. And yeah, sure, I mean, I'm going to have to go through some sadness at some times, but it's not going to be too bad. He'll never give me more than I can handle. The Bible has nothing to say about that. Nowhere does Scripture indicate that following God is a get-out-of-grief-free card for his children. And it's an incredibly damaging thing to teach otherwise. Because what happens is we find ourselves in the midst of mourning and we think, my God has betrayed me and let me down. Because he's allowing me to hurt this much. And what right and good theology says is, no, no, no. God never promised that those things wouldn't happen to you. But he does make a lot of promises to us in the midst of that morning. One of my favorite ones, it's one that I mention in funerals when I do them. It's one that buoys me that I am reminded of. There's a passage in Isaiah that says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. It's this idea that when we hurt the most, God is closest to us. When we are crushed in spirit, when we are weeping, when we are mourning, when it's that soul ache is when God himself sees us most and clings to us hardest. I can't ever hear that verse without thinking of the dynamic, and maybe it's because we're in the season where we have young kids. I can't ever hear that verse without thinking of the dynamic of how a young kid, when they hurt, runs to mama or runs to daddy, right? How the only thing they want in the world is the shelter of their parents. Jen was able this week to see this play out in real time. Lily was involved in a spelling bee, and it was an off-campus spelling bee. So Lily, or Jen had to take her to another school. Jen is my wife, by the way. Lily's my daughter. They're not just two random people I talk about. So Jen was taking Lily to the spelling bee, and they get there. And the way that this thing was set up is they gather all the kids together, and they take them into the classrooms, and the parents sit in the gym. And they just silently watch these double doors. And it's grades one through eight. And as it's your kid's turn, you don't know what's happening in the classroom. As it's your kid's turn, they spell and you know, they get it right and they stay in the classroom or they miss it and they have to do the walk of shame in front of all the parents. They come trickling through the double doors, dejected, and everyone knows you're not very smart. And then here they come. And so the parents are just sitting there staring at the doors. I'm, I'm at the house hanging out with John, who is my son. And, and just, I can't get enough. I'm just texting Jen nonstop. I'm on, I'm on the edge over here. I can't take it. What's going on? What's going on? Who's coming out? She's giving me live updates. Oh, but someone like someone's been defeated from our little school. Uh, the, the, this little boy, this little girl, they've come out. They said, Lily's hanging in there. It's round 15. She's fighting hard. I'm like, go, Lily, you know. But as these kids come out one by one, they come through the door. And what do they do? They're scanning the room for their parents. And they run to mama, and they hug mama. And the first kids who get out, they're fine, you know. They didn't have high expectations for the day. They're good. Let's hit the road, mom. Maybe there's a Shake Shack down here. But the kids who lasted longer, man, they were in it, right? It gets stressful in that room, first grade for two and a half hours spelling words. They start to hope. Lily wore her gold shoes that morning. She thought she was going to win. And so gradually they start to come out. When they hug mama, they're crying, they're hurting. They're releasing the stress of the day, the disappointment, maybe a little embarrassment. And the only one in the world who can comfort them is their parent, right? They're hurting. They're mourning. And sure enough, Lily comes out of there. She looks around for Jen, runs to her. They cry together. Lily cries because she's disappointed. Jen cries because she's a mom. And she sees that she has a different perspective on the pain than Lily does. She has a different perspective on the disappointment that Lily does. And she cries mostly because she just hurts for Lily. And after a minute or two, classmates start to gather around, and everyone gives their condolences, and then one little girl tells Lily very happily, they have cake pops here. And then suddenly, the spelling bee fades, and we're cake pops and grilled cheese at Zaxby's, and the world is right. But this is what we do when we hurt. We come through the gym doors and we scan the horizon for our Heavenly Father. We're drawn to Him. And He's drawn to us. And He sees us in those moments. And then, in those moments, when we need him, when we need his arms to wrap around us, when our soul aches, and we will never be too big, and we will never be too tough, and we will never be too manly, or whatever other stupid adjective we could put there to need our heavenly father to wrap his arms around us. We will never be beyond that. And when we hurt the most, He offers Himself the most. He comforts those who are crushed in spirit. He is close to the brokenhearted. And when He is close to us, do you know what He does? John 11, 35, He weeps with us. He holds us and he weeps too because his perspective on our pain is a little different. Because he knows that we don't really understand what it is we're walking through, but he sees it for what it is. And he holds us and he comforts us. This is what Jesus does in John 11, 35 that I mentioned. His best friend Mary has lost her brother Lazarus who's very close to him too. And she weeps to Jesus, why'd you let this happen? And he doesn't answer her, he just weeps with her. I will never get over the idea that there is an all-powerful, divine being who spoke the vast universe into existence, who knows who I am, and he knows the hairs on my head, and when I weep and when I hurt, he weeps with me. He is that intimately involved in our lives. Whether it's a small hurt or a big one. He's there. And what I find interesting about the way that God comforts us is that so often if you say, well, how does God wrap his arms around me? I think so often he does that through his other children, right? So often God comforts us by sending his children to be the ones who are the vehicles of that comfort, to wrap their arms around you, and maybe to say everything's going to be okay, and maybe just to say, I know it seems like everything isn't going to be okay, and I don't know what to tell you, but I'm here and I love you. And I'm pretty sure God loves you too. And let's just let that be enough right now. So often when we hurt and it says that God is close to the brokenhearted and he comforts those who are crushed in spirit. How does he do that? By sending his children, his hands and his feet into our lives to comfort us. And what's so amazing about this comfort when they offer it is that the best comfort, and you know it if you've been through it, the best comfort when our soul aches only comes from people who have walked that path too. Many of you know that part of our story is that in 2019, Jen's dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he fought that battle hard until the end of 2020. And it was in early December of 2020 that we were about to have a service and I got a call just before the service. Jen's uncle was down there with her dad in Athens and outside of Atlanta. And he called me and he said, hey, it's time. You need to get the family down here. And I said, okay. Did the service. Went home. Jen was packing up the kids, getting things ready. And in our scramble to get out of town, there was a knock on the front door. And it was her friend Lisa. She had heard that it was time to go. And she came over. And she knocked on the door and she hugged Jen. And I don't know exactly what she said, but it was not much. But she essentially just said, I'm so very sorry. And they hugged and they cried. And Lisa left and we went to Georgia. Now what makes that hug and those words so profound from Lisa is that she had just walked through that with her own mother. So when she looked Jen in the eye and she said, I am so very sorry. She knew exactly the path that Jen had walked for those previous two years. The ups and downs and the good phone calls and the bad phone calls and the hoping and the praying and the staying up at night. She knew all that. She knew how terrible that was. And she knew how terrible the next few weeks were going to be and what we were going to see and witness and walk through. She knew that. And all of that went into, I'm so very sorry. And those words brought Jen better comfort than the dozens, if not hundreds of people, including me, all along the process who had hugged her tearfully and said, I'm so very sorry. Because if you haven't walked that path, that's great. I'm glad that you're sorry. I know you are. I appreciate that. I received that. But you don't know. So when someone who has walked that path of grief, who's been through that divorce, who's been through that dejection or disappointment, who has experienced that loss, can look you in the eye and say, I'm so very sorry. It carries a different weight. And so it occurs to me that one of the things that makes us blessed when we mourn is because when we get to the other side of that mourning and we are comforted and we have all that we need and we move through it and our heart and our soul heal in whatever way they can, that we will also get to be the hands and feet of Jesus as God himself comforts his hurting children down the road. So you could almost say, blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted and comfort. That in the midst of your mourning, it is cold solace. But the reality is for the rest of your life, you will be able to offer empathy and tears that will mean more to people because of the path you've walked than any other empathy and tears they might get. The hardest thing I've ever walked through from a mourning perspective is our miscarriage. The first time we got pregnant, the time before Lily, we miscarried. And before that, as a pastor, and I'm also just ridiculously pragmatic and stupid sometimes, as a pastor, when I would hear that couples had miscarried, my honest, dumb thought was, oh, well, that's too bad. They'll have another one. Which is just mind-numbing, but I was also in my 20s. I just hadn't experienced enough life to know that that's not what a miscarriage means. It's the loss of a dream. It's the loss of hope fulfilled. It's incredibly devastating to walk through that. Particularly if you've tried really, really hard to get pregnant. Particularly if it's not your first one. And in some ways I'm glad that we have walked through that because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it has made me a better pastor for couples who are walking through that as well. And I would never again cheapen that grief by trying to move past it and look ahead. But I can hug them and look them in the eye and know their pain and say, I'm so sorry. And so in that small way, through our grief, God allows Jen and I to be blessings to others when the time comes. And so part of the blessing of mourning is knowing that in this cycle of weeping and laughing, when other people enter into a mourning phase, we can walk with them and be used by God to bring them comfort. And here's what's really interesting about the comfort that he brings us when we are hurting. When he brings a person along, when a song shows up in an unexpected place, when we are scrolling and we just happen to see something that touches us, whatever it might be, whatever that temporal comfort is that he gives us, that temporal comfort is intended to point us to our eternal comfort. This comfort that God offers us as we hurt is temporary. It's a salve. It's a balm. It's a band-aid. It helps our scarred souls, but it does not fully heal us. It is a temporal comfort intended to point us to and remind us of the eternal comfort that we cling to. As I was preparing this sermon, I sat down with Jen and I just said, listen, you've been through profound grief and I feel like I have not. What do I say? What do I talk about? I actually pitched a couple of ideas. I said, here's what I was thinking about saying. And she looked at me and she was like, those are not helpful to me. All right, cool. Well, then what should I say? And she shared this verse with me and told me that this is something that sustained her and continues to sustain her. And I think that there is tremendous power to this idea. And honestly, she said, it's that Hebrews verse that talks about hope being our anchor. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a good verse. Googling off to the side. Which verse is this? It's one that had not stuck out to me before, but it is now one that I will never forget. But it says this in Hebrews chapter 6 I want us to hold on to is this idea that this hope anchors us. It anchors us. And one of the things that she kind of pointed out to me is that that cycle of mourning, that cycle of weeping and laughing, of mourning and celebration, of times of plenty and times of little, That's inevitable. Those things are artificial. Life ebbs and flows around us. But the thing that keeps her anchored, that keeps her steady, that keeps her pointed at God is the hope that she clings to. Whether life would seek to buoy you in exuberance or drown you in sorrow. There is an anchor that holds us there in the middle, and that anchor is our hope in Jesus. That's what our hope is placed in. The anchor is the hope, and the hope is placed in Jesus. In Jesus doing what? In Jesus doing what he says he's going to do. I say all the time that to be a Christian means to believe that Jesus is who he says he is. He's the son of God. He did what he said he did. He died on the cross and he rose again on the third day. And that he's going to do what he says he's going to do. And the way that I always say it, and it's particularly applicable this morning, is that he's going to come back one day and he's going to make all the wrong things right and the sad things untrue. In the midst of our mourning, and for that matter, in the midst of our celebrations, the comfort that we have in each scenario reminds us of the eternal comfort that Jesus has promised us. That one day he's coming back. And one day he's going to break the cycle. There's not going to be any more weeping and laughing. There's only going to be laughing. What God's promise is and what our hope is, is that one morning there will be no more mourning. There will be a day that breaks at some point in the future. We don't know when and we don't know how long we have to wait, but there will be a day that breaks. And when that day breaks, the only mourning that's left is the next day. There will be no more mourning with the children of God. And one of the great solaces we have is that if our grief is related to loss, the loss of a loved one, if they know Jesus, they are experiencing that mourning already. And so in the midst of the ebbs and flows of life, when our soul aches, we can hold on to that anchor of hope that reminds us of who Jesus is and what he came to do. That reminds us that Jesus promises us in Revelation 19 that he's gonna come back and on his thigh is gonna be written righteous and true and he's gonna conquer death and sin once and for all and there will be no more mourning. Revelation 21, I love to remind you of it. There is coming a day where God will be with his people and his people will be with their God and there will be no more weeping and no more crying and no more pain anymore for the former things, the things that bring you grief, the things that scar your soul, the things that make your heart ache, that make you wonder if you can go another day. Those things will never happen again because they will have passed away. That is the promise of Jesus and that is the hope that anchors our souls as we go through the ebbs and flows of life. And as Christians, that is our greatest hope. That is our greatest encouragement. That is what we cling to. I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes that I share every Easter. I believe it's Pope John Paul II who says, we do not give way to despair for we are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. Because Jesus died and rose again on the third day and conquered sin and death and promises us a day, promises us a morning where there will be no more mourning, we believe that he will come again and do what he says he's going to do. And so what we can say for sure, when we find ourselves in the depths of despair, when we find our friends drowning in sorrow, is that we can whisper into their ear, hang on, cling to the hope that one day things like this will not happen anymore and that one day you will be healed and that one day, because of the hope that Jesus gives us, you will be reunited, you will be restored, you will be made right. So how is it that Jesus can say, blessed are those who mourn? Because he knew what he was going to do. And he knew that one day he would take away all of that mourning and make sure that for eternity we exist in joy and laughter. And so we cling to that hope in Christ. Let's pray. Father, I just pray for those right now who hurt. Those of us who are walking through a season of mourning and hurt and grief. I pray that they would feel your presence. That they would feel your love. That they would feel your comfort, that your church would serve them well. God, I pray for those who are in seasons of joy and celebration. Would we honor you well in those? Would we use those seasons to comfort others when we can? Thank you for the hope that you give us in Jesus. God, if there's anyone here today who doesn't know you, who hasn't yet professed a belief in your son, who hasn't yet claimed that future that you promised, I pray that they would. Even right now as we pray and sing and finish up, stir our souls and our hearts to you. Bring comfort to those who need it. Give the rest of us eyes to see that need. And give us the strength as we need it to cling to that anchor of hope. That one day you're going to come get us. And you're going to make all the wrong things right and the sad things untrue. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right, well, good morning there, holiday weekend crowd. Thanks for being here and making grace a part of your Sunday. It's good to see everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here, and we are launching the new year with this series called Known For, where we're thinking about our reputation and why it's important and why it's actually valuable to God what His children are known for. And so last week, we talked about you as an individual. What are you known for? More important than that, what do you want to be known for as we sit here at the top of a year? And it's the time of year where we should be thinking about those kinds of things. And then even more importantly than that, what does God want you to be known for? And we see that he actually cares very deeply about how his children are known. And so this week, we want to broaden the circle a little bit and ask, what is your family known for? What do you want your family to be known for? And this question means different things to us at different seasons in our life. For many of us, young families are kind of the fastest growing area of our church, and so we have a lot of folks here who are in the throes of it, like me and Jen. We've got a seven-year-old, and how old is John? 20 months? 21 months? It doesn't matter. He's like one and a half, all right? He's about to be two in April. And so we're in the middle of it, and I was actually talking with somebody earlier in the week, and we were talking about family, family legacy, family reputation. And he used this phrase that he uses with his kids sometimes and that we hear kind of thrown out there. Like, you need to understand that you're representing your family. You need to, what you do stands for your, you're like, you need to think about what your family name stands for. You need to do honor to this family. And I kind of laughed and I said, it's been a long time since I thought about like honoring someone's family name because our kids haven't yet reached the phase where they can bring disgrace on our name, right? She's seven. What's she going to do, you know, that's going to bring us shame. But I can see potential shame from here, you know, like it's coming when they get a little bit older and they can start making some really questionable choices. And so some of you are right in the thick of it, like Jen and I. You're at the beginning of kind of establishing your family. You're looking ahead to who you want your children to be, to what you want their reputation to be, to what your family plan is, to what your goals are. Right now, we kind of talk about in our house that when John and Lily are adults, when they're in their 20s, we'd like to release them into the wild with as few reasons to go into counseling as possible. Understanding that if you grow up in my home, that's tough. It's going to be a challenge. But really, our goal for them is we want them to love Jesus, to love us, and to be people that we respect. Now that may change over the course of time, but that's kind of what we're shooting for. But you have what you're shooting for, and you have how you define those things. And like I said, maybe you're in the middle of it. Maybe you've got young kids and you're kind of projecting forward. Maybe you're like a lot of folks in the church and you're a little bit younger. You just got married, you're not married yet, or you are very single. You are so single that you have not spoken to a member of the opposite sex in like months and months and months. You're very, very single. And so the idea of thinking about family is a little bit awkward for you, but hopefully this is something where we can kind of project forward and think about what kind of family we do want to have, what we want that family to be known for, and who we can look for to help us build that kind of family. Or maybe we're on the other end of it. You've got teenagers. You know, you're kind of in that thick of it. Your family reputation has begun to be established, or maybe you have grown kids. But if you have grown kids, then maybe one day they have families, and maybe you can use what we learned today to guide them as your role in their life shifts. But I think for all of us, that as we think about what are our families known for, there's input from Scripture that can help us think about that maybe in a more clear-headed and healthy way. And so as I thought about what we want in our families, I was reminded of a conversation that I had with a friend of mine who's a photographer. And in her role as a photographer, she gets to take a lot of like family portraits. Just the kind of portraits that typically the wives randomly decide it's high time that we dress in our nicest clothes, pretend to be happy, and take pictures for an hour, right? This is the thing that we're supposed to do. And one of the things that we got to talking about that I thought was interesting, because there's a trend in my segment of the population to take family photos that look very similar. And I won't get into that trend and what they are, but they look the same. And I was talking about this with her, and she said, you know, it's interesting that different ethnic groups all like to take slightly different family pictures, like to dress a little bit different, like to pose a little bit different. They like to posture themselves, put themselves in a little bit different environments. And she can kind of tell what kind of family it is and where they're from based on what kind of family portraits they want to take. And I thought, oh, well, that's really interesting. And she thought about it for a second and she goes, yeah, I really just think it's just the different ways that different cultures portray success. Because when you take family photos, that's what you want to portray, isn't it? We've got it together. Things are going all right for the Rectors. How else would I afford this fancy quarter zip, you know? Like you want, oh, that seems like a nice home. It's nice and bright and white and sunshine spills in everywhere. They must be doing okay, right? That's what we want with our Christmas card when we send that out. We choose one that kind of projects success, projects that we're doing okay. Even like the zany ones, right, where the little kid is crying and everyone's making a silly face and they're like, just real life over here. It's like bull crud. You're all wearing matching outfits. OK, give me real life on Saturday morning when you're all disheveled and the baby's been crying. That's the real life I want. But if you're wearing matching outfits and making silly faces, that's not like we're just being real. No, you're not. You're trying to be funny. And it's not that funny, just for the record. And through that conversation, it kind of helped me see when we think about families and our goals, we all want the same thing. It may look different, but we all want our families to be successful. That's what we want. We want our children to be successful. We want in our marriages to be successful. We want our grandchildren to be successful. We want to be known for being successful. Now listen, we can define that in different ways. There's myriad different ways to approach success. Like I said earlier, right now, Jen and I try to keep it pretty simple. We want our children to love us, to love Jesus, and we want to be able to respect them. And that may be a pretty high bar. I don't know, but that's kind of idealistically how we think about things right now. You may have a different definition of success. Some are good, some are not as good, but I'm not here to critique any of them. Maybe we want our children to climb the corporate ladder. Maybe we want them to marry someone who's really, really respectable. Maybe we want to be able to respect their kids. Maybe we want to see really good spiritual health developed in our children and to see them be spiritual leaders. Maybe we want monetary success for them. I don't know what we're trying to set up for our families or what we're trying to pursue, but I bet that when it gets to the end of it, that what we're really pursuing is success. And the root of this, this desire for success, we can just admit together, okay, we don't have to tell anybody outside of this room, at the root of that desire for success is pride. Just self-centeredness. It's just we want people to think we have our act together. We want people to think we're good parents. We want people to think we did well. We want people to think we're making wise choices. We want people to think our family looks good, that our marriage looks good, that our kids behave themselves, that they've grown up and become respectable adults and they're raising respectable children. I mean, one of the things when you have kids our age, one of the things that's almost unavoidable is trying not to parent for the moment and trying to parent for the person that they're going to become, right? We're not trying to raise well-behaved eight-year-olds. We want a good contributing to society 28-year-old. Those are two different ways to parent there. And so a lot of our desire for success and the way that we can kind of lead ourselves and lead our families is rooted in pride, which is why this next truth really bums us out sometimes. The problem with wanting our families to be successful, with wanting our families to be known for success, with wanting everyone to perceive our family like the Christmas card we send out, is that family is messy. Family's messy. There's no such thing as a perfect family. There's no such thing as the family that actually does have it all together. You think about that Christmas card and that perfect nuclear family, the husband and wife smiling, hugging each other. The children are smiling, happy to be there. The dog that's obedient, which is just a waste in a Christmas card. And they look good. They look like they have it together. Meanwhile, that marriage, that marriage is dead, man. Mom and dad haven't flirted with each other in years. They can't remember the last time they did married people things. He hasn't taken her on a date in a long time. They are two ships passing. But for that picture, they can smile. Those kids see it too. Or maybe one of the kids has developed a behavioral thing that the parents are trying to keep under wraps because they're embarrassed to mention it. Maybe mental health has slid into the picture and it's starting for the parents and for the family to kind of chip away at this image they want to portray. Maybe the husband's job or the wife's job is not going as well as they want it to go. The guy's like one of those guys that just wakes up every day and puts on his work clothes and leaves the house so that his wife doesn't know that he was fired months ago. Maybe there's an unhealthy relationship with alcohol or with pills. Maybe there's stuff going on in the shadows of those lives that we don't know about. Maybe one of those kids is going to grow up to be a royal disappointment. But here's what we know. Because we're all in families, they're messy. They're never what they seem on the Christmas card. And that really jacks with what we want to be perceived as. It really messes with our idea of perfect family that we all want to portray to everyone else. But you know what? That's okay. That's okay because Jesus' family was messy. I don't know if you've ever thought about this, but Jesus came from a really messed up family. In Matthew chapter 1, we can see his lineage all the way back to Abraham. So if you have a Bible, I would invite you to turn there. But Jesus did not come from a picture-perfect, cookie-cutter family. I'm just going to pick out one little snippet, verses 5 through 7, and you're going to read them with me. This is the genealogy of Jesus. Fourteen generations from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to Jesus. It's just a list of names, and it seems boring. This is one of those passages in your Bible reading plan that when you come up on Matthew chapter 1, you're like, God, I can skip this, right? Like, you don't really need me to read all these names. We'll still be good. I can still get my spiritual checkmark for the day. Because we don't often focus on this, but this passage has so much in it. So let's look at Matthew 1, 5 through 7. The author writes, was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, and Solomon the father of Rehoboam. And it goes on and on. There's generations before and generations after. But I want to take just this snapshot so that we can all see how imperfect our Savior's family was. The first name we mentioned is a guy named Salmon. He was married to Rahab, and they had a son named Boaz. Now Rahab, my Bible scholars know, lived in Jericho. Part of the deal with being a good Hebrew is that you trace your lineage all the way down to Abraham. You are purebred. Nothing but Hebrew blood runs in these veins, except if you're Jesus, there's this foreign woman from Jericho named Rahab that is now diluting the gene pool in your perfect little picture-perfect story. And Rahab, to boot, besides being foreign, was also a prostitute, which you wouldn't expect to find in the lineage of the Messiah, and yet there it sits. And they could have just said that Salmon begat Boaz, but they didn't. The author wanted us to know for all of history that Salmon married that prostitute that saved Joshua and Caleb when they were spying, and God honored Rahab. And he honored Rahab not just by saving her family, but by keeping her in Scripture for all of history so that we would know that her life is woven into the story of our Messiah and his imperfect family. And they had a son named Boaz. And Boaz eventually married another foreign lady named Ruth. It was a little bit, I don't know if I can say this in church, but the only way I'm going to find out is if I say it and then people get mad at me. So Boaz and Ruth had a little bit of a sugar daddy situation going on. He was older. She was younger. He was rich. She was not. He married her because she looked good. She married him because he was nice and had money. That's the situation. Now, I'm sure there's more to it than that. There's genuine affection. But when they showed up at the family reunion the next year, people were like, Boaz, dude, you sure about that? You could have just like, you know, left her at the house or something. It was an uncomfortable scenario. They had a son named Obed, who we assume was normal, but we only assume that because we don't have any details. I bet if we had some details on him, we'd find out some stuff about good old Obed. Obed had Jesse. Jesse had David. David is the second king of Israel. He was a man after God's own heart. He wrote most of the Psalms. He is a spiritual hero, but he had his son Solomon with a good friend's wife named Uriah. Again, they could have said by Bathsheba he had Solomon. They didn't. They said by Uriah's wife. They wanted you to know that David was a lying, thieving, adulterous murderer. He had the guy killed to cover up the fact that he impregnated a woman that was not his wife. That's messed up. You know. And then David was a terrible father. One of his sons accosted one of his daughters. Another one of his sons, Absalom, tried to overthrow him from the throne. Mounted up an army, kicked him out of Jerusalem, ended up dying in the battle, and David lost a son who was trying to lead a revolution against him. Then he handed off the kingdom to Solomon, who was very wise and yet also a really bad dad. And he left his kingdom to Rehoboam, the last person we mentioned in the passage, who was such a jerk and had such a bad relationship with his brother Jeroboam that there ended up causing a civil war out of the line of Solomon. And all of this is in the line of Jesus. And sure, I've picked out an easy portion to pick on, but I would tell you that it's only easy to pick on because that's who we know the most about. But there's more stuff there. Even Jesus' immediate family. At some point or another, we don't know why, the Bible doesn't offer us details, his dad disappeared from the picture. We presume it was death, but we're not sure. And so Jesus grew up in a single-parent home. And I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with a single-parent home, but what I would assert is that very few people decide to build a family without a spouse to build it with. That being a single parent, while perfectly fine, was probably not in anyone's design when they started their family. And yet that's the family in which Jesus grew up. And he had half-brothers and sisters. He had a different dad than him. And I don't know what kind of relationship he had with them when he was alive, but I do know that when Jesus was dying on the cross, that he looked at his disciple John and said, my mother is now in your care. Will you take care of her for me in my stead? He did not trust that to his brothers and sisters, and I don't know why. But Jesus' family was messy. And if Jesus' family was messy, what shot do you have, man? But that's okay. I heard someone else say this, and I thought it's such a good point. The family that Jesus came from indicates the families he came for. The mess that Jesus comes from tells us the mess that he came for to sit in the middle of. So we should be comforted by the mess in Jesus's family. Because in a way, it shows us that he's ready for our mess too. And can I just say this? I don't know what your family plan is. I don't know what you value in your family. I don't know what you hope for for your children. I don't know what you hope for for your children's children. I don't know what you project forward. But if your family plan doesn't make room for messiness, then you are just planning for disappointment and resentment. If the plan that you have for your children, if the plan that you have for your marriage and for your spouse, if the plan that you have for your grandchildren and for your legacy does not make room for messiness, then you are simply making a plan to be disappointed and then have other people resent you for that disappointment. You're like my old buddy John back at my old church in Atlanta. He reached out to me one day and he said, hey man, listen, I'm just having some anger issues. Can we sit down and talk about it? I'm just mad all the time. I'm mad at work. I'm bringing it home to my wife and my kid. I don't want to do that. That's not the guy I want to be. Can we meet? I need to talk to a pastor. Sure. I skipped counseling for ministry in college, but let's see what we can talk about. And so he comes in, and he's just telling me, he's like, man, I'm just so angry. day. I get so angry at work, and then I carry it home, and I'm tired of that. And he was a general contractor. And I said, okay, man, well, like, what is it at work that makes you angry? He's like, you know, like, you get in, you've got a plan for your day, you show up, you're ready to do the cabinets, but you can't do the cabinets until the plumber's done, and the plumber's not there yet, and so we're sitting around all day waiting for the plumber to show up, and I'm wasting my money on my hourly employees. We're sitting there twiddling our thumbs doing nothing, and I'm losing money on this project, and it's driving me insane. Or, you know, I'll show up, and one of my guys didn't show up to work, and so I've got to work overtime, and I miss my sons, whatever. Or I show up, and the work is shoddy. They did a bad job. We've got to take the cabinets down. We've got to redo it. We've got to do this. We've got to do that. Or, you know, we forgot a tool. We got to go to Home Depot. We don't have the right screws. We got to run to Ace. Whatever it is, there's always these things that show up in my day and they throw off my plan and it never goes how I want it to go. And it just makes me mad. And then I get so mad. I spend my whole day worked up that when I get home, I'm still that way and I don't want to do it and I don't know what to do. And I said, well, John, I said, I have a little bit of work, a little bit of experience in that field. For six months after we got married, I was a trim carpenter, believe it or not. I was not good at it. I just was one. And I'm frankly grateful to have all of my digits the way I was using a chop saw back then. And I said, I said, John, listen, our experiences aren't the same, but I only had that job for six months. But there wasn't a single day in those six months where I showed up and everything went according to plan. There wasn't a single day we didn't have to run to Home Depot for something where everybody showed up on time and worked hard and diligently. It wasn't a single project we did where we didn't have to redo something. We had to plan for it not to go according to plan. And if your happiness requires everything in your day to go exactly as you need it to go so it can be the smoothest day possible. The only thing you're planning for is anger. So keep that as your standard if you want, but you're just going to exist angrily with maybe one day a week where that doesn't happen. And he's nodded his head. He was like, you're right. And I was like, good. I've solved that problem. You'll never struggle with anger again. Let's move on. When our family plan doesn't make space for our spouse to grow and change and become a different person in their 50s than they were in their 30s, then we're only planning for disappointment and resentment. If our family plan doesn't make space, isn't generous enough to expand and adapt the way we think about faith, church involvement, spirituality, then we're just making a restrictive plan that will lead to resentment. If our family plan doesn't make space for our children to struggle, for someone to get sick, for someone to be hurt, for our children to choose hobbies and interests that don't align with ours, if our family plan doesn't include space for our children to become a different kind of adult than we would have chosen for them, if it doesn't make space for our children to go through struggles that we wouldn't pick for them, then all we're doing is planning for disappointment and resentment. And in some of that mess, listen, in some of that mess, not all of it, but in some of it, don't you know that God is working? In some of that mess, in some of that pain, in some of that hurt, in some of that illness, in some of those struggles, in some of those choices that you can't understand, in some of that growth, and in some of that that change don't you know that God is working in the midst of that I went through things when I was a kid that my parents would have wished away if they could if they could have prayed it away they would have said don't let Nathan deal with this anymore they would have prayed it absolutely out of my life but yet as an adult in my role I know that God was working in those things to fashion me into who he wanted me to be, to use me how he wanted to use me, and it would have been to my detriment to pray those things away. We sat here and we sang loudly, I see the evidence of your goodness all over my life. We declared loudly that there's nothing better than God. No, there's nothing better than you. I heard you sing it. You're trapped. I've got you now. If you meant it, that means you believe it for your families too. That means you believe it for your marriages too. That means you believe it for your children too. And that even though at different times in our life those elements of our families are walking paths that we might not have chosen for them, we trust that God is in the midst of them, working in what we feel like is a mess, working in the situations that we just casually leave out of the yearly update letter that we don't portray in our Christmas card. And it's not that we shouldn't pursue success. But I was having a conversation with somebody this week, Chris Sasser. A lot of y'all know him. He used to be a pastor at Grace. Now he's moved on to a church that's not quite as good. And he's the family pastor. No, it's a really wonderful church. He does a great job. He's a family pastor at a large church out in Wilmington. And when I was preparing for the sermon this week, I called him just to get his input on family reputation. And actually, Sass is going to be here at the end of the month for a special parent meeting, a special parent seminar that Erin, our great children's pastor, is setting up. The last one she did was before COVID, and I was just telling her the other day, there's things that she taught me that night that still run through my mind as I parent Lily. So if you're a parent, this is absolutely worth attending. If you haven't heard about it yet, just contact Erin, and she'll give you the information. But at the end of the month, SAS is going to come meet with us and kind of teach us how to be better parents, at least in part. And so I called him, told him what I was preaching about, what I was talking about, and asked him for his thoughts. Then he suggested this, and I loved it. He said, maybe we need to reshape the way we think about success. The messiness in families forces us to kind of redesign what success is. And he said, my suggestion to families is that they make health successful. So what I would propose to you is that healthy families are successful families. Healthy families are successful families. And it's important as I say this that we understand that the true definition of health is inviting Jesus into every aspect of our lives. The true definition of physical health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health is inviting Jesus into every aspect of those things. And I love that word health because I had been talking with Aaron about this idea. Aaron, our children's pastor, not our worship pastor. I don't talk with him about anything. He's not very interesting. But Aaron, our children's pastor, and we kind of said that successful families are gracious families. We kind of honed in on this word grace because she made the great point that the family, the family dynamic is really, according to God's design, is really the first place where children encounter true grace. And if a child grows up in a home where they don't experience grace, how can they be expected to show grace to others? Or, sometimes more damagingly, how can they ever learn to show grace to themselves if no one else shows them grace? And so we were talking about that. The problem with grace is just saying that we want to be gracious families, is that there comes this tipping point where grace becomes enablement. And we don't want to do that. Because there's definitely scenarios and messiness in which the very last thing that husband needs is more grace. What he needs is a swift kick in the pants and some truth. And to look himself in the mirror and to change things. What he needs is a wife that's going to stand up to him and say, no, no, no, that's not what we do here. Sometimes what children need is the exact opposite of more grace. I've met 20-year-olds who had way too much grace growing up. I don't want to be friends with them. So we want to be gracious families. And I would even say we want to err on grace. If we're going to make a mistake, let's make a mistake towards being too gracious, but we can all agree that there comes a point at which grace is the last thing people need. What they need is some truth. What they need is some tough love. So that's why I think this word health is so much better. Because if we understand healthy to be inviting Jesus into every aspect of our life, then what a healthy family does is when the mess is made, they go, Jesus, how would you have us clean this up? Jesus, how are you using this in our marriage and in the life of our children to bring your glory? Jesus, how could this be shaping them that I'm not aware of? Jesus, should I be careful to pray this away because of what you're using this for? Health looks like when we admit that our marriage is broken and that we've become kind of co-CEOs of this family entity. Sitting down and actually praying with your spouse and saying, Jesus, we're broken. Will you show us how to fix this so that this is a marriage that reflects your love to the people around us? Health says, Jesus, my children are not doing what I think I raised them to do. Can you soften their hearts towards you and can you help me see them through your eyes? Health says, Jesus, I am sitting in the middle of a disappointment here. I am sitting in the middle of a mess, and I need you. Will you show me as a father? Will you show me as a mother? Will you show me as the child of an aging parent how to portray you in this situation? Healthy families don't run scared and hiding from messes because they know they're going to happen and we have the grace and patience for those. But in the midst of the mess, we say, Jesus, will you please come down here and help us? Will you please be here? Will you give me your spirit so that I will know the words to say and the prayers to pray and the things to do so that we can be a healthy family here? I think we need to do away with this ideal picture perfect family. Because we know enough of life to know that that family doesn't exist. So let's be the messy family. That isn't ashamed of it. That accepts it. That knows if we've got three kids, one of them is probably going to be a screw up. And let's live and love and invite Jesus into that. And it just makes me wonder, what if your family was known for being healthy? What if in your neighborhood, the other kids that run around, the other families interact with, the folks that you'd invite over for a barbecue, what if you weren't known for being perfect? What if you didn't try so hard to seem like you had your act together all the time? And what if you just let it be enough to be known for being healthy? What if we were known for handling our kids with grace? What if the neighborhood kids knew that because of the way you talk to your kids, they can trust you with hard things too? What if the other couples on your ball teams and in your workplace and in your neighborhoods saw your marriage and said, you know what, they're not perfect, but it does seem like they love each other. And were willing to come to you when theirs was struggling. See, here's what I think about healthy families. Last week, we said that God cares a lot about your reputation because there's nothing more convincing than a name. There's nothing more convincing. You take someone who's not a believer, they don't have a faith, and what we said last week is they probably got a reason. And if we just sit down and try to talk them out of it, that's largely a waste of time. The better thing to do is to love them like Jesus would over time. What's more convincing towards the faith than someone who claims to love Jesus and then actually loves them like they do? Similarly, what's more convincing towards the faith than a family who claims to love Jesus and yet in the midst of the messiness honors Jesus through it all, invites Jesus into it, portrays grace to the members in the family, doesn't try to project this false narrative about who they are outside of the family, and loves other families in the midst of their mess as well. What could be more convincing than that? At Grace, we get a lot of new families coming in. And I don't know what's going on in all the dynamics in all of those families. But if there are people who have been estranged from church for a long time and they come in and what we try to project as a good godly family is this picture perfect cookie cutter family that's so far from what they are and from what their experience is that it actually discourages them to see what a successful family looks like in this church. What if instead we had healthy families? They said, yeah, come on, get in our small group. We're a hot mess too. Just come on, we'll talk about it. Yeah, we also, we hate our children four days a week. It's just how it goes. Just come on in, We'll talk about this. We'll figure out how to pursue Jesus together through this. Isn't that so much more inviting? Isn't that so much more welcoming? Isn't that so much more convincing and approachable than trying to be picture perfect? So at Grace, let's be healthy. And when I say healthy, what I mean is, let's not pretend that we're not all messes. Let's just invite Jesus into that mess. Let's say, Jesus, how would you use this? How might you have us act in this? How might we clean this up? How might we portray you through this? And let's together, as a church family and as individual families, pursue health. A health that invites Jesus into every aspect of who we are and what we do. And offers the same grace to one another that he offers to us. Let's pray. Father, we do love you. And we do believe that there's nothing better than you. We do believe there's nothing better than what you offer us. God, I believe that many of us in this room have everything that we need for happiness and joy. We have everything that we need for a rich, full, rewarding life. Give us eyes to see those things that we might praise you, that we might worship you, that our hearts might be turned towards you so that we would invite you in more and more. Give us eyes to see your blessing. Help us to turn our eyes to you in the midst of messiness, in the midst of unexpected things, in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of hard marriages, or difficult children, or difficult family dynamics. Would we turn to you and invite you in and ask what you would have us do there? God, I pray that at grace you would raise up healthy families. For the mamas and daddies in the midst of it, God, give us a heart for that. For your son and for inviting him in. God, for the grandmas and granddads in the room who have now shifted to guiding their adult children. Would you give them the words and the wisdom to point them in this direction of help? To a place where we simply invite Jesus into everything that we're doing. And God, with the families that are hurting, that are sitting in the midst of a big mess, would you please just comfort them? Would you let them know somehow, some way, that they're not alone, that they don't have to be? Would you heal what hurts? For the parents that need it, would you give them a vision to see that you might be using this in ways that they can't understand, but they can trust you because you love their children more than they do? For those of us that might sit in the midst of disappointment or pain, I pray that you would be close to us. I pray that we would remember that you are the God that makes streams in the desert and paths in the wilderness and that you do new things. Would we trust those to you as well? We ask all these things in your son's name. Amen.

Well, good morning, everybody. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here, and it's good to see you. Thank you for coming on a holiday weekend. I always like to tell the folks that come on a holiday weekend that God does love you more than the people at the beach right now. You've made the wise choice, and God will not forget this. Before I just dive into the sermon, obviously it's been a very heavy week. We found out in the ways that we find out on your phone or on your TV or from a text or whatever that there was another school shooting, that the uniquely American problem happened again. And I can't speak for you and the emotions that you went through. I could guess at some of them. But I went awful quick to anger this time. And I think one of the things that angers me the most is the hopelessness that you feel for anything to actually change, for us as a country to actually do anything that matters in any way, that can give parents who send kids to school or people who go to grocery stores or people who go to church. Our strategy now as a country is simply to hope it's not us. That's our whole plan. And that's enraging. And one of the things that angers me most is the way the church seems to respond to this when it happens. And I have a lot of thoughts about what church should do, what the body of Christ should do in the wake of these tragedies. And I almost scrapped a sermon this week to share those thoughts. But I feel so strongly about them that I do not trust myself to stay in my lane and address it. I don't trust myself to get up here and not tell you what I really think. So I don't think it would be wise for me to do that. If you would like to get a beer, I'll tell you everything, I think. And I'll buy. But one thing that I do know, one response that the church should have is to be the light that beats back the darkness. Because this is a week, to me, the word that I kept feeling was despair. What can we do? What's going to change? What do we expect ourselves to do as a country when this happens again? Because it will. And you just feel this sense of despair sink in when you realize the answer is nothing. But that's not the whole answer. I was reminded this week of a quote that I share every Easter. It's one of my favorite quotes. It's from Pope John Paul II who said, for we do not give way to despair, for we are the Easter people, and hallelujah is our song. And so what the church does in moments like these is we cling to hope. We cling to the hope that Jesus will keep his promises, that he will return one day and he will make the wrong things right and the sad things untrue, that he will rectify things like this, and that there is coming a day when we will no longer get news like this. When tragedies that happen like this that cause the national conscience to weep, there's coming a day when this won't happen anymore. And that's the day that Jesus keeps his promises. So as Christians, we do this. We gather and we sing praises and we honor our Jesus and we declare him in the public square and we agree with the world that this place is broken but that we have a savior who will fix it. And so we are the light and the darkness. We are the army that beats back despair. So let's pray. Let's pray for our country. Let's pray for the families in Uvalde. And let's pray that maybe we won't have to wait for the return of Jesus for something to be different about these instances and their occurrences in the future. Let's pray. Lord, we know that you are brokenhearted this week too. We know that we are brokenhearted about this tragedy because it has been shoved in our faces, but God, I cannot imagine the tragedies you see meted out across the world on a weekly basis that must be so heavy on your heart. So God, we just first pray that Jesus would come. We cry out with the martyrs in Revelation 6 and say, how much longer, God? But until that day comes, God, give us strength to cling to you. Make us your lights in dark places. Make us your army that beats back despair. Help us to love. Help us to help others mourn. Help us be voices of reason in our different circles of influence that ultimately point people back to you. And God, we just lift up these families in Uvalde. The mamas and daddies with empty beds and bedrooms. God, the police officers that know now that they made some great mistakes that they have to live with. God, I just pray that you would pick them up too. Lord, we don't know what to pray. Everything we say feels inadequate. But we ask that you would be there, that your children would be seen, and that your light would be noticed. Your word says that you are close to the brokenhearted and that you comfort those who are crushed in spirit. So would your spirit act in Uvalde to surround those people? And God, would your spirit act in the leadership of our country to do what we need to do to protect our children in the future? Move and stir, God, in ways that only you can so that we don't have to live in fear of things like this. It's in your son's name we pray. Amen. Admittedly, transitioning to a sermon after that feels a little silly, but we're going to do it together, and in like two minutes you won't even notice, okay? So, Peter. We're in the book of Peter, and this week, we're looking at 1 Peter 5, verses 1 through 11, and I'm just going to work through that text. This is going to be a good old-fashioned sermon. We're just going to read a part of the Bible, and we're going to go, what's that say? And then we're going to talk about it a little bit. So, you have a Bible in the seat back in front of you. I would highly encourage you to pull that out if you did not bring one with you. If you're looking at your phone, I will assume that it is the Bible app and not somebody you were texting. But we're going to look at 1 Peter chapter 5 verses 1 through 11. And as is my habit, I open up the passage or the topic that I'm going to be addressing that week, typically on a Monday, and kind of look at it and begin to pray through, okay, God, what do you have for us in this passage? What do you want grace to know from here? And as I read the passage this week, I thought it was incredibly appropriate because the passage on the whole is addressed to the elders of the church. Now there is one sentence in there about how young people are supposed to act, and we'll talk about that sentence. But on the whole, this passage is Peter closes up this letter. This is the very end of 1 Peter. So it's the very end of his letter. So he closes it up with some summary advice. And most of this advice is directed towards the elders of the church. And when you see the word elders of the church in the New Testament, that means the leaders of the church, both in official office and de facto leaders of the church. And I thought, well, this is perfect timing to take a passage that addresses the leaders of the church, not necessarily the older people in the church, but those who are older and more mature in their faith in the church. It's interesting to me that this passage came up on a holiday weekend, and we even kind of put out on social media that if you're the kind of person who comes to church on a holiday weekend, then this is the kind of sermon for you. Because in this passage, we are addressing the elders of the church, the leaders of the church, and many of you are leaders within grace. And I don't get the opportunity to do this very often, to kind of say, hey, grace, those of you who lead, those of you who are on committees, those of you who are elders, those of you who serve in children, those of you who lead in any capacity, when we lead at grace, here's what's expected of us. Here is the kind of leaders that God wants to install into his church. So we're going to take a morning and address those of us who are leaders within grace. A couple things about that. There's some of you who are sitting there thinking, well, great, I'm not a leader here. I'm not a leader anywhere. This does not pertain to me. And you may be right. You may not be a leader. You may not lead here yet. You may not feel like you have influence outside of here. But some of you, some of you are wrong about that. Some of you are right. And if you're right about it and you're not leading yet, I would just say, keep being the kind of person who comes to church on holiday weekends and pretty soon you're going to be leading in the church. So pay attention because the goal, one of the things that we're supposed to do as we grow in our faith is lead the church in certain ways. Now, I don't mean positions and roles of leadership, but I do mean that we become people who have influence, whose example other people look at. And so if we go through our entire Christian life and we go to the same church for 25 years and we're never at any point looked to as a leader for anything, no one ever follows our example for anything ever, then we're probably not growing and living out our faith the way that we need to. So even if you don't feel like you're there yet, if you stay consistent and faithful, God gives us opportunities. And so I think this can be helpful to tuck away and say, when I have an opportunity to lead, this is what I want to lead like. Now, some of you who think that you're not leaders in the church, you're simply wrong because you are. Because I would actually define and frame up leadership in this way. If people are paying attention to your example, then you're a leader. If people pay attention to your example, if there's someone who looks at you and because of the way you act, they think that's the way that I ought to act as well, then you're leading in the church whether you like it or not. My sweet wife right here would never, ever, ever call herself a leader. She doesn't like the idea. She doesn't want to be in positions of leadership. She hates it. I'm talking about her right now. I'm going to hear about this later. But she teaches the fourth and fifth grade kids. And if you've been in the fourth and fifth grade for the past three or four years, then you've watched Miss Jen, and you've watched how she's interacted with your parents and other people's parents and other people in the church, and they've looked to her to learn, in part, how they ought to behave and carry themselves in the public square. If you serve in kids ministry, you're leading in the church, whether you like it or not. If you're on a committee, you're leading, whether you like it or not. If you're somebody in small group who speaks up often, if you can be counted on to give your input every week, you're leading, whether you like it or not. So many, many, many of you are leaders within grace without holding official office. And some of you are leaders within grace and you do have that office. You're on staff. You're an elder. You serve on a committee or you chair a committee or you help with volunteer efforts or whatever. So many of us in this room are currently leading and setting an example and exerting influence over the church. And if you're not doing it yet, you will. So as we accept that, what does God want from us as leaders? How does Peter tell us to lead? Before I answer that question, I do want to honor the text. There is one sentence about how young people are supposed to behave in the church, and it's in verse 5, and it says this, likewise, you who are younger be subject to the elders. And then it goes on, and we'll read that verse, the rest of the verse in a minute. But I take that to mean you who are younger in your faith, heed the advice and the wisdom of the people in the church who are older in their faith than you. Listen to them. Learn from them. Ask them questions. Don't think that you have it all figured out. Don't immediately dismiss them as old and antiquated and you have the right way to do all the things. Because the church gets better when we respect our elders. I'm talking specifically to the people who are younger than me. The church gets better, I'm just messing around, when we respect our elders. When we actually listen to the generations that came before us. And I know that's true, and I've experienced it being true recently, because of the way that the cross behind me ended up getting up on this stage. Back in the fall, months ago, the fall in autumn, not the fall of man in Genesis, but back several months ago in autumn, I got an email from an older lady in the church. And she's part of a small group that's populated with some of our older folks. It's like Chris and Karen's age. I'm just messing around, sorry. You know, Lucy Goosey on Memorial Day. Really and truly some of our older people in the church, they're in a small group. It's a great small group. They've been meeting for a long time. And most of them, I think maybe all, none of them come, but they all watch online every week. They're still just being very cautious and I don't blame them. Well, one of them emailed me and she said very sweetly that she really thought it would be great if there could be a cross on the stage and laid out all the reasons why she thought it would be great if there was a cross on the stage. And I responded to her and I said, you know, I agree with you. I looked at some ways to do it. Didn't really have a great way to get it done. So I just didn't do it. Now, you know, we're going to be getting a new space, so what's the hassle? Why bother with it? And I just kind of sloughed it off, right? Like, I understand we're pro-cross here, but we've got a lot, we've got cross in our logo and everything, so let's just relax about the cross, which seems like a really wonderful pastor response. And I mean, I said it nicer and more eloquently than that in big and long email and whatever, and I sent it off to her, and I didn't hear back. And then in February, to open our series in Lent, I preached a sermon, and in the sermon, one of the things I said was that we were acknowledging that we're standing on shoulders of the generations that came before us, and that this church wants to be a church that listens to all the voices in the church, that God forbid there be a generation of people who feel like they have aged out of relevance and that we no longer listen to them anymore. I would hate for Grace to be that place. So then I get another email. Hey, you remember what you preached? And I'm like, man, she's at it again. And she said the whole small group agrees with her. Now listen, call me a pessimist. I've been told plenty of times. Oh yeah, yeah, I think this and a bunch of other people do too. Oh yeah, who are the bunch? Well, my wife. Anybody else? But I'm sure they would agree if I talked to them. Yeah, okay, so let's chill out with whole small group language, right? And I was kind of skeptical. But I could tell it was really important to her, so I called the small group leader, an old elder of ours, who I have a good relationship with, and I said, hey man, what's the deal here? What do you think I should do? And his wife took the phone from him. And she said, you need to listen to us. Now they said it in a much nicer way than this, because these are two of the kindest people that I know. But they essentially said, you just shut up and do it, all right? Like you said you wanted to listen to the older generation. Here's your chance, big dog, do it. And I'm like, yeah, it cost me very little to do this. We need to do it. So I reached out to Greg Taylor, one of our great partners, and I said, let's inlay a cross in there, and we did. And honestly, it looks great. It was funny. We debuted it on Easter, and people were coming up to me, and they're like, hey, can we please keep the cross up there? Is that just for Easter? I'm like, yeah, no, Greg worked on it for like 20 hours, so it's going to stay up there. And in the weeks subsequent to that, Jen and I are standing over here worshiping, and she leans over to me, and she goes, it looks so good. It makes this room so much better. And it does. And I emailed the whole small group, and I said, guys, I am so sorry for being obstinate and stubborn and not listening to you. You made the church better. Thank you for your grace and putting up with me. And they were very kind and they are very gracious to me. But the church gets better when we listen to the voices that came before us. We should not slough them off. We should not dismiss them as antiquated, as not understanding, as not really getting it. We should hear some value in their years and in their experience and apply it to our lives. Our marriages would get better. Our small groups will get better. Our children will get better. Our relationships and our families will get better when we listen to the voices that came before us. Now, most of the passage, as I said, is addressed to the elders in the church, to the leaders in the church, to those who exert influence in the church. And I think I laid out the case that that's going to be most of you. So what does God expect from his leaders? And as we think about leadership at Grace, what do we expect from our leaders? So what does God ask of his leaders? The first thing that he asks is that we lead for the sake of others, not ourselves. Lead for the sake of others, not yourselves. I'm going to read you the verses that kind of lay this out, starting in verse 1. He writes, This may be to me the most crucial element of effective leadership. It may be for me the biggest responsibility that anyone with influence carries. That we acknowledge that we carry that influence not for ourselves, but for the sake of those that we serve. We're put in a position of committee chair, sitting on a committee, or being an elder, or being placed on staff, or being placed in a volunteer role. We're placed there not for ourselves, but so that we can serve the people that we have influence over. And sometimes it's really easy to see how people will use their leadership to be domineering and make it about themselves. I have a good buddy whose son Miles is six years old and he's playing on his first little T-ball baseball team or whatever it is. And he was expressing some frustration the other day because the coach will only put Miles in right field. He never puts him in any other positions. And my buddy's kind of, he's ticked. And he's like, listen, Miles isn't the best one out there. He might be the worst one out there, but he's also six. And this is teaching him to hate baseball, which is fine for me because sooner later, you learn to hate baseball. It's super boring. But it just makes me so mad, because that coach is making just this tiny little modicum of leadership over a bunch of six-year-olds. You're doing it because no one else wants to, dude. Like, we've all made the mistake, and now you've fallen on the sword. But it's going to his head, and his whole goal is to win ballgames. So. So I got to put the best players in the best places because if I don't win this six-year-old baseball game, I'm not going to be easy to live with this Saturday. Like, come on. It's silly. And so sometimes it's easy to tell when people in positions of leadership are doing it in a domineering way, are making it about themselves and what they can get out of it and not about others. But sometimes it's a lot more subtle than that. And I know for me that this lesson came home to roost over COVID, specifically in the summer of 2020 and coming out of 2020 into 2021. I realized during that season, and I'm going to be vulnerable with the Memorial Day crowd here because no one's going to keep up with this online. Let's pick it up next week. I realized during that season that my primary motivator in doing sermons and preparing sermons, whether I liked it or not, and it had always been this way, and I would have never admitted it to you, but I would have said, yeah, that's there, but I keep my eye on it. But really and truly, for all of my preaching career, dating back to when I was 25 years old and started preaching at Covenant Community Church, my primary motivator in preparing and presenting sermons was I want to impress you. That's it. I want you to think I'm good at it. I want you to think I'm smart. I want you to think that my insights are good. I want to show you something you haven't thought about before in a long time. Show you something fresh. I wanted to, you know, learn to raise my voice when I'm supposed to and lean in when it matters and all the stuff that you learn to do. And then my primary motivation was to just be impressive. Dating all the way back to when I first started. God gave me influence. He put me on a stage and he winds me up and he lets me go. And my primary motivator in that was that I would be exalted. That I would get to walk through the lobby a hero for this wonderful message that I just gave. And I was really good at pretending like, oh, thank you, thank you. But I loved it. And then COVID happened. And when COVID happened, I'm in this room preaching to that camera with one other person here. He's sitting at the soundboard not even listening to the words that I'm saying, just trying to make sure technically everything's going well. So I'm literally preaching to nothing. And we would record on Thursday. Sunday would come around. I'd sit in my living room and watch it, which felt super weird to sit in your own living room and watch yourself preach with your family expecting them. Are you getting anything out of this? Is this changing your life right now? No adulation, no good jobs, no attaboys, very little feedback. And the thing that I wanted from the work that I put into the sermons wasn't there anymore. My motivation to prep and to be sharp and to be ready and to do well, it wasn't there anymore. And so I kind of walked through this season of lifelessness and didn't really understand what was going on. And honestly, I thought more in that season. It was the first time in my life I asked the question about myself, like, is this really what I want to do? Do I really want to be a pastor for the rest of my life? Because this job's weird, man. But somewhere in there, the Holy Spirit kept working on me. And I don't remember the day or the time. I just know that profoundly it happened kind of coming back from we spent that holiday with Jen's family for a longer time and ended up losing her dad right before the new year. And when we got back from that, there's just this switch. And I just remember, maybe it was the Holy Spirit, I don't know. But I just remember thinking, why don't you just try to help them and not impress them? Why don't you just try to be helpful and not impressive? Why don't you quit worrying about if the sermon is the best sermon that they've ever heard on this particular topic? Why don't you quit stressing yourself out about that and just try to be helpful with the topic or with the passage that's been presented. Just serve God's people. And when I started thinking about it in that way, it was like a switch went off. It was like life got breathed back into my body. It was the joy of being a pastor came back. The desire to prepare and study returned. Before that, the sermon felt like the weekly test that I had to pass. You guys gonna keep paying me? Is this good enough for you? And then after that, it became the thing I was excited about. God, how do I get to help your people this week? How can I encourage the folks this week? How can I serve grace this week? What can I show them this week? I would have never done a sermon like this a couple years ago because this is listy and pointed and boring. But as I looked at the text and what we could learn from it and what we could gain from it, I was convinced that this is the most helpful thing I can do is to say, what does God expect of his leaders? More of you are leaders than you think you are, so what does God expect of us as we lead? And what's our leadership culture going to look like here? It feels like the most helpful thing to do. So where you are in your leadership, both here and in the areas outside of the church where you exert influence? Have you made it about yourself and what that influence can do for you? Or have you made it about how you can use that influence to be helpful to others and serve them? And I don't share that with you to be able to say, look at me, I've arrived at pure motives as a pastor. It's going to be smooth sailing from here. No, I'm sure I'll preach a sermon when I'm 50, if the Lord lets me do it that long, and I will have unraveled all kinds of messiness in my 40s that I need to repent of. I just don't know what they are yet. But to encourage you, if you feel like you're in a dry season in your leadership, if things don't feel like they're going, if the joy that you used to have and the things that God has you do, if that's not there anymore, maybe, maybe he's pruning you and rewiring you to get you to a place where your service isn't about you, it's about the people that you get to help. So when we lead at grace, we lead for the sake of others. We do not lead for the sake of ourselves. The other thing that God asks of his leaders is to lead while clothed in humility. Lead while clothed in humility. He says this down in verse 5. Likewise, when you were younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you. So now he's back talking to everyone. With humility toward one another. For God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. You know, you guys are smart adults, most of you. And we know what humility is. I don't need to get up here and try to define humility for you in a clever way. You know what it is to be humble. The easiest definition that I've heard that you've heard too is humility is to think, is not to think less of yourself, it's to just think about yourself less. I think that's a good example in humility. Humility isn't to falsely claim that things are not true of you. I have to walk knowing that I'm like off the charts attractive. And for me to deny that is not humble, that's just dishonest. And that's the cross that I have to bear. You have those things you have to be honest about too. But as I thought about humble people, the people in my life who are the most humble, that I want to be more like, the Ron Torrences and the Ginger Gentries of the world. And I think of Jen's dad, John. What are those people who are remarkably humble folks, what do they have in common? I think it's this. I think humility says, I am willing to serve and learn from anyone. The people I know who are the most humble walk through life with this attitude. I am willing to serve anyone. No one is beneath me. No one is too small for me. No one needs to clean up after themselves. I can do it. There is no position. There is no piece of volunteering that I can ascend to where that is too small for me. I'm an elder of the church now. I will not hold babies. No, that's not what humility says. I'm the senior pastor. I deserve all the best things. No, that's dumb. That's not what humility says. I've arrived at this point in my company. I've arrived at this point in my life. I don't have to deal with the small things anymore. Yes, you do, big fella. Because humility says there is no service, there is no act of service that is too small for me. There is no person who is too small for me to serve. And that's the easy one. To me, the harder one is there is, I also have something to learn from everybody. Because I don't know about you, but sometimes it's possible that I can get to thinking I'm pretty smart. I've kind of figured stuff out. And I see somebody who doesn't have as many years or doesn't have the experience, and I see them making these mistakes, and they're mistakes that I probably made too, and I just write them off like I got nothing to learn from them. Or I see people who have their life organized in ways that I would not organize my life. And because of that, I write them off like I have nothing to learn from them. And that's a huge mistake. That's not what humility says. Humility says that the greatest of us can learn from the least of us. That those of us who have the most to offer and the most to share and the most wisdom, that the people in this room who we would all love to hear from on certain issues, those are also the people who think that they can learn something from anybody in this room. So when I think of humility, I think of people who go through life believing, not just trying to convince themselves it's true, but believing that they can serve anyone and learn from anyone. If we maintain those two attitudes, it's going to be hard to go through life arrogantly. Another thing that God asks his leaders to do, and this one's important, is to lead watchfully. To lead watchfully. This is the verse from this passage that you've probably heard before in verse eight. It says, be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. A lot of us have probably heard that verse before. Whenever there's a sermon done on the enemy, on Satan, that's usually the go-to verse, is that he prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. And so as the leaders of God's church, we are to lead watchfully. And what's interesting to me about this verse and this passage is normally in the past when I've read it or when I've encountered it, you kind of just encounter it and it makes me think of me. Watch myself. Take hold of myself. Just know that the enemy is prowling around and that his schemes will disrupt my life and ruin my life if he can do it, so guard myself. But in the context of the larger passage, it really feels more like he's telling the elders of the church, hey, watch the flock, watch your people, lead watchfully. Know that Satan does not like what's going on here. Know that Satan does not like when families show up here. Know that Satan does not like when new people come here or when folks get more involved. He does not like that. He is not for it. And we as the elders and leaders of the church need to be watchful. And I think of the time I went on safari in South Africa. And you're driving out through the plains and the hills and whatever. And there's the way that all of the dumb Americans look at all the fields. There's a way that we look at it like, oh, look at the rhinos. That's super fun. And there's a way that the tour guide watches the fields. And his eyes are a thousand yards beyond yours. His eyes see all kinds of potential danger, and I don't like the way those elephants are acting over there. I think we might be able to see something over here if we go over there. They're looking at 10,000 things that your eyes can't see and are not trained or affixed to. You think of a captain on a boat that's looking out on the horizon for all the potential dangers and we're just looking at the person skiing in the back, right? That is how we are to be watchful over God's flock. Everybody here is the church attends and we do the things and we interact with lives and we ask questions and how are things going and what's going on with so-and-so and how's your family and I haven't seen in a little while, whatever it is. Those of us who are leaders in the church need to have the thousand, need to be looking out onto the horizon and see all kinds of dangers and evils that are waiting up for us for the sake of the flock. And what I think of the most, to put a point on it, is that old adage that we go back to whenever we talk about this passage. Who does the roaring lion devour? Well, the ones who have fallen away from the flock. The ones who are weak. The ones who are hurt. The ones who are slower. The ones who have wandered off. And so for us as leaders to lead watchfully, we look at the fringes of the church. We notice, listen, listen, listen. We notice when families start to dip in their attendance. I haven't seen you in a few weeks. Leaders, that's a red flag. We need to reach out to them. Hey, how you doing? Everything okay? Do you wanna go grab some lunch to grab coffee? Do you want to grab a beer? That's how we be watchful. We talk to somebody and it doesn't seem like things are super good in their marriage. We got to keep our eyes on that. Whatever it is, they're not coming to church together. It doesn't seem like they're talking very much. I don't know how things are doing. They look like they're stressed. They look like life is hard on them right now. Okay. Then they're on the fringe. They're out there on their own. Leaders. We need to be watchful of that. When families start to disengage from church, it could be that the preaching is terrible. I will accept that as one of the motives. It is more likely that the enemy is driving a wedge in their life. It is more likely that they have things going on under the surface that you don't see on a Sunday morning in the lobby, and that those things are bubbling up in such a way that it's demotivating them to come to church. And they're wandering off and they're on the fringes of the flock, leaders. It can't just be me reaching back out to them and calling them and saying, hey, we missed you. We have collective ownership of that to lead watchfully, seeing the dangers that are approaching people and families before they even see them and actively doing something about those dangers. Lastly, God calls us to lead with consistency. Lead with consistency knowing that at the proper time Jesus will give you rest. Here's what Peter writes. Resist him firm in your faith, starting in verse 9, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. So Peter says, once you're doing all these things, leading with humility, making it about others and not about yourself, when you're leading watchfully, actively looking over the flock where God has assigned you, once you're doing that, keep doing it. Stand firm. Don't stop. Don't waver. Don't give up. Don't give in. Continue to cling to the faith in weeks like this when it is difficult. Continue to be the light in dark places. Continue to beat back despair in the lives of others. Continue to reach out to other people and bring them back into the fold. Continue to reach out to people when you feel like you are faltering so that they might bring you back into the fold. But stand firm. Stay consistent. Hold on tight. And God, in His goodness and in His grace, will let you rest when it's your time to rest. God in his grace and his goodness will send Jesus for you when it is time to send Jesus for you. But until then, Christians and leaders, we cling to our hope. We serve God's church well. We serve it with humility and we serve it with selflessness. So my encouragement to you is if you are a leader at grace in any capacity, if you become a leader at grace, lead well. Lead with humility. And let's lead as hard as we can, as faithfully as we can, as selflessly and consistently as we can until Jesus says it's time to stop. Let's pray. Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for these words from Peter. Lord, I pray that you would choose people at grace to put in positions of influence who embody these things, who are humble and who are not self-serving and who are watchful. God, make me these things more and more. Lord, we are so grateful for this place where we can come, where worship is sweet, where we get to see our friends, where we get to be recharged and rejuvenated. So God, we just pray that you would protect this little place, that we would be good stewards of the souls that you entrust to us, that for all the new people who come in, God, we would welcome them with open arms. For the people who have been here, God, we will watch after them and reach out to them. We ask that you would make grace all that you want it to be, and that we would serve you well in the midst of that. In Jesus' name, amen.

Good morning, everybody. It's good to see you. My name is Nate. I get to be one of the pastors here. Thanks for being here on this cold February morning on Super Bowl Sunday. I hope everybody's got fun plans, or if you don't care about the Super Bowl at all, I hope you have a nice dinner planned for yourself. This is the third part in our series going through the book of Colossians. And this week, as we approach it, I wanted to approach the text with this kind of idea in mind. We're going to be in Colossians chapter 2 and then on through chapter 3 in some different portions of it. So if you have a Bible, go ahead and turn there. And then if you're at home, please turn there. If you don't have a Bible, there's one in the seat back in front of you. I would also call your attention to the bulletin. The bulletin looks a little bit different this week. There's no place for you to take notes. So note takers, you're going to have to get creative. Instead, I've put a prayer on the bulletin that we're going to pray at the end of the service together. You'll pray silently as I pray it aloud. And by the time we get there, hopefully the prayer makes a lot more sense and is meaningful and is something that you will carry home with you. But we'll talk more about that at the end of the service. If you're watching online, this bulletin is attached to the grace find that you should have received this week. So you can download that if you want to, or you can just email someone on staff and we'll be happy to send it over to you if you find it helpful and want to pray it throughout your week. But as we approach the text this week, I wanted to start here. I'm not sure if any of you have ever tried to eat healthy, okay? By the looks of most of us, this has been an effort at least at some portion of our life, but there have been a lot of times in my life when I have decided that I'm going to begin to eat with some wisdom. I'm going to start to eat well. I'm a person who's had a lot of day one workouts, and I've had a lot of day one diets. Okay, there's more in my future. Maybe tomorrow. Who knows? Not today. It's Super Bowl Sunday. This is not the day to start a diet, but tomorrow is fresh and hope springs eternal. But whenever I decide that I'm going to eat well, right? I'm going to eat responsibly, which is like a rabbit. Whenever I decide I'm going to do that, I feel like I am a person who is at war with myself. I feel like I am two separate people. I am one person who wants to eat well, and I am another person who just loves food so much that he's angered by me who wants to eat well. Because I love food. I don't know about your relationship with food. Mine is probably not healthy. If I know that I'm going to have a certain dinner that night or that we're going somewhere like a restaurant or something like that, I already know what I'm getting and I wake up thinking about it. Like I look forward to it throughout the day. That's how much I love food. For the Super Bowl tonight, we're going to have pigs in a blanket. I'm going to dip them in spicy mustard. I'm going to eat more than I should. I'm already excited about it, okay? That's just how I am about food. So when I decide that I want to eat well, it's really difficult for me. And I don't know about you, but I have certain stumbling blocks. It's pretty easy for me to eat well around the house. I kind of do a good job not snacking when I'm not supposed to. I don't drink the soda and stuff when I'm not supposed to. I drink black coffee and water, and that's pretty much it during the day. That's not very challenging. But what is challenging is when I'm trying to eat well, and my sweet wife on a Friday or Saturday will say, you want to go Chick-fil-A and get a biscuit? Yeah, yeah, I do, okay? I always want to go to Chick-fil-A and get a biscuit. That answer is never no, okay? You ask me, Nate, do you want a biscuit? Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. But you just had three. I don't care. You're offering me one. I want another biscuit. I like biscuits in the morning. So that's tough, all right? The other time it's tough is when I go out to eat. Because I'll go out to eat. I'll go to places that I like, and they have food there that I like. And one of the places I think of is Piper's. I go to Piper's because I meet people there for lunch with a lot of regularity. That's kind of my default spot. And they have salads, like I see them on the menu, right? They got grilled chicken and some fruit or some whatever, some balsamic whatever, less delicious thing that they have there. And I know that I need to order it. And I have girded my loins. I'm ready for this choice. And I go in there and I don't even look at the meat. I look at just the salads. I don't look at the other things. But see, here's the thing. This Piper's has one of the best Reuben's in the city. They really do. It's delicious. And that's what I want, right? I want the Reuben. And I've been thinking all day about how I shouldn't have the Reuben. And I've made the decision, I'm going to get the salad. I'm going to eat the thing that I don't want. But then it's like Satan's working against me or God's just giving me a special grace and telling me it's okay. I'm not sure which sign. And the table next to me will receive a piping hot, crispy toasted Reuben. As I'm sitting there trying to muster up the discipline to order my salad. And I look at that Reuben and I look at those fries and I look at that ketchup and the waitress says, what do you have? That! I want that Reuben. I did not want a salad. And I cave, right? So for me to be on a diet is for me to live at war with myself. I bring that up because I think that you'll know that this is true. Those of you who have been a Christian for any amount of time, to be a Christian is to be at war with yourself. To be a Christian, to be a believer, is to know the good you ought to do and yet still struggle to do it. I even think, and this is a sad reality, it should not be the case, and hopefully God can deliver us from this, and hopefully this sermon moves the needle on this a little bit, but I even think that to be a believer is to be constantly disappointed with how spiritually mature you are and how spiritually mature you think you should be by now. Because we know the good things we're supposed to do. We know the kindness we're supposed to show. We know the greed we're not supposed to have and the pride that we're supposed to iron out. And we know all the different things and our hidden sins and the stuff that we look at and whatever it is, the stuff that we consume. We know what we're not supposed to do and we know what we are supposed to do. And we try like heck to be that person, but we are a person who feels at war with ourself because there is the person within us who wants to eat right and there is the person within us who really loves a good Reuben, whatever that might be for you. And they exist at war with each other. I am convinced that to be a believer means to live in a state of tension within yourself of who you know you should be, of who you know God created you to be, of who you know God designed you to be, and yet not being able to walk in that. There's a verse that's super challenging for me where Paul tells us that we should live a life worthy of the calling that we have received. And I don't know about you, but I don't get to the end of too many days, much less weeks, where I look back on that week and I go, yeah, this week I was obedient to that verse. And if we're honest as Christians, it gets tiring to know that that's true. It gets exhausting to constantly fall short. Paul actually describes this tension in one of my favorite passages. It's one of the most human things to me that's written in the Bible, particularly by Paul in Romans chapter 7. In Romans chapter 7, Paul writes specifically about this tension in the Christian life when, in my inner being, but I see in my members another regenerated person as God has rescued my heart and claimed it and one day will whisk me up to heaven. He's given me eternal life and I'm living as a new creature that we're going to talk about more in a minute. I feel in this inner being a desire to live the righteous life that God has called me to live. And yet, also in my body, is a desire to revert back to my old self. It is a desire to revert to who I am without Jesus. It is a desire to indulge the flesh. It is a desire for the things that I used to consume that I know I don't need to consume anymore. That exists within us. And then he exclaims at the end of it, O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death? Who will finally give me victory? How will I finally live the life that I'm supposed to live? And so that's where we arrive this morning. In Colossians, is this age-old question that all Christians face, that Francis Schaeffer, an author in the 20th century, framed up in a book entitled, How Should We Then Live? Meaning, in light of the gospel, in light of what we talked about in week one, the picture of Jesus that Paul paints for the Colossians, remember, they're facing pressure from within and without to go back to rules and aestheticism and to be legalistic and add on more rules than what is necessary so that they can live a righteous life, and then pressure from the more liberal part of their community to say none of the rules matter, how we live doesn't matter at all. You have total grace to do whatever it is you want to do. And so Paul, to that pressure, paints a picture of Christ as the apex of history and the apex of hope, as the connection point and nexus between the spiritual realm and the physical realm, how he is the creator God over everything, this majestic picture of Christ. And so the question becomes, how do we live in light of that picture? How do we live in light of the gospel? I am saved. I am a new creature. God has breathed new life into me. I am no longer a slave to sin, as Paul describes in Romans, but now I have this option to move forward with the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit in me and to live a life worthy of the calling that I have received. Now, how do I do it? How do I do it? That's the question that we come to in Colossians. And it should be a question that matters to each and every Christian. Father, how do I live a life worthy of the calling that I've received? How do I grow into spiritual maturity? What do I do practically? How do I live the Christian life? And it's an important question because it dictates how we pursue God. And to this question, I think we often answer it in the same way that we're trained to answer any other question in our life about how we get better at a particular thing. If you want to get better at exercising, what do you need? You need more discipline. You need to wake up. You need to do it. You need to be more disciplined in the way you pursue exercise. If you want to eat better, what do you need to do? You need to be more disciplined. You want to do better at time management. You need more discipline in time management. You want to be more focused. You want to be more productive. You want whatever it is, however it is, you want to grow and be better. What is the fundamental requirement of that pursuit of better? It's discipline. We need to do better. We need to come up with structures and systems that we follow, and I'm going to white knuckle my way to success here. And the most disciplined people within our field, they achieve the most success. The most disciplined people at the gym look the best in a t-shirt. The most disciplined people, when they go out to eat, they have the healthiest hearts. Like discipline is the root to how we accomplish success. And so, because that's true, and so very many areas of our life, even though we could philosophically talk about whether or not that's true, because we think that's true in so many areas of our life, we also just by default apply that to our spiritual life. If I want to be more godly, then I need to be more disciplined. I'm going to set up more rules, more regulations. I'm going to get up at this time. I'm going to do these things. I'm going to be the type of person that is defined by these things. We focus on our behavior and our self-discipline. And I think when we are faced with the question of how do I then live? How do I become the Christian that God has created and designed me to be? I think that in our culture, our default answer is to attempt to white-knuckle discipline our way to godliness. And here's what Paul says about that knee-jerk reaction that all perish as they are used, according to human precepts and teachings. Listen, these have indeed an appearance of wisdom and promoting self- we be the people that God asks us to be? And their response, it seems, at least initially, was white-knuckle discipline, aestheticism, following the rules. The better you follow the rules, the more God loves you. It's a very simple exchange. That's what legalism says. And so they're just going to be try-hards. They're just going to be do-betters. That's just what they're going to do. And to help them try really hard, they set up all these rules and parameters around their life. And they say, whoever can follow these rules the best is the greatest Christian. But Paul says, that's fine. Set up your rules. Have all your standards. Set the boundaries really far away from the actual boundary. He says, but all those rules and all that, the way that it looks, the way that you're living, just dotting all the T's and crossing all the I's and really, really, really having these policies in life that keep you on the straight and narrow. Paul says, yeah, those have the appearance of wisdom. And I would add in our vernacular, godliness, but they do nothing. They do nothing to stop the indulgence of the flesh that is the reason for the sinning that we need the rules for. For instance, let's say that what you struggle with is pride. Okay, I'm having to make some assumptions here because I don't have the struggle, but if you do, let's say that something that you struggle with is pride and you go, you know what, God, I gotta get rid of this. I gotta be better. I'm gonna be better at being more humble. I'm gonna try to push out my pride. And so we take intentional steps. Maybe we're people who will maybe kind of fish for compliments sometime, or maybe we'll ask people what they thought about something. And really all we want them to do is tell them that we did a good job or that we're good at this or that we're good at that. And there's ways, if you're a prideful person, there are ways to go through your life and get the people in your life to affirm you. And if you are this person, you're exhausting, okay? I've exhausted others. I say that as a friend. That's not a good road to walk. But let's say that you're a prideful person, and so you need other people to affirm you all the time and the things that you're good at, but you realize in light of the gospel and in light of God's word that pride is not good, and so we need to iron this out of our life. So we go, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to ask other people for compliments. I'm not going to ask other people to affirm me. I'm not going to seek my value in other places. And then once you get really good at that and you haven't done that in a couple of weeks and you still feel good about yourself, then what do you do? Boy, I am proud of myself for not needing other people to tell me I'm good. Now we're taking pride in a new thing. What Paul says is there is this part of our flesh that is going to manifest negative things in our life, pride, greed, selfishness, lust, whatever it is. And we can put parameters around those things, but they're going to leak out somewhere. You can follow whatever rules you want to follow. You can white knuckle yourself into some good discipline. I've seen some people who can keep themselves on the straight and narrow for years, but those negative traits that exist within you, those things are going to leak out somewhere else. And I know this because I've met a lot of people who can follow the rules really well, and they're jerks. It's just their flesh leaking out in other ways. So what Paul says is we cannot white knuckle our way to godliness. Discipline, self-control, more rules, more standards. Those do not get us to spiritual maturity. Those do not put us in a place where we can live a life worthy of the calling that we have received. That's not the answer. In chapter 3, thankfully, I believe that he gives us the answer. And I think it's a refreshing one. Because when we try to get to godliness by white-knuckle discipline, just I'm going to be a try-hard, I'm going to be a do-better, what happens is not good. Because if you have ever in your life decided, yeah, I'm going to be a better Christian, and I'm going to do it by taking these steps. I'm going to do it by instilling these standards in my life. I'm going to do it by my own effort and me trying hard. And maybe we pray a prayer, God, I am never going to do this again. God, I am always going to do this moving forward. God, I swear that that will never be a part of my life again. And we make these big promises and we make these big claims. And listen, we mean them. But here's what I know about you. If you've ever promised God that you will never or that you will always, then you have failed. That's what I know about you. If we ever have promised God, I will never do blank. I will always do blank, we have failed in those promises because we can't keep those commitments, because we're broken. Because of Romans 7, the things that I do not want to do, I do, because it's part of our nature to fail in that way. And because that's true, after we make up our mind enough times that God, I'm never going to, or God, I'm always going to, and then we fail, we get to a place where either we just feel like this broken, wretched Christian, and we're thinking, God, I'll never be good enough for you. I don't think I'll ever be good enough for you. Just please let me be saved. Just please let me just hang on until I get to the end of my life. Please usher me into heaven. I know I'll never be who I'm supposed to be. I know that I can't pursue those things, but please just accept me as I am. And we kind of just live this broken down, hopeless Christian life where we feel like we're limping our way to heaven. Or worse than that, we try so hard and we fail so many times that we get so tired of trying that we can't find it within ourselves to do it anymore. And then we conclude, God, your word says that I'm a new creature. Your word says that you will help me. Your word says that you will empower me. And yet I fail over and over and over again. So I can only conclude that you don't keep your word. And then we just wander away from the faith and we give up on God because righteousness is too hard because we've only ever tried it by ourself and we've never invited God in in the way that he needs to be invited in, and our white-knuckle disciplining to try to be better and more godly to pursue the faith that we want so earnestly ends up costing us our faith. So that's not the way. We find the way in Colossians 3. And I would sum it up like this. We grow to maturity by focusing on being rather than behaving. We grow to maturity by focusing on being rather than behaving, by focusing on who we are rather than how we behave. And here's what I mean. In this chapter, we're going to see this idea introduced here by Paul, but introduced in plenty of other places by Paul in the New Testament, of the old and the new. The old you and the new you. The old you is who you were without Jesus. The new you is who you are with Jesus. The old you, the Bible says, was a slave to sin. I had no choice but to do things that displeased God. I had no chance at all. But the new you infused with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit does have the chance every day when you wake up to walk that day according to the life that God has called you to. We have a chance when we wake up to live today in honoring God and actually finish the day living a life worthy of the calling that we have received that day. We've got a chance. There's a new us. And the new us desperately wants to please God. And so this is what Paul says about old self and new self in Colossians chapter three. This is what he says about being versus behaving. Look at Colossians chapter three, verses five through eight first. Put to death, Paul says, therefore, what is earthly in you? Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desires, and covetousness, which is idol rules. But here's what we need to do. We need to put to death these things, sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desires, covetousness, anger, slander, all these things. And at first, it sounds like that's a little bit in tension with what he just said. He said, if you want to be godly, if you want to be who God created you to be, it's not about following the rules. It has an appearance of wisdom, but that's not really helping any indulgence of the flesh. And then the very next chapter over, he's saying, put to death these things, which feels like rules and standards that he's giving us, except he's not giving us behaviors. He's telling us to put things to death. Remember how I said that if you follow rules, if you're trying to break yourself of pridefulness and you put rules around your pridefulness and then it just leaks out and into another area of your life. Jesus is, Paul is acknowledging that. See, it's not about trying to follow the rules because those unhealthy things just leak into other portions of your life. It's about actually putting the pride to death. It's about actually putting greed and lust to death in your heart so that in your heart there is no place for them to dwell. And if there is no place for them to dwell, then they will not produce the behaviors that you're trying so desperately to control. So the first thing is to acknowledge that we don't need to put parameters around our old self. We need to put our old self to death. And we do this by focusing on being. How do we put those things to death? This is what Paul says in Colossians 3. I'm going to read verses 12 through 17. Put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you. So you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, we live a life worthy of the calling that we have received? In the phrasing of Hebrews 12, verse 1, What the world do I live the life that you want me to live? I think what Jesus would say is, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Jesus, what rules should I follow in this new life that you've called me to? How do I run the race that you've set before me? Jesus says, just look at me. Just keep your eyes on Christ. This is actually in complete harmony with Romans 12 that tells us that we should run the race and that we should throw off the sin and the weight that so easily entangles us by, in verse 2, focusing your eyes on Christ, the founder and perfecter of your faith. So how do we live the life that God calls us to live? We daily make ourselves aware of Christ's love for us. We daily make ourselves aware of what God has done for us. If we will daily reflect on the fact that Jesus in heavenly form condescended and took on flesh and lived amongst us for 33 years and put up with everything that we have to offer and continues to walk with us and continues to love us and continues to sit at the right hand of the Father and intercedes for you as an individual, leans into God's ears and says, she's good. She's with me. She loves you, Father. I died for her. If we will let that reality wash over us daily, how could we not put to death the pride that exists in us by walking in humility at the love of God that we receive? If we are struggling with anger towards other people and frustration and impatience, how is it possible to spend a portion of your day every day focusing on the reality of God's patience with you? Focusing on the reality that as many times as you've said, God, I will never, or God, I will always, and then you failed, that God has been right there to help you clean up the mess every time. How can we not grow in forgiveness of others when we constantly remind ourselves of how forgiven we are? How can we not grow in patience to others when we constantly are focused on the patience that God has to us? If we will focus on God's overwhelming grace, that he died for us while we were still sinners, that he pursues us while we run away from him, that even though we fail him over and over again, he continues to love us with a reckless love, that God loves us while we were unlovely, that God sees us fully and knows us completely and still loves us unconditionally. If we let those things wash over us every day, how could we not look at other people and be more loving and patient towards them in light of how loving and patient God is towards us? Do you understand that these things that we clothe ourself with in Colossians 12 through 17 necessarily put to death our old self that Paul tells us to rid ourself of. So if we want to get rid of malice, what do we do? We focus on Christ. If we want to get rid of pride, do we put parameters around our pride? No, we focus on Jesus and who he is and realize that we have no right to our pride. If we want to be more gracious people, what do we do? We focus on Jesus' grace to us. Say, Jesus, how in the world do I live the life that you call me to live? Oh, wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death? And Jesus says, focus on me. Focus on me. So I would tell you, if you are a Christian who lives at war with yourself, you do not have a discipline issue, you have a focus issue. If you are someone who struggles with greed, you don't have a greed issue. You have a focus issue. If we try to be more godly and more pleasing to him by focusing on the behaviors that we need to do better, we will fail over and over and over again. But if we can put our focus on Christ, the founder and perfecter of our faith and let his grace and goodness and mercy and love wash over us daily, then those things will necessarily put to death the very root of the behaviors that we do not like. So again, if we are struggling in our walk with God, we do not have a discipline issue. We do not have a sin issue. We have a focus issue. We need to focus our eyes on Christ, the founder and perfecter of our faith. We need to pursue him more with more urgency. We need to let the truths of how he loves us wash over us more. And those will necessarily put to death the elements of our character that we do not like, that produce the behaviors that we do not want to do. You can think of it this way. Our old self cannot survive where our new self thrives. Our problem is we have a new self and we have an old self and we feed them both the same amount of food. We give in to them both equally. And so they both just exist in this tension and if we ever want to put to death our old self, then our new self has to thrive. And our new self thrives by clothing ourselves in the characteristics of Christ and we clothe ourselves in those characteristics by focusing him and daily letting his goodness wash over us. So it's very simple. How should we then live? How do we get to the end of a single day? Living a life worthy of the calling that we have received that day? By focusing our eyes on Jesus on that day. By looking at him that day. And letting everything else fade away and take care of itself. Because it's that simple, and because that's what we need to do, I wrote a prayer for us as a church. In a few minutes, I'm going to read it and pray it over us as a church and invite you to read it along with me. If you find it helpful, I would love to invite you to put this prayer somewhere where you can see it, where this is a thing that you will pray daily. Put it on your desk, or in your car, or on your mirror. If this is helpful to you, I would encourage you to pray this every day until it's not helpful to you, until the principles of this prayer are so ingrained in you that it is part of your daily prayer. But if we want to live a life as Christians that we are called to live, then I am convinced that this needs to be a fundamental prayer that we focus on very regularly. Not necessarily the words that I've chosen here, but the ethos and the attitude and the posture that's presented in this prayer and the acknowledgments of the truths that are in this prayer that are from Colossians chapter three and other portions of scripture as we seek to live the life that God calls us to live. So I'm gonna pray this over us and invite you to pray it along with me. Father, I know I am your child and that in you I am a new creation. Though I know this, I struggle to believe it. Because I struggle to believe, I struggle to walk as you would have me walk. So Father, help me learn to walk in this new self. As I put on the new self, I ask that you would help me see others through your eyes and so clothe me in your compassion. Help me regard others as your beloved children as you clothe me in your kindness. Remind me of the way you love me when I am unlovely in order that I might humbly love others in the way I am loved. Remind me today, Father, of who I am in you. As you clothe me in these things, let them put to death in me the remnants of my old self. Let your humility drive out my impatience, my anger, and my pride. Let your compassion and kindness suffocate my jealous and selfish heart. Let the way you see me overshadow and obscure the way I see myself. Help's name, Father. Amen.